I don’t see anyone else jumping at the chance so I’ll get you some feedback.


It was very poetic and descriptive and I liked it. Leading into the woman who betrayed you and the crying was pretty good but the quick break in the story to mention the Leap of Faith kind of broke the trance. It was a bit out of place. What I would have done is moved it to the end and continued with the story until that point and made a smooth entry of the Leap of Faith.


All in all I did like it. Even the part where it didn’t fit but right after that it rolled in line and flowed again BUT it was out of place for the topic at hand.


I was just being honest so don’t be insulted. I still liked it.