The universe is no narrow thing and the order within it is not constrained by any latitude in its conception to repeat what exists in one part in any other part. Even in this world more things exist without our knowledge than with it and the order in creation which you see is that which you have put there, like a string in a maze, so that you shall not lose your way. For existence has its own order and that no man's mind can compass, that mind itself being but a fact among others - Cormack McCarthy
As the full moon hangs in the night sky.
The waterfall crashes against the rocks below.
The sound of a sword peeling away from flesh.
As Game Girl looks into her best friend’s eyes.
A flash of remorse fades as quick as it comes. The slightest quiver of his lip is bit upon as Game Boy watches her fall over the edge into the river below.
And he is alone.
A ragged breath exits him as he falls to a knee and pushes a hand to his mouth stopping the vomit from exiting. He shakes; holding back a tear before wiping the blade into the grass to erase the blood.
He looks down at the crimson scar he left on the earth, his hands trembling before he tries to compose himself.
After some time.
He steps back to his feet and returns quietly to the camp, placing his sword in its sheathe and laying down by the fire. His wide eyes reflecting the embers dancing above the crackling wood until the sky fills with the sun.
His eyes, tired. Bloodshot.
He finally blinks when he hears Princess yawn and move out of her tent. “Good morning.”she says with a smile to her compatriots.
Gretchin grumbles as she moves to the fire hoisting a cauldron above it to prepare breakfast, while Pepe the Mouse Knight hops down from his cot.
Game Boy feigns a yawn while he stretches before rubbing his eyes.“Morning.” he replies.
Gretchin looks at him, peering behind a veil of darkness, the brim of her hat barely concealing the yellow pricks of light glaring at him.
“You seem tired.”She says turning back to the cauldron.“Busy night?”
Game Boy scratches at his pale neck with a weak cough. “I think I’m coming down with something. Couldn’t sleep.”
“Hm.”
Silence lingers for a moment.
“Where’s Paige?” Princess questions looking around the camp. “Don’t tell me she’s gone back to Urf while we’re on a mission!”
With a croaked groan GB replies,“I- …She went to get some firewood last night, but I fell asleep soon after.”
Gretchin stares a hole through him.“She probably got caught up in something else.”She adds, her eyes unmoving from Game Boy. “Away with the fairies, that one, probably got distracted with some other shenanigans.”
“Great!” Princess throws her hands up with a sigh before her fists dig into her hips.“Guess we’ll carry on and hope she can catch up.”
“Oh you know her, Princess.” Gretchin finally moves her glance from Game Boy. “No matter what happens she’ll always come back.”
You couldn’t see Gretchin’s smile under her cloak.
But Game Boy could hear it.
A wiry, lip splitting, malicious smile.
A slight eye flick.
A sickening, knowing look.
His heart thuds against his chest as the hot swell of bile inched up his throat, with a spluttered cough he beats it down before standing up and grabbing his belongings. “Yep.”His hand rasping around his sheath as he ropes it over his shoulder before turning to the two with a forced smile. “She always comes back.”
Scoops McGee groans as he kneels down in the hay, lifting the horse’s leg and scraping the muck from its hoof. Game Girl, our hero, stands at the horse’s mouth holding a bucket in her hand which the horse greedily eats from. Paige has a slight smile on her face watching the creature methodically dip in and out, chewing with muffled grunts.
“You’re quiet.”Scoops mumbles.
“Hm?” GG glances over briefly meeting Scoops' eyes before going back to the horse.
“I said you’re quiet. Usually chewing my ear off by now.”
Paige doesn’t respond, simply giving a shrug. Scoops sighs, dropping the hoof and standing up, wiping the blunt knife with a rag.
“Listen, I know last week was rough. For all of us. Kicking ya self ain’t gonna fix shit. Hell, if I cried every time I lost a match there wouldn’t be enough water in my body for me to piss ever again.”
Scoops gives a slight smile as GG snorts a laugh before placing the bucket down and stroking the horse’s snout.
“I just feel like I let Amber down.”
“Don’t you say that.” Scoops moves a little closer to her. “She’s a grown woman, she can take accountability. You tried! You got knocked down, you got back up! Hell you put up a fight! And I know you, you always do your best after getting knocked down. Puts the wind back in ya.”
Scoops shuffles slightly awkwardly as Game Girl’s wide eyes fix on him with a smile.
“Thanks, Scoops.”
“Yeah, yeah.”Scoops flips the knife around and offers it to her. “Let’s switch places, my back is killing me.”
GG delicately takes the knife, thumbing the blunt edge as she moves to the rear of the horse. Giving a pat on its side the horse raises its back hoof and GG kneels to clear out any debris.
“Maybe I do try harder after getting some reality knocked into me. But if that's the case.”Her eyes flick to Scoops. “Why did I not return to Narfinex after what happened with Game Boy?”
Scoops scratches at the horse's mane, picking some dirt and flicking it away. “You mean for revenge?”
“Maybe?”She shrugs.“I dunno. Just why did I run like a coward?”
“Y’know girlie, escaping ain’t a bad thing. Running away is simply the best option you have.”
“But you seemed proud of me for picking myself up and fighting back! For trying!”
Scoops hesitates. “Yeah I am. But there’s a huge difference between a fight on a show and what you had to deal with.”He scoffs a laugh.“Why do you think I ain’t angry with ya? Or myself? Or Dickie or Amber! Sometimes ya lose fights, it ain’t the end of the world. You’ll come back. You always come back.”
Paige nods with the words before taking in a deep breath and finishing up on the hoof.
“You’re right, Scoops.”She smiles kindly. “Sorry for being so melodramatic, not sure what's got into me.”
“I’d be sad too if I was kneeling in shit.”He points down with a smirk as GG who steps up with a look of disgust before cracking a giggle.
“Lol. I should go wash up.”
“Go ahead, I’ll finish up here.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” Scoops thumbs his nose as he walks over and puts his hand out for the knife. “Grab some firewood on your way back to the house, gonna be cold tonight.”
GG smiles, placing the knife in Scoops' palm. “You got it.”
She leaves the barn. Tapping the threshold of the door as she does.
Scoops drums the handle of the knife in his palm, watching as she walks over the hard dirt, her breath visible in the air. Wrapping around her cheeks and whispering into the wind.
Grabbing some logs of wood from the shed nearby, she heads over to the house.
Noah’s silhouette walks past the windows as music faintly falls into the dimming sky. Game Girl runs a thumb along the bark in her arms, feeling the grooves and rubbing away the thinnest layer of ice clinging on.
A long exhale comes from her.
The sky turned black as the void, as sound and the earth beneath her leaves, letting her slowly tumble into a vacuum. The ends of her blue hair flow as she floats.
Her face barely lit by dots of stars.
A slow inhale.
And out.
“I’ve dealt with repetition more times than most.”
Her words echo softly into space.
“Exiting a world I knew to be thrown back into another with the same memories, same people around me and the same outcome.”
“Over and over.”
“Watching those I love get hurt. Die. Betray me.”
“Over and over.”
“But I always came back.”
“The same, but different.”
“I tried and yeah, I failed a lot. Failure is to be human. Something I want to be.”
“But I tried.”
“Vaas said, “the definition of insanity is doing the exact same thing over and over again and expecting different results.””
“I don’t think that’s insanity. I think that’s hope.”
“It’s determination!”
“It’s wanting to break the cycle!”
“And that’s exactly what I plan to do, Jenny.”
The logs of wood she carried fall from her arms, creating steps that she gracefully hops between going further up into a starry sky.
“You’re like me, in a way. You come and go at random and you try the same things over and over again to the same result.”
“Soul-crushing failure.”
“And when you finally have the chance to escape the cycle of mediocrity you made, you simply run somewhere else and become the same champion you were last time, with the same 2017 look, with the same soulless promos and use the same terrible graphic designer. Or use AI to make them look like crud which I feel as a person of code that’s cultural appropriation or something” :P
“Do you not bore yourself?”
“Do you not look at yourself in the mirror and realize you need to change? Improve? To actually BE something?”
“Do you not feel insignificant when Samael Dyson does everything you and Chris Chaos tried to be but actually makes it work? Actually can be seen as a threat?”
“Do you not feel embarrassed when Jennie Nickles did a better impression of you your entire career in a month?”
“Heck, I feel embarrassed that I lost to you once! My own fault for not taking you seriously, shame on me. Fool me once blah blah.”
“What do you feel when you have been a wrestler since 2017 who loves to lord over others with their wins and title reigns but has had more losses than most anyone, with title reigns that end in disappointment, how many X-Treme titles have you won only for them to be taken away with a carefree pin from the likes of John Black days before you go on a show?”
“Is the repetition gonna carry on here? Can’t wait to find out!”
“What do you feel when you, a wrestler since 2017, with so many titles calls herself a queen but has never EVER come anywhere close to winning a crown?”
“What do you feel when you’re mocked endlessly? When people make pictures of you being bald? When you’re still the butt of the joke years after you left the XWF? When people laugh about how well you used to do in matches only for them to end in an abrupt and disappointing loss?”
“What do you feel when everything you hold important in your life means nothing to anyone else?”
“And I know what you’re going to say; “Oh GG, *insert childish curse-filled line* you’ve been here LONGER than me! *content of a graphic nature* And you’ve done less! *eats dog food for the shock value?*”
“And yeah! You’re right! I’ve only held the one title here who I beat Sebastian Duke for. I’ve been in the XWF waaaay longer with not that many matches to show for it. My win/loss record isn’t stellar, honestly kinda mid.”
“But I’ve also been on the winning team of War Games three out of four times and through that I’ve made amazing friends that I love dearly.”
“People seem to really enjoy having me around, which is lovely.”
“I do my best in matches, I put on a show!”
“In my last fight, one of the commentators had a genuine, nice reaction to seeing me.”
Paige smiles sweetly, lost in thought for a moment. Her grin fades and a look of concern and worry grows.
“When has that ever happened to you?”
“I’m here to help people and beat up bad guys. I want to make people smile. I want to have a positive effect!”
“I don’t needtitles. I don’t needto win.”
“I just want to try my best.”
“And in a world of Samael Dyson's, Wicked Witches and Micheal Graves’s. I think that’s a pretty good cause.”
“And kicking your flat butt and stripping you off the Xtreme Championship to deflate your ego is just the cherry on top.” :P
She gives a quiet giggle making her way up the logs until the nebulas expel blaring lights of color around her. The constellations resemble eerie figures.
“You live in your loop, hearing the things you want to hear, believing the things you want to believe. Doing the same things you always do with a smug sense of satisfaction. I want to untie that loop.”
“I don't want to beat you because I want to win, I want to beat you to get rid of you for good. I want to break a cycle that keeps repeating, one of senseless repetition with no room to grow, one of teenage angst clinging onto a fully grown adult, one of a mediocre wrestler refusing to adapt.”
“Instead of trying, you latch on to others in the hope of making yourself somewhat relevant. Lording around a title you never won that gets passed around more than-”
A voice shoots through the void.
“More than Jenny at a key party.”
GG blinks following the voice.
“Thank you, Amber.”
“And change the title to resemble your meme of the moment to a thunderous groan of eye-rolling. Same with Meat Clowns. Same with anything about CHAOS. Same as always, Jenny.”
“Repetition.”
Game Girl taps her head with a wink. With her next words a star in the distance glows brightly before imploding into an empty hole in space, drawing pricks of light near.
“And like a collapsing star, you draw in these people around you like a black hole of anti-charisma and crush them under the immense weight of being not only a cruddy wrestler, but a boring and uninspiring, lifeless homunculus. Recycling the same lines since 2017 and plagiarizing yourself to the point it becomes parody.”
As the stars shoot into the expanding black hole in the far distance, the void grows larger and larger. Game Girl hops closer and closer to a range of colors and a familiar shape in the constellations.
“You are a stagnant cancer, Jenny. One that consumes but doesn't have the mercy to kill the host. It stays and infects before subsiding only to return and remind people of the pain and misery that is your existence. You're something I want to rid, a corruption that leeches from others but can't do a darn thing themselves, something that causes headaches and fatigue. I want to erase you for good.”
“I want you gone forever.”
Game Girl sees the form in the stars, a young man with a sword on his back throwing out a hand to her.
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“He’ll be back.” She responds, almost in a song. “He always comes back.”
The swollen orange sun beats down on the forest.
The chirps of birds ring out.
Sweat pounds the ground.
Game Boy, our , rests his head against a tree.
A flash runs through his mind.
Game Girl sat beside him on the road. Her smile. Her enthusiasm.
How they chased dragons when they were younger ?ERROR_notfound
His sword running through her chest.
The look of pain, sadness and betrayal falling further away from him as she topples over the cliff into the river below.
He shuts his eyes tightly, pushing his head into the bark of the tree.
He trembles, forcing the thoughts out of his mind.
But they refuse.
The sun bakes him in his armor.
The sword on his back forces him to his knees under the weight.
And he sits there.
Under the shade of the tree.
Looking up to the sky.
No tears come from him.
Just ragged, exhausted breaths.
He reaches for the sword on his back and unsheathes it.
He looks at it.
Admires the craftsmanship.
The ornamental guard.
The shine of the blade, its polish and silvered edge.
Running a gauntleted hand over; past the reflection of his face.
He gets to a kneel.
Taking the sword and angling the tip into the ground and putting the edge to his neck.
He closes his eyes and digs his neck into the sword.
No. That won’t work .
He closes his eyes and digs his neck into the sword.
Blood pushes out as he gasps, his eye widening in shock as th-
No.
He closes his eyes and digs his neck into the sword. feels the silence of the moment. No birds. No sweat dripping down his brow.
Serenity.
Just for a moment.
His hand shakes as he lets out a roar.
Dropping Throwing the sword to the ground.
It clatters in the grass and Game Boy punches the earth beneath him. With a long exhale and a shorter inhale he lifts his head up, wiping the hair from his forehead and pushes his back against the tree.
“You shouldn’t feel bad.”
A dry, old voice cuts the air. Game Boy looks in the direction, startled. Gretchin inches closer, a branch in her hand aiding her walk as she hobbles towards him stopping at where the sword landed. She looks at him.
“You can’t break a cycle. None of us can.”
Game Boy glares at her, his eyebrows lower. His lip upturns as he lets out a “Tsk.” He brings his knees close to his body, resting his elbows on them as he looks the witch up and down.
“I’m tired of your riddles, Gretchin, for once can you just speak plainly.”
Gretchin taps his sword with the branch and takes a step closer to him.
“Why did you kill Game Girl?”
The words hit like a train.
Game Boy could hear her smirk, the words that would never come. ‘Plain enough for you?’
She’s mocking him.
He forces the air out of his lungs. Like an angry bull.
He squints, sizing her up.
She’s small. Tiny even. Old. Weak. It wouldn’t take much to-
Game Boy shakes the thought out his head.
She’s been his friend, an ally, for who knows how long. Something’s changed.
I’ve He has changed.
His pupils flick down. Ashamed.
He pushes through, opening his mouth but a shaky gasp comes instead.
He closes his eyes, steeling himself.
“I…” He looks at Gretchin.“I wanted my powers back…”
“Your powers?” Gretchin laughs, “They were never yours, Game Boy, they belonged to a long dead version of you. How could you want back something that was never yours?”
She edges closer pointing the branch like an accusing finger.
“You wanted to have a taste of power because you’re a stupid little boy who thinks playing the great knight to The Princess will finally validate a mundane life in a better person’s shadow.”
“Stop it.”He whimpers.
“You’re a spiteful, selfish whelp. Did you ever care about her? Did you even know her?”
“Stop it!” He cries out.
“Or what!? Will you strike me down too? Go ahead, I’m tired of being the all-knowing seer to this party of infants. Drive your sword through me! Stangle me in my sleep! In fact, use your stolen powers to smite me!”
“ENOUGH!”He roars.
Standing to his feet, he throws out a palm and targets Gretchin, her yellow eyes peering at him through his fingers.
Game Boy focuses his anger, his energy into the hand.
And…
Nothing.
Not a thing happens.
Game Boy turns his hand over. It quivers as he looks at it.
Gretchin’s body puffs out as she lets out a single laugh. “Hm.”
She pats Game Boy’s forearm and moves to a stump nearby as Game Boy looks at his hands.
“As I expected.” She sits with a groan.“Can’t break a cycle so easily.”
“Wait…” Game Boy turns to her, “Does that mean…”
Fear strikes him like a hot iron.
Gretchin’s eyes curve up slightly, a wide smile under her cloak.
“She’ll come back, Game Boy, she always comes back.”
His back falls against the tree and he slides down onto the grass.
“But… But I saw her… She- How?”
He turns to Gretchin who watches him.
“She’ll come back” She cackles, “She always co—̴̡͎̙̺͈͗͗̕-̵̨̢͖̹̠͛_̸͎̩̥̬̜̾_̶̢̞̝͓̖͌_̸͓̘̤͌̆̀_̵̭͆̔̎͐+̴̧̣͚̹̹̊̇̍=̶̲̇̆̉̓͠-̴̝̭͇̖̗̓̈́̆̕͠-̶̢̦̇̌̈̀̕=̵̡̨͍͖̘͐̃̉́́-̸̟̺̼͋=̶̪̱̭͇̬͆͗-̸̜̘̪̲̘͐=̵̜̺̼̌̊̑̑̀-̵̺̫̦̤̞̊̂͝=̴̮̾͆-̴̭̩̑͝=̵͖̠͙̣̀-̷͙̾͋̑͐=̷̬̼̺̘͂̾̈́͘͘͜-̵͎̯̩́͗͂͠-̷͍̑͑̇͊-̸̜̦̀̐̅-̴͎̟͉͖̜̃̈́̚-̴̰̱̝̜̤̓-̵̦̪̘͚̦̿̿̉̋-̸͕͛̒͒͠-̸͇̃̒̈́́-̵͙̮̑=̵͕̫̲̘̌=̶̗͠-̴̱̞̄͌͗
The swollen orange sun beats down on the forest.
The chirps of birds ring out.
Sweat pounds the ground.
Game Boy, our ____________, rests his head against a tree.
A flash runs through his mind.
Game Girl sat beside him on the road. Her smile. Her enthusiasm.
His eyes blink open.
He turns suddenly scanning his surroundings.
His chest lifts with the heavy breaths.
“Was…”He stammers. “Was it all a dream?”
Sweat pours down his brow.
Stepping forward, his feet land heavily on the ground. He walks slowly with purpose to the clearing and meets Gretchin.
His hand reaches for his sword out of instinct.
She jolts slightly.
Her tiny form jumps as she looks at him with those yellow pricks of eyes.
“Game Boy.” She murmurs. “I wanted to speak with you.”
He huffs air, his eyes flick to the campsite in the distance, Princess lifts her hand over the eyes to observe.
He focus back on Gretchin, his hands dropping to his side.
“Talk.” He responds.
“... I need to know why you killed her.”
Gretchin glares at him.
Game Boy shakes his head and scoffs a laugh, not out of mockery but exhaustion. “You can’t break a cycle so easily!”He chuckles to himself before running his hands down his face and kneeling to meet Gretchin.
“Oh…” She leans back slightly. “Well… This is a development.”
“Yeah,”he murmurs.“I suppose it is.”
In a heartbeat Game Boy reaches for his sword and swings it out, striking Gretchin and-
The swollen orange sun beats down on the forest.
The chirps of birds ring out.
Sweat pounds the ground.
Game Boy, our hero rests his head against a tree.
“You work out in armor all the time?” A soft, kind voice comes from behind him.
He turns slowly and sees Princess watching him, he scoffs a laugh.
“Yeah, adds some weight training.” He smirks.
Princess rolls her eyes with a shake of her head.“Whatever you say! Just don’t tire yourself out too much before we meet Mordekaiser.”
A brief stab of hesitation goes through GB. He takes a handkerchief from his pocket and dabs at the sweat on his face.“Hard to believe we’re going to end this thing.”
Princess nods, “Be easier if Paige didn’t abandon us.”
Game Boy smiles, “She’ll come back, Princess, she always comes back.”
He moves off and walks alongside Princess back to camp, she gives a long groan tilting her head back.
“Nirva! I’m tired of hearing Gretchin say that, I don’t need it from you too!”
He cracks a laugh, “It’s catchy! Plus it’s the truth!”
“Yeah, yeah…”Princess waves him off as they get back on the road, meeting wagon and horses.
Game Boy pats his horse with a smile, dusting off some dirt that latched on to its coat. He moves up, inspecting the wagon with a kick of its wheel and moves to the front. Gretchin sits silently, hunched slightly, the white orbs of light peering from behind her cloak are dull. He raises an eyebrow.
“Gretchin?” He waves in front of her face.“Everything okay?”
There’s no reaction from her.
“I think she’s resting, Game Boy!”Pepe squeaks. “She made herself one of them mushroom brews and has been a little off since.”
“Tsk.” GB hisses. “I told her to calm down on those; keep an eye on her, Pepe.”
“Will do!” He salutes as Game Boy looks to Princess with a nod and motions back to his horse.
“Right!” Game Boy hollers to the party. “We’ve got a good day or so before we reach Mordekaiser’s domain and stop this darn corruption once and for all! Let’s move fast, stay on the roads and-”
A glint of light hits his eyes.
He winces and looks to the source.
To the waterfall in the distance.
To the cliff.
To a man holding a bloody greatsword.
“What the?”
He peers at the man, who turns slowly back at him.
His eyes tired, full of regret.
He sees himself staring at him.
He-
The swollen orange sun beats down on the forest.
The chirps of birds ring out.
Sweat pounds the ground.
Game Boy, our villain, rests his head against a tree.
He doesn’t say anything.
He turns around with a long inhale, and a longer exhale moves away from the tree.
Gretchin meets him as he exits the clearing.
“Game Boy!” She lets out watching him come toward him. “I wanted to speak with you.”
“Not now.”He responds walking right past her. “Mordekaiser is a day away and we’ve got a job to do.”
“But-”
“Not. Now.” He lashes.
Moving toward his horse and adjusting his saddle.
Gretchin stands there, her hand scratching at the branch she uses as a staff.
“Oh Game Girl…”She whispers to herself. “I hope you come back.”
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”
Joseph Campbell