Hello Mark Hero whose name is also Mr. Briefcase my name is Roger and i can see that you have just woken up from a wee sleepy sleep and i hope that you had lots of dreams of angels and fast cars and butter chicken and other things that are good and not much sexy dreams that ruin your underpants unless you think that is also good in which case i hope you had sexy dreams about all the very beautiful people.

In my adventures i have heard that you are a very good man who saves the innocent from evildoers and that is something i am trying to do myself so we have that in common and i brought you this cape that my nan made me to help me be brave when the baddies are about to beat the goodies up and i thought that you might like to have it to help show everyone why your name is Mark Hero and not Mark Villain.

It is also a little bit awkward that we are here because while you are still lying down from your nap i am just going to put my finger on your shoulder because that would be the safest part if you did have any messy sexy dreams and since you are reportedly one of the best humans that has ever lived i was wondering if you would just lie there so my new friend in the striped shirt here counts to three but it's OK I understand if you don't want to but since you have also been elected Mr. Briefcase i thought that now you might be happy to have a bit of a lie down for just three more seconds so that i can evolve into Roger the X-Treme which might help me bring back my rabbit Elmer from the depths of hell which is where that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt sent it and if you just have a lie down for three seconds i will get lots of power to stop him and be a hero just like you.

If you don't want to then i'm sure you would have your heroic reasons and i trust your decision and you can still keep the cape and maybe we could be friends and go for a hot drink that is called coffee or tea or hot chocolate with delicious white marshmallows but not the icky pink marshmallows.

Let's have a go of this then shall we.

Thank you for listening to my tale.

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