Game Girl looks confused down the lens. A hand pulls away, adjusting the camera as Noah stands next to GG, his head cut off out the frame.

“What's that?” she asks with a point.

“Wha-” Noah stumbles, “What's that? Paige… it's a camera.”

GG tilts her head and looks to the side of this magical object. “Oooooooh” she sits back down normally with a smile. “Weird, I've never seen it from this angle.”

“You're joking, right?” Noah questions as he fiddles with something.

“No, looks weird… Why do I have to look at a camera again?”

Scoops’ voice bellows from somewhere, The TV muffled in the background, “Because they made you a ref, and you gotta talk about what the hell yer’ gonna do out there.”

“A referee!? That's a big job!” She seems genuinely nervous.

“It's just for the one match, Paige. Don't stress.” Noah reassures.

“Sooo…” she moves her hands around, with a raised eyebrow. “What do I have to do?”

“Just say how you're gonna play it,” Noah replies, “Will you be fair? Be a little biased? cheat someone out of a win?”

“That seems very mean.” Her lip upturns at the thought.

Scoops’ voice bellows out. “That jackass Jenny Myst is gonna be in the match, you know!”

“Mmmm.” GG grumbles with a squint. “Jenny…” >:(

“So, yeah.” Noah kneels down next to her and nudges the camera slightly, centering the frame. “Just say what you want real quick, I can send this over and we're done.”

“Question.” GG raises a finger. “What does a referee do?”

“Are you fuckin’ serious?” Scoops yells, “Why are you actin’ like you never been in a goddamn match before!?”

“I know some things!” She turns her back to the camera, swivelling on her chair to argue with Scoops. “I know they count pins! And when they get to three they stop and everyone cheers!”

Noah stands back up.

There’s a beat.

“She's… technically correct…” Noah mumbles.

“And!” GG points a finger excitedly. “And they, er, they count when you go out the ring and they make it super dramatic!”

“They don't in a falls count anywhere.” Noah murmurs.

“What the heck is that?” Game Girl throws her hands up before they slap back down on the table.

“It don't matter, it ain't important.” Scoops interrupts, clearing his throat as he turns on his chair from the sitting room. “Noah, quit actin’ like a slack-jawed idiot and feedin’ into this.”

Noah’s face flushed as Scoops continued. “Girlie, you're reffing a tag match. You just gotta keep an eye on them and count a pin.”

“Or if they tap out.”

GG’s head turns to each of them as they speak.

“Or if they tap out, yeah. And make sure they tag in and don't try and sneak around you. If you don’t see the tag happen, that shit don’t count.”

“Yeah, and some referees enforce this rule where each partner gets to save their own partner from a pin or submission but just the once.”

“Lost art form, that. And make sure they don't use no weapons on each other. That's cheating.”

“And make sure there's no interference from outside parties.”

“Oh, and-”

“Okay! Stop!” GG puts her hand up to both men. “Is there like a book or something that just tells me stuff?”

“Erm, I would assume so.” Noah scratches the back of his neck.

“Hold on.” Scoops grunts as he gets up, his knee letting out a crack as he stands with a groan. “I got a book next to the toilet that may help.”

The camera shakes as Scoops walks behind the two and disappears out of frame, not because Scoops is overweight, but because the house is old and maybe haunted!?!?!?! Game Girl snorts a laugh turning to Noah.

“Do you find it funny how Scoops says toilet?”

“Yeah.” He laughs before doing a Scoops impression. “Terlet.”

GG joins in on the impression “Terlet!” she giggles “lol.”

The two grown adults snicker before Scoops returns with a huff and drops a book on the table. A thick layer of dust sits on the cover, which he blows off to create a cloud hanging in the air.

“Earl Hebner: The Official Story?” Noah questions as Game Girl opens it up and thumbs through the pages. He turns to Scoops. “Why do you have this?”

“Why?” Scoops replies, a look of shock on him as he turns his knee. “He’s an interesting man!”

Noah opens his mouth slightly before closing it, Scoops immediately jumps on the defence.

“Listen, he officiated a lot of important matches, the man’s got some good stories.”

“Oh!” GG smiles looking between the two. “The OFFICIAL story, I get it!” :)

“I don’t think she’s going to learn how to be a ref from this, Scoops.”

Scoops points a crooked finger down to the book, “There’s a lot she can learn from a man like Earl, that’s for damn sure.”

Scoops leaves and goes back to his seat.

GG double takes, spinning around on the chair. “The heck is that supposed to mean!?”

“Paige,” Noah defuses the situation, “Can’t you like… Connect to the internet or something?”

Paige gasps :O

Scoops’ head turns to Noah with a raised eyebrow as he stands there awkwardly for a moment. “Was… Was that insensitive?”

“Yes!” Paige scoffs. “But I kinda can? But it was rude to assume I could!”

“Okay, first I’m sorry.” Noah puts up a hand. “So could you just learn it from the internet?”

“Or you could just use your phone!” Scoops yells back, turning around to the TV and mumbling under his breath, “Buncha jackasses.”

“Hm.” Noah nods his head to the side as he pulls out his phone, “Good idea.”

Paige squints slightly looking up to the ceiling, “The only things I’m getting are like pop culture references for some reason.”

“Anything actually useful?” Noah asks.

“...And how to make the perfect grilled cheese…”

Scoops, barely in the frame, slowly turns his head with a scoff. “Very useful.”

---

OOC: I’ve hit 1k but I’m having fun so I’m gonna keep going, hopefully no Game Girl lore and story show up! If it isn’t clear, Game Girl will be as fair as possible in the match but will likely have no idea what she’s doing.

---

GG turns to Scoops, “Bet Earl Hebner can’t make a perfect grilled cheese!”

“Hey!” Scoops points a finger, “You don’t know that!”

She turns with a huff, looking up at Noah. “I’m sure I used to be able to pull more from the internet.” Paige sighs, “Maybe it’s because I haven’t been home in a while?”

Scoops raises an eyebrow at that remark, turning towards Paige for a brief moment. “You are home.” He mutters.

Paige smiles sweetly, shuffling in her chair. Scoops rolls his eyes going back to the TV.

Noah scratches his eyebrow looking at his phone, “Or you’re connected to the WiFi of a middle-aged nerd, Paige.”

“I didn’t know you were middle-aged, Noah?” :P

Noah eyeballs Paige as she giggles. “I’m younger than you!”

“What!? No way! I’m nineteen, dude!” GG gives a shake of her head, stating that it’s clearly obvious.

“You look nineteen-”

“She don’t look nineteen at all!” Scoops bellows, “She looks like one of them damn Pocket Men!”

“Pokemon.” “Pokemon.” Both GG and Noah reply in unison.

“Like I give shit.” Scoops replies, reaching for the remote.

Noah sighs looking back to her, “You look nineteen, maybe, but your game is like thirty years old, which means YOU’RE thirty years old!”

“WHAT!?” She slams her palms on the table, “Shut up! I’m not ancient!”

“Ancient!?” Scoops interrupts, “If thirty is ancient then what am I?”

GG goes to reply as Scoops looks at her, she goes to open her mouth but Scoops points a finger.

“And choose your words wisely, girlie!”

She stops and thinks for a moment. “You’re… Weathered.”

“Eh, I’ll take it.” He takes another sip, flicking through channels.

“See.” Noah shows GG his phone, “Tale of Narfinex, created by Gabe Bachgan and Funsoft, originally meant to release in 1993.” He looks at her, smugly, “You’re like thirty-two, dude.”

Paige turns pale, she looks at the table with those big, round eyes.

“This is single-handedly the worst thing that has ever happened to me.”

She sinks in her chair as the moment lingers.

“Didn’t you get stabbed?” Scoops lets out.

“Gee.” She responds, unimpressed. “Thanks for reminding me of my trauma, Scoops!”

“Tsk.” He scoffs. “Typical millennial.”

Paige squints at him, Scoops hides a slight smile as she turns back with a quiet snort of laughter.

“Did you know your game got released?” Noah asks.

“What?”

“Yeah,” he places his elbows on the table and shares his screen beginning to read, “After over thirty years in development hell and a long stream of issues, Gabe Bachgan, placed the game on Kickstarter in mid 2024. Meeting its goal, it was released November 6th 2025 to subpar reviews reaching a 52% on metacritic and scoring an 8 on IGN. Oof, that’s low for them.”

Paige is silent, her eyes glancing over the screen.

Noah thumbs down the page. “Looks like it was buggy as hell and people are complaining about there being no real narrative choices like advertised, super linear and there's a character that just does lore drops.”

“Am I in the game?” She asks quietly.

“Ermmm…” Noah peers at his phone, chewing his lip. “You’re not mentioned, sorry.”

“Hm.” Paige drums her fingers along the table. “Oh well! Sounds like it sucked anyway.” She forces a smile.

Noah stands up and looks back at Scoops who looks at him with a shrug. He clears his throat, “Anyway! We’re getting off track” He grabs Paige’s focus. “Don’t worry too much about being a referee, I can help you learn, I’m sure there’s some tutorials or something on YouTube. All you need to do is state your intentions.”

“Okay!” She smiles, “I can do that fine and dandy, I’ll try my best and be as fair as possible.”

“Even with that sack of dog shit in the match?” Scoops questions.

“Yes.” GG says with a deep breath, stretching her arms out. “Even with her.”

“It is a tag match, so you could be a little sterner with her and more lenient on her partner, Thirty-Six, if you wanted.”

“You mean ex-ex-ex-vee-ai?” Paige questions with a furrowed brow.

“Thirty-Six.”

“Huh?”

“His name is thirty six.”

Paige narrows her eyes. “How?”

“It’s in Roman numerals.” Noah states, very plainly.

“Did Myst drop you on your head in that match or something?” Scoops yells.

“Yeah!” Paige turns her palms up, “She did!”

“Explains a lot then.” He scoffs, taking another sip. "And it's The Director anyway, not Thirty-Six, ya morons!"

Paige sticks her tongue out at Scoops before looking at Noah. “And no, no bias.  Just as fair to everyone as I possibly can be. Just like Mister Earl Hebner.”

She taps the cover of the book as Noah and Scoops share a look.

“Ermmm…” Noah hesitates, Scoops slowly shakes his head to him. “Yeah! He was… Very fair.”

GG smirks with a wobble of her head and begins patting the table as Noah leans in to the lens and looks at it confused.

“Is this recording?” He murmurs. “No? … Yes?”

“Aren’t you a cameraman?” GG asks.

“I’m a bit more than that, Paige.”

“Is the light red?” Scoops calls from the background.

“Yeah!” Noah replies.

“That means it's off, green is recording!”

“Are you sure? I thought green was charging?”

“I just want to put this out there, you guys laughed at me for not knowing what a camera was and it seems both of you are stumped by it too.”

Noah sighs looking back at Paige who seems quite proud of herself.

“No, Noah, it’s amber when it’s charging!” Scoops begins to stumble over his words, the anger building, “Godammit, boy! You’ve shoved enough of those things in my damn face I know which fuckin’ light is which!”

“Fine!” Noah tenses before sighing. “I’ll hit this and we can record your thing and get it-”

The screen turns black.