Somewhere in Ohio moments before the start of Anarchy our scene opens up to shaky cellphone footage shot from inside a moving car. MEMC EC is behind the wheel, on hand grips the steering wheel while the other holds his phone.

MEMC EC: YO! WORD LIFE! I know Anarchy already started, but don't worry. Your boy the Main Eventer will not miss his main event; I'm on my way to CHICAGO!

He turns the camera towards the windshield.

MEMC EC: I left Ohio like... hours ago, Dawg.

The camera passes a highway sign.

WELCOME TO OHIO

MEMC EC: Motherfucker…

The scene fades out and the into for Anarchy begins.

XWF Anarchy 09 - 03 - 2026 LIVE FROM UNITED CENTER! CHICAGO, ILLINOIS JORDAN PENN - vs - JOHN BLADE "Warm-Up Match" The internal temperature of the ring starts at 95 degrees. Every thirty seconds, it will increase by a degree. The match will end when one competitor is pinned or submitted, or both competitors are boiled alive. OLEANDYR REITAN - vs - LATOYA HIXX As demanded by Latoya Hixx: “If Storm Goddess wins, they receive a(n Anarchy) tag team Championship (opportunity) at Relentless XI!” DOM DURANGO - vs - SAFARI STU MOST DANGEROUS GAME MATCH! The competitors start in a state-of-the-art safari zone, each armed with a weapon of their choice! The first one to hunt the other (in the form of securing a pinfall or submission) wins! 'SPOILED' SUMMER PAGE - vs - 'TOO FLY' KENNY STYLES - vs - SOLOMON KLINE - vs - 'THE FREAK' TOMMY WISH FATAL FOUR-WAY MATCH! PART ONE MISTER OZ - vs - MC EDGECRUSHER GAUNTLET MATCH - Singles PART TWO MISTER OZ - vs - The Man Known as @getouttamyringerson GAUNTLET MATCH - Singles If Oz loses, he is forced to represent Mark Zuckerberg at Relentless against Scoops McGee THE GRAND FINALE MISTER OZ - vs - VITA FREAKIN' VALENTEEN MEATHOOKS! OF! HORROR!

As Oz's theme hits, the first people to appear as the pyro turns into a fountain of sparks pouring down from the entrance, with Alysia and Fuzen, wife and daughter, walking out in white and black ball gown length dresses, with the two grabbing each other's hands and spinning each other to opposite sides of the entrance.

Oswald steps out and stands between them, holding his hands out to them both, holding their hands as they walk towards the ring. The women waving as if they were in a pageant. Once to the ring apron, he'd lift them both at the same time, before he jumped up after them, only to sit on the middle rope for them to get inside without problems.

His wife going towards the announcer to ask for a microphone, and as Oz is taking in the cheers and jeers, he holds his left hand out just as she is offering it to him, as he grabs it slowly and brings it to his chest, as his wife and daughter gesture for everyone to quiet down. Once done, he put the microphone up towards his mouth and begin to speak.

"LADIES, GENTLEMEN, AND ALL THOSE IN-BETWEEN! I will be your Master of Ceremonies as well as a participant later in the night, MISTER OZ AND WELCOME TO CHICAGO'S STORIED UNITED CENTER!"

The crowd goes immediately to pop as they cheer loudly, while he heard some jeers, he motioned for them to quiet down.

"Tonight, you're going to see some amazing performances! From the lowest lows of Anarchy's depths we're going to have John Blade vs Jordan Penn to my gauntlet of matches! There's not going to be a single dull moment! So! Without further ado! Let's bring out our first contestants for our first match, shall we!?"

He says as he helps Alysia and Fuzen climb out of the ring to make way for the first match before all three are seen walking towards the backstage area.




The Time is now hit's as John Blade walks out on stage. He talks to the cameraman and bounces a little. He holds up his “Never Give Up” logo flag and tosses it to the fans. He salutes and runs straight down towards the ring. He bounces off the ropes side to side and he holds up his “Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect” shirt. He takes off his hat and tosses his shirt to the fans, hands his Chain to the ref, and waits for his opponent to arrive








Darkness. Silence. A pause.

"Hey, that your boyfriend?"

"True Believers" by DON BROCO feat. Sam Carter starts as the crowd starts a deafening chorus of boos. A spotlight.

"And that big red flag they waving, it's your choice."

The automatons, bearing their respective symbols on their masks appear, two on either side of the spotlight. X, O, Triangle and Square. A helicopter hovers now. From it comes a ladder that lowers down onto the spotlight, carrying Jordan Penn in his masked Director persona. He descends fully and kneels as his minions follow suit.

"All the true believers, All the true believers, All the true believers..."

"WAKE THE FUCK UP!"

In that moment, he removes his mask as pyro explodes onto the stage behind him. Two other men join the entourage now, Greg Brune and Wallace. Jordan strides single-mindedly and quickly toward the ring, flanked by his four masked and two unmasked men. As he reaches the edge of the ring, he surveys the crowd, taking in their boos and letting it fuel him. A wry smile etched across his face, he laughs and looks to his men. The masked men get on all fours and form a human staircase for him. He walks across their backs with purpose and enters the ring. Wallace nods, signaling for the masked men to head backstage. Wallace and Greg Brune take their places on either side of the ring as Jordan mockingly does a pageant wave to the crowd, met with more booing. He flips off the audience in at least three different ways before leaning on the turnbuckle and looking out once more at the crowd and waiting for the match to begin.

JORDAN PENN - vs - JOHN BLADE "Warm-Up Match" The internal temperature of the ring starts at 95 degrees. Every thirty seconds, it will increase by a degree. The match will end when one competitor is pinned or submitted, or both competitors are boiled alive.

TODD: The bell has rung and immediately John Blade is looking across the ring at Jordan Penn like he's found somebody he can finally take his frustrations out on!

BAMA T: And who could blame him? Last Anarchy, Charlie Nickles beat the hell out of John Blade. Tonight, Jordan Penn gets his turn. That's a hell of a coincidence, Todd.

TODD: You don't believe in coincidences.

BAMA T: Not in the XWF!

Blade storms across the ring.

Penn doesn't move.

Blade throws the first right hand—

PENN DUCKS.

Penn answers with a vicious forearm across the jaw.

Blade barely moves.

Penn hits him again.

And again.

Blade finally fires back with a massive right hand that catches Penn across the cheek and sends him stumbling backward into the ropes.

TODD: And Blade just rocked Penn!

Blade charges.

RUNNING SHOULDER BLOCK!

Penn hits the mat.

Blade bounces off the ropes again—

SECOND SHOULDER BLOCK!

Penn rolls toward the corner.

Blade follows him.

BAMA T: That's what John Blade does. He's 251 pounds of brute force, and if you let him get moving, you're going to have a very bad evening.

Blade grabs Penn by the throat and hauls him upright.

SPINEBUSTER!

The ring shakes.

Blade hooks the leg.

1!

2!!

PENN KICKS OUT.

Blade immediately sits Penn up and starts hammering him with forearms.

TODD: Blade is unloading!

Penn covers up.

Blade grabs him by the wrist and whips him across the ring.

Penn hits the turnbuckle hard.

Blade charges—

Penn moves.

Blade crashes chest-first into the corner.

Penn grabs the back of his head.

DDT!

Blade's face hits the canvas.

Penn doesn't cover.

He sits beside Blade.

And smiles.

BAMA T: There it is again.

TODD: What?

BAMA T: That sick and twisted smile of his!

Penn slowly wipes blood from the corner of his mouth.

Then he looks at his own hand.

He looks at Blade.

And he smiles wider.

BAMA T: Jordan Penn doesn't mind getting hurt.

Penn grabs Blade by the hair and pulls him up.

FOREARM SMASH!

Blade staggers.

FOREARM!

Blade staggers again.

SPINNING BACKFIST!

Blade collapses to one knee.

Penn grabs the back of Blade's head and drives a knee into his face.

TODD: Penn is taking Blade apart!

BAMA T: And he's enjoying every second of it!

The ringside temperature display flashes:

95°F → 96°F

Thirty seconds gone.

Blade suddenly explodes upward.

LOU THESZ PRESS!

Blade mounts Penn and starts throwing punches.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Penn covers his face.

Blade stands.

LEAPING CLOTHESLINE!

Penn goes down.

Blade pulls him up.

WHITE NOISE!

Penn crashes onto his back.

Blade screams toward the crowd.

BAMA T: Blade's got the momentum back!

Blade hooks Penn's leg.

1!



2!



PENN KICKS OUT!!!

Blade doesn't hesitate.

He grabs Penn by the waist.

GERMAN SUPLEX!

Penn lands hard.

Blade keeps the waistlock.

SECOND GERMAN!

Penn's body folds.

Blade keeps hold.

THIRD GERMAN!

Penn rolls through and lands on his feet.

Blade turns—

FLYING KNEE!

TODD: OH MY!

Blade drops.

Penn stands over him.

The temperature display changes again.

96°F → 97°F

Penn grabs Blade's legs.

He drags him toward the center.

Penn stomps the knee.

Again.

Again.

Then Penn drops down and begins hammering Blade's thigh with closed-fist strikes.

BAMA T: You know what I think Penn is doing?

TODD: What?

BAMA T: He's taking the legs away from Blade!

Penn stomps the knee one more time.

Then he grabs Blade's ankle.

TODD: Look at this!

Penn twists the leg.

Blade screams and immediately kicks Penn away.

Penn rolls backward.

Blade crawls toward the ropes.

Penn gets up.

Blade gets up.

They meet in the middle.

Blade throws a punch.

Penn slips it.

SPINNING BACKFIST!

Blade reels.

Penn grabs him.

SUPLEX!

Blade lands hard.

Penn immediately rolls through and grabs Blade again.

SECOND SUPLEX!

Penn rolls through again.

THIRD!

TODD: Three suplexes!

But Jordan Penn isn't finished yet.

He grabs Blade by the wrist.

FOURTH!

Blade crashes down.

Penn stands over him.

97°F → 98°F

BAMA T: It's getting hotter in there.

TODD: And somehow Jordan Penn looks more comfortable.

Penn takes one of his black gloves off.

He slowly pulls it free.

He looks at it.

Then at Blade.

And slaps Blade across the face with the glove.

BAMA T: Oh, come on!

Penn slaps him again.

Blade spits toward Penn.

Penn laughs.

Blade swings.

Penn catches the arm.

LARIAT—NO!

Penn ducks.

REVERSE DDT!

Blade's head hits the canvas.

Penn floats into the cover.

1!





2!!




BLADE KICKS OUT!

Penn sits up.

He looks annoyed.

Then he smiles again.

TODD: That might have been the closest we've come to a fall!

Penn climbs to the second rope.

Blade is barely moving.

Penn waits.

Blade slowly rises.

SMALL PRINT!

DIVING SIDE HEAD KICK!

BAMA T: RIGHT ON THE JAW!

Blade drops like a sack of concrete.

Penn rolls to the corner.

He watches.

Blade pulls himself up using the ropes.

Penn charges.

WHIP CRACK!

RAinmaker-style CLOTHESLINE!

Blade is turned inside out.

Penn doesn't cover.

Instead Penn grabs Blade by the wrist.

He pulls him up.

Blade can barely stand.

Penn whispers something into his ear.

Blade throws a desperate punch.

Penn catches it.

HEADBUTT!

Blade drops to his knees.

Penn grabs his head.

FOREARM!

FOREARM!

FOREARM!

Blade collapses.

98°F → 99°F

BAMA T: We're approaching triple digits!

TODD: And Blade is approaching unconsciousness!

Penn grabs Blade and drags him upright.

Blade suddenly fires back!

SPINEBUSTER!

Penn crashes down!

Blade collapses on top of him.

1!








2!!



3-




NO!!!!



PENN GETS A SHOULDER UP!

TODD: NO!

BAMA T: THAT WAS CLOSE!

Blade pounds the mat.

He gets to his feet.

He grabs Penn.

SPIN-OUT POWERBOMB!

Penn lands hard!

Blade hooks both legs!

1!







2!!




PENN KICKS OUT!

Blade stares at the referee in disbelief.

BAMA T: John Blade cannot believe it!

Blade grabs Penn.

He pumps his fist.

FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE!

Blade bounces off the ropes—

Penn sits up.

PENN CATCHES HIM!

FLYING KNEE!

Blade falls backward.

Penn is on him instantly.

TODD: PENN IS UP!

Penn drags Blade toward the corner.

He climbs.

Blade is on one knee.

Penn waits.

99°F → 100°F

The crowd reacts to the temperature hitting triple digits.

Penn jumps.

SMALL PRINT!

The diving kick catches Blade flush.

Blade crumples.

Penn grabs him again.

FINAL CUT!

TODD: FINAL CUT!

Blade is launched through the air and lands hard!

Penn covers!

1!

2!!

3!!!

Winner - Jordan Penn

Penn doesn't celebrate.

He remains crouched over John Blade.

The temperature display flashes:

100°F

Penn looks up at it.

Then back down at Blade.

He grabs Blade by the jaw and forces his head upward.

Penn releases him.

Blade rolls onto his side, exhausted.

Penn stands.

He looks toward the hard camera.

TODD: JORDAN PENN HAS JUST SENT THE MESSAGE!

BAMA T: Charlie Nickles better be listening.

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqHSGVtfXhc[/video]

Just then, “Bullet With A Name” by Nonpoint begins blaring through the speakers! Charlie’s X-tron video comes to life!

Moments later, The Nickleman himself hits the stage.

Standing tall at the top of the ramp…

With a swinging noose hanging from his fist.

TODD: It looks like Charlie got the message, and he’s coming out to send one of his own!

Jordan Penn rushes towards the ropes and starts yelling at Charlie, pointing at him and demanding that he come down to the ring for a proper face-off.

But Charlie Nickles wears a madman’s smirk. The Nickleman’s wild gaze shifts from Jordan Penn, then to the noose in his hand. After a few seconds, he looks back at Jordan Penn one last time: before he slowly walks backwards into the gorilla position. Jordan Penn stands in the ring furious, stomping and sweating as John Blade only now begins stirring again.

To take out his frustrations, Jordan grabs John- setting him up for an

EMPIRE KICK!

John Blade falls back to the mat, unresponsive as Jordan Penn fumes in the ring.

TODD: Jordan Penn is downright itching to get at Charlie! He’s like a dog on the first day of pheasant season…just tugging on the leash!

BAMA T: But Charlie’s playing mind games with him, Todd! It’s a Classic Nickleman tactic!

TODD: I, for one, can’t wait to see these two superstars finally come to blows!

BAMA T: It’s going to be one of the most anticipated matches on the Relentless card, there’s no doubt!






When The Strom is Coming hits Latoya Hixx. they heard a voice laugh in the background and saw blue lights from the entrance and some smoke and rainfall coming down she walked onto the middle stage flexed her muscles walked straight down towards the aisle slapped a few XWF fans got inside the ring and dim the lights in the ring and she flexes her arms once more and spread her arms and climbs on the top rope and yell at her fans and tells them to let's go and climbs down off the ropes and waits for her Opponent to arrive.



Oleandyr walks down to the ring, their championship belt around their waist. They give some fans high-fives before they slide into the ring. Then, they take off their belt and give it to the referee as they await for the bell to ring!

OLEANDYR REITAN - vs - LATOYA HIXX As demanded by Latoya Hixx: “If Storm Goddess wins, they receive a(n Anarchy) tag team Championship (opportunity) at Relentless XI!”

TODD: Here we go! Oleandyr Reitan is making her singles debut tonight, and the stakes could not possibly be higher!

BAMA T: And she's about to find out that there's a pretty big difference between being carried to a championship victory by a legend like Centurion and standing across the ring from somebody like Latoya Hixx all on your own!

Oleandyr approaches cautiously.

Latoya doesn't.

HIXX CHARGES!

A hard forearm catches Oleandyr across the face.

Oleandyr stumbles backward.

Latoya grabs her.

BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!

Oleandyr hits the mat hard.

TODD: Latoya Hixx wasting absolutely no time!

Latoya pulls Oleandyr up by the hair.

CHOP!

CHOP!

CHOP!

Oleandyr staggers into the ropes.

Latoya whips her across.

CLOTHESLINE!

Oleandyr goes down.

Latoya drops on top of her and starts hammering away with forearms.

BAMA T: This is what experience looks like, Todd. Latoya knows exactly where she is, exactly what she's doing, and exactly what she wants.

Latoya pulls Oleandyr up again.

NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!

Oleandyr folds on impact.

Latoya floats directly into a cover.

1!







2!









OLEANDYR KICKS OUT!

TODD: And Oleandyr survives!

BAMA T: Survives is the right word!

Latoya immediately grabs her.

HEADBUTT!

Oleandyr drops to her knees.

Latoya backs into the corner.

She charges—

OLEANDYR MOVES!

Latoya crashes into the turnbuckles!

TODD: OLEANDYR GOT OUT OF THE WAY JUST IN TIME!

Latoya spins around.

Oleandyr instinctively grabs her…

INTO A ROLL-UP!

BAMA T: WHAT?!

Oleandyr has Latoya’s shoulders on the mat!

1!

2!!

3!!!

Winner- Oleandyr Reitan

Oleandyr immediately rolls away from Latoya, staring at the referee in complete disbelief.

Latoya sits up.

Her expression changes from confusion to absolute fury.

TODD: SHE DID IT! OLEANDYR REITAN HAS WON HER SINGLES DEBUT- AND SHE DID IT IN A MINUTE FLAT!

BAMA T: No. No, no, no. Don't tell me she beat Latoya Hixx. I just watched this match with my own eyes! She didn’t win anything, she just got insanely lucky…AGAIN!

TODD: The record book will say differently!

BAMA T: Oleandyr’s clearly still green as grass!

Latoya slams her hands against the mat.

Oleandyr scrambles toward the ropes, still looking stunned by what just happened.

TODD: That's rookie instinct! That's opportunity! That's being in the right place at exactly the right time!

BAMA T: Latoya Hixx dominated this match from bell to bell!

TODD: And Oleandyr got the only three-count that mattered!

Latoya points angrily toward Oleandyr.

Oleandyr points back.

Then, almost sheepishly, she raises her hands in victory.


Oz is seen with his family and his servants, helping him get ready for the matches. Usually he doesn't wrap his hands, but this time, he insisted. They were in the middle of wrapping his hands and some of this forearm, looking towards his wife and daughter.

"Tonight is going to either be a lot of fun, or a self-sacrifice. Either way, I'm going to go down swinging for the fences, and hoping breaking some of them down with my bare hands, smashing their brains against said metaphorical fence. I'll see you two when tonight is over. You don't need to continue being here for support. I always know you two are here for me."

He wanted to make a gesture, but his people were wrapping him. So, the two women hugged him as he smiled and they continued to stay in support of him as he gets readied for the gauntlet of matches coming up.



We cut back to the Edgecrusher who is visibly furious. The car isn't moving. A massive line of cars stretches ahead of him.

MEMC EC: Dawg... this is a disaster.

He pounds his fist on the steering wheel as a horn blast from behind him.

MEMC EC: I'm trying, I'm trying.

Another horn.

MEMC EC: Honking aint getting me to my main event any quicker.

The Edgecrusher looks down at his GPS.

GPS: Estimated arrival is 11:47 PM.

The Edgecrusher starts laying on his horn.

MEMC EC: LET'S GO!

The scene fades out and back to Anarchy.

The lights in the arena cut out entirely and are replaced by the harsh green glow of night vision filters splashed across the big screen. The ring has been removed entirely, replaced by a sprawling, fenced-in safari biome built specifically for tonight, complete with tall grass, a shallow watering hole, and a single dead tree standing dead center like a monument to bad decisions.

TODD: Bama, I have never seen anything like this in my entire broadcasting career.

BAMA: That's because nobody has ever been dumb enough to book it before, baby!



The drums of "Africa" by Toto rumble through the PA system and a camouflage painted Jeep bursts through a fake wall of foliage at the top of the ramp, crashing down into the safari zone itself. Safari Stu leaps out of the passenger seat mid roll, already waving to the crowd, and high fives the gorilla currently driving the Jeep in a tight donut around the watering hole. A flood of assorted wildlife pours out behind him. Stu tosses a monkey to a kid at ringside, shoots off finger guns toward the hard camera, and slings his Model 7 Winchester Rifle over one shoulder like he's just here for a nice afternoon hike.

TODD: The rifle is a legal weapon under the stipulation tonight, Bama.

BAMA: Everything's legal tonight, baby! That's the whole point!!



Then the war drums hit. No fog, no lights, no gimmick. Dom Durango simply walks out through the curtain dressed head to toe in black, plodding down the ramp with the energy of a man who has already decided how this ends. He steps over the wreckage of Stu's Jeep without so much as glancing at it and climbs over the safari zone fence like it personally offended him. Tucked under one arm is a wooden crate that rattles and screeches with every step.

BAMA: What in the world is in that box, Todd?!

TODD: According to my notes here, that's Dom's weapon of choice. A flock of genetically modified killer Dodo birds.

BAMA: I thought those things were extinct, baby!!

TODD: They were. But Dom somehow has the power to 3D print dinosaur meat and use the Shroud of Turin as a bib.

DOM DURANGO - vs - SAFARI STU MOST DANGEROUS GAME MATCH! The competitors start in a state-of-the-art safari zone, each armed with a weapon of their choice! The first one to hunt the other (in the form of securing a pinfall or submission) wins!

The horn sounds and both men lock eyes across the tall grass. Stu raises the rifle in mock salute. Dom does not blink. He simply drops the crate and kicks the latch open.

What comes out is somehow both stupid and horrifying at the same time. Six overweight, flightless birds the size of golden retrievers come barreling out of the crate shrieking, their beaks snapping like bear traps. Stu's eyes go wide and he takes off sprinting through the grass, the birds hot on his heels, while Dom simply walks after the chaos at his own unbothered pace.

BAMA: He's being chased by prehistoric murder chickens and Dom is just... walking, baby!!

TODD: Only thing Durango runs for is Dom Durango’s Meat-filled Meatballs(™). The only meatball double-filled with mystery meat! Hashtag ad.

Stu vaults over a fallen log and spins around, firing a warning shot into the air that sends every bird except one scattering into the underbrush. The last dodo lunges and clamps its beak directly onto Stu's forearm, and Stu screams something that sounds vaguely Australian and deeply inappropriate for television before finally shaking the thing loose and drop kicking it into the watering hole with a splash the crowd pops big for.

TODD: He just punted a dodo bird into a pond, Bama!!

BAMA: That is going in my highlight reel forever, baby!!

Dom uses the distraction to close the distance, catching Stu with a brutal European uppercut the moment he turns around. Stu's rifle goes flying into the grass and Dom follows up immediately with a forearm smash that puts Stu on the ground. Dom does not let up, driving stomp after stomp into Stu's ribs with the flat, joyless efficiency of a man clocking in for a shift he hates.

Stu rolls away at the last second and scrambles up the dead tree in the center of the safari zone, using the height to buy himself a moment to breathe. Dom stares up at him, unimpressed, and simply starts climbing after him with the same total lack of urgency he's shown all night.

BAMA: He's climbing a tree in a suit, Todd. A whole suit, baby!!

TODD: I don't think Dom Durango owns anything else.

Stu waits until Dom is nearly at the top before leaping off with a picture perfect frog splash, driving Dom straight down through a lower branch and into the dirt below. Both men crash hard, and for a moment neither of them moves. The remaining dodos begin to circle back in, drawn by the noise, pacing the edge of the grass like they're waiting for their turn.

Stu recovers first, dragging himself over for a cover.

1!








2!








Kickout, and Dom shoves Stu off him with a snarl.

TODD: We are two counts into hunting season and this thing has already gone off the rails completely.

BAMA: The rails were never on this train to begin with, baby!!

Stu retrieves his rifle from the grass and levels it, but Dom is already moving, closing the gap with a double leg takedown that drives Stu into the dirt before he can line up a shot. Dom wrenches the rifle away and, rather than use it as intended, simply cracks Stu across the skull with the stock of it like a two by four. Stu goes limp for a second, blood immediately welling from a gash above his eyebrow, and the mood in the arena shifts for the first time all night. The comedy drains out of it fast.

TODD: That was not a wrestling move, Bama. That was just violence.

BAMA: I don't think Dom knows the difference anymore, baby.

Dom tosses the busted rifle aside and drags Stu up by the hair, wrapping a choke around his throat that has nothing to do with putting him to sleep. Stu claws desperately at Dom's forearm, face turning a deep shade of red, and just as his eyes begin to roll back the dodos finally close in and start pecking at Dom's exposed calves. Dom releases the hold with a roar of pain, giving Stu just enough oxygen and just enough time to fight back.

Stu surges up and connects with a crane kick that snaps Dom's head back, following immediately with a tiger suplex that plants Dom hard on the packed dirt. He climbs to the broken remains of the dead tree and launches himself off with the Phoenix Splash, his finisher, connecting flush.

1!









2!












Dom kicks out, and the crowd loses their minds.

TODD: THE PHOENIX SPLASH CONNECTED AND DOM DURANGO KICKED OUT!!

BAMA: I don't think that man knows how to stay down, baby!!

Both men are running on fumes now, blood and dirt covering them both, the surviving dodos shrieking somewhere off in the tall grass. Stu goes for a Dragon Suplex, trying to finish this once and for all, but Dom fights the lift with pure desperate strength and drives an elbow back into Stu's temple to break the grip.

The pair scuffle in the mud until they break, Stu spots his rifle in the dirt as Durango charges.

He leaps for it!

But a Dodo runs in and snatches the rifle in his beak!

Safari Stu: “... Clever Girl…”.

TODD: CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!!!

The impact folds Stu completely in half and he hits the ground like a puppet with the strings cut. Dom does not go for an immediate cover. He simply stands over Stu's motionless body for a long moment, breathing hard, before finally dropping down and hooking the leg.

1!
















2!















3!

Winner - Dom Durango

TODD: He got him! He got him, Bama! Dom Durango has hunted Safari Stu!!

BAMA: What a war, baby! What an absolute war!!

Dom does not celebrate. He simply rises to his feet, steps over Stu's body without a word, and walks back toward the fence line as the surviving dodos scatter out of his path. Somewhere behind him, Stu's gorilla driver climbs out of the wrecked Jeep to check on his fallen friend, cradling Stu's head gently as the medics rush the safari zone. The lights fade to black on Dom's silhouette disappearing back up the ramp, alone, exactly the way he arrived.




The lights dim as the opening drums of She's My Collar roll through the arena.

Miss Furry comes through the curtain wearing the Anarchy Championship.

Already waiting in the ring is an easel holding a large framed something hidden beneath a black silk cloth.

She calmly walks the ramp and slips between the ropes with minimal effort.

Furry takes a microphone and walks directly over to the easel as the music dies down.

"So. Apathy beat Atara Raven. Clean.

Which means she earned the shot at me. That was always the deal."

Furry glances down at the Anarchy Championship.

"Dick's problem is that he made a bad bet. Decided Atara was gonna win before they even had the match."

Furry pulls away the black cloth.

Underneath is the expensive Relentless artwork.


"Four hundred and eighty thousand dollars in advertising.

All for a match that wasn't even booked."

Furry looks over the poster.

"Then Apathy wins, and four hundred and eighty thousand dollars blows up in his face."

She looks toward the camera.

"So Dick tries his hardest to push her toward the Revolution Championship because he'd already paid for that."

She points toward Atara on the poster.

"But Apathy said no.

She chose me."

Furry reaches behind the frame and produces a cheap vinyl decal. Apathy's picture is a fraction of the size of either woman on the original artwork, with **+ APATHY** printed beneath it.

"I fail to see the problem."

Furry peels away the backing.

She holds Apathy's decal between the two women for a moment.

Then lowers it.

Lower.

Until—


Apathy lands in the bottom corner, just above the sponsor logos.



Furry steps beside the poster and frames it with both arms and a smile.

"There."

The crowd reacts nearly down the middle.

"Twenty-five thousand of these costs around five hundred dollars. Before shipping.

Slap them on the posters, the arena wraps, hell, even the billboard."

Furry points toward the tiny Apathy.

"Apathy gets the shot she earned.

Atara stays exactly where you already paid to put her.

And you don't have to throw four hundred and eighty thousand dollars in the trash."

She looks toward the entrance.

"You're welcome, Dick.

And before anybody starts questioning why I would want this...

One challenger becomes two? Fine. That's kinda been my whole run with this thing, hasn't it?

They give me a problem.

I find the solution."

Furry looks toward Apathy's tiny picture.

"You beat Atara. You earned your shot. Dick tried pointing you somewhere else and you still chose me.

I noticed.

And no, I'm not going to tell you that was the wrong choice...

I'd rather let you figure that out on your own."

The crowd pops before the reaction quickly gives way to boos.

"So, Dick."

She points toward the poster.

"I fixed your marketing.

Apathy gets what she earned. Atara gets what you paid for.

And at Relentless... I get them both.

You just need to make the stupid poster official."

The crowd is still reacting to Miss Furry's final words when the arena lights shift.

A different theme begins to play.

Dick Lichter emerges from the backstage area.

He stops at the top of the ramp.

He looks around the arena.

Then down.

Then up.

He smiles.

Lichter slowly raises one hand.

The crowd boos.

He nods approvingly.

Lichter: Oh, wonderful.

He begins walking toward the ring.

Lichter: I was beginning to worry you people had forgotten who actually runs this place.

The boos intensify.

Lichter grins.

Lichter: There it is.

He gestures toward the crowd.

Lichter: Much better.

Lichter reaches the ring and climbs the steps.

He looks up at the large Relentless artwork.

His eyes narrow.

Then he looks at the tiny Apathy decal sitting in the bottom corner.

Lichter's smile disappears.

Lichter: You know, Miss Furry...

He points at the poster.

Lichter: I don't think you understand what you just did.

A few cheers from the crowd.

Lichter immediately shakes his head.

Lichter: No, no, no. Don't encourage her.

He turns back toward the poster.

Lichter: You think this is clever.

He points toward the tiny Apathy decal.

Lichter: You think you've found some adorable little accounting trick to make my problem disappear.

Lichter adjusts his jacket.

Lichter: And normally, I would explain to you why you're wrong.

He smiles.

Lichter: But unfortunately...

A pause.

Lichter: You're right.

The crowd pops.

Lichter looks disgusted by the reaction.

Lichter: Apathy won.

He holds up one finger.

Lichter: She beat Atara Raven.

Another finger.

Lichter: She earned the championship opportunity.

Another finger.

Lichter: And she made it abundantly clear that she wants Miss Furry's Anarchy Championship.

Lichter slowly turns toward Furry.

Lichter: So I suppose congratulations are in order.

He gives Furry an exaggerated, sarcastic round of applause.

Lichter: You get Apathy.

Furry smiles.

Lichter's smile returns.

Lichter: Unfortunately, you don't get Atara Raven.

The crowd quiets.

Lichter takes a breath.

Lichter: Because after what Apathy did to her... Atara Raven cannot currently clear the medical requirements necessary to compete at Relentless.

The crowd reacts.

Lichter nods.

Lichter: That's right.

He looks toward the entrance.

Lichter: The woman you were all expecting to see at Relentless isn't medically cleared to be there…and it’s all Apathy’s fault! Not mine.

He turns back toward Furry.

Lichter: Apathy versus Miss Furry.

The crowd cheers.

Lichter: One-on-one.

He points at the Anarchy Championship.

Lichter: For that.

Furry raises the championship slightly.

Lichter looks at it.

Then at Furry.

Then back at the belt.

Lichter: At Relentless.

The crowd gets louder.

Lichter waits.

Then his expression changes.

A smug little smile creeps across his face.

Lichter: But that creates another problem.

Furry's smile fades slightly.

Lichter turns toward the hard camera.

Lichter: You see, Apathy didn't just ruin my plans for the Anarchy Championship.

He raises the microphone.

Lichter: She also ruined my plans for the Revolution Division.

Boos.

Lichter: I had a very specific plan.

He gestures toward himself.

Lichter: A very expensive plan.

He pats his chest.

Lichter: A very intelligent plan.

He smiles.

Lichter: A plan that, frankly, was going to make all of you considerably more money than you deserve to have.

The crowd boos.

Lichter laughs.

Lichter: But Apathy decided to win.

He sighs dramatically.

Lichter: So now I have to improvise.

Lichter turns toward the entrance.

Lichter: Tonight, there is a Fatal Fourway scheduled as our co-main event.

He looks around.

Lichter: Four competitors.

He smiles.

Lichter: One winner.

Lichter points toward the ring.

Lichter: And because I am such a generous man...

He pauses.

Lichter: That match is no longer simply a Fatal Fourway.

The crowd begins to buzz.

Lichter: Tonight's Fatal Fourway is now a NUMBER ONE CONTENDER'S MATCH for the Revolution Championship.

The arena erupts.

Lichter waits for the reaction.

Then casually straightens his jacket.

Lichter: You're welcome.

Lichter turns toward Furry.

Lichter: So let's review, shall we?

He points at the poster.

Lichter: At Relentless, Apathy gets Miss Furry- woman-o ey woman-o!

He points at the Anarchy Championship.

Lichter: The Anarchy Championship is on the line.

He points toward the entrance.

Lichter: And tonight, four people will fight for the right to challenge for the Revolution Championship.

Lichter looks at Furry.

Lichter: All because one woman couldn't simply follow the plan.

He shakes his head.

Lichter: Honestly.

Lichter takes a few steps closer to Furry.

Lichter: You know what I find most irritating about Apathy?

He doesn't wait for an answer.

Lichter: She keeps winning.

The crowd cheers.

Lichter rolls his eyes.

Lichter: It's terribly inconvenient.

He looks at Furry.

Lichter: But it's also made your job much easier.

Lichter gestures toward the championship.

Lichter: Because now you don't have to wonder whether you're defending against Apathy.

He smiles.

Lichter: You are.

A beat.

Lichter: And you don't have to wonder whether Atara Raven is going to be standing across from you.

He shakes his head.

Lichter: She isn't.

Lichter looks directly into the camera.

Lichter: Because Apathy made sure of that.

He lowers the microphone.

Then looks back at the tiny decal.

Lichter reaches over.

He carefully peels Apathy's little sticker from the corner of the poster.

He holds it between two fingers.

Lichter: You know what, Miss Furry?

He looks at the decal.

Lichter: Keep it.

He tosses it toward Furry.

Lichter: Because at Relentless, we're going to find out whether Apathy belongs in the corner of the poster...

Lichter points at the Anarchy Championship.

Lichter: Or at the center of it.

Lichter drops the microphone.

He smiles.

Then turns and walks toward the ropes.

The crowd rains boos down upon him as Miss Furry stands there stunned!


TODD: Four incredible competitors, one opportunity, and a champion watching very closely from backstage.

BAMA: You know Marisol Vilaro has got one eye on that monitor tonight, baby. Her and Summer Page got history that goes way back, and it did not end pretty.

TODD: A lot of people forget those two used to be close. Whoever wins this walks into that title picture with a story already written.



S&M By Rhianna will play throughout the arena as the crowd cheers while Summer walks down the aisle. Summer gets to the ring side and walks up the ring stairs. Summer looks out at the crowd and raises her arms out to the crowd as the crowd cheers louder. Summer turns her attention to inside the ring where she motions to the referee to open the bottom and middle ropes so they can enter. Summer walks over to the closest ring corner and climbs up to the middle turnbuckle.

[size=medium][font=Courier New]

[size=medium][font=Courier New]
It shows Tommy in the shadows in a corridor somewhere on the X-Tron in a mask of some sort, and he heads down to the to the entrance. Once the funky intro breaks into "PAIN MADE TO ORDER", Tommy comes out headbanging to the song and he walks down and gives people some high fives, and even flicking off some people in the process. He then slides into the ring, and takes the mask off and sits in the corner, as his theme stops playing and he sits there with no emotion as he awaits his opp.



As “Bigger Than Everything” hits, Kenny walks onto the stage wearing his signature shades with a confident grin. He takes a moment to soak in the crowd before making his way to the ring, slapping hands with fans along the barricade. At ringside, he jumps onto the apron and springboards over the top rope before climbing the second turnbuckle and throwing his arms out with a smile.



The lights go out. Fire surrounds the stage. The X-Tron flickers to life. A heartbeat monitor flatlines. Beep.

“Antivist” by Bring Me The Horizon blasts throughout the arena. The X-Tron features key moments from his career, namely making people eat finishers and kendo sticks.

MIDDLE FINGERS UP, IF YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK!


Solomon Kline appears on stage on his blue Harley Davidson motorcycle! Flames rise up all around him. He rides his bike down the ramp and the flames subside, replaced by snow-like pyro raining down from the ceiling. He rides his bike to the ring and goes around to each side, raising his middle fingers as the song lyrics denote and encouraging the crowd to join in and sing along with his gesture.

As he makes his way to the last side of the ring, he parks his bike with a kickstand and slides under the bottom rope.

IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN THE WORDS THAT YOU PREACH

GET OFF YOUR SCREENS AND ONTO THE STREETS! THERE WILL BE NO PEACEFUL REVOLUTION!

NO WAR WITHOUT BLOOD!

Solomon ascends the turnbuckle and looks around the room, taking in the cheers of the crowd before dropping down awaiting the start of the match.

BAMA: Look at this lineup, Todd! Every single one of these people can steal the show tonight!!

TODD: And only one of them walks out as number one contender.

'SPOILED' SUMMER PAGE - vs - 'TOO FLY' KENNY STYLES - vs - SOLOMON KLINE - vs - 'THE FREAK' TOMMY WISH FATAL FOUR-WAY MATCH!

The bell rings and immediately Kenny Styles and Solomon Kline collide in the center of the ring with a mutual shoulder tackle that sends neither man moving, the two biggest bodies in the match testing each other early. Tommy Wish uses the distraction to slide outside and grab his kendo stick from under the ring, but Summer Page cuts him off at the apron with a slingshot suplex that plants him hard on the floor before he can even get his hands on the weapon.

TODD: Summer Page wasting no time neutralizing the biggest threat in this match early!!

BAMA: She's smart, baby! Cerebral! She knows Tommy with that stick is trouble for everybody!!

Back inside, Kenny finally gets the better of the power exchange with a series of rapid strikes, finishing with an enzuigiri that drops Solomon to a knee. Kenny climbs to the top rope looking for Turbulence, but Solomon rolls clear at the last second and Kenny is forced to land on his feet, only to eat a spear out of nowhere that folds him completely in half.

BAMA: SPEAR! SPEAR FROM SOLOMON KLINE! Kenny Styles just got turned inside out, baby!!

Solomon covers.

1!














2!











Kickout, and Tommy Wish is already back on the apron with the kendo stick in hand. He cracks Solomon across the back the moment he stands, the sound echoing through the arena, and follows with a stiff uppercut that sends Solomon stumbling into the corner. Tommy is relentless with the stick now, whipping it across Solomon's chest again and again while the referee calls for the weapon to be dropped.

TODD: Tommy Wish is a completely different animal when he's got that kendo stick in his hands.

BAMA: I don't think he's ever planning on giving it up willingly, baby!!

Summer slides back in and catches Tommy from behind with a tornado DDT that sends the kendo stick clattering into the ropes. She wastes no time chaining offense together, hitting a snap German suplex on Tommy followed immediately by a slingshot into a code red that gets the crowd rising out of their seats.

1!








2!




Kickout from Tommy, and Summer is visibly frustrated for just a moment before composing herself.

Kenny Styles, recovered enough to move, springboards in off the ropes and connects with the Phenomenal Forearm, his Gate Closed, directly on Summer, sending her rolling to the outside. He barely has time to celebrate before Solomon Kline catches him with a full nelson slam that plants him in the center of the ring.

TODD: Solomon Kline is an absolute wrecking machine tonight!!

BAMA: 6'6" of pure bad attitude, baby!!

Solomon drags Kenny up for what looks like the setup for Crimson Dawn, but Kenny slips free at the last second and rolls him up in a small package for a shockingly close near fall that has the whole building buzzing. Kenny follows up immediately with a standing shooting star press, but Solomon gets a knee up just in time and Kenny crashes down chest first with a sickening thud.

Outside the ring, Summer Page uses the ring apron to pull herself up just as Tommy Wish charges the barricade, and she side steps at the last possible second, sending Tommy crashing hard into the steel steps shoulder first. She rolls him back inside and climbs to the top rope, connecting with her Most Perfect Moonsault Ever for a two count that Tommy somehow survives, kicking out at the very last instant.

BAMA: MPME! The Most Perfect Moonsault Ever and Tommy Wish kicks out?! Baby, my heart cannot take this!!

TODD: Summer Page has been in complete control for most of this match, but Tommy Wish will simply not stay down.

Kenny Styles finally shakes off the cobwebs from the shooting star press attempt and pulls himself up using the ropes, only to find Solomon Kline waiting for him. Solomon scoops him up for the Blue Thunder Bomb and connects, but rather than cover, he stalks toward the corner, calling for Crimson Dawn to finish things once and for all. He hoists Kenny up for the powerbomb portion of the move, but Kenny slips free behind him and rakes his eyes in desperation, buying just enough space to fire back with a superkick that staggers the bigger man.

BAMA: Kenny Styles fighting for his life right there, baby! You do what you gotta do in a match like this!!

TODD: Desperation makes people do desperate things, Bama, and this match is nothing but desperation right now.

Kenny follows with a suicide dive through the ropes that catches Solomon flush and sends both men crashing into the timekeeper's area in a heap, completely spent. Summer watches from the ring apron, calculating, letting the two bigger men wear each other down exactly the way she wants.

Inside the ring, all four competitors find themselves upright at the same time for the first time all match, and the crowd roars in anticipation. Kenny catches Solomon with a Sling Blade. Summer catches Kenny with a high knee the moment he turns around. Tommy catches Summer from behind with a stiff forearm smash that sends her staggering into the ropes.

Tommy seizes the opening, locking in the Fetish Lock, his ankle lock, in the center of the ring, wrenching back with everything he has. Summer screams in pain, clawing desperately for the ropes that are just out of reach, and for the first time all night it looks like she might not have an answer.

TODD: The Fetish Lock is locked in tight! Summer Page has nowhere to go!!

BAMA: She's reaching, baby! She's reaching and she can't get there!!

Solomon and Kenny are both down on the outside from earlier exchanges, leaving no one to break the hold. Summer's arm raises once for the referee to check, drops, raises a second time, and just as it looks like she might have to tap or pass out entirely, the arena lights cut to complete darkness.

The X-Tron flickers.

And a word appears.


The figure turns to Summer briefly.


Summer’s eyes give a brief sense of recognition before the figure lifts Tommy and chokeslams him to the ground, before disappearing in a cloud of green smoke.

When the lights return, Tommy Wish is laid out flat in the center of the ring, and Summer Page is the only one standing over him. She breathes heavily looking around before dropping down and hooking both legs!

The referee slides into position!

1!





Kenny Styles, after a brawl with Kline pushes himself up towards the apron.





2!





He slides into the ring! Kline on his heels!





3!

But both are a fraction too late!

WINNER - "SPOILED" SUMMER PAGE!

TODD: SHE'S DONE IT! SUMMER PAGE IS YOUR NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!!

BAMA: What a night, baby! What an absolute statement heading into that Revolution Championship picture!! But who the hell was that guy in the ring!?

TODD: Summer seemed to recognise him… But only time will tell, Bama!

The referee raises Summer's hand as the crowd erupts, and on the X-Tron the feed briefly cuts to a shot of Marisol Vilaro watching from backstage, championship belt slung over one shoulder, her expression giving away absolutely nothing as Summer Page celebrates in the ring below.





As the song starts, fog forms across the stage as the lights go dim. Lights adorning the stage aim their beams towards one specific spot. The camera angle changes to the ramp, as it slowly goes up, and Oz's silhouette starts rising from the stage, his back to the ramp. As the chorus is about to end, his hands go up and as the singer is about to belt out 'FUCKING BOW DOWN!' Oz swings his arms down, causing stage fireworks to start go off and once done, he spins around his right leg swinging out stomping on the ramp on the word 'DOWN!', causing a bunch of fireworks to blast out from the Xtron. As he walks down to the ring, he looks over to the crowd and only acknowledges the ones with signs about him. He jumps to the ring apron, causing ring post fireworks to go off, as he steps over the top rope and goes to stand in the middle of the ring, beating his chest before swinging his arms with his index fingers pointing to the ground to reiterate the top of the song yelling out but being drowned out by the music 'FUCKING BOW DOWN!' before going to his corner, getting ready before the match starts.

TODD: Listen to this Chicago crowd roar! They are going CRAZY for Mr. Oz!

BAMA T: Oz may not hold an XWF belt, but as far as the people of Chicago are concerned, he is their CHAMPION!

TODD: And tonight, The Butcher of Chicago is headlining Anarchy’s main event in a massive 3-match gauntlet!

BAMA T: This is the moment this whole town has been waiting for Todd, they are chomping at the bit to see their savior live and in action!

Set up all around the ringside area, is a collection of meathooks hanging from tall metal poles. Some of the hooks appear rusted, or are they bloodied? It’s too hard to tell!

BAMA T: Just look at these meathooks Oz has set up all around the building! He’s planning to put on a bloody show of butchering his opponents!

TODD: But Oz has to be careful, Bama: because only the final leg of the gauntlet is a meat hooks of horror match! Every other leg of this gauntlet is using standard Anarchy rules!

BAMA T: I’m not sure Oz cares!

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpR6S38djFM[/youtube]

M.C. Edgecrusher’s music plays for quite some time, but he never comes down to the ring.

TODD: Is, uh….is Edgecrusher in the building, Bama?

BAMA: I’m not sure, Todd! Maybe he got cold feet and chose the safer option!

PART ONE MISTER OZ - vs - MC EDGECRUSHER GAUNTLET MATCH - Singles

The ring announcer stands in the center of the ring as we return from a commercial break.

RING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that MC Edgecrusher has failed to arrive for his scheduled match. Therefore, this match has officially been declared a forfeit. Your winner... OZ!

Winner by Forfeit- Mr. Oz

TODD: Well, that’s anti-climactic! But it’s probably best for M.C. E.C.’s health that he didn’t make it here in time!

BAMA T: The Butcher of Chicago was gonna rip that boy to shreds! And now, the wrestler known as @getouttamyringerson has to face a fresh Mr. Oz! You know he wasn’t planning on that when he agreed to take part in this brutal gauntlet of Oz!



The loud samba-esque beat of ‘30’ by Fukkit blares over the X-Tron… the Ninja known as @getouttamyringersonzips out from the behind the curtain, hopping from one foot to the next, looking like he’s ready to sprint to the ring when the beat drops…

…It drops! But it’s slowed and bass-boosted! And the Ninja slow-rolls down the ramp, stretching his shoulders as he walks, ignoring the crowd.

The man known simply as @getouttamyringerson hops onto the apron from the floor, then frontflips over the ropes and onto his feet athletically. He climbs up the turnbuckle like he’s going to pump up the crowd… and then he yawns on the top turnbuckle, before turning around and lounging against it, awaiting his opponent…

But Mr. Oz doesn’t have time to wait!

He immediately shoulder drops the ninja, and starts pummeling the ever living shit out of him! The referee has no choice but to ring the bell and start the match immediately!

PART TWO MISTER OZ - vs - The Man Known as @getouttamyringerson GAUNTLET MATCH - Singles If Oz loses, he is forced to represent Mark Zuckerberg at Relentless against Scoops McGee

Oz grabs Ringerson by the throat and hurls him across the ring!

Ringerson crashes into the corner!

Oz charges!

RINGERSON DUCKS!

Oz slams chest-first into the turnbuckles!

Ringerson springs onto the ropes—

SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK!

Oz barely moves.

Ringerson hits the mat, rolls, and immediately pops back to his feet.

Oz turns.

CROSSBODY!

Ringerson crashes into Oz with everything he has!

Oz takes one step backward.

That's it.

BAMA T: He moved him!

TODD: That's about all it takes to impress me after M.C. E.C.’s match!

Ringerson scrambles up the ropes.

MISSILE DROPKICK!

Oz stumbles backward!

Ringerson hits the opposite ropes—

RUNNING HURRICANRANA!

Oz goes down to one knee!

The crowd erupts!

Ringerson doesn't wait.

He climbs.

450 SPLASH!

Ringerson lands across Oz!

1!

2!

OZ KICKS OUT!

Ringerson rolls away, shaking his head.

Oz sits up.

Slowly.

Almost mechanically.

BAMA T: Uh-oh.

Oz rises like a zombie from the grave.

Ringerson throws a kick.

Oz catches the leg.

Ringerson immediately spins—

ENZUIGIRI!

Oz releases him!

Ringerson rebounds off the ropes—

BIG BOOT!

Oz catches him in midair!

TODD: OZ CAUGHT HIM! WATCH OUT FOR THE SLAM!

Oz holds Ringerson against his chest.

BAMA T: WHERE IS HE GOING WITH HIM?!

OZ POWERBOMB!

Ringerson is planted!

Oz sits down across his chest.

1!

2!

RINGERSON GETS A SHOULDER UP!

TODD: HOW?!

Oz stares at him.

For the first time, there is frustration on the face of the Butcher of Chicago.

Ringerson rolls underneath the bottom rope.

Oz follows.

Ringerson grabs the apron and pulls himself up.

Oz reaches through the ropes—

Ringerson ducks!

Oz's arm gets caught between the ropes!

Ringerson spins around the ringpost!

ARM WRINGER!

Oz's shoulder smashes against the post!

Ringerson climbs onto the apron.

SPRINGBOARD!

KNEE TO THE FACE!

Oz staggers!

Ringerson runs again!

FLYING FOREARM!

Oz drops to a knee!

The crowd is going insane.

TODD: THE NINJA IS DOING IT! HE’S TAKING THE FIGHT STRAIGHT TO OZ!

Ringerson climbs!

He looks down at Oz.

MOONSAULT!

HE CONNECTS!

Ringerson hooks the leg!

1!

2!

OZ KICKS OUT!

Ringerson rolls onto his back.

He laughs.

Not because it's funny.

Because he can't believe this giant is still alive.

Oz grabs the ropes.

Ringerson gets up.

Oz turns.

RINGERSON WITH A SUPERKICK!

Oz doesn't fall.

Another!

Still standing!

A third!

Oz stumbles!

Ringerson charges—

SPINNING HEEL KICK!

Oz finally drops!

TODD: DOWN GOES OZ![/bue]

Ringerson climbs to the top rope!

He stands.

The Chicago crowd rises with him.

[blue]BAMA T: He's going for something insane here!

Ringerson leaps!

FROG SPLASH!

HE CONNECTS!

Ringerson hooks both legs!

1!

2!

OZ KICKS OUT!

Ringerson sits up in disbelief.

Oz rolls onto his stomach.

Ringerson grabs him.

He tries to pull the giant upright—

Oz explodes!

HEADBUTT!

Ringerson is rocked!

Oz grabs him!

LARIAT!

Ringerson flips completely over!

Oz grabs him again!

SECOND LARIAT!

Ringerson collapses!

Oz picks him up by the throat!

CHOKESLAM!

The ring shakes!

Oz stands over him.

He raises both hands.

The Chicago crowd knows what's coming.

TODD: OZ IS GOING TO BUTCHER HIM!

Oz grabs Ringerson by the legs.

He drags him toward the ropes.

Ringerson suddenly kicks!

Oz staggers backward!

Ringerson rolls!

ROLLING ELBOW!

Oz catches it!

BELLY-TO-BELLY!

Ringerson lands hard!

Oz charges!

CLOTHESLINE!

Ringerson ducks!

Oz turns!

RINGERSON WITH THE LIGHTNING-FAST ROLL-UP!

1!

2!

OZ KICKS OUT!

Both men scramble to their feet.

Ringerson is faster.

KNEE!

KNEE!

KNEE!

Oz catches the fourth!

OZ SLAMS HIM INTO THE CORNER!

Ringerson's back hits the turnbuckles!

Oz charges!

SPLASH!

Ringerson barely moves out of the way!

Oz crashes into the corner!

Ringerson jumps!

DROPKICK TO THE BACK!

Oz stumbles forward.

Ringerson grabs the ropes.

RANA!

Oz is sent face-first into the mat!

Ringerson climbs again!

SWANTON BOMB!

HE CONNECTS!

Ringerson hooks the leg!

1!

2!

OZ KICKS OUT!

Ringerson pounds the canvas.

He knows he's running out of options.

He looks toward the ropes.

Then toward the hooks hanging around ringside.

His eyes widen.

BAMA T: Don't tell me he's thinking what I think he's thinking…

Ringerson shakes his head.

He gets Oz upright.

He charges—

Oz catches him!

SPINEBUSTER!

Ringerson's body bounces off the mat!

Oz doesn't cover.

Instead, he grabs Ringerson by the throat.

He drags him toward the ropes.

Oz pulls Ringerson over the top rope!

Ringerson lands on the apron!

Oz climbs through the ropes after him!

Ringerson fires a kick!

Oz catches it!

BAMA T: RINGERSON!

Ringerson leaps!

HURRICANRANA OFF THE APRON!

Oz is sent tumbling back into the ring!

Ringerson lands on his feet!

The crowd explodes!

Ringerson turns around—

OZ IS ALREADY THERE!

Oz grabs him by the waist!

GERMAN SUPLEX!

Ringerson lands on his neck!

Oz pulls him up!

SECOND GERMAN!

Ringerson bounces!

Oz pulls him up again!

THIRD GERMAN!

Ringerson goes limp!

TODD: RINGERSON IS DONE!

Oz stands.

He looks down.

Then toward the nearest meathook.

BAMA T: Oz is looking at those hooks again…

Oz grabs Ringerson.

He drags him toward the ropes.

TODD: NO! COME ON!

The referee starts shouting at him.

Oz ignores him.

He hoists Ringerson over his shoulder.

BAMA T: DON'T DO IT!

Oz takes Ringerson toward the ropes—

AND THROWS HIM TOWARD THE MEATHOOKS!

Ringerson's body swings out over the ringside area.

His flesh catches the hook.

The hook snags him by the back and leaves him hanging suspended above the floor!

The crowd erupts in shock!

TODD: OH MY GOD![/bue]

Ringerson desperately tries to free himself as he shrieks in pain!

Oz stands at the ropes, staring down at him.

The referee immediately grabs Oz!

Oz shoves the referee away!

[blue]BAMA T: HE'S LOST IT!

The referee calls for the bell!

The referee is already signaling for the disqualification!

Winner by DISQUALIFICATION - @getouttamyringerson

TODD: OZ HAS BEEN DISQUALIFIED!

BAMA T: HE HUNG THE MAN FROM A MEAT HOOK!

TODD: YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

Oz screams at the referee!

The official backs away.

Oz looks back toward Ringerson, who’s bleeding profusely as he hangs from the meathook.

The ninja is still hanging from the hook, desperately trying to pull himself free.

Officials and ringside personnel rush toward him.

Oz climbs through the ropes!

BAMA T: Somebody needs to get that man down!

Oz takes one step toward the hook—

Multiple officials get between him and Ringerson!

Oz stops.

He looks around.

Then slowly smiles.

TODD: I don't think he understands what he just did!

BAMA T: Oh, he understands perfectly!

Oz points toward Ringerson.

Then points toward the collection of meathooks surrounding the arena.

He pounds his chest.

TODD: THE BUTCHER OF CHICAGO JUST BUTCHERED HIS OWN CHANCES!

Oz turns toward the hard camera.

The smile disappears.

BAMA T: And here's the problem for Oz!

Oz stares directly into the camera.

BAMA T: He just lost the match!

TODD: Which means that stipulation is now in effect!

The crowd erupts.

TODD: OZ HAS TO REPRESENT MARK ZUCKERBERG AT RELENTLESS AGAINST SCOOPS MCGEE!

Meanwhile, officials finally manage to free Ringerson from the hook.

He drops into their arms.

TODD: Ringerson survived!

BAMA T: Barely!

The camera focuses on Ringerson being helped away from ringside.

Then back to Oz.

TODD: What a match!

BAMA T: It was a damn war!

TODD: Ringerson had Oz beat!

BAMA T: Maybe he did!

TODD: But Oz couldn't control himself!

BAMA T: That's the story of the Butcher of Chicago, Todd! He doesn't know when to stop himself!

Oz stands alone in the ring.

Surrounded by meathooks..

BAMA T: Somebody better tell Scoops McGee...that he just got himself booked against a very, very angry butcher![/blue]

Then suddenly, the vibes of the entire arena shift as Vita Valenteen’s music plays through the PA system!




Vita Valenteen's music continues to roar through the arena.

The Chicago crowd erupts.

Oz is still standing in the ring.

His chest heaves.

His body is covered in sweat.

Blood runs down his arms from the chaos of the previous match.

He looks toward the entrance.

Vita steps through the curtain.

She stops.

She looks at Oz.

Then at the meathooks surrounding the ring.

Then back at Oz.

She smiles.

BAMA T: Vita Freakin' Valenteen is looking at the Butcher of Chicago like she's found something she wants to carve up!

TODD: But look at Oz!

Oz is leaning against the ropes.

He's exhausted.

He can barely catch his breath.

TODD: Two matches already! One of them against that human blur known as Ringerson!

BAMA T: And now he gets Vita!

Vita walks down the ramp.

She doesn't take her eyes off Oz.

She reaches the ring.

Steps onto the apron.

And cautiously enters.

THE GRAND FINALE MISTER OZ - vs - VITA FREAKIN' VALENTEEN MEATHOOKS! OF! HORROR!

Oz immediately charges!

VITA DUCKS!

Oz crashes into the ropes!

Vita spins!

KNEE TO THE BACK!

Oz stumbles forward!

Vita grabs him!

GERMAN SUPLEX!

Oz lands hard!

He immediately tries to rise—

Vita is waiting!

BOOT TO THE FACE!

Oz falls backward!

Vita mounts him!

FOREARM!

FOREARM!

FOREARM!

TODD: VITA IS ON HIM!

BAMA T: LIKE WHITE ON RICE!

Oz shoves her off!

He rolls toward the ropes!

Vita grabs his ankle!

Oz kicks!

Vita eats the boot!

Oz gets to his feet!

He charges!

CLOTHESLINE!

Vita ducks!

She rebounds!

RUNNING KNEE!

Oz staggers!

Vita grabs him!

DDT!

Oz crashes face-first into the canvas!

Vita immediately rolls him toward the ropes.

She grabs his legs.

She starts dragging him toward the nearest hook!

BAMA T: Vita knows exactly what this match is!

Oz suddenly kicks her away!

Vita goes rolling!

Oz crawls toward the opposite corner.

He uses the ropes to pull himself upright.

Vita gets to her feet.

Oz turns.

BIG BOOT!

Vita ducks!

Oz's leg gets caught!

DRAGON SCREW!

Oz hits the mat!

Vita grabs the leg!

Ankle lock!

Oz screams!

TODD: VITA HAS THE LEG!

Oz crawls!

He reaches!

His fingers find the bottom rope!

Vita finally breaks!

Oz rolls away!

He grabs the ropes!

Vita charges!

OZ CATCHES HER!

He hoists her into the air!

MILITARY PRESS!

Vita kicks!

Oz's arms buckle!

Vita slips behind him!

REVERSE DDT!

Oz drops!

Vita climbs!

ELBOW DROP!

She connects!

Vita hooks Oz by the head!

She drags him toward the corner!

Oz suddenly grabs her!

HEADBUTT!

Vita staggers!

Oz grabs her by the throat!

CHOKESLAM!

Vita hits hard!

Oz drops to one knee!

He tries to get up.

He can't.

He slams his fist against the mat!

The Chicago crowd starts chanting.

CROWD: OZ! OZ! OZ! OZ!

Oz slowly rises.

Vita rises with him.

They meet in the center.

VITA FOREARM!

OZ HEADBUTT!

VITA FOREARM!

OZ HEADBUTT!

VITA!

OZ!

VITA!

OZ!

Oz's legs buckle!

Vita fires one final forearm!

Oz drops to one knee!

Vita runs!

BIG KNEE!

Oz falls!

TODD: VITA HAS HIM!

Vita grabs Oz by the wrists.

She pulls.

Oz refuses to move.

Vita pulls again!

Oz digs his boots into the canvas!

BAMA T: LOOK AT OZ!

He is shaking.

Sweat pours from his face.

His arms tremble.

Vita screams and pulls again!

Oz is dragged inch by inch toward the ropes!

TODD: SHE'S TRYING TO GET HIM TO THE HOOK!

Oz suddenly turns!

He grabs Vita!

BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!

Vita crashes down!

Oz falls on top of her!

Both wrestlers lie motionless.

The crowd starts chanting again.

CROWD: OZ! OZ! OZ! OZ!

Vita rolls toward the ropes.

Oz crawls toward the opposite side.

Both pull themselves up.

Vita reaches Oz first!

FOREARM!

Oz stumbles!

Vita grabs him!

SUPLEX!

Oz blocks it!

Vita tries again!

Oz blocks again!

OZ HEADBUTT!

Vita staggers!

Oz wraps his arms around her!

BEARHUG!

BAMA T: OH!

Oz squeezes!

Vita's face turns red!

She fights!

She elbows him!

Once!

Twice!

Three times!

Oz refuses to release!

Vita reaches behind him!

EYE RAKE!

Oz releases!

Vita immediately kicks his knee!

Oz drops!

Vita grabs his head!

KNEE!

KNEE!

KNEE!

Oz collapses!

Vita grabs him by the hair.

She hauls him toward the ropes!

Oz fights!

He grabs the top rope!

Vita pulls!

Oz holds on!

Vita kicks his hands!

Oz loses his grip!

Vita pulls him through the ropes!

Oz lands on the apron!

Vita follows!

TODD: THEY'RE ON THE APRON!

Vita grabs Oz!

She tries to lift him!

OZ ELBOWS!

Vita stumbles!

Oz swings!

VITA DUCKS!

Oz nearly falls!

Vita catches him!

She grabs his waist!

BELLY-TO-BELLY OFF THE APRON!

NO!

Oz blocks it!

He grabs the ropes!

Vita tries again!

Oz blocks!

Vita throws a headbutt!

Oz's grip loosens!

Vita pulls!

OZ FALLS!

He catches the bottom rope!

His body dangles outside!

Vita grabs his legs!

She pulls!

BAMA T: SHE'S GOT HIM!

Vita drags Oz outside the ring!

Oz rolls onto his back!

Vita grabs him!

TODD: SHE'S GOT THE BIG MAN!

Vita pulls Oz upright!

She hooks his arm!

She pulls him toward the nearest meathook!

Oz fights every inch!

He plants his feet!

Vita pulls!

Oz shoves!

Vita falls backward!

Oz drops to one knee!

Vita gets up!

She charges!

OZ CATCHES HER!

SPINEBUSTER!

Oz collapses!

The Chicago crowd erupts!

TODD: OZ HAS FOUND SOMETHING!

Oz crawls toward Vita!

He grabs her!

He tries to pull her up!

His arms shake violently!

Vita throws a punch!

Oz eats it!

Another!

Another!

Oz stays upright!

BAMA T: THIS MAN IS RUNNING ON NOTHING!

Vita throws another!

Oz catches her wrist!

HEADBUTT!

Vita staggers!

Oz grabs her!

CHOKESLAM!

Vita crashes down!

Oz stands over her.

He looks toward the hooks.

The Chicago crowd starts roaring.

TODD: HE'S GOING TO DO IT!

Oz grabs Vita!

He lifts her!

Vita slips free!

She lands behind him!

SUPERKICK!

Oz staggers!

Vita grabs his head!

STUNNER!

Oz drops!

Vita doesn't cover.

She knows there are no pins.

She grabs Oz!

BAMA T: VITA KNOWS WHAT SHE HAS TO DO!

She drags him toward the hooks!

Oz crawls in the other direction!

Vita grabs his ankle!

Oz kicks!

Vita holds on!

Oz kicks again!

Vita holds on!

She grabs the other leg!

She starts dragging him!

Oz claws at the ground!

His fingernails scrape against the mats!

Vita pulls him up!

Oz's feet leave the ground!

Vita turns!

She positions Oz directly beneath the nearest hook!

BAMA T: OH MY GOD!

Oz kicks!

Vita loses her grip!

Oz drops!

He lands on his feet!

Barely!

He swings!

VITA DUCKS!

Oz turns!

VITA WITH A KNEE TO THE FACE!

Oz drops!

Vita grabs the back of his head!

She pulls him up!

Oz is barely conscious!

Vita hooks his arm around her shoulder!

She grabs his waist!

TODD: THIS IS IT!

VITA LIFTS!

Oz's feet leave the ground!

Vita twists!

AND THROWS OZ DIRECTLY TOWARD THE MEATHOOK!

Oz's body swings!

His shirt catches!

The hook digs in!

Oz is lifted completely off the ground!

He hangs suspended from the meathook!

The crowd goes absolutely insane as the bell rings!

Winner by Meathook- Vita Valenteen

Vita immediately drops to the ground.

She is exhausted.

Oz hangs motionless from the hook.

TODD: VITA DID IT!

BAMA T: VITA FREAKIN' VALENTEEN HAS HUNG THE BUTCHER OF CHICAGO!

The referee points toward Vita!

Vita rolls onto her back.

She gasps for air.

The crowd is stunned.

Then—

CROWD: OZ! OZ! OZ! OZ!

Vita looks toward the crowd.

Then toward Oz.

She shakes her head.

BAMA T: Listen to this place!

TODD: They’re still going nuts for Oz!

The crowd isn't booing Vita.

They're chanting for Oz.

Officials rush toward the meathook.

Several members of the Chicago crowd begin climbing over the barricades!

TODD: WAIT A MINUTE!

Fans swarm ringside!

Security tries to stop them!

They can't!

The Chicago faithful pour toward the ring!

BAMA T: THIS IS INSANE!

Fans reach up toward Oz!

Officials finally get him down from the hook!

Oz collapses into the arms of the people surrounding him!

The crowd catches him!

TODD: THE PEOPLE OF CHICAGO ARE HOLDING HIM UP LIKE SOME SORT OF MESSIAH!

Dozens of hands support Oz's battered body.

Oz's arms hang limp.

His head rests against the shoulders of the fans.

Then the crowd starts lifting him higher.

Higher.

And higher.

BAMA T: THEY'RE LIFTING HIM OVER THEIR HEADS!

The Chicago crowd begins carrying Oz away from ringside.

Like a wounded king.

Like a fallen God.

TODD: THEY'RE CROWDSURFING THE BUTCHER OF CHICAGO!

Oz's battered body is passed from fan to fan.

The chants grow louder.

CROWD: OZ! OZ! OZ! OZ!

Vita watches from ringside.

She leans against the ring apron, exhausted.

She looks out at the sea of people carrying Oz through the arena.

She shakes her head.

A tiny smile crosses her face.

BAMA T: Vita Valenteen won the match…

She looks at Oz.

BAMA T: ...but look at who this city chose to carry home!

The camera follows Oz as the crowd carries him through the arena.

His eyes slowly open.

He looks around.

Thousands of people are reaching for him.

Oz raises one trembling arm.

The building explodes.

TODD: THE BUTCHER OF CHICAGO HAS LOST THE GAUNTLET!

The crowd gets louder.

TODD: BUT HE HAS NEVER LOOKED MORE LIKE A SAVIOR!

Oz disappears into the crowd.

The final shot is the sea of Chicago fans carrying him away.

BAMA T: Maybe losing was the best thing that could have happened to him.

TODD: How do you figure?

BAMA T: Because now everybody knows exactly how much Chicago loves their butcher.

THANKS TO ALL OUR WONDERFUL MATCH WRITERS LIL’ DICKIE LICKY ATTICUS SILVER AND TO OUR AMAZING SEGMENT WRITERS M.C. EDGECRUSHER MR. OZ MISS FURRY CHARLIE NICKLES & THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO RPed FOR THE SHOW!

Anarchy's closing credits have just begun to roll as a car comes screeching into frame, swerves across several empty parking spaces, and slams to a stop. The door flies open and the Edgecrusher jumps out and sprints towards the arena.

MEMC EC: WORD LIFE!

The arena doors open and the fans begin pouring out. The Edgecrusher stops dead in his tracks. He looks at the fans, then the arena, then at the fans again.

MEMC EC: What... but…

The same oily faced teen from a recent "autograph event" walks by laughing.

Teen: HA-HA! Shows over, Jim Cena.

MEMC EC: I drove all the way from Ohio for this shit?

The arena lights shut off behind him.

MEMC EC: ...Word Life.

Cut to black.