From Spencer Adams's A Humble Knee (March Madness)

"Hello, World.

My name is Push and I’ve come to shove Prince Adeyami’s head so far into the fucking Earth that he has to ask the Mole People for advice. Unfortunately, Mole People don’t talk and a sad sack “Where do I go from here?” is bound to fall on deaf ears while I’m busy on the surface, doing a celebratory griddy several miles above your inverted bag of bones like the hours were ticking down on your stay in the Nutty Putty Cave Inn. You could’ve walked in here with a roar and instead, you’re going into that ring borking like a doofy lap dog. It’s silence when compared to what we SHOULD be seeing from you."