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		<title><![CDATA[X-treme Wrestling Federation - Bad Medicine 2026 RP Board]]></title>
		<link>https://xwf1999.com/</link>
		<description><![CDATA[X-treme Wrestling Federation - https://xwf1999.com]]></description>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Sep 2026 04:22:54 +0000</pubDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[Look What You Made Us Do]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50298</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 18 Jul 2026 23:04:42 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=3210">RemiStorm</a>]]></dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[THE MYSTERY OF THE WORKING TITLE]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50297</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 18 Jul 2026 22:03:25 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=3197">Ennui Clown</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50297</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Clown City<br />
Clown City’s Big Landing Pad, Landing Pad Town<br />
High Noon<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
Balloons!<br />
<br />
Parades!<br />
<br />
Streamers!<br />
<br />
Kazoos!<br />
<br />
Debauchery!<br />
<br />
A hero's welcome has commenced in Landing Pad Town (which is a tri-state area) within Clown City (which is a planet). Literal trillions of clowns have cramped themselves in the bustling streets to witness the return of the Tag Team Champions!<br />
<br />
Astronaut Clown & Houston Clown!<br />
<br />
We go live on the scene to Live at the Scene Clown.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Good high noon everyone, if you’re sat on your keister watching this and not here in Clownson…”</span><br />
<br />
Beside him, from beneath the frame, pops up a second clown.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #05819f;" class="mycode_color">“What the fuck is ‘here in Clownson’?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“...It’s like ‘here in person’, but for us clowns.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #05819f;" class="mycode_color">“That makes no etymological sense.”</span> Complains Pedantry Clown, <span style="color: #05819f;" class="mycode_color">“It’s not like the ‘per’ in person denotes the human aspect, it’s the entire word! It should be ‘Here in Clown’!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #92b791;" class="mycode_color">“I’m here in clown!”</span> Calls out Top Clown, amidst graphic clown-on-clown sex! <span style="color: #92b791;" class="mycode_color">“In this clown specifically!”</span> He points at his clown partner. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #40cfa4;" class="mycode_color">“It’s a living.”</span> Groans Exists-For-The-Sake-Of-This-Bit Clown.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Regardless! If you’re not here physically! Then, you must be a disgrace to clownmanity and will be dealt with!”</span><br />
<br />
We cut briefly to an overweight clown in a white tank top and rainbow wig combover who splutters his lips watching this in the comfort of his home.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e4ab74;" class="mycode_color">“Pfft! I work 9 jobs, I ain’t got times for thats! I deserves a breaks!”</span><br />
<br />
Suddenly his door is bashed open by a battering ram and his house is swarmed by clowns in black coats.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">“Zis vill not do, Oververked Clown!”</font> Says Gestapo Clown who pulls out a mauser pistol and shoots Overworked Clown in the head.<br />
<br />
The battering ram sighs whilst eating some grass, <span style="color: #6e44f3;" class="mycode_color">“It’s a living! Baaaa!!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #05819f;" class="mycode_color">“WE DID THAT JOKE ALREADY!”</span> Pedantry Clown moans! <span style="color: #05819f;" class="mycode_color">“And clownmanity suggests that that the hu- in human is…”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“So you’re more concerned about the use of the word clownmanity than the apparent existence of Nazi Clowns in the tapestry of Clown City lore.”</span><br />
<br />
…Pedantry Clown thinks about it.<br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #05819f;" class="mycode_color">“Yes.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Ugh. Feels really weird that we have those here… Oh, hold on!”</span> Live on the Scene Clown presses his finger to his earpiece.<br />
<br />
His earpiece honks.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“I’m receiving word now that… They’re not really Nazis? We didn’t have World War 2 here? And Hitler never existed so this was just a fun bit to get a shock laugh out of the people watching? And this repeating part was unnecessary?”</span><br />
<br />
Live at the Scene Clown’s eyes widen! <span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Oh, I’m receiving another word…”</span><br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.”</span><br />
<br />
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia Clown screams in horror.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Enough clownanigans, folks, time to get out your sun-blocking glasses to see the rocket enter our goofy atmosphere!”</span><br />
<br />
Every single clown puts on glasses with those dangly eyes on springs that bob up and down rhythmically. Appreciates-the-Classics Clown chuckles to himself in anticipation knowing that as soon as those glasses come off, every clown will have black circles around their eyes. He wipes away a tear, <font color="yellow">“Ha, classic.”</font><br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">ERSTWHILE</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
On the rocket ship slowly making its way back down to Clown City, Astronaut Clown places a hand on the window looking down at the approaching planet. A championship belt draped over his shoulder.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“Home. Looks so small from up here.”</span><br />
<br />
Clown City, the planet, with a cartoonish face gasps and looks down at its bra before stuffing tissue into the padding and making a sexy pose. A passing meteor sees this and grows a wolf’s face and begins howling as its eyes bulge out of its skull.<br />
<br />
The toilet flushes and Houston Clown goes to see the view and whistles, <span style="color: #fcabaf;" class="mycode_color">“Check out those melons!”</span><br />
<br />
Space Grocer Clown waves as her fruit stand sails pass the rocket.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“Yeah,”</span> Astronaut Clown remarks, <span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“She has huge tits too.”</span><br />
<br />
And two huge Space Blue Tits carry her and her fruit stand off to safety. Probably back to Bird World, (which is a city) but that's a story for never, we won’t tell it, don’t even THINK ABOUT ASKING.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #fcabaf;" class="mycode_color">“Well, kid, we did it. We got our titles from Title City, which is a planet, and we’re gonna be the most famous Clowns in Clownstory! What’s the first thing you gonna do when we get home?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“Hmm.”</span> Astronaut Clown thinks deeply, <span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“I’m probably gonna see my mom, ask my girlfriend to marry me, live in the house we’re two payments away from paying off, finally finish that novel I’ve been working on, and take my clown son out to play catch like I promised him I’d do right when I got back to Clown City.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #fcabaf;" class="mycode_color">“What a great list of things that you’re definitely going to get to do!” Houston Clown puts an arm around Astronaut Clown, “As for me, I’m getting old, I think I’m just gonna take life to the fullest, really enjoy myself! See everything there is to see. Maybe release all my secret files that implicate the highest echelons of Clown City government officials in a widespread conspiracy to consolidate power, enrich themselves, and quietly suppress the Clown people’s collective knowledge of Clown World War 2.”</span><br />
<br />
Houston Clown glances toward the camera. <span style="color: #fcabaf;" class="mycode_color">“Clown World War 2, of course, being the first Clown World War.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“Clown World of course being…”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #fcabaf;" class="mycode_color">“A township. The war was over parking.”</span><br />
<br />
Astronaut Clown claps Houston Clown on the back. <span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“That sounds like a great idea! We’re going to live forever!”</span><br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">Elsewhere…</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Ladies and germs!”</span> Live at the Scene Clown announces, his googly glasses bobbing away, <span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Our heroes have broken through the atmosphere and the rocket is touching down on the big landing pad!”</span><br />
<br />
Houston Clown holds a tiny umbrella to slow the fall until the rocket lands perfectly in the center of the bullseye on the landing pad.<br />
<br />
A crazy slide with a sick loop descends from the rocket and the blast doors open to the cheers of the crowd, all of which have black circles around their eyes. Appreciates-the-Classics Clown doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t need to say anything, he just chuckles to himself.<br />
<br />
And as the doors open, two corpses slide down to the crowd.<br />
<br />
… Corpses?<br />
<br />
Oh shit, they’re dead!? THEY’RE DEAD!<br />
<br />
The crowd gasps in unison.<br />
<br />
Police Clowns quickly enter the scene and pardon the area. Triskadekaphobia Clown enters, puffing on his cigarette and ducks under the yellow tape…<br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">NOTE: Noir Clown has fallen ill, sick of shenanigans, and as such he will be played by Triskadekaphobia Clown</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Alright, nothing to see here. Clear out, you Clowns!”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown kneels down, rubbing his chin. He looks at the two dead clowns, sees a knife in each of their backs and concludes his investigation.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Natural causes. Damn shame.”</font> He squints, <font color="dodgerblue">“Hold on a minute… What’s this?”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown takes a note clutched in Astronaut Clown’s hand.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Lemme guess…”</font> A soft southern drawl breaks through the crowd as Southern Gentleman Detective Clown removes his sunglasses and looks over the bodies, <font color="orange">“There’s been a murder.”</font><br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black"><font color="white"><iframe width="640" height="385" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Oj9yMUWjtyA?fs=1&start=" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">SOUTHERN DETECTIVE CLOWN AND TRISKADEKAPHOBIA CLOWN IN…<br />
<br />
THE MYSTERY OF WHETHER THE PHRASE IS ‘here in clown’ OR ‘here in clowson’</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“That’s not what the mystery’s about!”</font><br />
<br />
…Typist Clown backspaces.<br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">THE MYSTERY OF THE THE MURDER THAT WAS OUT OF THIS WORLD</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Well, the murder definitely occurred ON this world. We saw Houston Clown use that umbrella to slow the rocket’s fall!”</font><br />
<br />
…Typist Clown exhales impatiently.<br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
He types…<br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">THE MYSTERY OF THE WORKING TITLE</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Dammit!”</font> Triskadekaphobia Clown smacks Typist Clown. <font color="dodgerblue">“We need a title now!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Damn it, man!”</font> Southern Detective Clown smacks Triskadekaphobia Clown! <font color="orange">“We don’t have time for this! There’s more pressing matters!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“You’re right.”</font> Triskadekaphobia Clown nods. He turns and smacks Beaver Clown! <font color="dodgerblue">“Dam it, man! Or that rising river will flood Clown Planet!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Which is a city!”</font><br />
<br />
Beaver Clown salutes, rushing off to gather twigs and dry branches.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Now, we move onto the SECOND-most important crisis… these two dead guys.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Let’s check that note I found clutched in Astronaut Clown's hand! Maybe with his last act, he wrote the killer's name!”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown unfurls it…<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Drat, it looks like he was interrupted halfway through writing!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Well, halfway through is better than nothing!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Also…”</font><br />
<br />
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/2YtM8dyD/5fe0a9b5-103a-450e-b7be-3bed01f5ff47.png" alt="5fe0a9b5 103a 450e b7be 3bed01f5ff47" border="0" width="500"><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“He died doing a bit.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Tarnation and hellfire! Clowns make for the worst murder victims…”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">FLASHBACK</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
Rookie Cop Clown checks a clown corpse, murdered in broad daylight!<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“The victim wrote a note!”</font><br />
<br />
Rookie Cop Clown retrieves it from his body.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Turn this over to find out who killed me.”</font><br />
<br />
Rookie Cop Clown turns it over.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Turn this over to find out who killed me.”</font><br />
<br />
Rookie Cop Clown turns it over.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Turn this ov-”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown puffs on his cigarette.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“I turned it over thirteen times before I realized Prank Clown had killed himself.”</font><br />
<br />
…He exhales smoke.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“He always said he’d have the last laugh.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Well, did that fishbowl-headed fool write anything of use? Check the back!”</font><br />
<br />
TC turns over the note.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Yes, he wrote down instructions on how to turn a dying note into a sick paper airplane.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“I meant useful to our investigation!”</font><br />
<br />
SGDC hurls the note to the ground. <br />
<br />
The note does a sick loopy-de-loop before landing.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Well, this rocket landing and returning with the belts from Title City was THE event of Clown Season!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Which is a weekend!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Surely, someone saw the murder!”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">THREE HOURS OF QUESTIONING LATER</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Clown God Dammit! Everyone was wearing those goofy googles, what with the springs that bob up and down rhythmically!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“The springs had thirteen coils. A clue.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Not every instance of the number 13 is a clue, you numerical fool! Confound it!”</font> Southern Detective Clown calls out to Clown Thor in despair! <font color="orange">“This happened in plain sight! How could no one see the murder?!?”</font><br />
<br />
A clown coughs.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #71a598;" class="mycode_color">“I saw a murder.”</span><br />
<br />
SGDC spins toward the clown! <font color="orange">“Wonderful, the killer left a witness!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #71a598;" class="mycode_color">“of crows.”</span><br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
SGDC squints, perplexed.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“So… hearing my question regarding if anyone witnessed the murder… you felt it appropriate to interject that you witnessed… a group of crows?”</font><br />
<br />
The clown nods.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #71a598;" class="mycode_color">“Yes, considering I saw them execute Houston Clown.”</span><br />
<br />
SGDC gaps! <font color="orange">“Stars and garters! You witnessed the murder commit a murder!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #71a598;" class="mycode_color">“‘s last will and testament.”</span><br />
<br />
“...”<br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown scratches his bare scalp. <font color="dodgerblue">“So. A flock of crows helped Houston Clown to amend his will?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“But hhhhhhhhWHY!?!?”</font> Ponders SGDC in a fashion that is both southern and gentlemanly.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #71a598;" class="mycode_color">“Oh, because Houston Clown wanted to update his will after he decided to leave his wife.”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“By Clown Odin’s Beard! The wife has a motive!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #71a598;" class="mycode_color">“Everything. He wanted to leave her everything in his will.”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">”DAMN YOUR MISLEADING PAUSES, MAN!”</font><br />
<br />
Misleading Pause Clown coughs.<br />
<br />
Triskadekaphibia Clown raises his hands into a T. <font color="dodgerblue">“Sorry, timeout.”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #34ab4e;" class="mycode_color">“FWOOOOOOOT!”</span> Referee Clown blows a whistle. <span style="color: #34ab4e;" class="mycode_color">“TIMEOUT! Triskadekaphobic Clown has two timeouts and a challenge remaining!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“A murder of crows... executed Houston Clown's will?”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d5385a;" class="mycode_color">“That IS odd!”</span> Legal Expert Clown, who’s been here this entire time, ponders. <span style="color: #d5385a;" class="mycode_color">“Clown City's crow murder populations usually only work in the legal profession as process servers.”</span><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
Pastrami-on-Rye Clown’s in a Clown City park, affixing a napkin to his chest, about to enjoy a pastrami-on-rye...<br />
<br />
Suddenly a murder of crows swoops down!<br />
<br />
<font color="red"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">CAAAAAAAW!</span></font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #387268;" class="mycode_color">“Aw! Get away! Get awaaaaaay!”</span><br />
<br />
P-o-RC swats at them with his sandwich! <br />
<br />
One picks it from his hands!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #387268;" class="mycode_color">“HEY!”</span><br />
<br />
The murder scatters to the skies!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #387268;" class="mycode_color">“My lunch! Ugh, could this day get worse…”</span><br />
<br />
PoRC looks at the bench and sees a bit of paperwork left behind... He picks it up and reads it...<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #387268;" class="mycode_color">“MY WIFE’S DIVORCING ME?!?”</span><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
Legal Expert Clown examines Houston Clown’s will closely…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d5385a;" class="mycode_color">“Hmm! Printed with disappearing ink, as many clown contracts are… in WingDings, yes, very funny, and thus, very legal…”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Get on with it, you fool!”</font> SGDC harumphs impatiently! <font color="orange">“Can you see any clues that would narrow down who killed the tag-team champion clowns?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“We’d also accept instances where the number thirteen is relevant.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“We absolutely would not!”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown sticks his tongue out at SGDC thirteen times.<br />
<br />
It takes a while.<br />
<br />
Every time, his tongue honks.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d5385a;" class="mycode_color">“Hmm! Aha!”</span> Legal Expert Clown points to the time. <span style="color: #d5385a;" class="mycode_color">““There! It was signed… just before the rocket landed!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Wait, so…”</font> Triskadekaphobia Clown quietly gasps. <font color="dodgerblue">“That means the murder of crows was the last person... slash entity… to meet with Houston Clown?” </font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Perhaps they witnessed something about his demeanor... a clue?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Or something related to the number thirteen.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIRTEEN.”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">One drive later to the offices of Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, and Crow: A Limited Liability Practice</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Thirteen crows…”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Oh, shuddup.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“I’ll handle this. I speak the language of thirteen crows.”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown knocks in a crowlike fashion, before opening the office door.<br />
<br />
...<br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown steps back out.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“The crows have been murdered!”</font><br />
<br />
Gasp Clown gasps.<br />
<br />
Southern Gentleman Detective Clown spits out the mint julep he just poured himself!<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“The murder was murdered?!? A murder murder!”</font><br />
<br />
TC raises a blood-covered page!<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“And look what I found under the crow's corpses! A half-completed document to merge their firm with a different thirteen-crow law firm! You know what that would have made their firm?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“...Twenty-six crows?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Double thirteen. Twice as thirteen as thirteen is.”</font><br />
<br />
TC raises a different page, covered in even more blood!<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“But, THIS document, which I found OVER the crow corpses, would have cancelled the merger over alleged perjury by a partner (of multiple crows) in the other firm who also serves as a bishop in the local crow parish reported by his attendant!”</font><br />
<br />
Fainting Clown faints into Gasp Clown’s arms mid-gasp.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“The murder murder was over a murder merger that was scourged over perjury by a murder clergy by the urging of a verger!!?!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“That's a Tongue Twister.”</font><br />
<br />
Board Game Clown raises a box containing Tongue Twister.<br />
<br />
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/BKFWqjMY/57e0c6c3-e3c3-45da-b78e-5d99bbb6741d.png" alt="57e0c6c3 e3c3 45da b78e 5d99bbb6741d" border="0" width="500"><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Not now, Board Game Clown.”</font><br />
<br />
Board Game Clown sadly puts away Tongue Twister.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Dash it all.”</font> Southern Gentleman Detective Clown strokes his chin, which honks as he strokes. <font color="orange">“It feels like we have all the pieces to the puzzle to solve this mystery… Crows, wills, clowns… but they don’t fit together.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“You’re ignoring the big picture. The number thirteen i-”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Sir, if you bring up the number thirteen again, I will personally kick your ass thirteen times up and down Clown Avenue.”</font><br />
<br />
Southern Gentleman Detective Clown puffs his pipe.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Which is a country.”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown sneers irritatedly. <font color="dodgerblue">“I shouldn’t have agreed to a partner. I work best alone.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Even when playing Tongue Twister?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Especially when playing Tongue Twister.”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown spins a wheel.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/6J0dCbqw/86f28f28-37db-4c63-ba57-e57e06b2a055.png" alt="86f28f28 37db 4c63 ba57 e57e06b2a055" border="0"  width="500"><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Hmm, right tongue blue.”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown presses the right side of his tongue to a blue space on the Tongue Twister game mat.<br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Andth I’m the lath player tho… I winth.”<br />
<br />
“Thish is the besh birthay ether.”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
SGDC rolls his eyes so hard they spin around like marbles.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“That’s not even how you play Tongue Twister! The box clearly says TWO players or more! An-”</font><br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“...Wait! That’s it! The number! That’s the key!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Exactly! Thirteen!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“No, you single-minded MUPPET. Two! Don’t you see? Houston Clown AND Astronaut Clown were murdered together! They both had belts from Title City. And those belts are gone!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Right. Some freak’s enjoying those ill-gotten belts. Probably going to eat them as we Clowns typically consume belts.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“That is true and officially part of Clown City lore. But, NOT some freak. Some FREAKS! Plural!”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown gasps.<br />
<br />
Gasp Clown squints. <font color="white">“Stay in your lane, asshole.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“So, you’re saying we’re not looking for one killer… we’re looking for TWO! The difference between one and three! The answer was staring me in the face the whole time! Thirteen!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“One slight correction, my number-obsessed colleague… we’re no longer looking. The suspects are right under our nose! Now it’s a matter of ACCUSING!”</font><br />
<br />
SGDC points skyward!<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“To the Accusing Slash Trash Talk Parlor Room!”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">AND NOW…<br />
<br />
FOR ACCUSING AND/OR TRASH TALK</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
Southern Gentleman Detective Clown paces before two suspects.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Now,  you two know why we’ve gathered you here.”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7e6a76;" class="mycode_color">“To play Tongue Twister?”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“YOU GET OUTTA HERE, BOARD GAME CLOWN!”</font><br />
<br />
Boot! SGDC kicks BGC in the A-S-S to send him O-U-T.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Anyway, you two had motive… opportunity… and the desire…”<br />
<br />
“TO MURDER THE CLOWN TAG CHAMPS AND STEAL THEIR BELTS?!?”</font><br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
Gasp Clown looks from his newspaper to see everyone looking at him.<br />
<br />
<font color="white">“Oh sorry. Ahem…”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="font-size: 36pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">GASP!</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Let’s start with Humorless Bitch Clown.”</font><br />
<br />
A very hip-looking clown in a beret dressed in all black clutches her pearls.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“Eck-SCUSE me! I’m Artiste Clown! I create aaaaaaart!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Humorless Bitch Clown, you enjoy creating large-scale pieces of performance art that offend and shock!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“Yes! That’s what art is! If you take comfort or enjoy what I’m doing, that’s not real art! Art should PISS YOU OFF!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Yes, you loooooove boundary-pushing expressions. Unless of course the expression pushes your boundaries.”</font><br />
<br />
Artiste Clown sneers in disgust!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“Ugh! I hate that! I hate when I don’t like things! That should be illegal!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Like when you spent weeks attacking other artists and challenging them to art contests in your art studio!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“It was a BOLD EXAMINATION of art itself! Competition! DRAMA! FORCING Art on the less talented!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“But then when Fat Stupid Idiot Clown attacked YOU and challenged YOU to an art contest, you acted like it was totally uncalled for.”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“Of course! Because who would do something like that?”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“...YOU would! You did!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“YOU DON’T GET IT! When I piss people off, it’s funny and le trolling! I’m a master of mind games! BUT! When other people piss me off, it’s annoying and toxic!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“...This is just fascinating.”</font> Southern Gentleman Detective Clown strokes his chin thoughtfully, before reaching into his pocket. <font color="orange">“Hold on, I want to try something…”</font><br />
<br />
He fishes around in his pocket, eventually retrieving…<br />
<br />
A mirror.<br />
<br />
He holds it up to Artiste Clown’s face.<br />
<br />
She squints angrily.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“Who the fuck is this loud obnoxious bitch? Someone should call HER Humorless Bitch Clown!”</span><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobic Clown squints. <font color="dodgerblue">“What the hell’s wrong with her? She can’t recognize herself?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“As I suspected. This Clown was born without a sense of self-awareness.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“So… could she kill a clown… and not be aware it’s wrong?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“I mean, wouldn’t be the first time, she killed her three friends in a drunk driving accident!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“Drunk Driving IS art! A populated crosswalk is my canvas… And my brush is a 1992 Nissan Stanza.”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Moving on… to Suspect #2: Introspective Self-Narration Clown!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #797e30;" class="mycode_color">“I stood at the precipice of the abyss in the pouring rain as the casket was slowly lowered into the gaping maw that is a funeral plot.”<br />
<br />
“Two clowns were dead. Heroes of their time… champions even.”<br />
<br />
“As Astronaut Clown was lowered into the Earth, his pants fell around his ankles one last time.”<br />
<br />
“I wept weepingly when I realized a belt would have held them up.”<br />
<br />
“A belt being what he won. A belt being why he died.”<br />
<br />
“Ironic.”<br />
<br />
“Like rain on your wedding day.”<br />
<br />
“Except instead of a wedding, it’s a funeral. And instead of rain, it’s a dead clown.”<br />
<br />
“Like ten thousand spoons, when what you actually need is ten thousand and ONE spoons!”<br />
<br />
“It’s lik-”</span><br />
<br />
SGDC raises his hand. <font color="orange">“I’m… I’m gonna stop you there. You can sit down now, we’re just… we’re moving on from you.”</font><br />
<br />
Introspective Self-Narration Clown sits back down.<br />
<br />
When she sits back down, she sits down on a photo.<br />
<br />
Gasp! The photo is of a young girl clown with hair like ISNC! With an older clown! Gasp! Could that be her…<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“No, no! That’s enough! Thank you, we get it! We’re moving on.”</font><br />
<br />
SGDC shakes his head. <font color="orange">“As great a mystery as this murder is… an even greater conundrum is these two loud pretentious dame clowns and the curious case of who gives a fuck!"</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“They don’t seem the type to share a room let alone a well-executed murder! And besides, if they did do it, Humorless Bitch Clown surely wouldn’t shut up about it! Or left a clear coiled turd as evidence whilst Introspective Self-Narration Clown detailed every small detail in her signature style of a toddler’s first poem!”</font><br />
<br />
SGDC puts a finger to his lips, thinking for a moment before turning to Triskadekaphobia Clown.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“These two wanted the titles for themselves but I doubt they did it, it just doesn’t add up. Committing to something seems like the last thing they’d ever do.”</font><br />
<br />
A slow clap.<br />
<br />
Followed by slow honks.<br />
<br />
As two clowns enter the room. Slowly!<br />
<br />
<font color="red"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Well, well, well, looks like you solved the case, detective!”</span></font><br />
<br />
A strange half-burned clown stands there smugly next to another clown whose pants fall down.<br />
<br />
SGDC and Triskadekaphobia Clown glance at one another.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Who are you guys?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="red"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“HA! Don’t play dumb, fools! Tis I! EVIL HOUSTON CLOWN and my comically foolish henchman, Easily-Tricked-By-The-Director-Clown, AKA Easily-Tricked-By-Evil-Houston Clown!”</span></font><br />
<br />
ETBEHC waves, [nickleman]“It’s a living!”[/nickleman]<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Okay,”</font> Triskadekaphobia Clown puts up a palm, <font color="dodgerblue">“Timeout.”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #34ab4e;" class="mycode_color">“FWWOOT!”</span> Referee Clown blows his whistle, <span style="color: #34ab4e;" class="mycode_color">““Triskadekaphobia Clown has 1 timeout and 1 challenge remaining.”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“No one cares about you guys! We didn’t even bother putting you on the suspect list! I thought you died, honestly! You fucking suck!”</font><br />
<br />
Evil Houston Clown frowns, sticking out his bottom lip, then his pants fall down.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“You failed at beating Houston Clown and Astronaut Clown! You haven’t done anything of note in months! You made it your life mission to get revenge on some schmuck and he’s doing great now while you’re literally doing nothing! Everyone on Clown City-”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Which is a planet.”</font><br />
<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“-Literally forgot you existed! You are single-handedly the most pathetic clown to ever exist! And Norm Grekin lives here!”</font><br />
<br />
Former NBA player Norm Grekin, who’s ALSO been here all along, turns shocked! <span style="color: #897727;" class="mycode_color">“Hey! I’m not pathetic!”</span><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown twirls his finger.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Challenge.”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">ONE CAREER REVIEW LATER</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
Referee Clown takes off his headphones and looks into the camera.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #34ab4e;" class="mycode_color">“After review… Norm Grekin IS pathetic.”</span><br />
<br />
#897727“Shucks!”[/color] Grekin double-dribbles a can down the street.<br />
<br />
It hits his foot and goes down a sewer.<br />
<br />
<font color="red"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Hahahahaha.”</span></font> Evil Houston Clown twirls his cowboy hat menacingly. <font color="red"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Don’t you see… It’s all part of my master plan!”</span></font> <br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Your master plan to get beat by fucking EVERYBODY ELSE?!? You haven’t won anything in, like, FOUR MONTHS. You get your ass kicked more often than Gets-His-Ass-Kicked Clown!”<br />
<br />
“And you!” Triskadekaphobia Clown points to ETBEHC, “Keep trying to challenge every other clown you come across and keep falling into obscurity more than this bozo! The two of you combined form some kind of Voltron of failure! You couldn’t sniff a championship belt let alone hold onto one and you THINK you have what it takes to be suspects!? I should whoop your asses 26 times! That’s 13 whoops each!”</font><br />
<br />
SGDC taps Triskadekaphobia Clown on the arm to calm him down.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“H-well! It seems my partner got his point across, and I feel I have come to a conclusion on the murder!”</font><br />
<br />
SGDC looks around the room, southernly!<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“None of y’all did it!”</font><br />
<br />
Gasp Clown gasps!<br />
<br />
Feint Clown feints!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #566565;" class="mycode_color">“I knew it!”</span> Says Guessed-The-Ending-to-the-Mystery-500-words-in Clown.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“None of you four are killers, because it takes a killer to be a champion. And from where I’m standing, I don’t see champions. Just four shmucks looking for glory, tryna steal it for themselves. A self-absorbed, self-proclaimed “artiste” who spits out their pacifier every other week, a droll dame too caught up in their inner-monlogue to think about doing something else and two jokers with the lamest entrance, lamest bits and most worn-out welcome I ever did see.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Then… Who killed Houston Clown and Astronaut Clown? And who stole the titles!?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Simple, who would have a reason to put us through this nightmare of guessing game and steal-the-titles to throw us two into an inane match of ladders, tables and whoopie cushions…”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown drops his cup of coffee which breaks on the floor like in that one movie, you know the one, the one with the suspects, that are usual. <br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<span style="color: #FF00FF;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Hohohoho, oopsie, did I ruin ze mystery!? How saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.”</span></span><br />
<br />
Schadenfruede Clown gives a German wink which twinkles as he and Elon share a drink on a beach, for their honeymoon, because that is a subplot going on.<br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white"><iframe width="640" height="385" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/-h1F93EJIds?fs=1&start=" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></font></td></tr></table></center>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Clown City<br />
Clown City’s Big Landing Pad, Landing Pad Town<br />
High Noon<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
Balloons!<br />
<br />
Parades!<br />
<br />
Streamers!<br />
<br />
Kazoos!<br />
<br />
Debauchery!<br />
<br />
A hero's welcome has commenced in Landing Pad Town (which is a tri-state area) within Clown City (which is a planet). Literal trillions of clowns have cramped themselves in the bustling streets to witness the return of the Tag Team Champions!<br />
<br />
Astronaut Clown & Houston Clown!<br />
<br />
We go live on the scene to Live at the Scene Clown.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Good high noon everyone, if you’re sat on your keister watching this and not here in Clownson…”</span><br />
<br />
Beside him, from beneath the frame, pops up a second clown.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #05819f;" class="mycode_color">“What the fuck is ‘here in Clownson’?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“...It’s like ‘here in person’, but for us clowns.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #05819f;" class="mycode_color">“That makes no etymological sense.”</span> Complains Pedantry Clown, <span style="color: #05819f;" class="mycode_color">“It’s not like the ‘per’ in person denotes the human aspect, it’s the entire word! It should be ‘Here in Clown’!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #92b791;" class="mycode_color">“I’m here in clown!”</span> Calls out Top Clown, amidst graphic clown-on-clown sex! <span style="color: #92b791;" class="mycode_color">“In this clown specifically!”</span> He points at his clown partner. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #40cfa4;" class="mycode_color">“It’s a living.”</span> Groans Exists-For-The-Sake-Of-This-Bit Clown.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Regardless! If you’re not here physically! Then, you must be a disgrace to clownmanity and will be dealt with!”</span><br />
<br />
We cut briefly to an overweight clown in a white tank top and rainbow wig combover who splutters his lips watching this in the comfort of his home.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e4ab74;" class="mycode_color">“Pfft! I work 9 jobs, I ain’t got times for thats! I deserves a breaks!”</span><br />
<br />
Suddenly his door is bashed open by a battering ram and his house is swarmed by clowns in black coats.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">“Zis vill not do, Oververked Clown!”</font> Says Gestapo Clown who pulls out a mauser pistol and shoots Overworked Clown in the head.<br />
<br />
The battering ram sighs whilst eating some grass, <span style="color: #6e44f3;" class="mycode_color">“It’s a living! Baaaa!!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #05819f;" class="mycode_color">“WE DID THAT JOKE ALREADY!”</span> Pedantry Clown moans! <span style="color: #05819f;" class="mycode_color">“And clownmanity suggests that that the hu- in human is…”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“So you’re more concerned about the use of the word clownmanity than the apparent existence of Nazi Clowns in the tapestry of Clown City lore.”</span><br />
<br />
…Pedantry Clown thinks about it.<br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #05819f;" class="mycode_color">“Yes.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Ugh. Feels really weird that we have those here… Oh, hold on!”</span> Live on the Scene Clown presses his finger to his earpiece.<br />
<br />
His earpiece honks.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“I’m receiving word now that… They’re not really Nazis? We didn’t have World War 2 here? And Hitler never existed so this was just a fun bit to get a shock laugh out of the people watching? And this repeating part was unnecessary?”</span><br />
<br />
Live at the Scene Clown’s eyes widen! <span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Oh, I’m receiving another word…”</span><br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.”</span><br />
<br />
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia Clown screams in horror.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Enough clownanigans, folks, time to get out your sun-blocking glasses to see the rocket enter our goofy atmosphere!”</span><br />
<br />
Every single clown puts on glasses with those dangly eyes on springs that bob up and down rhythmically. Appreciates-the-Classics Clown chuckles to himself in anticipation knowing that as soon as those glasses come off, every clown will have black circles around their eyes. He wipes away a tear, <font color="yellow">“Ha, classic.”</font><br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">ERSTWHILE</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
On the rocket ship slowly making its way back down to Clown City, Astronaut Clown places a hand on the window looking down at the approaching planet. A championship belt draped over his shoulder.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“Home. Looks so small from up here.”</span><br />
<br />
Clown City, the planet, with a cartoonish face gasps and looks down at its bra before stuffing tissue into the padding and making a sexy pose. A passing meteor sees this and grows a wolf’s face and begins howling as its eyes bulge out of its skull.<br />
<br />
The toilet flushes and Houston Clown goes to see the view and whistles, <span style="color: #fcabaf;" class="mycode_color">“Check out those melons!”</span><br />
<br />
Space Grocer Clown waves as her fruit stand sails pass the rocket.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“Yeah,”</span> Astronaut Clown remarks, <span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“She has huge tits too.”</span><br />
<br />
And two huge Space Blue Tits carry her and her fruit stand off to safety. Probably back to Bird World, (which is a city) but that's a story for never, we won’t tell it, don’t even THINK ABOUT ASKING.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #fcabaf;" class="mycode_color">“Well, kid, we did it. We got our titles from Title City, which is a planet, and we’re gonna be the most famous Clowns in Clownstory! What’s the first thing you gonna do when we get home?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“Hmm.”</span> Astronaut Clown thinks deeply, <span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“I’m probably gonna see my mom, ask my girlfriend to marry me, live in the house we’re two payments away from paying off, finally finish that novel I’ve been working on, and take my clown son out to play catch like I promised him I’d do right when I got back to Clown City.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #fcabaf;" class="mycode_color">“What a great list of things that you’re definitely going to get to do!” Houston Clown puts an arm around Astronaut Clown, “As for me, I’m getting old, I think I’m just gonna take life to the fullest, really enjoy myself! See everything there is to see. Maybe release all my secret files that implicate the highest echelons of Clown City government officials in a widespread conspiracy to consolidate power, enrich themselves, and quietly suppress the Clown people’s collective knowledge of Clown World War 2.”</span><br />
<br />
Houston Clown glances toward the camera. <span style="color: #fcabaf;" class="mycode_color">“Clown World War 2, of course, being the first Clown World War.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“Clown World of course being…”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #fcabaf;" class="mycode_color">“A township. The war was over parking.”</span><br />
<br />
Astronaut Clown claps Houston Clown on the back. <span style="color: #d87037;" class="mycode_color">“That sounds like a great idea! We’re going to live forever!”</span><br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">Elsewhere…</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Ladies and germs!”</span> Live at the Scene Clown announces, his googly glasses bobbing away, <span style="color: #851f69;" class="mycode_color">“Our heroes have broken through the atmosphere and the rocket is touching down on the big landing pad!”</span><br />
<br />
Houston Clown holds a tiny umbrella to slow the fall until the rocket lands perfectly in the center of the bullseye on the landing pad.<br />
<br />
A crazy slide with a sick loop descends from the rocket and the blast doors open to the cheers of the crowd, all of which have black circles around their eyes. Appreciates-the-Classics Clown doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t need to say anything, he just chuckles to himself.<br />
<br />
And as the doors open, two corpses slide down to the crowd.<br />
<br />
… Corpses?<br />
<br />
Oh shit, they’re dead!? THEY’RE DEAD!<br />
<br />
The crowd gasps in unison.<br />
<br />
Police Clowns quickly enter the scene and pardon the area. Triskadekaphobia Clown enters, puffing on his cigarette and ducks under the yellow tape…<br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">NOTE: Noir Clown has fallen ill, sick of shenanigans, and as such he will be played by Triskadekaphobia Clown</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Alright, nothing to see here. Clear out, you Clowns!”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown kneels down, rubbing his chin. He looks at the two dead clowns, sees a knife in each of their backs and concludes his investigation.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Natural causes. Damn shame.”</font> He squints, <font color="dodgerblue">“Hold on a minute… What’s this?”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown takes a note clutched in Astronaut Clown’s hand.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Lemme guess…”</font> A soft southern drawl breaks through the crowd as Southern Gentleman Detective Clown removes his sunglasses and looks over the bodies, <font color="orange">“There’s been a murder.”</font><br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black"><font color="white"><iframe width="640" height="385" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Oj9yMUWjtyA?fs=1&start=" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">SOUTHERN DETECTIVE CLOWN AND TRISKADEKAPHOBIA CLOWN IN…<br />
<br />
THE MYSTERY OF WHETHER THE PHRASE IS ‘here in clown’ OR ‘here in clowson’</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“That’s not what the mystery’s about!”</font><br />
<br />
…Typist Clown backspaces.<br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">THE MYSTERY OF THE THE MURDER THAT WAS OUT OF THIS WORLD</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Well, the murder definitely occurred ON this world. We saw Houston Clown use that umbrella to slow the rocket’s fall!”</font><br />
<br />
…Typist Clown exhales impatiently.<br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
He types…<br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">THE MYSTERY OF THE WORKING TITLE</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Dammit!”</font> Triskadekaphobia Clown smacks Typist Clown. <font color="dodgerblue">“We need a title now!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Damn it, man!”</font> Southern Detective Clown smacks Triskadekaphobia Clown! <font color="orange">“We don’t have time for this! There’s more pressing matters!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“You’re right.”</font> Triskadekaphobia Clown nods. He turns and smacks Beaver Clown! <font color="dodgerblue">“Dam it, man! Or that rising river will flood Clown Planet!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Which is a city!”</font><br />
<br />
Beaver Clown salutes, rushing off to gather twigs and dry branches.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Now, we move onto the SECOND-most important crisis… these two dead guys.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Let’s check that note I found clutched in Astronaut Clown's hand! Maybe with his last act, he wrote the killer's name!”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown unfurls it…<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Drat, it looks like he was interrupted halfway through writing!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Well, halfway through is better than nothing!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Also…”</font><br />
<br />
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/2YtM8dyD/5fe0a9b5-103a-450e-b7be-3bed01f5ff47.png" alt="5fe0a9b5 103a 450e b7be 3bed01f5ff47" border="0" width="500"><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“He died doing a bit.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Tarnation and hellfire! Clowns make for the worst murder victims…”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">FLASHBACK</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
Rookie Cop Clown checks a clown corpse, murdered in broad daylight!<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“The victim wrote a note!”</font><br />
<br />
Rookie Cop Clown retrieves it from his body.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Turn this over to find out who killed me.”</font><br />
<br />
Rookie Cop Clown turns it over.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Turn this over to find out who killed me.”</font><br />
<br />
Rookie Cop Clown turns it over.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Turn this ov-”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown puffs on his cigarette.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“I turned it over thirteen times before I realized Prank Clown had killed himself.”</font><br />
<br />
…He exhales smoke.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“He always said he’d have the last laugh.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Well, did that fishbowl-headed fool write anything of use? Check the back!”</font><br />
<br />
TC turns over the note.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Yes, he wrote down instructions on how to turn a dying note into a sick paper airplane.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“I meant useful to our investigation!”</font><br />
<br />
SGDC hurls the note to the ground. <br />
<br />
The note does a sick loopy-de-loop before landing.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Well, this rocket landing and returning with the belts from Title City was THE event of Clown Season!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Which is a weekend!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Surely, someone saw the murder!”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">THREE HOURS OF QUESTIONING LATER</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Clown God Dammit! Everyone was wearing those goofy googles, what with the springs that bob up and down rhythmically!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“The springs had thirteen coils. A clue.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Not every instance of the number 13 is a clue, you numerical fool! Confound it!”</font> Southern Detective Clown calls out to Clown Thor in despair! <font color="orange">“This happened in plain sight! How could no one see the murder?!?”</font><br />
<br />
A clown coughs.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #71a598;" class="mycode_color">“I saw a murder.”</span><br />
<br />
SGDC spins toward the clown! <font color="orange">“Wonderful, the killer left a witness!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #71a598;" class="mycode_color">“of crows.”</span><br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
SGDC squints, perplexed.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“So… hearing my question regarding if anyone witnessed the murder… you felt it appropriate to interject that you witnessed… a group of crows?”</font><br />
<br />
The clown nods.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #71a598;" class="mycode_color">“Yes, considering I saw them execute Houston Clown.”</span><br />
<br />
SGDC gaps! <font color="orange">“Stars and garters! You witnessed the murder commit a murder!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #71a598;" class="mycode_color">“‘s last will and testament.”</span><br />
<br />
“...”<br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown scratches his bare scalp. <font color="dodgerblue">“So. A flock of crows helped Houston Clown to amend his will?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“But hhhhhhhhWHY!?!?”</font> Ponders SGDC in a fashion that is both southern and gentlemanly.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #71a598;" class="mycode_color">“Oh, because Houston Clown wanted to update his will after he decided to leave his wife.”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“By Clown Odin’s Beard! The wife has a motive!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #71a598;" class="mycode_color">“Everything. He wanted to leave her everything in his will.”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">”DAMN YOUR MISLEADING PAUSES, MAN!”</font><br />
<br />
Misleading Pause Clown coughs.<br />
<br />
Triskadekaphibia Clown raises his hands into a T. <font color="dodgerblue">“Sorry, timeout.”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #34ab4e;" class="mycode_color">“FWOOOOOOOT!”</span> Referee Clown blows a whistle. <span style="color: #34ab4e;" class="mycode_color">“TIMEOUT! Triskadekaphobic Clown has two timeouts and a challenge remaining!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“A murder of crows... executed Houston Clown's will?”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d5385a;" class="mycode_color">“That IS odd!”</span> Legal Expert Clown, who’s been here this entire time, ponders. <span style="color: #d5385a;" class="mycode_color">“Clown City's crow murder populations usually only work in the legal profession as process servers.”</span><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
Pastrami-on-Rye Clown’s in a Clown City park, affixing a napkin to his chest, about to enjoy a pastrami-on-rye...<br />
<br />
Suddenly a murder of crows swoops down!<br />
<br />
<font color="red"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">CAAAAAAAW!</span></font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #387268;" class="mycode_color">“Aw! Get away! Get awaaaaaay!”</span><br />
<br />
P-o-RC swats at them with his sandwich! <br />
<br />
One picks it from his hands!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #387268;" class="mycode_color">“HEY!”</span><br />
<br />
The murder scatters to the skies!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #387268;" class="mycode_color">“My lunch! Ugh, could this day get worse…”</span><br />
<br />
PoRC looks at the bench and sees a bit of paperwork left behind... He picks it up and reads it...<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #387268;" class="mycode_color">“MY WIFE’S DIVORCING ME?!?”</span><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
Legal Expert Clown examines Houston Clown’s will closely…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d5385a;" class="mycode_color">“Hmm! Printed with disappearing ink, as many clown contracts are… in WingDings, yes, very funny, and thus, very legal…”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Get on with it, you fool!”</font> SGDC harumphs impatiently! <font color="orange">“Can you see any clues that would narrow down who killed the tag-team champion clowns?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“We’d also accept instances where the number thirteen is relevant.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“We absolutely would not!”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown sticks his tongue out at SGDC thirteen times.<br />
<br />
It takes a while.<br />
<br />
Every time, his tongue honks.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d5385a;" class="mycode_color">“Hmm! Aha!”</span> Legal Expert Clown points to the time. <span style="color: #d5385a;" class="mycode_color">““There! It was signed… just before the rocket landed!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Wait, so…”</font> Triskadekaphobia Clown quietly gasps. <font color="dodgerblue">“That means the murder of crows was the last person... slash entity… to meet with Houston Clown?” </font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Perhaps they witnessed something about his demeanor... a clue?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Or something related to the number thirteen.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIRTEEN.”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">One drive later to the offices of Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, Crow, and Crow: A Limited Liability Practice</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Thirteen crows…”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Oh, shuddup.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“I’ll handle this. I speak the language of thirteen crows.”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown knocks in a crowlike fashion, before opening the office door.<br />
<br />
...<br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown steps back out.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“The crows have been murdered!”</font><br />
<br />
Gasp Clown gasps.<br />
<br />
Southern Gentleman Detective Clown spits out the mint julep he just poured himself!<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“The murder was murdered?!? A murder murder!”</font><br />
<br />
TC raises a blood-covered page!<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“And look what I found under the crow's corpses! A half-completed document to merge their firm with a different thirteen-crow law firm! You know what that would have made their firm?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“...Twenty-six crows?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Double thirteen. Twice as thirteen as thirteen is.”</font><br />
<br />
TC raises a different page, covered in even more blood!<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“But, THIS document, which I found OVER the crow corpses, would have cancelled the merger over alleged perjury by a partner (of multiple crows) in the other firm who also serves as a bishop in the local crow parish reported by his attendant!”</font><br />
<br />
Fainting Clown faints into Gasp Clown’s arms mid-gasp.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“The murder murder was over a murder merger that was scourged over perjury by a murder clergy by the urging of a verger!!?!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“That's a Tongue Twister.”</font><br />
<br />
Board Game Clown raises a box containing Tongue Twister.<br />
<br />
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/BKFWqjMY/57e0c6c3-e3c3-45da-b78e-5d99bbb6741d.png" alt="57e0c6c3 e3c3 45da b78e 5d99bbb6741d" border="0" width="500"><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Not now, Board Game Clown.”</font><br />
<br />
Board Game Clown sadly puts away Tongue Twister.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Dash it all.”</font> Southern Gentleman Detective Clown strokes his chin, which honks as he strokes. <font color="orange">“It feels like we have all the pieces to the puzzle to solve this mystery… Crows, wills, clowns… but they don’t fit together.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“You’re ignoring the big picture. The number thirteen i-”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Sir, if you bring up the number thirteen again, I will personally kick your ass thirteen times up and down Clown Avenue.”</font><br />
<br />
Southern Gentleman Detective Clown puffs his pipe.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Which is a country.”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown sneers irritatedly. <font color="dodgerblue">“I shouldn’t have agreed to a partner. I work best alone.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Even when playing Tongue Twister?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Especially when playing Tongue Twister.”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown spins a wheel.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/6J0dCbqw/86f28f28-37db-4c63-ba57-e57e06b2a055.png" alt="86f28f28 37db 4c63 ba57 e57e06b2a055" border="0"  width="500"><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Hmm, right tongue blue.”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown presses the right side of his tongue to a blue space on the Tongue Twister game mat.<br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Andth I’m the lath player tho… I winth.”<br />
<br />
“Thish is the besh birthay ether.”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
SGDC rolls his eyes so hard they spin around like marbles.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“That’s not even how you play Tongue Twister! The box clearly says TWO players or more! An-”</font><br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“...Wait! That’s it! The number! That’s the key!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Exactly! Thirteen!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“No, you single-minded MUPPET. Two! Don’t you see? Houston Clown AND Astronaut Clown were murdered together! They both had belts from Title City. And those belts are gone!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Right. Some freak’s enjoying those ill-gotten belts. Probably going to eat them as we Clowns typically consume belts.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“That is true and officially part of Clown City lore. But, NOT some freak. Some FREAKS! Plural!”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown gasps.<br />
<br />
Gasp Clown squints. <font color="white">“Stay in your lane, asshole.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“So, you’re saying we’re not looking for one killer… we’re looking for TWO! The difference between one and three! The answer was staring me in the face the whole time! Thirteen!”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“One slight correction, my number-obsessed colleague… we’re no longer looking. The suspects are right under our nose! Now it’s a matter of ACCUSING!”</font><br />
<br />
SGDC points skyward!<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“To the Accusing Slash Trash Talk Parlor Room!”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">AND NOW…<br />
<br />
FOR ACCUSING AND/OR TRASH TALK</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
Southern Gentleman Detective Clown paces before two suspects.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Now,  you two know why we’ve gathered you here.”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7e6a76;" class="mycode_color">“To play Tongue Twister?”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“YOU GET OUTTA HERE, BOARD GAME CLOWN!”</font><br />
<br />
Boot! SGDC kicks BGC in the A-S-S to send him O-U-T.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Anyway, you two had motive… opportunity… and the desire…”<br />
<br />
“TO MURDER THE CLOWN TAG CHAMPS AND STEAL THEIR BELTS?!?”</font><br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
Gasp Clown looks from his newspaper to see everyone looking at him.<br />
<br />
<font color="white">“Oh sorry. Ahem…”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="font-size: 36pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">GASP!</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Let’s start with Humorless Bitch Clown.”</font><br />
<br />
A very hip-looking clown in a beret dressed in all black clutches her pearls.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“Eck-SCUSE me! I’m Artiste Clown! I create aaaaaaart!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Humorless Bitch Clown, you enjoy creating large-scale pieces of performance art that offend and shock!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“Yes! That’s what art is! If you take comfort or enjoy what I’m doing, that’s not real art! Art should PISS YOU OFF!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Yes, you loooooove boundary-pushing expressions. Unless of course the expression pushes your boundaries.”</font><br />
<br />
Artiste Clown sneers in disgust!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“Ugh! I hate that! I hate when I don’t like things! That should be illegal!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Like when you spent weeks attacking other artists and challenging them to art contests in your art studio!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“It was a BOLD EXAMINATION of art itself! Competition! DRAMA! FORCING Art on the less talented!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“But then when Fat Stupid Idiot Clown attacked YOU and challenged YOU to an art contest, you acted like it was totally uncalled for.”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“Of course! Because who would do something like that?”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“...YOU would! You did!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“YOU DON’T GET IT! When I piss people off, it’s funny and le trolling! I’m a master of mind games! BUT! When other people piss me off, it’s annoying and toxic!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“...This is just fascinating.”</font> Southern Gentleman Detective Clown strokes his chin thoughtfully, before reaching into his pocket. <font color="orange">“Hold on, I want to try something…”</font><br />
<br />
He fishes around in his pocket, eventually retrieving…<br />
<br />
A mirror.<br />
<br />
He holds it up to Artiste Clown’s face.<br />
<br />
She squints angrily.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“Who the fuck is this loud obnoxious bitch? Someone should call HER Humorless Bitch Clown!”</span><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobic Clown squints. <font color="dodgerblue">“What the hell’s wrong with her? She can’t recognize herself?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“As I suspected. This Clown was born without a sense of self-awareness.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“So… could she kill a clown… and not be aware it’s wrong?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“I mean, wouldn’t be the first time, she killed her three friends in a drunk driving accident!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #7d2681;" class="mycode_color">“Drunk Driving IS art! A populated crosswalk is my canvas… And my brush is a 1992 Nissan Stanza.”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Moving on… to Suspect #2: Introspective Self-Narration Clown!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #797e30;" class="mycode_color">“I stood at the precipice of the abyss in the pouring rain as the casket was slowly lowered into the gaping maw that is a funeral plot.”<br />
<br />
“Two clowns were dead. Heroes of their time… champions even.”<br />
<br />
“As Astronaut Clown was lowered into the Earth, his pants fell around his ankles one last time.”<br />
<br />
“I wept weepingly when I realized a belt would have held them up.”<br />
<br />
“A belt being what he won. A belt being why he died.”<br />
<br />
“Ironic.”<br />
<br />
“Like rain on your wedding day.”<br />
<br />
“Except instead of a wedding, it’s a funeral. And instead of rain, it’s a dead clown.”<br />
<br />
“Like ten thousand spoons, when what you actually need is ten thousand and ONE spoons!”<br />
<br />
“It’s lik-”</span><br />
<br />
SGDC raises his hand. <font color="orange">“I’m… I’m gonna stop you there. You can sit down now, we’re just… we’re moving on from you.”</font><br />
<br />
Introspective Self-Narration Clown sits back down.<br />
<br />
When she sits back down, she sits down on a photo.<br />
<br />
Gasp! The photo is of a young girl clown with hair like ISNC! With an older clown! Gasp! Could that be her…<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“No, no! That’s enough! Thank you, we get it! We’re moving on.”</font><br />
<br />
SGDC shakes his head. <font color="orange">“As great a mystery as this murder is… an even greater conundrum is these two loud pretentious dame clowns and the curious case of who gives a fuck!"</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“They don’t seem the type to share a room let alone a well-executed murder! And besides, if they did do it, Humorless Bitch Clown surely wouldn’t shut up about it! Or left a clear coiled turd as evidence whilst Introspective Self-Narration Clown detailed every small detail in her signature style of a toddler’s first poem!”</font><br />
<br />
SGDC puts a finger to his lips, thinking for a moment before turning to Triskadekaphobia Clown.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“These two wanted the titles for themselves but I doubt they did it, it just doesn’t add up. Committing to something seems like the last thing they’d ever do.”</font><br />
<br />
A slow clap.<br />
<br />
Followed by slow honks.<br />
<br />
As two clowns enter the room. Slowly!<br />
<br />
<font color="red"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Well, well, well, looks like you solved the case, detective!”</span></font><br />
<br />
A strange half-burned clown stands there smugly next to another clown whose pants fall down.<br />
<br />
SGDC and Triskadekaphobia Clown glance at one another.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Who are you guys?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="red"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“HA! Don’t play dumb, fools! Tis I! EVIL HOUSTON CLOWN and my comically foolish henchman, Easily-Tricked-By-The-Director-Clown, AKA Easily-Tricked-By-Evil-Houston Clown!”</span></font><br />
<br />
ETBEHC waves, [nickleman]“It’s a living!”[/nickleman]<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Okay,”</font> Triskadekaphobia Clown puts up a palm, <font color="dodgerblue">“Timeout.”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #34ab4e;" class="mycode_color">“FWWOOT!”</span> Referee Clown blows his whistle, <span style="color: #34ab4e;" class="mycode_color">““Triskadekaphobia Clown has 1 timeout and 1 challenge remaining.”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“No one cares about you guys! We didn’t even bother putting you on the suspect list! I thought you died, honestly! You fucking suck!”</font><br />
<br />
Evil Houston Clown frowns, sticking out his bottom lip, then his pants fall down.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“You failed at beating Houston Clown and Astronaut Clown! You haven’t done anything of note in months! You made it your life mission to get revenge on some schmuck and he’s doing great now while you’re literally doing nothing! Everyone on Clown City-”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Which is a planet.”</font><br />
<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“-Literally forgot you existed! You are single-handedly the most pathetic clown to ever exist! And Norm Grekin lives here!”</font><br />
<br />
Former NBA player Norm Grekin, who’s ALSO been here all along, turns shocked! <span style="color: #897727;" class="mycode_color">“Hey! I’m not pathetic!”</span><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown twirls his finger.<br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Challenge.”</font><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">ONE CAREER REVIEW LATER</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
Referee Clown takes off his headphones and looks into the camera.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #34ab4e;" class="mycode_color">“After review… Norm Grekin IS pathetic.”</span><br />
<br />
#897727“Shucks!”[/color] Grekin double-dribbles a can down the street.<br />
<br />
It hits his foot and goes down a sewer.<br />
<br />
<font color="red"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Hahahahaha.”</span></font> Evil Houston Clown twirls his cowboy hat menacingly. <font color="red"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Don’t you see… It’s all part of my master plan!”</span></font> <br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Your master plan to get beat by fucking EVERYBODY ELSE?!? You haven’t won anything in, like, FOUR MONTHS. You get your ass kicked more often than Gets-His-Ass-Kicked Clown!”<br />
<br />
“And you!” Triskadekaphobia Clown points to ETBEHC, “Keep trying to challenge every other clown you come across and keep falling into obscurity more than this bozo! The two of you combined form some kind of Voltron of failure! You couldn’t sniff a championship belt let alone hold onto one and you THINK you have what it takes to be suspects!? I should whoop your asses 26 times! That’s 13 whoops each!”</font><br />
<br />
SGDC taps Triskadekaphobia Clown on the arm to calm him down.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“H-well! It seems my partner got his point across, and I feel I have come to a conclusion on the murder!”</font><br />
<br />
SGDC looks around the room, southernly!<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“None of y’all did it!”</font><br />
<br />
Gasp Clown gasps!<br />
<br />
Feint Clown feints!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #566565;" class="mycode_color">“I knew it!”</span> Says Guessed-The-Ending-to-the-Mystery-500-words-in Clown.<br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“None of you four are killers, because it takes a killer to be a champion. And from where I’m standing, I don’t see champions. Just four shmucks looking for glory, tryna steal it for themselves. A self-absorbed, self-proclaimed “artiste” who spits out their pacifier every other week, a droll dame too caught up in their inner-monlogue to think about doing something else and two jokers with the lamest entrance, lamest bits and most worn-out welcome I ever did see.”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">“Then… Who killed Houston Clown and Astronaut Clown? And who stole the titles!?”</font><br />
<br />
<font color="orange">“Simple, who would have a reason to put us through this nightmare of guessing game and steal-the-titles to throw us two into an inane match of ladders, tables and whoopie cushions…”</font><br />
<br />
Triskadekaphobia Clown drops his cup of coffee which breaks on the floor like in that one movie, you know the one, the one with the suspects, that are usual. <br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<span style="color: #FF00FF;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Hohohoho, oopsie, did I ruin ze mystery!? How saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.”</span></span><br />
<br />
Schadenfruede Clown gives a German wink which twinkles as he and Elon share a drink on a beach, for their honeymoon, because that is a subplot going on.<br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white"><iframe width="640" height="385" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/-h1F93EJIds?fs=1&start=" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></font></td></tr></table></center>]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Fair Game]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50295</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 18 Jul 2026 20:11:37 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=3148">Frances Marigold</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50295</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="gold" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black"><font color="white">California State Fair</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
The sun settles behind the Ferris wheel, surrendering the sky to a thousand blinking lights. <br />
<br />
Carnival barkers shout over one another.<br />
<br />
Children scream from rides.<br />
<br />
The smell of fried food drifts through the fairgrounds alongside the calliopes.<br />
<br />
Teenagers waste money chasing stuffed prizes.<br />
<br />
A little girl cries over a melted ice cream.<br />
<br />
Life.<br />
<br />
“Three throws! Five dollars! Win yourself a prize”<br />
<br />
A scruffy boy stops beneath a game booth and squints up at the grand prize hanging overhead.<br />
<br />
A stuffed black cat equipped with muscles, a championship belt, pink ears… Breasts?<br />
<br />
“What kind of goofy shit is that?”<br />
<br />
The attendant recoils, <br />
<br />
“Quite the mouth you’ve got there, kid.”<br />
<br />
“Yeah, yeah, sorry <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">dad</span>…” <br />
<br />
The kids’ eyes drift across the midway.<br />
<br />
Children run past wearing cat masks.<br />
<br />
An airbrush artist paints the same black cat onto the back of a teenagers denim jacket, carefully adding the words MISS FURRY beneath it.<br />
<br />
The kid wrinkles his nose.<br />
<br />
“...quite the racket you’ve got here.”<br />
<br />
“it ain’t a racket…” The attendant scoffs “XWF’s in town. Big pay-per-view this weekend in Frisco. Folks are eatin’ it up”<br />
<br />
“Hm. Lame.”<br />
<br />
“You gonna play, or you just here to complain?”<br />
<br />
“Fine.”<br />
<br />
The kid digs into his pocket.<br />
<br />
“You break a twenty?”<br />
<br />
A crisp bill lands on the counter.<br />
<br />
The attendant grins as he opens the cash drawer.<br />
<br />
“Sure can.<br />
<br />
One..<br />
<br />
Five…<br />
<br />
Ten…<br />
<br />
Fifteen.”<br />
<br />
His attention never leaves the register.<br />
<br />
But kid’s attention never leaves the counter.<br />
<br />
By the time the attendant closes the drawer, the twenty has disappeared. A single dollar-bill sits exactly where it had been.<br />
<br />
The attendant never notices.<br />
<br />
The kid slips the change into his pocket before the three baseballs ever reach the counter.<br />
<br />
He only needed one.<br />
<br />
CRACK!<br />
<br />
The first throw obliterates the stacked cans.<br />
<br />
The attendant stares in disbelief<br />
<br />
“...well, I’ll be damned.”<br />
<br />
The kid shrugs.<br />
<br />
“Gimmie the stupid cat wrestler I guess.”<br />
<br />
The attendant reluctantly reaches overhead and wrestles the oversized stuffed cat from its hook. <br />
<br />
The kid reaches up to grab it… but another hand grabs it first.<br />
<br />
The hand is old. Scarred. Busted across the knuckles.<br />
<br />
The kid immediately turns<br />
<br />
“Hey jerk!”<br />
<br />
The old man looks down at the stuffed cat, then back at the kid…<br />
<br />
A smile creases the weathered face beneath an old ball cap<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Sorry…</font><br />
<br />
The kid notices the scars.<br />
<br />
Then the busted nose.<br />
<br />
Then the glossy eyes.<br />
<br />
Frances Marigold. <br />
<br />
He lets the stuffed cat go.<br />
<br />
“You wanna buy it? 20 bucks its yours”<br />
<br />
“HEY!” The attendant protests,<br />
<br />
Frances shakes his head no,<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Just figured it’d have more heft to it.</font><br />
<br />
“Yep. Total rip-off.” The kid agrees “...I take it you’re not a wrestling fan either.”<br />
<br />
Frances studies the cat for another second. He looks at the stitching.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Seems well made…</font> he feels it with his hand again <font color="red">But funny how somethin' can look heavy from a distance.</font><br />
<br />
“That ain’t what I asked, mister!”<br />
<br />
Frances looks up from the stuffed cat and smiles faintly.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Didn’t say it was</font><br />
<br />
The kid blinks.<br />
<br />
“...Then why’re you answering questions I ain’t askin?”<br />
<br />
Frances turns the stuffed cat over once more before handing it back,<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Old habit, I reckon.</font><br />
<br />
The kid hugs the oversized prize under his arm,<br />
<br />
“So you don’t watch wrestling?”<br />
<br />
Frances shrugs,<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Sometimes</font><br />
<br />
“That cat lady’s somebody important?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Guess so.</font><br />
<br />
“Whole fair’s covered in ‘er”<br />
<br />
Frances nods toward the crowd.<br />
<br />
The kid studies him<br />
<br />
“...You always talk like somebody forgot half the conversation?”<br />
<br />
Frances chuckles,<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Only the parts I’m sure about.</font><br />
<br />
The kid isn’t sure whether to laugh or to roll his eyes<br />
<br />
Instead…<br />
<br />
“Whats your name?”<br />
<br />
Frances wipes one thumb across a scar on his knuckle,<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Frances.</font><br />
<br />
“Just Frances?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Mostly</font><br />
<br />
“Mostly?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Sometimes people add the rest whether I ask ‘em to or not.</font><br />
<br />
The kid squints.<br />
<br />
“...You’re weird. And Frances is a girls name”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Been told.</font><br />
<br />
The attendant leans over the counter<br />
<br />
“You seriously don’t know who he is?’<br />
<br />
The kid shrugs,<br />
<br />
“Should I?”<br />
<br />
The attendant stares, then points.<br />
<br />
“That’s Frances Marigold.”<br />
<br />
The kid blinks slowly,<br />
<br />
“He’s the guy who’s wrestling Miss Furry this weekend”<br />
<br />
“You’re a wrestler?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Sometimes.</font><br />
<br />
The kid looks from Frances to the stuffed Miss Furry tucked under his arm<br />
<br />
“...ain’t that…”<br />
<br />
He glances up at the booth<br />
<br />
“...her?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Looks like it.</font><br />
<br />
“So…” he lifts the stuffed cat, “...you gonna’ whip her ass?”<br />
<br />
Frances’ eyes linger on the toy.<br />
<br />
The stitched smile.<br />
<br />
The tiny championship belt.<br />
<br />
He smiles to himself,<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Don’t know yet.</font><br />
<br />
The kid stares at him,<br />
<br />
“What d’you mean you don’t know?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Ain’t met her.</font><br />
<br />
“You’re fighting somebody you’ve never met?”<br />
<br />
Frances tips his cap just enough to look out across the fairgrounds.<br />
<br />
Families.<br />
<br />
Laughter.<br />
<br />
Music.<br />
<br />
Life.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Everybody's somebody 'fore they become an opponent</font><br />
<br />
The kid snorts.<br />
<br />
“That sounds like a good way to get punched”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Usually is.</font><br />
<br />
“...then why do it?”<br />
<br />
Frances watches a little girl run past wearing a pair of cheap plastic cat ears, laughing so hard she nearly trips over her own feet.<br />
<br />
Her father catches her before she hits the ground.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Most folks spend too much time meetin’ the version of somebody everybody else built for em’</font><br />
<br />
The kid frowns<br />
<br />
“What?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">They hear stories.<br />
<br />
Read headlines.<br />
<br />
Figure they’ve already met em.</font><br />
<br />
He looks down at the stuffed cat.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Maybe she’s exactly what everybody says she is.<br />
<br />
Maybe she ain’t</font><br />
<br />
The kid frowns,<br />
<br />
"So... you really don't know nothin' about her?"<br />
<br />
<font color="red">I know a little.</font><br />
<br />
"What?"<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Seems like she spent a long time tryin' to become who she wanted to be.</font><br />
<br />
The kid shrugged.<br />
<br />
"So?"<br />
<br />
Frances watches another child run past<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Ain't nothin' wrong with that.<br />
<br />
Just ain't enough to tell me who she'll be when the bell rings.</font><br />
<br />
"So... how're you supposed to know?"<br />
<br />
Frances starts walking.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Stand across from 'em. <br />
<br />
Look 'em in the eye.</font><br />
<br />
Another step.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">See what survives the introductions...<br />
<br />
It's all fair game after that.</font> <br />
<br />
The kid watches him disappear into the current of the fairgrounds before looking back down at the oversized stuffed cat.<br />
<br />
"...Huh."<br />
<br />
For the first time...<br />
<br />
It felt a little heavier.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="gold" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black"><font color="white">California State Fair</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
The sun settles behind the Ferris wheel, surrendering the sky to a thousand blinking lights. <br />
<br />
Carnival barkers shout over one another.<br />
<br />
Children scream from rides.<br />
<br />
The smell of fried food drifts through the fairgrounds alongside the calliopes.<br />
<br />
Teenagers waste money chasing stuffed prizes.<br />
<br />
A little girl cries over a melted ice cream.<br />
<br />
Life.<br />
<br />
“Three throws! Five dollars! Win yourself a prize”<br />
<br />
A scruffy boy stops beneath a game booth and squints up at the grand prize hanging overhead.<br />
<br />
A stuffed black cat equipped with muscles, a championship belt, pink ears… Breasts?<br />
<br />
“What kind of goofy shit is that?”<br />
<br />
The attendant recoils, <br />
<br />
“Quite the mouth you’ve got there, kid.”<br />
<br />
“Yeah, yeah, sorry <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">dad</span>…” <br />
<br />
The kids’ eyes drift across the midway.<br />
<br />
Children run past wearing cat masks.<br />
<br />
An airbrush artist paints the same black cat onto the back of a teenagers denim jacket, carefully adding the words MISS FURRY beneath it.<br />
<br />
The kid wrinkles his nose.<br />
<br />
“...quite the racket you’ve got here.”<br />
<br />
“it ain’t a racket…” The attendant scoffs “XWF’s in town. Big pay-per-view this weekend in Frisco. Folks are eatin’ it up”<br />
<br />
“Hm. Lame.”<br />
<br />
“You gonna play, or you just here to complain?”<br />
<br />
“Fine.”<br />
<br />
The kid digs into his pocket.<br />
<br />
“You break a twenty?”<br />
<br />
A crisp bill lands on the counter.<br />
<br />
The attendant grins as he opens the cash drawer.<br />
<br />
“Sure can.<br />
<br />
One..<br />
<br />
Five…<br />
<br />
Ten…<br />
<br />
Fifteen.”<br />
<br />
His attention never leaves the register.<br />
<br />
But kid’s attention never leaves the counter.<br />
<br />
By the time the attendant closes the drawer, the twenty has disappeared. A single dollar-bill sits exactly where it had been.<br />
<br />
The attendant never notices.<br />
<br />
The kid slips the change into his pocket before the three baseballs ever reach the counter.<br />
<br />
He only needed one.<br />
<br />
CRACK!<br />
<br />
The first throw obliterates the stacked cans.<br />
<br />
The attendant stares in disbelief<br />
<br />
“...well, I’ll be damned.”<br />
<br />
The kid shrugs.<br />
<br />
“Gimmie the stupid cat wrestler I guess.”<br />
<br />
The attendant reluctantly reaches overhead and wrestles the oversized stuffed cat from its hook. <br />
<br />
The kid reaches up to grab it… but another hand grabs it first.<br />
<br />
The hand is old. Scarred. Busted across the knuckles.<br />
<br />
The kid immediately turns<br />
<br />
“Hey jerk!”<br />
<br />
The old man looks down at the stuffed cat, then back at the kid…<br />
<br />
A smile creases the weathered face beneath an old ball cap<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Sorry…</font><br />
<br />
The kid notices the scars.<br />
<br />
Then the busted nose.<br />
<br />
Then the glossy eyes.<br />
<br />
Frances Marigold. <br />
<br />
He lets the stuffed cat go.<br />
<br />
“You wanna buy it? 20 bucks its yours”<br />
<br />
“HEY!” The attendant protests,<br />
<br />
Frances shakes his head no,<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Just figured it’d have more heft to it.</font><br />
<br />
“Yep. Total rip-off.” The kid agrees “...I take it you’re not a wrestling fan either.”<br />
<br />
Frances studies the cat for another second. He looks at the stitching.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Seems well made…</font> he feels it with his hand again <font color="red">But funny how somethin' can look heavy from a distance.</font><br />
<br />
“That ain’t what I asked, mister!”<br />
<br />
Frances looks up from the stuffed cat and smiles faintly.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Didn’t say it was</font><br />
<br />
The kid blinks.<br />
<br />
“...Then why’re you answering questions I ain’t askin?”<br />
<br />
Frances turns the stuffed cat over once more before handing it back,<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Old habit, I reckon.</font><br />
<br />
The kid hugs the oversized prize under his arm,<br />
<br />
“So you don’t watch wrestling?”<br />
<br />
Frances shrugs,<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Sometimes</font><br />
<br />
“That cat lady’s somebody important?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Guess so.</font><br />
<br />
“Whole fair’s covered in ‘er”<br />
<br />
Frances nods toward the crowd.<br />
<br />
The kid studies him<br />
<br />
“...You always talk like somebody forgot half the conversation?”<br />
<br />
Frances chuckles,<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Only the parts I’m sure about.</font><br />
<br />
The kid isn’t sure whether to laugh or to roll his eyes<br />
<br />
Instead…<br />
<br />
“Whats your name?”<br />
<br />
Frances wipes one thumb across a scar on his knuckle,<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Frances.</font><br />
<br />
“Just Frances?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Mostly</font><br />
<br />
“Mostly?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Sometimes people add the rest whether I ask ‘em to or not.</font><br />
<br />
The kid squints.<br />
<br />
“...You’re weird. And Frances is a girls name”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Been told.</font><br />
<br />
The attendant leans over the counter<br />
<br />
“You seriously don’t know who he is?’<br />
<br />
The kid shrugs,<br />
<br />
“Should I?”<br />
<br />
The attendant stares, then points.<br />
<br />
“That’s Frances Marigold.”<br />
<br />
The kid blinks slowly,<br />
<br />
“He’s the guy who’s wrestling Miss Furry this weekend”<br />
<br />
“You’re a wrestler?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Sometimes.</font><br />
<br />
The kid looks from Frances to the stuffed Miss Furry tucked under his arm<br />
<br />
“...ain’t that…”<br />
<br />
He glances up at the booth<br />
<br />
“...her?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Looks like it.</font><br />
<br />
“So…” he lifts the stuffed cat, “...you gonna’ whip her ass?”<br />
<br />
Frances’ eyes linger on the toy.<br />
<br />
The stitched smile.<br />
<br />
The tiny championship belt.<br />
<br />
He smiles to himself,<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Don’t know yet.</font><br />
<br />
The kid stares at him,<br />
<br />
“What d’you mean you don’t know?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Ain’t met her.</font><br />
<br />
“You’re fighting somebody you’ve never met?”<br />
<br />
Frances tips his cap just enough to look out across the fairgrounds.<br />
<br />
Families.<br />
<br />
Laughter.<br />
<br />
Music.<br />
<br />
Life.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Everybody's somebody 'fore they become an opponent</font><br />
<br />
The kid snorts.<br />
<br />
“That sounds like a good way to get punched”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Usually is.</font><br />
<br />
“...then why do it?”<br />
<br />
Frances watches a little girl run past wearing a pair of cheap plastic cat ears, laughing so hard she nearly trips over her own feet.<br />
<br />
Her father catches her before she hits the ground.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Most folks spend too much time meetin’ the version of somebody everybody else built for em’</font><br />
<br />
The kid frowns<br />
<br />
“What?”<br />
<br />
<font color="red">They hear stories.<br />
<br />
Read headlines.<br />
<br />
Figure they’ve already met em.</font><br />
<br />
He looks down at the stuffed cat.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Maybe she’s exactly what everybody says she is.<br />
<br />
Maybe she ain’t</font><br />
<br />
The kid frowns,<br />
<br />
"So... you really don't know nothin' about her?"<br />
<br />
<font color="red">I know a little.</font><br />
<br />
"What?"<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Seems like she spent a long time tryin' to become who she wanted to be.</font><br />
<br />
The kid shrugged.<br />
<br />
"So?"<br />
<br />
Frances watches another child run past<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Ain't nothin' wrong with that.<br />
<br />
Just ain't enough to tell me who she'll be when the bell rings.</font><br />
<br />
"So... how're you supposed to know?"<br />
<br />
Frances starts walking.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">Stand across from 'em. <br />
<br />
Look 'em in the eye.</font><br />
<br />
Another step.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">See what survives the introductions...<br />
<br />
It's all fair game after that.</font> <br />
<br />
The kid watches him disappear into the current of the fairgrounds before looking back down at the oversized stuffed cat.<br />
<br />
"...Huh."<br />
<br />
For the first time...<br />
<br />
It felt a little heavier.]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[VILARO RECALL]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50293</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 18 Jul 2026 00:00:13 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=3090">Marisol Vilaro</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50293</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eQB0V_W085XJJaBYYI7BvRySQsjnPQkfhiI00IhJc58/edit?usp=sharing" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="mycode_url">https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eQB0...sp=sharing</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eQB0V_W085XJJaBYYI7BvRySQsjnPQkfhiI00IhJc58/edit?usp=sharing" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="mycode_url">https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eQB0...sp=sharing</a>]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Shangri-La]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50292</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jul 2026 23:57:00 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=2493">Charlie Nickles</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50292</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: left;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffffff;" class="mycode_color">SUNDAY NIGHT<br />
FIVE MINUTES BEFORE SHOWTIME<br />
</span><br />
</span><br />
The pressure melted once the door slammed shut. All the expectation, all the spotlights, all the <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">noise</span> from tonight’s soldout crowd: just faded away once Charlie pressed in the bathroom’s lock. The Nickleman took a deep sigh of relief before reaching into his pocket and feeling for his salvation.<br />
<br />
Or rather- <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Fiending for it.</span><br />
<br />
His palms clutched the glass, carefully lifting it from his jeans before setting it upon the bathroom sink. Charlie then retrieved his bag and a lighter just as gingerly. The Nickleman set his prized possessions out side-by-side, licking his lips with anticipation. <br />
<br />
This was the Bad Medicine he had been looking forward to all day. The Bad Medicine he would enjoy for as long as the bag lasted.<br />
<br />
Charlie Nickles had discovered his Shangri-La years ago: <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Inside the bowl of a crack pipe.</span><br />
<br />
And ever since Charlie lost his sister, he’d been soaring with those angels on the daily. But don’t you dare feel an ounce of sorrow for this dastardly Nickleman: because truth be told, Jennie Nickles downfall was all his fault.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">And even he knows it.</span><br />
<br />
He feels that ugly truth in his bones: that’s why he has to numb them beyond belief. Because that’s the only way Charlie can walk out to the ring without being weighed down by his regrets. It was a truth Charlie fought hard to suppress: but would soon be forced to confront. <br />
<br />
Charlie’s gaze shifts up from the glass to the glass: from his trusty pipe into the streaky bathroom mirror. He couldn’t believe the reflection he saw staring back. Was that really him? With the leathery skin, the jittery jaw, and the abscesses scratched into his face? Charlie could hardly recognize The Nickleman he saw on the other side of the glass.<br />
 <br />
But when Charlie looked down at the glass on the sink, he recognized his deliverance immediately. Idle hands are the devil’s work, and whilst Charlie was mindlessly staring into the mirror, his hands had been busy breaking down a rock into the bowl. The act had become so second-nature to Charlie, that sometimes, he didn’t even realize he was doing it.<br />
<br />
Don’t call it an addiction. Charlie considered it a <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">miracle</span>...<br />
<br />
That somehow, someway, a few hits of crack cocaine could fill the emptiness in his heart. <br />
<br />
His Bad Medicine worked everytime…<br />
<br />
Until it finally didn’t. <br />
<br />
The flames grew higher as Charlie flicked the bic, his body slumping against the bathroom wall in a classic fenty lean. He inhaled one hit of salvation after the other, each puff leaving his mind cloudier than the last. Charlie thought that cloudy feeling meant he was floating into heaven: but in reality, he was sinking deeper into his own personal hell.  <br />
<br />
Deeper than he ever dared go. <br />
<br />
A hazy fog filled the room, clouding Charlie’s vision. But he didn’t need to see to be healed: he just had to feel. And feel it he did: spreading from his chest into his left arm. A strange sort of numbness, the same tingling feeling that was suddenly overtaking one side of his face. The glass pipe slipped out of his clammy hands, shattering when it reached the ground. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Oh, FFFFffffffffuu-”</span><br />
<br />
The floor where Charlie lay grew wet and slimy. His body went into a cold sweat, shivering and shaking, as the dark fog began to overwhelm his senses. In the back of his mind, Charlie heard the voice of an angel calling him. Not just one angel. It was a quartet of heavenly voices, each singing their own melodic song just for him. <br />
<br />
Or rather…<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">about</span> him. It was a difference Charlie couldn’t yet understand: but soon would.<br />
<br />
Charlie stretched his arm blindly, trying to reach out for the hands of those serene voices in his ear. But all he could feel was the glass. The shards of Charlie’s pipe crunched beneath the weight of his grief, slicing his hands over and over again as he tried to pick up the pieces of his broken life. Because some mistakes can never be fixed. They can only make you <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">hurt</span>. Although Charlie couldn’t feel the pain from his bleeding lacerations, since his hands felt like they were filled with sand. It was a creeping sensation slowly spreading across his body. <br />
<br />
It was a sad sight to behold. A former Universal Champion, the greatest TV Champion of all time, and a cofounder of BOB: all overdosing on a dirty floor at the same time. <br />
<br />
Yet sadder still were the crying moans of the lost angels. Their beautiful shrieks of woe filled Charlie with a vibrant joy he had not felt in years. The horrid screams of those banshees gave Charlie a reason to fight through the nothingness slowly consuming him. <br />
<br />
Charlie stretched his arm blindly, reaching out once more for the hands of those squealing wraiths: and this time, all he could feel was the glass. Charlie lifted himself to a standing position with the help of the porcelain sink, wobbling on his feet as he maintained an unsteady gait in front of the mirror. <br />
<br />
The blood-curdling screams grew louder once the women spotted Charlie’s weathered face. He was staring at them through the glass, licking his lips even as the life was draining from his face. <br />
<br />
The women’s faces flashed in quick succession across the glass, looking more battered and bloodied with every reappearance. Charlie fought as hard as he could to raise a bloody hand up to the mirror, placing it gingerly upon the flashing images of his handiwork. <br />
 <br />
Until a new, untouched face suddenly flashed in the mirror.<br />
<br />
And the screams stopped. <br />
<br />
The silence was only broken when- <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Jennie?”</span><br />
<br />
The Nickleman spoke softly. The woman in the mirror smiled, nodding politely-<br />
<br />
Before streaks of blood began raining down her skull!<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“JENNIE!”</span><br />
<br />
Charlie reached towards the mirror instinctively, as if he were trying to pull his sister out from the other side-<br />
<br />
Something truly impossible-<br />
<br />
Something he should have thought twice about.<br />
<br />
Because when Charlie reached out for the glass-<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">It reached back.</span><br />
<br />
Bloody hand in bloody hand, Jennie pulled Charlie across to the other side: into the deepest recesses of his own mind. Charlie chirped with surprise as he was pulled into the mirror, catching a sight most peculiar from out the corner of his eye. <br />
<br />
It was his own body, laying still and slumped against the bathroom wall. <br />
</div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">I don’t drink anymore. <br />
<br />
Alcohol just doesn’t do it for me these days.<br />
<br />
My sorrows are too deep to drown. <br />
<br />
I don’t need liquid courage flowing through my veins: I’m man enough to fight my demons without it. <br />
<br />
But Samael Dyson? <br />
<br />
He’s the Smirnoff Ice of X-treme. He can’t fuck anyone up- and at best, he’s a cheap imitation of the real thing. <br />
<br />
His dyed hair, his slender frame: this attention-seeking edgelord doesn’t belong in a wrestling ring. He belongs in a High School Musical. <br />
<br />
He could play the emo kid who freaks out when the Razor Blade actually cuts him!<br />
<br />
Because little Sami likes his violence as an AESTHETIC: but it’s not his reality. <br />
<br />
It never has been. It never will be. <br />
<br />
Because Maddy Dyson’s baby-boy, her sweet prince of privilege, was born into this world with a silver-spoon stuck up his ass. <br />
<br />
He didn’t have to fight for his spot in this company like I did. My whore mother wasn’t able to ‘make a lane’ for me in the XWF. I had to carve out my own path to the Universal Championship, leaving behind a trail of broken bodies as I rose to the top. <br />
<br />
But baby Dyson’s been on the roster for 9 months now, and he hasn’t broken no-body.<br />
<br />
Lil’ Sami’s sprint towards a briefcase? Has been laughable at best. If beating Dickie Watson earns you a briefcase, I should be expecting one in the mail any day now. If beating Jenny Myst earns you a briefcase, I should have about 3 or 4 of them. If losing Universal Championship matches qualifies you for a briefcase…..I should have another five or six. <br />
<br />
And that pair of wins over Razor Blade and Frances Marigold? Ain’t helping. <br />
<br />
Madison’s baby-boy didn’t have to earn a briefcase. <br />
<br />
Her legacy gifted it to him.<br />
<br />
And he barely survived long enough to unwrap it. <br />
<br />
<br />
In his first ever March Madness appearance: <br />
<br />
Sami’ got bounced in the quarter-finals…<br />
<br />
After failing to win a single match throughout the whole tournament. <br />
<br />
Dyson walked into March Madness as the X-treme Champion…<br />
<br />
And he got dogwalked both times he stepped to the plate…<br />
<br />
By Micheal fuckin’ Graves of all people! And not even the ‘allegedly’ good one!<br />
<br />
He got his shit pushed in by the same Micheal Graves I’ve beaten three times in a row. <br />
<br />
If you ask me, he lost twice in a row during March Madness…<br />
<br />
To the same Micheal Graves I’ve never even lost a god-damned game of rock, paper, scissors to!<br />
<br />
<br />
And somehow, someway- Madison’s baby boy sucked off enough Trillionaires that they let him walk away from the tournament with his tail tucked between his legs, and with the X-treme title somehow still around his waist.<br />
<br />
That level of back-stage finagling may get you a briefcase, Sami, but it won’t be enough to save you at Bad Medicine. <br />
<br />
Because me and Korvayne? <br />
<br />
WE ARE GOING TO RATFUCK YOU!<br />
<br />
Mostly me, of course- but Korvayne will be there, sitting in the corner, watching the brutality unfold from behind her crimson mask.<br />
<br />
Like some sort of sick and twisted cuck!<br />
<br />
But that’s the kind of fucked-up shit you pretend to be into for clout, right, Dyse’?<br />
<br />
We’ll see how much you really like blood sports when you’re trapped in a ring with The Nickleman, in front of a million titillated fans. This ain’t gonna’ be like the backstage hallways, baby boy, where you can just kick out and walk away scotch-free!<br />
<br />
This time? The Nickleman is gonna’ be on your ass like a god-damned blood hound! And when I finally get my jaws around you? I’m gonna tear your flesh from itself!<br />
<br />
Dyson probably thinks he has some sort of advantage in this match cause he’s coming in fresh: but that’s where he’s wrong.<br />
<br />
Dead wrong.<br />
<br />
Sami’s not coming in ‘fresh’...<br />
<br />
He’s just fresh meat!<br />
<br />
Korvayne vs Charlie Nickles is too hot a feud, it’s too big a draw- the Trillionaires can’t afford for it to end on Sunday night! Me and that bitch have ‘Relentless’ written all across our foreheads-<br />
<br />
And that’s where you come in, Dyson.<br />
<br />
Right alongside Remi Storm, Jordan Penn, and the rest of the fucking circus. <br />
<br />
You’re just another extra in our story. Just another second-rate worker coasting on someone else’s name, who can’t build towards a match to save your life.<br />
<br />
So you’ve become another warm body, just an <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">indistinguishable</span>, being shepherded by the all-powerful bookers towards a fate already sealed. <br />
<br />
By the time I get done with you, Sami boy, your body will be whittled into kindling-<br />
<br />
And thrown onto the fanning flames of my story with Korvayne.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">Drip. <br />
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;" class="mycode_align">Drip. <br />
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">Drip. <br />
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;" class="mycode_align">Drip</div>
. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;" class="mycode_align">
Charlie pushed himself up off the floor as a strange wetness leaked down from the ceiling. The Nickleman looked around, finding himself in an unfinished basement from his past. He rubbed his eyes, cursed under his breath, and tried to step forward-<br />
<br />
But found himself unable. <br />
<br />
His feet had been chained to the floorboards!<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“What the?”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“Everyone is trapped inside the prison of their own mind, ultimately.”</font><br />
<br />
Charlie’s head moved on a swivel when he heard Jennie’s voice. It was too dark and damp down here for Charlie to see her, but he knew which direction the sound came from. He rushed that way- until he was tripped up by his chains of regret.<br />
<br />
The Nickleman plopped straight down, being carried into a nasty fall by the weight of his own momentum. That’s when his sister finally revealed herself, stepping forward from the darkness. She stood just in front of his face, wearing the outfit of The Scarlet Verdict.<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Jennie!”</span><br />
<br />
A big smile spread across Charlie’s chapped lips. He tried pushing himself off the floorboards once more- only to find The Scarlet Verdict’s boot pushing down between his shoulderblades. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Jennie?”</span><br />
<br />
You could hear the concern in Charlie’s voice as he noticed the red light from a camera set up just a few feet from him. He looked directly into the <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">glass</span>: and saw <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">your</span> eyes judging him from the other side. A shiver ran down both spines before Charlie snapped back to his ‘reality’. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“What the hell’s going on here? Why are you wearing all that?”</span><br />
<br />
Jennie softly chuckled from behind her mask. From her perspective, Charlie didn’t deserve an answer. But he did deserve a boot to the face!<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“FUCK!”</span><br />
<br />
Charlie hollers like a hit dog as blood bursts out of his nose. The Scarlet Verdict says nothing, instead, she walks straight towards the camera while Charlie rolls around the floorboards clutching his nose. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Why are you doing this to me?!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“Funny, is that what they asked you?”</font><br />
<br />
Charlie squinted into the darkness as he tried to keep his eyes peeled on his roaming sister. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Who?”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“Them.”</font><br />
<br />
Suddenly, with the press of a button, The Scarlet Verdict illuminated one of the basement’s walls with a spotlight. The flayed corpses of three women were on display, each in a various state of undress and hanging from the ceiling by chains. The Scarlet Verdict approached them from left to right, gesturing to the first body- the one in a cheap purple wig. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“You remember her, don’t you? You must. You only mention her every promo. How you ‘ruined’ her career, how you ‘drove her out’ of the XWF…you must be awfully proud of yourself. Say her name and apologize.”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“I don’t know who the FUCK that is! You’ve gone crazy, bitch!”</span> <br />
<br />
Charlie stood up in a panic, trying to pull his chains out of the floorboard: but it was no use. They wouldn’t budge. Then, with the press of a button, a jolt of electricity shot all throughout Charlie’s body. He fell to the floor, shaking, instinctively reaching towards his neck: where he felt a shock-collar big enough to down a buffalo bull! <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“Say. Her. Name!”</font><br />
<br />
Another jolt of electricity went coursing through The Nickleman’s veins, his mouth frothing every so slightly as he lost control of his nervous system. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“Her and Marf saved you from the curse of the Demos, and how did you repay her? With a barbed-wire baseball bat to the face, that put her out of the industry for good!”</font><br />
<br />
Charlie fought through the pain to say the name of his favorite victim. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“L-l-lycana….”</span><br />
<br />
The Scarlet Verdict merely nodded before moving on to the next body hanging from the ceiling. This body was the only one without a head. Charlie recognized her immediately. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Robyn…”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“You took your own daughter’s life because her star was shining brighter than yours. She was on the verge of eclipsing your career, so you chose to snuff hers out. The career of your own daughter! You’re a sick man.”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“I was…on drugs! I wasn’t in control of my own actions!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“When aren’t you? You’re weak and a coward. It’s an embarrassment that I have to be related to you.”<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“I’m sorry!”</span><br />
<br />
Charlie reached out for his sister- but she reached for the button at the same time, shocking Charlie and causing him to fall once more. <br />
<br />
[yellow]“No, you’re not.”</font><br />
<br />
Charlie could feel a thousand volts of electricity pulsing through him, but even above all that, he could feel the truth in her words. He wasn’t sorry for Robyn’s death, and he certainly wasn’t sorry for ruining Lycana’s career. He did what he did to get ahead in this industry: and who’s to say he wouldn’t do it again if given the chance? <br />
<br />
That’s when The Scarlet Verdict moved to the last body, the only one still wriggling around. The only one wearing a bag over her head. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“Not content to live with just memories, you’ve found another target for your limerence. Another woman you seek to maim and desecrate. Another living soul you yearn to turn into a <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">dead name</span> that you can list off in your promos…”</font><br />
<br />
The woman chained to the ceiling squirms as Jennie grabs hold of her by the neck, just below the bag on her head. She makes eye contact with Charlie as she places her other hand on top of the woman’s head, grabbing the bag. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“You get off on this, on their suffering, don’t you brother?”</font><br />
<br />
The Nickleman watches as The Scarlet Verdict pulls the bag off the woman’s head, revealing the face of Charlie’s next victim. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Korvayne…</span><br />
<br />
She squirms and fights, but it doesn’t do anything. She’s too frail and dramatic to free herself from the chains that bind her. Korvayne tries to scream, but a ballgag placed in her mouth stops her. <br />
<br />
The fear in Korvayne’s bulging eyes is impossible to miss. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">"You always said the pipe was your Shangri-La, brother."</font> <br />
<br />
Jennie tilts her head toward Korvayne, still thrashing against the ballgag. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">"But this? This is your real one. Different smoke. Better high. This feeling of control and dominance: that’s the high you’re always chasing."</font><br />
<br />
Charlie's laughter is wet and broken, blood from his nose bubbling with every wheeze.<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">So what if I like it? Watching them squirm, breaking them down into Barbie parts- at least I'm HONEST! You're no different than me, Jennie. You just found a prettier lie."</span><br />
<br />
The silence that follows is the loudest thing in the room.<br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">"Wrong answer."</font><br />
<br />
Jennie's thumb finds the button to his collar.<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”</span><br />
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">It all comes down to this, doesn’t it? <br />
<br />
But it can’t end here, Korvayne. <br />
<br />
I won’t let it. <br />
<br />
Our story isn’t finished until I decide I’m done with you.<br />
<br />
And baby girl-<br />
<br />
Everybody knows I’m <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Relentless</span>. <br />
<br />
You’re just as naive as the others-<br />
<br />
As all the Lycanas, Robyns, and Jennies who came before you.<br />
<br />
Who think that somehow, someway-<br />
<br />
A dance with The Nickleman won’t destroy them.<br />
<br />
But that’s where you’re wrong, Korvayne: <br />
<br />
Because if you keep dancing with The Nickleman…<br />
<br />
Pretty soon, you’ll never dance again.<br />
<br />
We all remember what Bobby Bourbon did to you for that TV title.<br />
<br />
You pissed in your tights when you saw your name across from his on a card.<br />
<br />
Like a battered housewife, you gave that man every damn thing he wanted from you. And yet still, he beat you silly.<br />
<br />
So what are you gonna do now-<br />
<br />
When you’re set to face off against a REAL Bastard for the first time in your sheltered life!?!?<br />
<br />
You’re just my type, you know…<br />
<br />
I have a long and storied history of ending careers just like yours. <br />
<br />
Ending the careers of young and beautiful women. <br />
<br />
Lycana, L-S-M, Jennie…<br />
<br />
None of them could survive their first contact with The Nickleman.<br />
<br />
So what makes you think your story will be any different?<br />
<br />
Your simp can’t protect you from me- I already proved that on Warfare.<br />
<br />
But you should’ve known better. <br />
<br />
Because Caedus couldn’t protect Lycana. <br />
<br />
And even James Raven couldn’t protect Betsy Granger. <br />
<br />
But I’m not a bad man, baby, I’m just…built a little different than everyone else. <br />
<br />
A little more <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">fucked up!</span><br />
<br />
So I give you this promise, Korvayne: <br />
<br />
I won’t end your career at Bad Medicine…no matter how deeply I yearn for it. <br />
<br />
I’m just going to derail it. <br />
<br />
I’m going to center it around ME!<br />
<br />
You’re playing a dangerous game, baby doll, and it can only end one way…<br />
<br />
But I don’t want to spoil the finale before we reach Relentless!<br />
<br />
There’s still so much fun we can have until then.<br />
<br />
I’ve taken you out behind the woodshed on back-to-back Warfares…<br />
<br />
But in reality, I was letting you <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">get off</span> easy.<br />
<br />
Because after I walk away from Bad Medicine with all this gold?<br />
<br />
Only then will the stage be set for your destruction.<br />
<br />
For your humiliation and debasement. <br />
<br />
Going into Relentless, I’ll hold all the cards…<br />
<br />
All the belts…<br />
<br />
All the momentum…<br />
<br />
But you, Korvayne?<br />
<br />
You’ll be holding onto something even more special…<br />
<br />
You’ll be holding onto a quest for vengeance.<br />
<br />
And the delusional hope that you may actually fulfill it.<br />
<br />
I can’t wait to vanquish that fire in your eyes….I yearn for that sweetness.<br />
<br />
With tender blades I’ll flower you, my pretty darling…<br />
<br />
Don’t you understand?<br />
<br />
I’ve become Geppetto now-<br />
<br />
And you are just another puppet dancing on my strings.<br />
<br />
Hanging on my every word.<br />
<br />
Falling after every blow.<br />
<br />
So when we get in that ring together at Bad Medicine, you will cease to be Korvayne…<br />
<br />
Instead, you will become MINE.<br />
<br />
Your body will transform into a monument of my destructive whims.<br />
<br />
Just like all the others before you.<br />
<br />
Welcome to my Shangri-La!</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;" class="mycode_align">As Charlie came back to, he found himself seated in a slumped position. He tried to sit up, but was unable: he was strapped in. He panicked for a brief moment, but then he saw the red light of the camera recording Jennie’s scarlet verdict- and his panic became permanent. <br />
<br />
Sweat poured down his face, congealing into the abscess holes Charlie had clawed into his own skin. Nickles looked around for an escape, but there wasn’t one. There was just a screen and a projector, exactly where the bodies had been.<br />
 <br />
Then, the projector flickered to life with a sound like a dying breath.<br />
<br />
There was no title card, just grainy CCTV footage from some security camera Charlie never knew about.<br />
We watch Jennie walk into a parking garage, laughing at something on her phone, oblivious to what’s about to happen.<br />
<br />
Then, we see a man who looks like Sebastian Everett-Bryce enter the frame. He turns his head ever so slightly…incidentally revealing the brutal scar along his face. <br />
<br />
Charlie strained against the chair’s restraints, screaming without sound, as the footage did what footage does- it kept playing, indifferent to his suffering. He watched his tag partner's hands. He watched his sister go down and not get back up.<br />
<br />
The screen cut to black before Charlie could see the rest. He didn't need to.<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">"No…no, that's not- Jordan wouldn't-"</span><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">"He handed you a name and let your grief do the rest. You didn't avenge me, Charlie. You EMBARASSED me!"</font> <br />
<br />
Jennie stepped out from the shadows, her face bloody and bruised nearly beyond recognition. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">"He broke you down and rebuilt you as his perfect weapon: and you never connected the dots….<br />
Until tonight."</font><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">BANG!</span></span><br />
<br />
The projector screen split down the middle like a fault line, Jennie's face fracturing along with it.<br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">"Wake up, brother."</font><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">”Wake</font></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="red">Up!”</font><br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;" class="mycode_align"><font color="red">“Wake up!”</font><br />
<br />
Charlie came to on the bathroom floor with glass shards biting into his palms and a sudden sharpness in his heart. It was the stinging from the narcan Jordan Penn had just shot into Charlie’s chest!<br />
<br />
<font color="red">“You better not be dying! We still need to defend our tag-titles!”</font><br />
<br />
The Nickleman blinked furiously, slowly regaining control of his motor skills whilst Jordan shook him awake. As Charlie’s eyes opened, he could see that Jordan was still wearing both of the stolen XWF championship belts. <br />
<br />
<font color="red">“Oh thank God!”</font><br />
<br />
But there was no God in this room. There was only a man with a mythologized self-image, and a man who had just saved his life- while also costing him everything. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“No- thank ME!”</span><br />
<br />
Charlie’s arm shot out, reaching for Penn’s neck. He squeezed, squeezed, and squeezed while staring bloody murder right into Jordan’s eyes. <br />
<br />
<font color="red">“Hey…let me….let….go!”</font><br />
<br />
Penn eventually pushed himself away from Charlie, breaking the chokehold. <br />
<br />
<font color="red">“What the fuck was that about?!”</font><br />
<br />
The Nickleman looked The Blacque Sheep up and down, the violent images from the projector still flickering in his mind. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Nothing- just, I was operating on instinct is all.”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="red">“You better get it together, and fast! I can hear our fucking music playing already!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Oh, don’t worry Jordan…I’ve put it together now.”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="red">“Good!”</font><br />
<br />
Charlie Nickles rose to his feet, wiped the blood from his lip, and smiled. Whatever waited for Jordan Penn could wait a little longer…because Charlie’s next dose of Bad Medicine couldn’t.</div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: left;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffffff;" class="mycode_color">SUNDAY NIGHT<br />
FIVE MINUTES BEFORE SHOWTIME<br />
</span><br />
</span><br />
The pressure melted once the door slammed shut. All the expectation, all the spotlights, all the <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">noise</span> from tonight’s soldout crowd: just faded away once Charlie pressed in the bathroom’s lock. The Nickleman took a deep sigh of relief before reaching into his pocket and feeling for his salvation.<br />
<br />
Or rather- <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Fiending for it.</span><br />
<br />
His palms clutched the glass, carefully lifting it from his jeans before setting it upon the bathroom sink. Charlie then retrieved his bag and a lighter just as gingerly. The Nickleman set his prized possessions out side-by-side, licking his lips with anticipation. <br />
<br />
This was the Bad Medicine he had been looking forward to all day. The Bad Medicine he would enjoy for as long as the bag lasted.<br />
<br />
Charlie Nickles had discovered his Shangri-La years ago: <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Inside the bowl of a crack pipe.</span><br />
<br />
And ever since Charlie lost his sister, he’d been soaring with those angels on the daily. But don’t you dare feel an ounce of sorrow for this dastardly Nickleman: because truth be told, Jennie Nickles downfall was all his fault.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">And even he knows it.</span><br />
<br />
He feels that ugly truth in his bones: that’s why he has to numb them beyond belief. Because that’s the only way Charlie can walk out to the ring without being weighed down by his regrets. It was a truth Charlie fought hard to suppress: but would soon be forced to confront. <br />
<br />
Charlie’s gaze shifts up from the glass to the glass: from his trusty pipe into the streaky bathroom mirror. He couldn’t believe the reflection he saw staring back. Was that really him? With the leathery skin, the jittery jaw, and the abscesses scratched into his face? Charlie could hardly recognize The Nickleman he saw on the other side of the glass.<br />
 <br />
But when Charlie looked down at the glass on the sink, he recognized his deliverance immediately. Idle hands are the devil’s work, and whilst Charlie was mindlessly staring into the mirror, his hands had been busy breaking down a rock into the bowl. The act had become so second-nature to Charlie, that sometimes, he didn’t even realize he was doing it.<br />
<br />
Don’t call it an addiction. Charlie considered it a <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">miracle</span>...<br />
<br />
That somehow, someway, a few hits of crack cocaine could fill the emptiness in his heart. <br />
<br />
His Bad Medicine worked everytime…<br />
<br />
Until it finally didn’t. <br />
<br />
The flames grew higher as Charlie flicked the bic, his body slumping against the bathroom wall in a classic fenty lean. He inhaled one hit of salvation after the other, each puff leaving his mind cloudier than the last. Charlie thought that cloudy feeling meant he was floating into heaven: but in reality, he was sinking deeper into his own personal hell.  <br />
<br />
Deeper than he ever dared go. <br />
<br />
A hazy fog filled the room, clouding Charlie’s vision. But he didn’t need to see to be healed: he just had to feel. And feel it he did: spreading from his chest into his left arm. A strange sort of numbness, the same tingling feeling that was suddenly overtaking one side of his face. The glass pipe slipped out of his clammy hands, shattering when it reached the ground. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Oh, FFFFffffffffuu-”</span><br />
<br />
The floor where Charlie lay grew wet and slimy. His body went into a cold sweat, shivering and shaking, as the dark fog began to overwhelm his senses. In the back of his mind, Charlie heard the voice of an angel calling him. Not just one angel. It was a quartet of heavenly voices, each singing their own melodic song just for him. <br />
<br />
Or rather…<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">about</span> him. It was a difference Charlie couldn’t yet understand: but soon would.<br />
<br />
Charlie stretched his arm blindly, trying to reach out for the hands of those serene voices in his ear. But all he could feel was the glass. The shards of Charlie’s pipe crunched beneath the weight of his grief, slicing his hands over and over again as he tried to pick up the pieces of his broken life. Because some mistakes can never be fixed. They can only make you <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">hurt</span>. Although Charlie couldn’t feel the pain from his bleeding lacerations, since his hands felt like they were filled with sand. It was a creeping sensation slowly spreading across his body. <br />
<br />
It was a sad sight to behold. A former Universal Champion, the greatest TV Champion of all time, and a cofounder of BOB: all overdosing on a dirty floor at the same time. <br />
<br />
Yet sadder still were the crying moans of the lost angels. Their beautiful shrieks of woe filled Charlie with a vibrant joy he had not felt in years. The horrid screams of those banshees gave Charlie a reason to fight through the nothingness slowly consuming him. <br />
<br />
Charlie stretched his arm blindly, reaching out once more for the hands of those squealing wraiths: and this time, all he could feel was the glass. Charlie lifted himself to a standing position with the help of the porcelain sink, wobbling on his feet as he maintained an unsteady gait in front of the mirror. <br />
<br />
The blood-curdling screams grew louder once the women spotted Charlie’s weathered face. He was staring at them through the glass, licking his lips even as the life was draining from his face. <br />
<br />
The women’s faces flashed in quick succession across the glass, looking more battered and bloodied with every reappearance. Charlie fought as hard as he could to raise a bloody hand up to the mirror, placing it gingerly upon the flashing images of his handiwork. <br />
 <br />
Until a new, untouched face suddenly flashed in the mirror.<br />
<br />
And the screams stopped. <br />
<br />
The silence was only broken when- <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Jennie?”</span><br />
<br />
The Nickleman spoke softly. The woman in the mirror smiled, nodding politely-<br />
<br />
Before streaks of blood began raining down her skull!<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“JENNIE!”</span><br />
<br />
Charlie reached towards the mirror instinctively, as if he were trying to pull his sister out from the other side-<br />
<br />
Something truly impossible-<br />
<br />
Something he should have thought twice about.<br />
<br />
Because when Charlie reached out for the glass-<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">It reached back.</span><br />
<br />
Bloody hand in bloody hand, Jennie pulled Charlie across to the other side: into the deepest recesses of his own mind. Charlie chirped with surprise as he was pulled into the mirror, catching a sight most peculiar from out the corner of his eye. <br />
<br />
It was his own body, laying still and slumped against the bathroom wall. <br />
</div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">I don’t drink anymore. <br />
<br />
Alcohol just doesn’t do it for me these days.<br />
<br />
My sorrows are too deep to drown. <br />
<br />
I don’t need liquid courage flowing through my veins: I’m man enough to fight my demons without it. <br />
<br />
But Samael Dyson? <br />
<br />
He’s the Smirnoff Ice of X-treme. He can’t fuck anyone up- and at best, he’s a cheap imitation of the real thing. <br />
<br />
His dyed hair, his slender frame: this attention-seeking edgelord doesn’t belong in a wrestling ring. He belongs in a High School Musical. <br />
<br />
He could play the emo kid who freaks out when the Razor Blade actually cuts him!<br />
<br />
Because little Sami likes his violence as an AESTHETIC: but it’s not his reality. <br />
<br />
It never has been. It never will be. <br />
<br />
Because Maddy Dyson’s baby-boy, her sweet prince of privilege, was born into this world with a silver-spoon stuck up his ass. <br />
<br />
He didn’t have to fight for his spot in this company like I did. My whore mother wasn’t able to ‘make a lane’ for me in the XWF. I had to carve out my own path to the Universal Championship, leaving behind a trail of broken bodies as I rose to the top. <br />
<br />
But baby Dyson’s been on the roster for 9 months now, and he hasn’t broken no-body.<br />
<br />
Lil’ Sami’s sprint towards a briefcase? Has been laughable at best. If beating Dickie Watson earns you a briefcase, I should be expecting one in the mail any day now. If beating Jenny Myst earns you a briefcase, I should have about 3 or 4 of them. If losing Universal Championship matches qualifies you for a briefcase…..I should have another five or six. <br />
<br />
And that pair of wins over Razor Blade and Frances Marigold? Ain’t helping. <br />
<br />
Madison’s baby-boy didn’t have to earn a briefcase. <br />
<br />
Her legacy gifted it to him.<br />
<br />
And he barely survived long enough to unwrap it. <br />
<br />
<br />
In his first ever March Madness appearance: <br />
<br />
Sami’ got bounced in the quarter-finals…<br />
<br />
After failing to win a single match throughout the whole tournament. <br />
<br />
Dyson walked into March Madness as the X-treme Champion…<br />
<br />
And he got dogwalked both times he stepped to the plate…<br />
<br />
By Micheal fuckin’ Graves of all people! And not even the ‘allegedly’ good one!<br />
<br />
He got his shit pushed in by the same Micheal Graves I’ve beaten three times in a row. <br />
<br />
If you ask me, he lost twice in a row during March Madness…<br />
<br />
To the same Micheal Graves I’ve never even lost a god-damned game of rock, paper, scissors to!<br />
<br />
<br />
And somehow, someway- Madison’s baby boy sucked off enough Trillionaires that they let him walk away from the tournament with his tail tucked between his legs, and with the X-treme title somehow still around his waist.<br />
<br />
That level of back-stage finagling may get you a briefcase, Sami, but it won’t be enough to save you at Bad Medicine. <br />
<br />
Because me and Korvayne? <br />
<br />
WE ARE GOING TO RATFUCK YOU!<br />
<br />
Mostly me, of course- but Korvayne will be there, sitting in the corner, watching the brutality unfold from behind her crimson mask.<br />
<br />
Like some sort of sick and twisted cuck!<br />
<br />
But that’s the kind of fucked-up shit you pretend to be into for clout, right, Dyse’?<br />
<br />
We’ll see how much you really like blood sports when you’re trapped in a ring with The Nickleman, in front of a million titillated fans. This ain’t gonna’ be like the backstage hallways, baby boy, where you can just kick out and walk away scotch-free!<br />
<br />
This time? The Nickleman is gonna’ be on your ass like a god-damned blood hound! And when I finally get my jaws around you? I’m gonna tear your flesh from itself!<br />
<br />
Dyson probably thinks he has some sort of advantage in this match cause he’s coming in fresh: but that’s where he’s wrong.<br />
<br />
Dead wrong.<br />
<br />
Sami’s not coming in ‘fresh’...<br />
<br />
He’s just fresh meat!<br />
<br />
Korvayne vs Charlie Nickles is too hot a feud, it’s too big a draw- the Trillionaires can’t afford for it to end on Sunday night! Me and that bitch have ‘Relentless’ written all across our foreheads-<br />
<br />
And that’s where you come in, Dyson.<br />
<br />
Right alongside Remi Storm, Jordan Penn, and the rest of the fucking circus. <br />
<br />
You’re just another extra in our story. Just another second-rate worker coasting on someone else’s name, who can’t build towards a match to save your life.<br />
<br />
So you’ve become another warm body, just an <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">indistinguishable</span>, being shepherded by the all-powerful bookers towards a fate already sealed. <br />
<br />
By the time I get done with you, Sami boy, your body will be whittled into kindling-<br />
<br />
And thrown onto the fanning flames of my story with Korvayne.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">Drip. <br />
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;" class="mycode_align">Drip. <br />
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">Drip. <br />
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;" class="mycode_align">Drip</div>
. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;" class="mycode_align">
Charlie pushed himself up off the floor as a strange wetness leaked down from the ceiling. The Nickleman looked around, finding himself in an unfinished basement from his past. He rubbed his eyes, cursed under his breath, and tried to step forward-<br />
<br />
But found himself unable. <br />
<br />
His feet had been chained to the floorboards!<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“What the?”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“Everyone is trapped inside the prison of their own mind, ultimately.”</font><br />
<br />
Charlie’s head moved on a swivel when he heard Jennie’s voice. It was too dark and damp down here for Charlie to see her, but he knew which direction the sound came from. He rushed that way- until he was tripped up by his chains of regret.<br />
<br />
The Nickleman plopped straight down, being carried into a nasty fall by the weight of his own momentum. That’s when his sister finally revealed herself, stepping forward from the darkness. She stood just in front of his face, wearing the outfit of The Scarlet Verdict.<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Jennie!”</span><br />
<br />
A big smile spread across Charlie’s chapped lips. He tried pushing himself off the floorboards once more- only to find The Scarlet Verdict’s boot pushing down between his shoulderblades. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Jennie?”</span><br />
<br />
You could hear the concern in Charlie’s voice as he noticed the red light from a camera set up just a few feet from him. He looked directly into the <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">glass</span>: and saw <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">your</span> eyes judging him from the other side. A shiver ran down both spines before Charlie snapped back to his ‘reality’. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“What the hell’s going on here? Why are you wearing all that?”</span><br />
<br />
Jennie softly chuckled from behind her mask. From her perspective, Charlie didn’t deserve an answer. But he did deserve a boot to the face!<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“FUCK!”</span><br />
<br />
Charlie hollers like a hit dog as blood bursts out of his nose. The Scarlet Verdict says nothing, instead, she walks straight towards the camera while Charlie rolls around the floorboards clutching his nose. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Why are you doing this to me?!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“Funny, is that what they asked you?”</font><br />
<br />
Charlie squinted into the darkness as he tried to keep his eyes peeled on his roaming sister. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Who?”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“Them.”</font><br />
<br />
Suddenly, with the press of a button, The Scarlet Verdict illuminated one of the basement’s walls with a spotlight. The flayed corpses of three women were on display, each in a various state of undress and hanging from the ceiling by chains. The Scarlet Verdict approached them from left to right, gesturing to the first body- the one in a cheap purple wig. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“You remember her, don’t you? You must. You only mention her every promo. How you ‘ruined’ her career, how you ‘drove her out’ of the XWF…you must be awfully proud of yourself. Say her name and apologize.”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“I don’t know who the FUCK that is! You’ve gone crazy, bitch!”</span> <br />
<br />
Charlie stood up in a panic, trying to pull his chains out of the floorboard: but it was no use. They wouldn’t budge. Then, with the press of a button, a jolt of electricity shot all throughout Charlie’s body. He fell to the floor, shaking, instinctively reaching towards his neck: where he felt a shock-collar big enough to down a buffalo bull! <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“Say. Her. Name!”</font><br />
<br />
Another jolt of electricity went coursing through The Nickleman’s veins, his mouth frothing every so slightly as he lost control of his nervous system. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“Her and Marf saved you from the curse of the Demos, and how did you repay her? With a barbed-wire baseball bat to the face, that put her out of the industry for good!”</font><br />
<br />
Charlie fought through the pain to say the name of his favorite victim. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“L-l-lycana….”</span><br />
<br />
The Scarlet Verdict merely nodded before moving on to the next body hanging from the ceiling. This body was the only one without a head. Charlie recognized her immediately. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Robyn…”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“You took your own daughter’s life because her star was shining brighter than yours. She was on the verge of eclipsing your career, so you chose to snuff hers out. The career of your own daughter! You’re a sick man.”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“I was…on drugs! I wasn’t in control of my own actions!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“When aren’t you? You’re weak and a coward. It’s an embarrassment that I have to be related to you.”<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“I’m sorry!”</span><br />
<br />
Charlie reached out for his sister- but she reached for the button at the same time, shocking Charlie and causing him to fall once more. <br />
<br />
[yellow]“No, you’re not.”</font><br />
<br />
Charlie could feel a thousand volts of electricity pulsing through him, but even above all that, he could feel the truth in her words. He wasn’t sorry for Robyn’s death, and he certainly wasn’t sorry for ruining Lycana’s career. He did what he did to get ahead in this industry: and who’s to say he wouldn’t do it again if given the chance? <br />
<br />
That’s when The Scarlet Verdict moved to the last body, the only one still wriggling around. The only one wearing a bag over her head. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“Not content to live with just memories, you’ve found another target for your limerence. Another woman you seek to maim and desecrate. Another living soul you yearn to turn into a <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">dead name</span> that you can list off in your promos…”</font><br />
<br />
The woman chained to the ceiling squirms as Jennie grabs hold of her by the neck, just below the bag on her head. She makes eye contact with Charlie as she places her other hand on top of the woman’s head, grabbing the bag. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">“You get off on this, on their suffering, don’t you brother?”</font><br />
<br />
The Nickleman watches as The Scarlet Verdict pulls the bag off the woman’s head, revealing the face of Charlie’s next victim. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Korvayne…</span><br />
<br />
She squirms and fights, but it doesn’t do anything. She’s too frail and dramatic to free herself from the chains that bind her. Korvayne tries to scream, but a ballgag placed in her mouth stops her. <br />
<br />
The fear in Korvayne’s bulging eyes is impossible to miss. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">"You always said the pipe was your Shangri-La, brother."</font> <br />
<br />
Jennie tilts her head toward Korvayne, still thrashing against the ballgag. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">"But this? This is your real one. Different smoke. Better high. This feeling of control and dominance: that’s the high you’re always chasing."</font><br />
<br />
Charlie's laughter is wet and broken, blood from his nose bubbling with every wheeze.<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">So what if I like it? Watching them squirm, breaking them down into Barbie parts- at least I'm HONEST! You're no different than me, Jennie. You just found a prettier lie."</span><br />
<br />
The silence that follows is the loudest thing in the room.<br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">"Wrong answer."</font><br />
<br />
Jennie's thumb finds the button to his collar.<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”</span><br />
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">It all comes down to this, doesn’t it? <br />
<br />
But it can’t end here, Korvayne. <br />
<br />
I won’t let it. <br />
<br />
Our story isn’t finished until I decide I’m done with you.<br />
<br />
And baby girl-<br />
<br />
Everybody knows I’m <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Relentless</span>. <br />
<br />
You’re just as naive as the others-<br />
<br />
As all the Lycanas, Robyns, and Jennies who came before you.<br />
<br />
Who think that somehow, someway-<br />
<br />
A dance with The Nickleman won’t destroy them.<br />
<br />
But that’s where you’re wrong, Korvayne: <br />
<br />
Because if you keep dancing with The Nickleman…<br />
<br />
Pretty soon, you’ll never dance again.<br />
<br />
We all remember what Bobby Bourbon did to you for that TV title.<br />
<br />
You pissed in your tights when you saw your name across from his on a card.<br />
<br />
Like a battered housewife, you gave that man every damn thing he wanted from you. And yet still, he beat you silly.<br />
<br />
So what are you gonna do now-<br />
<br />
When you’re set to face off against a REAL Bastard for the first time in your sheltered life!?!?<br />
<br />
You’re just my type, you know…<br />
<br />
I have a long and storied history of ending careers just like yours. <br />
<br />
Ending the careers of young and beautiful women. <br />
<br />
Lycana, L-S-M, Jennie…<br />
<br />
None of them could survive their first contact with The Nickleman.<br />
<br />
So what makes you think your story will be any different?<br />
<br />
Your simp can’t protect you from me- I already proved that on Warfare.<br />
<br />
But you should’ve known better. <br />
<br />
Because Caedus couldn’t protect Lycana. <br />
<br />
And even James Raven couldn’t protect Betsy Granger. <br />
<br />
But I’m not a bad man, baby, I’m just…built a little different than everyone else. <br />
<br />
A little more <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">fucked up!</span><br />
<br />
So I give you this promise, Korvayne: <br />
<br />
I won’t end your career at Bad Medicine…no matter how deeply I yearn for it. <br />
<br />
I’m just going to derail it. <br />
<br />
I’m going to center it around ME!<br />
<br />
You’re playing a dangerous game, baby doll, and it can only end one way…<br />
<br />
But I don’t want to spoil the finale before we reach Relentless!<br />
<br />
There’s still so much fun we can have until then.<br />
<br />
I’ve taken you out behind the woodshed on back-to-back Warfares…<br />
<br />
But in reality, I was letting you <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">get off</span> easy.<br />
<br />
Because after I walk away from Bad Medicine with all this gold?<br />
<br />
Only then will the stage be set for your destruction.<br />
<br />
For your humiliation and debasement. <br />
<br />
Going into Relentless, I’ll hold all the cards…<br />
<br />
All the belts…<br />
<br />
All the momentum…<br />
<br />
But you, Korvayne?<br />
<br />
You’ll be holding onto something even more special…<br />
<br />
You’ll be holding onto a quest for vengeance.<br />
<br />
And the delusional hope that you may actually fulfill it.<br />
<br />
I can’t wait to vanquish that fire in your eyes….I yearn for that sweetness.<br />
<br />
With tender blades I’ll flower you, my pretty darling…<br />
<br />
Don’t you understand?<br />
<br />
I’ve become Geppetto now-<br />
<br />
And you are just another puppet dancing on my strings.<br />
<br />
Hanging on my every word.<br />
<br />
Falling after every blow.<br />
<br />
So when we get in that ring together at Bad Medicine, you will cease to be Korvayne…<br />
<br />
Instead, you will become MINE.<br />
<br />
Your body will transform into a monument of my destructive whims.<br />
<br />
Just like all the others before you.<br />
<br />
Welcome to my Shangri-La!</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;" class="mycode_align">As Charlie came back to, he found himself seated in a slumped position. He tried to sit up, but was unable: he was strapped in. He panicked for a brief moment, but then he saw the red light of the camera recording Jennie’s scarlet verdict- and his panic became permanent. <br />
<br />
Sweat poured down his face, congealing into the abscess holes Charlie had clawed into his own skin. Nickles looked around for an escape, but there wasn’t one. There was just a screen and a projector, exactly where the bodies had been.<br />
 <br />
Then, the projector flickered to life with a sound like a dying breath.<br />
<br />
There was no title card, just grainy CCTV footage from some security camera Charlie never knew about.<br />
We watch Jennie walk into a parking garage, laughing at something on her phone, oblivious to what’s about to happen.<br />
<br />
Then, we see a man who looks like Sebastian Everett-Bryce enter the frame. He turns his head ever so slightly…incidentally revealing the brutal scar along his face. <br />
<br />
Charlie strained against the chair’s restraints, screaming without sound, as the footage did what footage does- it kept playing, indifferent to his suffering. He watched his tag partner's hands. He watched his sister go down and not get back up.<br />
<br />
The screen cut to black before Charlie could see the rest. He didn't need to.<br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">"No…no, that's not- Jordan wouldn't-"</span><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">"He handed you a name and let your grief do the rest. You didn't avenge me, Charlie. You EMBARASSED me!"</font> <br />
<br />
Jennie stepped out from the shadows, her face bloody and bruised nearly beyond recognition. <br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">"He broke you down and rebuilt you as his perfect weapon: and you never connected the dots….<br />
Until tonight."</font><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">BANG!</span></span><br />
<br />
The projector screen split down the middle like a fault line, Jennie's face fracturing along with it.<br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">"Wake up, brother."</font><br />
<br />
<font color="yellow">”Wake</font></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="red">Up!”</font><br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;" class="mycode_align"><font color="red">“Wake up!”</font><br />
<br />
Charlie came to on the bathroom floor with glass shards biting into his palms and a sudden sharpness in his heart. It was the stinging from the narcan Jordan Penn had just shot into Charlie’s chest!<br />
<br />
<font color="red">“You better not be dying! We still need to defend our tag-titles!”</font><br />
<br />
The Nickleman blinked furiously, slowly regaining control of his motor skills whilst Jordan shook him awake. As Charlie’s eyes opened, he could see that Jordan was still wearing both of the stolen XWF championship belts. <br />
<br />
<font color="red">“Oh thank God!”</font><br />
<br />
But there was no God in this room. There was only a man with a mythologized self-image, and a man who had just saved his life- while also costing him everything. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“No- thank ME!”</span><br />
<br />
Charlie’s arm shot out, reaching for Penn’s neck. He squeezed, squeezed, and squeezed while staring bloody murder right into Jordan’s eyes. <br />
<br />
<font color="red">“Hey…let me….let….go!”</font><br />
<br />
Penn eventually pushed himself away from Charlie, breaking the chokehold. <br />
<br />
<font color="red">“What the fuck was that about?!”</font><br />
<br />
The Nickleman looked The Blacque Sheep up and down, the violent images from the projector still flickering in his mind. <br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Nothing- just, I was operating on instinct is all.”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="red">“You better get it together, and fast! I can hear our fucking music playing already!”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="text-shadow: 0 0 7px red;font-size:14pt;color:green;font-weight:bold;font-family:'comIc sans ms';">“Oh, don’t worry Jordan…I’ve put it together now.”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="red">“Good!”</font><br />
<br />
Charlie Nickles rose to his feet, wiped the blood from his lip, and smiled. Whatever waited for Jordan Penn could wait a little longer…because Charlie’s next dose of Bad Medicine couldn’t.</div>]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Die Charlie Die]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50291</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jul 2026 22:44:13 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=3206">JuliaC</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50291</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">OOC: This RP takes places after the events in the Tag Team RP with Korvayne and Remi.... which will be posted tomorrow...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">We all decided to do a 24 hour extension for the tag match.... </div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">Had permission from Samael and Remi for this RP.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fkG6IM5e8Z1M4Ozgbq_-iNX0xhdqcPyVl2y8gCuZzsU/edit?usp=sharing" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="mycode_url"><span style="font-size: x-large;" class="mycode_size">Die Charlie Die</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">3,998 in Word Counter ~ 2.9% and 0% in Zero.GPT</div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/K6ycDLE16Bc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">OOC: This RP takes places after the events in the Tag Team RP with Korvayne and Remi.... which will be posted tomorrow...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">We all decided to do a 24 hour extension for the tag match.... </div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">Had permission from Samael and Remi for this RP.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fkG6IM5e8Z1M4Ozgbq_-iNX0xhdqcPyVl2y8gCuZzsU/edit?usp=sharing" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="mycode_url"><span style="font-size: x-large;" class="mycode_size">Die Charlie Die</span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align">3,998 in Word Counter ~ 2.9% and 0% in Zero.GPT</div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/K6ycDLE16Bc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></div>]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Blades and Graves]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50290</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jul 2026 17:31:02 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=2815">Sebastian Everett-Bryce</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50290</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cppEz127_rX9Csp31MBJ4imaYaXPMWzKpUAOcamxcOU/edit?usp=sharing" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="mycode_url"><span style="color: #eeeeee;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: xx-large;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Impact;" class="mycode_font">BLADES AND GRAVES</span></span></span></a></div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cppEz127_rX9Csp31MBJ4imaYaXPMWzKpUAOcamxcOU/edit?usp=sharing" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="mycode_url"><span style="color: #eeeeee;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: xx-large;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Impact;" class="mycode_font">BLADES AND GRAVES</span></span></span></a></div>]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Here we go one more time]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50289</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jul 2026 16:32:59 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=3088">SummerPage</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50289</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YemPJ0r5luhA18K45MRpL-1QezE3FZQwJO0oWbhG77M/edit?usp=sharing" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="mycode_url">Click Here<br />
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</a>Word Counts -1000 woeds</div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YemPJ0r5luhA18K45MRpL-1QezE3FZQwJO0oWbhG77M/edit?usp=sharing" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="mycode_url">Click Here<br />
<br />
</a>Word Counts -1000 woeds</div>]]></content:encoded>
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			<title><![CDATA[Operation: Bad Medicine]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50288</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jul 2026 14:22:01 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=3195">YourHighnessofViolence</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50288</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><img src="https://i.postimg.cc/T3R87zzz/operation-bad-medicine.png" loading="lazy"  alt="[Image: operation-bad-medicine.png]" class="mycode_img" /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dznVyfwEwKALzv-USwTkxX4CEPW02EV8NHFkEJIQ_QE/edit?tab=t.0" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="mycode_url">OPERATION BAD MEDICINE</a><br />
</span></span></div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><img src="https://i.postimg.cc/T3R87zzz/operation-bad-medicine.png" loading="lazy"  alt="[Image: operation-bad-medicine.png]" class="mycode_img" /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dznVyfwEwKALzv-USwTkxX4CEPW02EV8NHFkEJIQ_QE/edit?tab=t.0" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="mycode_url">OPERATION BAD MEDICINE</a><br />
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			<title><![CDATA[Square Hammer]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50287</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jul 2026 11:27:41 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=2262">Centurion</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50287</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NCLecv2LAvUyfHu58yzO7ZaKiz2T6hvc7VOQd3opjzE/edit?usp=sharing" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="mycode_url"><span style="font-size: x-large;" class="mycode_size">Are you ready to stand right here, right now, before the Devil?</span></a></div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NCLecv2LAvUyfHu58yzO7ZaKiz2T6hvc7VOQd3opjzE/edit?usp=sharing" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="mycode_url"><span style="font-size: x-large;" class="mycode_size">Are you ready to stand right here, right now, before the Devil?</span></a></div>]]></content:encoded>
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			<title><![CDATA[The Brief and Rather Unfortunate Servitude of Kevin Collins]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50286</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jul 2026 10:45:12 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=3191">Samael Dyson</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50286</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Kevin Collins tossed his keys on the cheap thrift store kitchen table and crossed into his diminutive living room, where his bulky 280 pound frame collapsed forlornly onto the couch. Another unsuccessful Tinder date had come and gone, and once again his company for the evening had excused herself to the restroom and failed to return. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">What am I doing wrong?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Was it because I used a dash of AI to make myself look like Jensen Ackles in my profile pic?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Did I talk too much about my action figure collection?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Was she not interested in the fact that I have every single movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe on Blu Ray?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">I mean…how could she NOT be interested?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Probably because she’s a cunt.</span><br />
<br />
Kevin groused. <br />
<br />
The unkissed 43 year old cast a glance at the scantily clad statuette of a questionably of age demon girl that adorned his end table. The one with the plastic rubbed away on the nipples from persistent fondling. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Why can’t real girls be more like anime girls?</span><br />
<br />
He pondered as he tried not to think about the tube of sleeping pills in the bathroom that were once again calling out to him to sleep forevermore. But who was he kidding?<br />
<br />
He was too much of a pussy to kill himself. <br />
<br />
It was then that a knock at the door interrupted his suicidal recrimations. With more than a twinge of curiosity, Kevin uprooted himself from the couch with a groan of exertion. Nobody ever visited him. Who could it be? <br />
<br />
Going to the door, he opened it, disclosing nought but an empty hallway. Looking left, and then right, he saw no trace of anyone. But then, looking down, his curiosity was piqued still further when he saw an old VCR with a crude note reading “Play Me” taped to it. Kevin picked up the outmoded technology and brought it to the living room. Hooking up the vintage hardware took some doing, but lets be honest, people like Kevin have nothing but time. Once completed, Kevin hit play and sat down to watch. <br />
<br />
At first, the cassette within displayed nothing but a blare of static. But once that was in the rearview, a young man appeared on the screen. Kevin recognized him instantly. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Samael Dyson!”</span> Kevin called out jubilantly. <br />
<br />
Samael proceeded to speak directly into the camera, his tone haughty and matter of fact.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Greetings peon! Today is the best day of your life! Yes, better than the day you discovered online pornography. Better than the day you first discovered you could splooge out a teaspoon of baby batter to girls who would never give you the time of day in the real world. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Because today is the day Samael Dyson came into your miserable, pointless existence. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">You probably know who I am. Champion. Wrestling God. Big dick sex haver. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">In short, everything you are not. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">But have no fear! Today I am here to offer you purpose! Meaning! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Now I’m not going to lie to you and suggest you’re something special. I am, after all, the main character of your story. But what I am offering is a place by my side as one of my score of nameless Insignificants!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">What?! ME?! An Insignificant!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Yes you! Granted, there’s no money. No benefits. In point of fact, you’ll practically be homeless. But just think about it, being in close proximity to ME day in and day out. Doing my bidding. Doing all the shit I’m too important to do myself. Why, you might even get lucky one day and I’ll let you sleep on the end of my bed.”</span><br />
<br />
And so Samael continued on…and on….and on….but Kevin wasn’t remotely noticing the minutes ticking by. So enrapt was he by the power of Samael’s words, so ensnared was he by the nigh supernatural presence of the Xtreme Champion. <br />
<br />
And when it was all said and done, just like so many scores of others, Kevin would slowly, reverently, pull that paper sack down over his head, and in so doing feel a sort of wholeness. Meaning had found him.<br />
<br />
Finally he was part and parcel of something MORE.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">THREE WEEKS LATER…</span></span><br />
<br />
Samael pulled the Insignificant formerly known as Kevin Collins in front of him to absorb the savage rain of ammunition spilling down from the watchtower. Kevin’s body juked and jived in its death throes, and Samael casually tossed his corpse aside just as Elektra fired a rocket launcher at the guard tower, setting off a surface to air missile that obliterated it and the enemy Rollerwhores therein. <br />
<br />
Sam pulled another Insignificant in front of him as a human shield as they made their way to the main gate. Another duo of assault rifle wielding Rollerwhores skated up to the gate, opening fire. But Samael’s Insignificants responded in kind and the ‘Whores dropped dead after a brief exchange of gunfire. Sam hunkered down against the wall next to the gate when he felt his ass start to thrum and vibrate. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Oh what the fuck!”</span> Sam cussed as he pulled his cell phone out. He watched as the semtex charge was affixed to the gate as he took note of who was calling and rolled his eyes in irritation before answering.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff56ff;" class="mycode_color">“Don’t roll your eyes at me! You have a 24/7 briefcase because of me!!”</span> Korvayne spoke.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“How the fuck did you know I was rolling my eyes?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff56ff;" class="mycode_color">“Call it a woman's intuition. But at any rate we need to talk about this Bad Medicine match.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“What about it?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff56ff;" class="mycode_color">“You OWE me, Sam!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“.....and?” </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff56ff;" class="mycode_color">“And you’re going to keep Charlie Nickles off my ass so I don’t lose my….”</span> She pauses, finally catching on to the sounds of combat behind Samael. <span style="color: #ff56ff;" class="mycode_color">“What the hell is going on out there?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“I’m raiding my father’s compound to kill him.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff56ff;" class="mycode_color">“Oh. Cool.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Yeah.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“So anyway I’m kinda fuckin’ busy right now. Could we have this discussion….”</span> And that was when a stray bullet took out the phone and knocked it from his hands. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Fucker!” </span>Then, turning to Violet and Elektra as they finished planting the charge on the gate, <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“That ready to go?”</span><br />
<br />
They both nodded in unison and skated to the far side of the wall where they flattened down protectively. Elektra produced the detonator and pressed it, and in a flash the gate was blown inward into a smoking pile of twisted rebar.    <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“HELL YEAH!”</span> Sam cheered, pumping a fist in the air. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Okay, now go, go, GO!”</span> Sam urged his minions onward, the Rollerwhores, the Ubermensch, and scores of gun toting Insignificants.<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color"> “Don’t worry about me, I’m just gonna chill here for a bit. Cut this bitchin’ ass promo.” </span>Samael’s shield Insignificant starts to leave when Sam grabs him by the collar and yanks him back. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Not you. I need someone to soak up all the bullets that come my way.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Oh yes, master! Okay master!”</span><br />
<br />
Sam nods at the Insignificant as the patter of gunfire explodes just beyond the ruined gate. The champion then turns towards the camera, smirking wildly.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Yes folks, today is the day of RECKONING! My father finally pays the price for interfering in my plans and trying to kill me. But more so than that, it’s a day of celebration! Because Bad Medicine marks the first day of the rest of the mighty Dyson empire. Longest reigning Xtreme champion in years! 24/7 briefcase holder! And soon to be your next Universal Champion! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Now, I’m not necessarily saying that shit’s going down at Bad Medicine. Am I cashing in on July 19th? Heh. Maybe! Maybe not. But the fact is that so long as I hold that briefcase, the shadow I cast over the entire XWF is long and perilous. And thus I only increase my mystique and the stranglehold I have over this entire company. The XWF is like a criminal waiting at the gallows for that floor to drop out. No one knows exactly when, or exactly how, but rest assured your necks are going to SNAP, your eyes are gonna bug out your skulls, and you're gonna fill your slacks with so, so much post mortem SHIT that people are gonna have to wear Hazmat suits just to move the body!”</span><br />
<br />
Samael holds up a hand as a large BOOM resounds in the distance. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“But perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. There are more near and present events that demand my attention….that demand my….my…..” </span><br />
<br />
Sam collapses into laughter. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Oh who the fuck am I kidding! I finally get to dogwalk Charlie Nickles at Bad Medicine and it is going to be fucking glorious! The only thing this “demands” is me trying not to pop a massive boner as I slam my iron gauntlet into those thick Cheeto stained jowls of his. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">FIVE MONTHS, UP-CHUCK!  Five months you’ve tried to take the Xtreme from me. Five months of ambushes. Five months of surprise pins and blindsiding attacks. And what has it gotten you?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Nothing. No, worse than nothing! It’s shattered your credibility in ways that even I can not fully elucidate! I mean, you’d think at least one of these 30-odd attempts would have been successful, but nope! Not for fuck up Chuck! And to keep coming back only to get rebuffed and embarrassed over and over….Jesus Christ was this a KINK for you? Do you get off on the humiliation…the failure? It wouldn’t surprise me. You seem like the type. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">And yes Chuck, yes, I’m well aware that you’ve held more titles than me. I’m well aware of your LEGACY. But all that weight of years has got to do something to a man, especially in a promotion as hard as the XWF. And it has, Chuck. Because let’s face facts. You’ve fallen down a long way from that Universal Championship reign. As I’ve said before, this game is a game of “what have you done lately”, and lately? You’ve done nothing but game the Xtreme championship into pathetic week-long reigns between you and your sycophants and try to resuscitate the corpse of BOB, which like Bobby Bourbon’s brief return, literally nobody asked for. And let’s not forget how you’ve also allowed that parasitic waster Jordan Penn to suckle on you! I mean, the old Charlie Nickles would have recognized him for the abyss of weakness that he is and DESTROYED him. Instead, you coddled him into an inexplicable tag team title reign. Christ man, what HAPPENED to you? Why are you picking up scraps?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Man, fuck the TV Championship. The real test of a man is the Xtreme Championship. A title you’ve held for barely over a month between three different reigns. You know, one would have thought that that title was meant for you. Isn’t that your wheelhouse? The EXTREME? So why have you been so mediocre with it every single time you’ve had it? Could it be the great Charlie Nickles is less extreme than he lets on? Could he be nothing more than a pasty bloated soft belly with a pair of hairy c-cup titties?  </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">The answer belles and beasts is YES. Especially the titties. I can’t wait to slap those hairy milkers around at Bad Medicine.”</span><br />
<br />
Another prolific BOOM is heard in the near distance, but Sam doesn’t even flinch because that’s just how much of a big dick playa he is.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“In short Chuck, you peaked! Whereas I am everything you’re not. Young. Good looking. Filled with endless potential. Possessor of two functional testicles.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">You ask the world who set the XWF on fire lately and it sure as shit isn’t your tired ass. No! It’s the man who completed the Xtreme Championship briefcase run. The man who’s done something only a handful of people have done, and you don’t even need all the fingers on that hand. And there’s the rub Chuck. For all your vaunted championships. For all your accolades. For as much as you like to pride yourself on being a unique specimen of humanity, everything you’ve ever done has been just short of historic. You’ve attained the same old achievements scores of other people have. Never a King. Never a 24/7 briefcase holder. All those things that demarcate someone as being the very best of the best you’ve NEVER accomplished. Because when it comes to Charlie Nickles, good was always good enough. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">But motherfucker, I’m aiming for GREAT! And thus far my aim has been true. And it stays true at Bad Medicine, when I finally slough off your fat dumpy ass for good!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Master…MASTER! We’ve captured your father!”</span> an Insignificant calls out from the precipice of the ruined gate. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“HA! And in record time too! Take me to him.”</span> Samael commands as he sidles up next to the Insignificant with his second bullet shield Insignificant in tow. Together, they enter the compound, which consists of a mansion surrounded by high walls topped with razor wire and guard towers. The grounds are littered with the corpses of Samael’s father’s enemy Rollerwhores, and Samael’s own Insignificants. Soon after Sam steps onto the battlefield, a mortally wounded Insignificant crawls over to him. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Master….we won! We…..*BLLLEURGHHHHHH!*” </span>the Insignificant vomits up a copious amount of blood on Samael's shoes. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Eugh! Fuckin’ GROSS!”</span> Sam scowls and kicks the dying Insignificant away. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah….Korvayne.” </span>Sam walks and talks as he’s led further into the bloodstained compound. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Kor…Kor….Kor….management is doing what they ALWAYS do. Trying to undermine and stymie me at every turn. Yeah, okay, they kind of threw me a bone with Tommy Gunn and his guys, but that was just to keep up appearances. After all, how did Kristoffer get under that ring in the first place with nobody on the crew noticing? Bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">And now MORE bullshit. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">They’re trying to break us up already, my dear sweet artiste. Trying to stir the pot, get us at each other’s throats! But we’re not going to let that happen, are we? No. Why? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Because they’re fucking stupid!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">I mean, if management really wanted us to have a go at each other, they would have made this shit one on one, title versus title. But that, in their infinite lack of wisdom, is NOT what they did. Nope! Instead, what they gave us was a convenient patsy to use and abuse to ensure we BOTH walk out of here with our titles reigns intact. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Kor, it’s so simple! All we have to do is gang up on and pin Charlie Nickles for both falls and we both walk out of Bad Medicine with what we came in with. Easy peasy baby. All we gotta do is stick to the plan.”</span><br />
<br />
Samael quirks an eyebrow. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Right? Because we ARE gonna stick to that plan, eh? There’s really no need for either of us to grabby now, is there?  </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">I mean, I know my championship is attractive. Second grandest title in all the land. Key to what amounts to a free pass at any other championship of your choice (if you’re good enough). </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">But let me be clear. I’m not done with it. And that goes whether you’re an ally or an enemy. You see, when I pissed right in Dexter Bright’s face that was more than a statement. It was a PROPHECY. I’m breaking his record with this title and I’m going down in history as the greatest XTreme champion of all time. Engy, Fuzz, and Unknown Soldier can all GET FUCKED.”</span><br />
<br />
He throws up a middle finger at the camera. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Besides, you guys are pulling double duty. How much are you going to have in the tank when you have to step to a WRESTLING GOD like me? Not much! But that’s okay, ‘Kor. You’ll have me as a backup. Charlie on the other hand? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">You’re boned. And not in the fun way.”</span><br />
<br />
As Samael continued his rant, he was led further and further into his father’s stately home. Finally arriving at a set of brass double doors, he paused a moment to look at the massive painting above them. It was a portrait of his father in the nude, looking robust, and seated with a Rollerwhore on each knee. Clearly the apple didn’t fall far from the proverbial tree. Sam chuckled as he passed through the open doors into a marble hallway, where that same man was on his knees, grimacing thanks to a bullet wound in his shoulder. Violet, Elektra, and the Ubermensch stood over him triumphantly. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #4cea5e;" class="mycode_color">“Wir haben Euren Vater erfolgreich gefangen genommen, Meister!” </span>the Übermensch stated proudly. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Still have no idea what the fuck you’re saying big guy, but it doesn’t matter. This is one of the best goddamn days of my life.”</span><br />
<br />
Matthew X, the man who sired the gleeful monster approaching him, cracked a smile despite his circumstances. <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“I’m so glad I could do that for you.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!”</span> Samael bent low to leer at his father. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“You can engage in all the cheeky meaningless banter you want. Until I decide it’s time for you to die, that is.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“Then why don’t you just get it over with?”</span><br />
<br />
Sam stood up. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Nah. I’m gonna savor this shit.”</span> He paced around his father, his eyes never leaving the man's head. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“I bet you’re really kicking yourself now.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“Why’s that?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Because all you had to do to avoid this fate was leave me the fuck alone! Unlike mother, I actually RESPECTED you. Maybe even kinda loved you….”</span><br />
<br />
Matthew X chortled. <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“You’re not capable of love.”</span><br />
<br />
Sam stopped in his tracks, again directly in front of his father. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Maybe not. But who’s fault is that, eh? Who drummed those feelings out of me as a poor innocent child, huh?!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“Oh spare me. You were dissecting insects in the back yard by the time you were two years old. The writing was on the wall. You were always going to be a monster. Nothing we ever said or did was going to change that.” </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Bullshit!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“No! FACT. You know what your first word was, Sammy? I do. I’ll never forget it. We found you prodding at a dead squirrel one day in the street and you said “blood”. That was your first word. BLOOD.”</span><br />
<br />
Sam screwed his face up in a sneer. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“I don’t remember that.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“Of course not. You were too little.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“What horseshit!”</span> Sam threw his hands up in the air. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“You’re spinning yarns old man. And by the way, what the hell is up with your voice? You’re not exactly sounding like yourself.” </span>Sam smirked. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Maybe it’s just the weakness in you finally bubbling to the surface.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“Yeah. Maybe.” </span>Matthew mock conceded. <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“But the point is, you were always doomed to be what you are. A desperate, angry, malicious child pining for respect that will always be beyond your grasp. You think your coworkers in the XWF will ever respect you, Sammy? You can’t win a match without somebody interfering on your behalf. You think people don’t see that? You think that won’t put a big red asterisk on every one of your achievements?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Oh how old school of you. Emphasis on OLD. You think when my tale is written they’ll remember how I got to the promised land? You think they’ll care? Nobody cares old man! Besides, you’re a fine fuckin’ one to talk about cheating your way to the top.” </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Um….master….?”</span> an Insignificant called out from down the hall. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“WHAT?! Can’t you see I’m having my last ever conversation with the fossil?!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Well….um….there’s a helicopter….and…..”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“A what?”</span><br />
<br />
And that was when Sam became aware of a rhythmic thumping sound coming from outside, followed by the sight of a chopper roaring off into the distance. Sam narrowed his eyes at the retreating aircraft, but then suddenly his eyes widened again in realization. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Fuck!”</span> Sam took Matthew X’s head in his and jerked it to the side. He saw what he feared he would see. Surgical scars outlining the side of the man’s face. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“This isn’t my father! It’s just a decoy! FUCK ME!” </span><br />
<br />
The Matthew X decoy started to laugh. <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“Mission accomplished chucklefuck.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Menschy, KILL HIM!”</span><br />
<br />
The Ubermensch wrapped both of his massive hands around the sides of the decoy’s skull and started to press inward. The decoy tried to maintain his composure in light of the crushing pain, but soon started to scream. Eventually, his head popped like a water filled balloon, eyes exploding out of their sockets as the skull gave way with a sickening crunch. Blood pooled out of the man’s eye holes and ears and the Ubermensch dropped the body disdainfully to the floor. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Meanwhile…</span></span><br />
<br />
Kevin Collins looked down at his own bullet riddled corpse. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Huh. I guess that means I’m dead. Well, at least I died in the service of the biggest big dick playa in all the land! Now onto Heaven, where I’m sure a bevy of big tittied angels await! </span><br />
<br />
Kevin’s spirit raised his arms in the air and leapt not so mightily in the direction of the heavens above. Naturally, he returned forthwith to terra firma. Looking about curiously, he tried to jump towards heaven again, but was unsuccessful once more. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Damn! When do I get to go to….</span><br />
<br />
But his thought was interrupted by the sight of a scowling Samael Dyson and his entourage emerging from the mansion. Kevin started to beam instantly. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Master! Master, can you hear me?!</span><br />
<br />
Nobody responded to Kevin’s query, or even recognized he was there at all. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Of course not you idiot, you’re invisible to the living! </span>He chastised himself for his stupidity, much as he did in life. However, Kevin soon noticed a peculiar sight. The evening sun had cast not one but two shadows in Samael’s wake. Kevin cocked his ghostly head in confusion. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">What the….?</span><br />
<br />
Kevin studied the dual shadows, until one of them started to differentiate itself from the other. It started to grow larger, slowly at first but then quickening until it was an opaque mass that was starting to overtake the battlefield whole. It was also at that point that Kevin noticed the souls of some of the other battlefield dead prying themselves loose from their broken bodies. But then, to his horror, the growing shadow started to envelop the other souls as it spread, sucking them down into its inky blackness. Most of the souls struggled to resist the unnatural darkness, screaming in terror as they were engulfed. Screams that were privy only to the dead.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Oh no….oh shit!</span><br />
<br />
Kevin cursed as he turned to run, but the mounting darkness had grown too fast and Kevin soon felt it tugging at his ankles. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">No,no,no!</span><br />
<br />
Kevin faltered as thin tendrils of pure shadow suddenly wrapped around his calves. And, not exactly an athlete in life and so too in death, Kevin’s strength and will were quickly broken and he was pulled down beneath the black surface. Kevin screamed just as the others had screamed as he plunged beneath, not so much drowned as devoured. His consciousness was snuffed in an instant, nought but feed for the formless cosmic horror that had affixed itself to Samael Dyson. <br />
<br />
Sam ceased his grousing as he stepped amongst the casualties just long enough to cast a look back at the dead. Not out of some sense of sorrow or respect, but curiosity. His eyes narrowed as he beheld them. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Did any of you hear that?” </span><br />
<br />
He looked back at his acolytes, who all shrugged and shook their heads “no”. Then, returning his gaze to the corpses, he too shrugged demurely. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Thought I heard something. Eh. Fuck it.”</span> Then, to the Ubermensch. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Menschy, get me the car. Let’s get the hell outta here. I’m sick of looking at this place already.”</span><br />
<br />
Yet, somewhere deep in the furthest recesses of time and space, something inhuman cackled as it completed its latest meal courtesy of its human host. <br />
<br />
Now onto the XWF, it purred.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Kevin Collins tossed his keys on the cheap thrift store kitchen table and crossed into his diminutive living room, where his bulky 280 pound frame collapsed forlornly onto the couch. Another unsuccessful Tinder date had come and gone, and once again his company for the evening had excused herself to the restroom and failed to return. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">What am I doing wrong?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Was it because I used a dash of AI to make myself look like Jensen Ackles in my profile pic?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Did I talk too much about my action figure collection?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Was she not interested in the fact that I have every single movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe on Blu Ray?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">I mean…how could she NOT be interested?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Probably because she’s a cunt.</span><br />
<br />
Kevin groused. <br />
<br />
The unkissed 43 year old cast a glance at the scantily clad statuette of a questionably of age demon girl that adorned his end table. The one with the plastic rubbed away on the nipples from persistent fondling. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Why can’t real girls be more like anime girls?</span><br />
<br />
He pondered as he tried not to think about the tube of sleeping pills in the bathroom that were once again calling out to him to sleep forevermore. But who was he kidding?<br />
<br />
He was too much of a pussy to kill himself. <br />
<br />
It was then that a knock at the door interrupted his suicidal recrimations. With more than a twinge of curiosity, Kevin uprooted himself from the couch with a groan of exertion. Nobody ever visited him. Who could it be? <br />
<br />
Going to the door, he opened it, disclosing nought but an empty hallway. Looking left, and then right, he saw no trace of anyone. But then, looking down, his curiosity was piqued still further when he saw an old VCR with a crude note reading “Play Me” taped to it. Kevin picked up the outmoded technology and brought it to the living room. Hooking up the vintage hardware took some doing, but lets be honest, people like Kevin have nothing but time. Once completed, Kevin hit play and sat down to watch. <br />
<br />
At first, the cassette within displayed nothing but a blare of static. But once that was in the rearview, a young man appeared on the screen. Kevin recognized him instantly. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Samael Dyson!”</span> Kevin called out jubilantly. <br />
<br />
Samael proceeded to speak directly into the camera, his tone haughty and matter of fact.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Greetings peon! Today is the best day of your life! Yes, better than the day you discovered online pornography. Better than the day you first discovered you could splooge out a teaspoon of baby batter to girls who would never give you the time of day in the real world. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Because today is the day Samael Dyson came into your miserable, pointless existence. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">You probably know who I am. Champion. Wrestling God. Big dick sex haver. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">In short, everything you are not. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">But have no fear! Today I am here to offer you purpose! Meaning! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Now I’m not going to lie to you and suggest you’re something special. I am, after all, the main character of your story. But what I am offering is a place by my side as one of my score of nameless Insignificants!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">What?! ME?! An Insignificant!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Yes you! Granted, there’s no money. No benefits. In point of fact, you’ll practically be homeless. But just think about it, being in close proximity to ME day in and day out. Doing my bidding. Doing all the shit I’m too important to do myself. Why, you might even get lucky one day and I’ll let you sleep on the end of my bed.”</span><br />
<br />
And so Samael continued on…and on….and on….but Kevin wasn’t remotely noticing the minutes ticking by. So enrapt was he by the power of Samael’s words, so ensnared was he by the nigh supernatural presence of the Xtreme Champion. <br />
<br />
And when it was all said and done, just like so many scores of others, Kevin would slowly, reverently, pull that paper sack down over his head, and in so doing feel a sort of wholeness. Meaning had found him.<br />
<br />
Finally he was part and parcel of something MORE.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">THREE WEEKS LATER…</span></span><br />
<br />
Samael pulled the Insignificant formerly known as Kevin Collins in front of him to absorb the savage rain of ammunition spilling down from the watchtower. Kevin’s body juked and jived in its death throes, and Samael casually tossed his corpse aside just as Elektra fired a rocket launcher at the guard tower, setting off a surface to air missile that obliterated it and the enemy Rollerwhores therein. <br />
<br />
Sam pulled another Insignificant in front of him as a human shield as they made their way to the main gate. Another duo of assault rifle wielding Rollerwhores skated up to the gate, opening fire. But Samael’s Insignificants responded in kind and the ‘Whores dropped dead after a brief exchange of gunfire. Sam hunkered down against the wall next to the gate when he felt his ass start to thrum and vibrate. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Oh what the fuck!”</span> Sam cussed as he pulled his cell phone out. He watched as the semtex charge was affixed to the gate as he took note of who was calling and rolled his eyes in irritation before answering.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff56ff;" class="mycode_color">“Don’t roll your eyes at me! You have a 24/7 briefcase because of me!!”</span> Korvayne spoke.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“How the fuck did you know I was rolling my eyes?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff56ff;" class="mycode_color">“Call it a woman's intuition. But at any rate we need to talk about this Bad Medicine match.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“What about it?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff56ff;" class="mycode_color">“You OWE me, Sam!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“.....and?” </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff56ff;" class="mycode_color">“And you’re going to keep Charlie Nickles off my ass so I don’t lose my….”</span> She pauses, finally catching on to the sounds of combat behind Samael. <span style="color: #ff56ff;" class="mycode_color">“What the hell is going on out there?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“I’m raiding my father’s compound to kill him.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff56ff;" class="mycode_color">“Oh. Cool.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Yeah.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“So anyway I’m kinda fuckin’ busy right now. Could we have this discussion….”</span> And that was when a stray bullet took out the phone and knocked it from his hands. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Fucker!” </span>Then, turning to Violet and Elektra as they finished planting the charge on the gate, <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“That ready to go?”</span><br />
<br />
They both nodded in unison and skated to the far side of the wall where they flattened down protectively. Elektra produced the detonator and pressed it, and in a flash the gate was blown inward into a smoking pile of twisted rebar.    <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“HELL YEAH!”</span> Sam cheered, pumping a fist in the air. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Okay, now go, go, GO!”</span> Sam urged his minions onward, the Rollerwhores, the Ubermensch, and scores of gun toting Insignificants.<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color"> “Don’t worry about me, I’m just gonna chill here for a bit. Cut this bitchin’ ass promo.” </span>Samael’s shield Insignificant starts to leave when Sam grabs him by the collar and yanks him back. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Not you. I need someone to soak up all the bullets that come my way.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Oh yes, master! Okay master!”</span><br />
<br />
Sam nods at the Insignificant as the patter of gunfire explodes just beyond the ruined gate. The champion then turns towards the camera, smirking wildly.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Yes folks, today is the day of RECKONING! My father finally pays the price for interfering in my plans and trying to kill me. But more so than that, it’s a day of celebration! Because Bad Medicine marks the first day of the rest of the mighty Dyson empire. Longest reigning Xtreme champion in years! 24/7 briefcase holder! And soon to be your next Universal Champion! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Now, I’m not necessarily saying that shit’s going down at Bad Medicine. Am I cashing in on July 19th? Heh. Maybe! Maybe not. But the fact is that so long as I hold that briefcase, the shadow I cast over the entire XWF is long and perilous. And thus I only increase my mystique and the stranglehold I have over this entire company. The XWF is like a criminal waiting at the gallows for that floor to drop out. No one knows exactly when, or exactly how, but rest assured your necks are going to SNAP, your eyes are gonna bug out your skulls, and you're gonna fill your slacks with so, so much post mortem SHIT that people are gonna have to wear Hazmat suits just to move the body!”</span><br />
<br />
Samael holds up a hand as a large BOOM resounds in the distance. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“But perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. There are more near and present events that demand my attention….that demand my….my…..” </span><br />
<br />
Sam collapses into laughter. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Oh who the fuck am I kidding! I finally get to dogwalk Charlie Nickles at Bad Medicine and it is going to be fucking glorious! The only thing this “demands” is me trying not to pop a massive boner as I slam my iron gauntlet into those thick Cheeto stained jowls of his. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">FIVE MONTHS, UP-CHUCK!  Five months you’ve tried to take the Xtreme from me. Five months of ambushes. Five months of surprise pins and blindsiding attacks. And what has it gotten you?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Nothing. No, worse than nothing! It’s shattered your credibility in ways that even I can not fully elucidate! I mean, you’d think at least one of these 30-odd attempts would have been successful, but nope! Not for fuck up Chuck! And to keep coming back only to get rebuffed and embarrassed over and over….Jesus Christ was this a KINK for you? Do you get off on the humiliation…the failure? It wouldn’t surprise me. You seem like the type. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">And yes Chuck, yes, I’m well aware that you’ve held more titles than me. I’m well aware of your LEGACY. But all that weight of years has got to do something to a man, especially in a promotion as hard as the XWF. And it has, Chuck. Because let’s face facts. You’ve fallen down a long way from that Universal Championship reign. As I’ve said before, this game is a game of “what have you done lately”, and lately? You’ve done nothing but game the Xtreme championship into pathetic week-long reigns between you and your sycophants and try to resuscitate the corpse of BOB, which like Bobby Bourbon’s brief return, literally nobody asked for. And let’s not forget how you’ve also allowed that parasitic waster Jordan Penn to suckle on you! I mean, the old Charlie Nickles would have recognized him for the abyss of weakness that he is and DESTROYED him. Instead, you coddled him into an inexplicable tag team title reign. Christ man, what HAPPENED to you? Why are you picking up scraps?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Man, fuck the TV Championship. The real test of a man is the Xtreme Championship. A title you’ve held for barely over a month between three different reigns. You know, one would have thought that that title was meant for you. Isn’t that your wheelhouse? The EXTREME? So why have you been so mediocre with it every single time you’ve had it? Could it be the great Charlie Nickles is less extreme than he lets on? Could he be nothing more than a pasty bloated soft belly with a pair of hairy c-cup titties?  </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">The answer belles and beasts is YES. Especially the titties. I can’t wait to slap those hairy milkers around at Bad Medicine.”</span><br />
<br />
Another prolific BOOM is heard in the near distance, but Sam doesn’t even flinch because that’s just how much of a big dick playa he is.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“In short Chuck, you peaked! Whereas I am everything you’re not. Young. Good looking. Filled with endless potential. Possessor of two functional testicles.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">You ask the world who set the XWF on fire lately and it sure as shit isn’t your tired ass. No! It’s the man who completed the Xtreme Championship briefcase run. The man who’s done something only a handful of people have done, and you don’t even need all the fingers on that hand. And there’s the rub Chuck. For all your vaunted championships. For all your accolades. For as much as you like to pride yourself on being a unique specimen of humanity, everything you’ve ever done has been just short of historic. You’ve attained the same old achievements scores of other people have. Never a King. Never a 24/7 briefcase holder. All those things that demarcate someone as being the very best of the best you’ve NEVER accomplished. Because when it comes to Charlie Nickles, good was always good enough. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">But motherfucker, I’m aiming for GREAT! And thus far my aim has been true. And it stays true at Bad Medicine, when I finally slough off your fat dumpy ass for good!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Master…MASTER! We’ve captured your father!”</span> an Insignificant calls out from the precipice of the ruined gate. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“HA! And in record time too! Take me to him.”</span> Samael commands as he sidles up next to the Insignificant with his second bullet shield Insignificant in tow. Together, they enter the compound, which consists of a mansion surrounded by high walls topped with razor wire and guard towers. The grounds are littered with the corpses of Samael’s father’s enemy Rollerwhores, and Samael’s own Insignificants. Soon after Sam steps onto the battlefield, a mortally wounded Insignificant crawls over to him. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Master….we won! We…..*BLLLEURGHHHHHH!*” </span>the Insignificant vomits up a copious amount of blood on Samael's shoes. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Eugh! Fuckin’ GROSS!”</span> Sam scowls and kicks the dying Insignificant away. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah….Korvayne.” </span>Sam walks and talks as he’s led further into the bloodstained compound. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Kor…Kor….Kor….management is doing what they ALWAYS do. Trying to undermine and stymie me at every turn. Yeah, okay, they kind of threw me a bone with Tommy Gunn and his guys, but that was just to keep up appearances. After all, how did Kristoffer get under that ring in the first place with nobody on the crew noticing? Bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">And now MORE bullshit. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">They’re trying to break us up already, my dear sweet artiste. Trying to stir the pot, get us at each other’s throats! But we’re not going to let that happen, are we? No. Why? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Because they’re fucking stupid!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">I mean, if management really wanted us to have a go at each other, they would have made this shit one on one, title versus title. But that, in their infinite lack of wisdom, is NOT what they did. Nope! Instead, what they gave us was a convenient patsy to use and abuse to ensure we BOTH walk out of here with our titles reigns intact. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">Kor, it’s so simple! All we have to do is gang up on and pin Charlie Nickles for both falls and we both walk out of Bad Medicine with what we came in with. Easy peasy baby. All we gotta do is stick to the plan.”</span><br />
<br />
Samael quirks an eyebrow. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Right? Because we ARE gonna stick to that plan, eh? There’s really no need for either of us to grabby now, is there?  </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">I mean, I know my championship is attractive. Second grandest title in all the land. Key to what amounts to a free pass at any other championship of your choice (if you’re good enough). </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">But let me be clear. I’m not done with it. And that goes whether you’re an ally or an enemy. You see, when I pissed right in Dexter Bright’s face that was more than a statement. It was a PROPHECY. I’m breaking his record with this title and I’m going down in history as the greatest XTreme champion of all time. Engy, Fuzz, and Unknown Soldier can all GET FUCKED.”</span><br />
<br />
He throws up a middle finger at the camera. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Besides, you guys are pulling double duty. How much are you going to have in the tank when you have to step to a WRESTLING GOD like me? Not much! But that’s okay, ‘Kor. You’ll have me as a backup. Charlie on the other hand? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">You’re boned. And not in the fun way.”</span><br />
<br />
As Samael continued his rant, he was led further and further into his father’s stately home. Finally arriving at a set of brass double doors, he paused a moment to look at the massive painting above them. It was a portrait of his father in the nude, looking robust, and seated with a Rollerwhore on each knee. Clearly the apple didn’t fall far from the proverbial tree. Sam chuckled as he passed through the open doors into a marble hallway, where that same man was on his knees, grimacing thanks to a bullet wound in his shoulder. Violet, Elektra, and the Ubermensch stood over him triumphantly. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #4cea5e;" class="mycode_color">“Wir haben Euren Vater erfolgreich gefangen genommen, Meister!” </span>the Übermensch stated proudly. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Still have no idea what the fuck you’re saying big guy, but it doesn’t matter. This is one of the best goddamn days of my life.”</span><br />
<br />
Matthew X, the man who sired the gleeful monster approaching him, cracked a smile despite his circumstances. <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“I’m so glad I could do that for you.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!”</span> Samael bent low to leer at his father. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“You can engage in all the cheeky meaningless banter you want. Until I decide it’s time for you to die, that is.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“Then why don’t you just get it over with?”</span><br />
<br />
Sam stood up. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Nah. I’m gonna savor this shit.”</span> He paced around his father, his eyes never leaving the man's head. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“I bet you’re really kicking yourself now.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“Why’s that?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Because all you had to do to avoid this fate was leave me the fuck alone! Unlike mother, I actually RESPECTED you. Maybe even kinda loved you….”</span><br />
<br />
Matthew X chortled. <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“You’re not capable of love.”</span><br />
<br />
Sam stopped in his tracks, again directly in front of his father. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Maybe not. But who’s fault is that, eh? Who drummed those feelings out of me as a poor innocent child, huh?!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“Oh spare me. You were dissecting insects in the back yard by the time you were two years old. The writing was on the wall. You were always going to be a monster. Nothing we ever said or did was going to change that.” </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Bullshit!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“No! FACT. You know what your first word was, Sammy? I do. I’ll never forget it. We found you prodding at a dead squirrel one day in the street and you said “blood”. That was your first word. BLOOD.”</span><br />
<br />
Sam screwed his face up in a sneer. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“I don’t remember that.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“Of course not. You were too little.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“What horseshit!”</span> Sam threw his hands up in the air. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“You’re spinning yarns old man. And by the way, what the hell is up with your voice? You’re not exactly sounding like yourself.” </span>Sam smirked. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Maybe it’s just the weakness in you finally bubbling to the surface.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“Yeah. Maybe.” </span>Matthew mock conceded. <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“But the point is, you were always doomed to be what you are. A desperate, angry, malicious child pining for respect that will always be beyond your grasp. You think your coworkers in the XWF will ever respect you, Sammy? You can’t win a match without somebody interfering on your behalf. You think people don’t see that? You think that won’t put a big red asterisk on every one of your achievements?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Oh how old school of you. Emphasis on OLD. You think when my tale is written they’ll remember how I got to the promised land? You think they’ll care? Nobody cares old man! Besides, you’re a fine fuckin’ one to talk about cheating your way to the top.” </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Um….master….?”</span> an Insignificant called out from down the hall. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“WHAT?! Can’t you see I’m having my last ever conversation with the fossil?!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">“Well….um….there’s a helicopter….and…..”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“A what?”</span><br />
<br />
And that was when Sam became aware of a rhythmic thumping sound coming from outside, followed by the sight of a chopper roaring off into the distance. Sam narrowed his eyes at the retreating aircraft, but then suddenly his eyes widened again in realization. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Fuck!”</span> Sam took Matthew X’s head in his and jerked it to the side. He saw what he feared he would see. Surgical scars outlining the side of the man’s face. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“This isn’t my father! It’s just a decoy! FUCK ME!” </span><br />
<br />
The Matthew X decoy started to laugh. <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">“Mission accomplished chucklefuck.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Menschy, KILL HIM!”</span><br />
<br />
The Ubermensch wrapped both of his massive hands around the sides of the decoy’s skull and started to press inward. The decoy tried to maintain his composure in light of the crushing pain, but soon started to scream. Eventually, his head popped like a water filled balloon, eyes exploding out of their sockets as the skull gave way with a sickening crunch. Blood pooled out of the man’s eye holes and ears and the Ubermensch dropped the body disdainfully to the floor. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Meanwhile…</span></span><br />
<br />
Kevin Collins looked down at his own bullet riddled corpse. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Huh. I guess that means I’m dead. Well, at least I died in the service of the biggest big dick playa in all the land! Now onto Heaven, where I’m sure a bevy of big tittied angels await! </span><br />
<br />
Kevin’s spirit raised his arms in the air and leapt not so mightily in the direction of the heavens above. Naturally, he returned forthwith to terra firma. Looking about curiously, he tried to jump towards heaven again, but was unsuccessful once more. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Damn! When do I get to go to….</span><br />
<br />
But his thought was interrupted by the sight of a scowling Samael Dyson and his entourage emerging from the mansion. Kevin started to beam instantly. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Master! Master, can you hear me?!</span><br />
<br />
Nobody responded to Kevin’s query, or even recognized he was there at all. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Of course not you idiot, you’re invisible to the living! </span>He chastised himself for his stupidity, much as he did in life. However, Kevin soon noticed a peculiar sight. The evening sun had cast not one but two shadows in Samael’s wake. Kevin cocked his ghostly head in confusion. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">What the….?</span><br />
<br />
Kevin studied the dual shadows, until one of them started to differentiate itself from the other. It started to grow larger, slowly at first but then quickening until it was an opaque mass that was starting to overtake the battlefield whole. It was also at that point that Kevin noticed the souls of some of the other battlefield dead prying themselves loose from their broken bodies. But then, to his horror, the growing shadow started to envelop the other souls as it spread, sucking them down into its inky blackness. Most of the souls struggled to resist the unnatural darkness, screaming in terror as they were engulfed. Screams that were privy only to the dead.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Oh no….oh shit!</span><br />
<br />
Kevin cursed as he turned to run, but the mounting darkness had grown too fast and Kevin soon felt it tugging at his ankles. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">No,no,no!</span><br />
<br />
Kevin faltered as thin tendrils of pure shadow suddenly wrapped around his calves. And, not exactly an athlete in life and so too in death, Kevin’s strength and will were quickly broken and he was pulled down beneath the black surface. Kevin screamed just as the others had screamed as he plunged beneath, not so much drowned as devoured. His consciousness was snuffed in an instant, nought but feed for the formless cosmic horror that had affixed itself to Samael Dyson. <br />
<br />
Sam ceased his grousing as he stepped amongst the casualties just long enough to cast a look back at the dead. Not out of some sense of sorrow or respect, but curiosity. His eyes narrowed as he beheld them. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Did any of you hear that?” </span><br />
<br />
He looked back at his acolytes, who all shrugged and shook their heads “no”. Then, returning his gaze to the corpses, he too shrugged demurely. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Thought I heard something. Eh. Fuck it.”</span> Then, to the Ubermensch. <span style="color: #ff4136;" class="mycode_color">“Menschy, get me the car. Let’s get the hell outta here. I’m sick of looking at this place already.”</span><br />
<br />
Yet, somewhere deep in the furthest recesses of time and space, something inhuman cackled as it completed its latest meal courtesy of its human host. <br />
<br />
Now onto the XWF, it purred.]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Lane'l Pennyfarthing in "This Song Ain't the Only Thing That Slaps, Yo!"]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50284</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jul 2026 22:53:46 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=3139">Sir Lionel Pennyfarthing</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50284</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[FIREWORKS!<br />
<br />
EXPLOSIONS!<br />
<br />
Lane’l Pennyfarthing blows through a curtain, air-guitaring toward a press conference table.<br />
<br />
A banner hangs…<br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">LOVERBOY: THE VINNIE LANE STORY</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Press peeps and amigos with award-season-voting-power…”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">“YOU READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOCK?!?”</span><br />
<br />
Many overlapping questions!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Wow! Y’all are jazz-oohed through the wazoo, huh? We’ll start with… Sayors, my hombre!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">”Mister Pennyfarthing. You’re facing legendary slap-fighter Kentucky Taggart in a Power Slap Fight…”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Totes! Part of my movie promotion obligations is WRASSLIN’! I’m proud to be Lane and get insane!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">”On the topic of insanity… Are you insane?”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Perdón?”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">”Sorry, I’ll rephrase. Are you aware that Tuck smacked the taste from a man’s mouth?”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Haha, fun idiom, Steve, bu-”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">”Not an idiom. He smacked a man so hard, he can no longer taste.”</font><br />
<br />
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/Qs4Rxwm/75ef63b3-2aa9-4226-bde7-bee6fec97785.png" alt="75ef63b3 2aa9 4226 bde7 bee6fec97785" border="0" width="500" height=”500”><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Well. Maybe that guy’s chin was SAAAWFT, yo! I got my Vinnie-like face by gettin’ hammered! WITH HAMMERS!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">”And are you aware Tuck constructed his bar exclusively with smacks because he claimed… Hammers are for carpetbaggers?”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Let’s give someone else a turn, Steve-oh. You!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="red">”XWF Legal Department. Post-mortem, would you like to donate your facial remains to smack-based science?”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Yooooo! I’ve smacked down many clowns! Oz! Furry! Y’all think I can’t eat a Kentucky-fried smack snack!?!”</span><br />
<br />
The journalists huddle…<br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
They turn back.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">”No, we don’t.”</font><br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Gulp.”</span><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”…shit!”</span><br />
<br />
Inside Lane’l’s dressing room, he’s shoving wigs and costumes into a duffel bag!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Okay… just gotta… steal the reels, finish the movie under an assumed name in… Mexico?”</span><br />
<br />
…He eyes his dressing room mirror.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Wait. Does Mexico have Oscars?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Totes. They’re called the <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Ignacios</span>. Not to <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">beso</span>-and-<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">dice</span>, but one <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Ignacios</span>, I got a <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">trabajo de mano</span> from Gloria Estefan.”</span><br />
<br />
Lane’l’s reflection winks.<br />
<br />
…Lane’l blinks.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”…Shit, did I go too method and do whippets again?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”L-man! It’s me, Vinnie! Why you packin’? Our destination is POWERSLAP CITY!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”DUDE! Kentucky will smack my skull to SHARDS!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”YOU wanted this part, yo! Wanna play Loverboy? It ain’t all guns ‘n roses! Welcome to the Jungle!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Getting smacked around IS the Loverboy experience! I’ve been hit with chairs, electrocuted, lobotomized… I even got #MeToo’d!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Hence why the film ends in 2020 with a title card reading ‘AND NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED TO VINNIE’.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”I ate smacks and made fat stacks! Without those smacks, could I have become Uni champ? Entered the Hall of Legends?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...True…”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Could I have crossed the Delaware to stop the Germans from trapping Cherie in an empty refrigerator?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">” ...ex-squeeze me?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”My girl Punky was there!”</span><br />
<br />
Vinnie nods toward the corner.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Right, Punky?”</span><br />
<br />
…The corner’s empty.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Haha, Punky, that’s not how you pronounce ‘macaroni’!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...My imaginary friend has an imaginary friend… and a concussion history.”</span> <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Dawg, you GOTTA beat this Tuck dork! For freedom!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Freedom?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Tuck’s a bouncer, dude! Bouncers are, like… concert cops! Smackin’ down the people’s right to a good time! Tommy Jefferson wrote that into the Constitution between giving Betsy Ross stripes and leaving her seeing stars! America, yo!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Vinnie, I’m British.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Britain’s just Original Recipe America! Somewhere in you is a right hand begging to smack any fool telling him to turn it down!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Turn it down? Sounds like the reviews of my one-man show… Referring to both my acting AND my microphone…”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Dawg! Critics are … art cops! Blasting sirens when you’re flowin’ down Creativity Boulevard! Is art made by coloring inside lines?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”NAY, SIR! Art is WROUGHT from delving into humanity’s darkest pits, wrenching out something REAL.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”That’s ROCK!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Rock?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”That voice tellin’ you to crank that ten-dial volume to THIRTEEN! When squares say turn it down, you introduce them to FIVE FINGERS!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”C’mon, we got smacks to dish out.”</span><br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Do I… take the mirror with me?”</span><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">TRASH TALK MUSIC VIDEO!</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/SRwrg0db_zY?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
Lane’l emerges onto a stage before a packed arena!<br />
<br />
A buff dude with ‘BOUNCER’ across his t-sirt smacks attendees, ordering them to quiet down!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Gotta start the SHOW!”<br />
<br />
“Ladies scream my name, but a dork in the crowd tells ‘em...”<br />
<br />
“NO!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">(NO!)</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">“WhoaWhoa-WhoaWhoa-Whooooooooooooa!!”</span><br />
<br />
The Bouncer orders hotties not to dance!<br />
<br />
One babe raises a ‘LOVERBOY’ sign... The Bouncer SMACKS it from her hands! <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Feel that buuuuuurnin’ rage!”<br />
<br />
“You’re smackin’ ‘round the people, puttin’ all my fans in a…”<br />
<br />
“CAGE!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">(CAGE)</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">“That! Ain’t! ROOOOOOOOOCK!”</span><br />
<br />
Lane’l storms toward him!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Think you’re badass, Tuck?”<br />
<br />
“You’re a dweeb, killin’ the parteeeeeeeeee!”<br />
<br />
“These people wanna ROCK! You SHUT! THAT! DOWN!?!?”<br />
<br />
“Man, you’re a COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">(THWOP)</span></span></font></div>
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<br />
RIGHT-HAND SLAP!<br />
<br />
The Bouncer spins twice!<br />
<br />
The people scream in celebration!<br />
<br />
The Bouncer goes to Suh-MACK Lane’l!<br />
<br />
…Lane’l’s face barely moves!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Ya hit like a COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">(THWOP)</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
Open-hand LEFT!<br />
<br />
The Bouncer’s been BOUNCED!!<br />
<br />
Later, the Bouncer’s at home…<br />
<br />
He’s on an XWF message board… talking shit about Anarchy?!?<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”And I goooooooooootta say!”<br />
<br />
“Tuck’s stalking Oz, challenging that punk to slap-fights, that’s…”<br />
<br />
“LAME!”<br />
<br />
(LAME!)<br />
<br />
“LameLame-LameLame-LAAAAAAAAAME!”</span><br />
<br />
He web-surfs to IMDB!<br />
<br />
Lane’l’s movie has a perfect rating!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Wanna hunt, ‘Tough Guy’?”<br />
<br />
“You’re shooting fish inside a barrel, TELL! ME!…”<br />
<br />
“WHY?”<br />
<br />
(WHY!)<br />
<br />
“Gettin’ kinda saaaaaaaaaaad.”</span><br />
<br />
He sneers jealously, scrolling through rave reviews!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”You got the stuff to swing at tougher folks, Kentuckiiiiiiiiie.”<br />
<br />
“You’d rather pick on chumps? You TO-TAL CREEP!”</span><br />
<br />
He spitefully clicks ONE-Star!<br />
<br />
Lane’l BURSTS through the wall!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”You’re such a COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">(THWOP)</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
DOUBLE-HAND SMACK!<br />
<br />
The Bouncer’s skull slams THROUGH his monitor!<br />
<br />
SPARKS FLY!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Gonna make you DROP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">(THWOP)</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
Lane’l SMACKS the monitor’s side! It explodes into circuits! The Bouncer FLOPS prone!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Use your face like a… MOP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">(THWOP)</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
Lane’l SMACKS the prone fool, sending him face-first across the floor! <br />
<br />
GUITAR SOLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!<br />
<br />
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/cWcvJ1qLz2I?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
An officer writes Lane’l a noise citation.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">SMACKED!</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
A librarian fines him &#36;0.15.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">SMACKED!</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
A buffet sign reads ‘One Plate Per Customer’...<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">SMACKED!</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”We’re DONE! WITH! COPS!”</span><br />
<br />
Someone turns down Lane’l’s music…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">SMACKED!</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
An editor trims an unnecessary scene in Lane’l’s movie…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">SMACKED!</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
Elon Musk informs Lane’l he can’t say anti-police rhetoric!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">SMACKED!</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”We’re DONE! WITH! COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS!”</span><br />
<br />
Lane’l SMACKS ELON!<br />
<br />
ELON FLIES OUTTA XWF HEADQUARTERS!<br />
<br />
THROUGH THE SKY!<br />
<br />
INTO THE SUN!<br />
<br />
EXPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSION! <div class="flash-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.flashInit){const f=document.createElement('div');f.id='flash-overlay';f.style.cssText='position:fixed;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;background:#fff;z-index:999999;pointer-events:none;opacity:0;transition:opacity 0.05s;';document.body.appendChild(f);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.flash-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';const o=document.getElementById('flash-overlay');o.style.opacity='1';setTimeout(()=>{o.style.opacity='0';},100);}});});window.flashInit=true;}</script><div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
THE WORLD APPLAUDS! GLOBAL STANDING OVATION!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Hear all those hands slappin’, Tuck?”<br />
<br />
“Them’s the hands comin’ straight for your face!”</span>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[FIREWORKS!<br />
<br />
EXPLOSIONS!<br />
<br />
Lane’l Pennyfarthing blows through a curtain, air-guitaring toward a press conference table.<br />
<br />
A banner hangs…<br />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">LOVERBOY: THE VINNIE LANE STORY</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Press peeps and amigos with award-season-voting-power…”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">“YOU READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOCK?!?”</span><br />
<br />
Many overlapping questions!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Wow! Y’all are jazz-oohed through the wazoo, huh? We’ll start with… Sayors, my hombre!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">”Mister Pennyfarthing. You’re facing legendary slap-fighter Kentucky Taggart in a Power Slap Fight…”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Totes! Part of my movie promotion obligations is WRASSLIN’! I’m proud to be Lane and get insane!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">”On the topic of insanity… Are you insane?”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Perdón?”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">”Sorry, I’ll rephrase. Are you aware that Tuck smacked the taste from a man’s mouth?”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Haha, fun idiom, Steve, bu-”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">”Not an idiom. He smacked a man so hard, he can no longer taste.”</font><br />
<br />
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/Qs4Rxwm/75ef63b3-2aa9-4226-bde7-bee6fec97785.png" alt="75ef63b3 2aa9 4226 bde7 bee6fec97785" border="0" width="500" height=”500”><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Well. Maybe that guy’s chin was SAAAWFT, yo! I got my Vinnie-like face by gettin’ hammered! WITH HAMMERS!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="dodgerblue">”And are you aware Tuck constructed his bar exclusively with smacks because he claimed… Hammers are for carpetbaggers?”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Let’s give someone else a turn, Steve-oh. You!”</span><br />
<br />
<font color="red">”XWF Legal Department. Post-mortem, would you like to donate your facial remains to smack-based science?”</font><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Yooooo! I’ve smacked down many clowns! Oz! Furry! Y’all think I can’t eat a Kentucky-fried smack snack!?!”</span><br />
<br />
The journalists huddle…<br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
They turn back.<br />
<br />
<font color="red">”No, we don’t.”</font><br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Gulp.”</span><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”…shit!”</span><br />
<br />
Inside Lane’l’s dressing room, he’s shoving wigs and costumes into a duffel bag!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Okay… just gotta… steal the reels, finish the movie under an assumed name in… Mexico?”</span><br />
<br />
…He eyes his dressing room mirror.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Wait. Does Mexico have Oscars?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Totes. They’re called the <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Ignacios</span>. Not to <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">beso</span>-and-<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">dice</span>, but one <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">Ignacios</span>, I got a <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">trabajo de mano</span> from Gloria Estefan.”</span><br />
<br />
Lane’l’s reflection winks.<br />
<br />
…Lane’l blinks.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”…Shit, did I go too method and do whippets again?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”L-man! It’s me, Vinnie! Why you packin’? Our destination is POWERSLAP CITY!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”DUDE! Kentucky will smack my skull to SHARDS!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”YOU wanted this part, yo! Wanna play Loverboy? It ain’t all guns ‘n roses! Welcome to the Jungle!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Getting smacked around IS the Loverboy experience! I’ve been hit with chairs, electrocuted, lobotomized… I even got #MeToo’d!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Hence why the film ends in 2020 with a title card reading ‘AND NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED TO VINNIE’.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”I ate smacks and made fat stacks! Without those smacks, could I have become Uni champ? Entered the Hall of Legends?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...True…”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Could I have crossed the Delaware to stop the Germans from trapping Cherie in an empty refrigerator?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">” ...ex-squeeze me?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”My girl Punky was there!”</span><br />
<br />
Vinnie nods toward the corner.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Right, Punky?”</span><br />
<br />
…The corner’s empty.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Haha, Punky, that’s not how you pronounce ‘macaroni’!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...My imaginary friend has an imaginary friend… and a concussion history.”</span> <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Dawg, you GOTTA beat this Tuck dork! For freedom!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Freedom?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Tuck’s a bouncer, dude! Bouncers are, like… concert cops! Smackin’ down the people’s right to a good time! Tommy Jefferson wrote that into the Constitution between giving Betsy Ross stripes and leaving her seeing stars! America, yo!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Vinnie, I’m British.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Britain’s just Original Recipe America! Somewhere in you is a right hand begging to smack any fool telling him to turn it down!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Turn it down? Sounds like the reviews of my one-man show… Referring to both my acting AND my microphone…”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”Dawg! Critics are … art cops! Blasting sirens when you’re flowin’ down Creativity Boulevard! Is art made by coloring inside lines?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”NAY, SIR! Art is WROUGHT from delving into humanity’s darkest pits, wrenching out something REAL.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”That’s ROCK!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”...Rock?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”That voice tellin’ you to crank that ten-dial volume to THIRTEEN! When squares say turn it down, you introduce them to FIVE FINGERS!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff1493;" class="mycode_color">”C’mon, we got smacks to dish out.”</span><br />
<br />
…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Do I… take the mirror with me?”</span><br />
<br />
<hr class="mycode_hr" />
<br />
<center><table cellpadding="30" border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="60%"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="black" background="http://i.imgur.com/SZ5atbH.png"><font color="white">TRASH TALK MUSIC VIDEO!</font></td></tr></table></center><br />
<br />
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/SRwrg0db_zY?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
Lane’l emerges onto a stage before a packed arena!<br />
<br />
A buff dude with ‘BOUNCER’ across his t-sirt smacks attendees, ordering them to quiet down!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Gotta start the SHOW!”<br />
<br />
“Ladies scream my name, but a dork in the crowd tells ‘em...”<br />
<br />
“NO!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">(NO!)</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">“WhoaWhoa-WhoaWhoa-Whooooooooooooa!!”</span><br />
<br />
The Bouncer orders hotties not to dance!<br />
<br />
One babe raises a ‘LOVERBOY’ sign... The Bouncer SMACKS it from her hands! <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Feel that buuuuuurnin’ rage!”<br />
<br />
“You’re smackin’ ‘round the people, puttin’ all my fans in a…”<br />
<br />
“CAGE!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">(CAGE)</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">“That! Ain’t! ROOOOOOOOOCK!”</span><br />
<br />
Lane’l storms toward him!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Think you’re badass, Tuck?”<br />
<br />
“You’re a dweeb, killin’ the parteeeeeeeeee!”<br />
<br />
“These people wanna ROCK! You SHUT! THAT! DOWN!?!?”<br />
<br />
“Man, you’re a COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">(THWOP)</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
RIGHT-HAND SLAP!<br />
<br />
The Bouncer spins twice!<br />
<br />
The people scream in celebration!<br />
<br />
The Bouncer goes to Suh-MACK Lane’l!<br />
<br />
…Lane’l’s face barely moves!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Ya hit like a COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">(THWOP)</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
Open-hand LEFT!<br />
<br />
The Bouncer’s been BOUNCED!!<br />
<br />
Later, the Bouncer’s at home…<br />
<br />
He’s on an XWF message board… talking shit about Anarchy?!?<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”And I goooooooooootta say!”<br />
<br />
“Tuck’s stalking Oz, challenging that punk to slap-fights, that’s…”<br />
<br />
“LAME!”<br />
<br />
(LAME!)<br />
<br />
“LameLame-LameLame-LAAAAAAAAAME!”</span><br />
<br />
He web-surfs to IMDB!<br />
<br />
Lane’l’s movie has a perfect rating!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Wanna hunt, ‘Tough Guy’?”<br />
<br />
“You’re shooting fish inside a barrel, TELL! ME!…”<br />
<br />
“WHY?”<br />
<br />
(WHY!)<br />
<br />
“Gettin’ kinda saaaaaaaaaaad.”</span><br />
<br />
He sneers jealously, scrolling through rave reviews!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”You got the stuff to swing at tougher folks, Kentuckiiiiiiiiie.”<br />
<br />
“You’d rather pick on chumps? You TO-TAL CREEP!”</span><br />
<br />
He spitefully clicks ONE-Star!<br />
<br />
Lane’l BURSTS through the wall!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”You’re such a COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">(THWOP)</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
DOUBLE-HAND SMACK!<br />
<br />
The Bouncer’s skull slams THROUGH his monitor!<br />
<br />
SPARKS FLY!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Gonna make you DROP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">(THWOP)</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
Lane’l SMACKS the monitor’s side! It explodes into circuits! The Bouncer FLOPS prone!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Use your face like a… MOP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">(THWOP)</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
Lane’l SMACKS the prone fool, sending him face-first across the floor! <br />
<br />
GUITAR SOLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!<br />
<br />
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/cWcvJ1qLz2I?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
An officer writes Lane’l a noise citation.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">SMACKED!</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
A librarian fines him &#36;0.15.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">SMACKED!</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
A buffet sign reads ‘One Plate Per Customer’...<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">SMACKED!</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”We’re DONE! WITH! COPS!”</span><br />
<br />
Someone turns down Lane’l’s music…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">SMACKED!</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
An editor trims an unnecessary scene in Lane’l’s movie…<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">SMACKED!</span></span></font></div>
<div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
Elon Musk informs Lane’l he can’t say anti-police rhetoric!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”COP!”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><font color="white"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">SMACKED!</span></span></font></div>
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<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”We’re DONE! WITH! COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS!”</span><br />
<br />
Lane’l SMACKS ELON!<br />
<br />
ELON FLIES OUTTA XWF HEADQUARTERS!<br />
<br />
THROUGH THE SKY!<br />
<br />
INTO THE SUN!<br />
<br />
EXPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSION! <div class="flash-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.flashInit){const f=document.createElement('div');f.id='flash-overlay';f.style.cssText='position:fixed;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;background:#fff;z-index:999999;pointer-events:none;opacity:0;transition:opacity 0.05s;';document.body.appendChild(f);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.flash-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';const o=document.getElementById('flash-overlay');o.style.opacity='1';setTimeout(()=>{o.style.opacity='0';},100);}});});window.flashInit=true;}</script><div class="shake-trigger" style="height:1px;"></div><script>if(!window.shakeInit){const s=document.createElement('style');s.innerHTML='@keyframes shake{0%{transform:translate(1px,1px) rotate(0deg)}10%{transform:translate(-1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}20%{transform:translate(-3px,0px) rotate(1deg)}30%{transform:translate(3px,2px) rotate(0deg)}40%{transform:translate(1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}50%{transform:translate(-1px,2px) rotate(-1deg)}60%{transform:translate(-3px,1px) rotate(0deg)}70%{transform:translate(3px,1px) rotate(-1deg)}80%{transform:translate(-1px,-1px) rotate(1deg)}90%{transform:translate(1px,2px) rotate(0deg)}100%{transform:translate(1px,-2px) rotate(-1deg)}}.shake-active{animation:shake 0.5s; animation-iteration-count:1;}';document.head.appendChild(s);window.addEventListener('scroll',()=>{document.querySelectorAll('.shake-trigger').forEach(t=>{const r=t.getBoundingClientRect();if(r.top>0&&r.top<400&&!t.dataset.fired){t.dataset.fired='true';document.body.classList.add('shake-active');setTimeout(()=>{document.body.classList.remove('shake-active');},500);}});});window.shakeInit=true;}</script><br />
<br />
THE WORLD APPLAUDS! GLOBAL STANDING OVATION!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #E6E6FA;" class="mycode_color">”Hear all those hands slappin’, Tuck?”<br />
<br />
“Them’s the hands comin’ straight for your face!”</span>]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Pickin' Up The Pieces]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50279</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jul 2026 16:29:18 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=2213">(Gravy_Xtreme_5000)</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50279</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/C7VAQjzROz0?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><img src="https://i.postimg.cc/sXqfR3rG/Gravy-The-Barbarian2.png" loading="lazy"  alt="[Image: Gravy-The-Barbarian2.png]" class="mycode_img" /></div>
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Sebastian Everett-Bryce built himself an empire.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">That's what the sign said anyway.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">WELCOME TO THE SEB EMPIRE</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Somebody slapped that shit across this big stone archway in gold. Even had little flags hanging off the top and Sebastian's stupid face carved into both sides.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">They'd chiseled his jaw stronger than in real life.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">That big stupid arch sat there mocking Gravy.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Huh..."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He reached up and dug his thumbnail into one of the gold letters.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The paint chipped right off.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Cheap fucker."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He wiped the shiny shit onto his chest, already itching to break more.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">From a distance, the city looked nice. White buildings. Shiny roofs. Big towers sticking up everywhere. Statues. Fountains. People wandering around in clean clothes, smiling like the whole damn place wasn't one hard sneeze away from falling over.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">But up close?<br />
<br />
It looked like shit.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">One wall had a crack running from the foundation all the way to the top. Somebody had hung a banner down the side to try and hide it.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">There were workers on damn near every roof. Hammering. Painting. Carrying chunks of rock around. One guy was holding up a gold piece of trim trying to nail it back on.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stopped to watch.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The hammer missed its mark and smashed his thumb.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">"DAMNIT!"</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy laughed and kept walking.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">In the middle of the street stood a statue of Sebastian holding the Universal Championship over his head. He had one boot planted on some generic enemy. Whoever it was didn't have a face.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Probably saved money on royalties that way.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy circled it a few times in awe.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He leaned in and read the little gold plaque.</span></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">SEBASTIAN EVERETT-BRYCE</span></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">CONQUEROR. BUILDER. KING.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked up at the statue.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Really? Conqueror my ass."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He slapped the side of it.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It echoed like an empty barrel.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Well, that ain't good."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Please do not touch the monument."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">Gravy turned to find a skinny little fella standing behind him in purple robes. He had a stack of papers tucked under one arm and a gold necklace with Sebastian's face stamped on it.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He looked like the kinda guy who got real upset whenever somebody folded the corner of a book page.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy locked eyes with him and slapped the statue again.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The skinny man flinched.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I said, please do not touch it!"</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Yeah, I heard ya."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Then why did you do it again?"</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy shrugged.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Cause I can."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The man sucked air through his nose.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That monument was commissioned personally by His Majesty to commemorate the beginning of a new age."</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked at the statue and then back at him.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Who's the fella under his boot supposed to be?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The man glanced down at the faceless body.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"It is meant to represent the past."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Past got tits?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair glanced at the suspiciously rounded chest.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"It is symbolic."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Of Sebastian steppin' on some bitch?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I didn't sculpt it!"</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Well, don't yell at me!"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The man closed his eyes for a second.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"My name is Alistair. I am the official historian and Royal Curator of the SEB Empire."</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy nodded slowly.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Okay..."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy just kept staring at him.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That means I am responsible for preserving the history of this kingdom."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Oh."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked him up and down.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"So you know where all the good shit is?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I beg your pardon?"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"The important places. Throne room. Treasure room. Secret tunnels. Where Sebastian keeps his little crown when he's sleepin'."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair took a step back.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I will not assist you in robbing His Majesty!"</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Wasn't askin'."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy grabbed a fistful of robe and started walking.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair did his best to keep up.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Wh... what are you doing!?"</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You're givin' me a tour."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I absolutely am not!"</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stopped and looked over his shoulder.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You wanna do it walkin', or you wanna do it with two broken legs and me draggin' you by that stupid necklace?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"...walking would be preferable."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Smart man."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy let him go.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair straightened his robes while muttering something under his breath.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"What was that?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I merely said His Majesty built this empire from nothing... <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i"><span style="font-size: xx-small;" class="mycode_size">while men like you only know how to destroy.</span></span>"</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked around.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">A worker was spreading fresh white paint over a burnt patch on the side of a building.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The paint was thin and the black kept bleeding through.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy poked the wall. It was brittle and crumbled when he touched it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair hurried over.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Please stop damaging the construction!"</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy glanced at him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Thought you said he built it from nothin'."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"He did..."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"This wall don't look like nothin'."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Well... Some parts were restored."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy grinned.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Restored."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"The city suffered considerable damage before His Majesty's rise."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Yeah, I know."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"He built this grand empire over the conquered land that lay here before."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">He looked around at all the rushed paintin’. The shitty carpentry. The workers slavin’ away, probably doin’ it for free.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Oh, I get it."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I'm not sure that you do!"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"No, no. I seen this shit before."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy wiped the paint onto Alistair's robe.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Sebastian's doin' a landlord special."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair looked down at the white smear.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"A what?"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Don't worry about it."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy rested his axe across his shoulder.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"C'mon, history boy."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy started walking deeper into the city.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Don't make me turn around..."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">After a few seconds, Alistair followed.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The street led into a courtyard surrounded by tall white columns.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">At the top of a long set of stairs sat another big building with Sebastian's face carved above the doors.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Of course it fucking was.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">THE HALL OF NEW BEGINNINGS</span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stopped at the bottom of the steps.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"What's this shit?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair cleared his throat.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"The Hall of New Beginnings records His Majesty's many triumphs over adversity."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Got a gift shop?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"No."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Bathroom?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"It is a museum!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked up at the building again.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"BORING!"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He started up the stairs.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair hurried after him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"You should understand that the exhibits within are considered sacred."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Should I?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Yes."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"I don't."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">Gravy shoved the doors hard. It sounded like a cannon as they slammed against the inner walls.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Paintings covered both sides of the room. Each had a light shining on it like somebody was scared you might miss how important it was.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The first one Gravy approached showed Sebastian on his knees, a dark shadow looming over him while another man held the Universal Championship over his head.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The plaque beneath it read:</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">THE LOSS THAT TAUGHT A KING TO FOCUS</span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy squinted.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Who'd he lose to?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Prince Adeyemi. A loss that occurred because His Majesty allowed personal conflict to cloud his focus."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Don't got his name anywhere on that plaque?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"The identity of the opponent is not the important part."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Heh, yeah. I bet Isaiah thinks different."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He kept walking.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">THE MOMENT A KING REMEMBERED ONE OPPORTUNITY WAS ALL HE NEEDED</span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stood in front of that one longer than the last.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He looked at Sebastian sitting against the barricade in the painting. The artist had made him look thoughtful and deep. Gravy thought he looked like somebody had just kicked the piss out of him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"What happened here?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty was eliminated from the March Madness tournament."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"First round, right? Pffft, loser..."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair shifted uncomfortably.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That detail is not especially relevant."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy smiled.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Yeah, I bet it ain't."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty suffered a temporary setback and used it to rediscover his path."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Sounds like His Majesty shit the bed."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"He learned."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"He lost."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"He grew."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Still lost."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair tightened his jaw.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"You seem determined to misunderstand the point of this place!"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"No, I understand it just fine. Every time Sebastian is defeated, somebody writes a fancy little sentence underneath it and presents it as somethin' other than what it is. Lots of losers do that."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty has never hidden from his failures!"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Never said he hid from 'em."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">At the far end of the hall stood the biggest exhibit yet.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">A massive painting showed Sebastian climbing out of darkness with the briefcase in one hand and the other reaching for the Universal Championship floating in the heavens.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">FROM IRRELEVANCE TO IMMORTALITY</span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Something about the gold lettering didn't sit right. Wrong color. Wrong texture.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy didn't ask permission this time. He just walked up and dug his fingers in.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Don't!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It peeled away from the stone.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It wasn't painted onto the wall. Just a thin sheet of gold leaf stuck over something grey.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Please!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy hooked his fingers underneath it and yanked.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The sheet tore away as Alistair gasped like he'd just seen a baby's head ripped off right in front of him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Carved deep into old stone underneath were five words.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #aaaaaa;" class="mycode_color">SEBASTIAN EVERETT-BRYCE WAS UTTERLY IRRELEVANT</span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy read it and looked at Alistair.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Well, that's mean."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That is a dated inscription that has since been revised."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"The old one looks pretty permanent to me."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty confronted and overcame that moment of weakness."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy rubbed his hand over the carved letters.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">They were deep.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Deeper than the fresh shit Sebastian had stuck over them.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Nah. He said it out loud, felt real smart about knowin’ it, even took the time to inscribe it into stone.<br />
<br />
But somebody should have told Sebastian that paintin’ over the truth don’t make it less fuckin’ true."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair opened his mouth to say something, but Gravy drove the axe into the wall before he could.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The stone split straight through the word <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">irrelevant</span>.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair jumped.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"C'mon."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"What are you doing!?"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked past a set of tall windows to the tallest tower in the empire.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"I wanna see what else the son of a bitch is hiding."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He headed for the doors.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair hurried after him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The tower sat in the center of the city like a giant middle finger.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">THE EVERETT-BRYCE TOWER OF PERMANENCE</span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stared at it for a moment.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Permanence?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"The tower represents everything His Majesty has built. A legacy that will stand long after all of us are gone."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy pointed halfway up.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"It's leanin'."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"It is not."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Yeah it is."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair looked.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It was.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"A trick of the light!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy walked toward it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Stones were all jumbled like a bad puzzle.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy scratched at the mortar holding them together.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It came loose like dried out cake icing.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"What's this one?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He tapped a polished white stone with the head of his axe.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair hesitated.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That came from the original Everett-Bryce estate."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"So his daddy's house."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His family's estate."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Daddy's house."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy moved his axe toward a rough grey stone.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That belonged to Ralf."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Who's Ralf?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty's mentor."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy nodded.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"So that ain't his neither."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That is not the point."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy tapped another.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">This one had a faded crown carved into it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That came from the tower His Majesty built with Isaiah King."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Didn't that one fall?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair's face soured.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"They rebuilt."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Seems they're missing a piece."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Near the center sat a bright gold block.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It was newer than everything around it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Let me guess. Scoops?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair lifted his chin proudly.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"The final piece. His Majesty defeated the one man he believed he could not beat and completed the tower."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy nodded.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Yeah. He beat Scoops."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair seemed surprised.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"You admit that?"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Course I do. I ain't blind."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stepped around the side of the tower.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Back here, the foundation was old and charred.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">His smile disappeared.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He knew those stones.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He remembered the fire.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He remembered what stood here before Sebastian slapped his name all over it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair hurried around the corner.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"You are not permitted back here."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy placed his hand against the blackened foundation.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"These are mine."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"No, they're part of the kingdom that came before."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked at him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Mine."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty took what was left and made it greater."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy turned back toward the tower.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">All those stones stacked on top of Graves' ruins and held together with cheap mortar.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Funny. You once promised to use the stones from somebody else's fallen tower to strengthen your own.<br />
<br />
Guess you never thought the bastard you stole ’em from would come take one back."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy wedged the blade of his axe into the foundation.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Do not remove that stone!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">Dust poured from the cracks as he pulled.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That is part of the foundation!"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"I know!"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He planted his boot against the wall and pulled harder.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Finally, the stone tore free causing the tower to groan and lean a little more.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He dropped the stone in the street and took a seat, resting his axe on his knees as he looked toward the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Now let's talk about that belt."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">High above the palace, a banner of Sebastian snapped in the wind. His chin was lifted and one hand raised like he was blessing the poor bastards beneath him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Around his waist, the Universal Championship shined brighter than everything else in the empire.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stared at it for a second as Alistair looked up at the leaning tower.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"You have no idea what you've done!"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Sure I do. <br />
<br />
I pulled one stone.<br />
<br />
That's all it took."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He looked back to the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You hearin' this, Sebastian?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair glanced toward the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty cannot hear you from here."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy picked up a piece of broken stone and threw it at him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It bounced off Alistair's forehead.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Wasn't talkin' to you."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair rubbed the fresh red spot between his eyes.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You got a real cute hustle, Sebastian.<br />
<br />
Every time somebody gets close to the truth, you beat 'em there and hang a fuckin' plaque on it. Every failure becomes another brave little chapter."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He shrugged.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"And people eat that shit up.<br />
<br />
Ain't Sebastian brave? Standin' there in his expensive fuckin' suit, admitting everything to the world.<br />
<br />
Pfft, that's just you pleading guilty to the lesser charge so nobody goes lookin' for the body.<br />
<br />
You don't fix your failures, you just hide them under gold."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Workers scrambled to brace the leaning tower. </span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Then call the whole fuckin' thing architecture.<br />
<br />
You learned how to make failure sound almost intentional, and described the damage so beautifully that nobody noticed you were still fuckin' broken.<br />
<br />
I seen you walk through those doors with Betsy too.<br />
<br />
Arms around each other. Big smiles plastered across your faces for the fans and cameras.<br />
<br />
Then the door shut...<br />
<br />
And Betsy starts preachin’ about corporate puppets and rich assholes pullin’ everybody’s strings while standin’ beside a billionaire with an empire on his back.<br />
<br />
But Sebastian’s different, right?<br />
<br />
Course you are.<br />
<br />
You don’t hate empires.<br />
<br />
You hate any empire that don't have your initials carved over the fuckin’ door.<br />
<br />
You asked Korvayne who she was buildin’ for.<br />
<br />
I know who you're building for.<br />
<br />
You.<br />
<br />
This whole place is Sebastian Everett-Bryce reminding Sebastian Everett-Bryce that he still matters."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The tower groaned behind him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy didn't bother looking.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You beat Scoops fair and square. You stood across from the one man you kept tellin' yourself you couldn't beat, and you fuckin' did it.<br />
<br />
And won the Universal Championship to boot. <br />
<br />
Good for you.<br />
<br />
But I cleared the fuckin' field before you ever got there."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stood from the stone.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"March Madness?<br />
<br />
You got tossed out in round one and found yourself wonderin' if you still mattered."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He pointed toward himself.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"I made it all the way to the fuckin' final.<br />
<br />
And yeah... I lost.<br />
<br />
Scoops beat me that night because I looked across the ring and saw an old fool running on borrowed time. <br />
<br />
So I underestimated him.<br />
<br />
Mistook desperation for weakness. <br />
<br />
And he made me pay for it.<br />
<br />
Then I got back up and kept mowing through the roster like it never happened.<br />
<br />
You?<br />
<br />
Your ass ain't fought since May.<br />
<br />
Funny thing is, this ain't even the first time you disappeared in the middle of a fight.<br />
<br />
Remember the Director?<br />
<br />
Spent half that match pullin' your strings, reactin' to whatever bullshit he dropped.<br />
<br />
Then you finally figured him out.<br />
<br />
He needed Sebastian Everett-Bryce dancin' like a puppet.<br />
<br />
So you sat your ass down and did absolutely nothin' until he couldn't stand it anymore.<br />
<br />
Smart.<br />
<br />
You beat a man obsessed with control by refusing to give him any."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He scratched his beard and looked toward the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Then after winnin' the Universal Championship you apparently decided that oughta be your whole fuckin' career strategy.<br />
<br />
You called it recovery.<br />
<br />
I call it what it is. You got what you wanted, then let everybody else fight while waitin' for the story to come find you."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He laughed.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Well, I found you, Sebastian!<br />
<br />
But I ain't comin' outta some hidden panel.<br />
<br />
I'm walkin' straight through your fuckin' city!"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked toward the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"That belt tells you people still gotta look at you.<br />
<br />
Say your name like it matters.<br />
<br />
Pretend like you sit at the center of the fuckin’ universe.<br />
<br />
That belt ain’t your crown.<br />
<br />
It’s fuckin’ life support.<br />
<br />
And the funniest part?<br />
<br />
Soon as they hooked you up to it, you stopped showin’ everybody you were still alive.<br />
<br />
See, you knew what to do when you were chasin’ that belt.<br />
<br />
Whenever you fell on your ass, you could stand back up, straighten that expensive suit and tell everybody what Sebastian Everett-Bryce learned about himself this week before taking those lessons into the next.<br />
<br />
Then you finally won the gold, and the story stopped.<br />
<br />
Because now fallin' on your ass means losing it all.<br />
<br />
You know how to need that championship, Sebastian, but you've forgotten how to be the fuckin’ champion.<br />
<br />
A champion takes that belt back into the ring and makes everybody come take their shot.<br />
<br />
But you? You took it home and created a fuckin’ hostage situation."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He lifted the axe onto his shoulder.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"I don’t need that gold to convince myself I matter.<br />
<br />
All I need it for is proof.<br />
<br />
Proof that I can take the most important thing in your whole fuckin’ life...<br />
<br />
And wear it like it ain’t nothin’ special.<br />
<br />
They threw the number two ranked Game Girl at me.<br />
<br />
I beat her.<br />
<br />
And the number one ranked Dickie Watson.<br />
<br />
Beat him too!<br />
<br />
All while you were hidin’ behind those palace walls, polishin’ your new belt and waitin’ for somebody to notice you’d disappeared.<br />
<br />
I kept turnin’ bodies into a road leading straight to your front fuckin’ door.<br />
<br />
You didn’t conquer an empire, Sebastian.<br />
<br />
You stumbled into the ruins after I killed the king...<br />
<br />
Found Scoops sittin’ on a throne I’d already ripped loose from the fuckin’ floor, and convinced yourself it had been waitin’ for you all along."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair stepped forward, offended.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty earned that championship!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy spun and drove the axe blade into the ground inches from Alistair’s foot, knocking him backward.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"I fuckin’ said he did, didn’t I?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He ripped the axe free.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"That’s what makes this worth doin’."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He turned back toward the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You earned it, Sebastian.<br />
<br />
You fought for it. You bled for it.<br />
<br />
And winning it was supposed to prove you were fixed.<br />
<br />
Relevant again.<br />
<br />
But what's more relevant, the king hiding with his gold, or the warrior tearing through the battlefield?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy slapped his chest.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Yeah! And now I’m gonna rip the greatest accomplishment of your life outta your hands and leave you with nobody to blame but yourself.<br />
<br />
You fucked up.<br />
<br />
You blabbed to Thad about that bad neck of yours like it was another pretty confession, but all you did was hand me the map.<br />
<br />
Now I know exactly where to keep pressin'.<br />
<br />
When that title starts slippin' and your body can't protect the one thing your whole identity depends on...<br />
<br />
You're gonna have to look me in the eye and admit the man who needed that championship more than anything couldn’t keep it from this savage."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy started walking toward the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You told Isaiah he needed somebody to be pissed at before his dick worked.<br />
<br />
You ain't no different.<br />
<br />
You just need gold.<br />
<br />
With that championship, you're content.<br />
<br />
And without it, you're right back against that barricade, watchin' the world prove it don't need ya.<br />
<br />
Like I said at Warfare...<br />
<br />
You didn't choose me, Sebastian.<br />
<br />
You got chosen for me."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Another chunk of stone broke loose from the tower and crashed into the street.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You pasted gold over the sad truth...<br />
<br />
And I'm gonna rip it off your waist.<br />
<br />
Then we'll see the broken man hidin' underneath."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy kept walking.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Behind him, the tower groaned again.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">A crack shot up through the stone, splitting Sebastian's giant golden initials right down the middle.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Workers scattered.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">One just stood there holding a hammer, watching everything he'd built fall apart around him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Run, dummy!"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The worker dropped the hammer and ran.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair chased after Gravy, holding one hand against his forehead.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"You have to stop!"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"No, I don't."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"The entire city could collapse!"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Good."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The palace gates came into view.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">They were massive.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gold bars stretched twenty feet into the air, sharpened at the top, with another sculpted Sebastian standing on each side.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">One Sebastian had a sword.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The other one held a book.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He pointed at the book.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Nerd."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">A line of guards rushed out from behind the gate, spears ready.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d6d6d6;" class="mycode_color">"HALT!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He didn't.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d6d6d6;" class="mycode_color">"DROP THE WEAPON!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked at his axe, then at them.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"No holds barred?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The first guard lunged. Gravy whipped the axe through the air and into his face, sending him crashing into the others.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">As he tore his axe free, blood sprayed across their faces.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">With a snarl, he raised his blood soaked axe and beckoned them forward.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Within seconds, the line broke.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">One guard even dropped his spear and played dead.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Smart man."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair stopped behind him, out of breath.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Please... stop."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">As he reached the palace gates, a heavy gold chain held them shut.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He lifted the axe.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair grabbed his arm.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty built something that matters!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy slowly looked down at Alistair's hand.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair quickly let go.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Maybe...<br />
<br />
But it ain't his land."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He brought the axe down.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The chain snapped and the gates swung open.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He walked through.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The throne room doors waited just ahead.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">They were covered in gold, with Sebastian’s crest front and center. So polished, he could see his own reflection staring back at him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Blood smeared face.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Axe in hand.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Big fuckin' smile.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">Behind him, the Tower of Permanence finally tapped out and </span><span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">crashed with a roar that shook all the way to the palace steps.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You preached about Babel.<br />
<br />
Said God tears towers down over arrogance.<br />
<br />
Then you built one with your name on every fuckin’ brick.<br />
<br />
Guess that's why he sent me."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair stared back at the wreckage.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy tightened his grip on the axe.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">With only a few swings, the crest split apart!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Then, with a roar, he drove his shoulder through the doors.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">They exploded inward as splintered wood scattered across the palace floor!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Resting his axe across his shoulder, he looked toward the terrified servants and guards waiting inside.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Tell Sebastian the thing he built over just kicked in his fuckin' door."</span></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><img src="https://i.postimg.cc/pXGbFsrK/throne.jpg" loading="lazy"  alt="[Image: throne.jpg]" class="mycode_img" /></div>
<br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Sebastian Everett-Bryce built himself an empire.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">That's what the sign said anyway.</span></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">WELCOME TO THE SEB EMPIRE</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Somebody slapped that shit across this big stone archway in gold. Even had little flags hanging off the top and Sebastian's stupid face carved into both sides.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">They'd chiseled his jaw stronger than in real life.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">That big stupid arch sat there mocking Gravy.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Huh..."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He reached up and dug his thumbnail into one of the gold letters.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The paint chipped right off.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Cheap fucker."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He wiped the shiny shit onto his chest, already itching to break more.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">From a distance, the city looked nice. White buildings. Shiny roofs. Big towers sticking up everywhere. Statues. Fountains. People wandering around in clean clothes, smiling like the whole damn place wasn't one hard sneeze away from falling over.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">But up close?<br />
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It looked like shit.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">One wall had a crack running from the foundation all the way to the top. Somebody had hung a banner down the side to try and hide it.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">There were workers on damn near every roof. Hammering. Painting. Carrying chunks of rock around. One guy was holding up a gold piece of trim trying to nail it back on.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stopped to watch.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The hammer missed its mark and smashed his thumb.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">"DAMNIT!"</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy laughed and kept walking.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">In the middle of the street stood a statue of Sebastian holding the Universal Championship over his head. He had one boot planted on some generic enemy. Whoever it was didn't have a face.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Probably saved money on royalties that way.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy circled it a few times in awe.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He leaned in and read the little gold plaque.</span></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">SEBASTIAN EVERETT-BRYCE</span></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b">CONQUEROR. BUILDER. KING.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked up at the statue.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Really? Conqueror my ass."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He slapped the side of it.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It echoed like an empty barrel.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Well, that ain't good."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Please do not touch the monument."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">Gravy turned to find a skinny little fella standing behind him in purple robes. He had a stack of papers tucked under one arm and a gold necklace with Sebastian's face stamped on it.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He looked like the kinda guy who got real upset whenever somebody folded the corner of a book page.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy locked eyes with him and slapped the statue again.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The skinny man flinched.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I said, please do not touch it!"</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Yeah, I heard ya."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Then why did you do it again?"</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy shrugged.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Cause I can."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The man sucked air through his nose.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That monument was commissioned personally by His Majesty to commemorate the beginning of a new age."</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked at the statue and then back at him.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Who's the fella under his boot supposed to be?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The man glanced down at the faceless body.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"It is meant to represent the past."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Past got tits?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair glanced at the suspiciously rounded chest.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"It is symbolic."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Of Sebastian steppin' on some bitch?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I didn't sculpt it!"</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Well, don't yell at me!"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The man closed his eyes for a second.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"My name is Alistair. I am the official historian and Royal Curator of the SEB Empire."</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy nodded slowly.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Okay..."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy just kept staring at him.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That means I am responsible for preserving the history of this kingdom."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Oh."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked him up and down.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"So you know where all the good shit is?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I beg your pardon?"</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"The important places. Throne room. Treasure room. Secret tunnels. Where Sebastian keeps his little crown when he's sleepin'."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair took a step back.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I will not assist you in robbing His Majesty!"</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Wasn't askin'."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy grabbed a fistful of robe and started walking.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair did his best to keep up.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Wh... what are you doing!?"</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You're givin' me a tour."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I absolutely am not!"</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stopped and looked over his shoulder.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You wanna do it walkin', or you wanna do it with two broken legs and me draggin' you by that stupid necklace?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"...walking would be preferable."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Smart man."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy let him go.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair straightened his robes while muttering something under his breath.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"What was that?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I merely said His Majesty built this empire from nothing... <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i"><span style="font-size: xx-small;" class="mycode_size">while men like you only know how to destroy.</span></span>"</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked around.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">A worker was spreading fresh white paint over a burnt patch on the side of a building.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The paint was thin and the black kept bleeding through.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy poked the wall. It was brittle and crumbled when he touched it.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair hurried over.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Please stop damaging the construction!"</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy glanced at him.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Thought you said he built it from nothin'."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"He did..."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"This wall don't look like nothin'."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Well... Some parts were restored."</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy grinned.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Restored."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"The city suffered considerable damage before His Majesty's rise."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Yeah, I know."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"He built this grand empire over the conquered land that lay here before."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">He looked around at all the rushed paintin’. The shitty carpentry. The workers slavin’ away, probably doin’ it for free.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Oh, I get it."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"I'm not sure that you do!"</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"No, no. I seen this shit before."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy wiped the paint onto Alistair's robe.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Sebastian's doin' a landlord special."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair looked down at the white smear.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"A what?"</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Don't worry about it."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy rested his axe across his shoulder.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"C'mon, history boy."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy started walking deeper into the city.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Don't make me turn around..."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">After a few seconds, Alistair followed.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The street led into a courtyard surrounded by tall white columns.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">At the top of a long set of stairs sat another big building with Sebastian's face carved above the doors.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Of course it fucking was.</span></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">THE HALL OF NEW BEGINNINGS</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stopped at the bottom of the steps.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"What's this shit?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair cleared his throat.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"The Hall of New Beginnings records His Majesty's many triumphs over adversity."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Got a gift shop?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"No."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Bathroom?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"It is a museum!"</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked up at the building again.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"BORING!"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He started up the stairs.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair hurried after him.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"You should understand that the exhibits within are considered sacred."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Should I?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Yes."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"I don't."</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">Gravy shoved the doors hard. It sounded like a cannon as they slammed against the inner walls.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Paintings covered both sides of the room. Each had a light shining on it like somebody was scared you might miss how important it was.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The first one Gravy approached showed Sebastian on his knees, a dark shadow looming over him while another man held the Universal Championship over his head.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The plaque beneath it read:</span></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">THE LOSS THAT TAUGHT A KING TO FOCUS</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy squinted.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Who'd he lose to?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Prince Adeyemi. A loss that occurred because His Majesty allowed personal conflict to cloud his focus."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Don't got his name anywhere on that plaque?"</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"The identity of the opponent is not the important part."</span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Heh, yeah. I bet Isaiah thinks different."</span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He kept walking.</span></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">THE MOMENT A KING REMEMBERED ONE OPPORTUNITY WAS ALL HE NEEDED</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stood in front of that one longer than the last.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He looked at Sebastian sitting against the barricade in the painting. The artist had made him look thoughtful and deep. Gravy thought he looked like somebody had just kicked the piss out of him.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"What happened here?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty was eliminated from the March Madness tournament."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"First round, right? Pffft, loser..."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair shifted uncomfortably.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That detail is not especially relevant."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy smiled.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Yeah, I bet it ain't."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty suffered a temporary setback and used it to rediscover his path."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Sounds like His Majesty shit the bed."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"He learned."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"He lost."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"He grew."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Still lost."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair tightened his jaw.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"You seem determined to misunderstand the point of this place!"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"No, I understand it just fine. Every time Sebastian is defeated, somebody writes a fancy little sentence underneath it and presents it as somethin' other than what it is. Lots of losers do that."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty has never hidden from his failures!"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Never said he hid from 'em."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">At the far end of the hall stood the biggest exhibit yet.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">A massive painting showed Sebastian climbing out of darkness with the briefcase in one hand and the other reaching for the Universal Championship floating in the heavens.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">FROM IRRELEVANCE TO IMMORTALITY</span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Something about the gold lettering didn't sit right. Wrong color. Wrong texture.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy didn't ask permission this time. He just walked up and dug his fingers in.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Don't!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It peeled away from the stone.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It wasn't painted onto the wall. Just a thin sheet of gold leaf stuck over something grey.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Please!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy hooked his fingers underneath it and yanked.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The sheet tore away as Alistair gasped like he'd just seen a baby's head ripped off right in front of him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Carved deep into old stone underneath were five words.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #aaaaaa;" class="mycode_color">SEBASTIAN EVERETT-BRYCE WAS UTTERLY IRRELEVANT</span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy read it and looked at Alistair.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Well, that's mean."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That is a dated inscription that has since been revised."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"The old one looks pretty permanent to me."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty confronted and overcame that moment of weakness."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy rubbed his hand over the carved letters.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">They were deep.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Deeper than the fresh shit Sebastian had stuck over them.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Nah. He said it out loud, felt real smart about knowin’ it, even took the time to inscribe it into stone.<br />
<br />
But somebody should have told Sebastian that paintin’ over the truth don’t make it less fuckin’ true."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair opened his mouth to say something, but Gravy drove the axe into the wall before he could.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The stone split straight through the word <span style="font-style: italic;" class="mycode_i">irrelevant</span>.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair jumped.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"C'mon."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"What are you doing!?"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked past a set of tall windows to the tallest tower in the empire.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"I wanna see what else the son of a bitch is hiding."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He headed for the doors.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair hurried after him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The tower sat in the center of the city like a giant middle finger.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="mycode_b"><span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">THE EVERETT-BRYCE TOWER OF PERMANENCE</span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stared at it for a moment.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Permanence?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"The tower represents everything His Majesty has built. A legacy that will stand long after all of us are gone."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy pointed halfway up.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"It's leanin'."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"It is not."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Yeah it is."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair looked.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It was.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"A trick of the light!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy walked toward it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Stones were all jumbled like a bad puzzle.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy scratched at the mortar holding them together.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It came loose like dried out cake icing.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"What's this one?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He tapped a polished white stone with the head of his axe.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair hesitated.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That came from the original Everett-Bryce estate."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"So his daddy's house."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His family's estate."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Daddy's house."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy moved his axe toward a rough grey stone.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That belonged to Ralf."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Who's Ralf?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty's mentor."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy nodded.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"So that ain't his neither."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That is not the point."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy tapped another.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">This one had a faded crown carved into it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That came from the tower His Majesty built with Isaiah King."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Didn't that one fall?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair's face soured.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"They rebuilt."</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Seems they're missing a piece."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Near the center sat a bright gold block.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It was newer than everything around it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Let me guess. Scoops?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair lifted his chin proudly.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"The final piece. His Majesty defeated the one man he believed he could not beat and completed the tower."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy nodded.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Yeah. He beat Scoops."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair seemed surprised.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"You admit that?"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Course I do. I ain't blind."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stepped around the side of the tower.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Back here, the foundation was old and charred.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">His smile disappeared.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He knew those stones.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He remembered the fire.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He remembered what stood here before Sebastian slapped his name all over it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair hurried around the corner.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"You are not permitted back here."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy placed his hand against the blackened foundation.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"These are mine."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"No, they're part of the kingdom that came before."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked at him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Mine."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty took what was left and made it greater."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy turned back toward the tower.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">All those stones stacked on top of Graves' ruins and held together with cheap mortar.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Funny. You once promised to use the stones from somebody else's fallen tower to strengthen your own.<br />
<br />
Guess you never thought the bastard you stole ’em from would come take one back."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy wedged the blade of his axe into the foundation.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Do not remove that stone!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">Dust poured from the cracks as he pulled.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"That is part of the foundation!"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"I know!"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He planted his boot against the wall and pulled harder.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Finally, the stone tore free causing the tower to groan and lean a little more.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He dropped the stone in the street and took a seat, resting his axe on his knees as he looked toward the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Now let's talk about that belt."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">High above the palace, a banner of Sebastian snapped in the wind. His chin was lifted and one hand raised like he was blessing the poor bastards beneath him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Around his waist, the Universal Championship shined brighter than everything else in the empire.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stared at it for a second as Alistair looked up at the leaning tower.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"You have no idea what you've done!"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Sure I do. <br />
<br />
I pulled one stone.<br />
<br />
That's all it took."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He looked back to the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You hearin' this, Sebastian?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair glanced toward the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty cannot hear you from here."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy picked up a piece of broken stone and threw it at him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">It bounced off Alistair's forehead.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Wasn't talkin' to you."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair rubbed the fresh red spot between his eyes.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You got a real cute hustle, Sebastian.<br />
<br />
Every time somebody gets close to the truth, you beat 'em there and hang a fuckin' plaque on it. Every failure becomes another brave little chapter."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He shrugged.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"And people eat that shit up.<br />
<br />
Ain't Sebastian brave? Standin' there in his expensive fuckin' suit, admitting everything to the world.<br />
<br />
Pfft, that's just you pleading guilty to the lesser charge so nobody goes lookin' for the body.<br />
<br />
You don't fix your failures, you just hide them under gold."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Workers scrambled to brace the leaning tower. </span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Then call the whole fuckin' thing architecture.<br />
<br />
You learned how to make failure sound almost intentional, and described the damage so beautifully that nobody noticed you were still fuckin' broken.<br />
<br />
I seen you walk through those doors with Betsy too.<br />
<br />
Arms around each other. Big smiles plastered across your faces for the fans and cameras.<br />
<br />
Then the door shut...<br />
<br />
And Betsy starts preachin’ about corporate puppets and rich assholes pullin’ everybody’s strings while standin’ beside a billionaire with an empire on his back.<br />
<br />
But Sebastian’s different, right?<br />
<br />
Course you are.<br />
<br />
You don’t hate empires.<br />
<br />
You hate any empire that don't have your initials carved over the fuckin’ door.<br />
<br />
You asked Korvayne who she was buildin’ for.<br />
<br />
I know who you're building for.<br />
<br />
You.<br />
<br />
This whole place is Sebastian Everett-Bryce reminding Sebastian Everett-Bryce that he still matters."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The tower groaned behind him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy didn't bother looking.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You beat Scoops fair and square. You stood across from the one man you kept tellin' yourself you couldn't beat, and you fuckin' did it.<br />
<br />
And won the Universal Championship to boot. <br />
<br />
Good for you.<br />
<br />
But I cleared the fuckin' field before you ever got there."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy stood from the stone.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"March Madness?<br />
<br />
You got tossed out in round one and found yourself wonderin' if you still mattered."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He pointed toward himself.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"I made it all the way to the fuckin' final.<br />
<br />
And yeah... I lost.<br />
<br />
Scoops beat me that night because I looked across the ring and saw an old fool running on borrowed time. <br />
<br />
So I underestimated him.<br />
<br />
Mistook desperation for weakness. <br />
<br />
And he made me pay for it.<br />
<br />
Then I got back up and kept mowing through the roster like it never happened.<br />
<br />
You?<br />
<br />
Your ass ain't fought since May.<br />
<br />
Funny thing is, this ain't even the first time you disappeared in the middle of a fight.<br />
<br />
Remember the Director?<br />
<br />
Spent half that match pullin' your strings, reactin' to whatever bullshit he dropped.<br />
<br />
Then you finally figured him out.<br />
<br />
He needed Sebastian Everett-Bryce dancin' like a puppet.<br />
<br />
So you sat your ass down and did absolutely nothin' until he couldn't stand it anymore.<br />
<br />
Smart.<br />
<br />
You beat a man obsessed with control by refusing to give him any."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He scratched his beard and looked toward the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Then after winnin' the Universal Championship you apparently decided that oughta be your whole fuckin' career strategy.<br />
<br />
You called it recovery.<br />
<br />
I call it what it is. You got what you wanted, then let everybody else fight while waitin' for the story to come find you."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He laughed.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Well, I found you, Sebastian!<br />
<br />
But I ain't comin' outta some hidden panel.<br />
<br />
I'm walkin' straight through your fuckin' city!"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked toward the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"That belt tells you people still gotta look at you.<br />
<br />
Say your name like it matters.<br />
<br />
Pretend like you sit at the center of the fuckin’ universe.<br />
<br />
That belt ain’t your crown.<br />
<br />
It’s fuckin’ life support.<br />
<br />
And the funniest part?<br />
<br />
Soon as they hooked you up to it, you stopped showin’ everybody you were still alive.<br />
<br />
See, you knew what to do when you were chasin’ that belt.<br />
<br />
Whenever you fell on your ass, you could stand back up, straighten that expensive suit and tell everybody what Sebastian Everett-Bryce learned about himself this week before taking those lessons into the next.<br />
<br />
Then you finally won the gold, and the story stopped.<br />
<br />
Because now fallin' on your ass means losing it all.<br />
<br />
You know how to need that championship, Sebastian, but you've forgotten how to be the fuckin’ champion.<br />
<br />
A champion takes that belt back into the ring and makes everybody come take their shot.<br />
<br />
But you? You took it home and created a fuckin’ hostage situation."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He lifted the axe onto his shoulder.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"I don’t need that gold to convince myself I matter.<br />
<br />
All I need it for is proof.<br />
<br />
Proof that I can take the most important thing in your whole fuckin’ life...<br />
<br />
And wear it like it ain’t nothin’ special.<br />
<br />
They threw the number two ranked Game Girl at me.<br />
<br />
I beat her.<br />
<br />
And the number one ranked Dickie Watson.<br />
<br />
Beat him too!<br />
<br />
All while you were hidin’ behind those palace walls, polishin’ your new belt and waitin’ for somebody to notice you’d disappeared.<br />
<br />
I kept turnin’ bodies into a road leading straight to your front fuckin’ door.<br />
<br />
You didn’t conquer an empire, Sebastian.<br />
<br />
You stumbled into the ruins after I killed the king...<br />
<br />
Found Scoops sittin’ on a throne I’d already ripped loose from the fuckin’ floor, and convinced yourself it had been waitin’ for you all along."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair stepped forward, offended.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty earned that championship!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy spun and drove the axe blade into the ground inches from Alistair’s foot, knocking him backward.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"I fuckin’ said he did, didn’t I?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He ripped the axe free.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"That’s what makes this worth doin’."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He turned back toward the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You earned it, Sebastian.<br />
<br />
You fought for it. You bled for it.<br />
<br />
And winning it was supposed to prove you were fixed.<br />
<br />
Relevant again.<br />
<br />
But what's more relevant, the king hiding with his gold, or the warrior tearing through the battlefield?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy slapped his chest.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Yeah! And now I’m gonna rip the greatest accomplishment of your life outta your hands and leave you with nobody to blame but yourself.<br />
<br />
You fucked up.<br />
<br />
You blabbed to Thad about that bad neck of yours like it was another pretty confession, but all you did was hand me the map.<br />
<br />
Now I know exactly where to keep pressin'.<br />
<br />
When that title starts slippin' and your body can't protect the one thing your whole identity depends on...<br />
<br />
You're gonna have to look me in the eye and admit the man who needed that championship more than anything couldn’t keep it from this savage."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy started walking toward the palace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You told Isaiah he needed somebody to be pissed at before his dick worked.<br />
<br />
You ain't no different.<br />
<br />
You just need gold.<br />
<br />
With that championship, you're content.<br />
<br />
And without it, you're right back against that barricade, watchin' the world prove it don't need ya.<br />
<br />
Like I said at Warfare...<br />
<br />
You didn't choose me, Sebastian.<br />
<br />
You got chosen for me."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Another chunk of stone broke loose from the tower and crashed into the street.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You pasted gold over the sad truth...<br />
<br />
And I'm gonna rip it off your waist.<br />
<br />
Then we'll see the broken man hidin' underneath."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy kept walking.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Behind him, the tower groaned again.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">A crack shot up through the stone, splitting Sebastian's giant golden initials right down the middle.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Workers scattered.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">One just stood there holding a hammer, watching everything he'd built fall apart around him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Run, dummy!"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The worker dropped the hammer and ran.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair chased after Gravy, holding one hand against his forehead.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"You have to stop!"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"No, I don't."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"The entire city could collapse!"</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Good."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The palace gates came into view.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">They were massive.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gold bars stretched twenty feet into the air, sharpened at the top, with another sculpted Sebastian standing on each side.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">One Sebastian had a sword.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The other one held a book.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He pointed at the book.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Nerd."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">A line of guards rushed out from behind the gate, spears ready.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d6d6d6;" class="mycode_color">"HALT!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He didn't.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d6d6d6;" class="mycode_color">"DROP THE WEAPON!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy looked at his axe, then at them.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"No holds barred?"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The first guard lunged. Gravy whipped the axe through the air and into his face, sending him crashing into the others.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">As he tore his axe free, blood sprayed across their faces.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">With a snarl, he raised his blood soaked axe and beckoned them forward.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Within seconds, the line broke.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">One guard even dropped his spear and played dead.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Smart man."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair stopped behind him, out of breath.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"Please... stop."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">As he reached the palace gates, a heavy gold chain held them shut.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He lifted the axe.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair grabbed his arm.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff857a;" class="mycode_color">"His Majesty built something that matters!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy slowly looked down at Alistair's hand.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair quickly let go.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Maybe...<br />
<br />
But it ain't his land."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He brought the axe down.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The chain snapped and the gates swung open.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">He walked through.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">The throne room doors waited just ahead.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">They were covered in gold, with Sebastian’s crest front and center. So polished, he could see his own reflection staring back at him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Blood smeared face.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Axe in hand.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Big fuckin' smile.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">Behind him, the Tower of Permanence finally tapped out and </span><span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">crashed with a roar that shook all the way to the palace steps.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"You preached about Babel.<br />
<br />
Said God tears towers down over arrogance.<br />
<br />
Then you built one with your name on every fuckin’ brick.<br />
<br />
Guess that's why he sent me."</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Alistair stared back at the wreckage.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Gravy tightened his grip on the axe.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">With only a few swings, the crest split apart!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Then, with a roar, he drove his shoulder through the doors.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">They exploded inward as splintered wood scattered across the palace floor!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size">Resting his axe across his shoulder, he looked toward the terrified servants and guards waiting inside.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="text-shadow: 0 0 9px purple;font-size:10pt;color:green;">"Tell Sebastian the thing he built over just kicked in his fuckin' door."</span></i><br />
<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><img src="https://i.postimg.cc/pXGbFsrK/throne.jpg" loading="lazy"  alt="[Image: throne.jpg]" class="mycode_img" /></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><img src="https://i.postimg.cc/zXJ1SQS6/Glitchybelt.gif" loading="lazy"  alt="[Image: Glitchybelt.gif]" class="mycode_img" /></div>]]></content:encoded>
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			<title><![CDATA[He had a Bad Day]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50278</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 15 Jul 2026 22:41:24 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=3204">johnathan</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50278</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">The XWF Bad Medicine is always exciting for both XWF Fans and Supertars alike, especially to</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">One John Blade, who gets to meet fans from all over the country before The Greatest Show of</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">them all. The new member of Sunday night's Bad Medicine is just about to face a very small group</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">of people who look very happy to see him, and Blade himself looks very happy to see his fans</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">as well, just as his huge smile shows, quickly a small girl runs over to him, quickly followed</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">by her mother, fully decked out in Blade's most  recent baby green attire and a picture of Blade in his</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">hands.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">XWF Fans #1. A little Girl: <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">John! John, may I get your autograph!?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">Of course, little girl, what's your name?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">XWF Fan #1 . A little Girl:  <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">Toni!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Blade smiles and gets on one knee in front of the kid as he takes a pen from his back pocket to</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Sign the kid's picture.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Toni, a little girl. <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">I really hope that you win on Sunday!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain Gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">I'm not sure how that works out, kid. Main event: Jay Fetu and I will be fighting</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">each other, but I can promise you Jay Fetu ain't the one winnin', how about that?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">The girl looks in deep thought for a moment before smiling and nodding his head.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Toni, a little girl: <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">Yeah, I'd like that!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain Gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">Here you go, Toni!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Blade passes the picture back to the boy and shakes his hand. making the boy smile wider as he</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">runs back to his mother. Blade gets back up to his feet and looks around.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain Gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">Alright, boys and girls, who's next?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Within seconds, Blade gets surrounded by more XWF fans who want his autograph or even just the</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">chance to speak to him. But soon everyone's mood turned sour when Jay Fetu's</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">voice cut </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">through the noise.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">But Blade, however, looks angry at Jay Fetu's words.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain Gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">How typical of you, Main Event Jay Fetu. You can't see anyone happy; you just</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">had to come and ruin everyone's mood, didn't you? Y'see, this is why you're Yeeting! You claim you</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">deserve that, but you don't respect anyone else.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">But yourself, you really want to learn about respect, it ain't yours to give, it's earned... so if you</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">wanna be respected by the XWF Universe,</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">if you want them to stop considering you the kind of a man you say you are...</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">How about you show some respect first? How about stop talkin' trash about adults that have never</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">done anythin' to you? How about you look at these</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">men who came here to enjoy the biggest Bad Medicine to date without having to worry</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">about you runnin' your mouth about them and leave them alone?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">that was gathered around Blade shows their displeasure about Fetu's words. Blade himself still</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">doesn't look happy about it either.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain Gang John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">Don't worry, Jay Fetu, I know exactly what people think about me.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">People who sit behind their desk arguing about how '' John Blade is once again at the top'' but</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">it's not just me, the name John Blade can be easily replaced by names like Remi Storm, Latoya Hixx, </span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">and More to come. But those people don't matter to me. I respect them, but I don't like them. What really </span></span>matters to Fetu<span style="font-size: 1pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"> are those who come to these PPV, week in week out, cheerin', not only my name, but</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">everyone's names without fearin' any sort of Consquences! Don't people like me? That's fine by</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">me,  but nothing's gonna stop me from comin' out there</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">and doin' it for them, 'cos I wouldn't have it any other way.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Blade looks down at one man when he continues talking</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">You've seen how Jay Fetu acts around here, haven't you?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">And I don't see eye to eye, and I've gotta tell ya, there have been times where I've feared for</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">our future as you, Jay Fetu 'cos there's no hidin' it Main Event Jay Fetu they hate my guts!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">But in the end, Fetu has busted it out of our asses to</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">not only did I win my first Blade tournament match, but to keep them as well! But I can see why you're all upset with</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">me cause i joined Sunday night Bad Medicine, but I can't say,</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">however, is that jealousy looks good on ya.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">And here we go again! here you go talkin' about how one of us</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">are the most hard workin' men in XWF is gettin'</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">everythin' handed to them on a blue platter. y'know somethin' Jay Fetu? This discussion is over, it's</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">clear that I can't say anythin' that is goin' to convince you all otherwise... so how about I let my </span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">actions do the talkin'? I've been itching to lay my hands on you, I barely even know you for weeks! just can't wait for that</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">to happen... and do you know what else I can't wait for? I can't wait to beat your ass and wait to hear</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">what kind of excuses you'll be comin'</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">up with next! Like, I don't know, put your whaca call'em at Bad Medicine</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">'Cos if I beat you... No, when I beat you, Jay Fetu, you put your thingy on the line against an old member of Thunder The Chain Gang, John Blade. at Friday Thunder, but you can't say it</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">wasn't hard work and dedication. Now, if you don't mind, I've got</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">matters to attend to.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Blade starts to turn around to the fans,</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">Alright, let's pretend that didn't happen! The day has only just started!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">The smile returns to Blade's face with ease as he looks at the cheering group of fans and within</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Seconds, he's surrounded by everyone again, almost as if a confrontation between himself and Main Event Jay Fetu</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">has never happened.</span></span></div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">The XWF Bad Medicine is always exciting for both XWF Fans and Supertars alike, especially to</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">One John Blade, who gets to meet fans from all over the country before The Greatest Show of</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">them all. The new member of Sunday night's Bad Medicine is just about to face a very small group</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">of people who look very happy to see him, and Blade himself looks very happy to see his fans</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">as well, just as his huge smile shows, quickly a small girl runs over to him, quickly followed</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">by her mother, fully decked out in Blade's most  recent baby green attire and a picture of Blade in his</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">hands.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">XWF Fans #1. A little Girl: <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">John! John, may I get your autograph!?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">Of course, little girl, what's your name?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">XWF Fan #1 . A little Girl:  <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">Toni!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Blade smiles and gets on one knee in front of the kid as he takes a pen from his back pocket to</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Sign the kid's picture.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Toni, a little girl. <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">I really hope that you win on Sunday!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain Gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">I'm not sure how that works out, kid. Main event: Jay Fetu and I will be fighting</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">each other, but I can promise you Jay Fetu ain't the one winnin', how about that?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">The girl looks in deep thought for a moment before smiling and nodding his head.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Toni, a little girl: <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">Yeah, I'd like that!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain Gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">Here you go, Toni!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Blade passes the picture back to the boy and shakes his hand. making the boy smile wider as he</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">runs back to his mother. Blade gets back up to his feet and looks around.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain Gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">Alright, boys and girls, who's next?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Within seconds, Blade gets surrounded by more XWF fans who want his autograph or even just the</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">chance to speak to him. But soon everyone's mood turned sour when Jay Fetu's</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">voice cut </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">through the noise.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">But Blade, however, looks angry at Jay Fetu's words.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain Gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">How typical of you, Main Event Jay Fetu. You can't see anyone happy; you just</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">had to come and ruin everyone's mood, didn't you? Y'see, this is why you're Yeeting! You claim you</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">deserve that, but you don't respect anyone else.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">But yourself, you really want to learn about respect, it ain't yours to give, it's earned... so if you</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">wanna be respected by the XWF Universe,</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">if you want them to stop considering you the kind of a man you say you are...</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">How about you show some respect first? How about stop talkin' trash about adults that have never</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">done anythin' to you? How about you look at these</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">men who came here to enjoy the biggest Bad Medicine to date without having to worry</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">about you runnin' your mouth about them and leave them alone?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">that was gathered around Blade shows their displeasure about Fetu's words. Blade himself still</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">doesn't look happy about it either.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain Gang John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">Don't worry, Jay Fetu, I know exactly what people think about me.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">People who sit behind their desk arguing about how '' John Blade is once again at the top'' but</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">it's not just me, the name John Blade can be easily replaced by names like Remi Storm, Latoya Hixx, </span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">and More to come. But those people don't matter to me. I respect them, but I don't like them. What really </span></span>matters to Fetu<span style="font-size: 1pt;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"> are those who come to these PPV, week in week out, cheerin', not only my name, but</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">everyone's names without fearin' any sort of Consquences! Don't people like me? That's fine by</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">me,  but nothing's gonna stop me from comin' out there</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">and doin' it for them, 'cos I wouldn't have it any other way.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Blade looks down at one man when he continues talking</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">You've seen how Jay Fetu acts around here, haven't you?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">And I don't see eye to eye, and I've gotta tell ya, there have been times where I've feared for</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">our future as you, Jay Fetu 'cos there's no hidin' it Main Event Jay Fetu they hate my guts!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">But in the end, Fetu has busted it out of our asses to</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">not only did I win my first Blade tournament match, but to keep them as well! But I can see why you're all upset with</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">me cause i joined Sunday night Bad Medicine, but I can't say,</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">however, is that jealousy looks good on ya.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">And here we go again! here you go talkin' about how one of us</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">are the most hard workin' men in XWF is gettin'</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">everythin' handed to them on a blue platter. y'know somethin' Jay Fetu? This discussion is over, it's</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">clear that I can't say anythin' that is goin' to convince you all otherwise... so how about I let my </span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">actions do the talkin'? I've been itching to lay my hands on you, I barely even know you for weeks! just can't wait for that</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">to happen... and do you know what else I can't wait for? I can't wait to beat your ass and wait to hear</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">what kind of excuses you'll be comin'</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">up with next! Like, I don't know, put your whaca call'em at Bad Medicine</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">'Cos if I beat you... No, when I beat you, Jay Fetu, you put your thingy on the line against an old member of Thunder The Chain Gang, John Blade. at Friday Thunder, but you can't say it</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">wasn't hard work and dedication. Now, if you don't mind, I've got</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><span style="color: #e8c500;" class="mycode_color">matters to attend to.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Blade starts to turn around to the fans,</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Chain gang| John Blade: <span style="color: #ffdc00;" class="mycode_color">Alright, let's pretend that didn't happen! The day has only just started!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">The smile returns to Blade's face with ease as he looks at the cheering group of fans and within</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Seconds, he's surrounded by everyone again, almost as if a confrontation between himself and Main Event Jay Fetu</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">has never happened.</span></span></div>]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Better be prepared for what's coming]]></title>
			<link>https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50275</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 14 Jul 2026 03:44:56 -0700</pubDate>
			<dc:creator><![CDATA[<a href="https://xwf1999.com/member.php?action=profile&uid=3217">Jay Fetu</a>]]></dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=50275</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Backstage now as the camera cuts to Jay Fetu as he is getting ready for</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">his tournament matches coming up. Fetu faces his old rival friend, The Chain Gang John Blade.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Jay would take a moment to look at Razor, tapping him on his shoulder.<br />
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><img src="https://i.postimg.cc/J0LkgXvW/normal-scene00271-48.jpg" loading="lazy"  alt="[Image: normal-scene00271-48.jpg]" class="mycode_img" /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><br />
Main Event| Jay Fetu: <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">Where's my head at, Uce? You here with me?<br />
</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">American nightmare| Razor:  <span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">it's hard. When you face my friend John Blade in our Blade tournament this Sunday at Bad Medicine on XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Main Event| Jay Fetu: <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">you already know I understand and I gotchu', Uce, but here's the thang, Razor. We can be friends right after I handle my business with John Blade. In our Blade Championship tournament this week at Bad Medicine, and move on to the next round of that tournament, which I didn't win the whole thing last month at LOF, and now it's time for Main Event Jay Fetu to win it all and become the new Blade Champion on Bad Medicine at XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Razor nods his head at Jay.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">American nightmare| Razor Blade: <span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">No. Jay.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Main Event| Jay Fetu:<span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color"> Exactly what I'm talking about, Uce. You'll never listen cause you might end up as a friend of John. down, but that's okay though cause when I win this Blade tournament at Bad Medicine, then it won't be Blade Championship, it will be Fetu Championship when I win this tournament this week on Bad Medicine at XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">American nightmare| Razor: <span style="color: #e86e04;" class="mycode_color">I know everything about my friend John. has but just to remember he was always in a tournament, and he will win this Blade tournament for our family, and I know this match will be in your hometown, Jay, in San Francisco, and I'm pretty sure that all of your family will probably be there to support you after John wins his first Blade Championship tournament this Sunday at Bad Medicine at XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Main Event| Jay Fetu: <span style="color: #7fdbff;" class="mycode_color">Yeet.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">American nightmare| Razor: <span style="color: #e86e04;" class="mycode_color">You know something Jay. you and I haven't fought each other in along time but the only people that you have faceed was John landerson Latoya and Deena Hixx. in last month's  Leap of Faith when you lost the Qualifier match but you tryed your best to pick up the victory but instead The Storm Latoya Hixx has made herself in the twenty four seven brifecase and now all of sudden you will enter the tournament but only for The Blade Championship and i know that you might end up winning the whole thing this coming Sunday at Bad Medicine So here's my Opinion Jay just go out there and do your best cause everybody in your hometown will be Yeeting you until you win the whole Blade tournament on Bad Medicine at XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><img src="https://i.postimg.cc/KcDkjRCD/normal-scene00201-47.jpg" loading="lazy"  alt="[Image: normal-scene00201-47.jpg]" class="mycode_img" /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Main Event| Jay Fetu: <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">I got my 'ish goin' on with John Blade. I got mine with this Blade tournament, and it's every person for themselves, and once I head onto the next round of the tournanent i'll be the new Blade Champion at Bad Medicine on XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">American nightmare| Razor: <span style="color: #e86e04;" class="mycode_color">I just hope that you're know what you doing cause The Blade Championship represent The Blade name in the Chapmion in that's why I want you to win the whole Blade tournament and don't just do it for our friendship just go ahead in do it for your Fans and family cause you'll be in San Francisco of your own terf in that's why you got to win because the last time you entered the tournament you didn't win the whole thing it was Latoya. that moved onto the twenty four seven ladder match at Leap of Faith So without further will do just win this Blade tournament at Bad Medicine and if you don't win then John Blade will carry that Blade  Championship on XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Main Event| Jay Fetu: <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">Might not be like blood, but ya'll become like fam. to me, ever since we first met and fought each other on Warfare and Anarchy. everything gon' be fine, Uce cause when I'm through with your friend John Blade. Blade Championship tournament at Bad Medicine on XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Fetu walks away and heads straight inside of the arena to head to his locker room before his tournament begins this Sunday.</span></span></div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Backstage now as the camera cuts to Jay Fetu as he is getting ready for</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">his tournament matches coming up. Fetu faces his old rival friend, The Chain Gang John Blade.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Jay would take a moment to look at Razor, tapping him on his shoulder.<br />
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><img src="https://i.postimg.cc/J0LkgXvW/normal-scene00271-48.jpg" loading="lazy"  alt="[Image: normal-scene00271-48.jpg]" class="mycode_img" /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><br />
Main Event| Jay Fetu: <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">Where's my head at, Uce? You here with me?<br />
</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">American nightmare| Razor:  <span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">it's hard. When you face my friend John Blade in our Blade tournament this Sunday at Bad Medicine on XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Main Event| Jay Fetu: <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">you already know I understand and I gotchu', Uce, but here's the thang, Razor. We can be friends right after I handle my business with John Blade. In our Blade Championship tournament this week at Bad Medicine, and move on to the next round of that tournament, which I didn't win the whole thing last month at LOF, and now it's time for Main Event Jay Fetu to win it all and become the new Blade Champion on Bad Medicine at XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Razor nods his head at Jay.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">American nightmare| Razor Blade: <span style="color: #ff851b;" class="mycode_color">No. Jay.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Main Event| Jay Fetu:<span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color"> Exactly what I'm talking about, Uce. You'll never listen cause you might end up as a friend of John. down, but that's okay though cause when I win this Blade tournament at Bad Medicine, then it won't be Blade Championship, it will be Fetu Championship when I win this tournament this week on Bad Medicine at XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">American nightmare| Razor: <span style="color: #e86e04;" class="mycode_color">I know everything about my friend John. has but just to remember he was always in a tournament, and he will win this Blade tournament for our family, and I know this match will be in your hometown, Jay, in San Francisco, and I'm pretty sure that all of your family will probably be there to support you after John wins his first Blade Championship tournament this Sunday at Bad Medicine at XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Main Event| Jay Fetu: <span style="color: #7fdbff;" class="mycode_color">Yeet.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">American nightmare| Razor: <span style="color: #e86e04;" class="mycode_color">You know something Jay. you and I haven't fought each other in along time but the only people that you have faceed was John landerson Latoya and Deena Hixx. in last month's  Leap of Faith when you lost the Qualifier match but you tryed your best to pick up the victory but instead The Storm Latoya Hixx has made herself in the twenty four seven brifecase and now all of sudden you will enter the tournament but only for The Blade Championship and i know that you might end up winning the whole thing this coming Sunday at Bad Medicine So here's my Opinion Jay just go out there and do your best cause everybody in your hometown will be Yeeting you until you win the whole Blade tournament on Bad Medicine at XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font"><img src="https://i.postimg.cc/KcDkjRCD/normal-scene00201-47.jpg" loading="lazy"  alt="[Image: normal-scene00201-47.jpg]" class="mycode_img" /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Main Event| Jay Fetu: <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">I got my 'ish goin' on with John Blade. I got mine with this Blade tournament, and it's every person for themselves, and once I head onto the next round of the tournanent i'll be the new Blade Champion at Bad Medicine on XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">American nightmare| Razor: <span style="color: #e86e04;" class="mycode_color">I just hope that you're know what you doing cause The Blade Championship represent The Blade name in the Chapmion in that's why I want you to win the whole Blade tournament and don't just do it for our friendship just go ahead in do it for your Fans and family cause you'll be in San Francisco of your own terf in that's why you got to win because the last time you entered the tournament you didn't win the whole thing it was Latoya. that moved onto the twenty four seven ladder match at Leap of Faith So without further will do just win this Blade tournament at Bad Medicine and if you don't win then John Blade will carry that Blade  Championship on XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Main Event| Jay Fetu: <span style="color: #ff30dc;" class="mycode_color">Might not be like blood, but ya'll become like fam. to me, ever since we first met and fought each other on Warfare and Anarchy. everything gon' be fine, Uce cause when I'm through with your friend John Blade. Blade Championship tournament at Bad Medicine on XWF.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;" class="mycode_align"><span style="font-size: medium;" class="mycode_size"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;" class="mycode_font">Fetu walks away and heads straight inside of the arena to head to his locker room before his tournament begins this Sunday.</span></span></div>]]></content:encoded>
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