https://xwf1999.com/ Sun, 12 Apr 2026 09:17:48 +0000 MyBB https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=47048 Fri, 03 Nov 2023 03:16:35 -0700 Kieran King]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=47048 "Don't you think you've had enough by now?"

It was an innocent enough question. Probably somewhere near the forefront of Thaddeus Duke's mind was concern about being Velvet Rabbit protocol or New York licencing restrictions. There was another thought, perhaps even more prominent, that held some genuine concern for the welfare of Kieran King. For his part, however, Kieran honed straight in on the more cynical option.

"I'm off the clock," he said, as he shot back the entire nip of whisky in one posted gulp. His throat burned as he asked for another. Thad considered his role here carefully. Yes, he was tending bar here at the Rabbit, as he often did on Tuesdays; all earnings donated to charity of course. But he was also the General Manager of the XWF's Madness brand, and Kieran King is one of the biggest names on his roster. When he's sober anyway.

Thad settles the bottle of Lagavulin 16 onto the bar as he pulls a clean glass from a rack down below. "Maybe sit on this one for a bit. It's your last one."

Kieran shrugged as the glass slid across the countertop. The liquor sloshed its way up the glass, but didn't spill over. Of course it didn't spill over, Kieran thought to himself; Thaddeus Duke is good at everything.

That was kind of why he was here, to be honest. Usually it's his bosses' minions, mistresses, or minstrels serving him drinks. Not the boss themselves. It feels good to have the balance of power evened out a bit more. And maybe that was a credit to Thad himself.

The titties certainly made him feel better too. If he had to be in New York - and Kieran hated New York - he may as well get plastered on good whisky and then get even better titties all up in his face. The Velvet Rabbit was the place to be for anybody who needed a little cheering up. That fit Kieran pretty well. He had taken a swing at the new XWF World Championship, crested a whole ruse to get himself the shot, and it worked. Thaddeus Duke wasn't just good at mixing up Old Fashioneds, he also knew a good moneymaking opportunity when he saw it. Kieran provided exactly that. And then… he flubbed it. There wasn't an excuse available for him to use. Myra Rivers beat him, clean as a whistle, and he knew it.

And the world keeps turning.

Myra's moved on, finding herself caught up between the new faces of Penelope and Sahara - the latter of which definitely caused Kieran to cock an eyebrow in Thad's direction again, he just didn't care enough to go any further with it. About Myra, about Penelope, about Sahara, or about Thad himself. He had bigger things to worry about.

Like his now-empty glass.

He hadn't nursed it like he was advised.

Thad heard the glass hit the bar top and sent a cautionary glance down the row. Kieran smiled innocently. Or tried to. It probably came across much different than that. A gentle shake of Thad's head confirmed that another one wasn't coming. If Kieran wanted to keep this night going, he'd have to find another way.

He coughed as he pushed himself up from the bar stool and spun around. His feet came a split second later but this wasn't his first rodeo, and he had enough wherewithal to stablise himself. Each step through the relatively busy crowd required an extra level of concentration that he was able to pull off expertly.

Until he didn't.

His brain said 'step left'. His body decided to step right.

And he crashed right into somebody.

"Watch where you're fucking going, will you?" That's what Kieran thought he said. Who knows how it actually came out as.

"That's a bit rude, sexy stubble," Adi Goldblum said. Her smile was half-slanted but not quite as turned upside down as Kieran's world was.

'Oh shit. I'm sorry, Adi,' is what he meant to say next. 'Are you having a good time? Hey, what do you think about getting out of this place, you know… together.' All of those would've been perfect.

Kieran might not know what he actually did say, but the look on Adi's face suggested it definitely wasn't any of the aforementioned.

His blurred vision didn't even get the pleasure of staring after her as she walked away. That made the situation doubly bad for him. Adi was just about one of the only people in this fucking business Kieran actually enjoyed - and not just because he wanted to 'get up in there' as he would comfortably say whenever the opportunity would arise in casual conversation (which was far more often than one would expect, begging the question as to whether it was really that casual after all or if there was some grander intent at play).

Adi's departure made Kieran's feet heavy. He felt himself begin to be sucked into the floor, as if the crowd around him were about to pour over him like some surging wave.

Having seen it play out in other people, Kieran knew too well that when one is at a low point, they often make rash decisions that do more harm than good. Unfortunately, Kieran wasn't quite able to spot that for himself as a wiry old Japanese man hobbled towards him on a cane.

"Kieran-San? My name is Sensei Abe Lincoln and I have proposal for you, mmhmm."

Kieran swayed on his feet, unable to find words.

The sensei continued anyway.

"My client believe you and he have lot to discuss.

Come, let me introduce you to Shujin Yama."]]> "Don't you think you've had enough by now?"

It was an innocent enough question. Probably somewhere near the forefront of Thaddeus Duke's mind was concern about being Velvet Rabbit protocol or New York licencing restrictions. There was another thought, perhaps even more prominent, that held some genuine concern for the welfare of Kieran King. For his part, however, Kieran honed straight in on the more cynical option.

"I'm off the clock," he said, as he shot back the entire nip of whisky in one posted gulp. His throat burned as he asked for another. Thad considered his role here carefully. Yes, he was tending bar here at the Rabbit, as he often did on Tuesdays; all earnings donated to charity of course. But he was also the General Manager of the XWF's Madness brand, and Kieran King is one of the biggest names on his roster. When he's sober anyway.

Thad settles the bottle of Lagavulin 16 onto the bar as he pulls a clean glass from a rack down below. "Maybe sit on this one for a bit. It's your last one."

Kieran shrugged as the glass slid across the countertop. The liquor sloshed its way up the glass, but didn't spill over. Of course it didn't spill over, Kieran thought to himself; Thaddeus Duke is good at everything.

That was kind of why he was here, to be honest. Usually it's his bosses' minions, mistresses, or minstrels serving him drinks. Not the boss themselves. It feels good to have the balance of power evened out a bit more. And maybe that was a credit to Thad himself.

The titties certainly made him feel better too. If he had to be in New York - and Kieran hated New York - he may as well get plastered on good whisky and then get even better titties all up in his face. The Velvet Rabbit was the place to be for anybody who needed a little cheering up. That fit Kieran pretty well. He had taken a swing at the new XWF World Championship, crested a whole ruse to get himself the shot, and it worked. Thaddeus Duke wasn't just good at mixing up Old Fashioneds, he also knew a good moneymaking opportunity when he saw it. Kieran provided exactly that. And then… he flubbed it. There wasn't an excuse available for him to use. Myra Rivers beat him, clean as a whistle, and he knew it.

And the world keeps turning.

Myra's moved on, finding herself caught up between the new faces of Penelope and Sahara - the latter of which definitely caused Kieran to cock an eyebrow in Thad's direction again, he just didn't care enough to go any further with it. About Myra, about Penelope, about Sahara, or about Thad himself. He had bigger things to worry about.

Like his now-empty glass.

He hadn't nursed it like he was advised.

Thad heard the glass hit the bar top and sent a cautionary glance down the row. Kieran smiled innocently. Or tried to. It probably came across much different than that. A gentle shake of Thad's head confirmed that another one wasn't coming. If Kieran wanted to keep this night going, he'd have to find another way.

He coughed as he pushed himself up from the bar stool and spun around. His feet came a split second later but this wasn't his first rodeo, and he had enough wherewithal to stablise himself. Each step through the relatively busy crowd required an extra level of concentration that he was able to pull off expertly.

Until he didn't.

His brain said 'step left'. His body decided to step right.

And he crashed right into somebody.

"Watch where you're fucking going, will you?" That's what Kieran thought he said. Who knows how it actually came out as.

"That's a bit rude, sexy stubble," Adi Goldblum said. Her smile was half-slanted but not quite as turned upside down as Kieran's world was.

'Oh shit. I'm sorry, Adi,' is what he meant to say next. 'Are you having a good time? Hey, what do you think about getting out of this place, you know… together.' All of those would've been perfect.

Kieran might not know what he actually did say, but the look on Adi's face suggested it definitely wasn't any of the aforementioned.

His blurred vision didn't even get the pleasure of staring after her as she walked away. That made the situation doubly bad for him. Adi was just about one of the only people in this fucking business Kieran actually enjoyed - and not just because he wanted to 'get up in there' as he would comfortably say whenever the opportunity would arise in casual conversation (which was far more often than one would expect, begging the question as to whether it was really that casual after all or if there was some grander intent at play).

Adi's departure made Kieran's feet heavy. He felt himself begin to be sucked into the floor, as if the crowd around him were about to pour over him like some surging wave.

Having seen it play out in other people, Kieran knew too well that when one is at a low point, they often make rash decisions that do more harm than good. Unfortunately, Kieran wasn't quite able to spot that for himself as a wiry old Japanese man hobbled towards him on a cane.

"Kieran-San? My name is Sensei Abe Lincoln and I have proposal for you, mmhmm."

Kieran swayed on his feet, unable to find words.

The sensei continued anyway.

"My client believe you and he have lot to discuss.

Come, let me introduce you to Shujin Yama."]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=47005 Sun, 15 Oct 2023 18:29:58 -0700 Thaddeus Duke]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=47005
”Do we have to?” he asked.

”We could just not, and tell Mom we did,” I replied.  “What am I saying?  Of course we do.”

”Dad, no offense but I think you’re the last person in the world that should give me that talk,” he said quickly.

For a moment I just sat there looking at him in an awkward silence.

”Things seem to be getting pretty serious between you and Penny,” I said to him.  ”How many 13 year old boys do you know that get flown 1500 miles to go to a Homecoming dance?”

”But it’s not like that,” he insisted.  ”It won’t be like that for a long time.”

”It’s okay to talk to me about those things, you know?” I asked without expecting any kind of answer from him.  ”It doesn’t have to be awkward.  Growing up and eventually doing that is… just a natural part of life.”

”Daaaaad!” he pleads with an elongated sigh.  ”Neither of us are nearly ready for that stuff.  Can we just be teenagers for a while?”

”I just don’t want you growing up thinking that what I’ve done is normal,” I began.  ”I don’t want you growing up thinking that womanizing is something that I’m proud of, or that it’s some kind of measure of masculinity or of how cool you are…”

”The last person I want to be when I grow up, is you,” he said coldly.

I’ll admit, that kinda hurt.  Not a little, but a lot.  I’m not saying that I don’t deserve that.  He has his opinions about what I’ve done and I respect them.  Hell, I agree with him in large part.  Knowing that he knows what I’ve done, hearing him acknowledge it out loud… makes me feel so damn small.

And I should.

”I don’t understand how you can claim to love me, or the twins or mom while you do those things,” he interrupted my train of thought.  ”Love isn’t supposed to hurt.”

Frankie has raised his voice and yelled at me before, but nothing like this.  For the first time, I’ve noticed that hiding behind his anger and raised voice… is pain.  I caused that pain.  That absolutely crushes my soul.  I never meant to hurt him.  I never meant to hurt anyone.

Kind of stung, I just sat there quietly.  Frankie stood up and started pacing tracks in his carpet.  I’ve seen that before.  When I’m in the ring on the microphone, I do that a lot.  What I’m doing when I do it is getting my words in order.  That’s a learned behavior which is exactly what I’m afraid of.

”Three years ago I came to live with you,” he began.

A big part of me wanted to stop him.  I wanted to grab him and hold him tight in my arms and tell him how truly sorry I am.  A much larger part of me wanted to let him get it out of his system.  I deserved to hear whatever it is he had to say to me.

”You were gonna be my new dad and Liz was gonna be my new mom,” he continued.  ”It only took you a couple months to mess that up.  You couldn’t keep your weiner to yourself and she left you…”

”Frankie…”

”No!” he shouted me down.  ”For three damn years I played stupid, Dad!  I’m not doing it anymore!  You have hurt everyone that has ever loved you!”

”That’s not true,” I argued.

”No?  Well it sure seems that way since I came here!” he paused.  ”Uncle Jim was dying and what’d you do?  You made his cancer about you!  Liz loved you, she had your babies and you cheated on her!

“And you know what’s worse than that?  She forgave you and a few months later you sent her packing to North Carolina!”

”Frankie listen,” I pleaded.

”I think you should listen to me this time,” he said, shooting me down again.  ”Maybe you spent too much time in your life sitting in the big chairs because no one’s ever held you accountable for the things you’ve done.

“Look at Uncle Corey,” he continued his rant.  ”You looked like the big hero as you helped nurse him back to health but what’d you do?  You kicked a man that had brain problems,  a man you loved and loved you back, in the back of his head!”

I badly wanted to interrupt him.  Yes, it was a despicable act, but no one had the clarity it took to see things through my lens.  That doesn’t make it right, but there were valid reasons.  Maybe somewhat unrealistic reasons, but reasons nonetheless.

”Two days after you broke up with Adi Gold you were in another woman's bed and I know you didn’t think I saw but I see a lot more than I let on,” he continued.  ”Three weeks after that, you married mom.  How did that make Adi feel?

“Or is that another case where you just do what you want and don’t give a shit who it hurts?”

God damn.

He knows all my skeletons.

”You love my mom and I know you do,” he resumed his rant.  ”But how could you hurt her so much?  She’s so good to you.  She’s been an awesome mom to me and the babies but every couple weeks like clockwork, I hear about you with another woman somewhere.”

”We had an agreement,” I replied.  ”We set up ground rules and…”

”You’re the only one that actually does it,” he interrupted.  ”That should tell you everything you need to know but you’re too fucking self centered to see it.”

An awkward silence ensued as his stare burned a hole right through me.

”I’m afraid of being like you,” he resumed again.  ”I don’t know when I’ll lose my virginity Dad.  But I will tell you that when I do, I’ll be a good guy to whoever she is because you’ve set a perfect example of what not to do.

“You know where the door is.”

”Frankie,” I said as I stood up from his bed.

”Go,” he instructed.

I did linger for a few seconds.  I have never felt so small in my entire life and it certainly isn’t his fault.  Everything he said was the absolute truth.  While I didn’t expect it, he gave me so much to think about.  Of all the times people have shut me down and rendered me speechless, not only is this one of them, but also the most significant example.

After throwing on a hoodie, I didn’t say a single word to anyone.  Instead, I just went outside to the other garage and started messing around with my truck.  I didn’t really accomplish anything.  All I did was pop the hood, then lean my head against my arm on the header panel.  I must’ve stood there in thought and solitude for an hour, maybe more.

Frankie was right about everything.

While it’s true that my wife and I had an agreement, I can’t imagine what it might’ve been like for her to know, or at least to think, that whenever I wasn’t home that I was probably screwing someone else.  The sudden realization hit me like a damn wrecking ball and all at once, quiet tears streamed down my face.

Soaking in my own salty tears, I thought about everything Frankie told me.  I really did try to be a good role model for him.  Instead, I became the poster boy of what not to do.  For the first time since I met the boy more than three years ago, I feel like he hates me.  I’m not sure which feeling is worse, knowing I’ve failed at being a husband, or knowing that I failed as a father.

”How’d it go?” Lauren asked as she entered the garage.  ”He’s been avoiding me so I’ll assume you told him I saw him.”

”He could probably use a little assurance that that’s not what you’re thinking about when you look at him,” I said to her without even lifting my head to look at her.

”Sure babe,” she says with a chuckle.  ”Seems reasonable for a boys mom to tell him its ok to jerk off.”[orange]

”Well… whatever, I guess.  I don’t know.”

[orange]”Are you crying?” she asked as she changed her tone to more of a concerned one.

Without replying immediately, I lifted my head and wiped my eyes on my sleeve before I turned to face her.

”What’s wrong?”

”Babydoll I’m so sorry,” I began.

”For what?”

”Hurting you the way I had been,” I replied.

She gives me a knowing look, as if she doesn’t want to acknowledge what it is I’m referring to while at the same time, she pulls me into a comforting hug.

”I just…” I began but couldn’t find the words I was looking for.

”What the hell did he say to you?” she asked as she folded her arms into my chest.

”Just things I needed to hear,” I replied.  ”I destroyed whatever pedestal he used to have me on.”

”Baby, don’t take it so hard,” she advised.  ”He just doesn’t understand.”

”He understands plenty,” I corrected her.  ”I’ve been lying to myself since we first got together, Lauren.  I kept telling myself that we made a deal.  I kept saying it wasn’t cheating because I was following the rules.  The rules were shit.  He pointed out that I was the only one fuckin’ around.”

”Well that’s over now, right?” she asked somewhat rhetorically.

”How many times have I said I was done with that shit before reneging and goin’ back on my word?”

Golden silence.

”It’s not me that has an issue with what you’ve done,” she began as she cut through the silence.  ”I knew what you were when I married you.  Maybe you should talk to him.  Let him ask you questions.  Just be an open book.

“That kid is smarter than either of us.  He’s angry because he doesn’t know better.  Let him see your vulnerable side.”

”Where is he?”

”On the pier,” she replied as I left her embrace.  ”I saw the glow of his Switch.  Or at least, I hope that’s what he was playing with.”

”Dammit Lauren,” I laughed slightly as I headed from the garage toward the pier on the backside of the house.  After cresting the hill, I could see the glow of his Switch against the dark backdrop of an autumn evening.  I took my time as I made my way to him.  There was more than a good chance I was about to answer some really tough questions.

He lays on his stomach near the edge with his game in front of his face.

”Hi Dad,” he said quietly.

”How’d you know it was me?”

”I know your footsteps,” he answered.

”Can we talk?” I asked the boy.

He didn’t answer immediately.  I was fully prepared for him to tell me no and I would’ve been okay with that.  He laid motionless for a few moments before sitting up and looking at me.

”I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he said as he started to choke up a little.  ”I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

”I really appreciate you saying that,” I replied.  ”But you were exactly right from top to bottom.  I’m sorry I did things that made you so angry.  I’m sorry I hurt you so much that you felt you had to let me have it.

“Come sit with me.”

Frankie hesitated for a few moments before getting to his feet and sitting beside me on the swing on the side of the pier.

”For the last couple hours I’ve been thinking about all the things you said and reflecting on what I’ve done,” I began.  ”There’s probably a million questions you have going through your head and if you wanna ask them, ask them.”

We both sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes.  Inside my own head, I wondered what exactly was going through his mind.  I know he doesn’t hate me, but I sure felt like he did.

”I guess the obvious question is why?” he asked his first question.

”I don’t know if there’s any one answer,” I began as I thought about an honest reply.  ”It’s like I have this compulsion.  If I had more self control, I’d have stopped a long time ago, but when the blood starts flowing it’s… I don’t know, it’s very difficult to pull back.”

”How many have there been?” he asked.

”Too many,” I said with shame.  ”So many that I don’t even remember most of them.”

”How did you meet them?”

”Most of them are my friends,” I replied.  ”They were friends before and they remain friends now.”

”So… all these women that I’ve met over the years,” he pressed.  ”They’ve all slept with my dad and we just stay his blind, unsuspecting family?”

”I haven’t slept with all of my friends, but,” I paused in thought.  ”Most of them.”

”Can you recognize how disgusting that is?” he asked.

”I do,” I replied quickly.  ”I always did.”

”After all this time and all the times you said you’d stop but didn’t, what makes you think you can do it now?” he asked.

”Because I let you down,” I answered to a silent reply.  ”I’ve gone through a lot of shit in my life Frankie.  Realizing that I failed you, that I didn’t meet your expectations as a man, a husband and as a father.

“Kid that cut me right to the bone.”

”So what happens now?”

”I go back into therapy,” I answered emphatically.

”Back?” he echoed.  ”You went into therapy for it before?”

”Yeah.”

”Why didn’t you stay in it?” he asked.  ”Why didn’t it work?”

”I didn’t stay in it because my therapist determined I wasn’t addicted,” I answered his first question.  ”It might have worked, but it was one on one therapy.  I think maybe this time I’ll try group therapy.”

”That seems like an odd idea,” he said as he looked up at me.  ”Think about it.  A whole bunch of sex addicts in one place?” he chuckled slightly.

”Yeah I got it,” I said with a laugh as I pulled him into a side hug.  ”But maybe hearing other peoples stories will help me.”

”Did what I said earlier really do this?” he asked.

”Yeah,” I answered him truthfully.  ”I’ve gone through life not really giving a shit what people thought of me.  In my work over the years, everyone mostly just fires spitballs to see what sticks anyway so I kinda take what they say with a grain of salt.

“You’re not them.  You’re my boy.  My first boy.  You matter to me.  Your thoughts, your feelings, they matter to me more than pretty much anything.”

Frankie and I sat there talking for about another forty five minutes.  A lot of times we’re just passing by, as in he’s going to school or I’m going to work.  Life is busy and I don’t always have the time to just sit and talk with him.  I love when we do though.  Even if it’s like today where we fight and have to work it out.

I have said it from the day I met him that he’s a special person.  I meant it then and I still mean it now.  This kid is hands down the best thing that has ever happened to me.  While I don’t deserve him, I think I see the light now.  I think I see what it is I need to do to be the man I need to be for him.  I don’t expect it’ll be easy.  Women don’t just suddenly stop being sexually appealing.  They don’t just suddenly stop waving me to their room.

I don’t know how to fix it.

But I do know I won’t stop trying.

He deserves that.  T.J. and Caty deserve that.  Gracie’s memory deserves that.  Most of all my wife deserves that.

Stannis was right.  Hard truths cut both ways.]]>
”Do we have to?” he asked.

”We could just not, and tell Mom we did,” I replied.  “What am I saying?  Of course we do.”

”Dad, no offense but I think you’re the last person in the world that should give me that talk,” he said quickly.

For a moment I just sat there looking at him in an awkward silence.

”Things seem to be getting pretty serious between you and Penny,” I said to him.  ”How many 13 year old boys do you know that get flown 1500 miles to go to a Homecoming dance?”

”But it’s not like that,” he insisted.  ”It won’t be like that for a long time.”

”It’s okay to talk to me about those things, you know?” I asked without expecting any kind of answer from him.  ”It doesn’t have to be awkward.  Growing up and eventually doing that is… just a natural part of life.”

”Daaaaad!” he pleads with an elongated sigh.  ”Neither of us are nearly ready for that stuff.  Can we just be teenagers for a while?”

”I just don’t want you growing up thinking that what I’ve done is normal,” I began.  ”I don’t want you growing up thinking that womanizing is something that I’m proud of, or that it’s some kind of measure of masculinity or of how cool you are…”

”The last person I want to be when I grow up, is you,” he said coldly.

I’ll admit, that kinda hurt.  Not a little, but a lot.  I’m not saying that I don’t deserve that.  He has his opinions about what I’ve done and I respect them.  Hell, I agree with him in large part.  Knowing that he knows what I’ve done, hearing him acknowledge it out loud… makes me feel so damn small.

And I should.

”I don’t understand how you can claim to love me, or the twins or mom while you do those things,” he interrupted my train of thought.  ”Love isn’t supposed to hurt.”

Frankie has raised his voice and yelled at me before, but nothing like this.  For the first time, I’ve noticed that hiding behind his anger and raised voice… is pain.  I caused that pain.  That absolutely crushes my soul.  I never meant to hurt him.  I never meant to hurt anyone.

Kind of stung, I just sat there quietly.  Frankie stood up and started pacing tracks in his carpet.  I’ve seen that before.  When I’m in the ring on the microphone, I do that a lot.  What I’m doing when I do it is getting my words in order.  That’s a learned behavior which is exactly what I’m afraid of.

”Three years ago I came to live with you,” he began.

A big part of me wanted to stop him.  I wanted to grab him and hold him tight in my arms and tell him how truly sorry I am.  A much larger part of me wanted to let him get it out of his system.  I deserved to hear whatever it is he had to say to me.

”You were gonna be my new dad and Liz was gonna be my new mom,” he continued.  ”It only took you a couple months to mess that up.  You couldn’t keep your weiner to yourself and she left you…”

”Frankie…”

”No!” he shouted me down.  ”For three damn years I played stupid, Dad!  I’m not doing it anymore!  You have hurt everyone that has ever loved you!”

”That’s not true,” I argued.

”No?  Well it sure seems that way since I came here!” he paused.  ”Uncle Jim was dying and what’d you do?  You made his cancer about you!  Liz loved you, she had your babies and you cheated on her!

“And you know what’s worse than that?  She forgave you and a few months later you sent her packing to North Carolina!”

”Frankie listen,” I pleaded.

”I think you should listen to me this time,” he said, shooting me down again.  ”Maybe you spent too much time in your life sitting in the big chairs because no one’s ever held you accountable for the things you’ve done.

“Look at Uncle Corey,” he continued his rant.  ”You looked like the big hero as you helped nurse him back to health but what’d you do?  You kicked a man that had brain problems,  a man you loved and loved you back, in the back of his head!”

I badly wanted to interrupt him.  Yes, it was a despicable act, but no one had the clarity it took to see things through my lens.  That doesn’t make it right, but there were valid reasons.  Maybe somewhat unrealistic reasons, but reasons nonetheless.

”Two days after you broke up with Adi Gold you were in another woman's bed and I know you didn’t think I saw but I see a lot more than I let on,” he continued.  ”Three weeks after that, you married mom.  How did that make Adi feel?

“Or is that another case where you just do what you want and don’t give a shit who it hurts?”

God damn.

He knows all my skeletons.

”You love my mom and I know you do,” he resumed his rant.  ”But how could you hurt her so much?  She’s so good to you.  She’s been an awesome mom to me and the babies but every couple weeks like clockwork, I hear about you with another woman somewhere.”

”We had an agreement,” I replied.  ”We set up ground rules and…”

”You’re the only one that actually does it,” he interrupted.  ”That should tell you everything you need to know but you’re too fucking self centered to see it.”

An awkward silence ensued as his stare burned a hole right through me.

”I’m afraid of being like you,” he resumed again.  ”I don’t know when I’ll lose my virginity Dad.  But I will tell you that when I do, I’ll be a good guy to whoever she is because you’ve set a perfect example of what not to do.

“You know where the door is.”

”Frankie,” I said as I stood up from his bed.

”Go,” he instructed.

I did linger for a few seconds.  I have never felt so small in my entire life and it certainly isn’t his fault.  Everything he said was the absolute truth.  While I didn’t expect it, he gave me so much to think about.  Of all the times people have shut me down and rendered me speechless, not only is this one of them, but also the most significant example.

After throwing on a hoodie, I didn’t say a single word to anyone.  Instead, I just went outside to the other garage and started messing around with my truck.  I didn’t really accomplish anything.  All I did was pop the hood, then lean my head against my arm on the header panel.  I must’ve stood there in thought and solitude for an hour, maybe more.

Frankie was right about everything.

While it’s true that my wife and I had an agreement, I can’t imagine what it might’ve been like for her to know, or at least to think, that whenever I wasn’t home that I was probably screwing someone else.  The sudden realization hit me like a damn wrecking ball and all at once, quiet tears streamed down my face.

Soaking in my own salty tears, I thought about everything Frankie told me.  I really did try to be a good role model for him.  Instead, I became the poster boy of what not to do.  For the first time since I met the boy more than three years ago, I feel like he hates me.  I’m not sure which feeling is worse, knowing I’ve failed at being a husband, or knowing that I failed as a father.

”How’d it go?” Lauren asked as she entered the garage.  ”He’s been avoiding me so I’ll assume you told him I saw him.”

”He could probably use a little assurance that that’s not what you’re thinking about when you look at him,” I said to her without even lifting my head to look at her.

”Sure babe,” she says with a chuckle.  ”Seems reasonable for a boys mom to tell him its ok to jerk off.”[orange]

”Well… whatever, I guess.  I don’t know.”

[orange]”Are you crying?” she asked as she changed her tone to more of a concerned one.

Without replying immediately, I lifted my head and wiped my eyes on my sleeve before I turned to face her.

”What’s wrong?”

”Babydoll I’m so sorry,” I began.

”For what?”

”Hurting you the way I had been,” I replied.

She gives me a knowing look, as if she doesn’t want to acknowledge what it is I’m referring to while at the same time, she pulls me into a comforting hug.

”I just…” I began but couldn’t find the words I was looking for.

”What the hell did he say to you?” she asked as she folded her arms into my chest.

”Just things I needed to hear,” I replied.  ”I destroyed whatever pedestal he used to have me on.”

”Baby, don’t take it so hard,” she advised.  ”He just doesn’t understand.”

”He understands plenty,” I corrected her.  ”I’ve been lying to myself since we first got together, Lauren.  I kept telling myself that we made a deal.  I kept saying it wasn’t cheating because I was following the rules.  The rules were shit.  He pointed out that I was the only one fuckin’ around.”

”Well that’s over now, right?” she asked somewhat rhetorically.

”How many times have I said I was done with that shit before reneging and goin’ back on my word?”

Golden silence.

”It’s not me that has an issue with what you’ve done,” she began as she cut through the silence.  ”I knew what you were when I married you.  Maybe you should talk to him.  Let him ask you questions.  Just be an open book.

“That kid is smarter than either of us.  He’s angry because he doesn’t know better.  Let him see your vulnerable side.”

”Where is he?”

”On the pier,” she replied as I left her embrace.  ”I saw the glow of his Switch.  Or at least, I hope that’s what he was playing with.”

”Dammit Lauren,” I laughed slightly as I headed from the garage toward the pier on the backside of the house.  After cresting the hill, I could see the glow of his Switch against the dark backdrop of an autumn evening.  I took my time as I made my way to him.  There was more than a good chance I was about to answer some really tough questions.

He lays on his stomach near the edge with his game in front of his face.

”Hi Dad,” he said quietly.

”How’d you know it was me?”

”I know your footsteps,” he answered.

”Can we talk?” I asked the boy.

He didn’t answer immediately.  I was fully prepared for him to tell me no and I would’ve been okay with that.  He laid motionless for a few moments before sitting up and looking at me.

”I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he said as he started to choke up a little.  ”I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

”I really appreciate you saying that,” I replied.  ”But you were exactly right from top to bottom.  I’m sorry I did things that made you so angry.  I’m sorry I hurt you so much that you felt you had to let me have it.

“Come sit with me.”

Frankie hesitated for a few moments before getting to his feet and sitting beside me on the swing on the side of the pier.

”For the last couple hours I’ve been thinking about all the things you said and reflecting on what I’ve done,” I began.  ”There’s probably a million questions you have going through your head and if you wanna ask them, ask them.”

We both sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes.  Inside my own head, I wondered what exactly was going through his mind.  I know he doesn’t hate me, but I sure felt like he did.

”I guess the obvious question is why?” he asked his first question.

”I don’t know if there’s any one answer,” I began as I thought about an honest reply.  ”It’s like I have this compulsion.  If I had more self control, I’d have stopped a long time ago, but when the blood starts flowing it’s… I don’t know, it’s very difficult to pull back.”

”How many have there been?” he asked.

”Too many,” I said with shame.  ”So many that I don’t even remember most of them.”

”How did you meet them?”

”Most of them are my friends,” I replied.  ”They were friends before and they remain friends now.”

”So… all these women that I’ve met over the years,” he pressed.  ”They’ve all slept with my dad and we just stay his blind, unsuspecting family?”

”I haven’t slept with all of my friends, but,” I paused in thought.  ”Most of them.”

”Can you recognize how disgusting that is?” he asked.

”I do,” I replied quickly.  ”I always did.”

”After all this time and all the times you said you’d stop but didn’t, what makes you think you can do it now?” he asked.

”Because I let you down,” I answered to a silent reply.  ”I’ve gone through a lot of shit in my life Frankie.  Realizing that I failed you, that I didn’t meet your expectations as a man, a husband and as a father.

“Kid that cut me right to the bone.”

”So what happens now?”

”I go back into therapy,” I answered emphatically.

”Back?” he echoed.  ”You went into therapy for it before?”

”Yeah.”

”Why didn’t you stay in it?” he asked.  ”Why didn’t it work?”

”I didn’t stay in it because my therapist determined I wasn’t addicted,” I answered his first question.  ”It might have worked, but it was one on one therapy.  I think maybe this time I’ll try group therapy.”

”That seems like an odd idea,” he said as he looked up at me.  ”Think about it.  A whole bunch of sex addicts in one place?” he chuckled slightly.

”Yeah I got it,” I said with a laugh as I pulled him into a side hug.  ”But maybe hearing other peoples stories will help me.”

”Did what I said earlier really do this?” he asked.

”Yeah,” I answered him truthfully.  ”I’ve gone through life not really giving a shit what people thought of me.  In my work over the years, everyone mostly just fires spitballs to see what sticks anyway so I kinda take what they say with a grain of salt.

“You’re not them.  You’re my boy.  My first boy.  You matter to me.  Your thoughts, your feelings, they matter to me more than pretty much anything.”

Frankie and I sat there talking for about another forty five minutes.  A lot of times we’re just passing by, as in he’s going to school or I’m going to work.  Life is busy and I don’t always have the time to just sit and talk with him.  I love when we do though.  Even if it’s like today where we fight and have to work it out.

I have said it from the day I met him that he’s a special person.  I meant it then and I still mean it now.  This kid is hands down the best thing that has ever happened to me.  While I don’t deserve him, I think I see the light now.  I think I see what it is I need to do to be the man I need to be for him.  I don’t expect it’ll be easy.  Women don’t just suddenly stop being sexually appealing.  They don’t just suddenly stop waving me to their room.

I don’t know how to fix it.

But I do know I won’t stop trying.

He deserves that.  T.J. and Caty deserve that.  Gracie’s memory deserves that.  Most of all my wife deserves that.

Stannis was right.  Hard truths cut both ways.]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=47003 Sun, 15 Oct 2023 11:46:24 -0700 Thaddeus Duke]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=47003 Paradise Ridge

Long Island, NY

Lauren Duke carries a laundry basket with fresh, clean articles inside.  She works her way down the second floor hallway, first stopping at the linen closet near the bathroom.  As expected, she removes a few towels and wash clothes from the basket and puts them away.  Next, she makes her way to the master bedroom and disappears inside for a minute or so.

Exiting her and her husband's bedroom, and resumes down the hallway with just a few articles left.  Three doors down, she opens the door and stops in her tracks.  Lauren lingered for just a second and backed out of the room, quietly closing it behind her.

With her back to the door, she sets the laundry basket down and continues down the hallway, making her toward the steps.  She hurries downstairs and through the family room, passing Berta on her way through.  Lauren doesn’t stop until she enters the attached garage.  Inside the garage, Thaddeus lays on a creeper seat beneath Lauren’s Jeep Wrangler.  Saying nothing at the moment, Lauren searches through the cabinets along the wall until she finds what she’s looking for.

---

”Hey,” I called out to Lauren from beneath her Jeep.  ”We probably need to get this thing into the dealership.  I think the transmission is leaking.”

”What!?  Why?  It barely even has ten thousand miles on it,” she replied.

”Well,” I said as I continued to ratchet in the oil pan drain plug.  ”It’s definitely leaking.”

”Yeah well, we have bigger issues,” she said as she leaned against my Monte Carlo.

”Like what?” I asked.  Instead of verbally responding, she tosses a brand new doorknob right into my crotch.  ”OOOF!” I yelped while grabbing my brand new injury.

”Did that hurt?” she asked.

”Li’l bit, yeah,” I confirmed.

”Good,” she replied.

Sliding from beneath her Jeep, I looked up at her.  ”What the hell did I do?”

”Nothing,” she replied.  ”You’re a man and men are gross right now.”

”Huuuuh?” I questioned with an obviously perplexed look on my face.

”You need to change Frankie’s doorknob,” she stated as she began to head back inside.

”Why?  Did he break it?” I asked.

”No,” she stopped on the step before entering the house.  ”I was putting laundry away and I went into his room.  I did not put his clothes away, Leander!  I backed out of his room and came straight here.”

”Okay, why?”

”Thaddeus,” she began.  ”What were you doing at 13 when you were in your room alone?”

Thinking about it for a minute, I didn’t want to acknowledge she might be right.  Last year, I caught him watching porn on his laptop.  I made the wrong call by allowing him to continue with restrictions.  Though I did correct that later and put a block on anything porn related.  Not even on his phone through the wifi could he access it.

Climbing to my feet, I set the packaged doorknob on the fender of her Jeep.  ”You don’t know that’s what he was doing,” I protested.

”Oh yes, I know exactly what he was doing, Leander,” she stated.  ”He didn’t hear me, he didn’t see me and he was NOT covered up.”

”Awww maaaaaan,” I whined.  ”But I just wanted to do guy stuff todayyyy.”

”Mission accomplished,” she replied quickly.  ”There’s literally nothing that’s more ‘guy stuff’ than jerking off.”

”I really hate it when you make good points,” I said facetiously.

”And he’s dating now,” she reminded me.  ”Against my protests.”

”I don’t like him growin’ up any more than you do,” I protested her tone.

”I mean what usually comes after masturbating?”

”Is that a trick question?” I asked and she looked at me with a confused look.  ”The person comes after masturbating.”

”I meant chronologically, dickhead,” she corrected me.

”Ohhh… no, it’s way too early for that.”

”Is it?” she asked as she stepped back down into the garage and approached me.  ”How old were you?”

”Fifteen,” I replied.  ”But he’s smarter than me.”

”How smart is anyone when they’re horny?” she asked.  ”He’s thirteen two weeks from today, Baby.  15 isn’t that far away.”

”Do I really have to do this?” I asked as she wrapped her arms around me and leaned her head against my chest.  ”I’m sure there’s pamphlets or something.”

”You’re the one that adopted a pre-teen boy,” she reminded me.  ”You literally signed up for this.”

”Maybe we can give him back now,” I joked.  I would never.  Neither would she.

---

For the better part of the day, I avoided Frankie the best I could.  It’s not the easiest of conversations to have and I never had that talk with anyone when I was growing up.  When I was young and my own father sat me down and decided to try and give me that talk, it went as smooth as you might expect from a man that had very little ability in the fatherhood department and even worse social skills.  Granted, I am certainly not the best father, but I try really hard to make the right decisions.  Most of the time I do, sometimes I don’t.

Noticing my avoidance of the situation, Lauren wouldn’t say a word to me all day long.  All she did was give me that look.  Spend more than a week with a woman and you know damn well what look I’m talking about.  It’s that one that sends chills down your spine.  It’s that look that says everything without uttering a single syllable.  It’s that one where you want to look away, but you just can’t and your body is motivated to leave the area in a fight or flight sort of involuntary reaction.

There’s more to my reluctance than just talking about growing up with a not yet 13 year old boy.  He’s aware of what I’ve done in the past.  How do I have that talk with him and not sound like a giant hypocrite?  I wanted to stop before he noticed, but I didn’t.  I wanted to be a good role model for him, and Talon too when he’s of age, but I most certainly am not.  This predicament is of my own making.  I know that, but it doesn’t make it any easier.  There are no words in existence that can defend my own actions and I know damn well he will challenge me on what I’ve done.  I’m okay with him challenging me.  I welcome that part.

But I don’t have answers to the questions about me that I know he has.  Moreover, he gets frustrated when he doesn’t hear the answers he wants.  When that happens, he has a tendency to act out.

After dinner, I went upstairs to install his new doorknob.  As I was finishing up, Frankie came into his room.

”Hey,” he greeted me.  ”What are you doing to my door?”

For a moment, with a screw hanging from my mouth, I only looked at him.

”Take a seat kiddo,” I said after removing the screw from my lip and zipping it into his door.

”Mom said you wanted to talk to me about something,” he said as he plopped down in his gaming chair.

”Yeah,” I agreed as I closed his door.  Setting the drill down on his desk, I reached into my front pocket and pulled out the keys.  Removing one from the ring, I slid it back into my pocket then handed him the other one.

”You gave me a lock?” he questioned as he looked at the key in his hand.

”Yeah,” I answered as I nervously sat on the edge of his bed.  ”For your privacy.”

He looked at me with a somewhat scared look on his face when I said ‘privacy’.

”Mom saw you,” I said to him.  ”This morning.”

His eyes grew wide and his face turned beet red with embarrassment.

”Buddy, there’s nothin’ to be embarrassed about,” I said while he started nervously spinning left and right, then back again in his chair.  ”At your age, it’s literally the most natural thing you’re doing.”

”Mom saw me!” he protested.  ”I know she saw everything because I don’t…” his voice trailed for a second.  ”That’s so embarrassing,” he concluded quietly.

”Why is that embarrassing?” I asked.  I wasn’t being a smartass, I was genuinely curious.  My whole life, I never felt any shame if people saw me in an otherwise compromising situation.  No matter how old I was or how developed, I just never cared if people saw.

”How is it not?” he asked.  ”What boy wants their mother to walk in and see them with their weiner in their hand?”

”Mom doesn’t care that you’re doin’ that,” I argued.  ”She just wanted to make sure you had your privacy so you could.”

”Boys don’t want their moms to see their private parts!” he argued back.  ”Especially not when we’re doin’ that!  It’s… it’s… private!”

Maybe I’m missing that particular gene because I really just don’t get it.

”Okay, okay… let’s calm down.”

Now that I think about it, maybe I don’t get it because I grew up in a fortress surrounded by men and boys of all ages.  It was almost a regular occurrence for me to accidentally walk in on someone or someone else to walk in on me.  It was never intentional, but a quick retreat with a ‘sorry’ attached usually sufficed.  No one was ever embarrassed.  It just was what it was.

Growing up and being athletic and in sports, I can’t even begin to tell you the general weirdness of boys locker rooms.  From middle school through at least junior high, a lot of things go on there that no one would admit to as they grew older.  None of it sexual in nature at that age, but certainly exploratory with hands grabbing things that didn’t belong to them followed by laughs and wrestling around.  It was just horseplay and nothing more.

Naturally, I tried to put myself in his shoes and think about what I’d have done if I was doing that and my mother walked in on me.  She died when I was an infant though, so it’s kind of impossible for me to know for sure.

Anyway, the time came for me to change directions.

”Homecoming in a week,” I reminded him.  To which, he smiled pleasantly as he thought of his girlfriend.  ”That reminds me, I picked up your suit yesterday.”

For a few minutes, I continued to skirt around the actual subject of what I was trying to talk about.  In a general sense, I wasn’t nervous to talk to him about sex and what it means or any of that.  Just… I know the kind of man that I’ve been so far.  In my head, I always said he was naive and didn’t see what I was really doing while I said many times that I wanted to be a better role model for him.  I was lying to myself.  He called me on it not long before Lauren and I had our wedding.

I stopped.

I deserve exactly zero credit for that.  I’ve tried to stop several times, but it never sticks.  Once, I even entered therapy for sex addiction and my therapist eventually told me I did not have an addiction.  Almost immediately after leaving therapy, I found myself inside yet another woman that was not my wife.

It’s disgusting.  It’s sickening.  It’s embarrassing.  I wish I wasn’t that way but no matter how hard I try not to be, no matter how much pressure I put on myself to do better, to be better, I always fuck it up.  One body with tight curves, one glancing smile, one hint of flowery perfume and my body is already preparing itself.  Like I can’t control the impulse.  I love women.  I like men too, but not nearly as much as I enjoy the female persuasion.

I’m a pretty attractive guy and that opens a lot of bedroom doors.  My brain knows that and every fucking time it’s like “let’s see if I still got it.”  Spoiler alert, I almost always “still got it.”

”Let’s talk about you,” I said to Frankie.  He looked up at me and raised an eyebrow.

Well…

Here goes nothin’.]]> Paradise Ridge

Long Island, NY

Lauren Duke carries a laundry basket with fresh, clean articles inside.  She works her way down the second floor hallway, first stopping at the linen closet near the bathroom.  As expected, she removes a few towels and wash clothes from the basket and puts them away.  Next, she makes her way to the master bedroom and disappears inside for a minute or so.

Exiting her and her husband's bedroom, and resumes down the hallway with just a few articles left.  Three doors down, she opens the door and stops in her tracks.  Lauren lingered for just a second and backed out of the room, quietly closing it behind her.

With her back to the door, she sets the laundry basket down and continues down the hallway, making her toward the steps.  She hurries downstairs and through the family room, passing Berta on her way through.  Lauren doesn’t stop until she enters the attached garage.  Inside the garage, Thaddeus lays on a creeper seat beneath Lauren’s Jeep Wrangler.  Saying nothing at the moment, Lauren searches through the cabinets along the wall until she finds what she’s looking for.

---

”Hey,” I called out to Lauren from beneath her Jeep.  ”We probably need to get this thing into the dealership.  I think the transmission is leaking.”

”What!?  Why?  It barely even has ten thousand miles on it,” she replied.

”Well,” I said as I continued to ratchet in the oil pan drain plug.  ”It’s definitely leaking.”

”Yeah well, we have bigger issues,” she said as she leaned against my Monte Carlo.

”Like what?” I asked.  Instead of verbally responding, she tosses a brand new doorknob right into my crotch.  ”OOOF!” I yelped while grabbing my brand new injury.

”Did that hurt?” she asked.

”Li’l bit, yeah,” I confirmed.

”Good,” she replied.

Sliding from beneath her Jeep, I looked up at her.  ”What the hell did I do?”

”Nothing,” she replied.  ”You’re a man and men are gross right now.”

”Huuuuh?” I questioned with an obviously perplexed look on my face.

”You need to change Frankie’s doorknob,” she stated as she began to head back inside.

”Why?  Did he break it?” I asked.

”No,” she stopped on the step before entering the house.  ”I was putting laundry away and I went into his room.  I did not put his clothes away, Leander!  I backed out of his room and came straight here.”

”Okay, why?”

”Thaddeus,” she began.  ”What were you doing at 13 when you were in your room alone?”

Thinking about it for a minute, I didn’t want to acknowledge she might be right.  Last year, I caught him watching porn on his laptop.  I made the wrong call by allowing him to continue with restrictions.  Though I did correct that later and put a block on anything porn related.  Not even on his phone through the wifi could he access it.

Climbing to my feet, I set the packaged doorknob on the fender of her Jeep.  ”You don’t know that’s what he was doing,” I protested.

”Oh yes, I know exactly what he was doing, Leander,” she stated.  ”He didn’t hear me, he didn’t see me and he was NOT covered up.”

”Awww maaaaaan,” I whined.  ”But I just wanted to do guy stuff todayyyy.”

”Mission accomplished,” she replied quickly.  ”There’s literally nothing that’s more ‘guy stuff’ than jerking off.”

”I really hate it when you make good points,” I said facetiously.

”And he’s dating now,” she reminded me.  ”Against my protests.”

”I don’t like him growin’ up any more than you do,” I protested her tone.

”I mean what usually comes after masturbating?”

”Is that a trick question?” I asked and she looked at me with a confused look.  ”The person comes after masturbating.”

”I meant chronologically, dickhead,” she corrected me.

”Ohhh… no, it’s way too early for that.”

”Is it?” she asked as she stepped back down into the garage and approached me.  ”How old were you?”

”Fifteen,” I replied.  ”But he’s smarter than me.”

”How smart is anyone when they’re horny?” she asked.  ”He’s thirteen two weeks from today, Baby.  15 isn’t that far away.”

”Do I really have to do this?” I asked as she wrapped her arms around me and leaned her head against my chest.  ”I’m sure there’s pamphlets or something.”

”You’re the one that adopted a pre-teen boy,” she reminded me.  ”You literally signed up for this.”

”Maybe we can give him back now,” I joked.  I would never.  Neither would she.

---

For the better part of the day, I avoided Frankie the best I could.  It’s not the easiest of conversations to have and I never had that talk with anyone when I was growing up.  When I was young and my own father sat me down and decided to try and give me that talk, it went as smooth as you might expect from a man that had very little ability in the fatherhood department and even worse social skills.  Granted, I am certainly not the best father, but I try really hard to make the right decisions.  Most of the time I do, sometimes I don’t.

Noticing my avoidance of the situation, Lauren wouldn’t say a word to me all day long.  All she did was give me that look.  Spend more than a week with a woman and you know damn well what look I’m talking about.  It’s that one that sends chills down your spine.  It’s that look that says everything without uttering a single syllable.  It’s that one where you want to look away, but you just can’t and your body is motivated to leave the area in a fight or flight sort of involuntary reaction.

There’s more to my reluctance than just talking about growing up with a not yet 13 year old boy.  He’s aware of what I’ve done in the past.  How do I have that talk with him and not sound like a giant hypocrite?  I wanted to stop before he noticed, but I didn’t.  I wanted to be a good role model for him, and Talon too when he’s of age, but I most certainly am not.  This predicament is of my own making.  I know that, but it doesn’t make it any easier.  There are no words in existence that can defend my own actions and I know damn well he will challenge me on what I’ve done.  I’m okay with him challenging me.  I welcome that part.

But I don’t have answers to the questions about me that I know he has.  Moreover, he gets frustrated when he doesn’t hear the answers he wants.  When that happens, he has a tendency to act out.

After dinner, I went upstairs to install his new doorknob.  As I was finishing up, Frankie came into his room.

”Hey,” he greeted me.  ”What are you doing to my door?”

For a moment, with a screw hanging from my mouth, I only looked at him.

”Take a seat kiddo,” I said after removing the screw from my lip and zipping it into his door.

”Mom said you wanted to talk to me about something,” he said as he plopped down in his gaming chair.

”Yeah,” I agreed as I closed his door.  Setting the drill down on his desk, I reached into my front pocket and pulled out the keys.  Removing one from the ring, I slid it back into my pocket then handed him the other one.

”You gave me a lock?” he questioned as he looked at the key in his hand.

”Yeah,” I answered as I nervously sat on the edge of his bed.  ”For your privacy.”

He looked at me with a somewhat scared look on his face when I said ‘privacy’.

”Mom saw you,” I said to him.  ”This morning.”

His eyes grew wide and his face turned beet red with embarrassment.

”Buddy, there’s nothin’ to be embarrassed about,” I said while he started nervously spinning left and right, then back again in his chair.  ”At your age, it’s literally the most natural thing you’re doing.”

”Mom saw me!” he protested.  ”I know she saw everything because I don’t…” his voice trailed for a second.  ”That’s so embarrassing,” he concluded quietly.

”Why is that embarrassing?” I asked.  I wasn’t being a smartass, I was genuinely curious.  My whole life, I never felt any shame if people saw me in an otherwise compromising situation.  No matter how old I was or how developed, I just never cared if people saw.

”How is it not?” he asked.  ”What boy wants their mother to walk in and see them with their weiner in their hand?”

”Mom doesn’t care that you’re doin’ that,” I argued.  ”She just wanted to make sure you had your privacy so you could.”

”Boys don’t want their moms to see their private parts!” he argued back.  ”Especially not when we’re doin’ that!  It’s… it’s… private!”

Maybe I’m missing that particular gene because I really just don’t get it.

”Okay, okay… let’s calm down.”

Now that I think about it, maybe I don’t get it because I grew up in a fortress surrounded by men and boys of all ages.  It was almost a regular occurrence for me to accidentally walk in on someone or someone else to walk in on me.  It was never intentional, but a quick retreat with a ‘sorry’ attached usually sufficed.  No one was ever embarrassed.  It just was what it was.

Growing up and being athletic and in sports, I can’t even begin to tell you the general weirdness of boys locker rooms.  From middle school through at least junior high, a lot of things go on there that no one would admit to as they grew older.  None of it sexual in nature at that age, but certainly exploratory with hands grabbing things that didn’t belong to them followed by laughs and wrestling around.  It was just horseplay and nothing more.

Naturally, I tried to put myself in his shoes and think about what I’d have done if I was doing that and my mother walked in on me.  She died when I was an infant though, so it’s kind of impossible for me to know for sure.

Anyway, the time came for me to change directions.

”Homecoming in a week,” I reminded him.  To which, he smiled pleasantly as he thought of his girlfriend.  ”That reminds me, I picked up your suit yesterday.”

For a few minutes, I continued to skirt around the actual subject of what I was trying to talk about.  In a general sense, I wasn’t nervous to talk to him about sex and what it means or any of that.  Just… I know the kind of man that I’ve been so far.  In my head, I always said he was naive and didn’t see what I was really doing while I said many times that I wanted to be a better role model for him.  I was lying to myself.  He called me on it not long before Lauren and I had our wedding.

I stopped.

I deserve exactly zero credit for that.  I’ve tried to stop several times, but it never sticks.  Once, I even entered therapy for sex addiction and my therapist eventually told me I did not have an addiction.  Almost immediately after leaving therapy, I found myself inside yet another woman that was not my wife.

It’s disgusting.  It’s sickening.  It’s embarrassing.  I wish I wasn’t that way but no matter how hard I try not to be, no matter how much pressure I put on myself to do better, to be better, I always fuck it up.  One body with tight curves, one glancing smile, one hint of flowery perfume and my body is already preparing itself.  Like I can’t control the impulse.  I love women.  I like men too, but not nearly as much as I enjoy the female persuasion.

I’m a pretty attractive guy and that opens a lot of bedroom doors.  My brain knows that and every fucking time it’s like “let’s see if I still got it.”  Spoiler alert, I almost always “still got it.”

”Let’s talk about you,” I said to Frankie.  He looked up at me and raised an eyebrow.

Well…

Here goes nothin’.]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46951 Mon, 02 Oct 2023 05:49:04 -0700 Sean Parker]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46951 Back to the Beginning - Part I]]> Back to the Beginning - Part I]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46948 Sat, 30 Sep 2023 11:10:38 -0700 Thaddeus Duke]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46948 Madness Headquarters

One World Trade Center

Lower Manhattan, New York City

July

Today is a light day with only one meeting on the books.  As such, I brought my boy along.  After my meeting, we’ll head to Queens and check out the progress of the new Pride stadium.  Only one meeting, but the subject matter is an important one.  With the turnover in leadership of the Madness brand, certain contracts were nullified, and one in particular had expired.

Kevin Mears.

His contract expiring isn’t tough to navigate on its own, but his representation proves to be an awkward situation.  Kat Jones is his agent.  She’s also the CEO of CCPE.  CCPE, I ditched back in January.  Awkward maybe, but business is business and while there were most definitely some hurt feelings along the way, Kat and I have ultimately always been friendly.

”I hate coming to the meetings though,” Frankie said as we stepped from the elevator.  ”I’m always just sitting there in your office for a twenty minute meeting that takes two hours.”

”This isn’t that though,” I replied as we made our way through the lobby.  ”It’s just contract stuff.  We agree on numbers, lawyers do the actual work.”

”Nice try,” he said as we stopped in the hallway.  ”When you negotiated mom’s last contract it took you three and a half hours.”

”That was different,” I began.

”Everything is always “different,”” he argued, using finger quotes.  ”It’s never that different.”

”Well, this time it is because we’ve agreed on most things,” I replied.

”What have you not agreed on?”

”Pay,” I answered.

”I was in a lot of contract meetings, Dad.  That’s literally the biggest one.”

”I know, but we’re close.  That’s why Kat’s here today,” I said just as Kat and a young girl stepped from the elevator.

”Heyyy Thad,” Kat says as the two of them step nearer to us.

”Who’s she?” Frankie asked under his breath.  ”Ask who she is,” he demands in a voice level they can’t hear yet.

”Hey Kat, welcome to fabulous New York City!” I happily greeted Kat that was followed up with an elbow in my side from Frankie.

”Hey Frankie,” she greeted the boy.

”Hey Kat,” he says while not removing his eyes from the girl.

”And who’s this one?” I asked.

”Penny,” the young girl answers with an extended hand.

We shake, naturally.

”Who’s he?” Penny asks, referring to Frankie.

”Uhhhhh…”

”Frankie,” I whispered in his direction as I tried hard to stop myself from laughing.

”Frankie,” he answered with an extended hand toward her.  ”Thanks,” he whispered back in my direction.

They shake hands… and it lingers.



Kat and I both noticed and for a moment, all we did was smile.  Penny is a cute girl and Frankie is a cute boy, it’s only natural that they might find each other attractive.  It’s cute though.

”You two sit over there while Kat and I get this done?” I suggested.

Normally, Frankie comes in with me, but I just felt like maybe those two kids needed a little bit of privacy where they could speak openly and confidently while not having authority figures lingering over them.  They finally release each other's hands and make their way to a row of chairs along the glass wall.  Kat and I stay back and just observe as Frankie holds a finger up to Penny, wipes the chair with his hand then offers her a seat.

”Chivalry… nice!”

”Im raising a good boy,” I replied with some pride in my voice.  Frankie doesn’t have many friends, let alone a friend that’s a girl.

”How old is he now?” Kat asked.

”Twelve,” I answered before correcting myself.  ”Two-teen, if you ask him.”

Kat chuckles.  ”They always wanna grow up so fast,” she said.  ”We were the same way when we were their age.”

”I keep trying to slow him down,” I said as we made our way toward my office.  ”A lot of that is just selfishness on my part.  He’ll be 13 on October 28th and I am not ready for him to grow up yet.  Starts 7th grade in the fall… Kat, I am not ready.

“I just want him to stay a little boy.  That’s a battle I’m losing every day.  His voice is starting to crack, he smells like a boy when he’s been outside all day.  He really gotta knock it off.”

”Penny’s 12 too,” she said as we took our seats.

”Let’s get this business out of the way,” I said as we shifted subjects.

We talked easily for twenty minutes about Kevin Mears and his contract demands.  Most of them I could meet without a problem.  The sticking point was the dollar figure he wanted per year.  Madness didn’t offer annual dollar amounts, so what we came up with was a per appearance fee.  Madness has approximately 25 shows annually, including Relentless and Madness exclusive pay per view events.  If Mears works 20 shows, I’ll consider that a full year and he'll get a bonus at year's end to get him at least close to, but not exactly the dollar figure he wanted.

Say what you want about Kevin Mears.  There was a reason I brought in so many names from outside the Madness roster.  Most of the roster I inherited, were never going to cut it under my administration.  It’s not that they don’t have the talent, it’s that I have a higher form of expectations regarding what sort of work they put into themselves.  Too many want to be the big star they see themselves as without putting in the actual work to see it through.

Those days are decidedly over.  Kevin Mears, while he may be the type to come in, do what he’s gotta do to get himself over, then go home, he’s still putting in the work to get it done.  I respect that, even if not his methods.  Regardless, Kevin Mears is the type of guy that you can build an entire brand around.  If he keeps putting in the work and exercises a little bit of patience, that man will wear gold on Monday Nights.

Near the conclusion of our discussion on Kevin Mears, I began looking past Kat over her shoulder.  Out in the lobby, Frankie and Penny seemed to be hitting it off.  They both were all smiles and laughter.

”Ya think they like each other?” I asked facetiously.  Clearly, they did.  Regardless, Kat turns in her chair to see what I’m seeing.

”They couldn’t be any more obvious, really,” she said as we watched the burgeoning puppy love.

We sat quietly and just looked on as Penny said something that made Frankie smile and his whole entire face turn red.

”Oooo, what you think she said?” I asked.  ”She made him blush.”

”I don’t know,” Kat replied.  ”She’s a lot like her mother.  And me.  She doesn’t have much of a filter and whatever pops into her head, that’s what she says.”

”They’re kind of adorable,” I said as we continued to witness this preteen romance.

”Aww he forgot his name earlier,” Kat remembered.  ”That was cute.”

”Yeah,” I agreed with a chuckle.  ”Never thought I’d play wingman to a 12 year old.”

”Two-teen,” Kat jokingly corrected me.

”Ha!  How could I forget?”

”Oh oh!” Kat said as her eyes grew wide.  ”Now she’s blushing!  Penny never blushes!  You might have a little Casanova on your hands, Thaddeus.”

Looking up and seeing us watching, Frankie nudges Penny.  Penny turns her head to see us looking on.  Immediately, the two clam up and shut down.

”Damn,” I said as I stood up.  Kat and I began a leisurely stroll toward the glass door of my office.  ”I was enjoying the show.”

Kat laughed to herself as we exited the office and said our goodbyes.  For a brief moment, as Frankie and I leaned against the glass wall, Penny turned to look at him once before she boarded the elevator and shot him a smile.

”Sooooo…”

”Shut up,” he interrupted me.

”Whaaat?  I just wanna know all the details.”

”Your my dad,” he didn’t hesitate to remind me.

”I know, and I have a vested interest in your happiness,” I didn’t hesitate to remind him.  ”What’d she say that made you blush?”

”Oh my God I was blushing?” he asked.  ”That’s embarrassing.”

”She did too, so what’d she say to you?”

”She said I was cute,” he answered a little sheepishly.

”You are cute, that’s not a surprise.”

”You’re supposed to say that, you’re my Dad,” he says as he looks up at me.

”I’m not supposed to say that at all, your mom is,” I learned the boy.

”Oh yeah,” he remembers.  ”Stop saying that.”

”Absolutely not,” I replied quickly.  ”I won’t lie to you.  You’re a damn good looking kid and I won’t ever stop telling you that.”

”Uggggh.”

”What’d you say to her?”

”I just said she was really pretty and I liked her smile,” he admitted.

It took everything I had not to do some sort of victory dance.  I like seeing this kid win…  On his own.

”She gave me this,” he said as he showed me the palm of his left hand.

”That’s not the hand you…”

”Shut up,” he interrupted.  ”Anyway, I’m right handed.”

Grabbing his hand, I looked at Penny’s number written on his palm.

”You little heartthrob!” I said excitedly.  ”I’m happy for you.”

”I really like her,” he said with some sadness.

”Did you wanna take her to lunch?” I asked.

”They already left.”

”They’re probably only in the lobby now,” I said to him.  ”We’ll take them to lunch and you two can sit off by yourself.”

”I dunno…”

”Call her and ask,” I urged him.

”She just gave me her number two minutes ago,” he said.  ”Won’t that look a little…”

”Call her, Francis,” I insisted.

Nervously, he rolled away from the glass wall and retreated into my office to use his phone.

”They were really sweet,” Janet chimed in from like two feet away.

”He doesn’t realize how difficult it’ll be,” I replied to her.  ”I’ll have to tell him once they leave.”

”What do you mean?” Janet asked.

”He lives in New York, she lives in Colorado… neither of them are moving.”

”No,” she agreed.  ”But you’re his biggest fan, Thaddeus.  You literally have your own planes and we both know you’ll fly him to spend time with her whenever you can.”

”Of course I will,” I agreed with a smile.  ”He deserves whatever he wants.”

”What you should be more concerned with is letting him know that teenage romances almost never work,” she replied.

”True but…” my voice trailed off for a moment as I thought about it.  ”You never know.  Maybe they’re different and they’ll defy the odds?”

”Let’s go,” Frankie said excitedly as he left my office.  On his way by, he grabs my wrist, pulling me toward the elevator across the lobby.

”I’m comin’,” I said as he let go of my wrist.  Inside the elevator I pulled a credit card from my wallet and handed it to him.

”What’s this for?” he asked.

”Can’t have your dad showing up to pay for your first date, right?” I asked.

”It’s not a…” he said before stopping himself.  ”Wait is this a date?”

”What else would you call it?” I asked as the elevator started its descent.

While the elevator begins its descent, Frankie starts his own descent into a panic attack.  At first, I laughed, but then I realized this wasn’t just kid nerves, but full on, real anxiety.  Smacking the emergency stop button on the panel, the elevator stops quickly.  Kneeling so I could look up into his face, I grabbed his face and made him look at me. 

"I got you and you got this," I began.  ”There’s nothing to be worried about,” I told him.  ”Penny already likes you.  All you gotta do is keep being yourself.  Relaxed, laid back, easy going, charismatic Frankie.  People love you for a reason.

“You’re a genuine article, Frankie.  Just keep being you.  If you do get stuck… text me, and I’ll help you out.”

Once I concluded, I pulled the emergency stop button and the elevator continued its descent.

”Thanks Dad,” he said as he calmed down.

”It’s natural to be nervous,” I said to him.

”You’re never nervous,” he retorted.

”That is not remotely true,” I admitted to him.  ”But confidence masks many things.”

Once the elevator stopped, the doors opened.  Kat and Penny were both there waiting for us.  After the young ones greeted each other, they walked side by side several paces in front of Kat and I.

”I told him they could go sit by themselves, hope that’s ok,” I said to Kat as we walked.

”Yeah of course,” she agreed.  ”Look at you, playing Wingman and Cupid.”

”He about had an anxiety attack on the way down,” I informed her.  ”That’s what took us so long.”

”Awww,” she reacted.  ”How’d you navigate that?”

”Just reminded him who he is and why people love him,” I answered.

And now, Kat and I escorted the two little love birds to a downtown French cafe for what would be the first of their many, yet somewhat infrequent dates.]]> Madness Headquarters

One World Trade Center

Lower Manhattan, New York City

July

Today is a light day with only one meeting on the books.  As such, I brought my boy along.  After my meeting, we’ll head to Queens and check out the progress of the new Pride stadium.  Only one meeting, but the subject matter is an important one.  With the turnover in leadership of the Madness brand, certain contracts were nullified, and one in particular had expired.

Kevin Mears.

His contract expiring isn’t tough to navigate on its own, but his representation proves to be an awkward situation.  Kat Jones is his agent.  She’s also the CEO of CCPE.  CCPE, I ditched back in January.  Awkward maybe, but business is business and while there were most definitely some hurt feelings along the way, Kat and I have ultimately always been friendly.

”I hate coming to the meetings though,” Frankie said as we stepped from the elevator.  ”I’m always just sitting there in your office for a twenty minute meeting that takes two hours.”

”This isn’t that though,” I replied as we made our way through the lobby.  ”It’s just contract stuff.  We agree on numbers, lawyers do the actual work.”

”Nice try,” he said as we stopped in the hallway.  ”When you negotiated mom’s last contract it took you three and a half hours.”

”That was different,” I began.

”Everything is always “different,”” he argued, using finger quotes.  ”It’s never that different.”

”Well, this time it is because we’ve agreed on most things,” I replied.

”What have you not agreed on?”

”Pay,” I answered.

”I was in a lot of contract meetings, Dad.  That’s literally the biggest one.”

”I know, but we’re close.  That’s why Kat’s here today,” I said just as Kat and a young girl stepped from the elevator.

”Heyyy Thad,” Kat says as the two of them step nearer to us.

”Who’s she?” Frankie asked under his breath.  ”Ask who she is,” he demands in a voice level they can’t hear yet.

”Hey Kat, welcome to fabulous New York City!” I happily greeted Kat that was followed up with an elbow in my side from Frankie.

”Hey Frankie,” she greeted the boy.

”Hey Kat,” he says while not removing his eyes from the girl.

”And who’s this one?” I asked.

”Penny,” the young girl answers with an extended hand.

We shake, naturally.

”Who’s he?” Penny asks, referring to Frankie.

”Uhhhhh…”

”Frankie,” I whispered in his direction as I tried hard to stop myself from laughing.

”Frankie,” he answered with an extended hand toward her.  ”Thanks,” he whispered back in my direction.

They shake hands… and it lingers.



Kat and I both noticed and for a moment, all we did was smile.  Penny is a cute girl and Frankie is a cute boy, it’s only natural that they might find each other attractive.  It’s cute though.

”You two sit over there while Kat and I get this done?” I suggested.

Normally, Frankie comes in with me, but I just felt like maybe those two kids needed a little bit of privacy where they could speak openly and confidently while not having authority figures lingering over them.  They finally release each other's hands and make their way to a row of chairs along the glass wall.  Kat and I stay back and just observe as Frankie holds a finger up to Penny, wipes the chair with his hand then offers her a seat.

”Chivalry… nice!”

”Im raising a good boy,” I replied with some pride in my voice.  Frankie doesn’t have many friends, let alone a friend that’s a girl.

”How old is he now?” Kat asked.

”Twelve,” I answered before correcting myself.  ”Two-teen, if you ask him.”

Kat chuckles.  ”They always wanna grow up so fast,” she said.  ”We were the same way when we were their age.”

”I keep trying to slow him down,” I said as we made our way toward my office.  ”A lot of that is just selfishness on my part.  He’ll be 13 on October 28th and I am not ready for him to grow up yet.  Starts 7th grade in the fall… Kat, I am not ready.

“I just want him to stay a little boy.  That’s a battle I’m losing every day.  His voice is starting to crack, he smells like a boy when he’s been outside all day.  He really gotta knock it off.”

”Penny’s 12 too,” she said as we took our seats.

”Let’s get this business out of the way,” I said as we shifted subjects.

We talked easily for twenty minutes about Kevin Mears and his contract demands.  Most of them I could meet without a problem.  The sticking point was the dollar figure he wanted per year.  Madness didn’t offer annual dollar amounts, so what we came up with was a per appearance fee.  Madness has approximately 25 shows annually, including Relentless and Madness exclusive pay per view events.  If Mears works 20 shows, I’ll consider that a full year and he'll get a bonus at year's end to get him at least close to, but not exactly the dollar figure he wanted.

Say what you want about Kevin Mears.  There was a reason I brought in so many names from outside the Madness roster.  Most of the roster I inherited, were never going to cut it under my administration.  It’s not that they don’t have the talent, it’s that I have a higher form of expectations regarding what sort of work they put into themselves.  Too many want to be the big star they see themselves as without putting in the actual work to see it through.

Those days are decidedly over.  Kevin Mears, while he may be the type to come in, do what he’s gotta do to get himself over, then go home, he’s still putting in the work to get it done.  I respect that, even if not his methods.  Regardless, Kevin Mears is the type of guy that you can build an entire brand around.  If he keeps putting in the work and exercises a little bit of patience, that man will wear gold on Monday Nights.

Near the conclusion of our discussion on Kevin Mears, I began looking past Kat over her shoulder.  Out in the lobby, Frankie and Penny seemed to be hitting it off.  They both were all smiles and laughter.

”Ya think they like each other?” I asked facetiously.  Clearly, they did.  Regardless, Kat turns in her chair to see what I’m seeing.

”They couldn’t be any more obvious, really,” she said as we watched the burgeoning puppy love.

We sat quietly and just looked on as Penny said something that made Frankie smile and his whole entire face turn red.

”Oooo, what you think she said?” I asked.  ”She made him blush.”

”I don’t know,” Kat replied.  ”She’s a lot like her mother.  And me.  She doesn’t have much of a filter and whatever pops into her head, that’s what she says.”

”They’re kind of adorable,” I said as we continued to witness this preteen romance.

”Aww he forgot his name earlier,” Kat remembered.  ”That was cute.”

”Yeah,” I agreed with a chuckle.  ”Never thought I’d play wingman to a 12 year old.”

”Two-teen,” Kat jokingly corrected me.

”Ha!  How could I forget?”

”Oh oh!” Kat said as her eyes grew wide.  ”Now she’s blushing!  Penny never blushes!  You might have a little Casanova on your hands, Thaddeus.”

Looking up and seeing us watching, Frankie nudges Penny.  Penny turns her head to see us looking on.  Immediately, the two clam up and shut down.

”Damn,” I said as I stood up.  Kat and I began a leisurely stroll toward the glass door of my office.  ”I was enjoying the show.”

Kat laughed to herself as we exited the office and said our goodbyes.  For a brief moment, as Frankie and I leaned against the glass wall, Penny turned to look at him once before she boarded the elevator and shot him a smile.

”Sooooo…”

”Shut up,” he interrupted me.

”Whaaat?  I just wanna know all the details.”

”Your my dad,” he didn’t hesitate to remind me.

”I know, and I have a vested interest in your happiness,” I didn’t hesitate to remind him.  ”What’d she say that made you blush?”

”Oh my God I was blushing?” he asked.  ”That’s embarrassing.”

”She did too, so what’d she say to you?”

”She said I was cute,” he answered a little sheepishly.

”You are cute, that’s not a surprise.”

”You’re supposed to say that, you’re my Dad,” he says as he looks up at me.

”I’m not supposed to say that at all, your mom is,” I learned the boy.

”Oh yeah,” he remembers.  ”Stop saying that.”

”Absolutely not,” I replied quickly.  ”I won’t lie to you.  You’re a damn good looking kid and I won’t ever stop telling you that.”

”Uggggh.”

”What’d you say to her?”

”I just said she was really pretty and I liked her smile,” he admitted.

It took everything I had not to do some sort of victory dance.  I like seeing this kid win…  On his own.

”She gave me this,” he said as he showed me the palm of his left hand.

”That’s not the hand you…”

”Shut up,” he interrupted.  ”Anyway, I’m right handed.”

Grabbing his hand, I looked at Penny’s number written on his palm.

”You little heartthrob!” I said excitedly.  ”I’m happy for you.”

”I really like her,” he said with some sadness.

”Did you wanna take her to lunch?” I asked.

”They already left.”

”They’re probably only in the lobby now,” I said to him.  ”We’ll take them to lunch and you two can sit off by yourself.”

”I dunno…”

”Call her and ask,” I urged him.

”She just gave me her number two minutes ago,” he said.  ”Won’t that look a little…”

”Call her, Francis,” I insisted.

Nervously, he rolled away from the glass wall and retreated into my office to use his phone.

”They were really sweet,” Janet chimed in from like two feet away.

”He doesn’t realize how difficult it’ll be,” I replied to her.  ”I’ll have to tell him once they leave.”

”What do you mean?” Janet asked.

”He lives in New York, she lives in Colorado… neither of them are moving.”

”No,” she agreed.  ”But you’re his biggest fan, Thaddeus.  You literally have your own planes and we both know you’ll fly him to spend time with her whenever you can.”

”Of course I will,” I agreed with a smile.  ”He deserves whatever he wants.”

”What you should be more concerned with is letting him know that teenage romances almost never work,” she replied.

”True but…” my voice trailed off for a moment as I thought about it.  ”You never know.  Maybe they’re different and they’ll defy the odds?”

”Let’s go,” Frankie said excitedly as he left my office.  On his way by, he grabs my wrist, pulling me toward the elevator across the lobby.

”I’m comin’,” I said as he let go of my wrist.  Inside the elevator I pulled a credit card from my wallet and handed it to him.

”What’s this for?” he asked.

”Can’t have your dad showing up to pay for your first date, right?” I asked.

”It’s not a…” he said before stopping himself.  ”Wait is this a date?”

”What else would you call it?” I asked as the elevator started its descent.

While the elevator begins its descent, Frankie starts his own descent into a panic attack.  At first, I laughed, but then I realized this wasn’t just kid nerves, but full on, real anxiety.  Smacking the emergency stop button on the panel, the elevator stops quickly.  Kneeling so I could look up into his face, I grabbed his face and made him look at me. 

"I got you and you got this," I began.  ”There’s nothing to be worried about,” I told him.  ”Penny already likes you.  All you gotta do is keep being yourself.  Relaxed, laid back, easy going, charismatic Frankie.  People love you for a reason.

“You’re a genuine article, Frankie.  Just keep being you.  If you do get stuck… text me, and I’ll help you out.”

Once I concluded, I pulled the emergency stop button and the elevator continued its descent.

”Thanks Dad,” he said as he calmed down.

”It’s natural to be nervous,” I said to him.

”You’re never nervous,” he retorted.

”That is not remotely true,” I admitted to him.  ”But confidence masks many things.”

Once the elevator stopped, the doors opened.  Kat and Penny were both there waiting for us.  After the young ones greeted each other, they walked side by side several paces in front of Kat and I.

”I told him they could go sit by themselves, hope that’s ok,” I said to Kat as we walked.

”Yeah of course,” she agreed.  ”Look at you, playing Wingman and Cupid.”

”He about had an anxiety attack on the way down,” I informed her.  ”That’s what took us so long.”

”Awww,” she reacted.  ”How’d you navigate that?”

”Just reminded him who he is and why people love him,” I answered.

And now, Kat and I escorted the two little love birds to a downtown French cafe for what would be the first of their many, yet somewhat infrequent dates.]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46938 Thu, 28 Sep 2023 15:53:24 -0700 Thaddeus Duke]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46938 Madness Headquarters

One World Trade Center

Lower Manhattan, New York City

After having lunch with my wife, Penelope and her girlfriend Gina, I was light of foot and chipper as I made my way from the elevator toward my office.  No, there was no hanky panky, but there’s a million reasons that I’m happy.  ‘Hotstepper’ blasts through my Beats earbuds.  Unable to help myself, I dance up the hall to the beat of the classic song.

”Hey Janet,” I greeted my gatekeeper as I removed my Pittsburgh Steelers ball cap, then did that smooth little hand trickery before placing it back on my head.  ”Any messages?”

Janet answers, but I hear nothing on account of the music.  Removing the buds, ”What?”

”I said Mr. Pryce is in your office,” she repeated.

”Shit,” I mumbled under my breath.

”Problem?” she asked.

”I forgot it was Thursday,” I replied as I leaned with my backside against her glass desk.  ”I’m supposed to have a progress meeting with Theo and I forgot all about it.”

”Thad, let me give you some advice,” she began as she removed her eyeglasses and set them down on her desk.  ”If you don’t get your cute little tush off my desk, Theo Pryce will be the least of your worries.”

Laughing to myself just a little, I leaned off of her desk.  ”You really mean that?”

”What?  About your uncle being the least of your worries?”

”No!  About my cute tush!

”Go to your meeting Thaddeus,” Janet says with a laugh.

Making my way through my office door, Theo Pryce stands near the glass windows looking out over the city while on his cell phone.  Ending his call, he slides his phone and then his hands into his pocket.

”You’re in a good mood today,” he says while staring out the window.  I assume he saw me in the glass reflection.

”Funny thing, Unc,” I began as I threw my backpack onto the chair by the office door.  ”I woke up today and I was still me.  Tell me what I have to be upset about.”

”You’re late,” Theo says as he turns from the window and makes his way to the guest side of my desk.

”Not the way I see it,” I said as I made my way around the desk.  ”You’re in my office so you’re on my time.”

”Maybe, but your time is my time,” Uncle Theo reminded me.

”We can sit here and measure dicks, but I gotta warn you that you have no idea what you’re up against,” I replied, causing Theo to part scoff, part laugh.

”You forgot, didn’t you?”

”Totally,” I confirmed.

”Do you know any of the numbers off hand?” he asks.  Before I could answer, my phone rings as Theo opens up a leather folder in front of him.

”One second…” I said as I put the phone to my ear.  ”Yes Babydoll?”

”LEANDER!  WHAT THE…”

Listening to her yell, I laid the phone down while she continued on with her rant.

”Is there a problem?”

”Mehhh, she probably just saw the card for Madness,” I said as Theo smiled.

”In looking at the television ratings…” he began, but I cut him off.

”First episode was up 10% over the last of Lane’s shit show,” I interrupted.  ”Up a further 12% average since.”

Theo stares at me like a deer in the headlights.

”You wanna talk about gate?  That’s down considerably because I booked the Manhattan Center for the first three shows,” I said to him unprompted.  ”Then we turned around and sold out Madison Square Garden.  Advertising revenue?  Up significantly.  Merchandising?  A little up, a little down.  We’re figuring that out.”

”We really could’ve done this over Zoom or something.”

”Yeah, probably.”

”You really know all the numbers?” he asked as he closed his folder.

I nodded my confirmation.

”Let’s talk business…”

”Alright, whatever advice you need, you got it,” I answered, causing Theo to sigh.

”Your confidence is kinda grating, do you know that?”

”Yes I do,” I answered with a smile.

”You canceled the Barclays Center and went to Greensboro instead?” Theo questioned.

To be clear, I know what he’s doing.  He’s not challenging my decisions, he’s merely gauging my ability to defend them.  It’s a tactic used in business quite often.  It’s mainly used not to find answers, but to come to the conclusion that a decision is sound and thoughtful, or rash and reckless.

”Charlotte,” I corrected him.  ”How do we know if we’re ready to ride if we don’t take off the training wheels?  One sec…”  I paused as I put my cell back to my ear.

”...and who THE FUCK is Carmen Santana!?”

”Someone gettin’ their feet wet,” I answered.  ”If you wanna be Penelope’s lackey then by all means, be her lackey.  I mean, whatever makes you happy.  But… I’mma book you to compete whenever I want.”

”...”

”Besides… when we get home, you’ll be all sore and I can rub you down with these magic hands,” I say to her confidently.

”Deal.”  Click.

”Gross.”

”Frankie says the same thing,” I laughed.  ”We need to talk about something,” I said as I flipped to X… or Twitter… whatever the hell its called now.

”About what?”

Saying nothing, I pulled up a tweet from Sean Parker and showed him.

”I don’t know,” he considered.  ”Relentless notwithstanding and keeping in line with your own vision for Madness and how you wanted it to stand on its own.  I’m not sure we should.”

”Thats fair,” I agreed.  ”But he’s gonna ask you.”

”How do you know?”

”Because I told him to,” I answered with a sly smile.

”And if I said yes… who does he face?”

”Bitch how you gonna ask a question when you already know the answer?”

”Why would I allow it?”

”Because it’s good for business,” I answered.  ”You know one half of the equation.  You know the draw that he is.  You know his abilities.  As for Sean?  I think he proved himself at Relentless, no?”

Theo sits back as he considers my argument.

”There was a reason I put that match with Kevin Mears on night three,” I continued to make my point.  ”Nights one and two, everyone looks at the main events and the title changes but night three is money night.  You and I both know that.”

”Okay,” Theo says as he stands up.  ”If Madness lets me down, it’s the last time it happens.”

”We haven’t yet.”

Theo shakes his head as he makes his exit from my office.  Standing up, I turned to face the expanse of New York City while leaning on my desk.  ”Janet, Cosmo’s,” I said into the intercom connecting me to her.  Janet enters only seconds later and quickly whips up the vodka and cranberry juice concoction before meaning on my desk beside me.

”Siri, play ‘New York’,” I said.  In just a couple seconds, ‘New York’ plays in my office as I scrunched my nose in a bit of confusion.

”What are we celebrating, Thaddeus?” she asks as we clink our glasses together.

”That Monday Night Madness is a resounding success,” I answered before taking a swallow.  ”This is the wrong song.”

”What were you trying to play?”

”Sinatra,” I answered.

”That’s ‘New York, New York’,” she informed me.  ”Two New York’s.”

”Isn’t that redundant?” I asked.  ”If you say New York, don’t people just automatically assume you mean New York City?”

”Honey, I’m from Maryland.  I have no idea.”

”Oh well,” I said to shift the subject.  ”Alicia Keys has a beautiful voice.  Wonder if she wants a baby?”

SMACK!  In the shoulder.

”I’m kidding!”


…probably.  Wait!  …  yeah, probably.]]> Madness Headquarters

One World Trade Center

Lower Manhattan, New York City

After having lunch with my wife, Penelope and her girlfriend Gina, I was light of foot and chipper as I made my way from the elevator toward my office.  No, there was no hanky panky, but there’s a million reasons that I’m happy.  ‘Hotstepper’ blasts through my Beats earbuds.  Unable to help myself, I dance up the hall to the beat of the classic song.

”Hey Janet,” I greeted my gatekeeper as I removed my Pittsburgh Steelers ball cap, then did that smooth little hand trickery before placing it back on my head.  ”Any messages?”

Janet answers, but I hear nothing on account of the music.  Removing the buds, ”What?”

”I said Mr. Pryce is in your office,” she repeated.

”Shit,” I mumbled under my breath.

”Problem?” she asked.

”I forgot it was Thursday,” I replied as I leaned with my backside against her glass desk.  ”I’m supposed to have a progress meeting with Theo and I forgot all about it.”

”Thad, let me give you some advice,” she began as she removed her eyeglasses and set them down on her desk.  ”If you don’t get your cute little tush off my desk, Theo Pryce will be the least of your worries.”

Laughing to myself just a little, I leaned off of her desk.  ”You really mean that?”

”What?  About your uncle being the least of your worries?”

”No!  About my cute tush!

”Go to your meeting Thaddeus,” Janet says with a laugh.

Making my way through my office door, Theo Pryce stands near the glass windows looking out over the city while on his cell phone.  Ending his call, he slides his phone and then his hands into his pocket.

”You’re in a good mood today,” he says while staring out the window.  I assume he saw me in the glass reflection.

”Funny thing, Unc,” I began as I threw my backpack onto the chair by the office door.  ”I woke up today and I was still me.  Tell me what I have to be upset about.”

”You’re late,” Theo says as he turns from the window and makes his way to the guest side of my desk.

”Not the way I see it,” I said as I made my way around the desk.  ”You’re in my office so you’re on my time.”

”Maybe, but your time is my time,” Uncle Theo reminded me.

”We can sit here and measure dicks, but I gotta warn you that you have no idea what you’re up against,” I replied, causing Theo to part scoff, part laugh.

”You forgot, didn’t you?”

”Totally,” I confirmed.

”Do you know any of the numbers off hand?” he asks.  Before I could answer, my phone rings as Theo opens up a leather folder in front of him.

”One second…” I said as I put the phone to my ear.  ”Yes Babydoll?”

”LEANDER!  WHAT THE…”

Listening to her yell, I laid the phone down while she continued on with her rant.

”Is there a problem?”

”Mehhh, she probably just saw the card for Madness,” I said as Theo smiled.

”In looking at the television ratings…” he began, but I cut him off.

”First episode was up 10% over the last of Lane’s shit show,” I interrupted.  ”Up a further 12% average since.”

Theo stares at me like a deer in the headlights.

”You wanna talk about gate?  That’s down considerably because I booked the Manhattan Center for the first three shows,” I said to him unprompted.  ”Then we turned around and sold out Madison Square Garden.  Advertising revenue?  Up significantly.  Merchandising?  A little up, a little down.  We’re figuring that out.”

”We really could’ve done this over Zoom or something.”

”Yeah, probably.”

”You really know all the numbers?” he asked as he closed his folder.

I nodded my confirmation.

”Let’s talk business…”

”Alright, whatever advice you need, you got it,” I answered, causing Theo to sigh.

”Your confidence is kinda grating, do you know that?”

”Yes I do,” I answered with a smile.

”You canceled the Barclays Center and went to Greensboro instead?” Theo questioned.

To be clear, I know what he’s doing.  He’s not challenging my decisions, he’s merely gauging my ability to defend them.  It’s a tactic used in business quite often.  It’s mainly used not to find answers, but to come to the conclusion that a decision is sound and thoughtful, or rash and reckless.

”Charlotte,” I corrected him.  ”How do we know if we’re ready to ride if we don’t take off the training wheels?  One sec…”  I paused as I put my cell back to my ear.

”...and who THE FUCK is Carmen Santana!?”

”Someone gettin’ their feet wet,” I answered.  ”If you wanna be Penelope’s lackey then by all means, be her lackey.  I mean, whatever makes you happy.  But… I’mma book you to compete whenever I want.”

”...”

”Besides… when we get home, you’ll be all sore and I can rub you down with these magic hands,” I say to her confidently.

”Deal.”  Click.

”Gross.”

”Frankie says the same thing,” I laughed.  ”We need to talk about something,” I said as I flipped to X… or Twitter… whatever the hell its called now.

”About what?”

Saying nothing, I pulled up a tweet from Sean Parker and showed him.

”I don’t know,” he considered.  ”Relentless notwithstanding and keeping in line with your own vision for Madness and how you wanted it to stand on its own.  I’m not sure we should.”

”Thats fair,” I agreed.  ”But he’s gonna ask you.”

”How do you know?”

”Because I told him to,” I answered with a sly smile.

”And if I said yes… who does he face?”

”Bitch how you gonna ask a question when you already know the answer?”

”Why would I allow it?”

”Because it’s good for business,” I answered.  ”You know one half of the equation.  You know the draw that he is.  You know his abilities.  As for Sean?  I think he proved himself at Relentless, no?”

Theo sits back as he considers my argument.

”There was a reason I put that match with Kevin Mears on night three,” I continued to make my point.  ”Nights one and two, everyone looks at the main events and the title changes but night three is money night.  You and I both know that.”

”Okay,” Theo says as he stands up.  ”If Madness lets me down, it’s the last time it happens.”

”We haven’t yet.”

Theo shakes his head as he makes his exit from my office.  Standing up, I turned to face the expanse of New York City while leaning on my desk.  ”Janet, Cosmo’s,” I said into the intercom connecting me to her.  Janet enters only seconds later and quickly whips up the vodka and cranberry juice concoction before meaning on my desk beside me.

”Siri, play ‘New York’,” I said.  In just a couple seconds, ‘New York’ plays in my office as I scrunched my nose in a bit of confusion.

”What are we celebrating, Thaddeus?” she asks as we clink our glasses together.

”That Monday Night Madness is a resounding success,” I answered before taking a swallow.  ”This is the wrong song.”

”What were you trying to play?”

”Sinatra,” I answered.

”That’s ‘New York, New York’,” she informed me.  ”Two New York’s.”

”Isn’t that redundant?” I asked.  ”If you say New York, don’t people just automatically assume you mean New York City?”

”Honey, I’m from Maryland.  I have no idea.”

”Oh well,” I said to shift the subject.  ”Alicia Keys has a beautiful voice.  Wonder if she wants a baby?”

SMACK!  In the shoulder.

”I’m kidding!”


…probably.  Wait!  …  yeah, probably.]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46936 Thu, 28 Sep 2023 09:48:10 -0700 Sahara]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46936 “Charlotte, North Carolina,” Lauren Duke mumbles as she aimlessly scrolls around the XWF website on her iPhone. Seated back on a swivel chair, she absently spins as she glances over at Penelope, who is otherwise preoccupied.

“What the hell is there to do in Charlotte?”

No answer. Penelope Plimmswood was busy with some sort of crazy science experiment. While it wasn’t quite as amazing or elaborate as the Tom & Jerry setup, with all the flasks, bunsen burners, and oddly colored liquids swirling through tubes and retorts… it still came as a bit of a surprise to Lauren. I guess you never really ask how the sausage is made–

Raising her brows after a few moments of waiting for a response, Lauren cleared her throat to grab her newfound friend's attention.

But still, there was nothing.

Bending down in front of a glass measuring cup that looked like something of an oversized beaker, Penelope pulled tinted safety goggles down over her eyes with her injured hand… which caused her to hiss, shaking out as much as the medical brace she was wearing would allow.

“Infernal casket…” She grumbled.

Aggravated by the pain – not to mention the memory of how she’d injured her hand – she went back to work using a precision dropper to add a couple of drops of what looked like a radioactive neon-orange liquid into the mixture. It instantly bubbled up like some sort of vile, sulfurous goo, which caused her to let out a bit of a sinister laugh as she took a step back.

“Perrrrrfect–” The words rolled from her venomous tongue.

“What’s perfect? What the hell are you even doing?!” Lauren asked, completely forgetting about her previous question.

“Helping you,” She finally responded. “You requested an orange mist, did you not? I’m granting your wish.

“Orange mist it is.

“Neon orange to be exact.”

Lauren somewhat laughed, “I was kidding when I asked for basic-bitch mist the color of pumpkin spice, Penny.”

Standing upright, Penelope gazed lovingly at her simmering concoction, “I wasn’t. And don’t call me Penny.”

Lauren rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say Penny–” she jokingly responded, but a mere glance from Penelope caused her to change what she was saying mid-word. She quickly pivoted and added an awkward “--elope…” to the end of the word.

“Better.”

Turning her attention back to the neon orange goop, she continued, “This is a bit stronger smelling than usual. I had to alter the mixture to make the orange color pop, and make it a bit more… well, 'you'… for lack of a better word.”

“A bit more me?”

“Yeah, its fragrance is noticeably sweeter than the one I use, but with just as much burn.”

Lauren smiled, “Aww…”

“And make sure you oil your mouth really well before the match, unless you wanna look like you’ve been sucking on orange Jolly Ranchers all night–”

Nodding along, Lauren thought about that for a moment.

“Do they even make orange Jolly Ranchers?”

Penelope paused, lifting her safety goggles up onto her head. "They don't any more, but they did. It was one of the first flavors introduced after the initial three. Shame they discontinued it, they should bring it back. And if they did… I’m sure that’s how it’d make your mouth look. So like I said, oil your mouth before you use this.”

Penelope let an evil little smirk curl her lip, “This is gonna look so amazing sprayed all over Carmen Santana’s stupid little face…”

Sahara’s brow furrowed, “Who?!”

“Carmen Santana,” Penelope nonchalantly replied. “Your opponent on Madness.”

Penelope glanced over, noting the confused bunny look coming over Lauren’s face. “Good God, Thaddeus warned me about this. Maybe you should read more than where a show is taking place, my dear, and to answer your question from earlier, there is absolutely nothing to do in Charlotte other than vacate it immediately when you’re done–”

“Woah, woah, woah… what?! I’m wrestling on Madness?!”

Lauren instantly lifted her iPhone in disbelief, her baby blues darting around the screen as she scrolled through the posted card for Monday Night Madness. She stops, not noticing the opening match, or the main event… or the XWF X-Division Championship match.

None of that mattered…

What did matter was what she saw right there in the middle of the screen: Sahara vs Carmen Santana.

She didn’t even hear the words escape her lips, “Who the fuck is Carmen Santana?”

“Unbelievable…” Penelope let out a sigh. “Thaddeus wasn’t kidding about you–”

“Why?! What’d he say?!”

“That you’re a bit… shall we say absentminded?”

Lauren shrugged, relenting to reality, she nodded in agreement. “Yeah. True. So who is she?”

“An annoying little bitch,” Penelope started as she sauntered over, situating herself behind the woman who somehow married Thaddeus Duke... twice.

“I need you to do me a favor on Madness. You’re going to send a message. Not just to your opponent, but to the entire roster. You’re going to make an example of little miss Santana. Paint her pretty little face a dazzling shade of orange for me, won’t you?”

It wasn’t really a question as much as it was a demand.

And Lauren understood.

A smirk slowly formed on Sahara’s lips as she looked up at Penelope.

“I’ll make her look like a dented fuckin’ pumpkin for you…” Sahara replied with a sinister little smile of her own.

Penelope gently patted her newfound friend on the shoulder.

They understood each other.

Completely.]]> “Charlotte, North Carolina,” Lauren Duke mumbles as she aimlessly scrolls around the XWF website on her iPhone. Seated back on a swivel chair, she absently spins as she glances over at Penelope, who is otherwise preoccupied.

“What the hell is there to do in Charlotte?”

No answer. Penelope Plimmswood was busy with some sort of crazy science experiment. While it wasn’t quite as amazing or elaborate as the Tom & Jerry setup, with all the flasks, bunsen burners, and oddly colored liquids swirling through tubes and retorts… it still came as a bit of a surprise to Lauren. I guess you never really ask how the sausage is made–

Raising her brows after a few moments of waiting for a response, Lauren cleared her throat to grab her newfound friend's attention.

But still, there was nothing.

Bending down in front of a glass measuring cup that looked like something of an oversized beaker, Penelope pulled tinted safety goggles down over her eyes with her injured hand… which caused her to hiss, shaking out as much as the medical brace she was wearing would allow.

“Infernal casket…” She grumbled.

Aggravated by the pain – not to mention the memory of how she’d injured her hand – she went back to work using a precision dropper to add a couple of drops of what looked like a radioactive neon-orange liquid into the mixture. It instantly bubbled up like some sort of vile, sulfurous goo, which caused her to let out a bit of a sinister laugh as she took a step back.

“Perrrrrfect–” The words rolled from her venomous tongue.

“What’s perfect? What the hell are you even doing?!” Lauren asked, completely forgetting about her previous question.

“Helping you,” She finally responded. “You requested an orange mist, did you not? I’m granting your wish.

“Orange mist it is.

“Neon orange to be exact.”

Lauren somewhat laughed, “I was kidding when I asked for basic-bitch mist the color of pumpkin spice, Penny.”

Standing upright, Penelope gazed lovingly at her simmering concoction, “I wasn’t. And don’t call me Penny.”

Lauren rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say Penny–” she jokingly responded, but a mere glance from Penelope caused her to change what she was saying mid-word. She quickly pivoted and added an awkward “--elope…” to the end of the word.

“Better.”

Turning her attention back to the neon orange goop, she continued, “This is a bit stronger smelling than usual. I had to alter the mixture to make the orange color pop, and make it a bit more… well, 'you'… for lack of a better word.”

“A bit more me?”

“Yeah, its fragrance is noticeably sweeter than the one I use, but with just as much burn.”

Lauren smiled, “Aww…”

“And make sure you oil your mouth really well before the match, unless you wanna look like you’ve been sucking on orange Jolly Ranchers all night–”

Nodding along, Lauren thought about that for a moment.

“Do they even make orange Jolly Ranchers?”

Penelope paused, lifting her safety goggles up onto her head. "They don't any more, but they did. It was one of the first flavors introduced after the initial three. Shame they discontinued it, they should bring it back. And if they did… I’m sure that’s how it’d make your mouth look. So like I said, oil your mouth before you use this.”

Penelope let an evil little smirk curl her lip, “This is gonna look so amazing sprayed all over Carmen Santana’s stupid little face…”

Sahara’s brow furrowed, “Who?!”

“Carmen Santana,” Penelope nonchalantly replied. “Your opponent on Madness.”

Penelope glanced over, noting the confused bunny look coming over Lauren’s face. “Good God, Thaddeus warned me about this. Maybe you should read more than where a show is taking place, my dear, and to answer your question from earlier, there is absolutely nothing to do in Charlotte other than vacate it immediately when you’re done–”

“Woah, woah, woah… what?! I’m wrestling on Madness?!”

Lauren instantly lifted her iPhone in disbelief, her baby blues darting around the screen as she scrolled through the posted card for Monday Night Madness. She stops, not noticing the opening match, or the main event… or the XWF X-Division Championship match.

None of that mattered…

What did matter was what she saw right there in the middle of the screen: Sahara vs Carmen Santana.

She didn’t even hear the words escape her lips, “Who the fuck is Carmen Santana?”

“Unbelievable…” Penelope let out a sigh. “Thaddeus wasn’t kidding about you–”

“Why?! What’d he say?!”

“That you’re a bit… shall we say absentminded?”

Lauren shrugged, relenting to reality, she nodded in agreement. “Yeah. True. So who is she?”

“An annoying little bitch,” Penelope started as she sauntered over, situating herself behind the woman who somehow married Thaddeus Duke... twice.

“I need you to do me a favor on Madness. You’re going to send a message. Not just to your opponent, but to the entire roster. You’re going to make an example of little miss Santana. Paint her pretty little face a dazzling shade of orange for me, won’t you?”

It wasn’t really a question as much as it was a demand.

And Lauren understood.

A smirk slowly formed on Sahara’s lips as she looked up at Penelope.

“I’ll make her look like a dented fuckin’ pumpkin for you…” Sahara replied with a sinister little smile of her own.

Penelope gently patted her newfound friend on the shoulder.

They understood each other.

Completely.]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46895 Wed, 20 Sep 2023 10:38:21 -0700 Sahara]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46895 We all handle hurt in different ways.

Some of us give in to abject anger and take it out on the world that surrounds us. Doesn’t matter who or what. Family, friends, enemies… walls, doors or televisions alike. We’re gonna take it out on them, or it… or whatever else allows us to unleash the pain.

Others fall into a state of laissez-faire depression and numb themselves with whatever our particular poison is. For my husband, it’s women. Whether he admits it or not, it’s his weakness. For me? It’s alcohol. Preferably wine. But vodka, bourbon, gin, rum, tequila… or just about anything else will do the trick…

Whatever it takes to drink the pain away…

~~~~~

A month ago or so…

‘Some days I’m built of metal, I can’t be broken… but not when I’m with you.’

Thaddeus Duke steps out onto the covered porch with his morning coffee, steam rising from the cup as he brings it to his lips. “Mmm,” came the sound of simple pleasure as a slight smile crossed his face. But the moment was brief. While the sun was shining, and with it, a slight haze lingering in the warm summer air, there was an underlying tone of sadness weighing heavily on Thaddeus Duke and his wife, Lauren.

Taking a deep breath of fresh country air, he lets out a sigh glazed in despair–

Doing a double take, he notices his son Frankie on the far end of the porch, gazing out across the meadow. Glancing at his watch, his brow furrowed. It was a bit early for him, considering he was likely up all night playing video games…

Approaching his son, “What ya doin’ up so early?”, he asked.

Frankie motioned out toward the pasture with the flick of his chin, “I’m worried about her. Usually she’s–” his voice broke, unable to complete the thought. But Thad knew. He was worried about his mother, Lauren. Known as Sahara to the wrestling world. An unrelenting bitch when that red light comes on, she was anything but to them. The boy only knew her as mom, and he’d never seen her like this before. At least, not for this long…

“I just don’t understand what’s going on with her lately.”

Thaddeus heaved a sigh.

“Frankie,” Thad moved a bit closer to his son and rested the cup of coffee on the railing. “Sometimes people go through things, and we have to let them. We have to be there for them, but–”

“Yeah, maybe you should give that a try,” the boy snapped. “You’ve barely been home–”

“Frankie,” Thad pinched the bridge of his nose. His son was right, and he knew it. Neither of them handled this whole ordeal very well, and everyone around them helped pay the price. “I know. But I’m home now.”

“What’s even wrong with her?” Frankie asked.

Thaddeus hated lying to his son, but what was wrong wasn’t something he was ready to share.

The reality was, Lauren had a history of issues conceiving… and while it was a longshot, she’d been expecting. It’s why she suddenly retired from wrestling to take no chances. Thaddeus had tried to temper her expectations as he knew her history. And everytime it happens, she convinces herself that this time it’s gonna stick.

Even the doctors tried to warn her, but despite her usual pessimistic nature, she remained steadfastly optimistic.

Well, it didn’t stick.

Again.

But this time was different. Something broke in her this time, and this was the result.

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” he lied again. “Maybe this new life is getting to her–” Thad threw out the first excuse that came to mind.

“But she said she loves it out here!” Frankie shot back.

Thaddeus nodded, “True, but keep in mind she was born and raised as a city girl and lived a pretty fast life up until our little family came about… sometimes people just need time to adjust–” Thaddeus practically cringed as he knew his son was far too smart to believe any of this bullshit.

Frankie shook his head in disappointment, but then he shrugged it off–

“Well?” The boy looked up at his father, raising his brows.

“Well what?” Thad looked down at his son.

“Well what the fuck are you doing on the porch drinking coffee?”

“Language!” Thad interrupted.

“Oh, fuck off! You say you’re here now? So go to her! Be here for her.”

Thaddeus fell silent for a moment as his son's words hit him like a truck.

“Go, Dad. And bring my goddamn mom back,” he added.

Thaddeus smirked a bit as he pulled Frankie against him and tousled his hair. Gazing out across the pasture, there was the silhouette of a woman resting her head against her regal stallion known as Seabrisket. He could tell she was crying. From this distance, the visual was deceptively breathtaking, but not with the context of knowing why…

This was heartbreaking.

Thaddeus Duke wasn’t scared of much. He’d been through hell and back, despite his age; wars – both in and out of the ring – and even stared death in the eyes on more than one occasion. But this time, he was actually scared.

“What if she won’t talk to me?” He whispered just loud enough for his son to hear.

“Dad… you’re the only one in the world she will talk to.”

Hearing those words from his son, Thaddeus closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath, Thaddeus Duke nodded as he slowly took a step off the porch toward the pasture–

Toward his wife.

~~~~~

Present day…

‘I focus on the pain… the only thing that’s real.’

Myra turns as I rear back and unleash the vile concoction of black mist in her face, anger seething through snarling teeth.

As Myra stumbles, Penelope gives her a second dose of the black mist!

Penelope and I lock eyes and nod to each other in unison. Grabbing Myra Rivers as she stumbles aimlessly, blinded by whatever that shit was we spewed in her face, we tore into the bitch.

As the violence eventually relented, I stood atop the ropes gazing down at our fallen prey… The World Champ.

Pfft.

Fuck her.

I leapt high and came crashing down on her with my Venom Drop. You can call it my Coup de Grâce. I felt my boots sink into her midsection as I rolled forward, Penelope catching my momentum.

I stood tall, arm and arm with my new bestie as Myra writhed around in pain… glorious pain.

As I slowly turn, gazing out across the ocean of screaming fans in Madison Square Garden… I smile for the first time in months.

~~~~~

My husband, Thaddeus Duke, brought me back from the brink of self-destruction, and now I redirect my fury toward those that deserve it most.

It started with Myra Rivers, but I assure you, it won’t end there.

I did this for one reason and one reason alone–

To send a message.

So, know this shit and know it hard…

If you fuck with Penelope, you fuck with me.

If you even see Penelope, look away. No. Walk away. No. Fuck that… you’d better run!

If you see her, don’t be there, and if you are, know that I ain’t far… and I’ll be comin’ for you. Maybe I’m behind you… or above you… or even beneath you… but you can be sure of one thing and one thing alone–

I’ll crawl through hell itself to get to you.

For her.

To paraphrase John Wick, people kept askin’ me if I was comin’ back. And I haven’t really had an answer.

But now?

Yeah. I’m thinkin’ I’m back!

So, you can either hand that World Title over to Penelope – to whom it belongs – or you can die in vain tryin’ to keep it.

And yeah, we all know which choice you'll make...

The obvious one.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

That's why this is gonna be ohhhh so much fun!]]> We all handle hurt in different ways.

Some of us give in to abject anger and take it out on the world that surrounds us. Doesn’t matter who or what. Family, friends, enemies… walls, doors or televisions alike. We’re gonna take it out on them, or it… or whatever else allows us to unleash the pain.

Others fall into a state of laissez-faire depression and numb themselves with whatever our particular poison is. For my husband, it’s women. Whether he admits it or not, it’s his weakness. For me? It’s alcohol. Preferably wine. But vodka, bourbon, gin, rum, tequila… or just about anything else will do the trick…

Whatever it takes to drink the pain away…

~~~~~

A month ago or so…

‘Some days I’m built of metal, I can’t be broken… but not when I’m with you.’

Thaddeus Duke steps out onto the covered porch with his morning coffee, steam rising from the cup as he brings it to his lips. “Mmm,” came the sound of simple pleasure as a slight smile crossed his face. But the moment was brief. While the sun was shining, and with it, a slight haze lingering in the warm summer air, there was an underlying tone of sadness weighing heavily on Thaddeus Duke and his wife, Lauren.

Taking a deep breath of fresh country air, he lets out a sigh glazed in despair–

Doing a double take, he notices his son Frankie on the far end of the porch, gazing out across the meadow. Glancing at his watch, his brow furrowed. It was a bit early for him, considering he was likely up all night playing video games…

Approaching his son, “What ya doin’ up so early?”, he asked.

Frankie motioned out toward the pasture with the flick of his chin, “I’m worried about her. Usually she’s–” his voice broke, unable to complete the thought. But Thad knew. He was worried about his mother, Lauren. Known as Sahara to the wrestling world. An unrelenting bitch when that red light comes on, she was anything but to them. The boy only knew her as mom, and he’d never seen her like this before. At least, not for this long…

“I just don’t understand what’s going on with her lately.”

Thaddeus heaved a sigh.

“Frankie,” Thad moved a bit closer to his son and rested the cup of coffee on the railing. “Sometimes people go through things, and we have to let them. We have to be there for them, but–”

“Yeah, maybe you should give that a try,” the boy snapped. “You’ve barely been home–”

“Frankie,” Thad pinched the bridge of his nose. His son was right, and he knew it. Neither of them handled this whole ordeal very well, and everyone around them helped pay the price. “I know. But I’m home now.”

“What’s even wrong with her?” Frankie asked.

Thaddeus hated lying to his son, but what was wrong wasn’t something he was ready to share.

The reality was, Lauren had a history of issues conceiving… and while it was a longshot, she’d been expecting. It’s why she suddenly retired from wrestling to take no chances. Thaddeus had tried to temper her expectations as he knew her history. And everytime it happens, she convinces herself that this time it’s gonna stick.

Even the doctors tried to warn her, but despite her usual pessimistic nature, she remained steadfastly optimistic.

Well, it didn’t stick.

Again.

But this time was different. Something broke in her this time, and this was the result.

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” he lied again. “Maybe this new life is getting to her–” Thad threw out the first excuse that came to mind.

“But she said she loves it out here!” Frankie shot back.

Thaddeus nodded, “True, but keep in mind she was born and raised as a city girl and lived a pretty fast life up until our little family came about… sometimes people just need time to adjust–” Thaddeus practically cringed as he knew his son was far too smart to believe any of this bullshit.

Frankie shook his head in disappointment, but then he shrugged it off–

“Well?” The boy looked up at his father, raising his brows.

“Well what?” Thad looked down at his son.

“Well what the fuck are you doing on the porch drinking coffee?”

“Language!” Thad interrupted.

“Oh, fuck off! You say you’re here now? So go to her! Be here for her.”

Thaddeus fell silent for a moment as his son's words hit him like a truck.

“Go, Dad. And bring my goddamn mom back,” he added.

Thaddeus smirked a bit as he pulled Frankie against him and tousled his hair. Gazing out across the pasture, there was the silhouette of a woman resting her head against her regal stallion known as Seabrisket. He could tell she was crying. From this distance, the visual was deceptively breathtaking, but not with the context of knowing why…

This was heartbreaking.

Thaddeus Duke wasn’t scared of much. He’d been through hell and back, despite his age; wars – both in and out of the ring – and even stared death in the eyes on more than one occasion. But this time, he was actually scared.

“What if she won’t talk to me?” He whispered just loud enough for his son to hear.

“Dad… you’re the only one in the world she will talk to.”

Hearing those words from his son, Thaddeus closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath, Thaddeus Duke nodded as he slowly took a step off the porch toward the pasture–

Toward his wife.

~~~~~

Present day…

‘I focus on the pain… the only thing that’s real.’

Myra turns as I rear back and unleash the vile concoction of black mist in her face, anger seething through snarling teeth.

As Myra stumbles, Penelope gives her a second dose of the black mist!

Penelope and I lock eyes and nod to each other in unison. Grabbing Myra Rivers as she stumbles aimlessly, blinded by whatever that shit was we spewed in her face, we tore into the bitch.

As the violence eventually relented, I stood atop the ropes gazing down at our fallen prey… The World Champ.

Pfft.

Fuck her.

I leapt high and came crashing down on her with my Venom Drop. You can call it my Coup de Grâce. I felt my boots sink into her midsection as I rolled forward, Penelope catching my momentum.

I stood tall, arm and arm with my new bestie as Myra writhed around in pain… glorious pain.

As I slowly turn, gazing out across the ocean of screaming fans in Madison Square Garden… I smile for the first time in months.

~~~~~

My husband, Thaddeus Duke, brought me back from the brink of self-destruction, and now I redirect my fury toward those that deserve it most.

It started with Myra Rivers, but I assure you, it won’t end there.

I did this for one reason and one reason alone–

To send a message.

So, know this shit and know it hard…

If you fuck with Penelope, you fuck with me.

If you even see Penelope, look away. No. Walk away. No. Fuck that… you’d better run!

If you see her, don’t be there, and if you are, know that I ain’t far… and I’ll be comin’ for you. Maybe I’m behind you… or above you… or even beneath you… but you can be sure of one thing and one thing alone–

I’ll crawl through hell itself to get to you.

For her.

To paraphrase John Wick, people kept askin’ me if I was comin’ back. And I haven’t really had an answer.

But now?

Yeah. I’m thinkin’ I’m back!

So, you can either hand that World Title over to Penelope – to whom it belongs – or you can die in vain tryin’ to keep it.

And yeah, we all know which choice you'll make...

The obvious one.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

That's why this is gonna be ohhhh so much fun!]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46892 Tue, 19 Sep 2023 19:34:52 -0700 Thaddeus Duke]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46892
We were supposed to do this in July but something happened that set us back.

With cold water running through the bathroom faucet, I know I'm on the verge of a panic attack.  Those attacks are infrequent, but they tend to pop up whenever I'm stressed.  Trying to calm myself, I hold my hands beneath the water, then bring it to my face.  Leaning forward as to not get water all over my tuxedo, I held my face in my hands for several long seconds before coming up for air.

"Dad!" Comes the knock from Frankie on the other side of the door.

"Not now, Frankie," I called back.

"But I can't get this stupid tie!" He replied.

"Frankie!" Unintentionally, I yelled as I turned off the faucet.  "I said not now!"

From the other side of the door, I heard some murmurs.  Him, I needed right now.

"Hey mate?" Came Sebastian's voice.

"You come in," I replied.

For a moment, I felt guilty for inferring that I didn't want to see Frankie right now.  However, it's exactly what I meant.  I was a wreck and as much as I love that boy, he has the ability to push me over the brink.  He doesn’t mean it and I know it.  Even still, I just need time.

”You alright?” Seb asked as he entered the bathroom with me.

”Yeah,” I lied.

”You don’t seem to be,” he replied back, causing me to look at him.

”I’m not,” I responded honestly as tears welled up in my eyes.

”Is there anything I can do?” asked Seb.

”I don’t think so,” I said with a shake of my head.  ”She’d have been here by now,” I said as tears started to fall.

”Who?”

”You remember a few months ago when we got into that little fight on Twitter and I told you that maybe my problems had nothing to do with you?” I asked Seb, to which he only nodded.

”Certainly was not among our strongest moments as friends,” he said.

Chuckling lightly, I pulled a picture from the pocket of my shirt.

”What’s this?” he asked as I handed it to him before he followed me from the bathroom to the bedroom.

”Her name was Gracie,” I answered as I plopped myself down on the edge of the bed.  He raised his eyes from the picture to look at me.

---

February 2023

Things were good.  I had left and sold OCW, Lauren was on her way out.  I had made the decision that the XWF wasn’t right for me anymore and was on my way to deciding (though I hadn’t yet) to semi-retire from active wrestling.  Lauren was off from OCW and had been having some female health issues so we decided to see a doctor.

”Hmm…” Dr. Jankovich said as she moved the imager thingy around on Lauren’s stomach.

”What is it Doc?” I asked from Lauren’s side.

”Is it a tumor? Lauren asked sort of facetiously.

”What the fuck?  Why would you say that?”

”I bet it’s a tumor.”

”No,” said the doctor as she turned the screen around toward us.  ”It’s not a tumor.”

For what seemed like hours but was more like seconds, Lauren and I just stared at the screen.

”Congratulations mom and dad!” she said as we stared at the screen in amazement.  ”You’re about two months along.”

Leaving us for a few minutes, I looked at Lauren and she couldn’t take her eyes from the screen.

---

Present Day

”She was conceived in early December,” I said to Sebastian.  ”Gracie would be here right now.”

”I…” he said as he searched for words that would never come.

”This is supposed to be the happiest day of our lives,” I said to him.  ”How can I be happy when our daughter isn’t here?”

”What happened?” he asked.

”Well, you know how Lauren can’t carry right?” I asked and Seb nodded.  ”It didn’t stop her from being over the moon excited.  Me?  I was scared to death.  I mean, I wasn’t scared of having another kid.  God knows I want more.  But… Lauren was pregnant before.  They never lasted passed the first trimester.”

---

May 2023

This day in May was like any other day.  We woke up early, made breakfast for the kids and sent Frankie off to school.  Lauren had an appointment so I took the day off work to go with her.  When we first learned she was pregnant, I was scared because I knew her history.  The days, weeks and months rolled by without issue and we were firmly into the second trimester.  She was into her fifth month of pregnancy so we both started to get really excited.  Lauren was finally gonna have her miracle baby.

Later that morning, we were in the doctor’s office and the nurse had spread that jelly all over Lauren’s belly.  She had started doing some imaging but left abruptly.

”What’s her problem?” Lauren asked.

I didn’t say anything at the time.  Instead, I masked my worry with a joke.  She laughed, I forced one, then the doctor came in.

”Mr. And Mrs. Duke, how are we today?” she asked as she sat down.

”We’re great,” Lauren replied.  ”That nurse needs to learn some bedside manners though.  Bitch just walked the fuck out like we weren’t even here.”

”Well, let’s see what’s going on, shall we?” she said as she turned the monitor away from us and started to move the wand thingy over Lauren’s belly.  ”Oh dear,” she said.

”What?”

”What is it?”

”Lauren, I’m very sorry,” she began.

---

Present Day

”I couldn’t even say anything,” I said to Sebastian.  ”The doctor just told us that our little girl didn’t make it and I just stood there frozen like a fuckin’ iceberg.  My wife needed me and I stood there… and I did nothing, I said nothing.”

”Thad I’m so sorry,” he said as he sat the edge of the bed beside me.  ”Why didn’t you guys ever tell us?  We could’ve been there for you.”

”It’s not that easy to talk about,” I answered.  ”You and Sloane had your own problems and as much as we could’ve used you both right then, we left you do your thing and figure out your own shit.”

”How did you guys handle it?” asked Sebastian.

”Not well,” I replied.  ”I went into women and she went into the bottle.”

Seb says nothing.

”Neither of us knew how to make the pain stop.”

---

That Day In May

They aborted the pregnancy that day.  Lauren curled up into the fetal position and cried as I stood against the wall, emotionless and stone-like with my arms folded in front of me.

”Sir?” the nurse says.  ”I’m so sorry for your loss.  We have some legal questions if you could just follow me.”

”Yeah,” I said quietly as I followed her to the nurses station.

”Sir, by law…” she began as she started asking different questions like maiden names and lineage.  ”Her name?”

”Lauren,” I answered.  ”You knew that.”

”The baby's name, sir,” she corrected herself.

”Does that matter?” I asked coldly.  ”She was never born, therefore she can never die.”

”After 24 weeks, New York state law requires legal documentation of both birth and death records,” she informed me.  ”And proper disposal.”

”Disposal,” I repeated with disgust evident.  ”Like trash.”

”I’m sorry.  That’s not how I meant it,” she said apologetically.  ”Her name?”

”Gracie,” I answered.  ”Gracie Lynn.”

---

Present Day

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I recounted the story for Sebastian.  He isn’t one to get too emotional, but this was different.  He was my closest friend and he felt my pain.  I’m not even sure if he knew it or that he meant to do it, but he started holding my hand.

”Seb, I never lost one before,” I told him.  ”You know my kids are everything to me.  And yeah, I knew the probability of Lauren carrying to term was minimal and I was scared at first.  I never imagined it would hurt this bad.  And as hard as it is for me, I can’t even imagine what it did to her.

“It’s all she’s ever wanted.”

”You won though,” Sebastian said.  ”Something like that could have torn your marriage apart but you didn’t let it.”

”It almost did,” I told him honestly.  ”I can use power, I can use influence or money to fix most things, Sebastian.  But not this.”

---

That Day Again

I had answered every question I could.  My head was pounding and my eyes ached as I made my way back into the room with Lauren.  She laid still and made no sound other than a sniffle every now and then.  I’m usually good at this stuff.  If someone is hurting, I find a way to help them.  This time, I was entirely helpless.  I was not the man I needed to be in that moment.

Approaching her bedside, I knelt beside her and leaned my head against hers as she cried quietly.  All I wanted to do was take all the pain away.  From me, from her.  I wished I could rewind the clock a few hours.  The pain wouldn’t arrive and we’d still be expecting our little Gracie.

”Excuse me,” said the nurse from the doorway.  I turned my head but said nothing.  ”Mr. and Mrs. Duke, we wanted to see if you wanted a few minutes with Gracie.”

I couldn’t answer right away.  At a little more than five months, I wasn’t sure how developed she was yet.  I wasn’t sure if the lasting image seared into our memories should be something that only kind of resembled a human baby.  Looking at Lauren, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried hard to hold in her tears.  She must've sensed me looking at her, because she vigorously nodded her head.

”Yeah,” I said quietly.

Just a few moments later, they brought her in and laid her between us before quietly exiting the room.  Laurens cries turned to audible wailing and again, I tried to wish it away.  Instead, it was real.  I have dealt with loss several times in my life as we all do.  I wasn’t then, nor will I ever in the future, be prepared to say goodbye to my child.

Looking at our little Gracie, I was relieved that she looked more like a human baby than I thought she would.  Life wasn’t fair.  What did this unborn child do to deserve her fate?  What I do know, is that her parents loved her more than life itself.

”Gracie,” Lauren muttered between sobs and sniffles.  ”I wish I coulda met you, I think you woulda been the greatest daughter.”

Finally, I broke.  Lauren doesn’t get so raw and genuine and emotional.  I realize this is a special circumstance but I wasn’t prepared and it broke me.  Gracie was very small, no more than about six inches in length.  Even still, I held her tiny little hand in my fingers.

”Mommy and daddy love you, little one,” I began as tears streamed uncontrollably.  ”We’ll find a way to remember you always.”

Lauren sobbed so hard she couldn’t breathe.  I tried so hard to be what she needed but no matter what I did or would’ve done, what she needed was for Gracie to live and that’s not something I could give her.

”I’m not a spiritual person but if there’s anything after this, go find you gram-gram, Gracie,” I said in reference to my mother.  ”She’ll take very good care of you.”

---

Present Day

With Sebastian hanging off every word I said, his eyes and face were as soaked as my own.

”How did you do it?” has asked as he thought of the unimaginable heartbreak Lauren and I had gone through.  ”How did you get past it?”

”We didn’t,” I answered.  ”At least not entirely.  Really it was Frankie that kicked me in the ass.”

”Are you sure he’s really two-teen?” Seb asked with a smile.  ”He’s always so…”

”Intuitive?” I suggested.  ”We didn’t tell him we were expecting.  No one was gonna know until we hit six months.”

”How did he figure it out?”

”That sonogram you’re holding,” I replied.  ”That and I was putting together a nursery for a little girl and Caty’s a bit big for a cradle.”

”What he do to you?” Seb asked.

”Called me on my bullshit,” I chuckled.

---

Early August

While night began to fall on Long Island, I sat upon the glider on the back porch watching from a distance as Lauren groomed her horse, Seabrisket.  Yeah… Seabrisket.  As I swayed back on forth, I spent my time texting a woman that wasn’t my wife.  Her name will not be divulged to protect her privacy.  She wasn’t the first during that period, but she would be the last.  I’m not proud of it, nor should I be.  I handle most things at least okay.  Or, eventually anyway.  This wasn’t one of those things.

Once we put Gracie to rest in the family crypt with my parents, I was withdrawn, quiet.  Lauren didn’t express much of anything except her love of wine.  She was kind to Frankie and the twins, but that was pretty much it.  I’m not blaming her for what I was doing, that’s not on her, that’s on me entirely.  That was my way of dealing with something so tragic instead of being with my wife who very obviously needed me.

I’m not the kind of guy that regrets many things.  I’m a huge believer in a person's mistakes being a pivotal part of their makeup.  I failed.  Miserably.  I regret what I was doing, big time.  To her credit, she didn’t hold it against me.  When we lost Gracie, we both reverted to versions of ourselves that neither of us liked very much.

”Hey,” Frankie says a bit coldly as the screen door slams behind him.

”What’s up kiddo?” I asked as he sat on the glider beside me.

”There’s things going on that I don’t like,” he cut right to the point.

”You noticed, huh?”

”When were you gonna tell me about this?” he asked as he showed me the sonogram picture.

”Where did you get that!?” I asked angrily.  ”You’re not supposed…”

”And you’re not supposed to be sleeping with other women!” he shouted back.

Touche, kid.  Touche.

With one sentence, he shuts me up entirely.

”I’ve known what you are for a long time, Dad,” he began.  ”You always said you stopped doing that because you didn’t want your sons to grow up thinking that it’s acceptable behavior.”

He has my attention.

”Mom’s drinking a lot, you’re out doing God knows who and I’m left here trying to figure out what happened and why.”

”Frankie, it’s…”

”Mom lost the baby,” he interrupted.

My eyes teared up as he stared at me.

”Yeah she did,” I said with a nod.

”So instead of being here with her, you find any excuse for a business trip to go spend time with someone else,” he assumed at least mostly correctly.  ”You guys didn’t even tell me.  We could’ve helped each other because that’s what family does.”

”I’m sorry we didn’t tell you,” I began.  ”We did a bad job of dealing with this.”

”That’s why you were building a nursery,” he said as he started to put all the pieces together in his head.  ”Did you see her?”

I nodded as he teared up a little.

”Did you name her?”

”Gracie Lynn,” I answered him.

”That’s a great name,” Frankie said.  ”Do you love Mom?”

”You know I do, Frank,” I replied to him.

”Then why?”

”I don’t know,” I answered… which admittedly is the absence of an answer.  ”I don’t process loss well.  Curtis, your grandma, Jim… It always felt like everyone was gonna leave me so I found comfort in people that wouldn’t leave me because there was nothing to leave.  Does that make any sense to you?”

”I don’t know but,” he looks across the way toward the stables where Lauren is leading Seabrisket back inside for the night.  ”She doesn’t seem to be leaving you.”

Grabbing him in a side headlock, I kissed him on the top of his head.

”You’re a better kid than I deserve,” I said as I let him go and started off toward my wife.

”I know.”

---

Present Day

”That was it?” Seb asked me.  To which I merely shrugged.  ”So you stop whoring and she stops drinking and everything is good?”

”Little more to it than that,” I began.  ”I just told her that I loved her.  I loved Gracie and I missed her and I wished she was here.  But we didn’t die with her.  It was time to start living again.”

”Will you try again?” he asked.

”Uhhhh,” I thought about it some.  ”I don’t know.  Not any time soon, I don’t think.  Losing Gracie was… fucking devastating man.  I don’t think either of us are anywhere near ready to discuss that possibility again.”

”Daaad!” Frankie calls out, coming closer.

”Come here, I’ll help you,” I called back.

”I’ll be downstairs mate,” Seb said as he starts toward the bedroom door.

”Thanks for listening,” I said to him as he passed by me.  ”I guess I just needed to talk about it.”

He shot me a wink as he exited and Frankie entered with his tie looking like…

”Get over here, Colonel Sanders,” I joked.

”Oh great, everyone’s got jokes,” he says as he plops down on my bed.  ”Uncle Seb just asked me for a six piece!”

”Sit up, lemme look at you,” I instructed him.

Frankie sat up on the bed and I untied his bowtie.

”Bowties are stupid,” he protested.  ”You taught me neckties and I got that down pretty good but this is like a tie gone pro!”

He continued his complaining as I fixed his tie in like fifteen seconds.

”There ya go, kid,” I said as I lightly smacked him on his cheek.  Immediately he jumped to his feet and looked down.

”How the hell did you do that?”

Before answering him I put my hands on his shoulders and planted a kiss on his cheek.

”Ugggh gross!”

”Get used to it buddy,” I warned him.  ”You’ll be my best man until the day I die.”

”But I thought Uncle Seb was your best man!?” his voice cracks as he panics.

”It’s my wedding, I’ll do what I want!” I joked.  ”Besides… I can have more than one.”

”I need a speech!” his eyes grew wide as he panicked just a little harder.  ”Quick!  Who’s good with words!?”

”Relax.”

Oh I know who… 

"Uncle Seb!” we said simultaneously.

”I’ll see you outside!” Frankie says as he bolts from the room.

Alone for a second, I let out a deep sigh and grabbed my tuxedo jacket.  On the end table where Seb left it,  rested the sonogram picture.  Picking it up, I kiss it lightly and slide it into my breast pocket.

”Mommy and Daddy miss you baby girl.”]]>
We were supposed to do this in July but something happened that set us back.

With cold water running through the bathroom faucet, I know I'm on the verge of a panic attack.  Those attacks are infrequent, but they tend to pop up whenever I'm stressed.  Trying to calm myself, I hold my hands beneath the water, then bring it to my face.  Leaning forward as to not get water all over my tuxedo, I held my face in my hands for several long seconds before coming up for air.

"Dad!" Comes the knock from Frankie on the other side of the door.

"Not now, Frankie," I called back.

"But I can't get this stupid tie!" He replied.

"Frankie!" Unintentionally, I yelled as I turned off the faucet.  "I said not now!"

From the other side of the door, I heard some murmurs.  Him, I needed right now.

"Hey mate?" Came Sebastian's voice.

"You come in," I replied.

For a moment, I felt guilty for inferring that I didn't want to see Frankie right now.  However, it's exactly what I meant.  I was a wreck and as much as I love that boy, he has the ability to push me over the brink.  He doesn’t mean it and I know it.  Even still, I just need time.

”You alright?” Seb asked as he entered the bathroom with me.

”Yeah,” I lied.

”You don’t seem to be,” he replied back, causing me to look at him.

”I’m not,” I responded honestly as tears welled up in my eyes.

”Is there anything I can do?” asked Seb.

”I don’t think so,” I said with a shake of my head.  ”She’d have been here by now,” I said as tears started to fall.

”Who?”

”You remember a few months ago when we got into that little fight on Twitter and I told you that maybe my problems had nothing to do with you?” I asked Seb, to which he only nodded.

”Certainly was not among our strongest moments as friends,” he said.

Chuckling lightly, I pulled a picture from the pocket of my shirt.

”What’s this?” he asked as I handed it to him before he followed me from the bathroom to the bedroom.

”Her name was Gracie,” I answered as I plopped myself down on the edge of the bed.  He raised his eyes from the picture to look at me.

---

February 2023

Things were good.  I had left and sold OCW, Lauren was on her way out.  I had made the decision that the XWF wasn’t right for me anymore and was on my way to deciding (though I hadn’t yet) to semi-retire from active wrestling.  Lauren was off from OCW and had been having some female health issues so we decided to see a doctor.

”Hmm…” Dr. Jankovich said as she moved the imager thingy around on Lauren’s stomach.

”What is it Doc?” I asked from Lauren’s side.

”Is it a tumor? Lauren asked sort of facetiously.

”What the fuck?  Why would you say that?”

”I bet it’s a tumor.”

”No,” said the doctor as she turned the screen around toward us.  ”It’s not a tumor.”

For what seemed like hours but was more like seconds, Lauren and I just stared at the screen.

”Congratulations mom and dad!” she said as we stared at the screen in amazement.  ”You’re about two months along.”

Leaving us for a few minutes, I looked at Lauren and she couldn’t take her eyes from the screen.

---

Present Day

”She was conceived in early December,” I said to Sebastian.  ”Gracie would be here right now.”

”I…” he said as he searched for words that would never come.

”This is supposed to be the happiest day of our lives,” I said to him.  ”How can I be happy when our daughter isn’t here?”

”What happened?” he asked.

”Well, you know how Lauren can’t carry right?” I asked and Seb nodded.  ”It didn’t stop her from being over the moon excited.  Me?  I was scared to death.  I mean, I wasn’t scared of having another kid.  God knows I want more.  But… Lauren was pregnant before.  They never lasted passed the first trimester.”

---

May 2023

This day in May was like any other day.  We woke up early, made breakfast for the kids and sent Frankie off to school.  Lauren had an appointment so I took the day off work to go with her.  When we first learned she was pregnant, I was scared because I knew her history.  The days, weeks and months rolled by without issue and we were firmly into the second trimester.  She was into her fifth month of pregnancy so we both started to get really excited.  Lauren was finally gonna have her miracle baby.

Later that morning, we were in the doctor’s office and the nurse had spread that jelly all over Lauren’s belly.  She had started doing some imaging but left abruptly.

”What’s her problem?” Lauren asked.

I didn’t say anything at the time.  Instead, I masked my worry with a joke.  She laughed, I forced one, then the doctor came in.

”Mr. And Mrs. Duke, how are we today?” she asked as she sat down.

”We’re great,” Lauren replied.  ”That nurse needs to learn some bedside manners though.  Bitch just walked the fuck out like we weren’t even here.”

”Well, let’s see what’s going on, shall we?” she said as she turned the monitor away from us and started to move the wand thingy over Lauren’s belly.  ”Oh dear,” she said.

”What?”

”What is it?”

”Lauren, I’m very sorry,” she began.

---

Present Day

”I couldn’t even say anything,” I said to Sebastian.  ”The doctor just told us that our little girl didn’t make it and I just stood there frozen like a fuckin’ iceberg.  My wife needed me and I stood there… and I did nothing, I said nothing.”

”Thad I’m so sorry,” he said as he sat the edge of the bed beside me.  ”Why didn’t you guys ever tell us?  We could’ve been there for you.”

”It’s not that easy to talk about,” I answered.  ”You and Sloane had your own problems and as much as we could’ve used you both right then, we left you do your thing and figure out your own shit.”

”How did you guys handle it?” asked Sebastian.

”Not well,” I replied.  ”I went into women and she went into the bottle.”

Seb says nothing.

”Neither of us knew how to make the pain stop.”

---

That Day In May

They aborted the pregnancy that day.  Lauren curled up into the fetal position and cried as I stood against the wall, emotionless and stone-like with my arms folded in front of me.

”Sir?” the nurse says.  ”I’m so sorry for your loss.  We have some legal questions if you could just follow me.”

”Yeah,” I said quietly as I followed her to the nurses station.

”Sir, by law…” she began as she started asking different questions like maiden names and lineage.  ”Her name?”

”Lauren,” I answered.  ”You knew that.”

”The baby's name, sir,” she corrected herself.

”Does that matter?” I asked coldly.  ”She was never born, therefore she can never die.”

”After 24 weeks, New York state law requires legal documentation of both birth and death records,” she informed me.  ”And proper disposal.”

”Disposal,” I repeated with disgust evident.  ”Like trash.”

”I’m sorry.  That’s not how I meant it,” she said apologetically.  ”Her name?”

”Gracie,” I answered.  ”Gracie Lynn.”

---

Present Day

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I recounted the story for Sebastian.  He isn’t one to get too emotional, but this was different.  He was my closest friend and he felt my pain.  I’m not even sure if he knew it or that he meant to do it, but he started holding my hand.

”Seb, I never lost one before,” I told him.  ”You know my kids are everything to me.  And yeah, I knew the probability of Lauren carrying to term was minimal and I was scared at first.  I never imagined it would hurt this bad.  And as hard as it is for me, I can’t even imagine what it did to her.

“It’s all she’s ever wanted.”

”You won though,” Sebastian said.  ”Something like that could have torn your marriage apart but you didn’t let it.”

”It almost did,” I told him honestly.  ”I can use power, I can use influence or money to fix most things, Sebastian.  But not this.”

---

That Day Again

I had answered every question I could.  My head was pounding and my eyes ached as I made my way back into the room with Lauren.  She laid still and made no sound other than a sniffle every now and then.  I’m usually good at this stuff.  If someone is hurting, I find a way to help them.  This time, I was entirely helpless.  I was not the man I needed to be in that moment.

Approaching her bedside, I knelt beside her and leaned my head against hers as she cried quietly.  All I wanted to do was take all the pain away.  From me, from her.  I wished I could rewind the clock a few hours.  The pain wouldn’t arrive and we’d still be expecting our little Gracie.

”Excuse me,” said the nurse from the doorway.  I turned my head but said nothing.  ”Mr. and Mrs. Duke, we wanted to see if you wanted a few minutes with Gracie.”

I couldn’t answer right away.  At a little more than five months, I wasn’t sure how developed she was yet.  I wasn’t sure if the lasting image seared into our memories should be something that only kind of resembled a human baby.  Looking at Lauren, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried hard to hold in her tears.  She must've sensed me looking at her, because she vigorously nodded her head.

”Yeah,” I said quietly.

Just a few moments later, they brought her in and laid her between us before quietly exiting the room.  Laurens cries turned to audible wailing and again, I tried to wish it away.  Instead, it was real.  I have dealt with loss several times in my life as we all do.  I wasn’t then, nor will I ever in the future, be prepared to say goodbye to my child.

Looking at our little Gracie, I was relieved that she looked more like a human baby than I thought she would.  Life wasn’t fair.  What did this unborn child do to deserve her fate?  What I do know, is that her parents loved her more than life itself.

”Gracie,” Lauren muttered between sobs and sniffles.  ”I wish I coulda met you, I think you woulda been the greatest daughter.”

Finally, I broke.  Lauren doesn’t get so raw and genuine and emotional.  I realize this is a special circumstance but I wasn’t prepared and it broke me.  Gracie was very small, no more than about six inches in length.  Even still, I held her tiny little hand in my fingers.

”Mommy and daddy love you, little one,” I began as tears streamed uncontrollably.  ”We’ll find a way to remember you always.”

Lauren sobbed so hard she couldn’t breathe.  I tried so hard to be what she needed but no matter what I did or would’ve done, what she needed was for Gracie to live and that’s not something I could give her.

”I’m not a spiritual person but if there’s anything after this, go find you gram-gram, Gracie,” I said in reference to my mother.  ”She’ll take very good care of you.”

---

Present Day

With Sebastian hanging off every word I said, his eyes and face were as soaked as my own.

”How did you do it?” has asked as he thought of the unimaginable heartbreak Lauren and I had gone through.  ”How did you get past it?”

”We didn’t,” I answered.  ”At least not entirely.  Really it was Frankie that kicked me in the ass.”

”Are you sure he’s really two-teen?” Seb asked with a smile.  ”He’s always so…”

”Intuitive?” I suggested.  ”We didn’t tell him we were expecting.  No one was gonna know until we hit six months.”

”How did he figure it out?”

”That sonogram you’re holding,” I replied.  ”That and I was putting together a nursery for a little girl and Caty’s a bit big for a cradle.”

”What he do to you?” Seb asked.

”Called me on my bullshit,” I chuckled.

---

Early August

While night began to fall on Long Island, I sat upon the glider on the back porch watching from a distance as Lauren groomed her horse, Seabrisket.  Yeah… Seabrisket.  As I swayed back on forth, I spent my time texting a woman that wasn’t my wife.  Her name will not be divulged to protect her privacy.  She wasn’t the first during that period, but she would be the last.  I’m not proud of it, nor should I be.  I handle most things at least okay.  Or, eventually anyway.  This wasn’t one of those things.

Once we put Gracie to rest in the family crypt with my parents, I was withdrawn, quiet.  Lauren didn’t express much of anything except her love of wine.  She was kind to Frankie and the twins, but that was pretty much it.  I’m not blaming her for what I was doing, that’s not on her, that’s on me entirely.  That was my way of dealing with something so tragic instead of being with my wife who very obviously needed me.

I’m not the kind of guy that regrets many things.  I’m a huge believer in a person's mistakes being a pivotal part of their makeup.  I failed.  Miserably.  I regret what I was doing, big time.  To her credit, she didn’t hold it against me.  When we lost Gracie, we both reverted to versions of ourselves that neither of us liked very much.

”Hey,” Frankie says a bit coldly as the screen door slams behind him.

”What’s up kiddo?” I asked as he sat on the glider beside me.

”There’s things going on that I don’t like,” he cut right to the point.

”You noticed, huh?”

”When were you gonna tell me about this?” he asked as he showed me the sonogram picture.

”Where did you get that!?” I asked angrily.  ”You’re not supposed…”

”And you’re not supposed to be sleeping with other women!” he shouted back.

Touche, kid.  Touche.

With one sentence, he shuts me up entirely.

”I’ve known what you are for a long time, Dad,” he began.  ”You always said you stopped doing that because you didn’t want your sons to grow up thinking that it’s acceptable behavior.”

He has my attention.

”Mom’s drinking a lot, you’re out doing God knows who and I’m left here trying to figure out what happened and why.”

”Frankie, it’s…”

”Mom lost the baby,” he interrupted.

My eyes teared up as he stared at me.

”Yeah she did,” I said with a nod.

”So instead of being here with her, you find any excuse for a business trip to go spend time with someone else,” he assumed at least mostly correctly.  ”You guys didn’t even tell me.  We could’ve helped each other because that’s what family does.”

”I’m sorry we didn’t tell you,” I began.  ”We did a bad job of dealing with this.”

”That’s why you were building a nursery,” he said as he started to put all the pieces together in his head.  ”Did you see her?”

I nodded as he teared up a little.

”Did you name her?”

”Gracie Lynn,” I answered him.

”That’s a great name,” Frankie said.  ”Do you love Mom?”

”You know I do, Frank,” I replied to him.

”Then why?”

”I don’t know,” I answered… which admittedly is the absence of an answer.  ”I don’t process loss well.  Curtis, your grandma, Jim… It always felt like everyone was gonna leave me so I found comfort in people that wouldn’t leave me because there was nothing to leave.  Does that make any sense to you?”

”I don’t know but,” he looks across the way toward the stables where Lauren is leading Seabrisket back inside for the night.  ”She doesn’t seem to be leaving you.”

Grabbing him in a side headlock, I kissed him on the top of his head.

”You’re a better kid than I deserve,” I said as I let him go and started off toward my wife.

”I know.”

---

Present Day

”That was it?” Seb asked me.  To which I merely shrugged.  ”So you stop whoring and she stops drinking and everything is good?”

”Little more to it than that,” I began.  ”I just told her that I loved her.  I loved Gracie and I missed her and I wished she was here.  But we didn’t die with her.  It was time to start living again.”

”Will you try again?” he asked.

”Uhhhh,” I thought about it some.  ”I don’t know.  Not any time soon, I don’t think.  Losing Gracie was… fucking devastating man.  I don’t think either of us are anywhere near ready to discuss that possibility again.”

”Daaad!” Frankie calls out, coming closer.

”Come here, I’ll help you,” I called back.

”I’ll be downstairs mate,” Seb said as he starts toward the bedroom door.

”Thanks for listening,” I said to him as he passed by me.  ”I guess I just needed to talk about it.”

He shot me a wink as he exited and Frankie entered with his tie looking like…

”Get over here, Colonel Sanders,” I joked.

”Oh great, everyone’s got jokes,” he says as he plops down on my bed.  ”Uncle Seb just asked me for a six piece!”

”Sit up, lemme look at you,” I instructed him.

Frankie sat up on the bed and I untied his bowtie.

”Bowties are stupid,” he protested.  ”You taught me neckties and I got that down pretty good but this is like a tie gone pro!”

He continued his complaining as I fixed his tie in like fifteen seconds.

”There ya go, kid,” I said as I lightly smacked him on his cheek.  Immediately he jumped to his feet and looked down.

”How the hell did you do that?”

Before answering him I put my hands on his shoulders and planted a kiss on his cheek.

”Ugggh gross!”

”Get used to it buddy,” I warned him.  ”You’ll be my best man until the day I die.”

”But I thought Uncle Seb was your best man!?” his voice cracks as he panics.

”It’s my wedding, I’ll do what I want!” I joked.  ”Besides… I can have more than one.”

”I need a speech!” his eyes grew wide as he panicked just a little harder.  ”Quick!  Who’s good with words!?”

”Relax.”

Oh I know who… 

"Uncle Seb!” we said simultaneously.

”I’ll see you outside!” Frankie says as he bolts from the room.

Alone for a second, I let out a deep sigh and grabbed my tuxedo jacket.  On the end table where Seb left it,  rested the sonogram picture.  Picking it up, I kiss it lightly and slide it into my breast pocket.

”Mommy and Daddy miss you baby girl.”]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46842 Sun, 10 Sep 2023 13:25:53 -0700 Myra Rivers]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46842
Two wins away…

It comes down to those three simple words. I am two wins away from accomplishing my goal of establishing myself as the ‘face of Madness’. In recent times, Keiran King has tried to take that away from me. I’ve been through this rodeo before. It’s always someone like him.

It’s always someone effectively being a ‘glorified troll’ as my sister would put it. To me, I have felt that Keiran is more of an annoyance than a daunting challenge.

“Sometimes, you’ve got to realize that there are people in this business and even whole companies, that are going to do anything and everything in their power to keep you down…” I mentioned to my small room of wrestling students while I was back in Miami giving a bonus lecture. “I think I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been in a situation like this. But the first time that I ever dealt with it… it was painful…”

I took a pause as I glanced at some of the expressions that were looking back at me. I was feeling it in my heart that the story that I was about to dive into a little more, was a story that they all needed to know about.

“In my first wrestling company, 15 years ago… there was another girl that signed with them not too long before I did. I’m not going to use her wrestling name not only because none of you would remember it unless you REALLY studied my career… and I don’t expect any of you to by the way. I don’t have that kind of ego which is more than I can say about a certain someone in THAT wrestling company I used to work for…”

There’s a bit of a pause for laughter.

“But for the purposes of this lesson, I’ll refer to her as ‘Sasha’, okay? See, Sasha was this pretty little farm girl from Georgia that EVERYONE in NSWA, my first wrestling company, was high on. She had no experience. She literally went from farm to wrestling ring with hardly any training. But for some reason, she ‘wowed’ their scouts and thought she had a natural ability to be a star. Of course, it helps that she had connections with their talent VP…”

“SEXUAL relations?” one of the students blurts out, causing laughter in the room.

“...no….” I said sternly. “A personal friend… at least as far as I know. BUT, she was a girlfriend of someone already on the roster. So anyway, they sign me, right. I was HAPPY! After five years of training and busting my ass in the Indies, 23 year old me got her first big break. But, they didn’t think so highly of me. Yeha, my youth and attitude didn’t help, but they just saw me as this pretty little thing from Florida. In fact, their second in command even called me a ‘dumb Florida moron’. Out of the gate… Sasha as thriving. Me? I was scuffling in mediocrity. I think I was 5-5 after my first 10 matches while Sasha had won a title already. She was getting SO much praise while her boyfriend kept running me down, saying I was shit, saying that I wasn’t going to hack it and so forth. It’s funny looking back on it NOW, but then? It was rough. Sasha, however, let her early success get to her head, okay?  She started to slack. She started to half ass everything. She wasn’t putting in the work that she once did. Her stock fell, but even then, she was considered a ‘favorite’ to win a certain ladder match that happened in Vegas that I was in that NOBODY but me and like my best friend thought I could win.

And then I won and… the rest is history… KIDDING, it’s not that simple…

More laughter in the classroom.

“NSWA finally noticed me and they started talking me up. I remember their owner being all ‘Bloody hell bint… you’re actually really fucking good. You might even be the golden girl this company needs…’

After his side chick retired… mind you…”

Some “oooooh’s” are heard in the room.

“Meanwhile, Sasha… she kept Ryan Leafing her career: bad decision after bad decision. She even started to sleep around…”

“Oh so she WAS a skank! I KNEW IT!” another student blurts out.

“Well…” I said, sort of uncomfortable to go there. “...sure. Yeah. And hey, beating her for the Women’s Championship was a hell of a feeling and she flamed out and went back home to Georgia while I became the absolute best women’s wrestler NSWA ever had as I won multiple world championships and got into their Hall of Fame… oh if ONLY it were THAT easy. Don’t get me wrong, I was Women’s and TV Champion at the same time at one point and I was hauling ass in early 2009 trying to break the system and give the company fresh new blood in the main event scene because their world title had a tendency of revolving around the same 5 people. Yet…”

I paused, letting out a sigh.

“...I never got that chance. Not ONE fair, one on one shot at their world championship.

Then Sasha comes back and she gets a world title shot immediately… and that GUTTED me because I WANTED to be that ‘franchise face’ and I did everything they asked me to do… but despite my hard work and my loyalty to NSWA… they chose Sasha over me. So, this new company called PRW… they contact me and I honestly didn’t want to talk to them, but I accepted an invitation to do an interview because I didn’t want to be rude, honestly. So, we talked and now? I was faced with the toughest decision of my career up to that point…

They offered me a contract.  In this situation, what’s the best choice to make?

Stay in NSWA, with the traditions they had built up for a few years, try to work through it all and stay strong no matter how long it takes for you to reach your goal?

Or take the gamble and join the then fledgling PRW feeling like doing so would be admitting failure in the aforementioned goal? I took a poll of this on my fansite and over 70 percent say that they would’ve stuck it out in NSWA… and I can’t fault them for that because in MOST cases, sticking it out IS the better choice…

But NOT in this instance…”

March 2009

Flashing back to when I was 24, closer to 25. For days, I had been weighing such a tough decision. I loved NSWA. I grew into the wrestler that I became as a whole while I was there, especially coming off of that amazing ladder match victory the year prior. I was so loyal to that company even though they hardly ever repaid that loyalty in return. My sister, as much as I loved her, didn’t know much about wrestling and wasn’t a wrestler so there was no way I could go to her about this. My lifelong best friend in Jazmyn Rain wasn’t a wrestler yet. Candice Carter, another of my good friends, had her promising training cut short by a horrible neck-related medical report she got.

So there was only ONE person that could help me…

My old trainer…

My father figure…

Scott Lockley.

I remember sitting on his couch as I showed him the contract offer I had gotten from PRW. He seemed very calm, cool and collected.

“I wish I could work for both…” I admitted without thinking. Obviously, I was far more naive at the age of 24 than I am right now. “...because honestly? I don’t want to leave NSWA. But what PRW offered me has an exclusivity clause so if I go and work for them, then I have to leave.”

“What would your mother have done?” he asked me.

“Was she in this same situation?”

“Similar. You have to remember that in our day, wrestling was still doing the territorial system. The best she could do was leave one territory for another. She won the CWA World Women’s Championship, yes. But, it took her many years of trying… as well as many failures before she finally broke through and achieved the one thing she had always wanted to achieve. She stuck it out and it worked out for her.”

“I see…” I said with a sigh as I looked back at the contract offer. “So, if I stick it out in NSWA, then maybe I can make this work and I can become their world champion and lead them to that new era they desperately need to be led to as the face of their franchise. It’s still possible…”

“Barely possible…” Lockley said bluntly. “...when they’ve already chosen the woman that they want to ride with and when they refuse to budge on new blood in the main event scene, you’ve got an uphill battle. But, you are strong enough to break through all of that.”

“Stick it out then…” I said. I was ready to tear up the PRW contract but…

“...what the hell are you doing?” Lockley asked me. “Sign the damn contract”

My eyes widened with shock at what I just heard.

“WHAT?”

“Myra, this is a situation where you are never going to be the franchise face of NSWA. You’re never going to be their golden girl and before you go nuts on me, I just want to say that it’s not going to happen NOT because you’re not good enough, but because that company isn’t going to let it happen. It’s not because you’re not good enough for them, it’s because you’re TOO GOOD for them. That skank that they want as a star… they chose her. They’re going to do everything she can to make sure she’s successful. They didn’t choose you. They didn’t think you’d amount to anything. They only gave you the opportunities that you did because you left them no other choice with that ladder match win, but if you never won that match, they would’ve let you go by now. Come on Miranda. Have some common sense!”

I was frozen, especially knowing that Lockley was deeply serious whenever he used my full first name as he just did.

“But… PRW is a new company… it would be a career gamble to go with them…”

“You have to take the gamble and you have to take the offer. They want you. They value you otherwise they wouldn’t be offering you one of the richest contracts they’ve given out. THEY see you as a potential face of their company. Even if you DID, somehow… someway… cut through all the red tape in NSWA, you’re only carrying on a tradition that was already built that they would expect you to continue even though you know it’s full of politics and corruption. In PRW? You would not only be a world champion there as you were in WXWF, but you’d be THE face, THE golden girl, THE standard bearer, THE tradition builder. PRW is new and cutting edge. NSWA is a dying brand. Take the offer, Myra. Take it and realize the fullest potential that NSWA is never going to allow you to reach…”

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down as everything was happening so fast. I knew he was right. NSWA never appreciated me and they never will. They made that clear when they chose ‘Sasha’ over me.

“You’re right…” I told my trainer. “...I think I know what I need to do…”

Present Day

“So, I made the jump. PRW would last four years. I’d be their world champion twice. I got to be a Triple Crowner and a Hall of Fame member there and when you consider I was sadly injured a lot while I was over there, I carved out a damn good career in my twenties. Obviously, it pales in comparison to who I am today and where I am at in this business, but PRW is where I REALLY built the foundation. As for NSWA? And for ‘Sasha’? As expected, Sasha flopped. NSWA bet on the wrong horse and in 2010, the company shut down its doors for good. Sasha’s career never amounted to anything and she’s lucky to even get work in backyard trampolines these days.

What’s funny is, I came to the same exact quandary last year when I left SCW. It wasn’t admitting defeat, it was knowing that my greatest potential could be somewhere else and you can’t be afraid of making that jump when you have to. So, going through it the first time helped me understand that I had to leave SCW and come here to potentially be the face of a brand and just like I did then with PRW when I established myself as the face of THAT company, I’m going to finalize it with Madness with two more wins. If you believe in yourself enough, those are the tough decisions you have to make…

Anyway, go on and have some lunch. The food truck is arriving any minute now”

I did soak in some applause from my small class of students before they slowly left the room.

Was I thinking about how my career would’ve gone if I had stayed in NSWA? Honestly, I never did consider that because I made the decision that my heart wanted me to make to begin with. I knew that if I stayed, I likely would’ve never gotten as far as I have in my career but it’s nothing I gave much thought to.

Over the past 16 months, did I ever think about where I’d be today if I never left Sin City Wrestling to come here, among other federations? Nope. Because I knew that coming here was going to give me the chance to accomplish the goal that I knew, as painful as it was to know, was never going to happen there. I came to XWF, I came to Madness, because I knew that with a fledgling brand as it was at the time, I could make a difference and I could carry the brand to greater heights as I established myself as the ‘face of the brand’.

It’s been an amazing ride on Madness, title and all.

I’m two wins away from making it all happen…

And the first of those two?

It’s happening tomorrow night…]]>
Two wins away…

It comes down to those three simple words. I am two wins away from accomplishing my goal of establishing myself as the ‘face of Madness’. In recent times, Keiran King has tried to take that away from me. I’ve been through this rodeo before. It’s always someone like him.

It’s always someone effectively being a ‘glorified troll’ as my sister would put it. To me, I have felt that Keiran is more of an annoyance than a daunting challenge.

“Sometimes, you’ve got to realize that there are people in this business and even whole companies, that are going to do anything and everything in their power to keep you down…” I mentioned to my small room of wrestling students while I was back in Miami giving a bonus lecture. “I think I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been in a situation like this. But the first time that I ever dealt with it… it was painful…”

I took a pause as I glanced at some of the expressions that were looking back at me. I was feeling it in my heart that the story that I was about to dive into a little more, was a story that they all needed to know about.

“In my first wrestling company, 15 years ago… there was another girl that signed with them not too long before I did. I’m not going to use her wrestling name not only because none of you would remember it unless you REALLY studied my career… and I don’t expect any of you to by the way. I don’t have that kind of ego which is more than I can say about a certain someone in THAT wrestling company I used to work for…”

There’s a bit of a pause for laughter.

“But for the purposes of this lesson, I’ll refer to her as ‘Sasha’, okay? See, Sasha was this pretty little farm girl from Georgia that EVERYONE in NSWA, my first wrestling company, was high on. She had no experience. She literally went from farm to wrestling ring with hardly any training. But for some reason, she ‘wowed’ their scouts and thought she had a natural ability to be a star. Of course, it helps that she had connections with their talent VP…”

“SEXUAL relations?” one of the students blurts out, causing laughter in the room.

“...no….” I said sternly. “A personal friend… at least as far as I know. BUT, she was a girlfriend of someone already on the roster. So anyway, they sign me, right. I was HAPPY! After five years of training and busting my ass in the Indies, 23 year old me got her first big break. But, they didn’t think so highly of me. Yeha, my youth and attitude didn’t help, but they just saw me as this pretty little thing from Florida. In fact, their second in command even called me a ‘dumb Florida moron’. Out of the gate… Sasha as thriving. Me? I was scuffling in mediocrity. I think I was 5-5 after my first 10 matches while Sasha had won a title already. She was getting SO much praise while her boyfriend kept running me down, saying I was shit, saying that I wasn’t going to hack it and so forth. It’s funny looking back on it NOW, but then? It was rough. Sasha, however, let her early success get to her head, okay?  She started to slack. She started to half ass everything. She wasn’t putting in the work that she once did. Her stock fell, but even then, she was considered a ‘favorite’ to win a certain ladder match that happened in Vegas that I was in that NOBODY but me and like my best friend thought I could win.

And then I won and… the rest is history… KIDDING, it’s not that simple…

More laughter in the classroom.

“NSWA finally noticed me and they started talking me up. I remember their owner being all ‘Bloody hell bint… you’re actually really fucking good. You might even be the golden girl this company needs…’

After his side chick retired… mind you…”

Some “oooooh’s” are heard in the room.

“Meanwhile, Sasha… she kept Ryan Leafing her career: bad decision after bad decision. She even started to sleep around…”

“Oh so she WAS a skank! I KNEW IT!” another student blurts out.

“Well…” I said, sort of uncomfortable to go there. “...sure. Yeah. And hey, beating her for the Women’s Championship was a hell of a feeling and she flamed out and went back home to Georgia while I became the absolute best women’s wrestler NSWA ever had as I won multiple world championships and got into their Hall of Fame… oh if ONLY it were THAT easy. Don’t get me wrong, I was Women’s and TV Champion at the same time at one point and I was hauling ass in early 2009 trying to break the system and give the company fresh new blood in the main event scene because their world title had a tendency of revolving around the same 5 people. Yet…”

I paused, letting out a sigh.

“...I never got that chance. Not ONE fair, one on one shot at their world championship.

Then Sasha comes back and she gets a world title shot immediately… and that GUTTED me because I WANTED to be that ‘franchise face’ and I did everything they asked me to do… but despite my hard work and my loyalty to NSWA… they chose Sasha over me. So, this new company called PRW… they contact me and I honestly didn’t want to talk to them, but I accepted an invitation to do an interview because I didn’t want to be rude, honestly. So, we talked and now? I was faced with the toughest decision of my career up to that point…

They offered me a contract.  In this situation, what’s the best choice to make?

Stay in NSWA, with the traditions they had built up for a few years, try to work through it all and stay strong no matter how long it takes for you to reach your goal?

Or take the gamble and join the then fledgling PRW feeling like doing so would be admitting failure in the aforementioned goal? I took a poll of this on my fansite and over 70 percent say that they would’ve stuck it out in NSWA… and I can’t fault them for that because in MOST cases, sticking it out IS the better choice…

But NOT in this instance…”

March 2009

Flashing back to when I was 24, closer to 25. For days, I had been weighing such a tough decision. I loved NSWA. I grew into the wrestler that I became as a whole while I was there, especially coming off of that amazing ladder match victory the year prior. I was so loyal to that company even though they hardly ever repaid that loyalty in return. My sister, as much as I loved her, didn’t know much about wrestling and wasn’t a wrestler so there was no way I could go to her about this. My lifelong best friend in Jazmyn Rain wasn’t a wrestler yet. Candice Carter, another of my good friends, had her promising training cut short by a horrible neck-related medical report she got.

So there was only ONE person that could help me…

My old trainer…

My father figure…

Scott Lockley.

I remember sitting on his couch as I showed him the contract offer I had gotten from PRW. He seemed very calm, cool and collected.

“I wish I could work for both…” I admitted without thinking. Obviously, I was far more naive at the age of 24 than I am right now. “...because honestly? I don’t want to leave NSWA. But what PRW offered me has an exclusivity clause so if I go and work for them, then I have to leave.”

“What would your mother have done?” he asked me.

“Was she in this same situation?”

“Similar. You have to remember that in our day, wrestling was still doing the territorial system. The best she could do was leave one territory for another. She won the CWA World Women’s Championship, yes. But, it took her many years of trying… as well as many failures before she finally broke through and achieved the one thing she had always wanted to achieve. She stuck it out and it worked out for her.”

“I see…” I said with a sigh as I looked back at the contract offer. “So, if I stick it out in NSWA, then maybe I can make this work and I can become their world champion and lead them to that new era they desperately need to be led to as the face of their franchise. It’s still possible…”

“Barely possible…” Lockley said bluntly. “...when they’ve already chosen the woman that they want to ride with and when they refuse to budge on new blood in the main event scene, you’ve got an uphill battle. But, you are strong enough to break through all of that.”

“Stick it out then…” I said. I was ready to tear up the PRW contract but…

“...what the hell are you doing?” Lockley asked me. “Sign the damn contract”

My eyes widened with shock at what I just heard.

“WHAT?”

“Myra, this is a situation where you are never going to be the franchise face of NSWA. You’re never going to be their golden girl and before you go nuts on me, I just want to say that it’s not going to happen NOT because you’re not good enough, but because that company isn’t going to let it happen. It’s not because you’re not good enough for them, it’s because you’re TOO GOOD for them. That skank that they want as a star… they chose her. They’re going to do everything she can to make sure she’s successful. They didn’t choose you. They didn’t think you’d amount to anything. They only gave you the opportunities that you did because you left them no other choice with that ladder match win, but if you never won that match, they would’ve let you go by now. Come on Miranda. Have some common sense!”

I was frozen, especially knowing that Lockley was deeply serious whenever he used my full first name as he just did.

“But… PRW is a new company… it would be a career gamble to go with them…”

“You have to take the gamble and you have to take the offer. They want you. They value you otherwise they wouldn’t be offering you one of the richest contracts they’ve given out. THEY see you as a potential face of their company. Even if you DID, somehow… someway… cut through all the red tape in NSWA, you’re only carrying on a tradition that was already built that they would expect you to continue even though you know it’s full of politics and corruption. In PRW? You would not only be a world champion there as you were in WXWF, but you’d be THE face, THE golden girl, THE standard bearer, THE tradition builder. PRW is new and cutting edge. NSWA is a dying brand. Take the offer, Myra. Take it and realize the fullest potential that NSWA is never going to allow you to reach…”

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down as everything was happening so fast. I knew he was right. NSWA never appreciated me and they never will. They made that clear when they chose ‘Sasha’ over me.

“You’re right…” I told my trainer. “...I think I know what I need to do…”

Present Day

“So, I made the jump. PRW would last four years. I’d be their world champion twice. I got to be a Triple Crowner and a Hall of Fame member there and when you consider I was sadly injured a lot while I was over there, I carved out a damn good career in my twenties. Obviously, it pales in comparison to who I am today and where I am at in this business, but PRW is where I REALLY built the foundation. As for NSWA? And for ‘Sasha’? As expected, Sasha flopped. NSWA bet on the wrong horse and in 2010, the company shut down its doors for good. Sasha’s career never amounted to anything and she’s lucky to even get work in backyard trampolines these days.

What’s funny is, I came to the same exact quandary last year when I left SCW. It wasn’t admitting defeat, it was knowing that my greatest potential could be somewhere else and you can’t be afraid of making that jump when you have to. So, going through it the first time helped me understand that I had to leave SCW and come here to potentially be the face of a brand and just like I did then with PRW when I established myself as the face of THAT company, I’m going to finalize it with Madness with two more wins. If you believe in yourself enough, those are the tough decisions you have to make…

Anyway, go on and have some lunch. The food truck is arriving any minute now”

I did soak in some applause from my small class of students before they slowly left the room.

Was I thinking about how my career would’ve gone if I had stayed in NSWA? Honestly, I never did consider that because I made the decision that my heart wanted me to make to begin with. I knew that if I stayed, I likely would’ve never gotten as far as I have in my career but it’s nothing I gave much thought to.

Over the past 16 months, did I ever think about where I’d be today if I never left Sin City Wrestling to come here, among other federations? Nope. Because I knew that coming here was going to give me the chance to accomplish the goal that I knew, as painful as it was to know, was never going to happen there. I came to XWF, I came to Madness, because I knew that with a fledgling brand as it was at the time, I could make a difference and I could carry the brand to greater heights as I established myself as the ‘face of the brand’.

It’s been an amazing ride on Madness, title and all.

I’m two wins away from making it all happen…

And the first of those two?

It’s happening tomorrow night…]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46828 Fri, 08 Sep 2023 15:20:59 -0700 Elijah Copeland]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46828 Elijah has stated what his intentions were at Madness. Course, he didn’t want anyone to see his transformation yet. But since this is on air, it would be okay. He has been keeping his body in shape to stay focused for when he makes his return to the ring at XWF. Course, people saw the new Elijah at Zion, but that’s besides the point. Elijah is sitting on the steps at his home looking in the distance and wearing a black tank top, black cargo pants, and black sneakers. His hair is jet-black with red bangs covering his right eye. He begins to talk to himself and figuring out what to do at Madness.

“It must be this way. I have no choice but to change who I am in order to get back to the top. I have to show no remorse and hate everyone.”

Elijah stands up and walks forward and grabs a bottle of whiskey and heads towards his car. He enters it and opens the bottle to start drinking it in order to get the memory of the loss out of his mind. A soft ethereal voice is heard behind him.

“Elijah, hate isn’t always the way. That leads down a slippery slope from which many people have never recovered from or returned from. Once hate takes the reins, you lose all power and control. Are you sure you are prepared for all that dark path holds? Once hate takes over, you belong to it.”

Elijah looks at the person who spoke to him and that was Marie. There was no doubt that the hate that he felt is normal considering what happened with the Bing Bong Twinz.

“Can you blame me, Marie? Losing to the Bing Bong Twinz because of their cowardly ways really sets it apart for me. How can I even come back from this? It’s like I’m hanging by a moment that I want to be cut away from.”

He lays his on his wheel and it feels like everything that he believes is going away. 

“It’s like I want to run away and never be seen, Marie. Please, I need your guidance, Marie. I need to get back to how it was before. I don’t want the belt, I need it.”

She looks at Elijah with much care and concern. She knows how deeply he is scarred by that loss to such embarrassing excuses cosplaying as humans. She understands why he needs the chance to redeem himself.

“Time to go back to your roots, Elijah. It is time to reflect and remember what made you who/what you are. Remember, repurpose and reinvent…”

He brings his head up and looks at her in the eyes. It was something that he needed to hear. He gets out of the car and stands in front of her while keeping his eyes on hers. He put his hands on her waist as they got closer and closer.

“I will remember it all, Marie. With you by my side, I'll be unstoppable. All the hate that I feel will never be you, but at the people who betrayed me. People who mocked me because of the loss. All those people who didn’t comfort me after that embarrassment. Marie, you're my everything and will forever be grateful for what you've given me. This new me? This new me will take me to the top and when I get there, I want you there by my side as you and I will rule madness as King and queen.”

Marie nods her head approvingly. She knows that he has been having a hard time as of late but if anyone can, it’s Elijah. She has the utmost faith in him. He couldn’t help but smile while looking at her. Elijah knows that he has to focus on getting back on track in XWF and he will. Right now, all he wants to do is be with Marie. She has brought the best in him. He rubs her arms gently and smiles.

“You’re the one good thing in my life right now, Marie. There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to have you by my side and in my bed. Marie, this moment? This moment will be the beginning of what we can do. When I get back the championship, everything will belong to us. Madness, this place, us. It’ll be all ours and nobody will be there to stop us.”

“You will regain all you have lost. Just focus and concentrate on your goals.”

“Which I plan on doing. I don’t care who or what gets in my way. I'm going to put fear in the eyes of those who turned their backs against me. Who will the first one be? I don't know. But whoever it is, will understand my pain. Pain that will never heal at all. My goal will be to take back what was taken from me, and I will destroy any and all that stands in my way.”

]]> Elijah has stated what his intentions were at Madness. Course, he didn’t want anyone to see his transformation yet. But since this is on air, it would be okay. He has been keeping his body in shape to stay focused for when he makes his return to the ring at XWF. Course, people saw the new Elijah at Zion, but that’s besides the point. Elijah is sitting on the steps at his home looking in the distance and wearing a black tank top, black cargo pants, and black sneakers. His hair is jet-black with red bangs covering his right eye. He begins to talk to himself and figuring out what to do at Madness.

“It must be this way. I have no choice but to change who I am in order to get back to the top. I have to show no remorse and hate everyone.”

Elijah stands up and walks forward and grabs a bottle of whiskey and heads towards his car. He enters it and opens the bottle to start drinking it in order to get the memory of the loss out of his mind. A soft ethereal voice is heard behind him.

“Elijah, hate isn’t always the way. That leads down a slippery slope from which many people have never recovered from or returned from. Once hate takes the reins, you lose all power and control. Are you sure you are prepared for all that dark path holds? Once hate takes over, you belong to it.”

Elijah looks at the person who spoke to him and that was Marie. There was no doubt that the hate that he felt is normal considering what happened with the Bing Bong Twinz.

“Can you blame me, Marie? Losing to the Bing Bong Twinz because of their cowardly ways really sets it apart for me. How can I even come back from this? It’s like I’m hanging by a moment that I want to be cut away from.”

He lays his on his wheel and it feels like everything that he believes is going away. 

“It’s like I want to run away and never be seen, Marie. Please, I need your guidance, Marie. I need to get back to how it was before. I don’t want the belt, I need it.”

She looks at Elijah with much care and concern. She knows how deeply he is scarred by that loss to such embarrassing excuses cosplaying as humans. She understands why he needs the chance to redeem himself.

“Time to go back to your roots, Elijah. It is time to reflect and remember what made you who/what you are. Remember, repurpose and reinvent…”

He brings his head up and looks at her in the eyes. It was something that he needed to hear. He gets out of the car and stands in front of her while keeping his eyes on hers. He put his hands on her waist as they got closer and closer.

“I will remember it all, Marie. With you by my side, I'll be unstoppable. All the hate that I feel will never be you, but at the people who betrayed me. People who mocked me because of the loss. All those people who didn’t comfort me after that embarrassment. Marie, you're my everything and will forever be grateful for what you've given me. This new me? This new me will take me to the top and when I get there, I want you there by my side as you and I will rule madness as King and queen.”

Marie nods her head approvingly. She knows that he has been having a hard time as of late but if anyone can, it’s Elijah. She has the utmost faith in him. He couldn’t help but smile while looking at her. Elijah knows that he has to focus on getting back on track in XWF and he will. Right now, all he wants to do is be with Marie. She has brought the best in him. He rubs her arms gently and smiles.

“You’re the one good thing in my life right now, Marie. There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to have you by my side and in my bed. Marie, this moment? This moment will be the beginning of what we can do. When I get back the championship, everything will belong to us. Madness, this place, us. It’ll be all ours and nobody will be there to stop us.”

“You will regain all you have lost. Just focus and concentrate on your goals.”

“Which I plan on doing. I don’t care who or what gets in my way. I'm going to put fear in the eyes of those who turned their backs against me. Who will the first one be? I don't know. But whoever it is, will understand my pain. Pain that will never heal at all. My goal will be to take back what was taken from me, and I will destroy any and all that stands in my way.”

]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46814 Tue, 05 Sep 2023 05:52:48 -0700 Kieran King]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46814 Background:
Arcadia (Roleplays and event)
Madness #15

30 June 2023.
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

That fucking beeping noise.

There isn't much more of an annoying sound. All I'm trying to do is catch a few winks and yet there it is. Beep, beep, fucking beep. 'World class' medical support, and they can't even quieten a goddamn beep. What kind of confidence is that supposed to inspire?

God, I hate Saudi Arabia.

Beep.

Last time I was here was about four years ago and I swore that I would never come back. Most of these Arab countries tend to give a little leeway on their 'no alcohol' policies for westerners who might spend a bit of coin, and I've always been here on business so I certainly met that bill. You have to be respectful and keep it to your private quarters, but they'll allow it. But for me, all the sneaking around just for a bloody shot of whiskey isn't worth it. Not to mention the challenges in getting anything else 'fun', if you catch my drift. Shit, YA BOY can't even drop into a titty bar to kill some time. This place sucks. And a hospital here sucks even more.

Beep.

I feel like I got hit by a truck. Because I did. I had to give it to Jacki O'Lantern; I didn't think she had it in her. The whole stunt I pulled with taking her cats motivated her, and I guess that's what I had been going for, but I had meant it in a different way. Since the moment I returned to wrestling on the XWF's Madness brand after over 10 years out of the business, Jacki had been bugging the shit out of me. She wanted to be my 'friend'. I don't remember saying I was looking for one. So I took matters into my own hands.

Beep.

The deal I offered was that if she left me the fuck alone, I give her cats back. Instead, Jacki opted to drive a freaking monster truck into me, and in as much pain as I'm in, I'm kind of impressed. She can take the damn Lord of Violence for all I care. With Vinnie Lane seeming less and less involved in the day to day of Madness, it might not matter much soon enough anyway. And it's not like she beat me at my best. Yesterday I crawled out of a fucking pit in a farm after Arcadia turned into the latest edition of Fight: NYC's Blood Money. I wasn't exactly my freshest this morning.

Beep.

Maybe I should've seen a doctor then. But I had an obligation to fulfil! And so I fucking did. I got on a goddamn plane and was shipped off to Saudi to do what I do best: make fucking money. Nobody can take that away from me. Nobody can deny that I was the most interesting thing to ever happen to that Lord of Violence division. Nobody can deny that I outlasted the XWF Universal Champion himself, Raion Kido, in the pits of Blood Money.

Beep.[i]

Nobody can deny that I need some more fucking morphine.

I pressed the button attached to my bed. Another [i]beep sounded, with a less aggravating tone. I'm sure if it repeated ad infinitum like the other one, however, it'd equally make me want to crack my head open.

I gave it another blast, hoping the second sounding of the button would hurry the nurses along. Almost as soon as my thumb lifted up, the door to my room swung open.

"My boy!" shouted a portly, balding man who threw his arms open as if to give me a hug. The pit stains under the sleeves of his Hawaiian shirt and the bead of sweat forming just underneath the gold chain that hung down on his half-exposed chest both suggested I shouldn't accept. It was just a gesture on his behalf anyway. The two heavies who entered the room behind him reminded me just who I was dealing with.

"Jimmy," I said, eyeing the two brutes with caution. Jimmy took up a spot on the bed next to me, shuffling my hand away with his hip. "I trust everything came through on the payment front from Louie?"

He waved a hand through the air. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it! You and me, we're square. Mary said you treated her well enough and I trust she did the same to you, eh?" He winked. It was gross.

"I had fun," I shrugged. It had only been a week ago that I was out on my yacht with Mary, one of Jimmy's girls, and Maddy, one of Louie's. With  everything that's happened this weekend, it feels like it could have been a year ago.

"Good, good, good." Jimmy patted me on the shoulder. I winced a little as the contact vibrated its way through my whole body down to my legs which had taken the worst of the impact from the monster truck. For his part, Jimmy didn't seem to even notice my pain. He fell quiet, as if something was weighing on him.

Beep.

"You alright there, Jimmy?" The irony of asking that while I was in a hospital wasn't lost on me.

"Mary can be a little… nuts. Good kid, but… you know." I didn't. Moreover, I was also a little concerned that he's still talking about this girl. Did something happen to her? Does he think I did it? Shit, I hope she hasn't tested positive for something. Arcadia, Jacki O'Lantern's truck, then some sort of VD - not the kind of three-way I was hoping for when it came to that girl. "Sometimes people like that  they just need a little guidance. A soft hand. Someone to look out for them."

"Good thing she has you then." He grunted some form of acknowledgement. "Where are you going with this?"

"Do you remember when you and I first met? You were half-naked in New Orleans, soaking wet, and fleeing from one of the Chinamen." A faint smile appeared on his face. I think one crept onto mine too. Jimmy's being kind when he says 'half-naked'. It was the bottom half that was bare.

"I wouldn't call it fleeing…"

Jimmy's grin widened as he turned to me and cocked an eyebrow. "He had a gun, while you had…"

"My nuts flapping in the wind?"

Spit flew from Jimmy's mouth as he let loose a laugh from the belly.

Beep.

"Those little raisins?"

"It was wet and cold!"

"Mmm… that it was, that it was." He grew quiet again. Knowing Jimmy as I have l these years, it was….unnerving.

I tried to break whatever tension he was feeling. "Did I ever tell you that I wound up meeting that guy again?" That did enough to pique his interest. "He was Chan's cousin."

"That I did not know."

"It's cool though, Chan hated him anyway and loved that I had 'dishonoured him' - his words - by banging his wife. Even said he'd have him offed if I agreed to marry the broad. Still not sure if he was joking or not..."p/red]

Jimmy just smiled and nodded.

This was odd.

[red]"Jimmy…"

"This is not good, kid." He slid off the bed and took a couple of steps towards the window. I didn't say anything, and after a short moment, he looked back at me over his shoulder. "Look at you there. You can't even walk."

"I can, it's just–"

"This wrestling thing…" He cut me off. "You're not exactly setting the world on fire, Kieran. I don't get it. What are you trying to accomplish? You have so much promise with us. Look at what you've done. Back when we met I would have killed that Chinaman friend of yours. Louie and I hadn't spoken in years. Mario even longer. But now you want to wrestle again? Why?"

"I…" It was hard to explain. Hard for me to even understand myself. When that shaggy-haired cunt who calls himself ALIAS started taking my name in vain, my attention was on the industry again. And from there I just couldn't shake the thought.

I had made a lot of money doing what I had been doing. It certainly wasn't glamorous work. A big part of why I wasn't too concerned about what Arcadia really was - and let's face it, I did suspect - was that I had been in enough holes in the ground to not really be scared of the prospect anymore. I was good at what I did. But in wrestling? I was winning enough, but nothing like I should be.

Nothing like I used to be.

"Did you hear about the others from your little island getaway?" He was referring to Arcadia. "A number of them got little black boxes at the end. Want to know what was in then? Invitations. They got invited to another competition. But I look around this hospital room and I don't see one for you. I see no championship either. I see nothing to show for your work other than two broken legs as shrivelled up as your balls." I see him take a deep breath, and he approaches the side of the bed once more. "Kid, I like you. I want you to be happy. I gave you Mary, and I'll do it again. Any of the women, any of the money, any of the booze. Yours. I've let you follow your dream here and I always will, for your happiness. But this… the more you wind up like this, the more you wind up failing… the less I want to give you."

"I've got it under contro–"

"Don't. That's what they all say." Again he cuts me off. "You've heard it. You've been there when they've said it. Anybody who finishes those words doesn't have control over their bowels let alone their life. They shit themselves and they shit themselves and then they shit themselves some more. And they shit all over anything and everything in their vicinity. I don't want to be shat on, kid. Don't shit on me."

His eyes don't blink as he stares into my own.

He's right.

I groan as I push myself up off the bed, controlling my own weight as I sit up.

Beep.

"I'm not going to shit on you, Jimmy."

He holds that eye contact with me for a little longer.

Slowly, he accepts my claim with a nod.

"Then you better have a plan. And it better be a better plan than the island one! We were waiting in Maldives to pull you out, but never got the signal." Arcadia again. I had him and his goon squad on standby in case anything went sour (which it inevitably was going to) but never got a chance to put in the call.

"I'll come up with something." But what?

"You're no young 21-year-old champion anymore, you know…"

That… that's it!

Thirteen years ago I won the XWF World Championship, and two months later became the XWF Universal Champion in a title vs. title match. I would wind up losing the Universal Championship to Drake Komodo, and though I later won another shot I was never given, Raion Kido has made it clear that he won't come to Madness to put the title on the line. And that matters to me. I want to build this brand with my name plastered all over it, not jump to the same old shit I did within my first three months of the business.

But there is another idea in there…

Jimmy sees the wheels turning inside my brain. "Do you think you could find something for me?" I ask him.

"What?"

"The original XWF World Heavyweight Championship."

Yeah…this idea will do.

Say what you will about me, but never doubt that I know how to make a fucking headline. This is a business after all, and I am good at what I do.

Beep.

Beep.

Fucking beep.[/i][/i]]]> Background:
Arcadia (Roleplays and event)
Madness #15

30 June 2023.
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

That fucking beeping noise.

There isn't much more of an annoying sound. All I'm trying to do is catch a few winks and yet there it is. Beep, beep, fucking beep. 'World class' medical support, and they can't even quieten a goddamn beep. What kind of confidence is that supposed to inspire?

God, I hate Saudi Arabia.

Beep.

Last time I was here was about four years ago and I swore that I would never come back. Most of these Arab countries tend to give a little leeway on their 'no alcohol' policies for westerners who might spend a bit of coin, and I've always been here on business so I certainly met that bill. You have to be respectful and keep it to your private quarters, but they'll allow it. But for me, all the sneaking around just for a bloody shot of whiskey isn't worth it. Not to mention the challenges in getting anything else 'fun', if you catch my drift. Shit, YA BOY can't even drop into a titty bar to kill some time. This place sucks. And a hospital here sucks even more.

Beep.

I feel like I got hit by a truck. Because I did. I had to give it to Jacki O'Lantern; I didn't think she had it in her. The whole stunt I pulled with taking her cats motivated her, and I guess that's what I had been going for, but I had meant it in a different way. Since the moment I returned to wrestling on the XWF's Madness brand after over 10 years out of the business, Jacki had been bugging the shit out of me. She wanted to be my 'friend'. I don't remember saying I was looking for one. So I took matters into my own hands.

Beep.

The deal I offered was that if she left me the fuck alone, I give her cats back. Instead, Jacki opted to drive a freaking monster truck into me, and in as much pain as I'm in, I'm kind of impressed. She can take the damn Lord of Violence for all I care. With Vinnie Lane seeming less and less involved in the day to day of Madness, it might not matter much soon enough anyway. And it's not like she beat me at my best. Yesterday I crawled out of a fucking pit in a farm after Arcadia turned into the latest edition of Fight: NYC's Blood Money. I wasn't exactly my freshest this morning.

Beep.

Maybe I should've seen a doctor then. But I had an obligation to fulfil! And so I fucking did. I got on a goddamn plane and was shipped off to Saudi to do what I do best: make fucking money. Nobody can take that away from me. Nobody can deny that I was the most interesting thing to ever happen to that Lord of Violence division. Nobody can deny that I outlasted the XWF Universal Champion himself, Raion Kido, in the pits of Blood Money.

Beep.[i]

Nobody can deny that I need some more fucking morphine.

I pressed the button attached to my bed. Another [i]beep sounded, with a less aggravating tone. I'm sure if it repeated ad infinitum like the other one, however, it'd equally make me want to crack my head open.

I gave it another blast, hoping the second sounding of the button would hurry the nurses along. Almost as soon as my thumb lifted up, the door to my room swung open.

"My boy!" shouted a portly, balding man who threw his arms open as if to give me a hug. The pit stains under the sleeves of his Hawaiian shirt and the bead of sweat forming just underneath the gold chain that hung down on his half-exposed chest both suggested I shouldn't accept. It was just a gesture on his behalf anyway. The two heavies who entered the room behind him reminded me just who I was dealing with.

"Jimmy," I said, eyeing the two brutes with caution. Jimmy took up a spot on the bed next to me, shuffling my hand away with his hip. "I trust everything came through on the payment front from Louie?"

He waved a hand through the air. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it! You and me, we're square. Mary said you treated her well enough and I trust she did the same to you, eh?" He winked. It was gross.

"I had fun," I shrugged. It had only been a week ago that I was out on my yacht with Mary, one of Jimmy's girls, and Maddy, one of Louie's. With  everything that's happened this weekend, it feels like it could have been a year ago.

"Good, good, good." Jimmy patted me on the shoulder. I winced a little as the contact vibrated its way through my whole body down to my legs which had taken the worst of the impact from the monster truck. For his part, Jimmy didn't seem to even notice my pain. He fell quiet, as if something was weighing on him.

Beep.

"You alright there, Jimmy?" The irony of asking that while I was in a hospital wasn't lost on me.

"Mary can be a little… nuts. Good kid, but… you know." I didn't. Moreover, I was also a little concerned that he's still talking about this girl. Did something happen to her? Does he think I did it? Shit, I hope she hasn't tested positive for something. Arcadia, Jacki O'Lantern's truck, then some sort of VD - not the kind of three-way I was hoping for when it came to that girl. "Sometimes people like that  they just need a little guidance. A soft hand. Someone to look out for them."

"Good thing she has you then." He grunted some form of acknowledgement. "Where are you going with this?"

"Do you remember when you and I first met? You were half-naked in New Orleans, soaking wet, and fleeing from one of the Chinamen." A faint smile appeared on his face. I think one crept onto mine too. Jimmy's being kind when he says 'half-naked'. It was the bottom half that was bare.

"I wouldn't call it fleeing…"

Jimmy's grin widened as he turned to me and cocked an eyebrow. "He had a gun, while you had…"

"My nuts flapping in the wind?"

Spit flew from Jimmy's mouth as he let loose a laugh from the belly.

Beep.

"Those little raisins?"

"It was wet and cold!"

"Mmm… that it was, that it was." He grew quiet again. Knowing Jimmy as I have l these years, it was….unnerving.

I tried to break whatever tension he was feeling. "Did I ever tell you that I wound up meeting that guy again?" That did enough to pique his interest. "He was Chan's cousin."

"That I did not know."

"It's cool though, Chan hated him anyway and loved that I had 'dishonoured him' - his words - by banging his wife. Even said he'd have him offed if I agreed to marry the broad. Still not sure if he was joking or not..."p/red]

Jimmy just smiled and nodded.

This was odd.

[red]"Jimmy…"

"This is not good, kid." He slid off the bed and took a couple of steps towards the window. I didn't say anything, and after a short moment, he looked back at me over his shoulder. "Look at you there. You can't even walk."

"I can, it's just–"

"This wrestling thing…" He cut me off. "You're not exactly setting the world on fire, Kieran. I don't get it. What are you trying to accomplish? You have so much promise with us. Look at what you've done. Back when we met I would have killed that Chinaman friend of yours. Louie and I hadn't spoken in years. Mario even longer. But now you want to wrestle again? Why?"

"I…" It was hard to explain. Hard for me to even understand myself. When that shaggy-haired cunt who calls himself ALIAS started taking my name in vain, my attention was on the industry again. And from there I just couldn't shake the thought.

I had made a lot of money doing what I had been doing. It certainly wasn't glamorous work. A big part of why I wasn't too concerned about what Arcadia really was - and let's face it, I did suspect - was that I had been in enough holes in the ground to not really be scared of the prospect anymore. I was good at what I did. But in wrestling? I was winning enough, but nothing like I should be.

Nothing like I used to be.

"Did you hear about the others from your little island getaway?" He was referring to Arcadia. "A number of them got little black boxes at the end. Want to know what was in then? Invitations. They got invited to another competition. But I look around this hospital room and I don't see one for you. I see no championship either. I see nothing to show for your work other than two broken legs as shrivelled up as your balls." I see him take a deep breath, and he approaches the side of the bed once more. "Kid, I like you. I want you to be happy. I gave you Mary, and I'll do it again. Any of the women, any of the money, any of the booze. Yours. I've let you follow your dream here and I always will, for your happiness. But this… the more you wind up like this, the more you wind up failing… the less I want to give you."

"I've got it under contro–"

"Don't. That's what they all say." Again he cuts me off. "You've heard it. You've been there when they've said it. Anybody who finishes those words doesn't have control over their bowels let alone their life. They shit themselves and they shit themselves and then they shit themselves some more. And they shit all over anything and everything in their vicinity. I don't want to be shat on, kid. Don't shit on me."

His eyes don't blink as he stares into my own.

He's right.

I groan as I push myself up off the bed, controlling my own weight as I sit up.

Beep.

"I'm not going to shit on you, Jimmy."

He holds that eye contact with me for a little longer.

Slowly, he accepts my claim with a nod.

"Then you better have a plan. And it better be a better plan than the island one! We were waiting in Maldives to pull you out, but never got the signal." Arcadia again. I had him and his goon squad on standby in case anything went sour (which it inevitably was going to) but never got a chance to put in the call.

"I'll come up with something." But what?

"You're no young 21-year-old champion anymore, you know…"

That… that's it!

Thirteen years ago I won the XWF World Championship, and two months later became the XWF Universal Champion in a title vs. title match. I would wind up losing the Universal Championship to Drake Komodo, and though I later won another shot I was never given, Raion Kido has made it clear that he won't come to Madness to put the title on the line. And that matters to me. I want to build this brand with my name plastered all over it, not jump to the same old shit I did within my first three months of the business.

But there is another idea in there…

Jimmy sees the wheels turning inside my brain. "Do you think you could find something for me?" I ask him.

"What?"

"The original XWF World Heavyweight Championship."

Yeah…this idea will do.

Say what you will about me, but never doubt that I know how to make a fucking headline. This is a business after all, and I am good at what I do.

Beep.

Beep.

Fucking beep.[/i][/i]]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46723 Tue, 15 Aug 2023 18:37:48 -0700 Elijah Copeland]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46723 Elijah's mind wasn't where it should be. The thoughts that run through his mind after what happened earlier will forever change the way that he is. Everyone saw that he was robbed by the Bing Bong Twinz. Elijah knows that he's been having tough luck, but this is the worse feeling that he could feel at this point. Elijah is leaning against the wall, slides his back down, and plants his butt on the ground. He took off his elbow pad and throws it. He then put his hands around the back of his neck to take everything in.

Elijah just shakes his head as everything that he believed is going down. How can everything that he dreamed of just go down the shitter? He wanted answers that he probably knows that he won't get it. His journey with Marie is falling, and he doesn't want that to happen, but how can he stop it? This wasn't supposed to be the way that Elijah wanted. He wanted to get his chance back at the championship, but that didn't work because of the Bing bong Twinzz.

Elijah has never felt this low, but everyone has always said that things will get bad before it gets better. That is true, and Elijah needs to figure out what to do if he wants to get better. But what will that be? What can he do to get better and get back to the top where he rightfully belongs? He stands up and turns around to look at himself in the mirror. He plants his hands on the wall and spoke to himself in the mirror.

“Time for a change. What happened tonight will never happen again. I don't care how long it'll take, but from now on, everyone is the enemy.”

He looks down at the ground and saw black eyeliner. He closes his eyes before opening them again. He looks at his hair and in between.

“Sooner or later, everyone will feel the same pain I'm feeling.”

He roughly draws an X on the mirror before punching it and shattering it into a million pieces.]]> Elijah's mind wasn't where it should be. The thoughts that run through his mind after what happened earlier will forever change the way that he is. Everyone saw that he was robbed by the Bing Bong Twinz. Elijah knows that he's been having tough luck, but this is the worse feeling that he could feel at this point. Elijah is leaning against the wall, slides his back down, and plants his butt on the ground. He took off his elbow pad and throws it. He then put his hands around the back of his neck to take everything in.

Elijah just shakes his head as everything that he believed is going down. How can everything that he dreamed of just go down the shitter? He wanted answers that he probably knows that he won't get it. His journey with Marie is falling, and he doesn't want that to happen, but how can he stop it? This wasn't supposed to be the way that Elijah wanted. He wanted to get his chance back at the championship, but that didn't work because of the Bing bong Twinzz.

Elijah has never felt this low, but everyone has always said that things will get bad before it gets better. That is true, and Elijah needs to figure out what to do if he wants to get better. But what will that be? What can he do to get better and get back to the top where he rightfully belongs? He stands up and turns around to look at himself in the mirror. He plants his hands on the wall and spoke to himself in the mirror.

“Time for a change. What happened tonight will never happen again. I don't care how long it'll take, but from now on, everyone is the enemy.”

He looks down at the ground and saw black eyeliner. He closes his eyes before opening them again. He looks at his hair and in between.

“Sooner or later, everyone will feel the same pain I'm feeling.”

He roughly draws an X on the mirror before punching it and shattering it into a million pieces.]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46686 Tue, 08 Aug 2023 21:54:18 -0700 Myra Rivers]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46686
January 30, 2023

It was one of the most stressful nights of my career, for obvious reasons. I was in the locker room alone looking at the three championship belts that I already had up to this point knowing that I was about to fight for a fourth… and to be a quadruple champion. I can still remember all the armchair quarterbacks talking about who was going to win that match.

Ross this, SIlver that.

Holden Ross is the one with all the momentum in the world, I would hear.

Sierra Silver is the one that should’ve been the face of Madness from the start, said another one of those ‘armchair quarterbacks.

If it wasn’t praise for my opponents, it was criticism of me.

Myra’s just the third wheel.

Myra is only here after a fluke ladder match win at We Are Relentless.

Myra did nothing but choke when it mattered the most in SIn City Wrestling so why would this be any different?

Myra doesn’t have what it takes to be a brand leader.

And I’m not going to lie. That type of stuff did weigh in on my mind. I didn’t care so much for all the hype that was surrounding my opponents. But the scars of Sin City Wrestling, even though I had been doing great since I walked out of that company, even though I was a triple champion up to this point, hadn’t fully healed. I was still experiencing them, even at this point.

I can still remember all of the anger I was feeling on the day I left that place knowing full well that they didn’t give two fucks about me and were just happy for me to take up space and be the stepping stone for other people.

“I don’t care what anyone else says…” my sister Adrianna told me while we hung out in the locker room that night. She, her husband and her twin daughters joined me on the trip considering that a trip to an ocean island during the middle of winter was too good to pass up. “..you want this a hell of a lot more than your two opponents combined.”

“That’s true…” I said with a sigh. “But, as you know, passion isn’t a guaranteed win and it sure as hell isn’t always enough. I wanted it more than Amber, Mikah and Roxi, but that didn’t matter did it?”

Adrianna merely rolls her eyes and laughs.

“Fuck them all. Are any of them here, Myra?”

“They’re not.”

“Exactly. Look, I know that you went through a bunch of shit over at that other place, but this is your night. If there is one night where you can make them realize what they missed out on with you, then this is it. You have to remember that after you left, you were written off. You had pundits and pussies hiding behind their keyboards saying that you were about to collapse and that without Sin City Wrestling, you were about to be nothing.”

I could only chuckle for a bit, in bemusement over the fact that they turned out to be way wrong on that front.

“Right now, I feel like I am the glue that holds Madness together…” I admitted. I was certainly feeling a slight burden on my shoulders. The burden was light enough to where it didn’t feel like it was overwhelming for me, but also heavy enough for me to notice. “...I can’t let that title go to Sierra Silver or Holden Ross. I can’t. Neither one would be the best thing for this show. They’ve been feuding, so seemingly everything is about them and I’m just the ‘woman that failed to break the ceiling in SCW’ in comparison.”

“You’re doing it again, Myra…” Adrianna said with an annoyance in her voice. “I understand that healing takes time and I totally get that eight months away from that toxic place isn’t exactly long enough to fully heal, but if you’re going to win this match, you’re just going to have to forget about all that. And you know, I worry about your odds of winning this if I am the one that has to be telling you something you should already know. You know how much I give a shit about your opponents? Zero! It’s not like either one has done anything to make me give a shit about them. They’re just names, Myra. They’re names that are bigger than they actually are because of reputations in other places but other than winning stuff to qualify for this match, what have they actually… you know… done?”

“I’m sorry… you’re right.” I snapped out of my own pain at this point. “Still, I can’t let either of them win. Holden Ross only gives a crap about himself and the guy would drive this brand straight into the ground. Sierra Silver? This is just a side project to her and really… I don’t know why she’s even a big deal anyway. There’s not a damn thing about her that I find special and she’s sat on her laurels, barely doing a damn thing for months.”

“If you want my opinion, I think they’re both overrated. Oh man, it’s a good thing we’re not on the air right now talking on my podcast. Hot takes aplenty! Look, we both know that when it comes to what’s best for Madness, it’s you. We both know that the best thing that can happen to the IDL Cham…”

Adrianna stops in confusion the moment that the title name gets brought up.

“...I…D…L… that’s the name of the title?”

“Yeah, it is.”

Adrianna lets out an exasperated sigh.

“...what in the FUCK does IDL stand for? Did someone in the clerical department mean to put “IDK” as in I Don’t Know, and they fucked it up and did “IDL” as a typo instead? No SERIOUSLY, what the FUCK does that STUPID name stand for?”

“Honestly? I have no idea…”

“Like this whole MILF of Madness shit isn’t embarrassing enough… and you need to start speaking up about that. But, that’s besides the point. Listen, you’re winning tonight, okay? You’re better than you’ve ever been. You want this a hell of a lot more than the other two do. You’ve learned from what’s gone wrong before…”

Adrianna sits down next to me and even grabs my hand. We lock eyes at this point.

“... I understand that your experiences at Shit City Wrestling…”

“Adri…”

“Well they’re shit, Myra…” she says as she rolls her eyes. “...and I understand that your experiences there hurt like hell. I understand that for a while, hearing garbage like ‘you’ll never be enough’, being mocked for not breaking the ceiling over and over again, a NOBODY like Todd Williams trying to bury you for no reason over something so trivial and stupid… dick sucking douchebag…, and that two faced hypocrite cunt Roxi Johnson slandering you to the point where you had a legitimate case for a lawsuit against her along with the higher ups there feeding commentary lies about you about how you had confidence issues even though you moved past them… yeah… I get that it’s all painful. But you are not any less of a person, any less of a wrestler and hell, any less of a mother, because of it. It just… I hate to say it… it was never meant to be there…”

“No Adrianna, it wasn’t…” I said without hesitation.

“But who needs them? Their fault fo missing out! So what if you were never the Bombshells World Champion. When you win tonight, you’ll have accomplished something much more worthy: four title belts at once. So yeah, let the armchair quarterbacks be up Holden Ross’s ass… let the incels online jerk themselves off over how ‘great’ Sierra Silver is. You just let it roll off of your back, okay? This is one of those times where believing is what’s key. If anything… remember that one thing your mother wrote to you in that letter over 30 years ago… about fighting until the end?”

“Of course…” I said, having myself a brief moment of shock at the reminder that the 31st anniversary of my mother’s tragic passing from brain cancer passed less than a week prior. “I’m done allowing people to tell me that I don’t deserve something, or that I can’t do this, can’t do that. I’m approaching that garbage with a zero tolerance attitude from now on. I’m just so sick of people in this business thinking they can label and define me and that shit that happened at the end of my run at ‘that other place’ is the last time I let ANYONE try to define me again.”

I was feeling that fire in my heart at this point. For all of the horrible disappointments that I had gone through at the other place, I felt, going into this match tonight, that this WASN’T going to be like those times. I know that I had a minority of people believing in me tonight, but that was the furthest thing from my mind. As long as I believed, that was all that mattered. It’s a mantra that through thick and thin, I’ve stuck with for my entire career. I was going through some thoughts, creating a bit of an awkward silence for a moment

“Not today…” I thought to myself in reference to all the bullshit that I was dealing with before. “Not today… and never again…”

“Everything okay, sis?” Adrianna asked me, finally having a mellow moment after throwing so much shade toward my former employers throughout much of the conversation. I could only smile at the question, knowing that I was feeling perfectly fine.

“I’m defining MY legacy tonight, that’s what’s going to happen.”

I took a deep breath as we both stood up and we shared an embrace. Madness was about to come on the air and I had to walk out of the room to think about the promo I was going to do leading up to the match.

All those heartbreaks…

Experiencing that awful feeling of being knocked down, only to get up, only to get knocked down again.

Yet I knew before the bell rang that this was finally going to be the night I wasn’t going to get knocked down…

That FINALLY… I was going to change the narrative and break that fucking ceiling…

“Reputation” of my opponents on social media be damned!

And when I pinned Sierra to the mat for the three count?

That’s exactly what I did…

At last…

“I've been working my whole life
And now it's do or die
I am invincible, unbreakable
Unstoppable, unshakable
They knock me down, I get up again
I am the champion, you're gon' know my name
You can't hurt me now, I can't feel the pain
I was made for this, yeah, I was born to win
I am the champion”

Lyrics from “The Champion” by Carrie Underwood

After Madness aired…

Joy and fulfillment swept my heart as I held the then-IDL Championship. I knew that what I had done, not just winning the title, but becoming a four-belt champion altogether, was something that was truly special, something that I was never going to forget. I looked back at the three titles that I already had coming into tonight, then back at the one that I just won.

The happiness and the reality of it all was still sinking in for me and knowing that I FINALLY proved that I could be the face of any wrestling brand, even if the IDL title was considered a top brand title and not necessarily a world title at this point, was enough for me to look in the mirror, feel the greatest pride I felt in my career up to that point, and say the one truth that I knew I could express…

“I was ALWAYS enough…”

Suddenly? That old pain from before had become more irrelevant than ever…]]>
January 30, 2023

It was one of the most stressful nights of my career, for obvious reasons. I was in the locker room alone looking at the three championship belts that I already had up to this point knowing that I was about to fight for a fourth… and to be a quadruple champion. I can still remember all the armchair quarterbacks talking about who was going to win that match.

Ross this, SIlver that.

Holden Ross is the one with all the momentum in the world, I would hear.

Sierra Silver is the one that should’ve been the face of Madness from the start, said another one of those ‘armchair quarterbacks.

If it wasn’t praise for my opponents, it was criticism of me.

Myra’s just the third wheel.

Myra is only here after a fluke ladder match win at We Are Relentless.

Myra did nothing but choke when it mattered the most in SIn City Wrestling so why would this be any different?

Myra doesn’t have what it takes to be a brand leader.

And I’m not going to lie. That type of stuff did weigh in on my mind. I didn’t care so much for all the hype that was surrounding my opponents. But the scars of Sin City Wrestling, even though I had been doing great since I walked out of that company, even though I was a triple champion up to this point, hadn’t fully healed. I was still experiencing them, even at this point.

I can still remember all of the anger I was feeling on the day I left that place knowing full well that they didn’t give two fucks about me and were just happy for me to take up space and be the stepping stone for other people.

“I don’t care what anyone else says…” my sister Adrianna told me while we hung out in the locker room that night. She, her husband and her twin daughters joined me on the trip considering that a trip to an ocean island during the middle of winter was too good to pass up. “..you want this a hell of a lot more than your two opponents combined.”

“That’s true…” I said with a sigh. “But, as you know, passion isn’t a guaranteed win and it sure as hell isn’t always enough. I wanted it more than Amber, Mikah and Roxi, but that didn’t matter did it?”

Adrianna merely rolls her eyes and laughs.

“Fuck them all. Are any of them here, Myra?”

“They’re not.”

“Exactly. Look, I know that you went through a bunch of shit over at that other place, but this is your night. If there is one night where you can make them realize what they missed out on with you, then this is it. You have to remember that after you left, you were written off. You had pundits and pussies hiding behind their keyboards saying that you were about to collapse and that without Sin City Wrestling, you were about to be nothing.”

I could only chuckle for a bit, in bemusement over the fact that they turned out to be way wrong on that front.

“Right now, I feel like I am the glue that holds Madness together…” I admitted. I was certainly feeling a slight burden on my shoulders. The burden was light enough to where it didn’t feel like it was overwhelming for me, but also heavy enough for me to notice. “...I can’t let that title go to Sierra Silver or Holden Ross. I can’t. Neither one would be the best thing for this show. They’ve been feuding, so seemingly everything is about them and I’m just the ‘woman that failed to break the ceiling in SCW’ in comparison.”

“You’re doing it again, Myra…” Adrianna said with an annoyance in her voice. “I understand that healing takes time and I totally get that eight months away from that toxic place isn’t exactly long enough to fully heal, but if you’re going to win this match, you’re just going to have to forget about all that. And you know, I worry about your odds of winning this if I am the one that has to be telling you something you should already know. You know how much I give a shit about your opponents? Zero! It’s not like either one has done anything to make me give a shit about them. They’re just names, Myra. They’re names that are bigger than they actually are because of reputations in other places but other than winning stuff to qualify for this match, what have they actually… you know… done?”

“I’m sorry… you’re right.” I snapped out of my own pain at this point. “Still, I can’t let either of them win. Holden Ross only gives a crap about himself and the guy would drive this brand straight into the ground. Sierra Silver? This is just a side project to her and really… I don’t know why she’s even a big deal anyway. There’s not a damn thing about her that I find special and she’s sat on her laurels, barely doing a damn thing for months.”

“If you want my opinion, I think they’re both overrated. Oh man, it’s a good thing we’re not on the air right now talking on my podcast. Hot takes aplenty! Look, we both know that when it comes to what’s best for Madness, it’s you. We both know that the best thing that can happen to the IDL Cham…”

Adrianna stops in confusion the moment that the title name gets brought up.

“...I…D…L… that’s the name of the title?”

“Yeah, it is.”

Adrianna lets out an exasperated sigh.

“...what in the FUCK does IDL stand for? Did someone in the clerical department mean to put “IDK” as in I Don’t Know, and they fucked it up and did “IDL” as a typo instead? No SERIOUSLY, what the FUCK does that STUPID name stand for?”

“Honestly? I have no idea…”

“Like this whole MILF of Madness shit isn’t embarrassing enough… and you need to start speaking up about that. But, that’s besides the point. Listen, you’re winning tonight, okay? You’re better than you’ve ever been. You want this a hell of a lot more than the other two do. You’ve learned from what’s gone wrong before…”

Adrianna sits down next to me and even grabs my hand. We lock eyes at this point.

“... I understand that your experiences at Shit City Wrestling…”

“Adri…”

“Well they’re shit, Myra…” she says as she rolls her eyes. “...and I understand that your experiences there hurt like hell. I understand that for a while, hearing garbage like ‘you’ll never be enough’, being mocked for not breaking the ceiling over and over again, a NOBODY like Todd Williams trying to bury you for no reason over something so trivial and stupid… dick sucking douchebag…, and that two faced hypocrite cunt Roxi Johnson slandering you to the point where you had a legitimate case for a lawsuit against her along with the higher ups there feeding commentary lies about you about how you had confidence issues even though you moved past them… yeah… I get that it’s all painful. But you are not any less of a person, any less of a wrestler and hell, any less of a mother, because of it. It just… I hate to say it… it was never meant to be there…”

“No Adrianna, it wasn’t…” I said without hesitation.

“But who needs them? Their fault fo missing out! So what if you were never the Bombshells World Champion. When you win tonight, you’ll have accomplished something much more worthy: four title belts at once. So yeah, let the armchair quarterbacks be up Holden Ross’s ass… let the incels online jerk themselves off over how ‘great’ Sierra Silver is. You just let it roll off of your back, okay? This is one of those times where believing is what’s key. If anything… remember that one thing your mother wrote to you in that letter over 30 years ago… about fighting until the end?”

“Of course…” I said, having myself a brief moment of shock at the reminder that the 31st anniversary of my mother’s tragic passing from brain cancer passed less than a week prior. “I’m done allowing people to tell me that I don’t deserve something, or that I can’t do this, can’t do that. I’m approaching that garbage with a zero tolerance attitude from now on. I’m just so sick of people in this business thinking they can label and define me and that shit that happened at the end of my run at ‘that other place’ is the last time I let ANYONE try to define me again.”

I was feeling that fire in my heart at this point. For all of the horrible disappointments that I had gone through at the other place, I felt, going into this match tonight, that this WASN’T going to be like those times. I know that I had a minority of people believing in me tonight, but that was the furthest thing from my mind. As long as I believed, that was all that mattered. It’s a mantra that through thick and thin, I’ve stuck with for my entire career. I was going through some thoughts, creating a bit of an awkward silence for a moment

“Not today…” I thought to myself in reference to all the bullshit that I was dealing with before. “Not today… and never again…”

“Everything okay, sis?” Adrianna asked me, finally having a mellow moment after throwing so much shade toward my former employers throughout much of the conversation. I could only smile at the question, knowing that I was feeling perfectly fine.

“I’m defining MY legacy tonight, that’s what’s going to happen.”

I took a deep breath as we both stood up and we shared an embrace. Madness was about to come on the air and I had to walk out of the room to think about the promo I was going to do leading up to the match.

All those heartbreaks…

Experiencing that awful feeling of being knocked down, only to get up, only to get knocked down again.

Yet I knew before the bell rang that this was finally going to be the night I wasn’t going to get knocked down…

That FINALLY… I was going to change the narrative and break that fucking ceiling…

“Reputation” of my opponents on social media be damned!

And when I pinned Sierra to the mat for the three count?

That’s exactly what I did…

At last…

“I've been working my whole life
And now it's do or die
I am invincible, unbreakable
Unstoppable, unshakable
They knock me down, I get up again
I am the champion, you're gon' know my name
You can't hurt me now, I can't feel the pain
I was made for this, yeah, I was born to win
I am the champion”

Lyrics from “The Champion” by Carrie Underwood

After Madness aired…

Joy and fulfillment swept my heart as I held the then-IDL Championship. I knew that what I had done, not just winning the title, but becoming a four-belt champion altogether, was something that was truly special, something that I was never going to forget. I looked back at the three titles that I already had coming into tonight, then back at the one that I just won.

The happiness and the reality of it all was still sinking in for me and knowing that I FINALLY proved that I could be the face of any wrestling brand, even if the IDL title was considered a top brand title and not necessarily a world title at this point, was enough for me to look in the mirror, feel the greatest pride I felt in my career up to that point, and say the one truth that I knew I could express…

“I was ALWAYS enough…”

Suddenly? That old pain from before had become more irrelevant than ever…]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46650 Tue, 01 Aug 2023 08:14:49 -0700 Sean Parker]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=46650 The Parker family home in Santa Barbara, California was a sight to behold. The family had been a centerpiece of professional wrestling for over thirty years. Every wall and cabinet was filled with framed stills depicting the careers of Sean and his uncle, Butch, Championship belts from different promotions and generations, trophies, awards you name it. It was the first time in almost a month that Sean had been here since his acrimonious and controversial departure from the Hardcore Wrestling Alliance, the company he had competed in his entire career and that his uncle had inherited ownership of in 2015. 

In the kitchen, Sean’s aunt through marriage, HWA co-CEO, Wisdom, a beautiful, striking woman in her early forties, is preparing dinner. Butch, a muscular behemoth himself standing a whopping 6ft5, still looking in incredible physical condition despite his semi-retired state. Wisdom eyes fleet across to Butch as he chops some vegetables, his mood indicative of the way he is slamming the sharp knife through the capsicum peppers.

“Please be understanding tonight, Butch. This was a big thing for Sean to do, stepping out on his own like this. The last thing he needs is you bringing him down.”

Butch doesn’t respond, engrossed in his mini battle with the vegetables on the chopping board. Wisdom rolls her eyes. She clears her throat loudly in attempt to snare her husband’s attention.

“Excuse me? Am I invisible?”

Butch looks up, as if snapped out of a trance.

“Sorry, did you say something?”

Wisdom’s eyes roll again and she adds a shake of the head to her disappointed visual ensemble.

“I said you need to go easy on Sean tonight!”

A sigh emanates from the Parker patriarch.

“He made a brave decision to go out on his own like this, Butch! For Pete’s sake, he’s been away from HWA for a month and he’s already won a World Championship! I still can’t believe you wouldn’t support him.

“What choice did I have? The premiums were to going to be extortionate to cover him after that injury!”

“Don’t give me that, you know we can afford it! He had that injury 10 years ago! He worked his ass off in rehab, all those surgeries, the sessions, the therapy! And how do you reward him? Dark matches! Mid-card matches! Putting over Academy graduates!”

“He needed to pay his dues! That’s how I learned!”

“He’s 25, Butch! Not some green-as-grass rookie who doesn’t know how to do a vertical suplex. He’s a generational talent, Butch and you squandered it out of some bullshit sense of protecting him!”

“What if he got hurt, Wis? Hmm? What if something went wrong, he’d be back to square one!”

“Don’t give me that, Butch! You know as well as I do there’s more chance of him getting struck by lightning than getting hurt again. We had the chance to build the company around him and Matt. They could've had a historic rivalry over the World Championship but you wanted to keep him in the shadows.”

“I’m not arguing about this anymore, what’s done is done. He’s moved on.”

“Yes, he has and you will NOT hold that against him! He’s on the verge of making a huge name for himself and he’s done without your help and hindrance. You will be supportive.”

There is a long moment of silence before Butch reluctantly nods in acknowledgement. The sound of a car can then be heard pulling up outside. Wisdom gives Butch one more look.

“Be nice!”

Outside, Sean has pulled up in his red and black Camaro RS. He looks out the windshield at the house in front of him. He’d had many happy memories here, family dinners, birthdays, Christmases, Thanksgivings. Tonight was different though. He hadn’t spoken to his uncle in a month and so much had happened. Did he even know what he had done in those four weeks? His World Championship win in WCW? His debut for Zion? His appearance on Madness for XWF? He sighs deeply. Sean’s girlfriend, Michelle is sat next to him in the passenger seat. She notices his anxious demeanor and places a comforting hand on top of his.

“Remember, be nice tonight, Sean. Please don’t argue or let what’s going on with you and Butch ruin the evening. David and Evina have been dying to see you again, the last thing they want to see is their dad and big cousin fighting.”

Sean exhales deeply through his nose and nods. He brings Michelle’s hand up and kisses it.

“I know. It still hurts though, Shell. I’ve done so much, proved so many doubters wrong. I’m World Champion for the first time and I doubt he even cares.”

“He’ll care babe, you know he will. Please, just enjoy the night. Play some video games with your cousins, tell them some war stories and have a nice dinner.”

Sean sighs again.

“You know, it was incredible being in Manhattan at Madness. Thad really knows what he’s doing there, you know. That roster is stacked with talent. I can’t wait to get in the ring there properly.”

Michelle smiles, seeing the passion and excitement in her boyfriend’s face.

“See,” she says warmly, “this is how I want to see you, babe. Excited, passionate! Hang on to that.”

“I’ll try.”

They lean towards each other and share a kiss before climbing out the car and approaching the front door. Sean and Michelle walk in. Even though things had been tense, members of the family and close friends were always permitted to come in without knocking.

“Hello?” Sean says loudly as he and Michelle take their coats off. “Anyone home?” 

The sound of two smaller pairs of feet running through catch their attention.

“SEAN!” 

Sean’s little cousins, 6-year old David and 10-year old Evina toddle through from the den and jump at Sean who can’t help but smile as he bends down and hugs them tightly. 

“Hey guys! Have you been good?”

“Yeah, we have! We missed you!”

“Aw, I missed you too!”

The kids give warm cuddles to Michelle too. She and Sean had only been dating a few months but with her being an active wrestler on the HWA roster and trained by Sean’s aunt, she was already practically family. Wisdom and Butch materialize from the kitchen, an apron still wrapped around her. She beams warmly, extending her arms out. Sean and Michelle both embrace her warmly.

“So good to see you guys!” 

She kisses both Sean and Michelle on the cheeks.

“How was your drive?”

“So-so,” Michelle replies, “Sean flew back from Manhattan this morning so we had to leave early to beat the afternoon traffic.”

Butch and Sean look at each other for the first time in a month. Wisdom and Michelle exchange worried glances. Butch extends his hand out.

“Good to see you, Sean.”

Sean looks at Butch’s hand and catches a subtle nod from Michelle. He looks back and shakes Butch’s hand.

“You too, Uncle Butch.”

“I hear congratulations are in order. World Championship in your first pay-per-view appearance. Impressive. Is that the title there?”

Sean’s eyes follow Butch’s gaze as he looks down at the leather duffel bag.

“Thanks,” Sean replies. “And yeah, though the kids might want to see it along with a couple of little gifts for them.”

“Why don’t you all get comfortable in the living room,” Wisdom suggests, “Dinner won’t be long, hope you’re both hungry.”

“I’ll help,” Michelle chimes in, following Wisdom into the kitchen. Meanwhile, David and Evina are unzipping Sean’s duffel bag, raking through it. David pulls out the WCW World Championship, struggling to lift it up.

“Wow! Is this your belt?”

Sean smiles as he lifts the belt up and places it over his little cousin’s shoulder.

“It sure is, buddy. You look much cooler in it than I do though.”

The Parker family living room emanates a cozy ambiance, warmly lit by soft lamps. Wrestling posters and memorabilia adorn the walls, a testament to the family's deep-rooted passion for the sport. He sits on the comfortable leather couch, fully immersed in a video game, while his young cousins, 6-year-old David and 10-year-old Evina, excitedly surround him, eager for his attention.

In the kitchen, Michelle and Wisdom are putting the finishing touches on dinner. 

“Well, that was better than I expected,” Michelle admits, a tone of surprise contouring through her voice.

“Butch has been warned to keep it civil,” Wisdom assures her. We want Sean to feel loved and welcomed. We’re so proud of what he’s done.

“Thank you, Wis,” Michelle smiles. “He won’t admit it, but he’s hurting so much that Butch couldn’t see him win that title.”

“He did watch it. He’s watched every single match he’s had. He cried when he won that World Title but both of them are too stubborn to talk about this properly.”

Back in the living room, the evening continues to unfold. The room is filled with laughter and cheers. Sean, affectionately called "Cuz" by his younger cousins, showcases some wrestling moves, playfully making David and Evina his wrestling apprentices, eliciting squeals of joy from the kids. Butch watches stoically from afar.

About ten minutes later, Wisdom calls them all through to the dining room as they sit down to dinner. They all begin to eat.
 
“So, Sean,” Wisdom starts, breaking the silence. “Tell us about your adventures in the wild world of independent wrestling!”

“It’s been….great, thanks Aunt Wisdom. Obviously WCW kept me busy, it was very um…different, let’s put it that way.”

“And you won the World belt in WCW, right?” Evina asks, in awe.

Sean beams.

“You bet, I did, Eevee! 

“What did you do?!” David asks. “How do you win it?”

“Well, I picked up my opponent and hit her with one of my finishing moves!”

David and Evina exchange impressed glances, wide-eyed and filled with admiration for their wrestling champion cousin.

“And Michelle said you just got back from Manhattan this morning? Were you wrestling there?” Wisdom asks.

“Not exactly. I was on a show for XWF Madness. I’m making my in-ring debut soon but I made my first appearance there. I’m really, really excited about this place.”

Butch’s attention peaks for the first time in the conversation.

“XWF?” He asks. “Xtreme Wrestling Federation?”

“Um, yeah, is that a problem?”

“Sebastian Duke’s old stomping ground. Be careful. That man is nothing but trouble.”

“He’s dead anyway. It’s his son that manages the brand I’m going to be wrestling on.”

“Oh yeah, wee Thad? How’s he getting on?”

“Not so wee anymore. I’ve only known him for a week but he seems like a good guy. Good eye for the business. I’m excited for what he’s got in store for this brand on XWF, he’s got a clear vision for me which is always nice.

Michelle kicks Sean’s shin under the table at his backhanded comment. Butch isn’t ignorant to it and he catches Wisdom’s eye whose stare practically bores into his skull.”

“Well, as long as you know what you’re doing. You always had that spark, that unique edge.”

“Thanks, Uncle Butch. I'll forever be grateful for the opportunities HWA gave me. But I couldn’t be held down anymore. There’s no way I could’ve achieved what I’ve done so far if I’d stuck around.”

“Sean, you would’ve gotten your chance,” Butch suddenly says. “Not everyone gets to be handed things.”

“I didn’t ask to be handed anything, Butch,” Sean retorts. “If you’d just given me some creative freedom to be myself and show you what I’m capable of, you’d have seen I didn’t need to be handed anything, I would’ve shown I deserved it. Things aren’t the same as they when you were my age, Butch! The young guys don’t do the bag-carrying or coffee runs! When you ride in the Kentucky Derby, you don’t leave your prized stallion in the stable, Butch!”

“You’re seriously not quoting Star Trek to me…”

“My point stands! I could’ve done great things for you in HWA but you chose the bureaucratic route. You chose the cheap way out. And now I’m showing the world exactly what I’m capable of!”

The room falls silent as the weight of their conversation hangs in the air. Sensing the tension, Wisdom intervenes gracefully, trying to steer the dialogue towards a more peaceful direction.

“Let's remember that we're here as a family, supporting and loving each other, no matter the differences.”

Michelle nods in agreement.

“Yes, tonight is about cherishing our bond and memories together.”

Butch gazes at Sean, a mix of emotions playing on his face. He takes a moment to collect his thoughts, realizing that Sean's decision to leave HWA came from a place of ambition and growth.

“Sean, I might not fully understand your choices, but I respect your journey. You're my nephew, and I'll always be proud of you, no matter where you go.”

There’s another wave of silence. Sean doesn’t respond. Michelle nudges him again under the table, inclining her head in a gesturing fashion. He takes a deep breath but simply says:

“Thanks.”

As dinner continues, the atmosphere gradually lightens. Wisdom and Michelle initiate conversations about past family vacations, cherished memories, and even some playful teasing that brings laughter to the table. Sean banters with his younger cousins, creating a beautiful sense of camaraderie. As the night winds down, Sean says his goodbyes, hugging each family member tightly.

“We're always here for you, Sean. Remember that.”

Sean smiles.

“I know, Aunt Wisdom. I won't forget.”

Sean leaves with Michelle, feeling a semblance of a sense of acceptance and love from his family but still not fully convinced of his uncle’s genuine feelings about his career choices. He looks forward to what his career is going to bring him, especially as he ponders on the possibilities that await him in XWF. He looks down at the WCW World Championship belt in his hand as he places it respectfully back in the duffel he brought.

“Maybe it’s time we got you some friends to keep you company.” 

Sean smirks as he and Michelle climb into their car as the scene fades to black.]]> The Parker family home in Santa Barbara, California was a sight to behold. The family had been a centerpiece of professional wrestling for over thirty years. Every wall and cabinet was filled with framed stills depicting the careers of Sean and his uncle, Butch, Championship belts from different promotions and generations, trophies, awards you name it. It was the first time in almost a month that Sean had been here since his acrimonious and controversial departure from the Hardcore Wrestling Alliance, the company he had competed in his entire career and that his uncle had inherited ownership of in 2015. 

In the kitchen, Sean’s aunt through marriage, HWA co-CEO, Wisdom, a beautiful, striking woman in her early forties, is preparing dinner. Butch, a muscular behemoth himself standing a whopping 6ft5, still looking in incredible physical condition despite his semi-retired state. Wisdom eyes fleet across to Butch as he chops some vegetables, his mood indicative of the way he is slamming the sharp knife through the capsicum peppers.

“Please be understanding tonight, Butch. This was a big thing for Sean to do, stepping out on his own like this. The last thing he needs is you bringing him down.”

Butch doesn’t respond, engrossed in his mini battle with the vegetables on the chopping board. Wisdom rolls her eyes. She clears her throat loudly in attempt to snare her husband’s attention.

“Excuse me? Am I invisible?”

Butch looks up, as if snapped out of a trance.

“Sorry, did you say something?”

Wisdom’s eyes roll again and she adds a shake of the head to her disappointed visual ensemble.

“I said you need to go easy on Sean tonight!”

A sigh emanates from the Parker patriarch.

“He made a brave decision to go out on his own like this, Butch! For Pete’s sake, he’s been away from HWA for a month and he’s already won a World Championship! I still can’t believe you wouldn’t support him.

“What choice did I have? The premiums were to going to be extortionate to cover him after that injury!”

“Don’t give me that, you know we can afford it! He had that injury 10 years ago! He worked his ass off in rehab, all those surgeries, the sessions, the therapy! And how do you reward him? Dark matches! Mid-card matches! Putting over Academy graduates!”

“He needed to pay his dues! That’s how I learned!”

“He’s 25, Butch! Not some green-as-grass rookie who doesn’t know how to do a vertical suplex. He’s a generational talent, Butch and you squandered it out of some bullshit sense of protecting him!”

“What if he got hurt, Wis? Hmm? What if something went wrong, he’d be back to square one!”

“Don’t give me that, Butch! You know as well as I do there’s more chance of him getting struck by lightning than getting hurt again. We had the chance to build the company around him and Matt. They could've had a historic rivalry over the World Championship but you wanted to keep him in the shadows.”

“I’m not arguing about this anymore, what’s done is done. He’s moved on.”

“Yes, he has and you will NOT hold that against him! He’s on the verge of making a huge name for himself and he’s done without your help and hindrance. You will be supportive.”

There is a long moment of silence before Butch reluctantly nods in acknowledgement. The sound of a car can then be heard pulling up outside. Wisdom gives Butch one more look.

“Be nice!”

Outside, Sean has pulled up in his red and black Camaro RS. He looks out the windshield at the house in front of him. He’d had many happy memories here, family dinners, birthdays, Christmases, Thanksgivings. Tonight was different though. He hadn’t spoken to his uncle in a month and so much had happened. Did he even know what he had done in those four weeks? His World Championship win in WCW? His debut for Zion? His appearance on Madness for XWF? He sighs deeply. Sean’s girlfriend, Michelle is sat next to him in the passenger seat. She notices his anxious demeanor and places a comforting hand on top of his.

“Remember, be nice tonight, Sean. Please don’t argue or let what’s going on with you and Butch ruin the evening. David and Evina have been dying to see you again, the last thing they want to see is their dad and big cousin fighting.”

Sean exhales deeply through his nose and nods. He brings Michelle’s hand up and kisses it.

“I know. It still hurts though, Shell. I’ve done so much, proved so many doubters wrong. I’m World Champion for the first time and I doubt he even cares.”

“He’ll care babe, you know he will. Please, just enjoy the night. Play some video games with your cousins, tell them some war stories and have a nice dinner.”

Sean sighs again.

“You know, it was incredible being in Manhattan at Madness. Thad really knows what he’s doing there, you know. That roster is stacked with talent. I can’t wait to get in the ring there properly.”

Michelle smiles, seeing the passion and excitement in her boyfriend’s face.

“See,” she says warmly, “this is how I want to see you, babe. Excited, passionate! Hang on to that.”

“I’ll try.”

They lean towards each other and share a kiss before climbing out the car and approaching the front door. Sean and Michelle walk in. Even though things had been tense, members of the family and close friends were always permitted to come in without knocking.

“Hello?” Sean says loudly as he and Michelle take their coats off. “Anyone home?” 

The sound of two smaller pairs of feet running through catch their attention.

“SEAN!” 

Sean’s little cousins, 6-year old David and 10-year old Evina toddle through from the den and jump at Sean who can’t help but smile as he bends down and hugs them tightly. 

“Hey guys! Have you been good?”

“Yeah, we have! We missed you!”

“Aw, I missed you too!”

The kids give warm cuddles to Michelle too. She and Sean had only been dating a few months but with her being an active wrestler on the HWA roster and trained by Sean’s aunt, she was already practically family. Wisdom and Butch materialize from the kitchen, an apron still wrapped around her. She beams warmly, extending her arms out. Sean and Michelle both embrace her warmly.

“So good to see you guys!” 

She kisses both Sean and Michelle on the cheeks.

“How was your drive?”

“So-so,” Michelle replies, “Sean flew back from Manhattan this morning so we had to leave early to beat the afternoon traffic.”

Butch and Sean look at each other for the first time in a month. Wisdom and Michelle exchange worried glances. Butch extends his hand out.

“Good to see you, Sean.”

Sean looks at Butch’s hand and catches a subtle nod from Michelle. He looks back and shakes Butch’s hand.

“You too, Uncle Butch.”

“I hear congratulations are in order. World Championship in your first pay-per-view appearance. Impressive. Is that the title there?”

Sean’s eyes follow Butch’s gaze as he looks down at the leather duffel bag.

“Thanks,” Sean replies. “And yeah, though the kids might want to see it along with a couple of little gifts for them.”

“Why don’t you all get comfortable in the living room,” Wisdom suggests, “Dinner won’t be long, hope you’re both hungry.”

“I’ll help,” Michelle chimes in, following Wisdom into the kitchen. Meanwhile, David and Evina are unzipping Sean’s duffel bag, raking through it. David pulls out the WCW World Championship, struggling to lift it up.

“Wow! Is this your belt?”

Sean smiles as he lifts the belt up and places it over his little cousin’s shoulder.

“It sure is, buddy. You look much cooler in it than I do though.”

The Parker family living room emanates a cozy ambiance, warmly lit by soft lamps. Wrestling posters and memorabilia adorn the walls, a testament to the family's deep-rooted passion for the sport. He sits on the comfortable leather couch, fully immersed in a video game, while his young cousins, 6-year-old David and 10-year-old Evina, excitedly surround him, eager for his attention.

In the kitchen, Michelle and Wisdom are putting the finishing touches on dinner. 

“Well, that was better than I expected,” Michelle admits, a tone of surprise contouring through her voice.

“Butch has been warned to keep it civil,” Wisdom assures her. We want Sean to feel loved and welcomed. We’re so proud of what he’s done.

“Thank you, Wis,” Michelle smiles. “He won’t admit it, but he’s hurting so much that Butch couldn’t see him win that title.”

“He did watch it. He’s watched every single match he’s had. He cried when he won that World Title but both of them are too stubborn to talk about this properly.”

Back in the living room, the evening continues to unfold. The room is filled with laughter and cheers. Sean, affectionately called "Cuz" by his younger cousins, showcases some wrestling moves, playfully making David and Evina his wrestling apprentices, eliciting squeals of joy from the kids. Butch watches stoically from afar.

About ten minutes later, Wisdom calls them all through to the dining room as they sit down to dinner. They all begin to eat.
 
“So, Sean,” Wisdom starts, breaking the silence. “Tell us about your adventures in the wild world of independent wrestling!”

“It’s been….great, thanks Aunt Wisdom. Obviously WCW kept me busy, it was very um…different, let’s put it that way.”

“And you won the World belt in WCW, right?” Evina asks, in awe.

Sean beams.

“You bet, I did, Eevee! 

“What did you do?!” David asks. “How do you win it?”

“Well, I picked up my opponent and hit her with one of my finishing moves!”

David and Evina exchange impressed glances, wide-eyed and filled with admiration for their wrestling champion cousin.

“And Michelle said you just got back from Manhattan this morning? Were you wrestling there?” Wisdom asks.

“Not exactly. I was on a show for XWF Madness. I’m making my in-ring debut soon but I made my first appearance there. I’m really, really excited about this place.”

Butch’s attention peaks for the first time in the conversation.

“XWF?” He asks. “Xtreme Wrestling Federation?”

“Um, yeah, is that a problem?”

“Sebastian Duke’s old stomping ground. Be careful. That man is nothing but trouble.”

“He’s dead anyway. It’s his son that manages the brand I’m going to be wrestling on.”

“Oh yeah, wee Thad? How’s he getting on?”

“Not so wee anymore. I’ve only known him for a week but he seems like a good guy. Good eye for the business. I’m excited for what he’s got in store for this brand on XWF, he’s got a clear vision for me which is always nice.

Michelle kicks Sean’s shin under the table at his backhanded comment. Butch isn’t ignorant to it and he catches Wisdom’s eye whose stare practically bores into his skull.”

“Well, as long as you know what you’re doing. You always had that spark, that unique edge.”

“Thanks, Uncle Butch. I'll forever be grateful for the opportunities HWA gave me. But I couldn’t be held down anymore. There’s no way I could’ve achieved what I’ve done so far if I’d stuck around.”

“Sean, you would’ve gotten your chance,” Butch suddenly says. “Not everyone gets to be handed things.”

“I didn’t ask to be handed anything, Butch,” Sean retorts. “If you’d just given me some creative freedom to be myself and show you what I’m capable of, you’d have seen I didn’t need to be handed anything, I would’ve shown I deserved it. Things aren’t the same as they when you were my age, Butch! The young guys don’t do the bag-carrying or coffee runs! When you ride in the Kentucky Derby, you don’t leave your prized stallion in the stable, Butch!”

“You’re seriously not quoting Star Trek to me…”

“My point stands! I could’ve done great things for you in HWA but you chose the bureaucratic route. You chose the cheap way out. And now I’m showing the world exactly what I’m capable of!”

The room falls silent as the weight of their conversation hangs in the air. Sensing the tension, Wisdom intervenes gracefully, trying to steer the dialogue towards a more peaceful direction.

“Let's remember that we're here as a family, supporting and loving each other, no matter the differences.”

Michelle nods in agreement.

“Yes, tonight is about cherishing our bond and memories together.”

Butch gazes at Sean, a mix of emotions playing on his face. He takes a moment to collect his thoughts, realizing that Sean's decision to leave HWA came from a place of ambition and growth.

“Sean, I might not fully understand your choices, but I respect your journey. You're my nephew, and I'll always be proud of you, no matter where you go.”

There’s another wave of silence. Sean doesn’t respond. Michelle nudges him again under the table, inclining her head in a gesturing fashion. He takes a deep breath but simply says:

“Thanks.”

As dinner continues, the atmosphere gradually lightens. Wisdom and Michelle initiate conversations about past family vacations, cherished memories, and even some playful teasing that brings laughter to the table. Sean banters with his younger cousins, creating a beautiful sense of camaraderie. As the night winds down, Sean says his goodbyes, hugging each family member tightly.

“We're always here for you, Sean. Remember that.”

Sean smiles.

“I know, Aunt Wisdom. I won't forget.”

Sean leaves with Michelle, feeling a semblance of a sense of acceptance and love from his family but still not fully convinced of his uncle’s genuine feelings about his career choices. He looks forward to what his career is going to bring him, especially as he ponders on the possibilities that await him in XWF. He looks down at the WCW World Championship belt in his hand as he places it respectfully back in the duffel he brought.

“Maybe it’s time we got you some friends to keep you company.” 

Sean smirks as he and Michelle climb into their car as the scene fades to black.]]>