Oh good. Finally. Let’s stop pretending this tag division is being held hostage by greatness and just say what it is: two men trapped in an emotionally codependent situationship with matching belts.
Here’s how this goes on-screen. Clean. Mean. Surgical.
Jenny Myst – Opt-In to WARFARE
I’ll make this easy.
Yes. WARFARE.
Me and The Director are opting in.
We’re 1–0, which—before anyone starts crying—yes, it was against the Hixx sisters, and frankly I’ve seen special needs toddlers coordinate better resistance, but a win is a win and the paperwork says what it says.
Now let’s step the competition up one tick.
Not the novelty belts. Not the side quest straps.
The real tag titles.
Seb.
King.
The dark one. Not the good one.
You know. The champions who haven’t defended those belts since Night Two of Relentless, which in wrestling time is basically a geological era. There are fossils younger than your last defense.
And why is that? Mmmm?
Because instead of defending the division, we’ve all been forced to sit ringside and watch:
Seb spend more time fucking Betsy Granger than defending the belts.
King spend more time getting beaten by Seb than defending the belts.
You two are locked in the same loop like a prestige drama that should’ve ended three seasons ago.
Enemies.
Lovers.
Enemies again.
Back to lovers.
Repeat every two months like it’s tied to the lunar calendar.
And the entire tag division just… waits.
While two grown men break up, make up, slap each other, hug it out, and then pretend the belts are somehow still being actively represented.
No.
Those titles don’t belong to your therapy cycle.
They don’t belong to your unresolved feelings.
They don’t belong to a rivalry that keeps eating itself just to feel something.
They belong to people who actually want to defend them.
The Director and I?
We’re not here to play house.
We’re not here to re-ignite sparks.
We’re not here to “find ourselves.”
We’re here to take what you’ve been sitting on and remind everyone what tag champions are supposed to look like when they’re not busy emotionally undressing each other in public.
So yes. WARFARE.
Me.
The Director.
Against the champs who forgot they were champions.
Clock’s ticking, boys.
And unlike your relationship, this challenge doesn’t reset every full moon.
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