https://xwf1999.com/ Fri, 08 May 2026 04:38:12 +0000 MyBB https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30185 Thu, 28 Dec 2017 11:46:48 -0800 JimCaedus]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30185 "With a Vengeance: Try Hard p.3"



--4664 DEL ROSA RD•PHELAN•CA--

--THURSDAY EARLY AM--


Is this it, Main inquires of Colton, sat in the back seat beside him with Jim's shotty threateningly aimed point blank at his face?

"......Yeah."


Jim rolls the car silently to a stop at the far front corner of the property's fence, having already cut the engine a good fifty feet back. He sets the car into park. In the pitch black Phelan night, yellowish illumination radiates weakly from each visible window of the target house.

Drew stares at the closest window from the front passenger seat while Jim's emotionless gaze meets Colton's expression of weary acceptance in the rearview. He'd spent approaching 48 hours an Apex captive to ensure he wouldn't warn who he'd dimed out, a Rueben Velasquez and a Carlos Gonzalez, and now assumed, whichever way this went, he was going to die. He shies away from Jim's cold eyes to face Main and the sawn-off shotgun barrel.


How many in there right now?

"How the fuck should I know?"


Jim presses the trunk release, quietly opens the drivers side door and steps out heading for the rear of the rental. Colton watches him fearfully through the side windows until Main presses the barrel to Colton's head, snatching back his attention.


No lies. How many?

"I told you I don't know! Rueben and Carlos for sure, maybe a couple more! I'm not over here all the time, man," Colton whispers desperately!


Jim slowly closes the trunk and uses his weight to secure it as silently as possible before returning to the open drivers side door and sitting back down, arms full.


Are you SURE?

"YES!"

"S'ok bros...he's coming with."

"What!?"


CUT TO the nigh indistinguishable silhouettes of Drew and Main as they duck through a newly wirecut "doorway" in the front corner section of chain link fence, Jim bringing up the rear with Colton, ordering him through as well.

CUT TO the quartet crossing the distance between makeshift entrance and house, Main and Drew splitting off around the back.



(mood music)


Jim doesn't expect Colton to man up now of all times, the latter taking him by surprise and suddenly making a break for it, dead run, to the front door.


"RUEBEN! CARLOS!"


Jim takes off after him, stifling shouting out or worse, pulling the trigger and dropping Colton. Possible scenarios of a clusterfuck flash before his mind's eye and he begins to panic as Colton reaches the front door, twists the knob and flings the door open.


::BRACKA-BRACKA-BRACKA!!::


Jim screeches to a halt as Colton is literally lifted off his feet backward into the air, tagged by assault rifle fire from within. He lands on his back in the dirt, squirms for a second or two then lies still.

Jim doesn't recognize the Sureños affiliate visage that now fills the doorway but he does recognize the shape of the assault rifle held in the man's hands...and the turn of his head in Jim's direction.

Time slows as the Sureños affiliate begins raising his weapon up to take a shot, Jim frantically does the same with his shotty, snapping it up to midsection level and pulling the trigger.

The blast peppers the lower area surrounding the doorway, the target suddenly crumbling to his side with a pained bellow.


::PUMP::


Jim spies multiple buckshot wounds to the man's legs as he makes haste up to the door, stooping to grab the rifle and fling it off into the darkness before kicking the man unconscious and entering to an empty and bare front room.

From inside the house Jim hears the shatter of glass, the belch of a second shotgun, hopefully either Main or Drew's. A third shotgun blast retorts.

From hallway entrance to the left of the front room...none other than Carlos comes dashing out with a pistol in his right hand. He falls back as he stops, seeing Jim, dropping to his ass before raising his sidearm.

Jim takes a quick shot, spattering Carlos's right side with buckshot. He screams, lying back, dropping his pistol. Jim moves to pump-

A thump to Jim's right. Jim's head whips around, his body follows.

Rueben emerges from right side hallway, second assault rifle already up and trained on Jim.


"Fuck you holmes!"


::BLAM!!::


Rueben falls backward as his knees explode from behind, his screams of agony joining Carlos and the third Sureńos affiliate lying in the front doorway.

Cautiously, Robert Main exits the hallway behind Rueben, pumping his shotgun and expelling an empty shell. Drew emerges from the left side hallway, clutching the third shotgun.


"AAAAAAH! FUCK...FUCK DO YOU WANT," Rueben demands from the trio.


Main and Drew remain grimly silent as Jim stalks up to Rueben, kicking away his rifle.


"Justice......with a side o' vengeance."

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

The sun still hasn't risen by the time three responding San Bernardino County Sheriff SUVs pull up to the property, lights illuminating the night with the sporadic flash of red and blue.

The Apex rental is nowhere to be seen.

Deputies make their way cautiously, weapons drawn, through the front gate and approach the front of the house, a pair of them flanking off to circle around the back as Apex had done.

Moments later they make their incursion...

...to find 3 Sureños affiliates moaning in pain, close to death though stubbornly clinging to life, in a mass of bodies tied together in a seated position on the front room floor.

A scribbled note lies in a pool of blood before them and it reads:


We robbed the Fishes, now feed us to them :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS
AND A
HAPPY NEW YEAR


::FADE TO BLACK on the quizzical expressions of the deputies::]]> "With a Vengeance: Try Hard p.3"



--4664 DEL ROSA RD•PHELAN•CA--

--THURSDAY EARLY AM--


Is this it, Main inquires of Colton, sat in the back seat beside him with Jim's shotty threateningly aimed point blank at his face?

"......Yeah."


Jim rolls the car silently to a stop at the far front corner of the property's fence, having already cut the engine a good fifty feet back. He sets the car into park. In the pitch black Phelan night, yellowish illumination radiates weakly from each visible window of the target house.

Drew stares at the closest window from the front passenger seat while Jim's emotionless gaze meets Colton's expression of weary acceptance in the rearview. He'd spent approaching 48 hours an Apex captive to ensure he wouldn't warn who he'd dimed out, a Rueben Velasquez and a Carlos Gonzalez, and now assumed, whichever way this went, he was going to die. He shies away from Jim's cold eyes to face Main and the sawn-off shotgun barrel.


How many in there right now?

"How the fuck should I know?"


Jim presses the trunk release, quietly opens the drivers side door and steps out heading for the rear of the rental. Colton watches him fearfully through the side windows until Main presses the barrel to Colton's head, snatching back his attention.


No lies. How many?

"I told you I don't know! Rueben and Carlos for sure, maybe a couple more! I'm not over here all the time, man," Colton whispers desperately!


Jim slowly closes the trunk and uses his weight to secure it as silently as possible before returning to the open drivers side door and sitting back down, arms full.


Are you SURE?

"YES!"

"S'ok bros...he's coming with."

"What!?"


CUT TO the nigh indistinguishable silhouettes of Drew and Main as they duck through a newly wirecut "doorway" in the front corner section of chain link fence, Jim bringing up the rear with Colton, ordering him through as well.

CUT TO the quartet crossing the distance between makeshift entrance and house, Main and Drew splitting off around the back.



(mood music)


Jim doesn't expect Colton to man up now of all times, the latter taking him by surprise and suddenly making a break for it, dead run, to the front door.


"RUEBEN! CARLOS!"


Jim takes off after him, stifling shouting out or worse, pulling the trigger and dropping Colton. Possible scenarios of a clusterfuck flash before his mind's eye and he begins to panic as Colton reaches the front door, twists the knob and flings the door open.


::BRACKA-BRACKA-BRACKA!!::


Jim screeches to a halt as Colton is literally lifted off his feet backward into the air, tagged by assault rifle fire from within. He lands on his back in the dirt, squirms for a second or two then lies still.

Jim doesn't recognize the Sureños affiliate visage that now fills the doorway but he does recognize the shape of the assault rifle held in the man's hands...and the turn of his head in Jim's direction.

Time slows as the Sureños affiliate begins raising his weapon up to take a shot, Jim frantically does the same with his shotty, snapping it up to midsection level and pulling the trigger.

The blast peppers the lower area surrounding the doorway, the target suddenly crumbling to his side with a pained bellow.


::PUMP::


Jim spies multiple buckshot wounds to the man's legs as he makes haste up to the door, stooping to grab the rifle and fling it off into the darkness before kicking the man unconscious and entering to an empty and bare front room.

From inside the house Jim hears the shatter of glass, the belch of a second shotgun, hopefully either Main or Drew's. A third shotgun blast retorts.

From hallway entrance to the left of the front room...none other than Carlos comes dashing out with a pistol in his right hand. He falls back as he stops, seeing Jim, dropping to his ass before raising his sidearm.

Jim takes a quick shot, spattering Carlos's right side with buckshot. He screams, lying back, dropping his pistol. Jim moves to pump-

A thump to Jim's right. Jim's head whips around, his body follows.

Rueben emerges from right side hallway, second assault rifle already up and trained on Jim.


"Fuck you holmes!"


::BLAM!!::


Rueben falls backward as his knees explode from behind, his screams of agony joining Carlos and the third Sureńos affiliate lying in the front doorway.

Cautiously, Robert Main exits the hallway behind Rueben, pumping his shotgun and expelling an empty shell. Drew emerges from the left side hallway, clutching the third shotgun.


"AAAAAAH! FUCK...FUCK DO YOU WANT," Rueben demands from the trio.


Main and Drew remain grimly silent as Jim stalks up to Rueben, kicking away his rifle.


"Justice......with a side o' vengeance."

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

The sun still hasn't risen by the time three responding San Bernardino County Sheriff SUVs pull up to the property, lights illuminating the night with the sporadic flash of red and blue.

The Apex rental is nowhere to be seen.

Deputies make their way cautiously, weapons drawn, through the front gate and approach the front of the house, a pair of them flanking off to circle around the back as Apex had done.

Moments later they make their incursion...

...to find 3 Sureños affiliates moaning in pain, close to death though stubbornly clinging to life, in a mass of bodies tied together in a seated position on the front room floor.

A scribbled note lies in a pool of blood before them and it reads:


We robbed the Fishes, now feed us to them :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS
AND A
HAPPY NEW YEAR


::FADE TO BLACK on the quizzical expressions of the deputies::]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30176 Wed, 27 Dec 2017 12:42:53 -0800 Mezian]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30176


Oh, I'm sorry were you talking? I guess I cant expect something entertaining from someone with the intellectual depth of a saucer plate. I am otherwise intrigued by your need to make references to wrestlers that have nothing to do with our match.

You seem to think that the only way you can prove your better than anyone else is by making vague attacks on their appearance.While you sit there looking like a Mexican crossed with an umpa lumpa. You see Frodo which by the way I feel is very fitting for someone who is vertically challenged. You think because you won the X-treme title that you're important. You realize they pretty much hand that out to people to shut them up right?

To say you are better than anyone is kinda funny. You think that anyone in this company is afraid of you, or hell even respect you is a momentary lapse in the illusion of grandeur people like you must reside in to keep a false sense of self.

At the end of the day, no one cares about you or what you have done. Talking shit about Peter or McBride doesn't make you seem like a bad ass. It makes you look like the small, insignificant man-child you are. If you are going to keep coming at people with this weak playground level of shit talk you should go back to whatever hole you crawled out of.Yes, that even includes my dead mother's vagina.( See I did that joke for you, so it's not that hard to act like a 12-year-old.)

So in response, I have only one more thing to say. At Anarchy, you will know what an ass whopping is. You will know what pain is. They say that pain is just your bodies way of telling you that you are alive. Thursday you will feel very, very, much alive!

The Apocalypse is Now!!!!....Your End Is Nigh]]>


Oh, I'm sorry were you talking? I guess I cant expect something entertaining from someone with the intellectual depth of a saucer plate. I am otherwise intrigued by your need to make references to wrestlers that have nothing to do with our match.

You seem to think that the only way you can prove your better than anyone else is by making vague attacks on their appearance.While you sit there looking like a Mexican crossed with an umpa lumpa. You see Frodo which by the way I feel is very fitting for someone who is vertically challenged. You think because you won the X-treme title that you're important. You realize they pretty much hand that out to people to shut them up right?

To say you are better than anyone is kinda funny. You think that anyone in this company is afraid of you, or hell even respect you is a momentary lapse in the illusion of grandeur people like you must reside in to keep a false sense of self.

At the end of the day, no one cares about you or what you have done. Talking shit about Peter or McBride doesn't make you seem like a bad ass. It makes you look like the small, insignificant man-child you are. If you are going to keep coming at people with this weak playground level of shit talk you should go back to whatever hole you crawled out of.Yes, that even includes my dead mother's vagina.( See I did that joke for you, so it's not that hard to act like a 12-year-old.)

So in response, I have only one more thing to say. At Anarchy, you will know what an ass whopping is. You will know what pain is. They say that pain is just your bodies way of telling you that you are alive. Thursday you will feel very, very, much alive!

The Apocalypse is Now!!!!....Your End Is Nigh]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30175 Wed, 27 Dec 2017 00:23:31 -0800 JimCaedus]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30175 "Apex Assemble: Try Hard p.2"



--TUESDAY•CASTLE CAEDUS--




Jim levies one helluva pair of pitiable puppy dog eyes at both Robert and Drew in silence as the song plays on.

His Apex brothers exchange frowning glances then look back to Jim.


What the hell are you doing right now?

I'd say it's entirely possible Jim is apologizing to us right now, Bob. I mean, he's doing it like a lady but I'm pretty sure he's apologizing.

Jim replies with a faint lilt of a sob to his voice. "Hey, anything used in a Scorsese picture is manly as fuck. Casino homie...or was it Goodfellas? Meh, anyway...I'm sorry, brothers. Christmas always gets to me since the folks, wife and daughter passed on. ...Ok, not so much the cheating slut but definitely the rest."

Jim let's be honest. You blow your top and apologize as often as Pig changes his diaper. Which rumor has it is 3 times a day. At this point your apology is kinda not important. Actions speak louder than words is what they say. So go out there and act.

"Man...Drew, if you only knew how relevant that last part is in context with why I called you two over. I'll get to that in a moment though. First...you guys hear Pig thinks one o' you is the Mystery Competitor in our match for Anarchy?"

I am the mystery competitor obviously. I didn't think that was a secret. I know it says "Mystery Competitor" in big bold letters on the card but really what it should say is Drew Archyle.

"Wait it's really you!?"

No, of course not! I don't play the mysterious game. If and when I am going to face someone in the ring I want them to know it's me. Head games are for guys who can't back up their words with their fists. And that pally ain't me.

Seriously Jimmy, if one of us were the Mystery Competitor we would've told you.

"That's a damn good point, bro." Jim continues, looking to the lens. "I guess Bearded Half Wit didn't reckon on that little detail. Logic ain't exactly his strong suit. Or thinking. Or speaking. Or wiping front to back, the scat-sac sumbitch...at least that's how his cohort "Mad Dog" Mattis describes puppy-style experiences penetrating Pig's mudhole. Fuck all that for the moment though; on a more serious note..." Jim looks to his brothers. "I have an extremely big favor to ask of you both."

What's up?


Jim begins breaking down recent events popping off in Phelan as we IRIS OUT...




...then CUT TO the trio arriving by way of rental car roughly an hour and forty-five minutes later, Caedus behind the wheel. All three men sit quietly, the grave news and task at hand Jim had described before departure now fully sinking in, a shared grim expression among them.

At long last, Robert Main breaks the silence.


How's it feel to be back, Jim?


It takes him a moment but he finally responds:


"Like a bad dream. Last time leading into the KotR was weird enough, running into that "clone" of mine. Now this... And on that note, thank you guys. If I had to do this without you, I'd more than likely end up dy-"

Don't you finish that prediction. Don't say that, NEVER say that! Goonies never say die!


The three laugh, the tension provided via events to come easing for a few moments. Before long, however, smiles fade and masks of concern resettle as our pov DISSOLVES to an exterior shot of the car slowing to a stop on Sheep Creek at the town's single intersection then taking a left onto Phelan Road.

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

The drag of a thumb tip sparks and ignites flammable gas, a sustained teardrop of blue and yellow held a couple inches beneath the transparent, thin-glassed orb of a loaded pookie.

Grubby middle finger and thumb roll the "oil burner" stem as crystal shards within instantly melt to a pool of first clear then yellowing liquid vaporizing to gaseous form, packing the device opaque with white smoke.

Chapped lips encircle open opposite end, inhaling as fingers continue rolling and lighter flame extinguishes.

The pookie is placed atop a folded bandana to cool, the liquid quickly re-crystalizing to a pale yellow solid.

Chapped lips exhale a positively immense cloud.


::PWA-KLANG!!::


A stone half the size of a basketball smacks through cloudy plexiglass trailer entry door, landing on the stovetop.

Smoker spazzes, startled, sweeping an arm across snap-up dining tabletop, flinging the pookie and bandana down the length of the trailer out of instinct.

A thickly muscled right arm reaches in to unlock the door a second before the door itself is flung open and Jim Caedus, bearing his now trusty shotgun gifted to him out of spite by Josh Reno, steps in to extend his arm and one-handed level the barrel at smoker's shocked visage.


"Sup Colton."


Colton Justice; real guy, actual name. During Jim and his late family's time spent streetside in town cohabitating in the Explorer, Jim had encountered Colton on multiple occasions.

The first had been in aiding a 7 months pregnant young lady, Coltons girlfriend at the time, he'd stomach punched in the parking lot outside Stater Bros. Jim had clocked Colton out cold, holding him on the ground until deputies arrived. The girlfriend refused to press charges. She later miscarried.

The second confrontation happened outside the Arco AMPM, an attempt at revenge. A broken nose saw Colton flee with his unreliably timid backup.

The third, fourth and fifth times Jim witnessed Colton buying glass in broad daylight outside the Burger King...from who would later be revealed over the next few weeks as Sureños affiliates.

That affiliation, in light of the recent canine-killing home invasion victimizing Roger and Julie Fish, is what now inspires Jim's presence.

Colton's eyes stare fearful daggers in recognition.

"Don't...don't kill me man, I didn't do shit."

Jim steps in and shuts the door.

"Couple questions, cocksucker."


::STATIC::

TBC]]> "Apex Assemble: Try Hard p.2"



--TUESDAY•CASTLE CAEDUS--




Jim levies one helluva pair of pitiable puppy dog eyes at both Robert and Drew in silence as the song plays on.

His Apex brothers exchange frowning glances then look back to Jim.


What the hell are you doing right now?

I'd say it's entirely possible Jim is apologizing to us right now, Bob. I mean, he's doing it like a lady but I'm pretty sure he's apologizing.

Jim replies with a faint lilt of a sob to his voice. "Hey, anything used in a Scorsese picture is manly as fuck. Casino homie...or was it Goodfellas? Meh, anyway...I'm sorry, brothers. Christmas always gets to me since the folks, wife and daughter passed on. ...Ok, not so much the cheating slut but definitely the rest."

Jim let's be honest. You blow your top and apologize as often as Pig changes his diaper. Which rumor has it is 3 times a day. At this point your apology is kinda not important. Actions speak louder than words is what they say. So go out there and act.

"Man...Drew, if you only knew how relevant that last part is in context with why I called you two over. I'll get to that in a moment though. First...you guys hear Pig thinks one o' you is the Mystery Competitor in our match for Anarchy?"

I am the mystery competitor obviously. I didn't think that was a secret. I know it says "Mystery Competitor" in big bold letters on the card but really what it should say is Drew Archyle.

"Wait it's really you!?"

No, of course not! I don't play the mysterious game. If and when I am going to face someone in the ring I want them to know it's me. Head games are for guys who can't back up their words with their fists. And that pally ain't me.

Seriously Jimmy, if one of us were the Mystery Competitor we would've told you.

"That's a damn good point, bro." Jim continues, looking to the lens. "I guess Bearded Half Wit didn't reckon on that little detail. Logic ain't exactly his strong suit. Or thinking. Or speaking. Or wiping front to back, the scat-sac sumbitch...at least that's how his cohort "Mad Dog" Mattis describes puppy-style experiences penetrating Pig's mudhole. Fuck all that for the moment though; on a more serious note..." Jim looks to his brothers. "I have an extremely big favor to ask of you both."

What's up?


Jim begins breaking down recent events popping off in Phelan as we IRIS OUT...




...then CUT TO the trio arriving by way of rental car roughly an hour and forty-five minutes later, Caedus behind the wheel. All three men sit quietly, the grave news and task at hand Jim had described before departure now fully sinking in, a shared grim expression among them.

At long last, Robert Main breaks the silence.


How's it feel to be back, Jim?


It takes him a moment but he finally responds:


"Like a bad dream. Last time leading into the KotR was weird enough, running into that "clone" of mine. Now this... And on that note, thank you guys. If I had to do this without you, I'd more than likely end up dy-"

Don't you finish that prediction. Don't say that, NEVER say that! Goonies never say die!


The three laugh, the tension provided via events to come easing for a few moments. Before long, however, smiles fade and masks of concern resettle as our pov DISSOLVES to an exterior shot of the car slowing to a stop on Sheep Creek at the town's single intersection then taking a left onto Phelan Road.

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

The drag of a thumb tip sparks and ignites flammable gas, a sustained teardrop of blue and yellow held a couple inches beneath the transparent, thin-glassed orb of a loaded pookie.

Grubby middle finger and thumb roll the "oil burner" stem as crystal shards within instantly melt to a pool of first clear then yellowing liquid vaporizing to gaseous form, packing the device opaque with white smoke.

Chapped lips encircle open opposite end, inhaling as fingers continue rolling and lighter flame extinguishes.

The pookie is placed atop a folded bandana to cool, the liquid quickly re-crystalizing to a pale yellow solid.

Chapped lips exhale a positively immense cloud.


::PWA-KLANG!!::


A stone half the size of a basketball smacks through cloudy plexiglass trailer entry door, landing on the stovetop.

Smoker spazzes, startled, sweeping an arm across snap-up dining tabletop, flinging the pookie and bandana down the length of the trailer out of instinct.

A thickly muscled right arm reaches in to unlock the door a second before the door itself is flung open and Jim Caedus, bearing his now trusty shotgun gifted to him out of spite by Josh Reno, steps in to extend his arm and one-handed level the barrel at smoker's shocked visage.


"Sup Colton."


Colton Justice; real guy, actual name. During Jim and his late family's time spent streetside in town cohabitating in the Explorer, Jim had encountered Colton on multiple occasions.

The first had been in aiding a 7 months pregnant young lady, Coltons girlfriend at the time, he'd stomach punched in the parking lot outside Stater Bros. Jim had clocked Colton out cold, holding him on the ground until deputies arrived. The girlfriend refused to press charges. She later miscarried.

The second confrontation happened outside the Arco AMPM, an attempt at revenge. A broken nose saw Colton flee with his unreliably timid backup.

The third, fourth and fifth times Jim witnessed Colton buying glass in broad daylight outside the Burger King...from who would later be revealed over the next few weeks as Sureños affiliates.

That affiliation, in light of the recent canine-killing home invasion victimizing Roger and Julie Fish, is what now inspires Jim's presence.

Colton's eyes stare fearful daggers in recognition.

"Don't...don't kill me man, I didn't do shit."

Jim steps in and shuts the door.

"Couple questions, cocksucker."


::STATIC::

TBC]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30173 Tue, 26 Dec 2017 20:19:40 -0800 KimAnderson]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30173 Well look at that guess Drezdin remembered that he was actually booked for a match but something tells me that this might be the only time we hear from him or if we do hear from him again it is going to be nonsense like that last little promo he just graced us with.

So Drez, it’s nice to finally meet you and I have been racking my brain at something witty to say to you but really what can I say that isn’t a bigger joke than your career.

But I will say this about your last promo, it confused the hell out me and no it’s not because I am so dumb that I get hit by park cars like you kept saying, but because it looked like it was written by a toddler, I guess I shouldn’t really expect much from someone as old as you.

I don’t fully understand making this match a Viagra on a Pole match saying that the only person in this much that has any use for the shit is you.

Drez isn’t XWF management afraid that if you get you old ass hands on any Viagra that you might end up having a heart attack especially with two fine pieces of ass in the ring with you in me and Luna because I really don’t think your heart will be able to handle all your blood going down to that old dry up micro that you call a penis in your pants. So I make it my duty to make sure that doesn't happen as I don't think I could live with myself if I left you to die in the ring even if it is bound to happen sooner or later.

Luna don’t think I forgot aboot you eh, so I am going to ask you again…. How about after this little match we go back to the hotel and munch a little carpet? I do have ask though does the carpet match the drapes? Maybe if you ask nicely I can introduce you to my good friend Karl, he is 8 inches and vibrates and wow does he ever know how to hit the right spots.

Great now I went and turned myself on, thankfully Karl isn’t too far away and can help me with that until we have our fun in a few days. I don’t know what it is about you I just find redheads fucking hot, even if they try stealing your soul after mating.
]]> Well look at that guess Drezdin remembered that he was actually booked for a match but something tells me that this might be the only time we hear from him or if we do hear from him again it is going to be nonsense like that last little promo he just graced us with.

So Drez, it’s nice to finally meet you and I have been racking my brain at something witty to say to you but really what can I say that isn’t a bigger joke than your career.

But I will say this about your last promo, it confused the hell out me and no it’s not because I am so dumb that I get hit by park cars like you kept saying, but because it looked like it was written by a toddler, I guess I shouldn’t really expect much from someone as old as you.

I don’t fully understand making this match a Viagra on a Pole match saying that the only person in this much that has any use for the shit is you.

Drez isn’t XWF management afraid that if you get you old ass hands on any Viagra that you might end up having a heart attack especially with two fine pieces of ass in the ring with you in me and Luna because I really don’t think your heart will be able to handle all your blood going down to that old dry up micro that you call a penis in your pants. So I make it my duty to make sure that doesn't happen as I don't think I could live with myself if I left you to die in the ring even if it is bound to happen sooner or later.

Luna don’t think I forgot aboot you eh, so I am going to ask you again…. How about after this little match we go back to the hotel and munch a little carpet? I do have ask though does the carpet match the drapes? Maybe if you ask nicely I can introduce you to my good friend Karl, he is 8 inches and vibrates and wow does he ever know how to hit the right spots.

Great now I went and turned myself on, thankfully Karl isn’t too far away and can help me with that until we have our fun in a few days. I don’t know what it is about you I just find redheads fucking hot, even if they try stealing your soul after mating.
]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30171 Tue, 26 Dec 2017 13:27:08 -0800 "The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30171 Scanning the crowd of the strip joint Mad Dog and myself are at enjoying a few lap dances while having a few cold ones. When the most gorgeous girl I have ever laid eyes on is giving a suit one dominate and aggressive table dance. I'm talking high heels pressing into shoulder sockets while pussy is gyrating in his face. His eyes wide, could I blame him? Hell no. She had to be the most supreme specimen the place had to offer. Suddenly my euphoric fantasy of the young lady is shattered into a million pieces. Just like Jim Caedus' jaw come Anarchy. Bout time someone shuts off that over used microphone! Shattered by the likes of a man, every man should strive to be like. General James "Mad Dog" Mattis' voice could break the concentration of the most disciplined Buddhist monk.

"What the fuck is on your mind? Please don't tell me that turd banger Caedus is the culprit?"

"Fuck no man. It's that girl over there. She is really stirring my thoughts."

"Her back side does scream fuck me raw and from behind that's for sure!"

"You don't say that, she's a saint!"

Mad Dog looks at me like I just put flame to a crack pipe in the middle of the club. I slam a shot of crown royal and lick my lips. Mad Dog points toward the girl, my head turns in the direction. Damn! Guess calling her a saint was a little much, but she is so damn sexy. The special stripper now has the Suit out of his seat. Her left hand aggressively pulling his hair while pressing his face into his ass cushion. Like an alpha ass motherfucker she is thrusting her hips into his back side while taking turns spanking his left and right ass cheeks with his own belt. His pants are still on, she is wearing nothing but a black G-string and bikini top. That ass. Making my mouth water, sitting there like a rare three inch thick NY Strip. Almost begging me to take a bite.

"So what fucking church does she belong to, because sign me the fuck up buddy. If that's how their saints act, I wanna meet some of their fucking sinners! Damn it's great to be an American!"

"Very fucking funny Mad Dog! I should go over their and buy her attention for the night, keep shit gobblers like that suit from ruining the delicate little creature."

"What the fuck is wrong with you boy? Never put the pussy on a pedestal. Rule number fucking one. Don't tell me a hard charging motherfucker like you is going soft, losing his inner killer? Looking for a life partner is definitely the first step to loosing that inner devil dog, just waiting to spit on his hands, break fence, and start sorting bastards out. Right now is not the fucking time. We maybe basking in the glory and comforts of American freedom right now, but we are constantly a blink of an eye away from complete Anarchy! Always remember."

Mad Dog takes one of the many already poured shots of Crown Royal and pours it into his mouth. Followed by another. His hand reaches for a third, I smile and quickly slam one and grab my second before he reaches his. We take the next shots together simultaneously. As my hand grasps my third he smiles and waves me on to continue without him. I slam another and another. Passing him up by one shot, brings out a younger devil in him. Mad Dog continues matching shot for shot, until we hit about ten and we both look as if one more may cause us to puke. Not even allowing a full two minutes to go by before finishing ten well shots a piece.

"Damn looks like I still can drink with the best of them! Drinking does run deep in our DNA, doesn't it?"

"Damn straight! We were born in a bar for crying out loud. Many of nights filled with copious amounts of booze, grass, and ass all the way into morning physical training. Never let it slow me down one fuckin' bit though. No, always in my head on loop was you're the fucking best. A Fucking Marine! No one nor anything can stop you! Now I bet tomorrow morning I will barely be able to do my weight training routine let alone get my HIIT in."

"Sure the fuck you will! Devil you may be out of the Marine Corps but you're still a fucking Marine. That means while in the XWF you are our representation and you have matches out the ass to give it your all. So if you want to continue the high flyin', stylin', and profilin' alpha life style. You're going to have to dig down deep and find that stank eyed, snarl toothed, and razor clawed Devil Dog that fucked shit up! We aren't asking victory all the time especially not if you are enlisting your body, heart, sweat, tears, blood, and soul into every event the XWF offers. Nope not at all but we do expect you to be bustin' ass and showing the world Marines can do anything at a professional level."

Mad Dog is right, it is time I quit being a retired veteran and start being the Marine I was born to be. No more easy road. Nothing but the most difficult and obstructed paths life has to offer from here on out. Before grabbing my bottle of St. Pauli's Girl, I take a quick glance at my doll, who has disappeared, as well as the Suit. Not letting her rapid disappearance divert my train of thought. I raise the beer bottle into the air to conduct a toast to Mad Dog for his motivational words that were much needed.

TBC...]]> Scanning the crowd of the strip joint Mad Dog and myself are at enjoying a few lap dances while having a few cold ones. When the most gorgeous girl I have ever laid eyes on is giving a suit one dominate and aggressive table dance. I'm talking high heels pressing into shoulder sockets while pussy is gyrating in his face. His eyes wide, could I blame him? Hell no. She had to be the most supreme specimen the place had to offer. Suddenly my euphoric fantasy of the young lady is shattered into a million pieces. Just like Jim Caedus' jaw come Anarchy. Bout time someone shuts off that over used microphone! Shattered by the likes of a man, every man should strive to be like. General James "Mad Dog" Mattis' voice could break the concentration of the most disciplined Buddhist monk.

"What the fuck is on your mind? Please don't tell me that turd banger Caedus is the culprit?"

"Fuck no man. It's that girl over there. She is really stirring my thoughts."

"Her back side does scream fuck me raw and from behind that's for sure!"

"You don't say that, she's a saint!"

Mad Dog looks at me like I just put flame to a crack pipe in the middle of the club. I slam a shot of crown royal and lick my lips. Mad Dog points toward the girl, my head turns in the direction. Damn! Guess calling her a saint was a little much, but she is so damn sexy. The special stripper now has the Suit out of his seat. Her left hand aggressively pulling his hair while pressing his face into his ass cushion. Like an alpha ass motherfucker she is thrusting her hips into his back side while taking turns spanking his left and right ass cheeks with his own belt. His pants are still on, she is wearing nothing but a black G-string and bikini top. That ass. Making my mouth water, sitting there like a rare three inch thick NY Strip. Almost begging me to take a bite.

"So what fucking church does she belong to, because sign me the fuck up buddy. If that's how their saints act, I wanna meet some of their fucking sinners! Damn it's great to be an American!"

"Very fucking funny Mad Dog! I should go over their and buy her attention for the night, keep shit gobblers like that suit from ruining the delicate little creature."

"What the fuck is wrong with you boy? Never put the pussy on a pedestal. Rule number fucking one. Don't tell me a hard charging motherfucker like you is going soft, losing his inner killer? Looking for a life partner is definitely the first step to loosing that inner devil dog, just waiting to spit on his hands, break fence, and start sorting bastards out. Right now is not the fucking time. We maybe basking in the glory and comforts of American freedom right now, but we are constantly a blink of an eye away from complete Anarchy! Always remember."

Mad Dog takes one of the many already poured shots of Crown Royal and pours it into his mouth. Followed by another. His hand reaches for a third, I smile and quickly slam one and grab my second before he reaches his. We take the next shots together simultaneously. As my hand grasps my third he smiles and waves me on to continue without him. I slam another and another. Passing him up by one shot, brings out a younger devil in him. Mad Dog continues matching shot for shot, until we hit about ten and we both look as if one more may cause us to puke. Not even allowing a full two minutes to go by before finishing ten well shots a piece.

"Damn looks like I still can drink with the best of them! Drinking does run deep in our DNA, doesn't it?"

"Damn straight! We were born in a bar for crying out loud. Many of nights filled with copious amounts of booze, grass, and ass all the way into morning physical training. Never let it slow me down one fuckin' bit though. No, always in my head on loop was you're the fucking best. A Fucking Marine! No one nor anything can stop you! Now I bet tomorrow morning I will barely be able to do my weight training routine let alone get my HIIT in."

"Sure the fuck you will! Devil you may be out of the Marine Corps but you're still a fucking Marine. That means while in the XWF you are our representation and you have matches out the ass to give it your all. So if you want to continue the high flyin', stylin', and profilin' alpha life style. You're going to have to dig down deep and find that stank eyed, snarl toothed, and razor clawed Devil Dog that fucked shit up! We aren't asking victory all the time especially not if you are enlisting your body, heart, sweat, tears, blood, and soul into every event the XWF offers. Nope not at all but we do expect you to be bustin' ass and showing the world Marines can do anything at a professional level."

Mad Dog is right, it is time I quit being a retired veteran and start being the Marine I was born to be. No more easy road. Nothing but the most difficult and obstructed paths life has to offer from here on out. Before grabbing my bottle of St. Pauli's Girl, I take a quick glance at my doll, who has disappeared, as well as the Suit. Not letting her rapid disappearance divert my train of thought. I raise the beer bottle into the air to conduct a toast to Mad Dog for his motivational words that were much needed.

TBC...]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30165 Mon, 25 Dec 2017 21:42:48 -0800 Carver's Sheath]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30165 https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30164 Mon, 25 Dec 2017 20:44:09 -0800 Father Steve]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30164

From The Desk of Father Steven J. Robinson

Hello XWF Universe,

The good Father is coming back for one night only to make an impact. I figured with it being what the kids are watching in my congregation I might as well give it a shot. Instead of just preaching the words, I am gonna show you what I am truly capable in the ring and maybe then you will understand.

The good Lord never sleeps and neither do I. I am tired of going out into the world seeing nothing but sinners trying to take advantage of one another. It's a cold and dark world out there and this is my shot at redemption. This is my moment. Everyone will soon learn the name, Father Steve.

Sooner or later, He will rise from the grave and cut down everyone who hasn't repented of their sins. Fear not my children because I will guide you towards your salvation and atonement for your sins. I have lived a good life.

I am not afraid of what will happen in the ring. There is only one man that can truly judge me and we may be in the end times but I will continue singing his praises until the end.

- Father Steve

]]>

From The Desk of Father Steven J. Robinson

Hello XWF Universe,

The good Father is coming back for one night only to make an impact. I figured with it being what the kids are watching in my congregation I might as well give it a shot. Instead of just preaching the words, I am gonna show you what I am truly capable in the ring and maybe then you will understand.

The good Lord never sleeps and neither do I. I am tired of going out into the world seeing nothing but sinners trying to take advantage of one another. It's a cold and dark world out there and this is my shot at redemption. This is my moment. Everyone will soon learn the name, Father Steve.

Sooner or later, He will rise from the grave and cut down everyone who hasn't repented of their sins. Fear not my children because I will guide you towards your salvation and atonement for your sins. I have lived a good life.

I am not afraid of what will happen in the ring. There is only one man that can truly judge me and we may be in the end times but I will continue singing his praises until the end.

- Father Steve

]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30161 Mon, 25 Dec 2017 18:49:49 -0800 JimCaedus]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30161 "Try Hard"
(p.1 based on true recent events)



--PHELAN•CA•DECEMBER 25 2017•12:12 AM--


The gate and fencing the older couple had squared around their 2 acre property years ago is composed of simple chain link with spools of razor wire atop, secured at the entrance with the frequently seen cheaper model Master Lock padlock.

The two men experience little difficulty popping the locking mechanism open with a plastic zip-tie. They'd learned how from a "Bosnian Bill" youtube video.

The older couple's dog, a purebred snow white great dane, is of course an extremely large and intimidating hound they tend to keep outside and this early morning is no different. He detects the faint squeal of the gate as it swings open and trots over, growling. Despite the guard status, a few kissing calls elicit tail wagging.

While one of the men distracts the dog, coercing him off the property and into the dusty dirt road, the other slides up behind and swiftly cuts the animal's throat. They drag the body into the greasewood shrubs on the opposite side of the road then return to their stolen '02 BMW X/5 SUV and collect their firearms.

The average American normally only sees or hears fully automatic assault rifles in films or in media reports held in the hands of terrorists hopefully far as fuck away.

Once they cross the expanse between front gate and front door, one of the men pops off three rounds at the large front room window of the older couple's large single story home, shattering it to gain entry. His partner follows him in.

Julie Fish, 55 years old, isn't expecting to find two Hispanic males representing the Sureños, a gang with ties to La Eme rebounding off 67 recent convictions during San Bernadino law enforcement's Operation Bad Blood in her family room when she exits the master bedroom to investigate what she thought were local douchebag youth setting off M-80s.

Rueben Velasquez cracks Julie's skull open at the hairline above her left eye with the butt of his illegally modified to fully automatic .223 Smith & Wesson M&P 15 while his partner Carlos Gonzalez heads into the bedroom to collect her husband Roger, 58.

Julie regains consciousness to find herself and Roger, beaten bloody, secured with duct tape to two of their padded, wooden dining room chairs, their wrists behind their backs.

Rueben fires off three more rounds into the ceiling, nearly deafening the couple. He then levels the barrel at Roger's face and demands to know where they keep their valuables. Assumed to have been about ten minutes later, Rueben and Carlos, after cutting the landlines, finish three trips to and from their stolen SUV relieving the Fish's of their jewelry, electronics including the smart phones, around five grand in cash and depart, one of the men behind the wheel of the Fish's Mercedes. They even abscond with the collection of wrapped gifts beneath the couple's Christmas tree.

45 minutes later, the couple, having freed themselves only minutes following the men's escape, arrive on foot at the Arco in town to alert the authorities.


--CASTLE CAEDUS•2:33 PM•SAME DAY--




I stare unblinking as the lyrics of "In Disarray" play out, knowing I'd let my anger get the best of me on Sunday, inadvertently pissing off my brothers Drew and Main...and most likely everyone else for that matter...with my indiscriminate release of anguished venom.

Christmas had arrived anyway, whether I wanted it to or not.


::BVVT::

I check the notification.


So...'Pig responded.


I view...then, in light of Floyd spending Christmas with his family, ready my phone for promo, not having the energy to take it into the studio.


"How's it goin' Chimpigzee? Christmas stocking and anus fully packed with Waller's Best slop-pops and Chiquita bananas? Yes? That's wonderful, ya primitive tool usin' jarheaded hooved hooker, happy holidays.

Oh, what, the "chimpigzee" thing? 'Ey, you're the one who said you were gonna come at me like a chimp, Private Joker Toker, all I did was combine the two. And if it's that easy for me to adapt and roll with your _linguistic_ punches...perhaps you need to recall what happened the last time we met in the ring in singles competition for my, at the time, Uni strap and safely assume I'll be bringing twice the intensity. The kinda intensity that legitimately brings the "swinging of another human being as a weapon" like you were threatening into the picture. Been there, done that, against Nate Higgers April 29th on Savage and uh, "you heard it from the" _perpetrator's_ mouth. As usual I'm two steps, another half a brain and seven inches ahead o' you with that party favor boom stick, chubby. I love you have that term in use btw, "boom stick"? How appropriately monosyllabic for a grunt.

Oh, I'm your arch enemy now?"


I scoff.


"Not sure if that's all that accurate. I mean yeah, your stable, the one currently at war with wives, children and quality, is very much the target of Apex. But you and I? What was it that did it? That Gay Pale preview during War Games? Does somebody want a sequel trailer for Anarchy? Oh you didn't know there was a sequel? Yeah man, you creampied your father's bunghole before death, remember? Well...it took, dude's pregnant with your ass child now. I smell incesty fraaaaaanchiiiiiiiiise. And if there _was_ such a thing, guaranteed it'd be more dependable than you.

"Consistent and thorough" you claim? Consistently inconsistent and thoroughly disappointing you mean? Let's not pretend you aren't a name known for up and evacuating without warning, while I just completed an unbroken year of action.

Truth is, I'll be kickin' off between your uprights so fuckin' hard your balls'll hit maximum velocity and blow your skull apart on the way out, ya silly sailorboy's cock-locker."


::BVVVVVVT::


Recording ends automatically. An incoming call from Phelan of all places interrupts.

I answer...and find it difficult to believe what I'm being told on the other end moments later......


TBC]]> "Try Hard"
(p.1 based on true recent events)



--PHELAN•CA•DECEMBER 25 2017•12:12 AM--


The gate and fencing the older couple had squared around their 2 acre property years ago is composed of simple chain link with spools of razor wire atop, secured at the entrance with the frequently seen cheaper model Master Lock padlock.

The two men experience little difficulty popping the locking mechanism open with a plastic zip-tie. They'd learned how from a "Bosnian Bill" youtube video.

The older couple's dog, a purebred snow white great dane, is of course an extremely large and intimidating hound they tend to keep outside and this early morning is no different. He detects the faint squeal of the gate as it swings open and trots over, growling. Despite the guard status, a few kissing calls elicit tail wagging.

While one of the men distracts the dog, coercing him off the property and into the dusty dirt road, the other slides up behind and swiftly cuts the animal's throat. They drag the body into the greasewood shrubs on the opposite side of the road then return to their stolen '02 BMW X/5 SUV and collect their firearms.

The average American normally only sees or hears fully automatic assault rifles in films or in media reports held in the hands of terrorists hopefully far as fuck away.

Once they cross the expanse between front gate and front door, one of the men pops off three rounds at the large front room window of the older couple's large single story home, shattering it to gain entry. His partner follows him in.

Julie Fish, 55 years old, isn't expecting to find two Hispanic males representing the Sureños, a gang with ties to La Eme rebounding off 67 recent convictions during San Bernadino law enforcement's Operation Bad Blood in her family room when she exits the master bedroom to investigate what she thought were local douchebag youth setting off M-80s.

Rueben Velasquez cracks Julie's skull open at the hairline above her left eye with the butt of his illegally modified to fully automatic .223 Smith & Wesson M&P 15 while his partner Carlos Gonzalez heads into the bedroom to collect her husband Roger, 58.

Julie regains consciousness to find herself and Roger, beaten bloody, secured with duct tape to two of their padded, wooden dining room chairs, their wrists behind their backs.

Rueben fires off three more rounds into the ceiling, nearly deafening the couple. He then levels the barrel at Roger's face and demands to know where they keep their valuables. Assumed to have been about ten minutes later, Rueben and Carlos, after cutting the landlines, finish three trips to and from their stolen SUV relieving the Fish's of their jewelry, electronics including the smart phones, around five grand in cash and depart, one of the men behind the wheel of the Fish's Mercedes. They even abscond with the collection of wrapped gifts beneath the couple's Christmas tree.

45 minutes later, the couple, having freed themselves only minutes following the men's escape, arrive on foot at the Arco in town to alert the authorities.


--CASTLE CAEDUS•2:33 PM•SAME DAY--




I stare unblinking as the lyrics of "In Disarray" play out, knowing I'd let my anger get the best of me on Sunday, inadvertently pissing off my brothers Drew and Main...and most likely everyone else for that matter...with my indiscriminate release of anguished venom.

Christmas had arrived anyway, whether I wanted it to or not.


::BVVT::

I check the notification.


So...'Pig responded.


I view...then, in light of Floyd spending Christmas with his family, ready my phone for promo, not having the energy to take it into the studio.


"How's it goin' Chimpigzee? Christmas stocking and anus fully packed with Waller's Best slop-pops and Chiquita bananas? Yes? That's wonderful, ya primitive tool usin' jarheaded hooved hooker, happy holidays.

Oh, what, the "chimpigzee" thing? 'Ey, you're the one who said you were gonna come at me like a chimp, Private Joker Toker, all I did was combine the two. And if it's that easy for me to adapt and roll with your _linguistic_ punches...perhaps you need to recall what happened the last time we met in the ring in singles competition for my, at the time, Uni strap and safely assume I'll be bringing twice the intensity. The kinda intensity that legitimately brings the "swinging of another human being as a weapon" like you were threatening into the picture. Been there, done that, against Nate Higgers April 29th on Savage and uh, "you heard it from the" _perpetrator's_ mouth. As usual I'm two steps, another half a brain and seven inches ahead o' you with that party favor boom stick, chubby. I love you have that term in use btw, "boom stick"? How appropriately monosyllabic for a grunt.

Oh, I'm your arch enemy now?"


I scoff.


"Not sure if that's all that accurate. I mean yeah, your stable, the one currently at war with wives, children and quality, is very much the target of Apex. But you and I? What was it that did it? That Gay Pale preview during War Games? Does somebody want a sequel trailer for Anarchy? Oh you didn't know there was a sequel? Yeah man, you creampied your father's bunghole before death, remember? Well...it took, dude's pregnant with your ass child now. I smell incesty fraaaaaanchiiiiiiiiise. And if there _was_ such a thing, guaranteed it'd be more dependable than you.

"Consistent and thorough" you claim? Consistently inconsistent and thoroughly disappointing you mean? Let's not pretend you aren't a name known for up and evacuating without warning, while I just completed an unbroken year of action.

Truth is, I'll be kickin' off between your uprights so fuckin' hard your balls'll hit maximum velocity and blow your skull apart on the way out, ya silly sailorboy's cock-locker."


::BVVVVVVT::


Recording ends automatically. An incoming call from Phelan of all places interrupts.

I answer...and find it difficult to believe what I'm being told on the other end moments later......


TBC]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30158 Mon, 25 Dec 2017 09:10:20 -0800 "The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30158 “Jim Caedus at Anarchy I am going to purge you! I’m going to shove a butcher’s hook up your ass yank you into the air with a pulley from the rafters and use this Mystery Opponent as a baseball bat to break your fucking ribs. Yes, you heard it from the Pig’s mouth yourself.

Now we all know this Mystery Opponent is most likely one of your pals and well it doesn’t matter how many chuckle fucks of yours are involved because I am a Motherfucker. I could fuck my way through a world record orgy. Bearded Rapunzel and any of his other fucked up fairy tale princesses are going to catch this Beard, Pig, and People beat down!

Please Jim when it happens don’t be a whiny bitch about it. Don’t think I didn’t see what you had to say in your first promo brah. Trying to act like you know of any squash besides the large vegetables you and your pals shove up your bums while crocheting assless chaps, sipping wine, and puffing on each other’s peckers.

With my completely non-stop ridiculous wrestling schedule ahead of me. Our match at Anarchy is the one I am most excited for. The fuckery in this one is strong, not just because you basically made yourself my arch enemy. Not because this Mystery Opponent gives it a little more edge or wonder for the imagination. No, it’s my most looked forward to because it’s basically a dark match, nothing that the XWF will barely keep note of.

Most likely a rare occasion one will get the opportunity to put the boots to glory and attention whores like yourself at such unvalued events. Kind of makes it special to me, so hopefully you’ll understand why at Anarchy I am coming down to the ring ready to destroy. You are basically going to be facing a very large chimpanzee on cocaine and LSD.

Do you know what that means Jimmy? Fuck no you don’t! I don’t even know what the hell that means. Know one does. What we do know is it’s not good for you. Not at all. You made an enemy out of someone who could have been a very valued and skillful friend. Instead your going to have a severe pain in the ass. Not just at Anarchy, not just for the rest of two thousand seventeen, and not just for two thousand eighteen either. No Jimbo I’m consistent and thorough so if you are in the XWF, you’ll have to worry if a Motherfucker is lurking around every corner you come to.

Forever Unsafe!

Lucky for you though Jimbo, you won’t be able to play with my Boomstick at Anarchy being a standard triple threat and all. Who really knows though Jimmy boy. This stupid fucking Jarhead might just say fuck it and bring the old Boomstick along, say fuck the match and just beat you until the barbwire duals or the AK forty-seven buttstock snaps in half! Like I said before I don’t even know what kind of fucked up killing machine you are going to see. Just prepare yourself for one hell of a time.

You do love the thrill of the fight don’t you Jim?! Yeah. Just look at some of the ways you’ve put yourself in harms way for victory. I’m glad your willing to exasperate it all because you bet your ass all three of us will be. I will be making damn sure of it. You either can be cool with it or it can be forced upon you.

Basically, what I am asking don’t hold fucking back because if you do I will just punch harder, wrestler more intensely, and fly higher than a blonde sissified fuck like you can handle! Not that it’s not going to happen that way anyways, Bwarhahaha!

Since I am mister nice guy and all. How about I brainstorm here a minute and help you with the excuse you can use after I pin your shoulders to the canvas of the ring for that sweet and erecting three count. Maybe you can blame my mean words and disrespectful jokes for you succumbing to the drugs that once had you whipped like the little bitch you are. No that won’t work, there has been plenty of greats who were advent drug users.

How about I bend your mom over a barrel and show her the fifty states? That would fuck with anyone’s head, finding out their mother no matter how shitty of one they maybe are getting their pussy blown out by the foe. Fuckin’ dirty. A few fucktards would buy into that excuse I do believe Jimbo, but you would be the pro on them, what do you think?

Man oh man I can’t wait for this match. I just know we are going to smash the house down! Hopefully know one is occupying because I’m prepared to be a one man wrecking crew if need be but I’m almost sure you are on board.

With that said Jimbo, Mystery Opponent whoever you maybe. Eat, sleep, train, and prepared for the end of the world because the whole XWF is about to be engulfed by Anarchy and I plan to be the one leading the charge! You two fuckstains are my targets and well Marines never fucking miss. Make sure your loved ones know you love them and kiss them good bye because B-W-Motherfuckin’ P ruts during Anarchy. Hog’s of War fear nothing in rut! Stretch and work those jaws because ya’ll about to receive a large mouthful of Pig testies!

Oink, Oink Motherfuckers!”]]> “Jim Caedus at Anarchy I am going to purge you! I’m going to shove a butcher’s hook up your ass yank you into the air with a pulley from the rafters and use this Mystery Opponent as a baseball bat to break your fucking ribs. Yes, you heard it from the Pig’s mouth yourself.

Now we all know this Mystery Opponent is most likely one of your pals and well it doesn’t matter how many chuckle fucks of yours are involved because I am a Motherfucker. I could fuck my way through a world record orgy. Bearded Rapunzel and any of his other fucked up fairy tale princesses are going to catch this Beard, Pig, and People beat down!

Please Jim when it happens don’t be a whiny bitch about it. Don’t think I didn’t see what you had to say in your first promo brah. Trying to act like you know of any squash besides the large vegetables you and your pals shove up your bums while crocheting assless chaps, sipping wine, and puffing on each other’s peckers.

With my completely non-stop ridiculous wrestling schedule ahead of me. Our match at Anarchy is the one I am most excited for. The fuckery in this one is strong, not just because you basically made yourself my arch enemy. Not because this Mystery Opponent gives it a little more edge or wonder for the imagination. No, it’s my most looked forward to because it’s basically a dark match, nothing that the XWF will barely keep note of.

Most likely a rare occasion one will get the opportunity to put the boots to glory and attention whores like yourself at such unvalued events. Kind of makes it special to me, so hopefully you’ll understand why at Anarchy I am coming down to the ring ready to destroy. You are basically going to be facing a very large chimpanzee on cocaine and LSD.

Do you know what that means Jimmy? Fuck no you don’t! I don’t even know what the hell that means. Know one does. What we do know is it’s not good for you. Not at all. You made an enemy out of someone who could have been a very valued and skillful friend. Instead your going to have a severe pain in the ass. Not just at Anarchy, not just for the rest of two thousand seventeen, and not just for two thousand eighteen either. No Jimbo I’m consistent and thorough so if you are in the XWF, you’ll have to worry if a Motherfucker is lurking around every corner you come to.

Forever Unsafe!

Lucky for you though Jimbo, you won’t be able to play with my Boomstick at Anarchy being a standard triple threat and all. Who really knows though Jimmy boy. This stupid fucking Jarhead might just say fuck it and bring the old Boomstick along, say fuck the match and just beat you until the barbwire duals or the AK forty-seven buttstock snaps in half! Like I said before I don’t even know what kind of fucked up killing machine you are going to see. Just prepare yourself for one hell of a time.

You do love the thrill of the fight don’t you Jim?! Yeah. Just look at some of the ways you’ve put yourself in harms way for victory. I’m glad your willing to exasperate it all because you bet your ass all three of us will be. I will be making damn sure of it. You either can be cool with it or it can be forced upon you.

Basically, what I am asking don’t hold fucking back because if you do I will just punch harder, wrestler more intensely, and fly higher than a blonde sissified fuck like you can handle! Not that it’s not going to happen that way anyways, Bwarhahaha!

Since I am mister nice guy and all. How about I brainstorm here a minute and help you with the excuse you can use after I pin your shoulders to the canvas of the ring for that sweet and erecting three count. Maybe you can blame my mean words and disrespectful jokes for you succumbing to the drugs that once had you whipped like the little bitch you are. No that won’t work, there has been plenty of greats who were advent drug users.

How about I bend your mom over a barrel and show her the fifty states? That would fuck with anyone’s head, finding out their mother no matter how shitty of one they maybe are getting their pussy blown out by the foe. Fuckin’ dirty. A few fucktards would buy into that excuse I do believe Jimbo, but you would be the pro on them, what do you think?

Man oh man I can’t wait for this match. I just know we are going to smash the house down! Hopefully know one is occupying because I’m prepared to be a one man wrecking crew if need be but I’m almost sure you are on board.

With that said Jimbo, Mystery Opponent whoever you maybe. Eat, sleep, train, and prepared for the end of the world because the whole XWF is about to be engulfed by Anarchy and I plan to be the one leading the charge! You two fuckstains are my targets and well Marines never fucking miss. Make sure your loved ones know you love them and kiss them good bye because B-W-Motherfuckin’ P ruts during Anarchy. Hog’s of War fear nothing in rut! Stretch and work those jaws because ya’ll about to receive a large mouthful of Pig testies!

Oink, Oink Motherfuckers!”]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30157 Mon, 25 Dec 2017 08:48:19 -0800 drezdin5788]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30157 now if my memory serves me correctly, this little mini show is a feddaweight type of show right? And since this is a feddaweight type show where you can say whaaat ever is on your mind, or shell out some sheep shots, after all it's feddaweight, I was thinking since miss Anderson is in the mood for one sentences type of one liners....I'm more than happy to oblige her, and miss Hightower. Just hope that she and miss Hightower can handle it. Here I go.
.
.
.
1.miss Anderson is so dumb she got hit by a park car
2.hell shes the kinda dumb that even the car she had hit before knows that she'll hit a passing car with out even knowing it.
3.one ass looks like two pigs fighting over a box of milk duds
4.the other ass has more nooks and crannies then a Thomas English muff
.
.
.
Wait sec!? Ain't this a three way viagra on a pole match? Hell screw what I just said, with out the pole or the viagra, I'll just fuckem both till they pass out.
I mean after all it shouldn't be that hard when one can stop hitting her self park cats everywhere while the other..other..othe...well...meeeeh never mind.]]> now if my memory serves me correctly, this little mini show is a feddaweight type of show right? And since this is a feddaweight type show where you can say whaaat ever is on your mind, or shell out some sheep shots, after all it's feddaweight, I was thinking since miss Anderson is in the mood for one sentences type of one liners....I'm more than happy to oblige her, and miss Hightower. Just hope that she and miss Hightower can handle it. Here I go.
.
.
.
1.miss Anderson is so dumb she got hit by a park car
2.hell shes the kinda dumb that even the car she had hit before knows that she'll hit a passing car with out even knowing it.
3.one ass looks like two pigs fighting over a box of milk duds
4.the other ass has more nooks and crannies then a Thomas English muff
.
.
.
Wait sec!? Ain't this a three way viagra on a pole match? Hell screw what I just said, with out the pole or the viagra, I'll just fuckem both till they pass out.
I mean after all it shouldn't be that hard when one can stop hitting her self park cats everywhere while the other..other..othe...well...meeeeh never mind.]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30154 Sun, 24 Dec 2017 18:09:38 -0800 KimAnderson]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30154
I bite my finger and give the camera a soft wink.

See you at Anarchy sweet cheeks]]>
I bite my finger and give the camera a soft wink.

See you at Anarchy sweet cheeks]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30151 Sun, 24 Dec 2017 12:41:40 -0800 Mezian]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30151 Okay, so after six months of sitting on the sidelines with a neck injury watching shows from my hospital bed, then my living room, then from my phone I come back to this. A match with three fucktards I have no idea of who they are. Quite honestly I don't care either. Before I left I was fighting for titles or at least title chances. I would be surprised if any of these assholes have even seen a title in this company let alone fight for one.

I don't care what the match is that Shane has put me in with them. The result will be the same. I walk out and there is a mound of unconscious bodies.So before the rest of slack jaw cock knobs come slapping your dick holsters. I want you to remember I have gone toe to toe with some of the best in the company past and present. Realize who you will have to be locked in a chamber with and recognize the gravity of your situation. Life, as you know, will be changed forever and I will be the catalyst for the explosion of fuckery that you are about to endure.

So, you have been warned and there will be no end to the pain I will inflict and the will be no end to the joy I will feel doing it.Remember while you're in the hospital beds recovering that this was brought on by your actions and words. You have no one to blame but yourselves.

Run while you still have a chance....YOUR END IS NIGH!!!!!]]> Okay, so after six months of sitting on the sidelines with a neck injury watching shows from my hospital bed, then my living room, then from my phone I come back to this. A match with three fucktards I have no idea of who they are. Quite honestly I don't care either. Before I left I was fighting for titles or at least title chances. I would be surprised if any of these assholes have even seen a title in this company let alone fight for one.

I don't care what the match is that Shane has put me in with them. The result will be the same. I walk out and there is a mound of unconscious bodies.So before the rest of slack jaw cock knobs come slapping your dick holsters. I want you to remember I have gone toe to toe with some of the best in the company past and present. Realize who you will have to be locked in a chamber with and recognize the gravity of your situation. Life, as you know, will be changed forever and I will be the catalyst for the explosion of fuckery that you are about to endure.

So, you have been warned and there will be no end to the pain I will inflict and the will be no end to the joy I will feel doing it.Remember while you're in the hospital beds recovering that this was brought on by your actions and words. You have no one to blame but yourselves.

Run while you still have a chance....YOUR END IS NIGH!!!!!]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30148 Sun, 24 Dec 2017 10:03:06 -0800 JimCaedus]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30148

"Psh... Mmmhm."



"Loud & Clear"



I slam the receiver down on my corded 80s official Disney Mickey Mouse phone...then yank the ancient landline from the wall and pitch the whole damn thing out the window.

::SHATTER::

The closed window.

Dammit.

"Meh, fuck it. Once a sincerely despised fuck up, _always_ a sincerely despised fuck up.

Right fam?

Rhetorical. I see it monthly. Somewhat like Engy's clockwork release of The Shining elevator load o' sloughed uterine walls and vaginal cranberry juice any time he "justifiably" hits me with shit only acceptable because I have the balls to talk about it on camera, then I hit back, in seeming ultra taboo fashion, and become public enemy number 1."



"Indeed. And not a balanced one at that. Show of hands...who here has friends outside AND inside the biz?

...Wow, Jesus, don't even need to count, that's all of you. Ok...

Next, who here has parents still living to enjoy the holidays with?

One...two...three...four...five...si- K, that's enough, don't rub it in.

Next question: who here has OTHER family members who haven't disowned you for attempting to institute CBD oil treatment for your dying mother (you somehow becoming a "drug pushing junkie" over it) to, at the very least, receive cute lil' Christmas cards, or Happy Holiday phone calls from and at BEST enjoy the season with as well?

One...two...three...four...five...six...sev- Ok ok, I get it. Even more. Cool, good for you, fam.

Last question: who here has CHILDREN to enjoy the holiday with; evil, vapid, soulless cheating wives/girlfriends aside? I won't even bother counting, enough o' you do...including ENGY with his newfound son, awwwwww." I unleash an over-the-top-sarcastic open mouth smile. "Guess who has NONE of the above with only aborted fetuses, full-on corpses and unanswered phone calls/texts to play Secret Santa with??" I instantly drop the act. "Yeah, fuck you. And you don't give a shit either, so corkscrew whatever "kind words" you may have said right back down your throats and legit choke to death on 'em, I'm done with the patronizing "support" and contradictory action.

As for the two I KNOW will have nothin' to offer but insults and laughter...Pig and this Mystery opponent #1...

Go ahead Joshua Hatred, hit me with your best shot, fuck a chick in front of a classroom fulla kids and finally, force us all to sit through whatever "is this douche for real?" idea you have for your first vignette. Then I'll hit you back, make you look like an idiot and still get my ass handed to me in the ring.

Another show of fuckin' hands...who here has put in as much effort as they could for hyping a match, definitely ain't no greenhorn who never suffered a squash but...got squashed anyway? Yeah...Benito Angelo, wherever YOU are your hand ain't poppin' up...even though you promo no-showed my debut match you still kicked the shit outta me. I'm the only one here who can raise a hand to this. I did my best with the distractions I had against Engy the first time around yet, oh, imagine that, he completely squashed me. Humiliated me."



"Precisely. And the message is: Jim Caedus is a disrespected, enhancement talent, colossal joke in this business. Every. Single. Accolade. He ever collected previous, has _since_ or ever _WILL_ was PISSED ON by that one squash.

So let's add another. Squash me Pig, like your so very talented, protected and worshipped comrade did.

As for the Mystery Competitor, what are YOU waiting for? Come on out with the same pretentious smartass attitude every Mystery Competitor displays from the position of anonymity like that ain't the biggest pussy maneuver in the game. Then...after Pig and I have made our guesses as to who you are, unveil who you REALLY are and somehow make the victims of your spineless entrapment look "stupid" and effectively "fooled" seeing as you can change anything about who you REALLY are at the drop of an accusation and make us look "dumb".

I'll be waiting. Hell...I got nothin' better to do."

::STATIC FLIP OFF::]]>

"Psh... Mmmhm."



"Loud & Clear"



I slam the receiver down on my corded 80s official Disney Mickey Mouse phone...then yank the ancient landline from the wall and pitch the whole damn thing out the window.

::SHATTER::

The closed window.

Dammit.

"Meh, fuck it. Once a sincerely despised fuck up, _always_ a sincerely despised fuck up.

Right fam?

Rhetorical. I see it monthly. Somewhat like Engy's clockwork release of The Shining elevator load o' sloughed uterine walls and vaginal cranberry juice any time he "justifiably" hits me with shit only acceptable because I have the balls to talk about it on camera, then I hit back, in seeming ultra taboo fashion, and become public enemy number 1."



"Indeed. And not a balanced one at that. Show of hands...who here has friends outside AND inside the biz?

...Wow, Jesus, don't even need to count, that's all of you. Ok...

Next, who here has parents still living to enjoy the holidays with?

One...two...three...four...five...si- K, that's enough, don't rub it in.

Next question: who here has OTHER family members who haven't disowned you for attempting to institute CBD oil treatment for your dying mother (you somehow becoming a "drug pushing junkie" over it) to, at the very least, receive cute lil' Christmas cards, or Happy Holiday phone calls from and at BEST enjoy the season with as well?

One...two...three...four...five...six...sev- Ok ok, I get it. Even more. Cool, good for you, fam.

Last question: who here has CHILDREN to enjoy the holiday with; evil, vapid, soulless cheating wives/girlfriends aside? I won't even bother counting, enough o' you do...including ENGY with his newfound son, awwwwww." I unleash an over-the-top-sarcastic open mouth smile. "Guess who has NONE of the above with only aborted fetuses, full-on corpses and unanswered phone calls/texts to play Secret Santa with??" I instantly drop the act. "Yeah, fuck you. And you don't give a shit either, so corkscrew whatever "kind words" you may have said right back down your throats and legit choke to death on 'em, I'm done with the patronizing "support" and contradictory action.

As for the two I KNOW will have nothin' to offer but insults and laughter...Pig and this Mystery opponent #1...

Go ahead Joshua Hatred, hit me with your best shot, fuck a chick in front of a classroom fulla kids and finally, force us all to sit through whatever "is this douche for real?" idea you have for your first vignette. Then I'll hit you back, make you look like an idiot and still get my ass handed to me in the ring.

Another show of fuckin' hands...who here has put in as much effort as they could for hyping a match, definitely ain't no greenhorn who never suffered a squash but...got squashed anyway? Yeah...Benito Angelo, wherever YOU are your hand ain't poppin' up...even though you promo no-showed my debut match you still kicked the shit outta me. I'm the only one here who can raise a hand to this. I did my best with the distractions I had against Engy the first time around yet, oh, imagine that, he completely squashed me. Humiliated me."



"Precisely. And the message is: Jim Caedus is a disrespected, enhancement talent, colossal joke in this business. Every. Single. Accolade. He ever collected previous, has _since_ or ever _WILL_ was PISSED ON by that one squash.

So let's add another. Squash me Pig, like your so very talented, protected and worshipped comrade did.

As for the Mystery Competitor, what are YOU waiting for? Come on out with the same pretentious smartass attitude every Mystery Competitor displays from the position of anonymity like that ain't the biggest pussy maneuver in the game. Then...after Pig and I have made our guesses as to who you are, unveil who you REALLY are and somehow make the victims of your spineless entrapment look "stupid" and effectively "fooled" seeing as you can change anything about who you REALLY are at the drop of an accusation and make us look "dumb".

I'll be waiting. Hell...I got nothin' better to do."

::STATIC FLIP OFF::]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30145 Sat, 23 Dec 2017 19:41:48 -0800 KimAnderson]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30145 https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30137 Sat, 23 Dec 2017 01:36:45 -0800 Carver's Sheath]]> https://xwf1999.com/showthread.php?tid=30137
RPing back and forth is what is most likely to get a match in the M.E. spot!

The participants in the match that ends up being THE main event of the show, each earn $500,000 X Bux, win or lose!]]>
RPing back and forth is what is most likely to get a match in the M.E. spot!

The participants in the match that ends up being THE main event of the show, each earn $500,000 X Bux, win or lose!]]>