WARFARE! LIVE FROM TARGET CENTER
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA Samael Dyson Coronation Rated XXX Victory Celebration Samael Dyson celebrates his ascension to becoming Universal Champion last Warfare
Deena Hixx
- vs -
‘Main Event’ Jay Fetu If Deena wins, she takes Jay’s #1 contendership for the BLADE CHAMPIONSHIP BLADE
MC Edgecrusher
- vs -
Charlie Nickles XXX-Treme Rules
You know how X-Treme Rules is no rules? XXX-Treme Rules is EVEN LESS RULES!
TO THE XXX-TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEME!
Kristoffer Arroyo and Dickie Watson
- vs -
Raised by Wolves Clown and Raised by Clowns Wolf Tornado Tag
Scoops McGee
- vs -
‘Mr Amazing’ Vincent Jamison Standard One Fall
Judd Hollow
- vs -
Michael Graves Winner will face the Universal Champion at Relentless
CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE
OOC: WARFARE RULES is 1 RP LIMIT with a 4K WORD LIMIT unless stated otherwise.
Hard deadline for Warfare will be SATURDAY, 08-29-2026 at 11:59pm board (Pacific) time.
Please remember to double check your Word Counts:(Google Docs/Wordcounter.net)
And to double check your AI Score:(Must be under 25% - GPTZero.me/ZeroGPT.com) Staff will not be held responsible for lost points/disqualifications if your RP fails these tests!
Good luck and have fun!
Joe Rogan and JC don’t get a single word in after the opening Relentless hype package airs and the X-Tron begins the intro theme for Warfare.
Why do they not get a word in, you may ask?
Because seconds into the Warfare hype montage, it suddenly shuts off. All the lights in the Target Center join the darkness of the tron.
In its place is mournful, sad music. The kind that rips out your heartstrings. It’s quickly joined by an utterly disrespectful montage of what happened to Sebastian Bryce-Everett last Warfare.
Of course, this montage doesn’t show SEB overcoming the whirlwind of a storm that is Remi Storm, who took him to his absolute limits. No. Certainly not. It doesn’t give SEB the courtesy of highlighting how he initially fought off the ART Foundation as they pounced on him like a pack of starving hyenas.
It cuts right to the part where Sebastian is manhandled into the air like a toddler by the Ubermensch and chokeslammed.
Then comes that first sickening Implant DDT onto the briefcase by Samael, followed by the second one, which busted SEB wide open. The footage lingers on Sebastian in slow motion, highlighting every stream of blood that went down his face and, most importantly, showcasing how helpless and weak he was in that moment - a predicament SEB rarely finds himself in.
His humiliation is just starting, though. The highlights keep going, showing Dyson painting his face with SEB’s blood before finally spiking him with a third Implant DDT on the briefcase for the one…two…three…
The sad music stops playing and is replaced by the sudden jolt of “Run This Town” by Beyoncé and Jay-Z.
The X-Tron freeze-frames the celebration. Samael Dyson is held in the air on the shoulders of Korvayne and Remi while the rest flank him in celebration.
The X-Tron goes black again….
THEN…
The pyro celebration is so absurdly loud and overdone that it blows out the ears of fans and shakes every nook and cranny of the Target Center.
When the pyro dies out, a famialir, commanding voice rings out from every corner of the venue.
“HERE YE! HERE YE! HERE YE!”
Everyone’s favorite thespian, Ser Lionel Pennyfarthing, steps through the smoke looking completely different then usual….
SER LIONEL PENNYFARTHING: YO YO YO lemme speak on this here shizzle! Shut yo mouths fools, cause P-Farry up inside this HOOOOOUUUSSEEE and imma bout to drop some knowledge on yall punk azz bitches.
He struts down the ramp like he’s in a 90s rap music video, then rounds the ring and heads toward a stage hand.
SER LIONEL PENNYFARTHING aka P-FARRY: Yo this mic be trash gimme a better one before i cap yo trick ass.
He points a finger pistol against the stagehand’s temple, so the scared man quickly gives him a better mic.
JC: WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON?
JOE ROGAN:... ART!
JC: It’s trash art. This is ridiculous.
P-Farry hops into the ring and flashes gang sign to the crowd before turning to the hard camera and gearing up for the big stuff.
SER LIONEL PENNYFARTHING aka P-FARRY: yall put a sock in it befo I start cappin’ mofos! It’s time yall put yo hands together for my two baddies, my hos, the tag team champions who be out here being the cornerstone for ART! Show some love to the Chicks with Kicks… REMI STORM annnnd the GREAT KORVAAAAAAAAYNE!
He threw a gang sign skyward and the Target Center roof retracted.
JC: Wait a damn minute here. This arena doesn’t have a retractable roof!
JOE ROGAN: You didn’t hear? Korvayne dropped some fat stacks a few weeks ago to have them convert it to one.
JC: Why am I always the last to know this stuff?
SER LIONEL PENNYFARTHING aka P-FARRY: Behold mofos, the feme fatales are coming down from the heavens. And be-fucking-hold, look yall, they be ridin’ on a giant dildo make in the likeness of Samael Dyson’s much revered and glorified Phallus. That means cock btw, bitches.
The fans are beside themselves because P-FARRY wasn’t joking one bit. In a disgsuting scene, Remi and Korvayne, dressed in hot sexy ass gear, descend from the sky riding a massive flying Dyson dildo that is the size of a jet.
And what happens next is worse, because normal sized dildos rain down like confetti, pelting (and possibly injuring) some fans. The camera catches a quick view of some of the raining dildos and its pretty clear they’re used, most likely by the Roller Whores. In fact we see a big black floppy dildo landing in a little girl’s bucket of popcorn, to which she starts to cry.
Speaking of them, the Rollerwhores climb over the barraides and enter the ring, as well as all the other members of the most dominant faction in XWF currently.
The giant jet sized dildo hovers above the ring for several moments while the fans are ducking and diving away from the raining dildos. Then, Remi and Korvayne high five and press some buttons on the shaft.
The giant jet sized dildo hovers in place but does a slow 360 degree turn and blasts hot white fluid (possibly collected semen…who knows) all over the fans. Similar to Austin’s beer truck thing except much nastier.
They finally land and the giant dildo flies away.
P-Farry gives some gang signs and bro hugs to Remi and Kor, and they give him weird gang signs back. He then hands the mic over to Remi. Remi takes the microphone from Pennyfarthing and turns toward the crowd, looking around at the absolute insanity surrounding her. For a moment, she almost looks like she's trying to figure out exactly how she's supposed to follow whatever the hell Pennyfarthing just did. A crooked smile slowly forms across her face before she finally raises the microphone.
REMI: "You know... I was trying to figure out exactly what I was supposed to say tonight. But then I remembered who we're here for."
She looks toward the camera, that familiar mischievous grin spreading across her face.
REMI: "One of the biggest assholes I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. And I mean that as a compliment. Tonight is about Samael Dyson. And if there's one thing I can say about Dyson, it's that man earned his fucking moment. Nobody handed him that briefcase. Nobody handed him an opportunity. Nobody decided he deserved to be the next big thing and put him at the front of the line. He went out there and took that briefcase himself. And once he had it? He knew exactly what he was going to do with it. The entirety of the XWF probably shit themselves with regreat the moment that man earned that briefcase because they didn’t, couldn’t, stop him. He watched. He waited. He picked his moment. And when that moment finally came, he fucking struck."
Remi nods, her expression becoming more genuine.
REMI: "And that's something I gotta admire. Because Dyson has spent a long time proving he doesn't need anybody to hand him anything. He doesn't need permission. He doesn't need validation. And apparently, he doesn't even need a functioning moral compass. I like that about him, truthfully. I've spent months generally harassing him in and out of the 24/7 hallway, making it my ongoing side quest. At some point I was accused of being a vampire trollop, had garlic shoved in my mouth and chased him with a shirt.”
Remi grins.
REMI: "But somewhere along the way, while I was being the biggest pain in his ass I could possibly be, I got to watch him become something else. A fellow teammate. Someone I drag into chaos just as often as he drags me into his. He’s stubborn. He’s arrogant. He’s probably incapable of making a normal decision…”
She pauses, looking towards Kor and Pennyfarthing.
REMI: “... which is probably why we all fit so fucking well together. But… he’s also earned my respect. This man deserves the Univeral title and everything that comes with it. Fuck anybody who says differently.”
Her eyes shift toward the camera again.
REMI: "And Sebastian? You should probably be watching this very carefully. Because tonight you're not standing here with that championship. You're standing somewhere watching the woman you had to choke unconscious, who became one of the reason you lost it, celebrate the man who was waiting right there to take it from you because you weren’t prepared.”
A smirk returns.
REMI: "You wanted to be the best in the business. You wanted everybody to believe that championship made you untouchable. Turns out all it took was one stubborn little Storm, one briefcase, and a man who knew exactly when to strike. And then he took the fucking Universal Championship from you."
She sidles up to Kor.
REMI: "So yeah, maybe he’s completely fucking insane. Maybe his soul is black as fuck… but he’s our asshole…. And now, this magnificent bastard the Universal Champion, your Universal Champion!”
Remi tosses an arm over Korvayne’s shoulder and puts the mic in her hand.
Korvayne press the mic to her pillowy cherry red lips and….
The crowd only gets louder. So loud thet when she tries again they drown her out. She waits them out.
KORVAYNE: Finally, geez! What can I really say about all of this? Tonight’s coronation ceremony is for the blue hair of courage… the god in human flesh… the man who taught SEB a lesson he will never forget. A man who was mistreated as a kid by his trash ass mom and then later betrayed by her as well as that bitchpire Krissy. A man who withstood almost half a year of constant attacks by Charlie Nickles and Roller Remi. So hell fucking yes, this god among men deserves to be the Universal Champion.
Kor breaks from the speech for a moment to land that iconic smirk into the camera while tossing a thumb point to herself.
KORVAYNE: And I made it all happen. ME! It was ME who saw the value in Ser Lionel Pennyfarthing. It was MY aura that drew the amazing Remi Storm into the fold. It was ME who saw the obvious greatness in Samael Dyson were other people saw a scummy coward who will never succeed long enough to cash that briefcase in. I’m like Al Pachino in the movie ‘The Recruit’... I’m a scary judge of talent! Because of my WONDERFUL combat strategy genius and knowing who has it and who dont, I was able to help Dyson overcome Dickless Watson and NOW.. guess what? After tonight, when Remi beats up that marble mouth cunt Garisha and becomes TV Champ again…. WE WILL HOLD ALL THE TITLES ON WARFARE. ALL OF THEM! NO FACTION IN XWF HISTORY HAS MANAGED TO DO THAT!
Now the crowd is back on her with nuclear heat that could melt her in place.
KORVAYNE: But enough about me..
JC: Thank god!
JOE ROGAN: Speak for yourself man. I could listen to that sultry voice all day. I’ve got a rocket in my pants right now just listening to her.
JC: You better stop simping for Kor. Her SIMP might get jealous and have a word with you.
JOE ROGAN: I’m not worried. I’ll round house kick 300 pounds off him.
KORVAYNE: Let us now welcome the greatest among us…. YOUR.. that’s right… YOUR Universal Champion…….. SAMAEL DYSOOOOOOOOON!
Samael’s music hits the speakers and a chorus of boooos erupt from the crowd! But first out is not Samael Dyson but….a series of robo dog penises?!! Yes, marching out from the back is a series of phallus shaped robotic dogs who start to broadcast into the air 3-D images of Sam’s enormous wang interspersed with even more shots of him DOMINATING SEB during his cash in. Finally, the man himself appears from behind the curtain, wearing a blazing yet stylish red and black suit, blue hair tied back in a bun, with the Universal Championship draped over his shoulder. The Ubermensch appears behind him, a silent guardian. Samael walks down to the ring, flanked by the penis bots who continue to broacast his dilz and shots of SEB’s head getting drilled into the 24/7 briefcase. Finally, the champ gets to the ring and gestures for the mic from Korvayne. He brings it up to his mouth, but is met with more thunderous booooooos from the audience. Finally, with a scowl, he brings it up again and shouts into it.
SAMAEL: HATERS! HATERS ONE AND ALL! But it doesn’t matter because here I stand your UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!
He raises the title triumphantly in the air.
SAMAEL: Yeah bitches, I did precisely what I said I would do! I took a massive dookie dump on my mother’s legacy and cemented my own by taking what was rightfully mine. What I fucking EARNED through almost six months of blood and sweat with the XTreme championship! Yeah motherfuckers, I said EARNED! Because whether you like it or not that’s precisely what I did. I fought just as hard for this title as Sebastian, or Scoops, or Graves, or any of those other fuckers who laid claim to it.
But hey, feel free to bitch about my methods. None of you…NONE OF YOU….can dispute the RESULTS. And in the end, that’s precisely the only thing that actually matters. This championship on my shoulders and an etching in the XWF history books that will be there forevermore whether you all like it or not!
He gazes out at the crowd for a moment as they continue to pile hate on him.
SAMAEL: But let’s talk about the future. I will, after all, be rolling into the Relentless main event like the big dick playa that I am, and facing one of two possible opponents: Michael Graves or Judd Hollow. And do you know what both of them have in common? Both of them went to war with me and neither one was able to pin me or make me submit!
JC: Convenient that he fails to mention that Michael Graves still holds a win over him.
JR: Hush, the champ is speaking.
SAMAEL: So am I confident going into Relentless? You’re damn right I am. Because I see the future laid out before me and it is one that is severely lacking in anything remotely resembling a challenge. So for all you slack jawed, lazy eyed, sister fuckers out there you better get used to the sight of me with the Universal Championship real quick, because it’s a sight that will continue on into perpetuity for a LOOOOONG, LOOOOOOOOOONG TIME!
Now, seeing as how this reign is going to be nigh endless, I have developed a list of demands for management that I expect to be acted on post haste!
Sam reaches into the pocket of his suit and pulls out a scroll of paper that unfurls onto the mat.
SAMAEL: Number one, I noticed that on the official XWF website there is no mention of me as Universal Champion! In fact, it still lists SEB as the champ! This gross error will be rectified IMMEDIATELY! I DEMAND RECOGNITION AND RESPECT! Number two….
Just then, Sebastian Everett-Bryce’s music hits! The fans pop HUGE! Sam looks to the entranceway and mouths “motherfucker!” as the previous champion makes his presence known!
JC: And here… Comes… the former Champ!
Sebastian Everett-Bryce stands atop the ramp, his eyes focused on the ring, and the ART Foundation standing within. He allows the crowd a moment to shower him in adulation (obviously), before lifting the mic to his lips.
SEB: You know, I was originally planning on coming out here and just causing some problems, but before I do… There’s a couple of things I want to say. Firstly - Remi.
There’s a chorus of boo’s for Remi Storm, who rolls her eyes.
SEB: I made it clear before our match a couple of weeks ago that you already had my respect - and after that match? Not only did you have it, you earned it. And while that might not mean much to you - it meant something to me. Because the reason I came to XWF three years ago was to have outstanding matches with outstanding opponents. So, when that bell rung, and everything I thought about you was confirmed, I was honestly happy… For… A couple of minutes.
The crowd boo again.
SEB: Because what should have been a moment between two professionals with mutual respect, turned into…
He waves his hand at the ring.
SEB: This. Whatever the fuck this is. Spunking dildo’s and mutual masturbation all round. And that’s cool and all - it has its place. I’ve attended an orgy or two in my time. But this? This is fucking Warfare. And you bunch of over-hyped, overly obnoxious and - I can’t believe of all people I’m saying this but - over-priveledged fuck knuckles are out here treating this place as a joke. And that really shouldn’t surprise me from a group that’s clearly won at all costs… Rather than eat what you earn.
Seb paused as both Remi and Korvaynne start jawing up the ramp at him.
SEB: Which brings me to you, Samuel - you? I can’t blame. Afterall, you just watched Remi try and fail to beat me when she stood looking at me face to face. And let’s be real here - if we’re talking about talent in this little gaggle of gimboids, she’s already head and shoulders above you. So, the only way you were ever going to stand in the middle of that ring with my Universal Championship was by taking advantage of the numbers…
This time it’s Dyson’s turn to shout insults up the ramp.
SEB: Oh… I see you take issue with my assessment. Don’t you worry buddy - because I’ll give you the chance to prove me wrong. Because I will be cashing in my rematch… in the Main Event of Relentless…
And this time, Dyson isn’t just shouting insults, he looks genuinely mad at the prospect. Seb, however, pauses and lets the crowd cheer for the announcement.
SEB: But… That’s then… And this? Well… This is now. And honestly, I don’t feel like waiting for Relentless to put you back in your fucking place.
He pulls off his jacket, to reveal a pair of taped up wrists and fists. He wraps the the last little part of his wrist, before starting to march to the ring.
As he does - Dyson begins to back away, and starts shouting instructions. Seb walks towards the ring, jacket still in hand, as the Ubermensch clearly understands the assignment leaving the ring and striding up the ramp towards Seb as the fans behind him begin pointing at his back and exchanging nudges.
As he gets in close enough, Seb throws his jacket into the Ubermensch’s face… Before driving an electric cattleprod into his stomach! The Ubermensch folds and drops to the floor twitching. Seb reaches back behind him, and reveals what the fans were pointing at. A lead pipe tapped to the back of his t-shirt.
Seb rolls his neck, as the ART Foundation exchange looks - as Seb rushes the ring with the pipe in one hand and the cattle prod in the other, they scatter this way and that as Seb circles the ring swinging at each of them around each side of the ring.
They regroup on the ramp as Seb stands in the ring, shouting up the ramp to where they stand. Sam puts his mic back towards his mouth.
SAMAEL: Alright bitch, you’re that desperate to get embarassed again?! YOU GOT IT! Relentless….you….me….and whatever other schmuck decides to get into our business tonight! IT’S ON YOU EUROTRASH TWIT!
SEB shakes his head “yes” with a huge smile on his face as Samael’s Dyson’s “SICKO” hits the speakers again, ushering the ART Foundation out and leaving SEB standing tall in the ring.
The camera sweeps across the arena.
The ring is already set.
And seated at ringside, with the **BLADE CHAMPIONSHIP BLADE** resting across his lap, is **John Blade**.
The Blade Champion looks relaxed.
Almost amused.
He raises the championship blade as the crowd reacts.
JC “Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we determine the next challenger for the XWF Blade Championship at Relentless. John Blade is here to watch this one personally.”
JR: “Yeah, and I think that's smart. Because these two have a pretty weird history.”
JC: “Weird is one word for it.”
JR: “Deena made it all the way to the final of the Blade Championship tournament. Jay got knocked out in the first round by John. Then Jay became number-one contender anyway. Then Peter Principle decided that if Jay wanted to chase every championship in the building, he could put his Blade contendership on the line against Deena.”
JC: “And now one of them leaves with a guaranteed title match against John Blade.”
John nods toward the ring.
He looks ready.
The lights change.
…
Main Event Ish hits and he walks out behind the XWF Universe wearing an Yeet Sunglasses and a Yeet shirt with a Fetu logo on the side of his pants and a Yeet on the right side and he makes a stop near the steps and raise his hands up and wave'em his Yeet hands and the Universe was following him and they were doing it alone side with him and he kepts on walking down the stairs and slapping kids and adults high five and making his way down the ring…
JC: There he is! The man they call ‘Main Event’! Jay Fetu!
JR: The Yeet master! Ever since he beat Latoya for his #1 contendership for the Blade Championship Blade, he’s been calling his own number everywhere!
JC: He’s been riding high for sure! He very nearly stole the Anarchy Title in a triple-threat match with Miss Furry and Centurion where Fetu’s Fetu Splash ended up putting the XWF Legend down for the count! And since then, he’s loudly been challenging every XWF champion for a shot at their belts!
JR: And Warfare GM Peter Principle got sick of it! That’s why he made this match! If Jay wants everyone else to defend their goods, he’s gonna have to defend his too!
JC: He lost to Deena in that fatal four-way on Anarchy… but this is one-on-one AND this! is ! WARFARE!
Jay walks toward the ring, slapping hands along the way.
Jey climbs over the barricade and sees two Commentary of Castillo and Rogan slapping hands aloneside with Jey Fetu and he gets inside of the ring in climbs on the top rope and continues waving his Yeet hands towards the Universe and he gets down and the XWF Universe shouts replay it once more and he does and gets right back up on the top rope and repeat the same Yeeting with the Universe and hops down and music fades and waits for his Opponent to appear…
Jay looks at John from inside the ring.
Points at him again.
Jay: “RELENTLESS. YEEEEEEEEET.”
John just smiles.
…
Let's light it up hits, and Deena Hixx comes out from behind the curtains and walks out on stage and skips on down the aisle and skips around the ring.
JC: Deena Hixx is a firecracker wrapped in kerosene, Toddrick! She’s less predictable than the lottery!
JR: The Crazy Chick is out there, for sure! But, more recently, she’s sounded damn near coherent! Talking about the boys’ club! About how the Blade Division is all men and how it’s time a woman carried the belt!
JC: Not just A woman! The self-proclaimed best woman wrestler in the world!
JR: She stole a win off Fetu by pinning Kentucky Taggart on Anarchy… but now, she’s gotta do it again, one-on-one!
Deena slides underneath the bottom rope, pops to her feet, and immediately circles Jay.
JC: Oh, we’re getting right into!
JR: Deena ain’t waitin’ for her ticket to Relentless! Ring the bell!
DING DING!
’Main Event’ Jay Fetu
- vs -
Deena Hixx If Deena wins, she takes Jay’s #1 contendership for the BLADE CHAMPIONSHIP BLADE
And just like that, we’re in it!
Jay turns.
Deena circles again.
Jay tries to follow her.
She circles again.
JR: “Jesus Christ, she's fast.”
JC: “Deena Hixx may genuinely be the fastest competitor in XWF.”
Suddenly, Deena stops on a dime!
She looks at Jay.
She looks at John.
Then points at the Blade Championship Blade.
**Deena:** “MINE.”
Jay shakes his head.
**Jay:** “YEET.”
JC: I have no idea what’s happening in their heads.
JR: Likely nothing, Jacuinde! But, somewhere in there, they both want to win more than anything!
Jay charges, arm out!
But Deena’ss already moving!
She ducks underneath him, rebounds off the ropes—
**LOW DROPKICK!**
Jay stumbles.
Deena is already across the ring.
Another rebound.
**SPINNING HEEL KICK!**
Jay ducks.
Deena spins past him.
She lands.
Turns.
Jay grabs her…. No, she’s too fast!
Deena slips underneath his arm.
She pops out behind him.
**ARM DRAG!**
Jay goes rolling.
Deena springs up.
**HURRICANRANA!**
Jay gets thrown across the canvas.
Deena immediately covers.
**ONE!**
**TWO!**
Jay kicks out.
Deena grits her teeth.
She drops an elbow on Jay’s chest!
Then immediately tries again.
**ONE!**
**TWO!**
Jay kicks out.
Deena shakes her head.
**Deena:** “Come on!”
JR: “She's already getting frustrated.”
JC: “And she shouldn't be. That was two very early near-falls.”
JR: “If she gets three more, she might get a free cup of frozen yogurt, but no amount of nearfalls adds up to a win. She needs THREE!”
Deena grabs Jay.
Jay shoves her away.
She hits the ropes.
Jay swings.
Deena ducks.
She rebounds again.
Jay swings again.
Deena ducks again.
The crowd starts cheering every time she starts to build speed.
JC: I don’t know what’s going on, but it feels like this crowd is leaning in Deena’s favor!
Jay stops.
He watches her.
Deena bounces off the ropes again.
Jay doesn't move.
Deena comes flying back—
Jay catches her.
**SAMOAN DROP!**
The ring shakes.
Deena rolls away, clutching her back.
Jay doesn't chase.
He stands.
Watches.
Deena gets up.
She looks annoyed.
Jay points at her.
Deena charges.
Jay catches her mid-charge with a **HIP THRUST TO THE GUT!**
Deena folds.
Jay grabs her.
**NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!**
He bridges.
**ONE!**
**TWO!**
Deena kicks out.
Jay sits up.
He pounds his chest.
Jay: “YEET!”
JR: There he is! Once he starts rolling, the YEET man can’t be beat, man!
Deena gets up behind him.
She jumps.
**MONKEY FLIP!**
Jay gets sent flying.
Deena runs.
**DIVING CROSSBODY!**
She covers.
**ONE!**
**TWO!**
Jay kicks out.
Deena's eyes narrow.
She grabs Jay's arm.
**ARM DRAG!**
Jay rolls.
Deena hits the ropes.
Another.
Another.
She comes flying—
Jay moves.
Deena lands on her feet.
She immediately rebounds again.
Jay waits.
She comes back.
Jay catches her.
**SUPERKICK!**
….
NO! Deena somehow ducks.
Jay's boot whistles over her head.
Deena spins behind him.
**WHEELBARROW BULLDOG!**
Jay crashes.
Deena covers.
**ONE!**
**TWO!**
Jay kicks out.
Deena pounds the mat.
**Deena:** “STAY DOWN!”
John Blade laughs at ringside.
Deena looks toward him with a scowl.
John shrugs, casually adjusting the blade on his lap.
JC: John Blade seems happy watching his two opponents beat the hell out of each other!
JR: Better them than him!
Jay sits up.
Deena turns.
Jay charges.
**FETU SPEAR!**
Deena sidesteps.
Jay crashes into the corner.
Deena charges.
**STINGER SPLASH!**
Jay gets crushed.
Deena grabs him.
**DIVING BULLDOG!**
Jay hits.
Deena hooks the leg.
**ONE!**
**TWO!**
Jay kicks out.
JC: Wow! Deena has been blasting Jay with all she’s got, but Fetu refuses to go down!
JR: Ya gotta remember, Jacuinde! The last few matches he’s lost, he hasn’t gotten pinned! …Well, Except by @getouttamyringerson, but that guy’s a NINJA!
Deena stares at Jay, cradling his stomach, but still showing signs of life… Hurt, but not out.
She grabs Jay.
**HURRICANRANA!**
Jay lands HARD on his back!
Deena covers.
**ONE!**
**TWO!**
Jay kicks out again.
Deena sits up.
**Deena:** “Again!”
JC: Something about the Hixx sisters… when they find a move that works, they just keep doing it!
Hixx pulls Jay back onto his feet… She leaps onto his shoulders in one bound!
HURRICAN-...
No! Jay keeps her upright!
JC: Uh oh! Deena’s in no man’s land!
JR: No WOMAN’s land!
He twists her in his arms…
**FALLAWAY SLAM!**
Deena bounces.
Jay covers.
**ONE!**
**TWO!**
Deena kicks out.
Jay immediately grabs her.
**RUNNING CORKSCREW FOREARM!**
Deena staggers.
Jay catches her.
**SAMOAN DROP!**
Deena crashes.
Jay covers.
**ONE!**
**TWO!**
Deena kicks out.
Jay gets up.
He points toward John Blade.
**Jay:** “YEET.”
John nods like Jay just dropped some sage wisdom…
JC: Does John Blade speak yeet?
Deena hears it.
She rolls her eyes.
Then suddenly charges.
**LOW DROPKICK!**
Jay falls.
Deena is on him instantly.
**ONE!**
**TWO!**
Jay kicks out.
Deena tries again.
**ONE!**
**TWO!**
Jay kicks out.
She tries a third.
Jay powers out and shoves her halfway across the ring.
Deena gets up.
Jay is waiting.
**SUPERKICK!**
Deena ducks.
Jay turns.
Deena hits the ropes.
**FLYING CROSSBODY!**
Jay catches her.
He staggers.
Deena wriggles free.
**HURRICANRANA!**
Jay tumbles toward the ropes.
Deena sees him.
She lets out a howl!
JC: Oh man! She’s screaming for the end! The Deena Wizard!
Deena leaps through the air, her boot out for a…
**DEENA WIZARD!**
…
NO!
Jay ducks!
Deena's knee misses, she eats turnbuckle pad!
Jay spins around.
**SUPERKICK!**
…
NO!
Instead of Deena reeling out of the corner, she clings herself on the ropes!
The kick barely misses, coming up short.
JC: Two attempts to finish this match, two NARROW misses!
Deena cackles confidently.
Jay looks furious.
He charges Deena in the corner!
But Deena slides under back toward the center of the ring!
She runs circles around him.
The crowd starts cheering.
JC: “Jay Fetu is becoming increasingly frustrated!”
JR: “Yeah. And that's exactly what Deena wants.”
Deena bounces off the ropes.
Jay doesn't move.
She bounces off again.
Jay still doesn't move.
She bounces again.
Jay suddenly steps toward her.
Deena changes direction.
Jay doesn't chase.
She changes direction again.
Jay tracks her.
Deena's grin fades.
JC: “What’s going on here? Jay seems content to let Deena run circles around him!”
JC: “She’s buzzing like a butterfly, but when is she gonna sting like a bee?!?”
Deena comes off the ropes.
Jay steps forward.
She goes left.
Jay turns.
She goes right.
Jay turns.
She rebounds.
Jay—
**SUPERKICK!**
Deena stops dead.
Her eyes widen.
**CRACK!**
The kick catches her flush.
JC: Oh my GOD! Jay caught her! Jay’s going to Relentless!
JR: Jay’s a big believer in one yeet being all it takes for a win! And with all that zipping and zopping Deena was doing, Jay had all the time in the world to size up a kick straight to her forehead!
Deena collapses.
The arena erupts.
Jay drops beside her.
He looks toward John Blade.
John is standing now.
Jay points at him.
**Jay:** “YEEEEEEET.”
Then Jay points to the top rope.
He climbs.
JC: “Jay Fetu is going upstairs! Fetu splash incoming!
Jay reaches the top.
He looks down at Deena.
Then at John.
He points directly at the Blade Champion.
**Jay:** “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!”
John raises the championship.
Jay leaps.
**FETU SPLASH!**
But—
Deena rolls!
Jay crashes chest-first into the canvas!
JR: “OH!”
Jay bounces off the mat and rolls over, clutching his ribs.
Deena is already moving.
She crawls toward the ropes.
She pulls herself up.
Jay is on his knees.
He turns.
Deena charges.
**DEENA WIZARD!**
**CRACK!**
Deena's knee takes Jay's head off.
Jay collapses.
Deena falls with him.
She hooks both legs.
**ONE!**
**TWO!**
**THREE!**
**DING! DING! DING!**
Winner and NEEEEEEEEEW BLADE CHAMPIONSHIP BLADE #1 CONTENDER: DEENA HIXX
The arena explodes.
JC: “DEENA HIXX HAS DONE IT!”
Deena sits up.
Her eyes are wide.
She looks toward the referee.
The referee raises her hand.
Deena has won.
JC: Jay Fetu's #1 contendership is gone! Deena Hixx is going to **Relentless**!
JR: We’ll be seeing a rematch from Bad Medicine! John won last time but Deena has never looked more ready to claim championship gold!
Deena turns toward John Blade.
John is still holding the Blade Championship.
He looks at her.
Then at Jay.
Then back at her.
Deena points at the title.
She slaps her chest.
**Deena:** “BEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD!”
John smiles.
He raises the championship.
Deena points at him.
JC: “What a shocking conclusion! Jay Fetu was seconds away from delivering the Fetu Splash, but Deena Hixx had the presence of mind to roll out of the way!”
JR: “And then she absolutely smoked him with that Deena Wizard.”
JC: “John Blade now knows exactly who he will face at Relentless.”
John steps toward the ring.
He raises the Blade Championship.
Deena raises her arms.
Champion and challenger stare at one another.
“Hollywood” by Motionless In White plays throughout the Target Center as ‘Mr. Amazing’ Vincent Jamison walks out, wearing a tan suit like Obama. He walks to the ring, which has been dressed up with talk show fare, including two chairs and a desk, a couple of potted plants and a lush carpet over the mat.
Vincent slaps hands with fans on his way to the ring and gets in, grabbing a microphone.
Vincent Jamison: Minneapolis! How we doin’? I know there are some OGs out there who remember, but for the benefit of those who don’t know about me, this is a little show I call One on One with the Man Himself. I bring out a guest, we shoot the shit, do a little word association. Things like that. So, without further adieu, allow me to introduce tonight’s guest, a man I’ve known for many years now, Jordan Penn!
“True Believers” by Don Broco featuring Sam Carter plays as Jordan walks out, to a mixed reaction. He slowly walks down toward the ring, soaking in the crowd noise. He enters and takes a seat next to Vincent. Jordan looks Vincent up and down.
Jordan Penn: Well, look what the cat dragged in.
VJ: Nice to see you too, Jordan. All right, let’s get right to it. What’s next for you? We’ve got Red Dead Relentless soon and I know you’ve got revenge on your mind. Right?
JP: That bastard Charlie Nickles. First, he made us lose the tag team titles and then, he ruined our chance to regain them. But I guess you can’t trust a snake. I should know. So we’re going to settle this at Red Dead Relentless. No titles, just us, tied together by bull rope. Violence unlimited.
VJ: I’m sure it’s going to be brutal. But let’s not forget the reason why he hit you with the Devil Hook Drop that night. You attacked his sister, Jennie and left her in critical condition.
JP: And what of it? Is anyone here really feeling bad about a serial killer? Besides, I did it for him. Her being gone is the best thing to happen to Charlie in a while. I gave him a reason to fight again. We beat the Exiles. It motivated him. He was going soft.
VJ: I doubt he sees it that way. But no matter. It sounds like you two have a lot to work out in the ring. Let’s shift gears. We’ll do some rapid fire word association. I drop a name, you tell me the first word that comes to mind. Got it?
JP: Shoot.
VJ: Garisha.
JP: Savage.
VJ: Michael Graves
JP: Deviant.
VJ: SEB.
JP: Blood.
VJ: Edgecrusher
JP: Innovative
Vincent laughs at that response.
VJ: Remi Storm.
JP: Chopped.
VJ: Samael Dyson.
JP: Opportunist
VJ: Finally, Charlie Nickles.
Jordan is about to answer when “Bullet with a Name” by Nonpoint plays. Charlie Nickles emerges from backstage and he wastes no time coming down the ramp.
Charlie doesn't wait for the music to die. He's halfway down the ramp when Vincent and Jordan turn to look at him. His jaw is set. His hands are fists.
He slides into the ring under the bottom rope and pops up to his feet. Vincent backs away instinctively. Charlie doesn't even acknowledge him. His eyes are locked on Jordan.
Charlie grabs a microphone from the mat.
Charlie Nickles: You know what the difference is between you and me, Jordan? When I hurt people, I fucking own it. When I break something, I look at the wreckage and I live with it.
I lavish it.
But you? You stand here on national television and you try to spin that shit. You try to make Jennie's blood on your hands sound like some kind of gift. Like you did me a favor.
He takes a step closer. The crowd is losing it.
Charlie: My sister is fighting for her life in a hospital bed because of you. And the only thing that motivates me isn't her being gone. It's knowing she's still breathing. It's knowing she's going to recover. And then she's going to see me do this.
Vincent steps between them, arms raised. Charlie shoves past him like he's nothing.
Charlie: Red Dead Relentless. Bull rope. You wanted violence unlimited? You're gonna get it. And when I tie that rope around your neck and drag you across that canvas, just remember—you chose this. You chose to make this personal. You chose to attack family.
Jordan stands up from his chair, getting in Charlie's face.
Jordan Penn: Bring it on right now then, you son of a bitch!
Jordan throws a wild haymaker. Charlie ducks under it and doesn't swing back. He just steps away, holding up his hands with a sick smile on his face.
Charlie: Nah. Nah, I wanna wait. I wanna enjoy it.
He points directly at Jordan's eyes.
Charlie: I'll see you at Relentless, Brother Penn...
Charlie drops the microphone. It hits the mat with a thud. He turns and walks out of the ring without looking back as the crowd erupts. Vincent stands in the ring looking stunned, while Jordan looks pissed off and ready for a fight tonight!
A voice booms over the arena's speakers.
"DUE TO THE NATURE OF THIS PROGRAM, LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED."[/n]
The sound of a record scratch quickly follows then the detuned roar of of a 7-string guitar rocks the arena. The riff is simple, just a basic power chord progression with single note palm mutes between. It's simplicity keeping the rhythm tight and rattles the rafters.
JC: Edgecrusher… er, MC EC as he calls himself, he’s… certainly something!
JR: He’s the biggest clown on the roster! And the roster has like TWO THOUSAND LITERAL CLOWNS ON IT!
JC: Edgecrusher certainly has moxie! And flair! But what he’s seeking is his first win in his young XWF career! Could he score one tonight over Charlie Nickles?
JR: If he does, it would be the most humiliating loss in Charlie’s career.[/white[
MC Edgecrusher steps out onto the ramp, looks over the crowd of people who could really care less. Somebody throws some random trash. The Edgecrusher just shrugs and jobber jogs to the ring.
Bullet With a Name begins to blare over the loudspeakers as CHARLIE NICKLES makes his way down the ramp... He flashes a shit-eating grin at the audience members as he stands on the apron, eager to inflict pain!
[white]JC: Here he is! Charlie Nickles! And he’s ready to get XXX-Treme!
JR: Charlie’s one of the most extreme competitors that’s ever competed in the XWF, as evidenced by how he follows the X-Treme champion around like a moth to a flame!
Charlie slides into the ring, mean-mugging MC EC…
…
MC Edgecrusher
- vs -
Charlie Nickles XXX-Treme Rules
You know how X-Treme Rules is no rules? XXX-Treme Rules is EVEN LESS RULES!
TO THE XXX-TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEME![/stip]
The bell rings and the Edgecrusher raises both his hands.
MEMC EC: WORD…
Charlie punches him directly in the mouth, sending him crashing backwards into the turnbuckle. Charlie follows him and unloads with a series of rights, ending with a knee to the stomach. MEMC EC doubles over and Charlie grabs him by the dreads and launches him through the ropes. The Edgecrusher hits the floor hard and Charlie follows him out. Charlie grabs EC by the dreads again and sends him face-first into the barricade. The Edgecrusher stumbles backwards and is met with a clothesline to the back of the head that sends him toppling over the barricade and into the crowd. The people in the front row scatter to make room as Charlie hops over the barricade and soccer kicks the Edgecrusher in the face. Something slips out of the back pocket of MEMC EC's pants and Charlie notices. He picks it up and quickly reads the note from Korvayne.
MEMC EC: Hey... don't touch that.
The Edgecrusher starts to get to his knees.
MEMC EC: Put that down, dawg.
Charlie sees Korvayne's signature and laughs when he realizes how important the letter is to EC. He looks the Edgecrusher directly in the eyes, smiles, then rips the paper in half. MEMC EC freezes, a look of shock and horror on his face. Charlie rips the halves in half, and then those halves in half. He throws the shredded paper into the air. It rains down like confetti at a ticker-tape parade onto the Edgecrusher. He doesn't move. MEMC EC looks down at the pieces scattered around him, then back at Charlie. With surprising speed (for him) the Edgecrusher launches himself back to a standing position and blasts Charlie with a massive punch. Charlie stumbles backwards and EC follows in, throwing his own series of rights and lefts. The Edgecrusher pushes him through the crowd and knocks him back over the rail and into the ringside area with a massive uppercut. He grabs a chair as Charlie stands back up. While still standing on the other side of the rail, he nails Charlie with a big swing. Blood splatters out of Charlie's mouth and sprays several people who got brave enough to get too close. Charlie returns to his feet, wipes the blood away, and smiles as EC jumps back into the ringside area and swings again. Another massive blow from the chair sends Charlie flying into the announce table. Charlie grabs a monitor from the wrecked announce desk and smashes it across the Edgecrusher's skull. EC collapses and Charlie starts dragging him toward the ring.
EC suddenly grabs Charlie around the waist and drives him spine-first into the ring apron. EC grabs him again and drives him into the barricade, then does it again, and again, and one last time. The Edgecrusher reaches under the ring and pulls out a table as the crowd explodes. He sets the table up next to the ring when Charlie catches him off guard and kicks him square in the family jewels. EC falls forward, cracking his face off the table and bursting his forehead open, spraying blood like an '80s horror movie into the crowd. Charlie lays MEMC EC out on the table, climbs into the ring, and makes his way to the top rope. Charlie leaps off and comes crashing down onto EC with a huge flying elbow. The table explodes on impact, sending splinters of wood flying into the bloody faces of everybody nearby. Charlie goes for a cover and, to the surprise of everybody, the Edgecrusher kicks out at two and a half. Charlie gets back to his feet, presses left-C, and pulls a trash can out of the crowd. He places the trash can over EC's upper body, then drops a series of elbows onto it. Charlie lifts the Edgecrusher back to his feet with the trash can still over him. EC suddenly explodes forward and uses the trash can as a battering ram. EC tears the can away. Blood rolls down his face.
Charlie gets up and EC swings just as Charlie swings. Neither man bothers to block as they exchange blows. Charlie spits blood directly into EC's eyes and follows up with a headbutt. EC responds with one of his own and both men stagger. Charlie kicks EC in the stomach and attempts to lift him, but it's blocked. Charlie tries again. Blocked again. The Edgecrusher suddenly backdrops Charlie directly onto the corner of the ring. EC rolls Charlie into the ring and both men meet on their feet in the center, trading heavy blows again. Charlie charges. The Edgecrusher catches him and both men tumble back out of the ring. They crash to the floor and neither man moves. Blood streaks the ringside mat and broken furniture surrounds them. Charlie crawls toward the barricade. The Edgecrusher goes in the other direction. His hand lands on something. A piece of paper. The Edgecrusher looks down. It's part of Korvayne's letter, and only a few words remain.
"...real training partner..."
EC closes his bloody fist around the paper. He gets up just as Charlie turns around and nails him with a flying shoulder block. They crash through the barricade and land, crushing several people in the front row. Charlie grabs a beer from the hand of a fan and throws it into EC's face. The Edgecrusher counters by grabbing the fan and throwing him at Charlie. Charlie dodges and the fan crashes into other fans before landing face-first on the edge of a chair. The fight continues up the steps with Charlie slamming EC into the railing. EC flips over the steel bar and nails several fans on the way down. They fight their way back toward the ring with a classic walk-and-brawl. Both men dodge punches that end up connecting with anybody unfortunate enough to be standing nearby. At a still-standing section of barricade, EC attempts to clothesline Charlie back into the ringside area. Charlie pulls a fan in front of himself, who takes the brunt of the blow. All three men flip back into the ringside area.
The Edgecrusher slowly pulls himself back up and rolls into the ring. He's followed shortly by Charlie. Both men, bleeding profusely, pull themselves to their feet using the ropes. They lean against the turnbuckles in opposite corners. EC opens his hand. The piece of paper is still there. He carefully stuffs it into his pocket and points at Charlie.
MEMC EC: You fucked up, dawg.
Charlie smiles through bloody teeth as EC charges toward him. Charlie sidesteps him and EC crashes shoulder-first into the ring post. Charlie grabs him, but EC fights free. Charlie grabs him again. EC elbows him and swings wildly. Charlie catches him. He lifts the Edgecrusher up and looks toward the chaos outside the ring. He carries EC toward the turnbuckle and takes him to the top rope. The Edgecrusher fights back, throwing punches, but Charlie just eats them with a smile. A headbutt gets Charlie wobbling and, for a second, it looks like EC may escape. Charlie launches both of them from the top rope with a spinebuster. They crash down onto the wreckage of furniture at ringside. For a moment, they both lie on the ground side by side, motionless. Charlie slowly rolls over and drapes an arm across the Edgecrusher. The ref counts three, giving Charlie the hard-fought win.
Winner: Charlie Nickles
JC: EC’s best in-ring performance to-date! But the former Universal champion Charlie Nickles proved just too much!
When we come back from commercial break, we see four competitors already waiting in the ring. Kristoffer Arroyo, Dickie Watson, Raised by Wolves Clown, and…..a wolf? Are all positioned inside the ring at their respective corner.
A lone referee stands in the middle of the squared circle, just waiting for the bell to ring.
JC: What a match we have next for you! Arroyo and Watson: the unlikeliest of tag teams, taking on two of the unlikeliest of clowns!
JR: Clowns R Us 2000 are the former tag team champions, so Arroyo and Watson could be in for some tough competition tonight!
JC: Yeah, but….not these clowns in particular. These guys are new!
Kristoffer Arroyo and Dickie Watson
- vs -
Raised by Wolves Clown and Raised by Clowns Wolf Tornado Tag
The bell rings.
There is no hesitation.
Kristoffer Arroyo and Dickie Watson immediately charge across the ring.
Raised by Wolves Clown charges toward them as well.
Raised by Clowns Wolf charges on all fours.
JC: HERE WE GO! TORNADO TAG ACTION! ALL FOUR COMPETITORS ARE LEGAL, AND THERE ARE NO TAGS REQUIRED!
JR: I still can't believe I'm about to call this match.
Watson meets the clown in the center of the ring.
Arroyo meets the wolf.
And for about three seconds, everything is completely normal.
Watson cracks Clown across the jaw with a right hand.
Arroyo drives a knee into Wolf's ribs.
Wolf doesn't react.
He simply bares his teeth.
Arroyo's expression changes.
JC: Arroyo just realized he's punching a wolf!
JC: That's like, a vampire's #1 enemy!
Wolf lunges.
Arroyo barely gets out of the way.
Wolf crashes into the corner.
JC: THE WOLF ALMOST GOT HIM!
Arroyo turns around—
—and Clown comes flying at him.
Arroyo catches him.
BOOM!
A vicious STO plants Clown into the canvas.
JC: DOWN GOES THE CLOWN!
Watson grabs Wolf by the scruff of the neck.
Wolf immediately snaps at Watson's hand.
Watson lets go.
JR: Yeah. Don't grab the wolf.
Watson looks at Arroyo.
Arroyo looks at Watson.
Neither says anything.
They both seem to agree on one thing:
What the hell are we supposed to do with this?
Wolf begins circling Watson.
Watson circles with him.
Wolf growls.
Watson growls back.
JC: Watson is... growling at the wolf.
JR: Maybe he's trying to establish dominance!
Watson suddenly lunges.
Wolf ducks.
Watson goes over him.
Wolf spins around and tackles Watson from behind.
JC: WATSON GOES DOWN!
Wolf climbs on top of him.
Watson covers his face as Wolf paws at him.
JR: That's not wrestling. That's a damn animal attack!
Raised by Wolves Clown starts celebrating.
He hops around the ring.
"GET HIM, WOLF! GOOD BOY!"
Wolf immediately stops attacking Watson.
He looks at Clown.
His ears perk up.
Clown points at Watson.
"GET HIM!"
Wolf resumes attacking.
JC: Apparently, the clown has control of the wolf!
JR: Of course he does. He was raised by clowns!
Watson finally shoves Wolf away.
Wolf lands on his feet.
Watson gets up.
Wolf charges again.
Watson sidesteps.
Wolf hits the ropes.
He rebounds.
Watson catches him with a dropkick.
Wolf rolls across the canvas.
Watson looks stunned.
JR: That's one way to deal with a wolf.
Clown suddenly jumps on Watson's back.
JC: CLOWN ATTACK!
Clown wraps his arms around Watson's neck.
Watson reaches behind him.
Grabs Clown.
And throws him over his head.
Clown lands on the canvas.
He immediately gets up.
He looks at Watson.
Then he starts barking.
BARK! BARK!
Watson stares at him.
JR: He's trying to communicate with the wolf!
Wolf suddenly starts barking back.
BARK! BARK!
Clown barks again.
Wolf barks.
Clown barks.
Wolf barks.
JC: I don't know what they're saying!
JR: Probably something about dinner!
Watson looks at Arroyo.
Arroyo looks at Watson.
Both men shake their heads.
Arroyo grabs Clown.
Watson grabs Wolf.
They whip both opponents toward opposite corners.
Clown crashes into one.
Wolf crashes into the other.
Arroyo and Watson charge.
Watson leaps.
BOOM!
Running dropkick to Wolf.
Arroyo follows.
BOOM!
Running knee into Clown.
Both opponents collapse.
JC: PERFECTLY EXECUTED!
Watson looks at Arroyo.
Arroyo looks at Watson.
Watson points at Clown.
Arroyo points at Wolf.
They both nod.
Then they attack.
Watson hits Clown with a series of lightning-fast kicks.
Arroyo chops Wolf across the chest.
Wolf howls.
HOWWWWWWWL!
Arroyo pauses.
Wolf charges.
Arroyo catches him.
BOOM!
Spinebuster.
The wolf bounces off the mat.
JC: ARROYO JUST DROPPED THE WOLF!
JR: PETA IS NOT GOING TO LIKE THAT!
Clown sees Wolf down.
His eyes go wide.
He runs toward Arroyo.
Arroyo turns.
Clown stops.
He points at Arroyo.
Then at Wolf.
Then at Arroyo again.
Then he starts crying.
Fake crying.
Big theatrical sobbing.
Clown drops to his knees.
He clasps his hands.
He begs Arroyo to spare the wolf.
Arroyo stares at him.
Watson stares at him.
The referee stares at him.
Clown keeps crying.
Then—
He kicks Arroyo directly in the groin!
JC: OH!
Arroyo doubles over.
JR: THERE'S THE RAISED BY WOLVES CLOWN I KNOW!
Clown runs away laughing.
Watson starts laughing.
Arroyo slowly looks at Watson.
Watson immediately stops.
Arroyo grabs Clown.
He whips him across the ring.
Clown rebounds.
BOOM!
Arroyo catches him with a brutal clothesline.
Clown flips inside out.
JC: HE JUST TURNED THE CLOWN INSIDE OUT!
Wolf suddenly leaps onto Arroyo's back.
Arroyo falls forward.
Wolf starts licking the side of Arroyo's face.
JR: What the hell?
Arroyo tries to push him away.
Wolf keeps licking.
Clown begins applauding.
"Good boy!"
Wolf jumps off Arroyo.
Arroyo wipes his face.
He looks absolutely disgusted.
JC: I don't think Arroyo appreciated that.
JR: I don't think anybody would!
Watson suddenly approaches Wolf.
Wolf sniffs him.
Watson reaches into his trunks.
Arroyo looks concerned.
Watson pulls something out.
A dog biscuit.
The crowd erupts.
JC: WHAT?!
JR: You're kidding me.
Watson holds it out.
Wolf sits.
Watson looks at him.
Wolf looks at the biscuit.
Watson throws it toward the corner.
Wolf immediately takes off after it.
JC: WATSON DISTRACTED THE WOLF WITH A DOG TREAT!
JR: I don't know whether to call that brilliant or insulting!
Wolf grabs the biscuit.
He starts chewing.
Watson nods.
Then turns around.
Clown is standing directly behind him.
Watson turns.
Clown swings.
Watson ducks.
Clown accidentally punches Wolf.
Wolf drops the biscuit.
Silence.
Wolf slowly turns toward Clown.
Clown's smile disappears.
JR: Oh, boy.
Wolf growls.
Clown backs away.
"Good boy?"
Wolf growls louder.
Clown runs.
Wolf chases him.
JC: THE WOLF IS CHASING HIS OWN PARTNER!
JR: He shouldn't have touched the biscuit!
Watson is laughing.
Arroyo is laughing.
For the first time all match, they're actually laughing together.
Then Wolf catches Clown.
He tackles him.
Clown rolls across the mat.
Wolf pounces on him.
Clown screams.
"FRIENDLY! FRIENDLY!"
Wolf stops.
Clown slowly gets up.
He pats Wolf on the head.
Wolf licks him.
Clown smiles.
Then Wolf bites him on the ass.
"AAAAAH!"
Clown leaps straight into the air.
JR: He bit him! Right in the asshole!
Clown runs in circles holding his backside.
Watson is doubled over laughing.
Arroyo can't help himself.
He starts laughing too.
The two men look at each other.
They realize they're laughing together.
Then they look at the clowns.
Watson points.
Arroyo nods.
Watson charges Clown.
BOOM!
Superkick.
Clown drops.
Arroyo grabs Wolf.
BOOM!
Running knee.
Wolf collapses.
Watson pulls Clown up.
Arroyo pulls Wolf up.
They whip both opponents toward each other.
BOOM!
Wolf and Clown collide.
Both drop.
Watson climbs the ropes.
Arroyo drags Wolf toward the center.
JC: WATSON GOING UP!
Watson launches.
BOOM!
SHOOTING STAR PRESS!
[white]JC: WATSON CONNECTS!
Watson rolls through.
Arroyo immediately locks Wolf in the Snuff Machinery.
Wolf thrashes.
His paws scrape at the canvas.
Clown sees his partner in trouble.
He crawls toward them.
JC: CLOWN IS TRYING TO MAKE THE SAVE!
Clown reaches Watson.
Watson catches him.
BOOM!
Hurricanrana.
Clown crashes to the mat.
Watson covers.
ONE!
TWO!
Clown kicks out.
JC: SO CLOSE!
Watson pulls Clown up.
Clown suddenly pulls a tiny clown horn from his pocket.
He squeezes it.
HONK!
Watson freezes.
Clown squeezes it again.
HONK!
Watson stares.
Clown grins.
HONK!
Watson punches him in the face.
JR: He honked the horn three times.
JC: That was his mistake.
Meanwhile, Wolf is still trapped.
He begins clawing at Arroyo's arms.
Arroyo grits his teeth.
JC: ARROYO HAS THE WOLF TRAPPED!
Wolf howls.
HOWWWWWWWL!
Arroyo tightens the hold.
Wolf's resistance fades.
Clown crawls toward them.
Watson intercepts him.
Clown reaches into his pocket again.
Watson immediately grabs his wrist.
JC: WATSON ISN'T FALLING FOR IT AGAIN!
Clown looks terrified.
He points toward the other side of the ring.
Watson looks.
Nothing.
Watson looks back.
Clown is already running.
Watson chases.
Clown dives underneath the bottom rope.
Watson follows.
Outside the ring, Clown runs around the barricade.
Watson follows.
Inside the ring—
Wolf stops fighting.
His body goes limp.
JC: WOLF ISN'T MOVING!
The referee checks.
Wolf is conscious.
But he has stopped resisting.
JC: HE'S TAPPING!
The referee calls for the bell.
Winners - Arroyo and Watson!
The show is quickly interrupted by the sound of a distant synthesizer, followed up by horses neighing and galloping through the dirt. It fades out, leading into the riff of a guitar strumming a fiery tune. There's an inherent electricity building within the air of the high seas, culminating as the drums kick in. As they do, the steadfast figure of Scoops McGee comes out onto the deck, a look of no nonsense etched onto his face as he takes a long look at the crowd and the pirate ship.
JC: There he is! Scoops McGee! What a year he’s had!
JR: And how quickly it’s all turned to shit!
JC: …Wow, Joe, way to oversimplify! Earlier this year, Scoops beat Micheal Graves for the King of the XWF crown! He won the Universal Title!
JR: And since then he’s lost to SEB to drop his belt and lost to Jenny Myst to boot! And then he had a shot to climb back up the ladder against Judd Hollow and lost to him too!
JC: In order, you’re talking about the current Universal champion, the woman with the most X-Treme title reigns in the XWF’s Modern Era and one of the most promising young guns in XWF today!
JR: Whatever, Jacuinde! I stand with the Trillionaires! Scoops is over the hill! He should retire… but just before that, he should induct Elon Musk into the Hall of Legends at Relentless!!!
JC: That is what is on the line at Relentless![w/hite]
Scoops nods, steadily walking to the center of the deck and absentmindedly high-fiving any fans or… pirates… or pirate ghosts? stretching out their hands who happen to be right in his way. He makes his way over to ringside, climbing up the steps of the ship methodically and stepping onto the deck. He saunters aboutn, taking one last long look at the crowd as they give their reception to the seasoned vet. Scoops stretches his arms out wide, accepting everything they've got to give before slamming his forearm against his palm.
Scoops skulks over to his corner, pacing there and doing some small stretches to keep himself warmed up before the match begins.
…
“Hollywood” by Motionless in White starts pumping through the arena.
“It’s always on the weekend, like neon in the night, when Hollywood is bleeding it never seems to die.”
A movie trailer announcer voice comes on.
Ladies and gentlemen. The Man…has come home.
The lights flicker. One firework shoots from the top of the arena down to the stage. Boom! A man appears, wearing a black hoodie and black leather pants with blue flames at the bottom. A spotlight shines on him as he lifts his head and pulls back the hood to reveal...
[b]'Mr. Amazing' Vincent Jamison
[white]JC: There he is! Vincent Jamison! Mister Amazing himself!
JR: After fourteen years gone, the Amazing One has come home to the XWF and it feels… Amazing!
JC: Mr. Amazing has been a former XWF Tag Team champion. And he pinned XWF Legend Lee Stone!
JR: Mr. Amazing is XWF royalty for sure! A two-time XWF Tag Team champion… he’s pinned some of the best the XWF has to offer. Can he add Scoops McGee to that list of names tonight? That would be… AMAZING!
Mr. Amazing sports black Ray Ban shades over his eyes, which themselves are coated in face paint, red on the right eye, blue on the left. He walks to the ring with purpose and swagger as he slaps hands with people in the crowd. He hands his sun glasses off to a kid before climbing onto the ring apron.
He takes off the hoodie and hands it off to the ring crew. He tests the top rope's tightness with a tug before using it to flip over the top rope, landing feet first in the ring.
"Sometimes the ones you trust most are the ones twisting the knife (twisting the knife)
So we keep running and we're running 'til our hearts explode
We're living like we're dying, but we're still hollow
So love me like I'm already your enemy"
He takes in the crowd's cheers as he looks around the arena.
"And just when you think you're at the top of the chain
Someone comes around and puts you back in your place
The hunter and hunted are one in the same"
Mr. Amazing climbs a turnbuckle and raises his arms over his head in an X shape. Pyro ignites from the remaining three ring posts.
Vincent moves to the center of the ring and awaits the start of the match.
Scoops McGee stood in his corner, shoulders rising and falling as he stared across the ring.
JC: Sixty-three years old. Four decades of wrestling behind him. His body looked like it had been assembled from old scar tissue, stubbornness, and whatever materials they used to build farm equipment.
Across from him stood Vincent Jamison.
Mr. Amazing.
The younger man—though “younger” was doing some heavy lifting these days—rolled his shoulders, bounced lightly on the balls of his feet, and flashed Scoops a confident grin.
JC: “What an incredible match, previously only thought-of by fans in debates and what-ifs… Here we go! Two men who have spent an incredible amount of time in this business, but who have taken dramatically different paths to get here!”
JR: “Yeah. Scoops is sixty-four years old.”
JC: “Yes.”
JR “Sixty-FOUR.”
JC: “I heard you the first time.”
JR: “I just want to make sure everybody understands what we're looking at.”
JC: “He is the oldest active wrestler in this match, Joe. And earlier this year, he won the King of the XWF tournament AND his first ever Universal championship”
JR: “And he is going to try to punch a guy in the face until the problem goes away.”
JC: “That is a remarkably accurate scouting report.”[/white]
Vincent stepped forward.
Scoops did the same.
They met in the middle of the ring.
Vincent extended a hand.
Scoops looked at it.
Then with a gruff grunt, he shakes it.
The crowd roared.
JC: A little pre-match sportsmanship between two former world champions! Vincent a one-time world champion from GCW, Scoops a former XWF Universal champion!
JR: This one’s a biggie, Jacuinde! No doubt about it!
DING DING
Scoops McGee
- vs -
‘Mister Amazing’ Vincent Jamison Standard One Fall
The two locked up.
Vincent immediately gained the advantage, slipping his arm underneath Scoops' and twisting him into a standing wristlock. Scoops grimaced, his jaw tightening as Vincent cranked the wrist.
Vincent gave him a little shake of the arm.
Scoops' eyes narrowed.
He rotated underneath the hold, rolled his shoulder, and reversed it.
Vincent's expression changed instantly.
Now it was his wrist being twisted.
Scoops cranked the hold and leaned his entire body into it.
JC: “Beautiful reversal by Scoops McGee!”
JR: “Literally NO ONE has more experience than Scoops.”
JC: “Exactly. Vincent may have the physical tools, but Scoops has spent more than forty years learning how to get out of things like that.”
JR: “Flip side, no one has more mileage on his engine than Scoops!”
Vincent dropped to a knee, rolled forward, and somersaulted through the wristlock.
He popped back up.
Scoops was waiting.
Vincent ducked a forearm.
Scoops swung again.
Vincent ducked.
Scoops swung a third time.
Vincent ducked and immediately snapped off a dropkick.
Scoops staggered backward.
Vincent kipped back to his feet.
He spread his arms.
The crowd reacted.
Mr. Amazing smirked.
JC: “And there's the athleticism!”
JR: “AURA! FOR! DAYS!”
Vincent spun once for the crowd and then bowed to his opponent.
[white]JC: Lots of aura and maybe a little attitude! Jamison showed Scoops respect before the bell rang and now he’s a little bit more of a showman!
Scoops wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
Then he charged.
Vincent's eyes widened.
Scoops launched a running hip attack directly into his midsection.
THUD!
Vincent folded over.
Scoops grabbed him by the head and drove a knee into his face.
Vincent stumbled backward.
Scoops grabbed the wrist.
Short-arm.
LEFT FOREARM.
CRACK!
Vincent spun halfway around.
The crowd erupted.
JR: “OH!”
JC: “THE CATTLE PROD!”
Vincent dropped to one knee.
Scoops stood over him, breathing heavily.
JR: “That left forearm is ridiculous.”
JC: “He doesn't just hit you with it, Joe. He hits you like he's trying to remove your head from your shoulders.”
Scoops grabbed Vincent by the hair and pulled him upright.
Vincent responded with a right hand.
Scoops rocked backward.
Vincent hit another.
Then another.
Scoops absorbed them.
Vincent fired a fourth.
Scoops caught the wrist.
He yanked Vincent toward him.
LEFT FOREARM!
Vincent's head snapped sideways.
Scoops hooked him.
SCOOP SLAM!
Vincent hit the canvas hard.
Scoops immediately covered him.
ONE!
TWO!
Vincent kicked out.
Scoops slapped the mat in frustration.
He pushed himself upright, but the effort was already visible in his breathing.
Vincent rolled toward the ropes.
Scoops followed.
Vincent used the ropes to pull himself upright.
Scoops grabbed him from behind.
Atomic drop!
Vincent bounced forward, clutching his backside.
Scoops charged.
Running boot!
Vincent dropped to the canvas.
Scoops pointed toward the corner.
He began moving in that direction.
JC: “Scoops is setting up something here!”
JR: “This is where being sixty-four becomes interesting.”
JC: “Interesting?”
JR “Yeah. Because he's got the experience to know exactly what he wants to do.”
JC: “But?”
JR: “But his body has to actually cooperate.”
Scoops backed into the opposite corner.
He waited.
Vincent slowly pushed himself up.
Scoops charged.
Vincent suddenly moved.
Scoops crashed chest-first into the turnbuckles.
He stumbled backward.
Vincent spun.
SUPERKICK!
Scoops collapsed onto his back.
Vincent dropped beside him.
He grabbed Scoops' head and began hammering him with forearms.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Scoops covered up.
Vincent stopped.
He stood.
His expression changed.
The grin returned.
He slapped his own chest.
Scoops rolled toward the ropes.
Vincent charged.
SPEAR!
No!
Scoops sidestepped at the last possible instant.
Vincent slammed shoulder-first into the turnbuckle.
Scoops immediately grabbed him.
NECKBREAKER!
Vincent's head bounced off the canvas.
Scoops didn't cover.
Instead, he dragged Vincent up by the wrist.
He whipped him toward the ropes.
Vincent rebounded.
Scoops dropped.
Vincent sailed over him.
Scoops popped up.
Vincent hit the opposite ropes.
Scoops turned.
LARIAT!
Vincent flipped inside out.
The crowd came alive.
JC: “WHAT A CLOTHESLINE!”
JR: “That's what happens when you have forty years of knowing exactly when to throw the damn thing.”
Scoops rolled onto his knees.
He was breathing harder now.
Vincent was motionless.
JC: “This is where those intangibles come into play! Stamina! Conditioning!
JR: Vince has gotten his marbles knocked into next week, but Scoops ran outta knee cartilage back when years started starting with 2! It’s not gonna be a race to the finish line, it’s gonna be which car gets hit hard enough to explode first!
Scoops slowly got to his feet.
He looked down at Vincent.
Then toward the crowd.
Then back at Vincent.
He slapped his thigh.
Scoops hauled Vincent upright.
He hooked him.
DDT!
Vincent's face bounced off the canvas.
Scoops rolled him over.
ONE!
TWO!
Vincent kicked out.
Scoops sat back on his heels.
His expression was a mixture of irritation and disbelief.
JC: “Vincent Jamison survives again!”
JR: “You have to wonder how much longer Scoops can keep this pace.”
JC: “That's the concern. Scoops has been able to withstand extraordinary punishment throughout his career, but his stamina is not what it once was.”
JR: “Pain tolerance and cardio aren't the same thing.”
Jacuinde: “Exactly.”
Scoops pushed himself upright.
Vincent was already crawling toward the corner.
Scoops followed.
Vincent pulled himself up using the ropes.
Scoops grabbed him from behind.
Back suplex!
Vincent landed hard.
Scoops rolled through.
He hooked Vincent's leg.
ONE!
TWO!
Vincent kicked out again.
Scoops slapped the mat.
Then he grabbed Vincent by the ankle.
He dragged him toward the center.
He crossed Vincent's legs.
He began twisting.
JC: “MERRY-GO-ROUND!”
Scoops dropped into the spinning toe hold.
Vincent screamed.
He immediately reached for the ropes.
Scoops kept twisting.
Vincent dragged himself.
Inches.
Another inch.
Scoops twisted harder.
Vincent clawed.
His fingertips brushed the bottom rope.
Scoops released.
Vincent immediately rolled out of the ring.
The crowd booed.
Scoops stood in the ring.
His hands rested on his knees.
He was breathing heavily.
JR: “That's smart by Vincent.”
JC: “Absolutely. He knows he can't afford to let Scoops dictate the pace.”
JR: “And Scoops can't afford to chase him around forever.”
Vincent stood on the floor.
He rubbed his ankle.
He looked into the ring.
Scoops stared back.
Vincent smiled.
He slapped the apron.
Then he stepped back inside.
Scoops moved toward him.
Vincent immediately kicked him in the stomach.
DDT!
No!
Scoops shoved him away.
Vincent bounced off the ropes.
SCOOP SLAM!
Vincent's back hit the mat.
Scoops grabbed him.
He pulled him upright.
Vertical suplex position.
Vincent's eyes widened.
Scoops tried to lift.
Vincent blocked.
Scoops tried again.
Nothing.
Vincent drove a forearm into Scoops' ribs.
Scoops released him.
Vincent hit another.
Then another.
Scoops staggered.
Vincent grabbed his head.
REVERSE DDT!
Scoops crashed down.
Vincent rolled away.
Both men were down.
The referee began counting.
“ONE!”
Neither moved.
“TWO!”
Vincent rolled onto his side.
“THREE!”
Scoops was flat on his back.
“FOUR!”
Vincent pushed himself onto his hands and knees.
“FIVE!”
Vincent reached the ropes.
“SIX!”
Scoops rolled toward the opposite side.
“SEVEN!”
Vincent pulled himself upright.
“EIGHT!”
Scoops stood.
“NINE!”
Both men turned.
They charged toward one another.
Vincent threw a punch.
Scoops threw a punch.
Both connected.
Vincent stumbled.
Scoops stumbled.
Another punch.
Another.
Another.
The crowd began chanting.
“MIS-TER. A-MAAAAAAZ-ING!”
“SCOOPS MC-GEE!”
Vincent threw a right.
Scoops answered with a left.
Vincent's head snapped sideways.
Scoops threw another.
Vincent blocked it.
Vincent fired a kick to the ribs.
Scoops doubled over.
Vincent grabbed him.
FULL NELSON SLAM!
Scoops hit hard.
Vincent dropped onto him.
ONE!
TWO!
SCOOPS KICKED OUT!
Vincent's face immediately went from confidence to disbelief.
He sat up.
He looked toward the referee.
“Two?!”
The referee held up two fingers.
Vincent shook his head.
He slapped his own forehead.
Then he looked back down at Scoops.
His expression hardened.
He stood.
He backed into the corner.
JC: “Vincent Jamison is measuring him!”
JR “This could be the Amazing Splash.”
Vincent climbed the ropes.
He reached the top.
Scoops was still down.
Vincent stood.
He leapt.
AMAZING SPLASH!
Scoops moved!
Vincent crashed stomach-first onto the canvas.
JR: “OH, GOD!”
JC: “SCOOPS MOVED!”[/white
Vincent rolled onto his side, clutching his ribs.
Scoops slowly pushed himself up.
He looked at Vincent.
Then at the corner.
Then back at Vincent.
He staggered forward.
He grabbed Vincent.
Scoop slam!
No!
Vincent slipped behind him.
GERMAN SUPLEX!
Scoops landed on his neck and shoulders.
Vincent bridged.
ONE!
TWO!
SCOOPS KICKED OUT!
Vincent rolled away, breathing hard.
Both men were exhausted.
Scoops slowly sat up.
Vincent sat up across from him.
They stared at each other.
For the first time all match, neither man smiled.
Vincent wiped sweat from his brow.
Scoops wiped blood from his lip.
Vincent slowly stood.
Scoops followed.
Vincent stepped forward.
He offered his hand again.
Scoops looked at it.
Vincent smiled.
Scoops took it.
Vincent immediately pulled him in.
AXE KICK!
Scoops ducked.
The kick missed.
Scoops caught Vincent from behind.
BACK SUPLEX!
Vincent crashed down.
Scoops rolled over him.
He grabbed Vincent's legs.
He started setting them up again.
MERRY-GO-ROUND!
Vincent kicked wildly.
Scoops grabbed his ankle.
Vincent kicked again.
Scoops held on.
Vincent reached backward.
He caught Scoops by the face.
Thumb to the eye!
The referee shouted at Vincent.
Vincent released him.
Scoops stumbled backward.
Vincent got to his feet.
He charged.
SPEAR!
Scoops jumped!
Vincent sailed underneath him.
Vincent turned around.
Scoops was already waiting.
SHORT-ARM LEFT FOREARM!
CRACK!
Vincent staggered.
Scoops grabbed him.
He hooked him.
The crowd rose to its feet.
[white]JC: “BIG SCOOP!”
JR: “HE'S GOT HIM!”
Scoops tried to lift.
Vincent blocked.
Scoops tried again.
Vincent planted his feet.
Scoops grunted.
His face contorted with effort.
Vincent hammered his back with elbows.
Scoops released him.
Vincent spun.
SUPERKICK!
Scoops stumbled backward into the ropes.
Vincent charged.
SPEAR!
Scoops dropped!
Vincent went flying through the ropes and crashed onto the floor.
JC: “BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!”
Vincent lay sprawled outside the ring.
Scoops was on his knees inside.
Neither man moved.
The referee looked from one to the other.
The crowd began counting.
“ONE!”
Scoops grabbed the bottom rope.
“TWO!”
Vincent rolled onto his stomach.
“THREE!”
Scoops pulled himself upright.
“FOUR!”
Vincent crawled toward the apron.
“FIVE!”
Scoops looked over the ropes.
Vincent grabbed the apron.
“SIX!”
Vincent pulled himself up.
“SEVEN!”
Scoops reached through the ropes.
He grabbed Vincent by the hair.
Vincent grabbed Scoops by the wrist.
They glared at each other.
Then Vincent pulled.
Scoops pulled back.
Neither gave an inch.
JR: “This is just two stubborn bastards refusing to be the first one to blink.”
JC: “That's a very Rogan-esque way of putting it.”
JR: “Am I wrong?”
JC: “No.”
Vincent suddenly yanked Scoops forward.
Scoops' chest slammed against the ropes.
Vincent climbed onto the apron.
He hooked Scoops' head.
DDT!
Scoops blocked.
Vincent tried again.
Scoops shoved him away.
Vincent landed on the apron.
Scoops grabbed him.
Shoulder tackle through the ropes!
Vincent went flying backward.
He landed hard on the floor.
JC: “AMONG WILLOWS!”
JR: “Scoops just launched that man into the damn barricade!”
Scoops leaned over the ropes.
He watched Vincent struggle.
Then he looked at the crowd.
The audience was on its feet.
Scoops climbed through the ropes.
He dropped to the floor.
He walked toward Vincent.
Vincent was using the barricade to pull himself upright.
Scoops grabbed him.
Vincent suddenly drove his elbow backward.
Scoops staggered.
Vincent turned.
FOREARM!
Scoops rocked.
Vincent threw another.
Scoops absorbed it.
Vincent threw a third.
Scoops caught him.
He rammed Vincent back-first into the barricade.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
Vincent's face contorted in pain.
Scoops grabbed the back of his head.
He raised his fist.
Vincent blocked.
Vincent slammed a knee into Scoops' stomach.
Scoops doubled over.
Vincent grabbed the back of his head.
He ran.
BULLDOG!
Scoops' face slammed into the top edge of the barricade.
The crowd gasped.
Vincent stood over him.
His chest heaved.
He looked down.
For just a moment, the old Mr. Amazing swagger disappeared.
What remained was exhaustion.
And determination.
Vincent grabbed Scoops.
He dragged him back toward the ring.
Scoops suddenly stopped.
He drove a forearm into Vincent's stomach.
Then another.
Then the left.
CRACK!
Vincent's legs buckled.
Scoops grabbed him.
He tried to lift.
Vincent blocked.
Scoops tried again.
Still nothing.
Scoops snarled.
Vincent drove another elbow into his ribs.
Scoops stumbled backward.
Vincent charged.
Scoops sidestepped.
Vincent went shoulder-first into the ring post.
He bounced backward.
Scoops caught him.
He pulled Vincent around.
SCOOP SLAM!
ON THE FLOOR!
Vincent's back hit the unforgiving arena surface.
Scoops stared down at him.
He was breathing like he'd just run a mile.
The referee was shouting at both men to get back into the ring.
Scoops didn't listen.
He grabbed Vincent by the wrist.
He began dragging him toward the ring.
Vincent suddenly stopped.
He reached up.
He grabbed Scoops' head.
And pulled him down.
The two veterans crashed together on the floor.
Neither moved.
The crowd roared.
JC: “I don't even know how either one of these men is still moving!”
JR: “They're both too damn stubborn.”
JC: “That may be the story of this entire match!”
Scoops rolled onto his side.
Vincent rolled the other way.
They slowly began crawling toward the ring.
Finally, both men reached the apron.
Scoops grabbed the bottom rope.
Vincent grabbed the edge.
They pulled themselves upward.
They entered the ring from opposite sides.
Scoops stood first.
Vincent stood second.
They turned toward each other.
And immediately charged.
JC: “Here we go!”
Vincent swings a right hand!
Scoops ducks under, spinning out!
He boots Vincent in the stomach!
No! Vincent catches it!
He spins Scoops around!
But Scoops at SIXTY-FOUR GODDAMNED YEARS OLD PULLS OFF AN ENZIGUIRI!
JR: Holy SHIT!
JC: Scoops wasn’t lyin’ when he said he’s in his prime!
Vincent looks dazed, not only by the kick but the fact that it was just executed by Scoops McGee!
McGee, riding the adrenaline, hoists Jamison into the air…
THE
BIG
SCOOP!
JC: HE HIT IT! SCOOPS HIT IT!
Jamison hits the mat like a sack full of bricks! Scoops collapses on top of him!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Winner: Scoops McGee!
JC: What a win for Scoops McGee! He pulls off a major win over a former world champion! Lotta momentum heading into Relentless!
[/b]
TC: The following contest is for the XWF Television Chammmpiooooonshiiiiiiip!!
The speakers around the arena come alive…
TC: Introducing first…
The arena lighting dims to black. Pink and silver lightning streak across the screen.
[pink]TC: The challenger, from Wellesley Massachusetts— weighing in at 117 pounds. She is one half of the XWF Tag Team Champions…
[b]"She went bad
Made her pretty little world turn black
Miss perfect never had a chance
Threw a middle finger up
She's heading to hell anyway"
Twin pink sparkly spotlights hit the entryway as Remi skips out from behind the curtains. She pauses at the top of the ramp with one half of the XWF Tag Team Championships, tossing her hair over her shoulder— scanning the screaming audience before her. With a smile, she scampers down towards the ring as the spotlights follow. Once there, she grabs ahold of a post, swinging around it while blowing a kiss to the camera
[white]JC: Storm had a big opportunity a couple of weeks ago when she faced SEB for the Universal Championship…
JR: Yeah, and while she was unsuccessful it was a war and Sebastian literally had to make her pass out to get the victory!
JC: In the end though, neither left champion. It was Samael Dyson cashing in and taking the belt!
She hops up onto the apron and rolls over the top rope. She crosses to the other side, giving a little shimmy dance as she does. She nimbly leaps onto the turnbuckle, lifting both hands over her head and flashing a cocky grin. The spotlights cut out, the lighting strobing pink and silver before returning to normal as Remi steps down onto the mat.
TC: Reeemmmmmmmi Stoorrrrrrrrrrm!!!
TC: …and her opponent, being accompanied by Malachi Graves and Dr. Glen— weighing in at 160 pounds…
The unsettling opening of Rok Nardin’s “Bad Blood” cranks up over the speakers. Fog rises from the aisle, staying at shin level. Through the haze steps Malachi Graves holding the XWF Television Championship. He’s clad in his reverend attire yet does not appear as relaxed and focused as he would when escorting Judd Hollow to the ring.
He looks anxious, perhaps a little worried. From behind him comes Garisha. Her eyes are wild and bulging; everyone can see it despite her long dark hair being a mess and concealing portions of her face. She’s clad in simple attire. Conservative. Leaving nothing for the perverted minds in the stands and watching on TV to latch onto.
Beside her arrives Dr. Glen. His eyes are focused intently on her, never straying as they head toward the ring. He says stuff to Garisha and Malachi. When they get to the ring steps, Malachi pulls her in close, hugging her. He then places his hands on her shoulders and says things not picked up by the camera.
He then motions up the stairs and she lets out a roar, jetting up the steps in a blur and entering the ring like a woman possessed.
TC: She is the XWF Television Champion, Garisssssssshhhhhha!!!
The official takes the belt and holds it into the air…
JR: Television Championship match about to get under way. I must say, Garisha has had a great start to her career.
JC: Well with her past it’s a good thing something is finally going right for her!
JR: You know and it might be weird to say, but I genuinely do believe that Reverend Graves and Dr. Glen do care about Garisha’s well being in a sick and twisted way?
The bell rings and neither woman moves immediately. Remi cautious because of Garisha’s ferociousness, Garisha measures Remington and monitoring her prey. They circle each other a couple times before Garisha charges forward first. She grabs at Remington by both of her shoulders, but Remi instantly kicks her in the stomach, stopping her from locking up. Remi steps away, laughing in the process. Garisha gets aggravated and looks at the official. After a second she looks to Malachi.
JC: Remi is really trying to get under the champions skin here…
JR: Trust me, we know what is under Garisha’s skin. We don’t want to see that transformation!
JC: I fear you may be right, Joe…
Garisha looks Remi Storm up and down. The two come forward again, and Remington side-steps Garisha, smacking her in the back of the head, laughing and becoming arrogant. Garisha reaches out sending Remi over with a hip toss causing her to crash to the mat. Garish tries to stay aggressive and darts forward trying to fall on Remington but Remi sends a boot upward kicking Garisha in the face.
Garisha stumbles backward staying on her feet as Remington kips up and speeds forward, she jumps into the air and twists, wrapping her legs around Garisha’s neck and spinning her— sending her crashing to the mat with a head-scissors takedown.
JR: That was a beautiful head scissors from the challenger!!
JC: Remi was unsuccessful in a war a couple weeks ago with Sebastian Everett-Bryce. Looking to rebound and win gold here tonight…
Remi stands and runs forward as Garisha rolls into her back. Remi jumps into the air and lands on Garisha’s stomach with a beautiful Denton sending Garisha rolling out of the ring and over toward Malachi Graves.
13:01
13:00
12:59
Malachi and Dr Glen try to help calm Garisha down, but Remi wastes no time, running forward and climbing the top rope, spinning around and diving off landing a Moonsault that sends all three of them crashing onto the ringside floor…
JC: Remington Storm with the Moonsault to the outside!! Amazing!!!
JR: She is keeping the pressure on, I’m loving it!!
Remi Storm stands up and then hypes up the crowd in the Target Center. She reaches down and starts lifting Garisha to her feet by the arm, but Garisha pulls Remi forward as she stands and locks her hands around Remi’s waist, launching her viciously into the barricade.
Remi rolls around on the concrete floor in pain as Garisha lets out a yell. She steps over to Remington and looks down at her. Garisha stomps down on Remi’s hand— it’s followed by a second stomp and then Garisha backtracks to help Malachi to his feet.
The official now starts the ten count as both competitors ignore the warning to get into the ring. Garisha snaps and yells at the official while she leans down and grabs Remington by the hair dragging her over by the steel ring steps. Garisha places Storm’s head against the steps and backs up looking at her with vile intentions…
JR: Garisha looking to do something deranged to Remi…
JC: Garisha is unhinged, Joe. She should be as far away from a wrestling ring as possible!
Garisha charges forward and launches, extending her knee out to strike Remington’s head against the rimg steps but Remi rolls away and Garisha collides with the steps violently. Garisha rolls on the ringside floor gripping her knee and kicking around.
1…. 2…. 3…. 4….
10:45
10:44
10:43
Remi climbs to a knee and looks around. She stands up and then walks over to Garisha, reaching down and grabbing her wrist pulling her to standing position. Remington sends Garisha back into the ring through the bottom rope and then climbs to the apron as Garisha pulls herself to stand.
As Garisha stands she turns in Remi’s direction and Remi springs off the top rope with a crossbody block. Remington connects, but Garisha catches her and falls forward directly on top of her
JC: Body slam from the champion! What a great counter!!
JR: Don’t let the lack of wrestling matches fool you, Garisha is very observant…
Garisha spins on top of Remi in mount position and begins to rake at Remi’s eyes and send dozens of hammer fists down on top of her. Remi uses her hands to cover up and tries to wiggle away, eventually rolling onto her back. Garisha starts to drive elbows into the back of Remington’s head before rolling her over onto her back going for a pin attempt…
1..
2..
KICKOUT!!
Remi Storm kicks out and Garisha stands to her feet. She frantically scrambles around the ring with rage, yelling at the official. Malachi starts to talk to her, helping calm the wildling down.
8:36
8:35
8:34
Garisha walks over to Remington as Remi rolls onto her stomach and starts to crawl over to the ropes. Garisha reaches down and grabs Remi yanking her to her feet from behind. She applies a pressure hold to Remi’s shoulder, but Remi reaches backward and grabs Garisha’s neck dropping forward with a stunner. It sends Garisha staggering.
JR: Champion looking a bit stunned right now…
JC: Remington doing everything she needs to tonight to let this moment slip away!
JR: You know, she really hates being called Remington…
Garisha bumps the ropes and comes rebounding back as Remi stands. Remington kicks Garisha in the stomach and then grabs her wrist, sending her rolling with an arm drag.
The arm drag sends Garisha reeling into the corner. Remi runs forward and drop kicks Garisha from the corner, and like a Q Ball, Garisha bounces outward stumbling to the center of the ring. Keeping momentum going Storm darts forward and drives Garisha down face first to the mat with a running bulldog. Rolling Garisha on her back Remi looks for a pin…
1..
2..
KICKOUT!!
Following the kickout by Garisha, Remington digs her hands into the mat and comes to one knee. Remi climbs to another. She reaches down and lifts Garisha under the arm, standing her up. Garisha is quick to rake Remi in the eyes though. It causes a temporary blindness, allowing Garisha to wrap both hands around Remi Storm’s neck, hoisting her into the air and sending her crashing back-first to the mat with a huge double handed sit-out chokebomb. Garisha stays in position for a pin…
1..
2..
KICKOUT!!
6:09
6:08
6:07
Garisha howls with anger as she pushes Remi away. Remi rolls onto her stomach. They both take a moment to gain some rest. Garisha is first to stand, reaching down and lifting Remington with anger. She grips Remi around the waist with a bear hug and begins violently trying to choke the life out of her. Garisha wiggles back and forth, but Remi begins reigning elbows down atop her head. Garish breaks the hold and drops Remington Storm on her feet.
JC: Great fight by Remi, Garisha was looking to choke the life out of here!!
JR: Either that or snap her in half. The violence from the champion is unmatched. Luckily Remi avoided it.
Rem runs forward and jumps into the air, wrapping her arm around Garisha’s neck looking for a jumping DDT but Garish pushes her off. Remi lands on her feet and back peddles, and turns doing a handspring before hitting the ropes. On the rebound she back handsprings and launches into the air, grabbing Garisha and connecting a Satellite DDT. Both women lay on the mat exhausted.
4:19
4:18
4:17
Remi pulls herself up using the ropes and looks at Garisha who is pulling herself to a knee. Remi looks at Malachi who is yelling for Garisha to get to her feet. Remi darts forward and sends a boot into the side of Garisha’s face, knocking her back down to the mat. Remington Storm walks over and goes through the middle rope, now standing on the outside of the apron…
JR: Remi looking to get dangerous out here…
JC: SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR—- NOOO!!
Garisha moves at the last second causing Remi’s Shooting Star Press to meet nothing but canvas. Both woman now lay on the mat once again, motionless… At almost the same time, they both roll onto their stomach and make a slow stand to their feet. Both women turn at the same time and Garisha charges forward looking for a spear. Remi sidesteps it and drops to the mat, reaching behind her and rolling Garisha up for a sneaky pinfall attempt via roll up…
1..
2..
KICKOUT!!
Garisha kicks out at the last possible second and screams violently— upset that Remi Storm almost stole a victory and walked away with the title. Both women stand, swaying with exhaustion. Remi runs forward and looks for a clothesline, Garisha ducks and rebounds off the ropes behind her. Garisha springs back and this attempt on the spear connects violently, almost cutting Remington in half.
[wite]JC: Oh my… Garisha just broke Remi Storm in half!!
JR: This has been a constant back and forth all match… What in the hell is going to take??[/white]
2:54
2:53
2:52
Garisha shows signs of life. She digs her nails into the canvas and starts pulling herself to standing position. Remi lays on the mat in pain. After Garisha stands, she looks toward the corner. Malachi’s eyes widen with fright. He begs for her not to do it, but Garisha goes to the corner and begins to climb the turnbuckles…
Garisha spins around but Remi is already to her feet charging toward the corner. She hops into the top turnbuckle and wraps her legs around Garisha’s neck, spinning her in the air and sending her flying down onto the mat with a top rope hurricanrana…
JR: HURRICANRANA FROM THE TOP ROPE!
JC: After the last title match, Remi Storm is not going to let this moment slip from her fingertips!!
JR: Garisha tried to go high risk and it didn't pay off.
Remington stands back up. Now she makes her way over to the corner. She begins the climb and makes it to the top rope as Garisha rolls onto her back. Remi looks down and signals for the end, but before she can launch Malachi Graves climbs the apron and grips her foot…
Remi looks down and kicks Malachi’s hand away causing him to stumble off of the apron. This makes Remi Storm angry so she jumps out onto Malachi at the ringside floor with a barrel roll, landing on him and knocking him to the ringside floor.
JC: Remi Storm making Malachi Graves pay for getting involved!
JR: Maybe now Remi can focus on the bigger picture and that’s Garisha and the XWF Television Championship?
1:26
1:25
1:24
Remi stands and rolls into the ring. Garisha is starting to pull herself to her feet. As Garisha stands, she has her back turned away from Remi Storm. Remi pushes forward and grips the shoulders of Garisha, pulling her backward and driving both knees into her back connecting a backstabber. Remi rolls Garisha onto her back and hooks the leg.
1..
2..
KICKOUT!!
0:57
0:56
0:55
Remi glances at the X-Tron checking the time…
JC: Remi’s only got a minute left! But this is the closest we’ve seen Garisha take a loss thus far in her XWF career!
JR: Remi’s making Garisha look mortal! But can she make her look beatable in 15 minutes?!?
Remi wastes no time, peeling Garisha up off her feet… In a sudden flash, she pulls Garisha off the mat, off her feet!
JC: She’s going for it! The Stormchaster!
Remi hoists Garisha off her hip!
STORMCHASER!
…
NO! Garisha twists her body at the last minute, arm dragging Remi across the ring!
0:28
0:27
0:26
Remi skids across the mat, but rolls to keep her footing! She charges Garisha!
…
But Garisha’s ready! She turns in midair!
SLINGBLADE!
…
NO! Remi catches her arms behind her back!
JC: Holy cow! These women are pulling out every counter in the book!
JR: They both want this… but time is running out!
0:13
0:12
0:11
Remi grits her teeth, trying with all her might to pull Garisha into a backslide!
Garisha’s growling and barking like a feral animal fighting Remi’s strength!
0:05
0:04
0:03
Remi gets her knees on the mat…
AND GETS GARISHA ONTO HER BACK! BACKSLIDE PIN!
JC: SHE DID IT!
ONE!
TWO!
THRE
BZZZZZZZT
TIME LIMIT DRAW
JC: NO! NOOOOOO! C’MON! She had it! Remi had Garisha!
JR: Maybe Garisha could have kicked out, maybe she would have stayed pinned! But what we know for sure is the fifteen minutes are up!
TC: This match is a TIME LIMIT DRAW! Thus, still you XWF Television Champion… GARISHA!
The crowd boos ferociously, furious to be robbed of a conclusion to this match!
Remi looks at the official from the mat, holding up three fingers… the ref only shows her two.
ELON: WAIT WAIT WAIT!
Elon Musk bursts through the curtain!
JC: Oh God, this idiot makes everything worse!
Elon points to the ring!
ELON: This match needs an ending!
The crowd is screaming!
Five more minutes! Five more minutes!
ELON: Just five? Why not more!?!
The crowd buzzes with excitement!
JC: Wow! Elon is actually going to give the people what they want!
ELON: Why not even more!?! Why not thirty whole minutes of action between Remi Storm and Garisha!
JC: Thirty more minutes?!? These women took each other to the limit in just 15!
The crowd is absolutely screaming for this match to resume!
ELON: Well, YOU’LL GET IT!
THIRTY MINUTES!
REMI STORM!
GARISHA!
…
ELON: AT RELENTLESS!
JC: What?!? I thought he was going to restart the match!
ELON: Gotta think about those PPV buys!
Elon winks into the camera!
Despite the bait and switch, the crowd is still electric thinking about these two meeting at Relentless!
JC: Garisha versus Remi! A whole fifteen extra minutes! Relentless!
JR: It’s going to be INSANE, Jacuinde!
[/b]
JR: "This is the kind of match that changes a man's career. Winner walks into Relentless with the biggest opportunity of his life."
JC: "Loser walks out on a stretcher. Maybe both of them do."
JR: "And for Micheal Graves, this is personal. He has held that Universal Championship before. Everybody remembers how short that reign was."
JC: "Short and bitter. He knows exactly what it feels like to lose it, and he wants it back badly."
JR: "Meanwhile Judd Hollow hasn’t been in the XWF all that long and he is already a nightmare. This guy has made more noise in a few weeks than some guys make in a few years."
JC: "A newcomer with something to prove against a former champion with something to reclaim. That is as good a main event as this company has had all year."
The X-Tron flickers first.
Suddenly, the arena goes black.
Then some haunting music creeps in over the PA system as static flickers across the X-Tron and a thick fog rolls onto the stage.
Micheal Graves steps through the curtain, stopping at the top of the ramp as strobe lights flicker across his face like a horror villain.
Quick cuts of in-ring violence flash across the X-Tron as Graves starts down the ramp, ignoring the few fans who are reaching out for him.
Once he's at ringside, he stops and sniffs the air with a crooked grin.
After a brief moment, he slides under the bottom rope and crawls across the canvas, stopping in the center of the ring where he slowly rises and tosses his cape aside.
The arena surrenders to darkness…
A suffocating hush rolls over the crowd as the lights drain away one section at a time, until what remains is a low glow bathing the entrance stage in tones of ash-gray as that of ash itself falls upon the arena. The titantron flickers once… twice… then stabilizes into a grainy, distorted image of static and slow-moving shadows.
The opening strings of [b]The Brothers Bright – “Blood On My Name” creep through the PA system…[/b]
A rhythm begins to form. The rhythm ismethodical, deliberate, like footsteps approaching…
The fog begins to raise from the floor, swallowing the ramp in seconds until nothing below the knees is visible. The stage becomes an altar of mist. It sets the tone as Father Malachi Graves steps out from behind the curtain in his typical reverend attire.
Rosary beads dangle from his fingers, swinging with each slow, deliberate step. He doesn’t look around. He doesn’t acknowledge the crowd. His gaze is fixed forward focused on the mission at hand.
He pauses at the top of the ramp, before giving a whisper upon the beads…
A dragging sound cuts through the music…
[b]“There’s a reckonin’ a comin’.[/b]
[b]And it burns beneath the grave…[/b]
[b]With lead inside my belly,[/b]
[b]Cause my soul has lost its way…”[/b]
[b] [/b]
Chains scraping metal…
Something heavy being pulled aggressively through the fog...
Judd Hollow steps into view, bare chest carved in inked sleeves that wrap his arms like scriptures of violence. Slightly torn camo pants hang loose, worn like they’ve survived too many nights that should’ve ended him. Heavy chains are draped across his shoulders, trailing down his back and dragging behind him as he walks.A bandana rests upon his head. From beneath it, bleached, uneven dreadlocks spill out—matted, worn, and almost lifeless in color…
[b]”Oh, Lazarus, how did your debts get paid?[/b]
[b]Oh, Lazarus, were you so afraid?”[/b]
[b] [/b]
Across his forehead he bares an inverted cross painted in thick black strokes. Smudged at the edges. His eyes are framed in dark paint, stretching beneath them like hollow sockets—giving him the look of something that hasn’t blinked in a long time.
He doesn’t look at the crowd. He looks through them…
Malachi steps slightly ahead, still clutching the rosary. He begins walking again, and Judd follows… two figures moving in sync without needing to acknowledge each other.
The chains drag louder now…
[b]CLINK… scrape… CLINK… scrape…[/b]
[b] [/b]
The music swells, but neither of them reacts…
[b]“When the fires, when the fires have surrounded you[/b]
[b]With the hounds of hell comin' after you…[/b]
[b]I've got blood…[/b]
[b]And I've got blood on my name!”[/b]
[b] [/b]
Halfway down the ramp, Judd stops. The fog curls around his legs almost attempting to swallow him. Malachi continues forward a few more steps, then slowly turns his head back just enough to acknowledge him without breaking his composure.
A quiet exchange happens without words.Judd tilts his head slightly. A slow roll and crack of the neck with a look of hatred etched upon his face. After a quick breath, Judd begins to walk again…
But slower…
It’s almost as if every step is being measured and calculated to precision.
At ringside, Malachi circles once, rosary beads sliding through his fingers like he’s counting sins. He reaches the ring steps first and ascends without urgency, never breaking rhythm. It’s at this moment Judd steps to the ringside area before following Malachi up the steps.
Each step onto the steel stairs produces a heavy clang that echoes longer than it should. Once he reaches the top step Judd pauses again before leaning slightly forward, chains sliding off his shoulders as he drops the iron vines behind him.
Then he steps through the ropes, stomping his foot upon the ring canvas as the fog begins to settle.Malachi watches with a sinister look upon his face, lifting the rosary briefly as if blessing something that should not be blessed.
Inside the ring, Judd walks to the center.The lights begin to flicker frantically before slowing down. Meanwhile through the speakers, the music distorts for half a second, like it’s being choked or even worse-
possessed…
And then silence returns in pieces…
Judd lowers his head slightly. Malachi stands just behind him now, like a shadow. A cold look growing upon his face. The message becomes loud and clear without a single word being spoken…
This is more than an entrance, it’s an arrival...
Finally, he backs into his corner and waits for the violence to begin.
Malachi peels off toward the timekeeper's area as Judd climbs the steel steps, drops his chains at ringside, and slides through the ropes. He walks to the center of the ring, lowers his head, and for a moment the two men simply stare at each other across eight feet of canvas. Neither blinks.
Judd Hollow
- vs -
Michael Graves Winner will face the Universal Champion at Relentless
DING! DING! DING!
There is no feeling out process. Graves charges first, throwing a forearm that catches Hollow flush across the jaw, and Hollow answers with a headbutt that snaps Graves backward into the ropes.
From there it turns into a brawl, fists and elbows and knees thrown with no regard for definition or technique, both men trying to simply hurt the other one first. Graves gets the better of an exchange near the corner, driving his shoulder into Hollow's ribs three times before Hollow shoves him off and levels him with a running elbow that puts Graves flat on his back.
JC: "That's not wrestling. That's two men trying to end each other's night early."
JR: "Neither one of these guys knows how to take a step back."
Hollow does not go for a cover. He rolls to the outside instead and grabs a steel chair from beneath the ring, along with a length of barbed wire wrapped tight around a two by four. Graves sees it coming and rolls out the opposite side, snatching the ring bell hammer off the timekeeper's table and swinging it into Hollow's ribs before Hollow can fully turn around. Hollow drops the two by four, doubles over, and Graves follows with a series of hammering forearms across his back that echo through the arena.
Graves rolls him back into the ring and goes for an early cover.
1!
Kickout.
Graves does not wait for the referee to finish the count. He drives a forearm into Hollow's face while the referee is still pulling him off, a habit that has cost him disqualifications before but never seems to change. The referee warns him. Graves ignores it completely and drags Hollow up by the dreadlocks.
JC: "He does this every single match. Keeps striking after the count starts. One of these days it costs him the title shot."
JR: "Tonight might be that day."
Hollow answers with a low blow that the referee somehow misses, buying himself just enough room to reach through the ropes and pull the barbed wire two by four back into the ring. Graves staggers up into it, catching the board across the chest, and the wire tears a thin red line just above his collarbone. It is not a lot of blood yet, but it is enough, and Hollow smears two fingers through it and wipes it across his own tongue without breaking eye contact with his opponent.
JR: "There it is. There's the side of Judd Hollow they warned us about."
JC: "He's not even bothered by his own blood, let alone somebody else's."
Graves shakes it off and answers with a heart punch that drops Hollow to one knee, followed by a running bulldog that plants his face into the mat. Graves goes for the cover again.
1!
2!
Kickout.
Frustration flashes across Graves' face for the first time all night. He pulls Hollow up and whips him hard into the corner, following in with a running back elbow, but Hollow gets a boot up at the last second and catches Graves square in the mouth. Both men stagger away from each other, breathing heavy, blood now visible on both faces.
The match spills to the outside again. Hollow reaches beneath the ring apron and pulls out a thumbtack board, sliding it into the ring while Malachi Graves watches from ringside with his rosary still swinging in slow, deliberate loops. Graves spots the board and grabs Hollow by the throat before he can set it fully in place, driving him back first into the steel ring post. The impact rattles the entire structure.
JC: "That post did not move. Judd Hollow's spine might have."
JR: "This is exactly the kind of match Relentless deserves a story out of."
Graves rolls Hollow back inside and climbs to the top rope, an unusual sight for a man his size, and connects with a crossbody that gets a two count. He follows with a double ax handle off the second rope moments later, but Hollow rolls through it and catches Graves in a sudden Boston crab in the center of the ring. Graves screams and claws for the ropes, dragging himself inch by inch until his fingers finally wrap around the bottom rope. Hollow holds it two full seconds past the break out of pure spite before releasing.
Graves tries to recover on the outside, using the ring apron to pull himself up, but Hollow is already through the ropes after him. Hollow grabs a steel chair and sets it flat against the barricade before whipping Graves toward it, only for Graves to reverse the whip at the last second and send Hollow crashing into the chair instead. The barricade buckles under the impact and a section of the front row scatters back out of the way.
JR: "These men do not care where this match takes place. Ring, floor, front row, it does not matter to either one of them."
JC: "Somebody is going to need a doctor before this is over, and I am not confident it is only going to be one of them."
Graves grabs a fistful of Hollow's dreadlocks and drags him back toward the ring apron, driving three consecutive knee lifts into his midsection before rolling him back under the bottom rope. Hollow answers the moment his feet hit the mat, catching Graves across the throat with a running clothesline that flips him inside out. Both men take a moment to breathe, chests heaving, blood now streaked across the canvas in more than one place.
The action moves toward the corner where earlier in the night a table had been set up and doused in accelerant, a callback to the exact kind of spot Hollow is known for. Graves fights off a suplex attempt that would have sent him through it, reversing into one of his own, but Hollow blocks it and instead drives Graves face first through the table with a spinebuster that ignites the moment he lands. Fire and smoke roll off the wreckage as the crowd erupts.
JR: "He just set a man on fire in the middle of a title eliminator!"
JC: "Somebody get the extinguisher near ringside! Micheal Graves is not moving!"
Officials rush the smoking debris to smother the flames while the referee checks on Graves, who is barely stirring. Hollow stands over him, chest heaving, and drags him by the leg back toward the center of the ring for a cover.
1!
2!
Graves gets a shoulder up and the crowd loses its mind.
Hollow cannot believe it. He pulls Graves up and sets him up for what looks like a chokeslam, but Graves fires back with a desperate green mist directly into Hollow's eyes, blinding him instantly. Hollow stumbles backward clawing at his own face while Graves, still smoking and burned along one arm, drags himself up using the ropes.
JC: "The mist! He caught him with the mist!"
JR: "Judd Hollow cannot see a thing right now."
Graves capitalizes with a pulling piledriver that drops Hollow directly onto the exposed edge of the thumbtack board that never got fully cleared from the ring. Tacks embed across Hollow's shoulder and upper back. Graves rolls him over for the cover, driving a forearm into his face as he does, and the referee counts.
1!
2!
Kickout, and the arena explodes again.
Both men are running on fumes now. Graves signals for Graves Consequences, hoisting Hollow up for the Razor's Edge, but Hollow slides down the back and shoves Graves into the referee, who crumples in the corner. With the official down, Malachi Graves finally slides a set of brass knuckles into the ring for Hollow, but before Hollow can use them Graves catches him with a low blow that drops him instantly. Graves grabs the knuckles himself, but hesitates for just a moment too long, staring at them like even he is not sure he wants to cross that line in a match this important.
That hesitation costs him. Hollow surges up and drills Graves with a headbutt that busts him open fresh, following immediately with a Death Valley Driver of his own that mirrors Graves' Grave Digger almost move for move. Both men are down. The referee is still stirring in the corner, in no position to count anything.
JR: "Both men are down! The referee is down! Nobody is in a position to make a cover!"
JC: "This has gone completely off the rails and I don't think anyone in this building wants it to stop."
Hollow crawls toward Graves, blood dripping steadily from a gash above his eye. Graves stirs at the same moment, reaching blindly for anything to pull himself up with. Their hands meet near the center of the ring, each one grabbing a fistful of the other's throat, and both men rise together on unsteady legs, still choking each other, refusing to let go even as their knees buckle beneath them.
The referee is only now beginning to crawl toward the ropes.
Malachi Graves watches from ringside without a flicker of expression, rosary beads finally still in his hand for the first time all night.
JC: "I genuinely do not know who wins this."
JR: "Neither do I. And I don't think either one of them does either!”
Both men collapse to the canvas at the exact same instant, arms draped uselessly across one another, as the referee finally reaches his knees just outside the ropes. The lights flicker once, the broadcast cuts, and the arena is left in the dark with two motionless bodies and a title shot still hanging in the balance.
Both men are running on fumes now.
Graves is the first to move.
He crawls toward Hollow and grabs him by the wrist, dragging him up from the canvas. His own breathing is ragged, his face streaked with blood and soot, but there is something almost animal behind his eyes now.
He hooks Hollow between the legs.
He hoists.
GRAVES CONSEQUENCES!
Hollow starts to come up for the Razor's Edge—
—but somehow, impossibly, Hollow hooks one leg around Graves' and drops his weight.
Graves stumbles.
Hollow slips free.
He lands behind Graves and immediately wraps both arms around his waist.
GERMAN SUPLEX!
Graves goes over—
—but he lands on his feet!
The crowd erupts.
Graves spins around—
Hollow is already there.
HEADBUTT!
Graves staggers.
Hollow grabs him.
DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!
But Graves twists in mid-lift!
He slips over Hollow's shoulder and lands behind him!
Graves catches Hollow around the waist!
GERMAN SUPLEX!
Hollow flips through it!
He lands on his feet too!
Both men turn around at exactly the same time.
They stare at one another.
Neither man moves.
Then both charge.
DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!
Neither man goes down.
They bounce off one another.
Hollow throws a right hand.
Graves ducks.
Graves throws a right.
Hollow ducks.
Hollow swings again—
Graves catches the arm!
He spins Hollow around!
ARM TRAP!
Hollow immediately drives an elbow backward into Graves' jaw!
Graves releases!
Hollow turns—
ORCHARD SWING!
No!
Graves ducks underneath the discus lariat!
Hollow spins all the way around—
—and Graves catches him!
GRAVES CONSEQUENCES!
Hollow gets lifted!
But Hollow kicks his legs wildly!
One boot catches Graves directly in the face!
Graves loses his grip!
Hollow crashes down behind him!
Hollow hooks Graves' head!
REVERSE DDT!
Hollow doesn't even cover.
He rolls over, drags himself toward the corner, and uses the ropes to pull himself upright.
Graves is doing the same on the opposite side.
Both men are barely standing.
JR: "How are these two men still moving?!"
JC: "I don't know! I don't think they know!"
Hollow charges first.
Graves meets him halfway.
FOREARM!
Hollow answers!
FOREARM!
Graves!
Hollow!
Graves!
Hollow!
Neither man is blocking.
They're just taking turns trying to knock the other man's lights out.
Hollow finally gains the advantage!
He grabs Graves by the throat!
He tries to lift him!
Graves jams a knee into Hollow's stomach!
Hollow doubles over!
Graves hooks the head!
PULLING PILEDRIVER!
Hollow blocks!
He grabs Graves around the waist!
BACKDROP!
Graves lands on his feet!
Hollow turns—
Graves grabs him!
Hollow shoves him away!
Graves rebounds off the ropes!
EMPIRE—
No!
Hollow ducks!
Graves turns around!
Hollow grabs him!
DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!
Graves rolls through the impact!
He immediately grabs Hollow's legs!
SMALL PACKAGE!
The referee drops!
ONE!
TWO!
HOLLOW KICKS OUT!
Both men scramble upright!
Hollow swings!
Graves ducks!
Graves swings!
Hollow ducks!
Hollow goes for the Orchard Swing—
Graves ducks again!
Hollow spins through!
Graves catches him from behind!
REAR NAKED CHOKE!
Hollow's eyes widen!
He reaches for the ropes!
He's nowhere near them!
Hollow starts fading!
His knees buckle!
The referee checks his arm!
But Hollow refuses to go out.
His hand shoots backward!
He grabs Graves by the face!
He rakes!
Graves screams and releases!
Hollow spins around!
HEADBUTT!
Graves staggers!
Hollow grabs him!
ORCHARD SWING!
Graves ducks!
Hollow spins!
Graves tries to catch him!
Hollow catches Graves!
SMALL PACKAGE!
ONE!
TWO!
GRAVES KICKS OUT!
The crowd explodes!
Hollow slams his fists against the canvas!
He can't believe it!
He grabs Graves by the head!
"STAY DOWN!"
Hollow hauls him upright!
Graves' legs are barely underneath him!
Hollow backs away!
He measures him!
JR: "ORCHARD SWING!"
Hollow charges!
He spins!
The discus lariat is coming—
GREEN MIST!
It blasts directly into Hollow's face!
Hollow's entire body recoils!
He staggers blindly, hands flying to his eyes!
JC: "THE MIST! THE MIST! GRAVES GOT HIM!"
JR: "HOLLOW CAN'T SEE!"
Hollow blindly swings!
Graves ducks underneath it!
Hollow spins around!
Graves grabs him!
He gets Hollow up across his shoulders!
GRAVES CONSEQUENCES!
CRASH!
Hollow is driven violently into the canvas!
He bounces once!
Then goes completely limp!
Graves collapses beside him, but somehow rolls himself over!
He throws one arm across Hollow's chest!
The referee dives into position!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
[DING! DING! DING!]
Winner and Going on to Compete for the Universal Title at Relentless: MICHEAL GRAVES!
The arena erupts.
Graves rolls onto his back, staring blankly at the ceiling.
For several seconds, he doesn't move.
JC: "MICHEAL GRAVES HAS DONE IT!"
R: "AFTER EVERYTHING THESE TWO MEN JUST PUT EACH OTHER THROUGH—MICHEAL GRAVES IS GOING TO RELENTLESS!"
The referee raises Graves' arm.
Graves barely reacts.
He is still breathing heavily, still covered in blood and soot, one arm trembling from exhaustion.
JC: I can’t believe it! Relentless is just two weeks away and the Universal Title match… We’ve got Samael Dyson! We’ve got Sebastian Everett-Bryce! AND NOW WE HAVE MICHEAL GRAVES!
JR: This is going to be the most insane Relentless ever! DO NOT MISS IT!
SPECIAL THANKS TO
OUR MATCH WRITERS
Peter Principle
Atticus Gold
‘Big’ Dick Lichter
Judd Hollow
Edgecrusher
OUR SEGMENT WRITERS
Solomon Kline
Samael Dyson / Sebastian Everett-Bryce
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