Media/Press room or whatever. 


The backstage reporters nearly kill each other trying to get as close to the GREAT Korvayne as possible! Not even thirty minutes ago, men fought like hell to earn the right to call themselves champion alongside her. Only one man prevailed, and he had to damn near murder the others to do it.

That man is EDWARD THE GREAT! How apropos!

So it is no fucking wonder the media is swarming Korvayne like drones in Ukraine. Her SIMP gets to yeet some of them out of the way so the rest scatter to a safe and respectful distance, allowing her unmolested passage to the podium that stands erect like every man’s penis right now.

How could they not stand erect when the GREAT Korvayne is sexy as fuck and clad in fresh and fleek attire that’s not too conservative and not too slutty - it’s just right. With the cherry on top being, of course, the prestigious tag team title attuned to her wondrous waist.

“First things first…” And there it is. That iconic Korvayne smirk. Those pillowy lips peel into that snarky little grin we know all too well from the rich bitch. And with that peeling of the lips comes the peeling of some reporter's consciousness - the “Michael Jackson” effect, as some call it. One by one, reporters faint, unable to stand in the presence of the GREAT Korvayne and her ever-blossoming aura!

Kor rolls her eyes.

“Leave them. HEY! Don’t tend to them while I’m up here. All eyes on me.”

Staffers and medical techs are confused but obey.

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, first things first…. I can’t believe I’m gonna say this about Anarchy competitors, but respect to whatever their names are for shaving years off their lives to get a chance to tag with me. They showed up and showed out. If they showed that much effort in their Anarchy matches, they’d totally win a lot and be champions in that mudshow.”

She thinks about that for a moment, then shakes her head.

“Well, probably not. That would require me being on Anarchy and them wanting to impress me. That’s NOT gonna happen.”

She shrugs, then nods for the SIMP to come hither. He does, stopping three feet from her since he is not allowed to come any closer unless she says so. She extends a hand elegantly, and he deposits some rolled-up paper of some sort into it.

“But alas, there could only be one, and that one was indeed the strongest. That man is EDWARD THE GREAT!”

She pauses to let them applaud. They don’t applaud loudly enough. She glares at them encouragingly. They get the hint and give rousing applause.

“For the past week or so, I’ve been using my fantastic artistic abilities to create a poster for each of the would-be winners tonight. So, without further ado, I would like to officially introduce the OFFICIAL poster repping this new super kewl tag team led by yours truly.”

With tremendous showmanship, she only has to flick her wrist once, and the poster unfurls perfectly.



Cameras flash so fast and feverishly that the camera bulbs explode or whatever.

After posing with the poster for the greatest thirty seconds many reporters will have in their lives, she lies it down and beckons at an eager reporter.

“Korvayne! Oh my god! You pointed at me! Oh my god! Uh. Uh. Yes! Uh. Where is EDWARD? Shouldn’t he be out here celebrating with you?”

Korvayne shrugs.

“Fuck if I know. EDWINA may have hunted him down and is dragging him back home by the ear as we speak. Who knows?”

She looks at each door in the media press room.

“Let’s see if he’s around.”

Instead of yelling EDWARD’S name as one would sensibly do, she pounds her perky, cute boobs like King Kong and makes ridiculous caveman-ape hybrid noises.

End of scene unless EDWARD wants to show up and say some words to the world.

For long time... nothing happen.

Make Korvayne frown.



























Then—
















Door CRASH open and EDWARD charge in wearing XWF Tag Team Championship around waist and carrying HUGE FUCKING ROCK over head!

Reporters in front SCREAM and scatter!

EDWARD narrator know fear when EDWARD see fear.

This fear.

EDWARD stomp forward and SLAM rock onto floor.










Floor crack. Microphone wobble. Somebody coffee spill. 

Korvayne stare at rock like she confused.

Her gaze go from rock to EDWARD.

EDWARD motion for her to look at other side of rock. 

EDWARD beam.


























"EDWARD MAKE!"






















"EDWARD WIN BATTLE. EDWARD WIN SHINY. EDWARD MAKE ART.

NOW EDWARD PART OF ART TRIBE. 

THAT MAKE ART TRIBE STRONGEST TRIBE!"

EDWARD point at big warrior painted on rock.

"STRONGEST WARRIOR."

Then the spear woman.

"STRONGEST WOMAN WARRIOR."

EDWARD point at bodies under them.

"ANYONE COME TO TAKE SHINY FROM US..."

EDWARD point harder.

"THIS HAPPEN!"