Meanwhile in the XWF Medical Tent Set-Up At The Resort At Sheri's Ranch

"..Jesus, L..."

Lionel's agent, Gene Branagh holds his scally cap in his hands before his chest... His hands idly twist at its soft, shallow brim...

"...I... I wanted you to win a match for the pay bonus but..." His voice is wracked with guilt... and a tinge of nausea looking at his talent in his current state... in a makeshift hospital bed, a machine breathing for him... Wrapped in a full body cast... "Not like this..."

...Branagh takes a nervous step forward. "I shouldn't have..." He exhales frustratedly! "I mean, I tried! I told you like a HUNDRED times this was an ACTUAL wrestling show! Where people HURT each other!"

...

Branagh sighs, squeezing his cap a little tighter, realizing the futility of yelling now... "I shouldn't have let you go out there. It's my job as your agent to look out for you..."

A nurse with a blonde ponytail walks in... Branagh's eyes light up.

"Nurse! What can you tell me!?! Is... is he gonna be okay?"

The Nurse looks at Branagh confused.

"...Oh... sweetie. This is a costume. I'm on the clock! Thankfully, now that Chuck's been fucked to death by sex robots, the union is in charge and we're back to work." She winks.

...

"Oh.. Then, when's the Ranch's actual nurse getting here?"

"Right here!" A woman walks in in a glittery pink bikini, her body covered in oil like she just finished wrestling with two other girls for the pleasure of a customer.

Wait, sorry, not *like* that, that is in fact what happened.

"Sorry, I also work a shift inside the Ranch," The oily sexy lady apologizes sincerely as she reaches to read Pennyfarthing's chart by his bedside. "I didn't have time to change..."

...Branagh opens his mouth. Then thinks better of it.

"...Look! Whichever of you is a trained medical professional! Is my client going to be okay?!?"

The sexy oiled-up medical professional nods with the utmost gravity and compassion. She takes her job seriously, she's just also very sexy. "We're going to do everything we can. But, he has been brutalized and physically battered."

She sighs, as she opens a drawer, rifling through its contents... "It doesn't help he's not an athlete... He's spry for an... overweight fifty-year-old, but he went in the ring with a bodybuilder freak with anger issues, how else was this gonna go?"

Branagh's hands twist his hat nervously... "This is all my fault..."

The bikini nurse exhales. "Did someone move my equipment? Where's my stethoscope?"

Gene looks around, before pointing to the stripper in the nurse outfit... "Oh! Um... is it around your colleague's neck there?"

The nurse looks over... and then shakes her head. "No, that's a prop that came with the costume."

The stripper nurse holds the plastic stethoscope up to her ear. "I can hear the ocean!"

"She got it from Spirit Halloween."

THE XWF IS STILL PROUDLY SPONSORED BY SPIRIT HALLOWEEN

Suddenly, the medical tent's flap opens!

It's XWF Correspondent, the 'Always Composed' Pete Rose!

"Where is he?!? Where's that twinkle-toes, moron, Sir Lionel?!?"

Branagh's eyes widen! "'Always Composed' Pete Rose! The guy who interviews "Cavortin'" Jake Borden!"

"I interview other people!"

"Well, why are you here?!?"

"Are you kiddin' me! It's the Scoop of a Century! Sir Lionel won a match! The biggest clown on a roster that is teeming with ACTUAL CLOWNS!"

"I need an interview! Now!"

Branagh exhales. "Look.... Lionel's really in no shape to perform right now... He's..."

"nnnn shh.... ttuh PRFRM!" Lionel's eyes open wide! His mouth is wired shut, but he snaps awake!

"I ws BRN t PRFRM!" He moans in protest, while his jaw is wired shut.

Branagh's eyes widen in relief and amazement! "L, you're okay!"

...

Branagh looks his client up and down... "I mean... well, you're not dead at least..."

"It's a miracle!"

The prostitute in a nurse outfit puts her plastic stethoscope to his ear!

"Yep! Ocean sounds! He's gonna make a full recovery!"

"...Eh... that'd be a whole different miracle... But he isn't dead!"

"Great!" Rose sticks a microphone in Pennyfarthing's face. "You won a match! That's crazy because you're garbage! TELL ME ABOUT IT!"

Branagh bats away Rose's microphone. "Look, Rose... Even if Lionel's conscious... his jaw's wired shut! He's obviously in no shape to conduct an interview!"

"GN!" Lionel protests at his agent, his eyes fiery while his body remains immobile. "THS S Y MMNT! Y BG BRK! TH SHW MST G N!"

"L, c'mon!" Gene scratches his head. "You can barely speak!"

"BLRDSH!" Lionel protests, before his eyes turn towards Rose. "Y! RPRTR! RCRD Y YS!"

"...Wut?"

"He's saying record his eyes! He's always said performance is in the eyes..."

Rose shrugs and nods toward his cameraman. The view zooms in on Lionel's eyes...

He begins to blink...

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