A beat-up sedan cruises down the highway. “Blood on My Hands Again” plays through the car’s speakers as the setting sun is swallowed by the horizon. Darkness spreads across the sky as the sedan rounds a corner, passing the only road sign in miles.



Charlie sits in the driver’s seat, a cigarette in his hand and no safety strap across his chest: because he thinks seatbelts are for pussies! Even still, his lifeless sister is strapped in beside him. Her skin is pale and white, except for the area around her broken nose, which is stained with blood. She’s still wearing the same hospital gown she was murdered in.

Charlie leaves his smoking hand on the wheel as he turns towards Jennie’s corpse, patting her on the shoulder as if to comfort her.

“It’s going to be okay, Jens’. These people reached out to me after Warfare and told me they could help fix you…they could fix what Micheal Graves made me break.”

Charlie gave his sister a soft smile before turning his gaze back towards the road.

But it was already too late. He didn’t see it standing there in time.

“FUCK!”

Charlie instinctively placed a hand in front of Jennie to shield her from the coming crash. He tried slamming on the brakes. The car skidded across the road, the brakes locking up as rubber burned across the pavement.

The collision happened in a second.

Metal ripping through flesh and the sound of glass shattering, accompanied by a bloodcurdling deathrattle. Charlie was thrown through the windshield as the sedan was forced to a sudden stop.

The Nickleman lay atop the pavement, some twenty odd feet down the road from the crash site. His mind groggy, his vision blurry, and his face covered in a crimson mask with flecks of glass and asphalt embedded in his skin.

He coughs up blood as he tries to stand.

“JENNIE!”

The Nickleman stumbles back towards the busted sedan, wiping blood from his brow and trying to regain his bearings.

“WHERE ARE YOU?!”

The Nickleman nearly trips over the dead beast laying flat on the highway.

“What the…”

Laying dead in front of him is nothing other than a 1500 pound golden cow. Now bloody and mangled, the cow’s ear tag is somehow still intact. Charlie grips the tag and flips it over.

The tag reads ‘Bacchus Beef Company’.

“....BBC?”

The creature’s head was somehow still in relatively good condition. Charlie lifted the eyelids of the beast open. The creature’s eyes were pitch black.

“You ok, bud?”

No response.

“Heh, of course not. Guess you shouldn’t have gotten in my way, huh? You look like you were someone’s prize pet- and now, you’re just my roadkill.”

Charlie's hand drifted down to the beast’s mouth. He began raising the cow’s lips and speaking in an accent as he imitated the creature’s retort. As the lips move, you can see the teeth behind them: and they look nothing like they should. A twisting set of fangs has replaced all the creature’s teeth along both the bottom and the top gumline.

“You were going too fast and not paying attention to the consequences of your actions…and now, I’m dead and gone forever! Boo-hoo, it’s not fair! We need an animal uprising to stop mean men like you!”

Charlie released the cow’s lips.

“But life ain’t fair, is it bitch? The only revolutions you can count on in this world, are the revolutions of my engine as I run you down!”

Charlie chortles, clearly content with his clever wordplay.

“Speaking of my engine…”

The Nickleman looks back towards the sedan, which is crumpled and coated with blood. Light smoke rises from the car, but it’s not from the engine: it’s from the blood. The cow’s acidic ichor is slowly melting the paint. But much to Charlie’s relief, his sister is still strapped in the passenger seat.

Charlie shakes his head, blood flying every which way like water shook from a dog. Then, he turns his attention back to his precious sister: but something’s wrong. She’s not in the car anymore! The passenger side door is swinging wide open!

“JENNIE?!”

That’s when he spots them: a group of shadowy figures absconding with his sister’s body! They’re carrying Jennie into the ditch and towards the treeline!

“Put her down, or I’ll put you down!”

They quickly shuffle into the trees with Jennie’s corpse! Charlie runs to the car. He reaches in and opens the center console, pulling out a trusty six-shooter. You think it’s a Colt Peacemaker, but you’re not a gun aficionado so you can’t be sure. Charlie spins the cylinder, making sure all six chambers are loaded.

With gun in hand, Charlie turns back around to chase down his sister’s kidnappers.

But the golden cow he crashed into has other plans.

Standing upright once more, the cow slams its hooves onto the pavement. The sudden movements cause it’s exposed guts to spill out. The acidic blood melts the asphalt as the cow’s pitch black eyes stare straight at Charlie, searching for his soul.

But when The Nickleman and the golden cow lock gazes, there’s not a soul to be found.

MOOOOOOOOO!

It screams hatefully.

“How the fuck?!”

The cow lowers its head and charges straight at Charlie! The beast’s hooves slam down on the asphalt with such massive force that it shakes the entire road! Charlie is wobbling as he raises his firearm, aiming through a crimson mask as the creature barrels towards him in a stunning twist of fate.

“You’re going to regret coming back, cunt!”

Charlie fires!




Three shots straight to the dome. Each bullet rips through the cow’s skull, spreading its gooey brainmatter all over the highway. After the third bullet, there wasn’t even a skull left to shoot. With one last screech of evil, the monster falls back down to the asphalt.

Charlie takes one last look at the felled monster before he turns his head towards the treeline his sister disappeared into.

“Don’t worry, Jens’…Chucky’s coming to getcha!”

Charlie puts one boot in front of the other as he strides after the corpse of his little sister. Softly in the background, the final verse of Cypress Hill’s song is heard through the speakers of the crumpled sedan.

---

So Thad’s golden calf has returned.

Welcome back to the XWF, Johnny Bitchass.

I can’t wait to send you packing…AGAIN!

But before we get started, I want you to tell everyone the truth:

You’re still scared shitless of The Nickleman.

As you should be!

After all, that BASTARD embarrassed you in the halls of X-treme! And then, to make matters worse…he cost you the Universal Championship.

Everywhere you went in this company The Nickleman was right behind you- chasing you down, and eventually, he ran you right out of the XWF!

He made you leave this fed’ with your tail tucked between your legs.

And now, you want to come back and LEAD a War Games team?!

Fuckin’ ridiculous.

You don’t even deserve to participate in War Games, let alone be a Captain!

What the fuck do you know about WAR? Last time I brought war to your doorstep, you stepped away after just one battle. You were smart enough to know that your luck was running out, I’ll credit you that: but I won’t credit you a god damn thing else.

In case you forgot, Johnny: this is the X-treme Wrestling Federation.

And you’re not X-treme.

At best, you’re X-tremely entitled.

X-tremely pretentious.

And X-tremely FUCKED!

Because I know for a FACT that nobody told you I was a Captain…if you knew you had to face ME in your comeback match, we both know your ass would’ve stayed gone!

In the age of revolutionaries, woke scolds, and agitators: I stood strong as the company man. While you were talking about tearing it all down, I was busy reinforcing the foundation. So when you set your eyes on the Universal Championship…I set my eyes on you.

The new XWF top 50 list just came out…and I didn’t see your name on it.

You know why?

Because I scratched it out every time you got close to accomplishing something special.

So when we meet at War Games?

I’m running it all back like a direct-to-DVD horror sequel!

I’m costing you belts, I’m tarnishing your legacy, and I’m beating your ass so bad that they’re gonna call you Johnny Black-and-Blue-chus!

If you’re still a smart man, Johnny: you should do what you did last time and just leave...

Before The Nickleman comes for you again!

---

Charlie followed the trail of Jennie’s captors through the woods, eventually finding a clearing. In the middle of the clearing stood a dilapidated church. The building was in such a state of disrepair you’d swear it was abandoned: if not for the lights on inside.

Charlie clutched his piece as he slouched down low, crouching towards the windows. He peeked in, and couldn’t believe what he saw!

“Holy…”

Inside the church, a macabre congregation had assembled. Standing in front of a broken ambo were two men dressed in knockoff clergy robes. One of them stood considerably taller and wider than the other. Seated facing them, was a collection of hairy little children. Disgusting little vermin, who appeared to be more wolf than human.

Charlie’s eyes nearly popped out of his sockets when he saw Jennie seated in between a few of the vile cretin children. Her pale skin had been covered with strange fur, crudely glued to her lifeless flesh.

“What the fuck are they doing to her!”

Charlie cursed under his breath, keeping a watchful eye on the flock as he kept a steady hand on the glock. Or maybe it’s not a glock. Again, you don’t really know guns like that.

Inside the church, their dark mass was just starting. The freaky little gremlins start humming and chanting interchangeably as their dark preachers light some incense. Then, the smaller man reaches into the ambo and pulls out this cult’s most prized relic.

He gets on one knee to present it to the largest man in the room.

He opens up the box it’s in to reveal…

“Is that a fucking cock ring?! Oh hell no, I’ve seen enough!”

Charlie walks around the building and kicks in the door! The children all turn around, baring their sharpened canines with low growls. The two men at the front of the congregation try to calm everyone down. The smaller one speaks first, cock ring still in hand.

“Well hello friend! Have you come to join us for evening mass?”

Charlie just smirks before raising his pistol.

“I came to save my sister.”

The preacher looks over to Jennie’s corpse, sitting lifelessly in the pews.

“I’m afraid it’s a little late for that. Now, if you haven’t come to join our congregation, I will have to ask you to leave.”

“And if I don’t?”

The preacher gestures towards the massive man next to him, who is now proudly wearing the cock ring on his finger.

“Mudd Swallows will have to escort you off the property, and into the dirt.”

Charlie looks between the big man’s giant mouth, and the precious cock ring around his giant finger.

“Heh, yeah- I bet he does. Now swallow this!”




Three shots ring out across the church, and all the weird children scatter like hairy roaches!

Two shots slam into Mudd Swallows’ chest, causing the big man to fall straight onto the dilapidated ambo, completely crushing it! The final shot strikes the smaller man in the gut, causing him to slump against the back wall of the church before slouching into a seated position.

Charlie blows the smoke off the barrel of his pistol as he walks forward. He steps over the bleeding husk of Mudd Swallows before kneeling in front of the seated pastor.

“What the fuck did you weirdos think was gonna happen when you took my little sister? You thought I’d just let it go?”

The man coughs up blood while pressing both hands against the bullet wound in his stomach.

“I didn’t know she was your little sister!”

Charlie stood tall in front of the man, tucking his six-shooter into his waistband while staring down at the wannabe clergyman.

“Well ya do now, bitch!”

Nickles then raised a boot, and slammed it directly into the seated man’s skull! The wall behind him gave out, causing the man to fall out onto the grass! Charlie’s boot followed, staying right on top of him until the very moment that his skull cracked and his brains splattered across the grass!

“‘Thou who fucketh with The Nickleman, flirteth with death’ - that’s the book of Charlie, chapter 6, verse 7!”

With a self-satisfied chuckle, Charlie turned back from the carnage and locked his gaze back onto his precious sister. He walked towards her, kneeling in front of her. When he saw all the hair glued to her body, his laughter quickly died off.

“That cult tried to turn my sister into a monster…but there’s still time to fix you, Jens’!”

Then, Charlie picked his sister up by the waist and slung her over his shoulders. He walked out of the church with Jennie’s corpse in tow, finally reunited on their journey to Raccoon City.

---

This has been a long time coming, Judd.

A lot of folks think men like you and I are cut from the same bloody cloth.

But they couldn’t be more wrong.

On the surface, sure, I can understand the comparison:

We’re both big brutes with bloodletting kinks.

But that’s where the similarities end.

You’re not a blue-blood talent like me, and you’re only about half the puppetmaster: with none of the prestige.

Your biggest accomplishment?

Is winning Sam Dyson’s cock ring from that bitch Korvayne.

My biggest accomplishment?

Take your fuckin’ pick.

Was it winning the Universal Championship? Was it winning War Games? Was it breaking records with my TV title runs? Was it headlining Night 3 of Relentless, in just my second month with the company?

Or is it the amount of names I’ve actually WEEDED from this business?

The thing I’ve noticed about you, Judd- is that you’re really only dangerous in your vignettes.

In your scripted lil’ scenes with that knock-off Graves.

But inside that ring?

I haven’t seen a damn thing that scares me.

You haven’t taken a single soul in this business yet.

But me?

I ended Dallas Marshall’s career in my first ever XWF match.

And then I ended Lynx’s career the very next month on Warfare.

It’s a habit I can’t quite kick, like your dedication to slobbering all over the cock of whoever the fuck you happen to be booked against.

Here’s some free game, Judd: you don’t have to deepthroat the god damn boot that’s kicking you in the face! Sometimes, you just have to cut a motherfucker’s foot off!

But you’ve always struggled with your commitment to brutality.

You wear it like a cheap costume, only putting it on whenever you have to clock in.

But certified Bastards like me?

The brutality ain’t some marketing gimmick that you only see on a screen.

It’s a god-damned mantra and a way of life!

So by the time I’m done with you, Judd?

You’re not going to be “The Sin Collector” anymore.

You’re just going to be Judd Hollow- WEEDED.

---

Charlie carried his sister’s fur covered corpse through the darkness, eventually arriving at the eerie entrance to the Raccoon City Hospital. Charlie looked around, but didn’t see anyone. It was a bit odd, but Charlie shrugged off the feeling of uneasiness- after all, The Nickleman would do anything for his sister.

“Well, this is supposed to be the place…”

Charlie opened the doors to the hospital and carried Jennie inside. He walked up to the front desk, but nobody was there.

“HELLO? IS ANYONE HERE?”

That’s when a walky talky suddenly came to life behind the receptionist’s desk.

“Hey, stay quiet! We’re here, but we need you to come to us.”

“Don’t you tell me to stay quiet! Do you know who the fuck I am? I came here to see-”

The walky talky quickly cut him off.

“Dr. Maria Stokes, I know! I’m her! Quickly, we need you to come to the elevator. Ride all the way up to the 27th floor. The access code is 80085. And keep it down, please, for the love of God! For your safety and ours!”

Charlie grabs the walky talky from the desk.

“You know I get paid millions of X-bux for running my mouth, right? What, are you scared I’m going to say something that TRIGGERS you?!”

“No…I’m scared you’re going to wake them up.”

Charlie raised a brow in concern.

“Wake up…who?”

A long pause.

Then, the walky talky cuts back in.

“...The Dark Warriors.”

Charlie rolls his eyes as he walks towards the elevators with the walky talky in one hand and his sister in the other.

“Trust me buddy, I’ve felled my share of dork warriors. I ain’t concerned about anything with such a trite and overplayed fuckin’ moniker.”

“Well, that’s what we’ve been calling them around the office ever since the outbreak. But you might know them as…well, how do I say this? Well…uhm, some of my colleagues have alleged that they are…zombies. There’s fucking zombies in the hospital, dude!”

That puts a little hustle in Charlie’s step as he reaches the elevator. He quickly presses the up button. When it arrives, the elevator doors slide open to reveal…



A motherfucking zombie is waiting in the elevator! It lurches out towards Charlie with a rotting hand that’s almost falling off the arm.

“You’re one ugly son of a bitch!”

Charlie spartan kicks the zombie in the chest, sending it crashing against the back wall of the elevator. Nickles quickly closes the gap, and with his sister still draped over his shoulder, he stomps the zombie’s head in exactly like he did that creepy pastor with the hairy kids!

“That? THAT was what you were scared of?! Give me a fuckin’ break.”

Nickles punches in the access code and clicks the button for 27. That’s when the walky talky chimes back in.

“Well, the problem is…there’s a horde of them.”

That’s when Charlie looks out through the closing doors of the elevator, and sees over a dozen Gravy zombies charging right at him! The ones in the front reach through the sliding doors, trying to scratch and claw at The Nickleman and his precious cargo-

But the elevator doors slam shut in a flash of blood and flesh! The mangled hands of the zombies are ripped clean off the steel doors!

“Oh fuck!”

“Just stay calm, when you get up here I’ll explain everything!”

After a long ride to the 27th floor, Charlie walks out and is greeted by a team of doctors who quickly rush to him and begin fussing over Jennie. They take her from his arms and lay her down on an operating table. They pull out serums and syringes bearing the logo of The Umbrella Corporation.

Charlie steps forward to intervene- but the woman in charge stops him.

“Charlie: you did your part. You brought her here. Now let us do our part.”

It was the voice from the walky talky. Charlie looked at her with hope.

“You’re going to bring her back, right? That’s what you said when you called me after Warfare.”

The woman bit her lip.

“We will bring her back…in a way.”

The doctor looked back at the operating table. Her team was hooking Jennie’s body up to whirring machines while simultaneously injecting her with strange, glowing fluids that bore a suspicious resemblance to the blood of the golden cow Charlie had to kill twice.

“She just won’t exactly be your sister anymore.”

“What do you mean? She will always be my precious Jennie!”

“Charlie, listen. After Warfare, we got our hands on a blood sample from Micheal Graves. It got out. That’s what’s downstairs. Half the city is Gravy now! But your family’s blood is different. Nickles kill. It’s in your DNA. Everyone you’ve ever loved, you put in the ground. With the Lucifer serum, Jennie becomes a Nemesis. A hunter built to wipe out every last one of them.”

“...So you’re turning my sister into me.”

“An undead version: but, yes. That’s one way to look at it.”

Just then, a sudden clanging sound came from the elevator shaft. It grew louder and louder in intensity, causing the doctor’s face to go as pale as Jennie’s.

“Oh my God….they’re coming! We need our new Nemesis A.S.A.P!”

A voice from the operating table chimed in.

“We’re working on it! We just need one more minute!”

“I don’t think we have one more minute!”

True enough, they didn’t. The clanging turned into a raucous banging on the other side of the elevator doors.

“Quick, we need to barricade th-”

But it was too late! The elevator doors were being pried open, and a slew of Gravy zombies began pouring onto the 27th floor!

“SHE’S TRANSFORMING!”

“Thank the heave-”

The doctor shouted her thankfulness, but that didn’t stop the zombies from rushing forward at breakneck speed and taking her down in the blink of an eye!

“AGGGGHHHH! AGGGHHHHH! HOLY FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-”

The doctor’s screams of anguish were chilling. Charlie froze, watching the doctor be eaten alive by the horde of Gravys. Every single zombie pouring out of the elevator took a piece of her until there was nothing left.

Charlie’s gaze was locked onto the horrifying sight.

Until he heard another scream coming from behind him. When he turned to look, he saw his sister’s transformation had worked: but not as The Umbrella Corporation had intended!



The Nemesis had grabbed one of the surgeons by the throat, lifting him high into the air before popping his head like a balloon! A sadistic grin spread across The Nemesis’ undead lips before she turned her eyes onto the rest of the doctors. She dispatched them one by one, each death coming in a more brutal fashion than the last.

Then, she locked eyes with The Nickleman.

Charlie pulled the pistol from his waistband and held it up, aiming for the soft spot right between Jennie’s eyes.

“Sorry sis’, I guess you’re having a closed casket.”

Charlie pulled the trigger-

But nothing happened!

HIS SIX-SHOOTER WAS OUT OF AMMUNITION!

The Nemesis bull rushed forward, and Charlie instinctively raises his hands to shield his face-

But Jennie didn’t attack him.

She brushed past him, briefly patting his shoulder, before charging toward the horde of zombies pouring out from the elevator shaft. One by one and sometimes even two by two, The Nemesis starts splitting masks and ripping apart Gravys.

Charlie watched in awe as his sister began putting belt to ass on the entire zombie horde!

“You see that, Mikey?

You made me break her. Now look what she does to your kind!

Even dead, a Nickles is still beating your ass!

Nickles kill Gravys. It’s in our fuckin’ blood.”

Charlie and The Nickles Nemesis walked out of the hospital together, leaving a river of Gravy behind them. Jennie cleared a path all the way to the edge of Raccoon City, right past the same road sign Charlie drove by at sundown.

The Nickleman lit a cigarette and patted his sister on the shoulder one last time before he stepped beyond city limits.

”Told ya I’d fix you, Jens’.”

The Nemesis howled with glee, her hands coated with Gravy’s scarlet verdict.