We see the X-Tron come to life, and we see "John Black" name shot up with the .38 special, then we see on the walkway we see JB standing by the entrance with a towel on his neck. He does some shadowboxing to the camera, then he walks down giving some fans some daps in the process. He then stops by apron, and he throws his towel to the hard cam side. Then he rolls into the ring, and raises his fist in the air and saying "im the man!" as his theme slowly cuts, then he stands in the ring waiting for his opps.
The lights go out. Fire surrounds the stage. The X-Tron flickers to life. A heartbeat monitor flatlines. Beep.
“Antivist” by Bring Me The Horizon blasts throughout the arena. The X-Tron features key moments from his career, namely making people eat finishers and kendo sticks.
MIDDLE FINGERS UP, IF YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK!
Solomon Kline appears on stage on his blue Harley Davidson motorcycle! Flames rise up all around him. He rides his bike down the ramp and the flames subside, replaced by snow-like pyro raining down from the ceiling. He rides his bike to the ring and goes around to each side, raising his middle fingers as the song lyrics denote and encouraging the crowd to join in and sing along with his gesture.
As he makes his way to the last side of the ring, he parks his bike with a kickstand and slides under the bottom rope.
IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN THE WORDS THAT YOU PREACH
GET OFF YOUR SCREENS AND ONTO THE STREETS! THERE WILL BE NO PEACEFUL REVOLUTION!
NO WAR WITHOUT BLOOD!
Solomon ascends the turnbuckle and looks around the room, taking in the cheers of the crowd before dropping down awaiting the start of the match.
DING! DING! DING!
The bell rings.
Solomon Kline just stands there, towering over John Black.
JB looks up, cracks his neck and steps forward, sizing up the taller opponent.
JC: Oh man, we got ourselves a real showdown tonight! One man's trying to carve out his own legacy, and the other's fighting to prove he's still got some gas left in that tank!
JR: Yeah, JB's been in this game forever. He might not be as quick as Kline, but I promise you that he knows every single trick in the book and is willing to utilize them!
They lock up! JB tries to dig in and push forward, but Kline height allows him to easily power him back.
JB slides across the mat as Solomon leans him into the ropes.
The referee calls for the break and Kline backs off with his hands up.
JB immediately fires off the ropes and shoves Kline's chest.
The crowd pops, but Kline barely moves.
He glares down at JB, but JB just shrugs and throws a right hand!
CRACK!
Kline’s head snaps to the side!
JB follows with another punch!
Then another!
Then a hard hook to the body that winces Kline!
JC: And John Black wasting no time getting physical!
JR: JB's bringing street business to the ring!
JB fires off another right hand, but Kline blocks it! He returns fire with a right of his own that connects and staggers JB. He then grabs JB by the wrist and yanks him into a THUNDEROUS clothesline!
JB flips turned inside-out and lands in a heap!
The crowd roars as Kline grabs JB by the collar and hauls him back up, lifting him straight into the air and—
SUPLEX!
JB rolls onto his side, groaning.
Kline gets impatient and guides him to his feet again, but JB suddenly fires off a few right hands, hits the ropes, and rebounds into the Dead’z Prez, taking Kline to the mat, where he starts raining down punches!
Left!
Right!
Left!
Right!
Kline covers up but JB’s fists keep raining down hard!
JC: John Black bringing the fight right back to him!
JR: That old dog is proving he still bites!
JB rises and immediately stomps Kline in the ribs.
JB drags him up into a Front facelock.
Kline struggles weakly.
SNAP DDT!
JB rolls him over.
ONE!
KICKOUT!
Kline powers out before two.
JB grabs him again, but Kline launches a brutal forearm into JB’s jaw!
CRACK!
JB stumbles!
Kline pushes forward, firing off another!
Then a step back, and—
SUPERKICK!
JB’s head snaps backward! He's out on his feet!
Kline hooks him and the crowd pops early!
GERMAN SUPLEX!
JB crashes into the mat on his neck!
But Kline doesn’t release his grip.
He positions over JB and climbs to his feet.
DEADLIFT GERMAN SUPLEX!
The crowd roars in approval!
JC: Deadlift German Suplex! That's typically a weapon from Black's arsenal!
JR: Well, tonight he's getting a taste of his own medicine!
Kline pops to his feet and lets out a roar while JB lays on the mat nursing his neck.
JB slowly rises to his feet, but Kline charges in with a SPEAR!!!
But JB sidesteps and Kline crashes shoulder first into the ring post!
JB capitalizes instantly with a Cradle piledriver!
Kline’s head spikes off the mat!
JB rolls him over and covers.
ONE!
TWO!!
KICKOUT!!!
JB slaps the mat in frustration.
JR: That was close! Real close!
JB drags Kline up.
BRAINBUSTA!
But, no! Kline blocks the attempt and lifts JB instead!
BLUE THUNDER BOMB!
JB is driven into the mat hard!
Kline hooks the leg!
ONE!
TWO!!
JB kicks out!
Both men lie on the mat now, gasping for air.
The crowd begins to clap in an effort to coax them back to life.
Kline sits up as JB crawls toward the ropes.
Kline's up first. He grabs JB and whips him into the ropes.
On rebound, JB gets popped into the air and catches a Forearm to the face!
JC: ASHES TO ASHES!
JB crashes to the mat and the crowd explodes!
JC: SOLOMON KLINE GOT ALL OF THAT!
JR: THIS COULD BE IT!
Kline slowly pulls JB up again and hooks the arms, setting up for...
JC: WAIT A SECOND—
JR: HE'S GOING FOR DUST TO DUST!!!
The crowd jumps to their feet.
Kline lifts him, but JB’s legs start kicking.
Kline staggers slightly and JB drops behind him!
The crowd pops!
Kline turns as JB fires off a desperate kick to the gut and hits the ropes!
JB rushes in with a—
FLYING LARIAT!
But Kline scoops him right out of the air as the realization instantly hits JB in the face like a brick.
JR: Uh oh…
Kline drops JB across his knee!
BACKBREAKER!
JB’s rolls to the canvas clutching his lower back.
JC: BACKBREAKER! KLINE JUST BROKE JOHN BLACK IN HALF!
JR: That may have snapped whatever comeback JB had left along with his spine!
Kline stands over the veteran and grabs him by the legs.
JB doesn't have much fight in him at the moment.
Kline steps through the legs and start to turn him over into the—
JC: WAIT A SECOND! HE'S GOING FOR THE SCORPION DEATHLOCK!
JR: IF HE SITS DOWN THIS COULD BE ALL SHE WROTE!
Kline turns him and starts to sit down, but JB suddenly reaches back and grabs Kline’s ankles with both hands and yanks hard!
FACEPLANT!
The crowd erupts!
JC: OH! KLINE WASN'T EXPECTING THAT!
JR: EVERY SINGLE TRICK!
JB scrambles and beats Kline to his feet.
JB fires a right hand and a kneeling Kline!
CRACK!
Another!
CRACK!
Another!
CRACK!
The punches are sloppy, but every one of them lands.
Kline wobbles on his knees as JB closes in!
DROPKICK!
The crowd explodes as Kline falls to this back!
JC: WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!
JR: JB FOUND A LITTLE SPRING IN THOSE LEGS!
Kline tries to get up, but JB's already on him.
He hooks the arm, grabs his head, and wrenches back violently with everything he has!
CRIPPLER CROSSFACE!!!
JC: CROSSFACE! CROSSFACE! THE CROSSFACE IS LOCKED IN!
JR: JOHN BLACK JUST TURNED THIS MATCH ON ITS HEAD! CAN SOLOMON FIND A WAY OUT!?
JB pulls back with everything he has left as Kline fights the urge to tap.
…
Kline reaches for the ropes…
Clawing with everything he’s got…
…
BUT HE CAN’T MAKE IT! HE TAPS!
Winner: John Black
JC: WOW! What a way to open Warfare! John Black pulls off a surprising upset victory over Solomon Kline!
JR: Kline might be the future, but Black pulled out some veteran tricks and simply overwhelmed the young buck! He’ll recover, but tonight, John Black takes a win home for the THUGS!
Let's light it up hits, and Deena Hixx comes out from behind the curtains and walks out on stage and skips on down the aisle and skips around the ring.
JR: She’s a complete lunatic, Jacuinde! She claims to have Jenny Myst’s voice in her head… She declared herself a truer artist than her opponent… And she seems to think she and her sister Latoya are twins… Even though they look nothing alike!
JC: Deena’s an unorthodox competitor, for sure! But she does have a recent PPV win under her belt at War Games! She’s made it clear she has aims of competing for the X-Treme title at March Madness! A win tonight would certainly help her case… but that’s a tall order against the woman she’s facing tonight…
Deena slides into the ring and leans on the ropes with her legs crossed and waits for her Opponent to arrive.
…
Korvayne’s ring music plays and she is appalled by the reaction the fans give her as she heads to the ring! She spends a lot of needless time arguing with the fans!
JC: Korvayne… there was a brief window of time where it seemed like she might not make her debut!
JR: I don’t know how the Trillionaires managed it, but somehow Korvayne got bailed out of that Dubai jail, despite her profane display of her body… and her intentionally trying to break every rule of conduct in Dubai all in one day!
JC: Korvayne is an artist and audacity is her medium, Joe! We’ve seen her make that clear outside the ring! What we haven’t seen is how that unique flair shapes her style inside the ring!
Eventually Korvayne gets in the ring, does her artsy pose, and bows though the fans don't deserve it.
…
Both women stand across the ring from each other…
Korvayne stands tall with theatrical arrogance, chin slightly tilted upward, lips curled into a smug half-smile as if the ring is a museum gallery and Deena Hixx is simply an exhibit waiting to be critiqued. She slowly rolls her shoulders and stretches her neck, dramatically examining Deena like a sculptor studying marble.
Across the ring, Deena Hixx’s eyes twitch with impatient energy. Her nostrils flare and her foot taps rapidly against the canvas like a racehorse pawing at the gate. Her lips curl into a cocky smirk, but there’s something erratic behind her eyes—like she’s listening to something no one else can hear.
JR: Korvayne’s got moxie for miles, Jacuinde! But how far can moxie get you against an unhinged lunatic like Deena Hixx?[/white]
The bell rings.
Korvayne
- vs -
Deena Hixx Singles
HIGHLIGHT REEL
Deena’s eyes suddenly widen with manic excitement as she hears the voices urging her to prove she’s faster than anyone alive. She leans forward like a sprinter ready to explode.
She bolts across the ring at blinding speed—
Korvayne rolls her eyes as if this burst of speed is blase and unoriginal…
JC: Deena’s looking to run Korvayne over! But Korvayne isn’t backing down!
Deena sprints for Korvayne, looking for a…
SHOULDER BLOCK!
…
But effortlessly, Korvayne catches Deena’s wrist and…
ARM DRAG! Hixx is flopped through the air and onto her back!
JC: …Wow! Impressive counter by Korvayne!
Deena goes to lift her guard from the mat… But Korvayne simply circles the ring, taking in the audience in Dubai with disapproval and disdain…
JC: No follow-up attack from Korvayne! That may prove to be a mistake!
JR: The real mistake might be pissing off the people of Dubai! It’s a long way from here to the airport back to the states!
Deena backward somersaults back onto her feet, as Korvayne lounges back against the corner turnbuckle disinterestedly…
JC: In the mist of Korvayne’s nonchalant posing, I think she’s put herself in no man’s land! Deena’s got her cornered!
Deena charges as Korvayne lounges back against the turnbuckle… Deena goes for a…
STINGER SPLASH!
…But Korvayne, with incredible dexterity, forward rolls under! Deena’s face eats the top turnbuckle!
JC: Korvayne, showing off some shocking dexterity her in her debut match! She’s both quick and playing her opponent’s overconfidence to her advantage!
Deena staggers back from the turnbuckle spinning around slowly…
As Korvayne’s expression shifts into a sly grin, her eyes narrowing like a painter anticipating the first brushstroke of a masterpiece… She leaps!
CRACK!
Korvayne leaps and plants a perfect standing dropkick directly into Deena’s chest.
Deena flies backward and crashes backwards into the turnbuckle!
The crowd reacts immediately.
JR: Whoa, dude! What timing! What impact!
Deena’s back KERACKS against the turnbuckle pad… and she stumbles forward, cradling her spine…
But Korvayne isn’t done! She breaks into a run herself!
JC: Korvayne looks like she isn’t done after just one dropkick!
JR: As if she’s just placed the first bold stroke on a canvas… And she’s eager to follow it up with more!
Korvayne sprints forward—
THUD!
A running dropkick smashes Deena square in the face.
Deena rolls violently across the mat.
JC: KORVAYNE WITH BACK-TO-BACK DROPKICKS!
Deena rolls to her knees, shaking her head violently as frustration overtakes her confusion. Her eyes dart around wildly, jaw clenching…
JR: Do you think the voices in her head tried to tell her to dodge that one?
Her face twists into rage.
Korvayne’s expression suddenly turns playful, eyebrows raised as if she’s amused by Deena’s temper tantrum.
Deena charges forward swinging wildly with a…
LARIAT!
But Korvayne ducks under the clothesline attempt! As Deena spins around, Korvayne springs onto the ropes—
BOOM!
Springboard dropkick!
The impact launches Deena sideways into the corner.
JC: Dropkick after Dropkick after DROPKICK from Korvayne!
JR: Deena is getting taken to Drop Kick City!
Korvayne stands up slowly and spreads her arms like a triumphant artist presenting a gallery piece.
Deena lies slumped in the corner, eyes unfocused, chest heaving as she tries to process the avalanche of impact she just took.
Korvayne’s grin grows wicked, as she moves to the apron…
She climbs the turnbuckle.
The crowd begins to buzz.
…Deena slowly peels herself up out of the corner…
Korvayne leaps.
WHAM!
MISSILE DROPKICK!
Deena explodes out of the corner and crashes onto her back.
JC: FOUR! FOUR DROPKICKS!
JR: An absolutely dominant showing thus far by Korvayne!
JC: It’s been all Korvayne thus far…
JR: Never count Deena Hixx out, though! She’s got a few screws loose and she can dig those screws into her opponent’s eyes when they least expect it!
Korvayne rises slowly again, theatrically wiping sweat from her brow like a painter stepping away from a finished mural.
She turns to the crowd and bows mockingly to the sold-out Dubai crowd…
JC: Korvayne clearly savoring every moment of dominating her debut in front of a crowd she feels nothing but contempt for…
JR: She better watch out, Jacuinde! The people of Dubai ain’t her opponent! Deena Hixx is!
Korvayne is finally satisfied and ready to put this one away, reaching for the scruff of Deena’s ne-
CLAMP! Deena wrenches herself out of Korvayne’s grip and bites down on Korvayne’s hand! Korvayne’s face contorts in horror and pain!
JC: Oh my GOD! Deena just bit Korvayne!
JR: That’s gonna be an issue with customs on her way back to the US! Korvayne better hope she brought documentation proving she’s gotten a rabies booster!
Korvayne reels her arm back, reacting with surprise to Deena’s sudden bite attack…
When suddenly!
GRAB!
Deena hooks Korvayne’s arm and flips her over with a monkey flip!
Korvayne crashes onto her back.
JR: OH! Deena just exploded!
JC: Deena’s chaining together moves! All of a sudden, the tide might be shifting!
Korvayne’s eyes widen in surprise as she shoves herself off the mat, eager to correct her mistake of not crushing Deena…
Deena’s face lights up with deranged confidence.
As Korvayne goes to grapple, Deena counters with a…
ARM DRAG!
Korvayne flips.
Deena pops back up.
SECOND ARM DRAG!
Korvayne rolls again.
Deena screams triumphantly.
“SEE?! I’M BETTER! I’M THE REAL ARTIST!”
JC: Deena’s truly crazy, Joe!
JR: I mean, right now, it’s working for her!
As Korvayne shoves her way back upright, Deena sprints at her again…
But Korvayne catches her around the back of the neck!
JC: Oh dear! Deena might be in trouble!
Korvayne rises up, looking for a…
LEONARDO’S LAMENT! (Codebreaker)
…But with surprising strength, Deena keeps Korvayne up in her arms…
She suddenly drops her across her knee! REVERSE ATOMIC DROP!
JC: …Ouch.
Korvayne’s face contorts in pain, as Deena leaps up, wraps her legs around Korvayne’s head!
Hurricanrana! Korvayne’s shoulders are planted to the mat with Deena sitting on her!
And Deena grabs Korvayne’s legs!
JC: Oh my God! This would be a big upset if Deena steals this one!
Deena’s face gleams with manic pride.
The official drops to count!
ONE!
TWO!
THR-NO! Korvayne kicks out.
Deena is thrown off Korvayne’s shoulders… she smacks the mat, furiously!
JC: Deena pulled off a surprising sequence there, Joe!
JR: But she’s gotta follow it up with something to put Korvayne away! No one writes a two-count down in the record books, Jacuinde!
After an extended period of slamming her fists into the mat with frustration, Deena’ eyes twitch wildly.
The voices demand the kill.
JC: Deena’s finally gathering herself enough to put the hurt back on Korvayne!
JR: Gathering herself is a strong word… she’s still completely unhinged, but those voices in her head all seem to be in agreement that the solution is finishng off Deena’s opponent!
Korvayne shakes her head, rising off the mat to her knees…
Deena’s face twists with determination...
She charges forward breaking into another sprint!
JC: Oh my God! This might do it!
Deena extends her boot, looking for a…
DEENA WIZARD!
…
But!
At the last second—
Korvayne slides underneath the incoming knee with breathtaking agility!
JC: Oh WOW! That dodge was…
JR: That was ART, Jacuinde!
Deena lands awkwardly, not prepared for her kick to miss!
Korvayne slips under and keeps running…
She springs onto the second rope.
The crowd gasps as Deena manages to gather her footing enough to spin around!
Korvayne launches forward—
PICASSO PUNCH!!!
JC: WOW! That shot was HARD!
JR: You’re not supposed to use your left hand to greet anyone in Dubai… But, Korvayne’s left fist just said hello to Deena’s skull! And introduced Deena to the sandman in the process!
Deena collapses like her strings were cut.
Korvayne’s chest rises slowly as she admires the destruction like an artist admiring a completed sculpture.
She slowly kneels and hooks the leg.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Winner: Koryvane
[white]]JR: Korvayne wins and she looked good doing it, Jacuinde! Deena put up a hell of a fight, but Korvayne was just too much!
JC: A strong debut for the provocative and controversial new star!
The cameras switch their views, cutting to the back. It’s still early on in the night; the crew scurries around, ensuring everything flows smoothly. Wrestlers in various states of gear are walking around or warming up in corners, keeping to themselves. Yelena Gorgo is one of those, intense and imposing as always, warming up in a quiet hallway near the entry point for the roster. As she drops to do another set of pushups, the doors swing open, inviting in the last of the sunlight and the gaggle of loud fans who couldn’t get tickets to the show that night, hanging out in hopes of getting an autograph or a selfie from whoever was gracious enough to stop. The camera follows Yelena’s gaze, and both watch as Betsy Granger and Sebastian Everett-Bryce stroll in; his arm is casually thrown over her shoulders, she with an arm around his waist, both dragging small wheeled suitcases.
Rolling her eyes, Yelena ignores the interruption and continues with her workout. Betsy and Sebastian let the door shut behind them, the performative grins plastered to their faces relaxing into a more natural expression. They both notice Yelena at this point, who was still ignoring them for her pre-match ritual; Seb was content to leave her to it, but Betsy hesitated, resisting when Seb tried guiding her along. Pulling out of his grasp, she puts a hand on his chest and lifts herself up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek.
Betsy: I’ll meet you in the back in a few… I want to talk to her real quick.
Sebastian opens his mouth to object, but Betsy puts a finger over his lips.
Betsy: Give me a few minutes…
Nodding, Seb takes her suitcase from her and plants a kiss on her forehead before walking away. Turning towards Yelena, she sits down in front of her and watches, impressed, with the ease with which Yelena finishes her sets. When she finishes and looks up, her eyes meet Betsy’s, who is giving her a disarming smile.
Betsy: Hey, there.
Yelena’s leaning against the wall, one knee bent with the heel of her boot pressed against the concrete block. Her hair is a jagged blonde curtain around her face, casting uneven shadows beneath the sharp cliffs of her brow. Her eyes, ice rings around deeply black cores, look at Betsy with an intense interest.
She pops the round lollipop from her lips and tips it in the other woman’s direction.
Yelena: Well, well, if it ain’t the Impossible Traveler herself. What’s shakin’, Granger?
Betsy: Another day, another show, another chance to shove it to the man.
Betsy tips her head to the side as she considers Yelena carefully.
Betsy: In the current state of things… It’s hard to find people you can trust. Especially with over-bloated trillionaires pulling all… well… most of the strings around here.
The Impossible Traveler’s face darkens.
Betsy: I refuse to be a corporate puppet… You strike me as someone who feels the same. There are many who would bend the knee for an opportunity to climb higher around here.
Yelena pushes off the wall. Her ox-blood jacket falls loosely closed over her swoop-necked t-shirt. She pushes back the hair from her face, fingers guiding it behind her ear. The motion drags her smile into the light, split-open and uneven, like the two sides were in disagreement on how high to rise up her cheekbones.
Yelena: Listen to you. All power to the people. You don’t wanna be a corporate puppet, but you date a guy with an empire on his back and you’re talkin’ to a woman who takes a siesta on a patio where Bing Crosby probably crooned his way through a blowjob or two.
She snorted a laugh and placed her index finger over Betsy’s lips before she could lodge a protest.
Yelena: I’m only pointin’ out the reality of the sitch, feel me? Sebby ain’t nothin’ like those three and neither am I. I met Musk once. I don’t think I ever mentioned it. At a party. Someone dragged me over to meet him. He spent twenty minutes stumbling through a fuckin’ dissertation about how one we’ll all have personal robots that go to work for us, and our jobs are to change the oil and keep the Tin Man goin’
She scrunched her face.
Yelena: He smells like cheese. That’s all I could keep thinkin’. Like it was coming out of his pores. So you don’t gotta sell me on stompin’ on his dreams. And Zuckerberg? Moron. Grade A fucking idiot. Both of them are playing games. Zucks’ is the Sims. Except he locked everyone inside and set the kitchen on fire. Calls it a social experiment. So, Betsy-Cakes, what’s your plan? Because I’m hungry—and this sounds delicious.
Betsy’s smile never wavers as she listens to Yelena, studying her carefully as one would a prize cut of meat. Once Yelena opens the floor to her once more, Betsy’s expression shifts to one promising mischief.
Betsy: I intend to make the lives of those men as difficult as I possibly can… I met Elon when I was 18, and unfortunately, I didn’t get a dissertation. Not to say he didn’t want to get hands-on and chatty…
She looks at Yelena and gags, a genuine shudder rippling through her as the memory comes through.
Betsy: I doubt he remembers, but I do… Gross as fuck. Men like that think they can just say what they want, do what they want, to whoever they want, and walk away from it… He and Zuckerberg both cost me friends because of the way they do business.
Betsy’s hands clench into fists.
Betsy: It’s bad enough having to read about all of them nearly every day on some platform or another. If I had it my way, I would raze everything that made their fortunates to the ground and crucify them on national television… Perhaps that comes later, if we’re lucky… But for right now?
She glances at Yelena, the anger ebbing away back to the charming smile. Reaching over, she takes the lollipop from Yelena and rolls it around her tongue before giving it a decent suck and popping it back in her mouth.
Betsy: I’d be satisfied finding a way to drive those fucks out of my god damn home. But these things can’t be handled delicately, nor alone. I’ve seen you… I’ve heard you. I do believe our paths could align. I accept your doubts, and your take on the situation. If my words aren’t enough…
Betsy gets to her feet and dusts herself off.
Betsy: I have no problem putting my money where my mouth is. I would very much like to be a purveyor of chaos around here… And I believe we could work well together on that.
When Betsy turned herself into a Sucker Thief, Yelena wiggled her fingers like they suddenly felt naked. Her face scrunched up. Her nose even wiggled a bit. Then she… relaxed. A sigh came fluttering out of her lips, like the storm-raged river had suddenly quieted into a gentle stream.
Yelena: I think we can do that.
Around Betsy she goes, where she stops?
Around the other shoulder, duh. Her smile went from horror-movie grin to a soft, sly smirk.
Yelena: In fact, I can imagine us working together in all manner of positions. I have a few ideas. How about after the show we workshop a few? Whip up a PowerPoint.
Her shoulders lurched backward. Hands shot into the air and went wide, as if she were unveiling a billboard.
Yelena: How to Defeat a Billionaire. Step 1: Find a billionaire of your own that likes the idea of chucking molotov cocktails into the homes of other billionaires. The kind of bitch who screams Free Luigi and may, or may not, own a first edition of the Communist Manifesto.
She twists around to Bety’s front, clicking her cowboy boots on the smooth cement.
Yelena: Congrats, Granger. I’m your huckleberry.
And she sticks her hand out for a shake. With a glitter in her green eyes, Betsy slaps her hand in Yelena’s, and the women shake to a newfound alliance based in mayhem.
Helix Nebula by Anamanaguchi blasts as colored lights in beat to the rhythm pass over the roaring crowd.
When the beat kicks in Game Girl swoops down from the rafters on her flying cloud, Nimbus, going over fans and reaching down to give them passing high fives before sailing over to the ring and flipping down to her feet into a fist-raising pose.
The house lights die. Instantly. The arena plunges into a total, suffocating B L A C K.
Silence hangs in the dead air—a held breath—before the world DETONATES.
SONG: "BLACK RAINBOW" by SPIRIT BOX
♫ YOUR HEART ♫
♫ IS A HOLE ♫
Violent STROBES shatter the dark—a disorienting, epileptic stutter. Words flash on the video screen in rapid, subliminal bursts.
♫ I CAN SEE FOR MILES AND MILES! ♫
♫ BEYOND THE BLACK RAINBOW! ♫
Color-tinted haze bleeds out across the stage floor. The camera sweeps the crowd, catching the frenetic energy. The arena plunges to black again. The music builds, grinding upward.
♫ EX-IT! ♫
CRIMSON SPOTS bleed onto the stage. Through the thick haze, a silhouette stands motionless. Head down. Shoulders rigid.
The lens pushes in aggressively. She lifts her head.
YELENA GORGO. She wears a nightmare grin—arrogant, cruel, and sexy. Intricate blonde braids pull tight against her scalp, gleaming under the red light, woven with crimson thread that looks like fresh sutures.
♫ INSIDE THE MIDNIGHT YOU'VE BEEN SLITH-ER-ING ♫
♫ YOU FORM THE COLUMN'S … DE-FIC-IEN-CY ♫
Yelena breaks her stance. She doesn't walk; she PROWLS. A confident, hip-swaying swagger that radiates pure, unadulterated narcissism. She locks eyes with the camera lens, acknowledging her own dominance.
♫ I LATCH ON TO YOU … WE … RE-PRESS-UR-IZE ♫
♫ IN-FRA-RED … PAR-A-DISE ♫
The bass drops out. A suspended moment of tension. Yelena stops dead. She stares at nothing, eyes wide, that grin horrifyingly fixed.
The beat DROPS.
♫ UPWARDS! FEEL THE PRE-SSURE! ♫
♫ ABSCESS! HEART IS A HOLE! ♫
A fist slams to her chest—perfectly timed to the percussion—as she mouths the scream.
Desperate hands reach over the barricade during the approach to the ring, but they are ignored. The camera angle drops low, transforming her into a giant against the lights, her focus locked entirely on the canvas.
Yelena hits the apron and leaps—terrifying athleticism—landing on the edge. She grabs the top rope and leans back, crouching low into a broken, spider-like pose. Her gaze sweeps the arena like a predator surveying the night's menu.
♫ DISSOLVE! DISPLACE! REJOICE! REPEAT! ♫
♫ NO PRESSURE HERE! TO MEET YOUR SOUL! ♫
She explodes to her feet in the center of the ring. Arms thrown wide. Chest heaving. She screams the lyric to the rafters:
♫ BEYOND THE BLACK RAINBOW! ♫
A scream tears from her throat, directed straight at the rafters. In one fluid motion, she spins, hooks the top rope, and leans back over it—hanging upside down—staring backward at the crowd with that frozen, beautiful, PSYCHOPATHIC grin.
DING! DING! DING!
Game Girl doesn’t waste a second feeling things out. She zooms across the ring faster than Sonic The Hedgehog as energy builds around her feet and—
Shift-Slide!
Yelena's knocked off balance and stumbles forward, but Game Girl is already back on her feet and springs forward snapping her heel into Yelena’s jaw with a Flip Kick!
Yelena staggers again as Game Girl pivots and fires off a Raging Uppercut!
JC: Game Girl’s looking for an early night!
JR: She knows she can’t go shot for shot with Gorgo, so she's blindsiding her with speed instead!
Game Girl rears back to keep the combos going, but Yelena’s hand suddenly clamps down around her fist. Yelena growls at the crowd as Game Girl buckles under the sheer power of Gorgo. The crowd is in stunned silence as Game Girl jerks and twists, trying to rip herself free.
Yelena only cinches tighter and slowly turns her now smiling face back toward her.
JR: Uh oh…
She steps in and launches her with a HARAI GOSHI throw!
Game Girl gets flies clean over Yelena’s hip and slams hard to the mat.
JC: Big judo throw!
JR: That right there is Olympic level technique if I've ever seen it!
Game Girl rolls onto her side and clutches at her back while also fighting to get the wind back.
Yelena stalks forward, grabbing a handful of Paige’s hair and dragging her upright. She then drives a stiff forearm across Paige's jaw.
*CRACK*
Game Girl stumbles.
Then another forearm lands.
And another.
JR: Those forearms are ugly!
JC: Gorgo’s not trying to score points here, she’s trying to re-digitize her face!
Game Girl tries to answer back with a quick punch to the ribs, but Yelena barely even reacts to the shot.
Instead she steps into it and hooks the arm, stepping through into a OSOTO GARI!
Game Girl is slammed hard onto the canvas again. She tries to roll away, but Yelena is on her and lifts her up onto her shoulder and marches her toward the corner...
SNAKE EYES!
Game Girl’s face bounces off the top pad and she stumbles right into a brutal Pump Kick that drops her!
JR: She nearly took her head off with that one!
Yelena drops to a knee, then mounts her and hammers down with stiff, grinding punches.
Left.
Right.
Another right.
Game Girl manages to get free and kick Yelena off of her. She quickly rolls underneath the bottom rope and pulls herself up onto the apron on the outside where she shakes her head trying to system reset.
Yelena rushes in and dives over the top rope with a clothesline that spills the fight to the outside.
Back on their feet, Yelena charges in. Game Girl barely ducks a swinging forearm and fires back with a quick kick to the knee. Yelena’s leg buckles and Game Girl launches herself into a Flip Kick!
The heel catches Yelena under the chin and staggers her backward. She falls into the barricade. Game Girl darts forward again and hits a Kirākikku! drive-by kick.
JC: That speed again!
JR: She’s trying to keep Yelena off balance!
Game Girl grabs Yelena’s arm and tries tp whip her into the steel steps, but Yelena reverses.
Game Girl vaults onto the steps, and leaps back with a Raging Uppercut!
The punch finally knocks her down to one knee.
The crowd's going wild as Game Girl throws her hands up like she just landed a perfect 30 move combo finisher.
Then she drops and looks around under the ring.
She spots something and reaches in deep.
When she stands up again...
The WARHAMMER is in her hand!!!
JR: Uh oh…
JC: First Blood match, remember!
Yelena pushes up to her feet just as Game Girl charges forward.
*BONK*
Big Adventure
The hammer smashes into Yelena’s forehead.
Yelena staggers.
Game Girl swings again!
SPIN TO WIN!
The hammer catches Yelena on the temple and sends her falling against the barricade.
Game Girl raises the weapon triumphantly.
The crowd erupts.
Then the referee rushes in.
Because a thin line of red begins to run down Yelena’s forehead.
JR: That might do it!
JC: Might!? That’s blood! IT'S OVER!
The referee moves in closer.
Game Girl drops the hammer and starts celebrating.
But Yelena suddenly reaches over the barricade and snatches a fan’s water bottle, and pours it over her head.
The blood runs down her face and washes away, underneath?
Nothing.
The referee wipes his thumb across her forehead.
No wounds. No blood.
JR: Wait… what?!
JC: Was I seeing things? I could have sworn she was busted!?
Game Girl's jaw drops when she realizes what just happened.
Yelena grins and lunges forward, grabbing Paige by the throat and hurling her back into the ring.
Game Girl rolls through and pops back to her feet on instinct.
She charges as Yelena enters—Shift-Slide—Yelena hops over it!
Game Girl spins up into a Flip Kick!
Yelena ducks.
Game Girl lands and fires the Electric Wind God Fist!
The shot cracks Yelena across the jaw and finally staggers the bigger woman backward.
The crowd explodes again as Game Girl keeps moving.
Get Over Here!
She hooks Yelena and yanks her forward into the Raging Uppercut!
Yelena’s head snaps back as Game Girl leaps into the air and thrusts both boots into Yelena's chest!
Romper Stomper!
Yelena's coughing for air as she rolls away, and pushes up to her knees.
Game Girl charges again, but this time Yelena catches with a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX!
Both competitors just lie on the mat.
Slowly they begin to move again.
Game Girl pushes to her knees first.
But Yelena pushes to her feet first.
They stagger toward each other looking worse for wear.
Game Girl swings.
Yelena attempts to counter with a Judo throw.
But her balance is off and they both crash violently into the turnbuckles and drop to the canvas.
Game Girl rolls away from the wreckage coughing. She grabs onto the ropes and tries to pull herself up.
Yelena pushes up from the canvas first and shakes the cobwebs loose with an irritated snarl.
Both women look rough, and the referee takes this pause to check their faces carefully for blood.
Nothing yet.
JR: This is getting dangerous now. One clean shot is all it’s gonna take!
Game Girl drags herself to her feet. She looks across the ring at Yelena and wipes sweat out of her eyes.
Then she suddenly raises one finger in the air.
JC: What… what is she doing?
Game Girl begins pressing invisible buttons.
Up.
Up.
Down.
Down.
Left.
Right.
Left.
Right.
B.
A.
B.
A.
START!
JR: Was that the Konami code!?
A strange shimmer ripples around Game Girl for a split second like a visual glitch.
Then her head suddenly balloons to absurd proportions.
BIG HEAD MODE
The crowd explodes with laughter as Game Girl nods proudly, then takes off running.
Yelena sees her coming and rushes in.
They collide as Game Girl delivers a CRUSHING—
RUNNING HEADBUTT!
Her oversized head SMASHES directly into Yelena’s with a sickening crack.
Both women collapse onto the mat on impact.
The impact echoes through the arena.
The water in the restroom toilets ripple.
The guy in section Y seat 52 spills his popcorn.
And for a moment neither of them move.
The referee rushes in and drops to his knees between them.
JC: Oh my god!
JR: That might have cracked somebody open!
The official begins frantically checking both competitors’ faces.
Game Girl is glitching, twitching, and spamming moves uncontrollably as the impact from the headbutt takes it’s toll on her gamer girl bod’. Her oversized head starts losing air and shrinking down to size, almost like a balloon being squeezed…..but there’s no blood!
So the referee goes back to checking on Gorgo, who appears possibly concussed and definitely loony from the force of the impact- but she’s not bleeding either!
And now-
Gorgo begins standing!
Slowly rising, like a phoenix reborn from its ashes!
JC: Somehow, GORGO RISES FIRST!
JR: And there’s not a lick of blood on her! This woman is a BEAST!
GORGO! GORGO! GORGO!
JC: This is… a little surprising! This crowd is going absolutely nuts for Yelena Gorgo!
As Gorgo makes it back to her feet first, a sudden swelling of cheers surges throughout the arena! Everyone is on their feet, hooting and hollering, cheering for Yelena!
JC: Listen to those fans, Joe! They’re chanting Gorgo’s names to the rafters!
JR: It’s nothing against Game Girl, but these fans seem to LOVE them some Gorgo! They want to see Gorgo wreak some havoc- and I think Yelena’s going to give it to them!
The sudden volley of cheers for Yelena empowers her, as she heads over to her glitching opponent. Yelena picks up Game Girl, before lifting her into the air with a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX!
But she doesn’t stop there!
While keeping a stiff hold onto Game Girl, Yelena rises once more- showing off her extreme skill as a grappler, much to the amazement of the crowd. Yelena keeps GG suspended in the air, showcasing her “God”-given talents to the cheering crowd.
JC: Yelena has full control of this match! It’s only a matter of time before she breaks Game Girl’s entire body!
JR: Down with the clanker!
JC: I don’t…I don’t think you’re allowed to say that about her, Joe!
After Yelena shows off her incredible strength to the ravenous crowd, she quickly delivers a series of FLOAT OVER NORTHERN LIGHT SUPLEXES! The ring rattles, and the people go wild!
Yelena executes a Northern Lights Suplex but rather than hold for the pin, they kick their legs over, landing their feet on either side of the opponent, and then lift them up for a second Northern Lights Suplex! They repeat this for a third time before letting go of the hold and letting the referee check on GG for blood. Yelena gloats and taunts at GG, speaking a variety of languages as she relishes in the destruction of the bot’s body.
JC: Game Girl is in a bad spot, Joe!
JR: Yelena Gorgo has thoroughly outwrestled, outgrappled, and outclassed Game Girl tonight- but now, she has to bleed her out like a pig!
JC: JESUS CHRISTO, Joe!
JR: What?! I didn’t pick the stipulation! I just commentate on it!
As Yelena Gorgo takes in the sweet sound of the cheering crowd, the referee checks Game Girl for blood- finding none.
Instead, he finds Game Girl furiously pressing buttons on an invisible controller- even as her eyes glitch and her body short-circuits!
A+B!
Left!
Down!
Down!
Down!
Left!
A + B!
JR: Ok, what the heck is she doing in the ring- spazzing out?! That’s not a part of any mixed martial art I know.
JC: But that’s only because you don’t know, the art- of GAMING!
JR: I’ve had my limit with this gamer Girl nonsense, this is supposed to be a first blood match, not some e-sports competition!
JC: But Joe, can’t you see?! Game Girl just dialed up THE LIMIT BREAKER!
The arena goes pitch black, only light from the energy of GG’s attacks can be seen as they strike her opponent.
When the lights come back on, Yelena Gorgo is knocked out. GG is standing over them with her back to the hard camera, and the letters "KO" appearing on Yelena Gorgo’s forehead from nowhere.
Appearing on Yelena Gorgo’s forehead in blood!
Winner by First Blood - Game Girl!
The referee calls for the bell when he realizes that Gorgo’s head has been bloodied by GG’s Limit Breaker combo! When the referee goes to raise GG’s hand, a spark of electricity shoots off from her body as she short-circuits, phasing in and out of sight as her condition worsens!
JC: Yelena Gorgo put GG through HELL tonight, and the crowd cheered for it! But she just couldn’t make Game Girl bleed!
JR: I don’t know why it’s legal for Game Girl to bend the rules of time, space, and physics in her matches- but I guess that’s why I’m not be a referee! Either way, Yelena Gorgo put on a wrestling CLINIC tonight!
JC: But it’s Game Girl who escapes by the skin of her teeth tonight!...even if she’s not escaping in one piece!
After the referee backs away from her short-circuiting body, we see Game Girl limping out of the ring and into the arms of paramedics. GG’s robotic left arm is busted up and sparking out, clearly missing a few key sockets and joints. GG’s neck is twisted and bent awkwardly to one side, and her eyes keep flashing to anti-virus software…but hey, at least she’s not bleeding!
Before we cut to commercial, we see Yelena Gorgo rise to her feet, wiping away the thin smear of blood atop her forehead. The wound beneath is gone- but the cheers of the crowd still remain!
[amatch]
The Director appears to silence initially, as he surveys the studio audience assembled before the soundstage, sitting on a gilded director's chair, with a black cloak at his back. "Whiplash" by Architects cracks the silence as four masked men, clad in all black, each mask bearing an X, O, triangle and square, respectively. As the music plays, they each grab a corner of the chair, lifting him and carrying him down the ramp like pall bearers.
JC: The Director has made it his recent mission to make Sebastian Everett-Bryce’s life a living hell!
JR: He attacked him on SEB’s home turf at UGWC! And he’s been hounding SEB to give him and Jenny Myst a shot for SEB and Isaiah King’s tag title shots!
JC: SEB’s tact up to now has largely been to not give Director the attention! SEB seems aware that to give Director attention is to give him the control he so desperately craves… Everett-Bryce seems eager to save their conflict for the ring, where it belongs!
JR: But this match ain’t in a wrestling ring, Jacuinde! This is a Director’s Cut match! Where the Director has total control!/white]
When they reach the end of the ramp, they set the chair down and X kneels down on all fours as the other three step aside. The Director stands, removing his cloak and handing it to one of the other masked men. He then steps onto X's back, using him as a human step stool to step foot onto the soundstage. Once in the ring, he spins with arms outstretched, taking in the boos of the crowd. He then moves to centerstage… behind a late night desk, like the master of ceremonies. He takes a seat upon the desk like it’s a throne… He enfolds his hands and awaits the start of the match.
STUDIO AUDIENCE: OOOOOOOOOH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
…
The lights in the arena dip to black in time with the sirens and beat to the opening of Sweatpants (BattleTapes Remix) by Childish Gambino, the lights then beginning to flash, alternating left and right onto the ramp. In time, the letters "S", "E", "B", and then "Empire" flash one at a time on the big screen until the lights stop flashing as the lyrics hit.
"She askin' “Why you say that?!”
The beat drops and the lights flash on the rampway again. As they do, the screen illuminates with "SEB" and then "EMPIRE" flashing on the sceen.
"Rich kid asshole, paint me as a villain"
Sebastian Everett-Bryce flings his arms wide, staring up with his head covered by the hood of his jacket. He stands in the middle of the ramp, the lights beating down on him, before looking out at the crowd. He wears a long jacket with the hood pulled up over his head, zipped to the waist. The jacket, which is cut away at the bottom and only runs down the back of his legs, is patterned with an elongated Union Flag, but it’s in black and white and appears to be cracked and broken. His tights are short, with the initials SEB emblazoned upon the front.
[white]JC: And there he is! Sebastian Everett-Bryce! TWO-TIME Universal champion! And current 24/7 briefcase holder! One of the most successful stars in XWF history!
JR: But that success didn’t carry over to March Madness, Jacuinde! And you can tell that’s just eating away at SEB!
JC: It’s true, SEB had a surprising first round exit from the March Madness tournament… His competition being Scoops McGee and Yelena Gorgo, he had one of the hardest draws in the entire tournament… But he took his opponents to the limit!
JR: C’mon Jacuinde! He lost! Plain and simple!
JC: I can’t argue the result, Joe, but when you’re a champion of SEB’s caliber, a loss only feeds your hunger to push yourself! To dig deeper and win next time! SEB is eager to silence his critics and get back on track! And he literally has the unique opportunity to face off with one of his biggest critics in wrestling, The Director! Will SEB pull off the win? Or is this the Director’s show, and we’re all just living in it?
The lights lift, and SEB makes his way to the ring, stretching his neck from side to side as he walks, his eyes focused on the ring. He climbs up the steps and steps through the ropes before standing in the middle of the ring.
"I'm winnin', yeah, yeah, I'm winnin' (What?)
Rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villain"
He extends his arms once more before pulling back his hood and removing his jacket to reveal the back of his tights which read “S.E.B”
"Don't be mad cause I'm doing me better than you doing you
Better than you doing you, fuck it, what you gon' do? (What?!)"
He flashes his arms out to a side, a satisfied and somewhat sneery grin upon his face, he holds the position for a moment, to allow the crowd to take pictures, before moving towards his corner.
The bell rings.
Sebastian Everett-Bryce
- vs -
The Director THE DIRECTOR’S CUT
The match takes place on a soundstage, in front of a live studio audience! AND BARBED-WIRE IS EVERYWHERE!
The moment the bell rings, Sebastian Everett-Bryce storms across the stage toward the Director’s throne-like director chair!
JC: Look at SEB go! No theatrics! No nonsense!
The Director is actually caught off-guard…
JR: I think Director was ready to deliver a villainous monologue about how he and SEB aren’t so different, but SEB is ready to kick this guy’s ass!
SEB grabs the chair—
AND HURLS IT ACROSS THE SOUNDSTAGE!
The Director narrowly rolls aside as the chair crashes into a lighting rig wrapped in barbed wire.
TODD: Everett-Bryce isn’t here to perform tonight! He’s here to settle a score!
The Director dives behind his late night desk!
SEB grasps the desk and goes to hurl it on its side!
JC: There’s nowhere to run for the Director! And nowhere to hide either!
SEB manages to throw the desk over!
…But the Director is gone! Under the desk that SEB just dropped… is an escape hatch into the soundstage’s innards!
JR: Wrong there, Jacuinde! The Director always writes himself a means to escape! SEB is now trapped, completely under the Director’s control!
SEB circles the stage, at attention, ready for an ambush…
JC: SEB, feeling some desperation here…
JR: It’s not often the Empire isn’t in total control of the flow of a match… but how the hell is anyone but the Director supposed to have control in a Director’s Cut Match?!? Director’s got total creative control!
Suddenly, a light shines off stage right…
…SEB’s lips flatten with frustration.
JC: I think SEB knows that’s a trap, right, Joe?
JR: Almost certainly, Jacuinde! But how else is he gonna get the Director to pop out of his hidey hole than walking straight into it?
SEB carefully traipses on the balls of his feet across the stage toward the light…
When suddenly, from off-stage!
A muscular black masked man swings in, kicking SEB in the face! On the bottom of the screen, a message flashes…
SPECIAL GUEST STAR: ISAIAH KING!
The studio audience goes nuts for the unexpected appearance of the other tag-team champion!
JC: What?!? Isaiah King is on Warfare?!? AND he’s turning on SEB again?!? I thought they decided at Snow Pain, Snow Gain they were going to work together!
JR: These two do not like each other, Jacuinde! They have never liked each other! And no matter what they say, both these guys are determined to be better than the other!
SEB somersaults backward from the force of this masked Isaiah’s kick… SEB shakes his head…
As the masked Isaiah spins across the stage!
JC: Oh my God! Isaiah’s looking to decapitate his partner with a…
KING’S VERDICT!
…
NO! SEB ducks it!
JC: Incredible wherewithal by the Empire! Even dazed and confused, his ring general instincts spared him from getting his block knocked off!
The masked King’s arm sails over SEB’s head…
And SEB explodes forward—
EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!
The crack echoes across the studio audience.
The masked King stumbles backward…
But SEB doesn’t let up!
Another uppercut!
Another!
Another!
JR: SEB’s trying to knock Isaiah King’s crown off his head!
SEB hooks him—
BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!
“King” goes flying across the stage—
CRASHING into a pile of barbed-wire-wrapped camera cables!
The crowd gasps.
…SEB snorts impatiently… He crosses the stage…
And pulls off “Isaiah”’s mask…
…Revealing a man wearing an X mask!
JC: …Oh! It wasn’t Isaiah King! It was one of Director’s cronies designed to look like Isaiah!
JR: I think Director is clearly trying to whittle away at SEB’s confidence in his fellow tag-team champion… SEB saw through it… but what other ploys does The Director have in store for SEB?!?
SEB grumbles impatiently, beckoning for Director to come out…
JC: SEB clearly thought getting a match with the Director meant he’d actually get a chance to get his hands on him!
JR: Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like that was in the Director’s script!
SEB grits his teeth, barking at The Director to come out and face him…
…Suddenly, a curtain opens behind the stage! Revealing a bigger stage!
JC: Wait, there’s even more stage?!? How much production budget did the Director have for this match?!?
On the new stage… It’s a sealed black box… no hinges, no doors, no way to open it…
And through the portcullis of the box… It’s the face of Betsy Granger!
JC: …What?!? The Impossible Traveler is competing in a match for the Television Title later tonight!
JR: Well, right now, the only thing Granger is in is Trouble!
SEB’s eyes widen as he sees this setup, moving quickly toward the box…
JC: We’ve seen SEB and Betsy grow closer in recent weeks! This is a truly sick game the Director is playing to get in SEB’s head!
SEB approaches the tank… he peers inside the portcullis, calling out to Betsy, asking if she can get out…
Suddenly, from above… the tank begins to fill with water!
JC: …Oh my God! Is… Is the Director going to drown Betsy Granger… Just to get in SEB’s head?
JR: It’s a bold strategy, Jacuinde! And also… attempted murder!
SEB’s mouth goes agape…
”Stop it…” Betsy’s voice calls out.
JC: Betsy is pleading for SEB to stop this death trap!
JR: But how?!?
SEB tries to shoulder block the box open… as a wheel turns above… suddenly, the water is coming out twice as fast to fill the box!
”STOP IT.”
JC: It sounds like Betsy’s getting a little more panicked…
JR: How panicked do you think she should be, Jacuinde, she’s in mortal danger!
…SEB grunts… emotion palpable as he rapidly circles the tank, looking for some weakness, some riddle… some point of ingress… some riddle or means by which he can peel this box open… It can’t just be an unsolvable game to watch Betsy die, right?
…
Right?
The water fills past her neck…
”Stop it…”
Over her mouth…
Over her nose…
JC: …Um… this can’t be real, right? We… there’s no way…
JR: The Director is willing to do anything if it means control! And this… SEB can’t feel like he’s got even a smidgen of control right now!
In an instant, it dawns on SEB… there’s no trick, no game, no challenge… It’s not competition, it’s pure sadism… He desperately hammers his fists against the box, desperate to save Betsy…
The tank is full now…
He strikes the tank with his fists…
…
Suddenly, the glass gives way!
Water floods backwards out of the tank!
JC: …Wait! Did SEB do it?
JR: They don’t make supervillain death traps like they used to!
As the tank empties, SEB rushes to peel the box open to save Betsy…
…SEB goes to free Betsy inside the tank…
…
But as he approaches…
Betsy seems to flicker… As SEB moves toward her, Betsy partially disappears…
JC: What the Hell?
…SEB turns around, he raises his hand to block a light…
And that causes more of Betsy to disappear!
JC: …Wait! That’s not Betsy! That’s a hologram!
JR: Then what was that voice!?! That was Betsy’s voice!
Suddenly, an audio clip plays…
”Stop it… STOP IT.”
JC: …Gasp! That was a clip from one of Betsy’s recent promos!
JR: …Did you just say gasp!
JC: The Director setup that scene entirely to play more mindgames with SEB!
…SEB’s features twist… impatient… angry… calculating…
JC: The Director has spent this match determined to get in SEB’s head… But at some point, they have to actually fight, right?
SEB slowly turns away from the shattered tank.
Water drips from the stage… pooling around his boots.
His jaw tightens.
His breathing steadies.
And something in his posture changes.
JC: …Hold on a second. Look at SEB’s face…
JR: That ain’t panic anymore, Jacuinde. That’s a man thinkin’. And that’s dangerous.
SEB wipes water from his hands… then calmly walks toward the center of the soundstage.
He spreads his arms.
SEB slowly turns in a circle… addressing the empty stage.
SEB slowly kneels down…
And deliberately sits cross-legged in the middle of the stage.
The crowd murmurs louder.
Silence.
SEB folds his hands.
…
Nothing happens.
Five seconds pass.
Ten seconds.
Twenty.
JC: The Director’s not taking the bait!
JR: No… but look at SEB. He’s not moving an inch.
JC: SEB knows the worst thing for a Director is a lack of action! SEB’s leaving himself totally vulnerable to an attack!
SEB closes his eyes.
Perfectly still.
Like a statue.
The cameras pan across the stage…
The audience leans forward…
The tension builds.
…
Then—
A panel slowly slides open behind SEB.
The Director quietly climbs onto the stage.
Whip in hand.
Moving silently.
The crowd begins buzzing! Screaming even!
JC: Oh my God… he took the bait!
JR: SEB knew the Director couldn’t resist the shot that’ll make his whole production!
The Director stalks closer…
raising the whip…
preparing to strike…
The crowd screams for SEB to turn around!
SEB’S EYES SNAP OPEN!
SEB explodes upward—
SPINNING BACK ELBOW!
The strike CRACKS against the Director’s jaw!
JC: HE GOT HIM! HE GOT HIM!
The Director stumbles back—
But SEB doesn’t let him escape!
SEB grabs the cloak—
YANKS the Director forward—
GERMAN SUPLEX!
The Director flies backward across the stage—
CRASHING into a lighting stand wrapped in barbed wire…
…No! The Director manages to somersault back onto his feet and stop himself from going into the barbed wire!
JC: The Director manages to avoid disaster!
JR: But he’s out in the open now! The Empire has dragged the Director into a REAL fight!
The Director once again raises his whip, eager to bring it down on SEB…
But SEB dives forward!
EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!
The Director’s head snaps back.
Another uppercut!
Another!
Another!
JC: This is the fight SEB wanted from the beginning!
The Director tries to swing the whip—
SEB catches his wrist!
TWISTS the arm!
SNAPS him down with an arm-trap suplex onto the stage!
JR: That’s world-class technical wrestling right there!
JC: The Director’s been evading a one-on-one battle with SEB all-night… But SEB finally has The Director right where he wants him!
JR: Cut! CUT! Let’s take five everybody! This scene might need a rewrite!
SEB lifts Director out of the stage wiring… Latching him into a waistlock…
JC: SEB might be looking for the Conquest here!
But the Director pulls from the wires…
His trademark whip!
JC: How the hell did that get there?
JR: It’s the Director’s soundstage, how do you think?!?
SEB goes to set Director for a German Suplex…
But Director latches onto SEB’s wrist, stopping the lift!
SEB whips Director around, looking for a front facelock…
But in response, Director *literally* WHIPS SEB in the ribs!
SEB doubles over, falling to one knee…
As the Director cackles insidiously, letting his whip unfurl…
JC: Oh God… This is going to be agonizing!
Director reels back… HE KERACKS THAT WHIP!
…
But SEB forward-somersaults, narrowly dipping under the strike…
And as he comes up off the roll, SEB surges forward!
E
M
P
I
R
E
K
I
C
K
SEB’s boot catches the side of Director’s mask!
JC: What a strike by SEB! The Director can’t have control if he’s unconscious!
SEB collapses exhausted backwards onto The Director!
The official counts!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE
Winner: Sebastian Everett-Bryceweventr]
[weventr]
“Now, who’s ready to be baptized into a new era of entertainment?!”
The lights go out in the arena as the voice calls out its query. A moment later, bright, twinkling lights like stars scatter across the building.
“Rome wasn’t built in a day
You gotta climb a little higher,
To the top of the display,
Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
The starlight intensifies as a figure rises from beneath the platform, her back to the crowd, head down. The song continues to echo throughout the arena, electric and intense. Her blonde hair is tied into a tight shark-braid that swings back and forth as she bounces from foot to foot.
“If you want it, just take it,
The world's yours, don’t waste it,
Go make the stars align, to shine-”
The rising platform levels to the arena floor in unison with the beat drop to the song.
“BRIGHTER!”
As the word echoes through the arena, an explosion of sparkling pyrotechnics go off as Betsy Granger throws out her arms, revealing a blue chiffon robe lit with bright stars.
“Brighter than the heavens in the skies above,
(oooh oooh)
You’ll be,
BRIGHTER!"
Twirling gracefully to face the crowd, she points skyward as the lights in the arena flood back on. Betsy bounces twice before half-running, half-skipping down the ramp towards the ring.
JC: Have to imagine that Betsy Granger is ready and eager to put herself right back on track here in the XWF, and what an opportunity she has to do so here tonight for the TV title!
JR: She’s been on quite the skid though, Jack. 'm not saying she doesn't belong here, I'm just saying… Centurion's been doing this longer than some of these fans have been alive. She's got a mountain to climb.
JC: That may be true, but Betsy still has all the talent in the world, and she’s eager to make good on it here tonight.
"Going supernova, all the eyes look up
(at you, at you)
BRIGHTER!”
The song switches to an instrumental break as she does one complete circuit around the ring. Throwing off her cape on the announcer's table, she dashes towards the ring and jumps onto the apron in a one clean move. Using her momentum, she bounces clean over the top rope and spins on her toes to the center of the ring, arms out wide. As she comes to a stop, the music swells, and the crowd joins in like a devoted choir, just the same as the song itself.
“BRIIIIIIIIIGHTEEEEERRRRRRR”
Betsy grins widely and bounces from foot to foot, ready for the fight.
The pulsating guitar of Wild Thing echoes around the arena, and the crowd immediately turns raucous and excited as the XWF Legend, Centurion, comes out from behind the curtain. He grins, shining his Television Championship at the top of the ramp as the song explodes.
“WILD THING!”
JR: Look at him, Jack. Centurion looks about twenty years younger right now with how he’s smiling.
JC: Centurion’s been having something of a late-stage renaissance here in the XWF though, and he’s been showing his stuff every show he can. He’s got a very game opponent here tonight, but he’s got all the confidence in the world here as he makes his way to the ring.
JR: This match is his to lose, Jack, but we’ll see if Rome falls to the barbarians here tonight.
Centurion struts his way down to the ring, slapping the hands of the fans nearby before he rolls underneath the bottom rope. He quickly makes his way to the turnbuckle, holding the TV title on high as the fans pop like crazy for him. He holds himself there for a minute, before hopping off and delivering the TV title off to the referee.
JC: And we are underway here on Warfare! Betsy and Centurion, two veterans of their craft, circling around as they're looking to get busy!
JR: They've both got that killer instinct glimmering in their eyes right now, but only one of them are gonna be able to make good on that.
The bell barely finishes echoing before Betsy charges across the ring, not waiting for a collar-and-elbow! She fires a karate-style roundhouse into Centurion's thigh before he can set his feet, and another quickly follows!
Centurion eats the first two and shoots his hand out for a tie-up, but Betsy spins away behind him, wrenching his wrist into a spinning armwringer! Cent doesn't wait though as he grunts, drops his shoulder, and rolls forward through the hold to reverse the pressure! Betsy releases and resets fast, both of them circling!
JC: We're seeing some early aggression here from Betsy, though. She's not here to feel this one out.
JR: That's smart from her, though. Fifteen minutes goes fast, if she can work her magic and throw Cent off his game in the early stages, then she's in position to take advantage.
Centurion is the one moving forward now, and this time he gets the lock-up he was wanting. He puts his strength advantage to good use, bullying Betsy into the ropes and working her over. The referee quickly gets involved, looking for a break… and Cent relents!
JC: Clean break here from our TV champ.
JR: I don't think Betsy would have given him the same privilege. Cent's gotta show some dominance here tonight to help him bounce back after last Warfare.
Betsy nods as Cent lowers his guard, backing up, but that's all the space she needs! Betsy detonates with a semi-circular kick that catches Cent right on the ear! The crowd pops for the harsh impact as Cent sucks in air through his teeth!
10:47
10:46
10:45
Betsy darts in, Cent looking to take her out with a lariat! Betsy rolls forward though, instead clocking Cent with a rolling Koppu kick! Centurion stumbles back, letting Betsy hop right up to her feet! She jumps up right in the air for a Hurricanrana-
CAUGHT BY CENT! BETSY CAN'T ROLL CENT OVER! Cent hoists her back up to a seated position! He throws her off now! Betsy lands on her feet-
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
JR: Holy shit-
JC: That bicycle knee from Centurion just clocked Betsy right on the chin! She looks dazed right now!
JR: Those twenty-plus years of instincts paying off in dividends right now!
Betsy stumbles around, trying to regain her composure, but inadvertently gives her back to Centurion! The TV Champ doesn't waste a second as he hoists her from behind… SAITO SUUUUUUUPLEX!
Betsy gets dropped right on her head as Cent holds the bridge for the pin!
OOOOOOOOOOONE!
TWOOOOOOOOOO!
KICKOUT!
JC: Centurion almost having it there, but not quite.
JR: Betsy showing a bit of her resilience there, but they've got a lot more match to get through here before one of them relents.
8:31
8:30
8:29
Centurion stands over the downed Betsy Granger, a look of irritation on his face as he can't quite put her away. He grits his teeth and grabs her by the wrist, looking to pull her up by the feet…
But Betsy comes alive! She counters into an arm drag that puts Cent right on the mat, and she's still got wrist control! She pushes Cent over onto his belly, transitioning into a Fujiwara Armbar! Cent is scrambling, but Betsy rolls over for a bridge!
JC: Betsy's so damn good at pulling something from out of nothing! This armbar is catching Centurion with his pants down!
JR: She's got the instincts of a caged animal, Jack. You can see Cent trying to keep up down below.
The ref gets down, asking Cent if he wants to give up! He roars a loud 'no' right into the ref's face as he powers onto his side, forcefully breaking up the bridge as Betsy rolls over! She's still got wrist control as they both come up onto their feet… but Cent pulls her in for a HEAVY knee to the ribs!
Betsy doubles over slightly, just enough for Centurion to catch her right on the chin with a standing dropkick! She stumbles back to the corner, huffing and puffing, as Cent looks to press his advantage! He rushes in!
But Betsy gets a boot up to cut him off! That one staggers Cent, letting Betsy jump right up… HURRICANRANA DRIVER RIGHT INTO THE SECOND TURNBUCKLE!
JC: PLANTE DE VISAGE! Folks, you can see a little color in the ring right now, I think Cent's nose got busted open from that impact there!
JR: I'd be surprised if he didn't completely break his nose there! Betsy absolutely hammered him with that driver!
Centurion stays on the second turnbuckle, slumped over with glassy eyes, as Betsy tries to finish this! She pulls him back right into a School Boy pin!
OOOOOOOONE!
TWOOOOOOOO!
KICKOUT!
JC: Both these fighters are rolling with the blows right now, but neither one of them are relenting.
JR: Something's gotta give though, Jack. We might go right down to the wire with this one.
4:45
4:44
4:43
Betsy has Cent from behind, trying to cinch in for her patented Snapmare Driver. Cent abruptly cuts her off with an elbow to the sternum, before abruptly moving back to jam her right into the corner! That takes the wind out of Betsy's sails as she doubles over!
Centurion staggers forward, leaning on the ropes to support himself and take a breath. Betsy tries to go forward again though as she sees Cent leaning!
Betsy runs, swerves around on the ropes! TIGER FEINT KICK- BUT CENTURION DUCKS UNDERNEATH!
JR: There's those instincts I was talking about again!
BETSY LANDS ON BOTH FEET INSIDE THE RING, BUT CENTURION YANKS HER TO THE CENTER FROM BEHIND! HE HOISTS HER UP… ANGLE SLAAAAAAAM!
JC: That's the 1000 Mile Slam! Centurion might have slammed Betsy all the way to China with that one!
JR: He's gotta cover her, though!
Centurion grimaces, slowly staying on top of Betsy as he pushes himself up for the cover!
OOOOOOOONE!
TWOOOOOOOO!
KICKOUT!
JC: Betsy's bleeding pride right now as she's scrapping to stay in this!
JR: But Centurion is actually bleeding right now! You can tell he's having trouble breathing through it! The longer this match goes, the more he's running out of energy!
JC: But can Betsy capitalize?!
Centurion pushes himself right onto his feet, cutting his arms off to the sides as he motions to the crowd that this is about to end! The fans pick up as they smell the blood in the water!
CENTURION GRABS BETSY BY THE ANKLES AS HE TRIES TO ROLL HER OVER!
JC: Centurion looking to lock in the Fall of Rome! That Boston Crab that's ended so many people before in this company!
JR: Look at Betsy, though! She's trying to fight it!
Betsy is fighting! Clawing! Trying everything to prevent Cent from rolling her over! It's a tug-of-war right now for control as Centurion is slowly pushing her!
Betsy with a right hand to the skull! And another! And one right to the broken nose! Centurion stumbles as blood gushes out!
BETSY JERKS HER LEGS AROUND TO THROW CENTURION OFF OF HER!
JC: She's still surviving by the skin of her teeth!
1:42
1:41
1:40
WHAM! A solid right hand knocks Centurion back!
WHAM! He replies with a left uppercut right on Betsy's chin!
But Betsy replies with a roundhouse to the gut!
Centurion now with an overhand!
WHAM!
WHAM!
WHAM!
WHAM!
WHAM!
WHAM!
JC: These two are throwing mortars at each other right now! And the crowd can't get enough of it!
JR: I don't think they want this match to end any time soon, but the clock is ticking!
Betsy ducks underneath another right hand from Centurion! She hooks both arms and is into Full Nelson position!
JC: Betsy trying to end it with the Ich Muss Dich Brechen!
JR: Centurion wisely keeping his feet out wide in front, though!
There's a struggle for positioning! Cent's lanky legs are too far in front for Betsy to catch! He scrambles to the corner, climbing up the turnbuckles before pushing himself back on top of Betsy!
BUT HER SHOULDERS ARE DOWN! IT'S A PIN!
OOOOOOOONE!
TWOOOOOOOO!
KICKOUT!
JR: I thought he had it there!
JC: CLOSE, BUT NO CIGAR!
1:09
1:08
1:07
Both competitors come up to their feet as Centurion backs up off the ropes… ONLY FOR HIM TO DETONATE FORWARD WITH A BUISAKU KNEE!
JC: THAT'S THE BLOODY SYMPHONY!
JR: HE COULD END IT RIGHT NOW IF HE COVERS HER!
BUT CENTURION PICKS HIMSELF RIGHT BACK ONTO HIS FEET!
HE DOESN'T HESITATE AS HE GRABS BETSY BY THE ANKLES!
AND ROLLS HER OVER INTO THE FALL OF ROME!
JC: CENTER OF THE RING! NOWHERE TO GO!
JR: BETSY'S TRYING TO CLAW TO THE ROPES!
0:46
0:45
0:44
BETSY IS SCREAMING! SHE'S CLAWING AT THE MAT!
SHE'S PUSHING HER WAY FORWARD THROUGH ALL THE SWEAT AND TEARS IN HER EYES!
THE REFEREE IS ASKING HER IF SHE WANTS TO GIVE UP!
SHE'S SCREAMING RIGHT IN HIS FACE!
0:29
0:28
0:27
BETSY'S ONLY A FOOT AWAY FROM THE ROPES AND SHE'S GAINING GROUND!
BUT CENTURION SITS BACK IN THE HOLD EVEN FURTHER!
JC: BETSY MIGHT SERIOUSLY GET HERSELF HURT AT THIS RATE!
JR: THERE'S NO SHAME IN TRYING TO LIVE AND FIGHT ANOTHER DAY, BETSY!
BETSY SLOWLY HOVERS HER HAND OVER THE MAT…
0:21
0:20
0:19
AND SHE TAPS OUT!
Winner and STILL Television Champion: Centurion!
JC: You called it, Joe, we went right down to the wire! Very hard-fought victory here for Centurion who retains with less than half a minute to spare!
JR: And that's why he's the champ at the end of the day. Give Betsy credit where it's due, she pushed him to his limits out there. I thought we were about to see another draw for a second there.
JC: But Centurion is just able to close the deal!
Centurion slumps onto his back, his face a bloody, disfigured mess as he looks up at the lights. The referee drapes the Television title onto his chest, and Centurion simply lets himself sit at ease as he drinks in his own music.
Betsy lies prone in the middle of the ring, her body slowly rising and falling with her breath. Pain is very clearly wracked throughout her body, her face contorted in disgust at herself.
But the crowd doesn't hesitate to cheer for them both.
JC: Don't you turn away, folks! Warfare is set to continue to roll on, and we've got our March Madness tournament matches next!
Warfare fades out to commercial.
JC: And now, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the March Madness Quarter Finals. Nine competitors, four matches, and four very unique settings. We start by heading to a secretive vault on a deserted island. Our XWF camera drones have descended 50 feet into the ground into the infamous ‘Money Pit’, where two men will enter seeking treasure and glory, but only one will be able to emerge with a chance to become King of the XWF. These two men are in very similar positions, aren’t they Joe?
JR: That’s right, Jacuinde! Asher Hayes has found success everywhere he has gone, but the success gradient in the XWF is a steep one. Legends of this industry have struggled to break through in one of the most intensely competitive environments in professional wrestling. Where Asher will find himself in the storybook of the XWF is entirely up to him.
JC: He punched his ticket to the Quarter Finals with a win over Latoya Hixx and El Landerson, but the tournament only gets harder as you progress. Here he comes now, entering the Money Pit!
The opening riff to "Song for the Dead" by Queens of the Stone Age kicks in. At the 37 second mark, the name "Asher Hayes" blares through the PA system. Asher appears in the entranceway to the pit, lit by candles. He has already cast aside his jacket, but before stepping onto the fighting grounds he bows down for a few moments. Eventually, he jerks up straight and throws both fists into the air.
“It's late enough to go driving
And see what's mine
Life's the study of dying
How to do it right"
There is no ramp to walk down, ring to pose in, or crowd to engage with. Asher instead remains focused as his music subsides.
JC: Asher Hayes looks ready to go, but he’s not the only one with a chance to make history!
JR: John Blade is a notorious competitor who is always full of energy and never short of something to say. Like Asher, he’s coming to the XWF with experience wrestling across the world. These are not rookies to the world of professional wrestling, but also like Asher, this is only his second match here. To succeed in March Madness and win the King of the XWF crown, he’s going to have to figure out the lay of the land quick.
JC: John Blade defeated Razor Blade and XWF’s extreme icon Barney Green in the opening round. Can he make it two from two? We’re about to find out!
“The Time is Now” hits as John Blade walks out from the same narrow entranceway that Asher Hayes did. The camera drone flies in his face, and he talks to it a little while bouncing on the spot. John holds up his “Never Give Up” logo flag and then tosses it to the side where it falls into the pit. He salutes and runs straight down the short distance towards where Asher waits. Tossing away his hat and shirt, he hands his chain to the ref who pockets it.
Both men take a moment to glance at their surroundings.
They stand on an elevated platform patterned like a spider-web, underneath a statue that a long-dead Italian merchant built in devotion to himself. Around the platform, there is a wide, uncrossable chasm before the walls. Water cascades down the gap into the deep abyss of certain death below.
JC: Ladies and gentlemen! The quarter finals of March Madness START NOW!
Money Pit
ROUND TWO
Asher Hayes
- vs -
John Blade One Fall
Victory can be obtained by Pinfall, Submission, KO, or Ring-Out!
Hayes and Blade begin to circle each other, neither being quick to act.
JC: A cautious start here for both men, and I can't say that I blame them.
JR: Nor I. This is not just our first March Madness quarter final of the night. It’s also both men’s second match here in the XWF. Neither is a rookie, so they know the effect just one slip up can have.
JC: I’d have to imagine that here in the Money Pit, one slip up could have even worse consequences—like death![white]
Blade is the first to move, feinting towards Hayes’s left. Steely-eyed, Asher doesn't flinch. Blade goes again, moving to Asher’s right this time. It's not a feint! He swings a fist to test Asher's reactions, but Asher passes the test with flying colors!
He ducks under! Blade turns around and… SPEAR!
[white]JC: Holy hell! It's over just like that!
Asher covers!
1!
2!
John Blade powers out!
A wild grin comes over Hayes’s face as he pursues John Blade.
Blade, shocked at his opponent's early explosiveness, pushed to his feet.
Hayes is right there firing off fists that keeps Blade reeling. Blade covers up to protect himself, and Hayes gives him a moment of reprieve. But as soon as Blade's hands drop, Hayes is right back at it! He floors John Blade with a lariat takedown and goes right back into another cover!
1!
2!
Again, Blade powers out.
JC: Asher Hayes seems intent on ending this one quickly!
Hayes pulls Blade to his feet, but John Blade still has the wherewithal to shove his foe back.
Hayes presses again, locking Blade in a headlock, but after an early struggle Blade manages to drive his elbow into Asher's abdomen. A few more strikes frees Hayes's grip and when Asher tries once more to press the advantage, Blade quickly slides down into a drop toe hold.
Hayes hits the ground and a strange CLICK can be heard.
Hayes and Blade both look confused.
Suddenly, a series of arrows lets loose right at where Hayes is lying!
He rolls out of the way just in time!
JC: What the hell was that?! This stage wasn't supposed to have any hazards! …aside from falling.
JR: This pit is a vault where an old rich asshole kept all of his treasure. Do you really think that it wouldn't have booby traps? All the rich assholes I know have booby traps!
JC: Even the Trillionaires?
JR: They're not assholes! …but yes. It's called the terms and conditions of their services.
JC: Okay, that’s fair. I'm pretty sure this isn't how this stage works in the game though…
Fuming from almost being riddled with arrows, Hayes squares off with Blade once more.
They lock up, and though Hayes has a slight height and reach advantage, the power of John Blade overwhelms him. Quickly, Blade elbows him in the neck and then follows it up with a clubbing blow to Hayes's back. He flips him over with a gutwrench slam and then mounts, driving unprotected punches down into Hayes's head.
Satisfied with his damage, he dismounts and begins to stalk Asher Hayes who sways as he stands.
Spin out powerbomb!
Blade stands over a fallen Hayes and poses for a crowd that… isn't in the Money Pit.
A crowd, somewhere, responds anyway!
“U CAN'T SEE ME!”
JR: Wait… where did he go?!
JC rolls his eyes as John Blade—very much visible—takes a few steps back and dusts off his shoulder to hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle.
CLICK!
Confused, Blade stops.
Suddenly his eyes widen and he ducks just in time to avoid a giant ball of spikes careening into his face!
JC: Oh my god! Did we really have to put two of our newest stars in a position where they might not even get another match?
JR: This is a VAULT. What part of that are you not getting?
JC: The part where it might cost someone their life!
JR: It’s like Adam Smith, JC, “steal from the poor because if you steal from the rich you'll get killed.”
JC: …I don't think he said that but it sounds plausible enough in this economy that I can't really argue it.
JR: Jamie looked it up, so it's legit.
With Blade distracted by the near-death experience, Hayes strikes again and rolls him up from behind.
1!
2!
Blade kicks out, but the frustration on his face at Hayes's repeated pitfalls is clear.
He slugs Hayes as they both rise, but Hayes socks him right back. The two begin to exchange punches and that same non-present crowd begins to chant with each punch.
“Boo! Yeah! Boo! Yeah!”
The inane audience is interrupted by another CLICK.
Neither Hayes nor Blade even breaks their stride as they separate and let a giant wooden beam swing down between them. They just get right back to it, trading punches out of the beam's way.
Eventually the exchange starts going Blade's way but Asher stomps on Blade's foot and takes control with a hammerlock. Blade struggles against it but eventually manages to power out and turn it around into his own hammerlock. Before he can get it cinched in, Hayes drops to a knee and flips Blade over. He grabs Blade by the wrist and spins him into a short-arm lariat.
Blade rises and gets trapped straight into an STO!
JC: AGAIN a cover by Asher Hayes!
1!
2!
Blade rolls a shoulder!
Asher Hayes hits the mat, half in frustration and half to psych himself up for a new strategy.
He grabs Blade's legs and steps over them with his own, wrapping around them. Blade fights back but Hayes continues trying to muscle him over.
JC: He’s got him! He’s got him over! Dream Killer!
JR: John Blade’s dreams of being King of the XWF are being killed right before our eyes!
Blade still has enough in him to fight and even though Hayes gets him over, Blade powers his legs down and frees himself before Hayes's version of the Edgecator can be fully locked in.
Hayes stumbles forward. He turns.
Blade snaps him over his shoulders for the Death Valley Drop!
But Hayes wiggles his way down and behind Blade.
Another roll up!
1–no!
Blade keeps rolling!
He pops up and drives an elbow into Hayes's neck again! And again! And again!
Hayes is vulnerable!
Trying to get up, he's met with a running neck snap.
John Blade makes the cover!
1!
2!
Asher Hayes kicks out!
Blade is waiting for him when he gets up.
Vertical suplex!
Blade floats over when they hit the ground.
1!
2!
Hayes kicks out again!
JC: This action is really picking up now!
Emerald flowsion from John Blade to Asher Hayes!
Another cover!
1!
2!
Kick out!
JC: All the momentum that Asher Hayes built early on has been absolutely turned on its head by The Surgeon of Thugs!
JR: So is he a surgeon who is a thug or a surgeon who performs exclusively on thugs? Or is he just in the T.H.U.G.s employment or something?
JC: Yes.
John Blade lines Asher Hayes up and hoists him onto his shoulder.
JC: Death Valley Drop time!
With Blade holding Hayes in a fireman's carry position, there's suddenly another CLICK!
Blade drops Hayes backwards, not trying to hit his finisher and instead just getting out of the way of slicing blades that shoot across the room. They barely miss Asher Hayes as he falls.
But, as has been the case many times now, the booby traps breaks up the momentum one of the competitors was trying to build, and this time it gives Asher Hayes the chance to shoot in on John Blade.
Falcon arrow!
Cover!
1!
2!
2.5!
Blade just kicks out!
But Asher Hayes is already lining him up!
JC: This is looking like déjà vu… SPEAR!
Hayes charges, but unlike with his opening gambit, John Blade manages to jump over him.
Asher Hayes pulls back at the last minute to avoid toppling off the edge of the platform!
But he's quickly hit with a running leaping shoulder block that drops him to the ground!
And a second for good measure!
Spin out powerbomb once again!
“U CAN'T SEE ME!”
He hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle!
John Blade then puts Asher Hayes on his shoulders!
JC: He's going to Death Valley Drop him off the platform and into the darkness below!
Hayes struggles! He hits Blade with elbow after elbow! Blade loosens up enough for Hayes to drop down behind him!
Hayes snaps him up into a suplex position but holds him in the air before swinging him down into a side slam!
JC: That's it! That's the Breakdown! The new move that Asher Hayes hyped this week!
Asher Hayes makes the cover.
1!
2!
3!
Winner and Advancing to the March Madness Semifinal: Asher Hayes
[/b]
JC: After a valiant fight from fellow newcomerJohn Blade, Asher Hayes eventually put him down to move on to the semi-finals of March Madness!
JR: Leading up to this match, he made it clear he wanted to test himself against the best competition the XWF has to offer! No matter how the rest of the night plays out, that's exactly what he's going to get next!
JC: Ladies and gentlemen, the March Madness Quarterfinals continue now! We are not in an arena tonight—we are on the open ocean on the very deck of a pirate vessel!
JR: I’ve done a lot of weird shows, Jacuinde… but fighting a 63-year-old man on a pirate ship chasing cursed treasure? This is up there.
[b]“When greed summons warriors to the edge of the abyss… destiny sharpens its blade!”
JC: …And apparently destiny is also on commentary tonight.
The show is quickly interrupted by the sound of a distant synthesizer, followed up by horses neighing and galloping through the dirt. It fades out, leading into the riff of a guitar strumming a fiery tune. There's an inherent electricity building within the air of the high seas, culminating as the drums kick in. As they do, the steadfast figure of Scoops McGee comes out onto the deck, a look of no nonsense etched onto his face as he takes a long look at the crowd and the pirate ship.
JC: There he is! Scoops McGee! After coming just inches away at Snow Pain, Snow Gain from the Universal title, the man they once called “Psycho Terror” puts on his cowboy boots and climbs the mountain of destiny!
JR: He managed to narrowly beat two very game competitors in Yelena Gorgo and Sebastian Everett-Bryce… And by that, I mean, Scoops stood by while Gorgo eliminated SEB and then got lucky!
JC: Absolutely untrue, Joe! Scoops earned that victory by meeting the moment! By putting on yet another incredible performance! Somehow, some way, the sestogenarian grappler keeps pulling out even more impressive performances! He continues to rise to the occasion in the hunt for the first ever world title in his storied career!
JR: But tonight, the storybook journey has a tragic ending, Jacuinde! Because someone wrote in the margins of this fairytale. And they wrote an ugly truth!![w/hite]
Scoops nods, steadily walking to the center of the deck and absentmindedly high-fiving any fans or… pirates… or pirate ghosts? stretching out their hands who happen to be right in his way. He makes his way over to ringside, climbing up the steps of the ship methodically and stepping onto the deck. He saunters aboutn, taking one last long look at the crowd as they give their reception to the seasoned vet. Scoops stretches his arms out wide, accepting everything they've got to give before slamming his forearm against his palm.
Scoops skulks over to his corner, pacing there and doing some small stretches to keep himself warmed up before the match begins.
…
[yputube]N2fwUbvDI_s[/youtube]
The opening riff of The hangman's body count by Volbeat starts to play throughout the Pirate Ship as the lights dim. Several red and purple laser lights envelope the stage as Matthias Syn casually walks through the curtain. As he steps onto the stage, he stops and acknowledges those in attendance by stretching both arms forward while touching his balled up fists together.
[white]JC: We’ve seen vignettes hinting his return! We even saw him declare for March Madness! But I genuinely cannot believe Matthias Syn is finally back!
JR: The Syn City Saint! He made it last year to the Final Four of March Madness! And this year, he’s only looked more dominant! He shredded one more opponent than everyone else in the first round! He beat Mister Oz AND both Bing Bong Twinzz!
JC: I said it last Warfare, Matthias Syn is a big-match competitor! The opportunity to strike down someone celebrated gives him an extra bit of gas… He loves beating someone that the world lifts on high… revealing them as phony! The only issue here is… Scoops is the Real Deal!
JR: We’ll see about that, won’t we, Jacuinde? The Matthias Syn Revolution WILL NOT BE STOPPED!
After several seconds he begins to nonchalantly walk down the road toward the mast, not allowing the fans slash pirate ghosts to touch him. He slides over the gate onto the deck, jumps to his feet and poses. He takes off his red leather shearling coat, hands it to a ring crew ghost and leans against the mast…
…
The deck of the pirate ship creaks violently as waves slam against the hull. Lanterns sway from their hooks. Salt spray lashes the planks. In the distance, jagged rocks jut out from the Dubai coastline like teeth waiting to bite down on any foolish sailor.
Two men stand where a ring might normally be… but tonight there are no ropes, no apron, no safety net. Only slick planks, mast rigging, and the endless sea below.
Matthias Syn and Scoops McGee circle.
The wind howls. (The Pirate battle equivalent of a bell ringing).
Pirate Raid
ROUND TWO
Scoops McGee
- vs -
Matthias Syn One Fall
Victory can be obtained by Pinfall, Submission, KO, or Ring-Out!
Stage Hazard - WIND AND STORMY WATERS
HIGHLIGHT REEL
Syn’s lips curl into a smug grin, his eyes flicking around the deck with theatrical curiosity — as if admiring the chaos of the setting.
Scoops squints at him with open irritation, jaw grinding like a rusted gear.
Syn mockingly wipes imaginary sea spray from his shoulder… and casually flicks it toward Scoops.
JC: Ooooh, Syn showing no respect for Scoops McGee! Nor did he when he brought up Scoops’ failings as a father in his promo leading up to this match!
JR: Why the Hell would he? Do you think a revolutionary should respect the old man rigidly upholding the status quo? Syn isn’t here to bow down to the structure, he’s here to TOPPLE IT!
Scoops’ nostrils flare, but he doesn’t react as Syn grins…
Suddenly! Syn surges forward! Right h-
WHAM! Scoops catches Syn under the chin with a right uppercut!
Syn’s head snaps sideways as the blow echoes across the deck.
JC: WOW! Syn tries to bait Scoops into a rage, but Scoops is measured! Firing off a right hand with impeccable timing!
Syn staggers three steps across the planks, blinking rapidly, his smirk gone…
Scoops steps forward warily, looking for a grapple…
But Syn side-steps… and delivers a low kick to Scoops’ calf!
Scoops drops to one knee, cradling his leg!
JC: Oooof! Underhanded strike by Matthias Syn!
JR: Sorry if the revolutionaries don’t play by the rules set up by those that benefit from them AND barely follow them themselves, Jacuinde!
JC: …Joe, I feel like you’re painting Scoops like he’s some corporate elite. Isn’t he a farmer?
JR: SEMANTICS!
Scoops tries to rise up… but ends up back on one knee, face seething in pain… The official goes to check on h-
Syn suddenly springs forward with a Step-Up Enzuigiri!
His boot whips across Scoops’ temple!
Scoops stumbles sideways, grabbing a rope line tied to the mast to steady himself.
JR: Syn answers right back with that lightning quick offense!
JC: What the Hell?!? The official was trying to check if Scoops can even compete in this match!
JR: Well, he should have done it QUICKER than lightning quick, Jacuinde!
[/b]
Scoops shakes his head slowly, the old veteran’s expression turning sour and ornery, as Syn scoops him off the deck by the scruff of McGee’s neck…
Syn delivers a… European Uppercut! Driving McGee’s skull back…
…But McGee keeps his footing…
Syn backs up to the edge of the ship… He goes to follow it up with a…
Running boot!
…
But Scoops side-steps! As Syn whirs by, Scoops grabs Syn by the collar and yanks him in close…
CATTLE PROD! CATTLE PROD TO THE JAW!
Syn collapses to a knee instantly, clutching his jaw.
JR: Oh my GOD, that sounded like a thunder clap even from here, Jacuinde!
JC: Scoops is clearly eager to get this match wrapped and get off this ship quickly… this ship is aimed for the Strait of Hormuz!
Scoops surges forward, grabbing Syn by the skull, driving his hip into Syn’s gut…
Scoops latches on with a front facelock…
Looking for a…
VERTICAL SUPLEX!
…
But Syn flips over McGee with the lift, landing on his feet with his back towards McGee’s!
McGee spins around…
…Just in time for Syn to tear off a…
PELE KICK!
Syn’s heel smashing into Scoops’ chin!
JC: Holy cow! We’ve seen Syn’s explosive offense before, but has it ever looked this… crisp? This absolutely seamless in execution?
JR: Syn
Scoops reels backward into the mast, looking woozy…
But Syn doesn’t give him even a moment to recover… The Syn City Saint sprints across the deck…
Scoops, working off instinct, raises his guard, ready for a strike!
But Syn suddenly jukes right! Scoops drops his guard perplexed… As Matthis rebounds off a crate by the mast…
FLYING LEG LARIAT!
Both men crash onto the planks.
[white]JC: Wow! Syn using this very unconventional environment beautifully to his advantage in the early-going!
Scoops rolls onto his side, grimacing… but the pain only seems to irritate him further.
He pushes himself upright with a grunt.
Syn rises too, bouncing on his feet, cocky grin returning.
Syn theatrically bows.
Scoops scowls.
JC: Syn is an irritant! He thrives when he can tap into the energy of a frustrated opponent!
JR: And Scoops McGee has a lifetime of frustration! Of never winning the big one! Of never being enough! Of never being able to get those damn kids not to play on his lawn!
Scoops surges forward, looking for another…
CATTLE PROD!
…But this time Syn sees it coming! He goes for an arm trap wrist lock, twisting Scoops, trying to drive him down against the deck!
JC: Oh wow! Syn might be going for a SYNTheory early! Scoops is dealing with an injured wrist, that is NOT where McGee wants to be!
Syn sneers sadistically as he bullies Scoops into position…
When Scoops suddenly twists backwards out of Syn’s grip, catching Syn from behind! In a flash, Scoops hooks Syn’s waist—
BACK SUPLEX!
Syn crashes violently against the wet planks.
The ship rocks.
Syn writhes.
JC: The veteran reminding Syn that fundamentals still matter!
JR: But how close did Syn just come to the victory there, Jacuinde! It’s only a matter of time! How many more counters does Scoops have in his bag? And I don’t mean in this match, I mean, in his old, decrepit body!
Scoops bends over Syn
He grabs Scoops’ leg as the veteran tries to pull him up.
Syn spins on his back—
Dragon Screw into a SPINNING TOE HOLD!
Scoops yells as his knee twists violently.
JC: Oh my! Syn is locking to really test Scoops’ joints, one by one, seeing which one might break!
JC: Like someone trying to win a game of wishbone with themselves, Jacuinde! Syn’s wish is becoming Universal Champion and he knows it’ll come true if he SNAPS McGee’s knee in half!
Scoops claws at the deck, veins bulging in his neck as he fights the torque.
Syn leans forward, eager to apply additional torque to Scoops’ leg…
But as Syn draws closer, Scoops summons the wherewithal to boot Syn in the face!
TWICE
THREE TIMES! And this time, Syn staggers backwards, releasing the hold!
Both men rise slowly.
The ship tilts with a crashing wave.
They instinctively grab opposite sides of the mast to keep balance.
For a moment… they just glare.
Syn wipes blood from his lip.
Scoops cracks his knuckles.
Syn suddenly laughs.
Scoops charges…
But Syn turns sideways, ready to deliver a decapitating…
SUPERKICK!
…
But Scoops ducks under!
JR: Wow! I didn’t Scoops could still pull a counter that quick!
JC: Shades of his prime in Japan, Joe! Battling Shimizu Kenji in Korakuen Hall! Scoops McGee is winding back the clock one more time…
He grabs Syn by the back of the head.
REVERSE DDT!
Syn spikes into the wood.
JC: My goodness! Scoops planted him!
Scoops covers.
A soaked pirate referee slides in.
ONE!
TWO!
THRE-NO! SYN KICKS OUT!
JC: Nearfall! Scoops McGee almost had Syn there!
JR: But with every move Syn survives, Scoops loses a little bit more energy, a little bit more grit! It’s a war of attrition here on the High Seas and it’s one Syn is destined to win! Did you know this is Syn’s thirty-third match in the XWF?
JC: …Is that true?
JR: …Well, no, it’s his 31st. BUT! If he wins tonight AND in the semifinals at March Madness… his 33rd match in his XWF career will be with KING OF THE XWF ON THE LINE!
JC: …Okay? Neat coincidence?
JR: CALL THE VATICAN!
Scoops exhales as he bends over one knee to grapple Syn back up to a vertical base… but the Syn City Saint rolls away, breathing hard, frustration etched across his face.
Scoops pushes up slowly, clearly already feeling the early fatigue.
JC: That might be the biggest early difference here… Scoops cannot afford a long match tonight.
JR: It’s out of Scoops’ hands now, Jacuinde! Syn fights like a man driven not by the function of his lungs and the breathing of his heart, but by the spirit of Revolution itself! Scoops is a man, Syn IS CHANGE PERSONIFIED!
Scoops, breathing heavily, forces himself forward to attack Syn…
But Syn leapfrogs over Scoops… and using his forward momentum!
Syn suddenly sprints up the rigging rope attached to the mast, behind Scoops!
JC: WAIT! Where is he going?!
He climbs a good eight feet up the mast, balancing against the sail beam.
Scoops turns around…
As Syn backflips off!
[b]“Behold! The warrior who dares the heavens themselves!”
DIVING CROSSBODY!
AND BOTH COMPETITORS CRASH DOWN ONTO THE DECK! IMMOBILE!
JC: Holy SHIT! What a move by Matthias Syn! I think he forgot, even if he pulls off the win here, he’s got two more rounds to go! He almost sacrificed himself to take out Scoops!
Syn exhaustedly manages to lift his head off the deck.. His face twisted in a spent but elated sneer… as he turns himself over on top of Scoops…
ONE!
TWO!
THREEEEE-NOOOOOOOOOOO! SCOOPS FORCES A SHOULDER OFF THE MAT!
Syn’s eyes go wide! He thought that was it for sure!
JR: HOW IN THE HELL?!?
JC: Scoops’ hopes and dreams for the Universal title live on!
[/b]
Syn peels an exhausted Scoops off the deck… He pulls him backward into a Guillotine choke… Looking for a…
SYNTHESIS!
…But Scoops twists around… He heaves Syn off his feet!
BACK BODY DROP!
…But Syn lands on his feet! He spins around…
RIGHT INTO A CATTLE PROD FROM SCOOPS MCGEE!
JC: Another Cattle Prod! And this one caught Syn right in the breadbasket! He’s gonna have a hard time prattling about his Revolution after that one!
Syn drops to his knees.
Scoops’ eyes light up.
He hooks Syn’s head—
JC: OH MY! Could he already be looking for the BIG SCOOP?!
Scoops tries to lift him for the Scoop Slam Piledriver—
But Syn’s eyes suddenly snap open.
With pure survival instinct—
He explodes upward with a HIGH KNEE straight into Scoops’ face!
Scoops collapses backward against the mast.
Syn staggers up on jelly legs.
Then charges—
RUNNING SOMERSAULT NECKBREAKER!
Scoops crashes to the deck.
JR: That’s gotta do it right there!
Syn scrambles into a quick pin!
ONE!
TWO!
THREEEEEE-NO! AGAIN, SCOOPS MCGEE KICKS OUT!
Both men roll apart, breathing heavily.
Salt spray crashes across the deck again.
Lantern light flickers across their exhausted faces.
Syn rises first, hair whipping wildly in the sea wind.
Scoops pulls himself up slower… gripping his aching ribs.
They stare each other down once more.
JC: Neither man willing to yield!
JR: And we’re just getting started, man. These guys are gonna kill each other before this ship even reaches shore.
[b]“Two warriors now sail the storm of destiny… but only one shall claim the horizon of glory!”
The ship creaks violently as another massive wave slams the hull.
[/b]
Syn darts in low, frustration flashing across his face as he lashes out with a Superkick aimed at Scoops’ jaw!
But Scoops’ eyes widen in stubborn defiance — the veteran jerks his head aside at the last possible second and snatches Syn’s leg out of the air!
JC: What reflexes by Scoops McGee! He caught the Superkick!
Syn’s expression instantly turns from confidence to alarm as he hops on one leg, trying to keep his balance on the wet deck.
Scoops snarls — and spins—
DRAGON SCREW!
Syn’s knee twists violently as he crashes onto the planks!
JR: Oh man! Scoops just returned the favor on that knee!
Syn grabs his leg instinctively, teeth clenched in pain… but rage quickly replaces the pain.
Scoops stalks forward, sensing blood in the water.
He reaches down, hauling Syn up by the wrist—
But Syn’s eyes suddenly sharpen.
Syn drops his weight and yanks Scoops forward, using the veteran’s own momentum to sling him chest-first into the mast!
Scoops crashes against the wood with a dull THUD!
JC: Counter! Syn used Scoops’ strength against him!
Scoops reels backward—
Right into Syn’s waiting arms!
Syn hooks him around the waist!
GERMAN SUPLEX—
But Scoops plants his boots wide!
The old veteran’s face twists with stubborn refusal as he throws violent elbows backward into Syn’s temple.
Syn’s grip loosens—
Scoops spins around!
LARIAT—
Syn ducks!
Syn rebounds off the mast—
STEP-UP ENZUIGIRI!
His boot cracks across Scoops’ temple!
Scoops staggers!
Syn grabs him—
SWINGING SNAP DDT—
NO!
Scoops shoves him away mid-spin!
Syn stumbles toward the edge of the deck, barely catching himself on a rope line before going overboard.
JC: This is chaos! Neither man can string together the finishing blow!
Syn pulls himself back onto the deck, hair whipping wildly in the storm wind.
Scoops charges him the moment his boots touch the planks—
But Syn suddenly leaps forward with a LEAPING TORNADO DDT!
Scoops instinctively blocks it!
The veteran catches Syn mid-rotation and muscles him upward—
JR: OH MY GOD!
BACK SUPLEX ATTEMPT—
But Syn flips out again!
Both men stagger apart from the impact.
They turn back toward each other instantly.
Scoops’ chest heaves violently now.
Syn wipes blood from his lip again.
Their eyes lock.
JC: This has become a battle of pure instinct! Every move is being countered!
[b]“Two blades clash upon the storm-tossed sea… each seeking the single moment where destiny falters!”
Syn lunges first!
He hooks Scoops’ arm — twisting for a SATELLITE SHOULDER HOLD!
Scoops grunts in pain—
But he suddenly powers forward instead of resisting!
He lifts Syn clean off the deck—
ATOMIC DROP!
Syn’s eyes bulge as he bounces awkwardly off Scoops’ knee.
Scoops grabs him—
DDT—
Syn blocks!
He shoves Scoops backward—
SUPERKICK!
Scoops barely ducks again!
Scoops grabs Syn around the waist—
BACKSIDE DRIVER—
Syn wriggles free!
Both men spin—
Scoops swings for another CATTLE PROD!
Syn catches the arm!
Syn twists behind him—
TIGER SUPLEX ATTEMPT!
Scoops throws his weight forward desperately to block it!
They stumble across the slick deck… boots sliding against the soaked planks as the ship rocks violently beneath them. Off in the distance, sirens blare as a massive wave begins to take form- accelerating forward at violent speeds.
Neither man has control.
Both are fighting for it.
Scoops hooks Syn’s head as the wave in the distance draws nearer.
Syn traps Scoops’ arm as the rushing winds roar louder.
Each man trying to force the other into position—
As a tremendously violent wave suddenly ROCKS the pirate ship, rising from the depths of the ocean like the hand of Poseidon!
The ocean fell upon the ship with swift determination, crashing into the wooden deck and tearing through the fabric sails! The raging sea tore Syn and Scoops from their footing like toys swept from a table!
JC: BY GAWD! Someone needs to stop this damn match! These boys have wound up in the middle of a damn tsunami!
JR: That’s what March Madness is all about! Rip-roaring circumstances, great comebacks, and yes, sometimes, NATURAL DISASTERS IN INTERNATIONAL WATERS!
Matthias Syn was hurled across the deck, crashing through the shattered rail as the massive wave plunged him into the watery darkness below. Scoops McGee was dragged beneath the churning flood as it roared across the ship, rolling him like driftwood through splintered beams and snagging ropes…ropes that Scoops held onto for dear life!
JR: That massive wave just ripped Syn from the deck!
JC: But Scoops is still hanging onto his dream by a thread!
As the wave finally passes, the ship comes out looking much worse for wear on the other side. The sails are missing, the deck has been completely ripped apart…and only one competitor remains aboard.
SCOOPS pulls himself back to deck, carefully lifting his body up a frail rope connected to the ship’s downed mast!
Winner by Ring Out and Advancing in the March Madness Semi-Final - Scoops McGee
Scoops McGee raises his hands in victory before collapsing to his knees in exhaustion. The battle against Matthias Syn had taken almost everything out of him, but Scoops released a sigh of relief as he clinched his spot in the semi-finals.
JC: Scoops survives! Scoops advances!
JR: Scoops’ wave of momentum carries on! But I have to say, Matthias Syn almost had him! If it hadn’t been for that massive wave, I don’t think Scoops would have made it to the semi-finals!
JC: And if a frog had wings it could fly, but now, there’s nothing hypothetical about it! The dream of Scoops McGee lives on!
JR: But uh…where the hell is Matthias Syn?
Rescue boats from the gulf states come flying into screen with their sirens blaring and their lights flashing, trying to locate the overboard wrestler.
JC: We had better cut to a commercial break!
JR: Folks, don’t go anywhere- cause we’ll be right back with more X-treme Madness action right after this!
[/b]
JC: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the March Madness Quarterfinals! We are not inside a wrestling ring tonight — we are inside Ivy Valentine’s Prague residence from Soul Calibur V!
JR: Look at this place! Ancient statues, weird science equipment, creepy mirrors — this feels like the kind of house where a wizard kidnaps you and steals your spine.
"Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment plays as Jenny Myst makes her way to the ring.
The lights drop hard.
A low pink glow bleeds across the arena as the opening pulse of “Sex Metal Barbie” hits—industrial, predatory, unmistakable. The crowd reaction swells immediately, a mix of boos, awe, and uneasy anticipation, because everyone knows what that song means.
Then she steps through the curtain.
Jenny Myst doesn’t rush. She arrives.
Leather gleams under the lights as she pauses at the top of the ramp, chin tilted slightly upward, eyes scanning the crowd like she’s counting debts. The X-Division Championship, Mortimer, rests over her shoulder—not displayed, not flaunted—carried like a weapon she’s already used tonight. Her expression is calm, almost bored, but there’s cruelty sitting just beneath it, coiled and patient.
On the second beat drop, she rolls her shoulders and starts down the ramp with deliberate, confident strides. Each step syncs with the rhythm—measured, heavy, inevitable. She ignores the fans reaching out, the insults, the chants. Their noise doesn’t register. This isn’t their moment. It’s hers.
Halfway down, Jenny stops.
JR: Jenny Myst pulled off an incredible performance against Game Girl last Warfare!
JC: It was a controversial victory, one that involved Myst and Game Girl both claiming credit for knocking out Deena Hixx… And then Deena tried to re-enter the match and ambushed Game Girl, which gave Jenny Myst the opportunity to strike and seal the win!
JR: You talk like it was all random chance, but it wasn’t, Jacuinde! It was all according to Jenny Myst’s master plan! She controls the horizontal and the vertical! SHE is the master of her destiny! It’s Jenny Myst’s world, baby! We’re all just living in it!
She turns slowly, eyes locking with the hard camera, and smirks—not playful, not charming, but sharp. A reminder. She lifts Mortimer just enough for the gold to catch the light, mouthing a few words only the camera gets: mine. Then she lets the title fall back against her shoulder like it belongs there… because it does.
As she saunters down the steps of the Prague Residence, she wipes her boots on each step with exaggerated care before stepping up, climbing to the second floor with smooth precision. No wasted movement. No nerves. Inside the ring, she walks straight to the center, turning once more as the music continues to snarl through the residence.
The music fades.
[b]”And suddenly, the Prague Residence feels smaller.”
…
…
The lights die without warning. Not a fade, but a full blackout that sucks the air out of the arena like the calm before a fire. Then, a strobing light, lime green, flares beneath the metal of the floor. Another, quicker and sharper. A third, holding longer now. Long enough for the crowd to catch a glimpse of the static forming on the screen overhead.
The distorted bass of “DEATHLIST” by Code: Pandorum and GHØSTKID blares across the arena’s speaker system low, grinding and industrial. It doesn't start like music, but more like a warning. Like the hum of something broken beneath concrete.The speakers rattle, and with them the crowd begins to stir as the opening continues to play, rhythmic and angry. Noise from the crowd rolls through like a cold draft in a sealed room, a few cheers, a few chants. But mostly unease.
[/b]
"Do I love you? Or do I hate you?
Can I trust you without failing you?
Gonna tell you what the secret is...
You're number one on my [b]DEATHLIST."[/b]
Whispered, the lyric doesn't rise above the crowd but cuts under it, precise and personal. The music drops out completely, not a fade, and not a glitch, just the same as the lights as they die out entirely. But then, detonation as the bass slams back in without warning, twisted and violent, louder than before. Strobe lights erupt in a manic wash of toxic green, casting sharp, flickering shadows across the sate. It's disorienting, like a spotlight wielded as a weapon. Motionless in that moment, Dickie Watson stands framed in light. No grand pose, no war cry, hair falling in his face and shoulders loose like man who doesn't need to prove he belongs here -- he already knows he does.
JC: Dickie Watson! A very recent former Universal champion! He looked absolutely dominant in his first round match against Apathy and Betsy Granger! Can he go the distance and become a two-time Universal champion?
JR: Dickie shouldn’t want to come NEAR the Universal title! He should be filing a restraining order! His career was going great before he fell ass backwards into that belt at War Games! Then, he and Scoops blow a handicap match against SEB… he loses a match against Kieran King and Centurion on Warfare… then, he loses a match with Charlie Nickles on the show before his first PPV defense! He loses the belt at Snow Pain, Snow Gain… and then immediately gets back to his winning ways!
JC: I think you’re oversimplifying it, Joe. Dickie is driven by the climb. The desire to ascend and prove he belongs at the top! While it’s true he had a rough go as Universal champion… that only drives his hunger to prove his championship reign wasn’t a fluke! He wants more than anything to climb back to the mountain’s peak and this time prove he has what it takes to remain on the top! But to do that, he’s gonna have to find a way past Jenny Myst!
JR: An IMPOSSIBLE task!
JC: Maybe… but Dickie’s pulled off impossible tasks before, Rogan!
He holds this, eyes floating over everyone, and then moves a beat later. Not with urgency, not with showmanship. Just steps forward like the rest of the world is moving slower than him. He doesn't look to the sides, doesn't soak it in. He's not here for the moment, he's here for the thrill. Every movement is precise, like a blade being unsheathed. Quiet, measured. He walks down the ramp towards the ring, eyes still glancing off to the side, turning his head slightly to acknowledge fans and enemies alike. At the barricade, he reaches out and slaps a few hands not necessarily out of respect, but more of [b]obligation. These are the people who kept him alive for so long, and what he does this for.
He rounds the corner to right, bypasses the steps, and jumps, both feet hitting the apron in one clean lift. Without grabbing the ropes, without pause, he slings himself over the top and lands near the dead center of the ring, bent knees taking the brunt of his leap. He circles the ring once, loose-limbed, cracking his neck slightly, and stops. Near the far corner, he crouches with his elbows on his knees, fingers dangling inbetween as his music fades.
…
Moonlight pours through stained windows and fractures across the mirrored statues of Wisdom and Art, scattering pale light across the improvised battlefield.
Between them stands Dickie Watson and Jenny Myst.
A wide stone hallway.
Ancient statues.
A railing that overlooks a long drop into the residence below.
No ropes.
No ring.
Just space… and consequences.
Before the match begins… Dickie rolls his shoulders, loose and relaxed despite the unfamiliar battlefield.
Jenny stands still.
Too still.
Her eyes roam the environment first… not Dickie.
JR: Jenny Myst doesn’t play by anybody’s rules but her own. She doesn’t care about being the best wrestler, she cares about breaking the system that deems itself fit to judge her!
JC: That’s all well and good, Joe… but she’s up against the man who takes any style and breaks it down to its base components… Who naturally frustrates everyone he comes across! Dickie Watson!
Myst’s eyes turn over the Prague ResidenceThe railings.
The corners.
The spacing between statues.
The distance to the edge.
Then her gaze finally lands on him.
She smiles.
“Two souls converge upon a battlefield where eternity watches. Let the dance of destiny begin!”
JR: I swear to God if that voice starts narrating my life I’m quitting the show.
JC: Joe, I still have no idea what voice you’re talking about.
A bell echoes through the vast halls of the Prague Residence — the chime reverberating across marble floors, alchemical apparatus, and towering statues locked forever in thorned embrace.
JC: …Sorry, was that the bell? It usually isn’t that haunting.
DING DING!
JC: Okay, no, *that* was the bell.
House of Valentine: Prague Residence
ROUND TWO
Dickie Watson
- vs -
Jenny Myst One Fall
Victory can be obtained by Pinfall, Submission, KO, or Ring-Out!
HIGHLIGHT REEL
The moment the bell rings, Jenny slowly shuffles…
Backing *away* from Dickie…
Toward the railing.
Dickie notices immediately.
His brow raises.
He follows…
JC: Jenny Myst immediately surveying the terrain here! Remember what makes this year’s tournament different from years in the past: Victory by Ring Out!
JR: In some sports, stepping out of bounds means stoppage. Here? It means your entire journey comes to a sudden, abrupt end!
JC: I think what’s most twisted is… Jenny might rather win by ring out than any other way! She gets a special thrill out of outwitting her opponents! She was even happy to have Game Girl defeat her at Snow Pain, Snow Gain… because it made keeping the X-Treme title out of her hands all the more delicious!
Finally, Jenny finishes her back-stepping, stopping near the edge… A drop-off from the second floor… to a black abyss below…
She gestures toward Dickie with a little “come here” wave.
Dickie sighs through his nose, half amused.
He steps forward cautiously, seeking to grapple up…
Jenny’s feet to move to counter his approach… but Jenny’s eyes seem more focused on Dickie’s footwork than his efforts to enter a collar and elbow…
Watching his footing.
Calculating distance.
Dickie notices that too.
His lips twitch as the two circle each other…
JR: Jenny, focused like a HAWK on her opponent’s weaknesses! She knows one wrong misstep will send Dickie out of the combat zone and out of the tournament!
Suddenly, Dickie bursts forward—
Jenny’s eyes widen slightly in anticipation…
Myst tries to read a clothesline or crossbody into a…
Back body drop!
JC: Jenny seems eager to try and win this showdown in one move!
—But! As Jenny goes to lift Dickie over her head and into the abyss, Dickie swings his weight down! Arm drag! Whipping Jenny back the other direction, away from the drop-off!
Jenny manages to somersault and keep a vertical base! She turns sharply, irritation flashing across her face.
JC: Dickie already disrupting Jenny’s plan!
JR: That’s the thing about puzzle solvers — if you’re unpredictable, you’re a nightmare.
[/b]
Jenny exhales slowly.
Composure returning.
Her eyes narrow.
Dickie stands relaxed… arms loose at his sides.
Her jaw tightens.
JC: Jenny is a troll… and ironically, Dickie remaining cool as a cucumber seems to frustrating her!
JR: You say troll like it’s a pejorative, Jacuinde! Jenny isn’t a troll, she’s a provocateur! She’s out here to reveal the XWF for what it is! She’s been around the world, dominated everywhere she’s gone, and come back here, ready to make it clear that she’s playing chess, while the rest of the XWF is playing duck, duck, goose!
Suddenly, Myst lunges forward with a Forearm Smash aimed for Watson’s jaw—
…But pivots aside and snatches her wrist— He hoists himself, wrapping his legs around her neck!
Headscissors takedown!
…
No!
Jenny flips across the marble and rolls smoothly to a knee.
Her face shows annoyance… but also interest.
Dickie shrugs playfully.
JR: See that? Do you call that getting mad? Jenny’s playing with Dickie! He thought he had control for half a second and Myst turned it into a gymnastics routine.
JC: These two are among the best in the XWF at counter-punching! At choosing the moment to strike their opponent in the middle of a move sequence and take them out in one move! I think these two people both realize how hard of a time they’re going to have frustrating an opponent as frustrating as… each other!
Jenny smirks.
She lunges again—
This time grabbing his head with a side headlock, twisting hard.
Dickie grimaces as pressure pulls his spine sideways, having to twist down and bend to Jenny’s five foot height…
Jenny drags him toward the railing.
Dickie’s eyes flick toward the drop.
Jenny notices.
Her grin widens.
She tries to legsweep him backward toward the edge—
But Dickie suddenly flips backward through the motion—
Hurricanrana counter!
Jenny tumbles across the floor, sliding dangerously close to a statue’s base.
JC: Incredible counter! Myst’s Plan A was drawing the action close to that drop-off… but live by the ring-out… maybe die by the ring-out! Dickie has managed to turn things around and now Myst looks dangerously close to the edge here!
Jenny pops up immediately, brushing hair from her face.
Her smile is thinner now.
She circles again.
Her mind clearly recalculating.
Dickie bounces lightly on his feet.
Jenny suddenly darts forward—
Thesz Press!
She tackles him to the marble floor!
JR: Never count out her XCellency! Jenny Myst is already X-Treme Royalty, being the Lady King of the XWF would just be another spoil of war for her Highness of Violence!
Her expression flashes savage satisfaction as she rains down a rapid barrage of closed fist punches toward his head… Eventually, she becomes dissatisfied with her fists and stands up to start stomping Dickie from above!
Dickie raises his forearms defensively, managing to withstand the blows… or at least prevent any clean shots from rocking him!
JR: Jenny is attacking Dickie like an attack dog out here!
Dickie reaches out for Jenny above him, looking for a judo roll throw to break her barrage…
But instead, Jenny grabs Dickie’s wrist and rolls sideways—
Crucifix Pin!
ONE!
T-Dickie kicks out at one!
Jenny rolls away with a sharp exhale of annoyance.
JC: Myst is looking at every opportunity to steal this victory/white]
[white]JR: Of course! Jenny Myst wants the quickest victory possible![ This tournament is only as much of a marathon as you’re willing to make it, Jacuinde! Everyone else is waging half-hour wars, only to face tougher opponents later… Jenny’s trying to conserve her energy to blow through the Final Four!
After another effort to grapple breaks down as the two each go for feints and counters, they both end up backward rolling a few feet apart…
JC: Haha, this is nuts, Joe! Both these two are ready to counter what they think the other is going to do!
Dickie rises slowly.
He wipes his lip with his thumb.
Jenny tilts her head… studying his breathing.
Her eyes flick to the railing again.
She lunges suddenly—
Grabbing his arm—
As her legs lift around his neck! Seeking a…
Tilt-a-whirl Headscissors!
Dickie spins violently—
Jenny tries to transition into an Inside Cradle near the edge—
But Dickie’s eyes widen in realization.
He plants his palm on the marble mid-rotation—
Cartwheels out, maintaining his footing!
As Myst starfish kips up to a vertical base, Dickie goes for a decapitating…
Spinning Roundhouse Kick!
…
But Jenny ducks just in time, the kick whistles past her nose.
JC: The speed is picking up!
JR: This is what happens when a strategist fights a survivor — nobody gets what they want!
Jenny’s eyes suddenly gleam.
She feints a strike—
Dickie raises his guard…
But instead she grapples him around the neck!
JC: She’s going for the Pink Perfection!
Dickie’s face flashes shock as she latches around his throat,
But mid-rotation Dickie hooks her arm—
Twisting sideways—
Tiger Suplex attempt!
Jenny’s eyes widen—
She stomps backward wildly—
Breaking his grip.
Both spring apart.
Breathing heavier now.
Their eyes lock.
They charge simultaneously—
Jenny throws a Forearm Smash—
Dickie fires an Open-handed Chop—
CRACK!
CRACK!
They both stagger a step.
JC: The match is turning physical now!
JR: Yeah because the chess game didn’t work! Now they’re just straight throwing hands!
Jenny grits her teeth.
Dickie smirks through the sting.
They move again—
Jenny goes low for a Legsweep—
Dickie leaps it—
Jenny spins up into a Chokehold STO attempt—
Dickie flips forward into a Sunset Flip!
Jenny rolls through—
Grabs his head—
Neck Wrench again!
Dickie drops to a knee—
Jenny drags him closer to the edge—
Her eyes flashing with ambition—
Dickie’s face tightens with determination—
He plants his foot—
Fires a Basement Dropkick to her knee!
Jenny stumbles sideways—
Barely stopping herself from colliding with the railing.
Both competitors freeze again.
Breathing hard.
Eyes locked.
“Two minds clash like twin blades upon the whetstone of fate… yet neither yields.”
JR: I swear that guy lives in the walls.
JC: Jenny Myst has thrown just about every trick in the book at Dickie Watson so far… and somehow he’s still standing!
JR: That’s the worst thing you can do to someone like Jenny — make them feel like their plan isn’t working. This has gone from two people trying to wrestle to a playground fight!
Dickie has Jenny in a side headlock, trying to convert into a Full nelson…
When Jenny twists out, and kicks off the wall!
The impact drives Dickie backward! But he clings onto Jenny!
Both skid across the marble floor!
JC: Jenny Myst using the environment itself as a weapon!
Jenny lands on her feet first.
Dickie stumbles back toward the railing—
Jenny’s eyes flash.
Opportunity.
She lunges forward—
Grabbing his head—
JC: Pink Perfection attempt again!
She spins—
Dickie fights the rotation—
Both of them twisting—
But Jenny suddenly changes direction mid-spin!
Instead of the DDT—
She shoves him sideways toward the edge!
Dickie stumbles—
His heel slips on the marble—
His arms pinwheel—
Jenny shoves him again!
Dickie’s eyes widen—
Too late.
His footing disappears.
And suddenly—
Dickie Watson falls over the side of the second floor drop!
JC: OH MY GOD!
JR: SHE DID IT! SHE RINGED HIM OUT! …Er, rang him out? Rung him out? WHATEVER! MYST DID IT!
Jenny stands frozen for half a second.
Then slowly…
She exhales.
Her shoulders relax.
A smug smile creeps across her face.
Jenny dusts her hands together.
Once.
Twice.
Satisfied.
She turns toward the hallway—
JR: That’s the brilliance of Jenny Myst! She doesn’t waste time! She doesn’t play hero! She finds the fastest path to vic-
SUDDENLY, A hand reaches over the edge GRABBING MYST’S ANKLE.
JR: HOLY SHIT!
JC: This one’s not over yet, folks!!
Jenny gasps as her leg gets yanked out from under her—
She crashes onto the marble floor!
Dickie’s exhausted face appears over the ledge—
Hair hanging in his eyes—
But he’s smiling.
Just barely.
Jenny claws at the marble trying to scramble away—
But Dickie pulls again—
Dragging her toward the drop.
Jenny grabs the base of the statue—
But Dickie plants a foot against the wall—
Heaves with everything left in him—
And yanks her clean over the railing.
Jenny’s scream echoes through the Prague Residence—
Then vanishes into the darkness below.
Silence.
Dickie hangs from the railing for a moment longer.
Then he pulls himself back onto the floor.
Collapsed on the marble.
Breathing hard.
“One who falls may yet rise… and in rising, cast down destiny itself.”
JR: THAT GUY DEFINITELY LIVES IN THE WALLS!
Dickie rolls onto his back, staring up at the vaulted ceiling.
He raises one tired fist in the air.
Winner and Advancing in the March Madness Semi-Final: Dickie Watson
JC: Jenny Myst thought she outsmarted Dickie Watson… but in the end, the survivor survived once again!
JR: …What a war! Myst came into this trying to figure out who Dickie Watson is… And I think Dickie Watson just showed her! Dickie Watson is, above all else, a man who survives! And he’s survived his way to the semi-finals of March Madness!
Green lasers scatter across the stage.
Graves steps through the curtain. His head tilts, his jaw clenches, and he just stands there long enough to make the crowd feel uncomfortable.
The drums kick in.
The lights sweep the arena in a blast of lime and purple.
Graves lazily starts down the ramp.
Fans reach out, but he pretends not to notice them.
The cameras catch quick cuts on the XTron of Graves smashing faces, laughing mid-beating, spraying mist, weapons, blood, ugly mayhem.
He reaches the ring. Stops. Looks around. Then he slides in under the ropes, stands up slow just as the song hits—
[b]♪ IT'S YOUR FUCKIN' NIGHTMARE ♪
Graves backs into his corner, sliding his cape off his shoulders tossing it aside.
He cracks his neck once and stares across the ring as the music fades.
The arena descends into a kaleidoscope of strobe lights of various colors, inducing feelings of disorientation and illness in everyone present as the unsettling beat of “SICKO” by Health and Godflesh starts to play. The main screens come alive with a montage of eerie imagery of death, graphic pornography, blood, surgical scenes, and occult imagery (see the video for SICKO for an idea of what you’re seeing), interspersed with the words “DO AS THOU WILT”, “SODOMIZE THE INNOCENT”, “DO CRIMES” and “BE EVIL” throughout the imagery almost like subliminal messaging.
Samael Dyson hits the stage, flanked by Kristoffer Arroyo and a score of his sack wearing Insignificants. He's wearing a wrestling singlet with images of various sex acts airbrushed onto it. He orders the Insignificants to lay down in front of him and he walks on them like a human bridge as he makes his way to the ring. He slides under the bottom rope as Kristoffer Arroyo stands at ringside. Sam then vigorously humps the canvas, screeching like a lunatic at the camera before getting to his feet and pacing the mat, muttering to himself and yelling at the fans in the front row.
The first, frenetic strums of Faith No More's "Gentle Art of Making Enemies" rips through the arena as strobes of gold and white cast across the stage and crowd. After several moments, and then a few more for good measure, Kieran King eventually saunters onto the stage, smugly mugging for the audience. In a flash, he sprints towards the ring and glides underneath the bottom rope - practically hovering off the mat. Keeping his momentum going, King darts towards the corner post and leaps towards the top. He crouches, and throws his arms up and back as if to backflip off the top... only to pull out at the last minute. He laughs at the crowd, mocking them as he settles in to some pre-fight stretches.
All three men glare at one another and a hush falls over the arena.
JR: Woooh! I’ve got chills! Pay-per-view feel here and you people at home are getting it for free on TV or X! The everything app. The Trillionaires are good to us, right Jacuinde?
JC: Correct me if I’m wrong, but this may be the first time in history that the Universal, Xtreme and Anarchy Champions have been in the same ring for the same fight, with two out of the three titles on the line. The crown on the line, Kieran King’s historic back-to-back-to-back March Madness run on the line!
JR: Mark my words, this is going to be a moment to remember. And win, lose or draw be damned these three men are a testament of how fucking good the XWF is. Three men with something to prove, three different ideologies clashing, three different styles but all have the same goal. Win that crown!
In an instant the ring lifts into the air, leaving behind the ropes and the crowd as they ascend through the stadium and into the night sky meeting the scaffolding of Village of the Wind.
[b] The wind kills the flame, but the soul still burns!
DING! DING! DING!
Before the bell rings Samael Dyson is on his way to Kieran and is immediately followed by Graves; King gets on the defense and his head turns to the quicker Dyson who lunges at King but Kieran manages to get a swift kick into Dyson’s jaw with an awful snap. Graves catches Kieran’s temple with a rough right hook which causes King to stumble.
Graves grabs King by the collar and reels back for a headbutt but Kieran deftly drives a thumb into Gravy’s eye and is about to let out a kick but gets stopped as Samael latches his teeth around King’s calf!
King lets out a hiss of pain “You little prick!” and raises his hand to swat Dyson away but Gravy grabs his wrist with his left and gut checks King with his right!
Kieran doubles over as Gravy strikes again with an open palm to the face followed up with a heart punch!
King wobbles and drops to a knee, as Gravy looks down at him still holding his wrist high into the air and Samael gets to his feet before throwing kick after kick into King’s sternum!
JR: Both men know their role to a tee here, shame they’re gonna try and kill each other because they make a good team.
JC: Once you fight against someone, the next fight with them goes a lot differently, after nearly dying I can see a very temporary bond between Graves and Dyson.
Dyson orders Gravy to pick Kieran up.
Orders being the key word as Graves stares a hole through Samael as he takes a few steps back.
Gravy gets Kieran in a full nelson as Samael runs forward.
JR: I’m getting deja vu! Samael pulled the same stunt in his last match!
Dyson reaches the pair and a sadistic grin crosses his face as he unleashes a hellish kick to Kieran’s groin!
But Samael is the one that falls down! Clutching his shin as he screams in agony!
JC: Gravy pulled King up just in time! And Samael connected to whatever ungodly monstrosity Graves is packing down there.
Graves wraps his meaty arms around King’s neck and tightens the hold, trying to choke the life out of him!
King struggles for a moment but has the foresight to kick down on Gravy’s foot, loosening the hold briefly and Kieran takes advantage by throwing his head back into Grave’s mask!
Micheal reels back clutching his face as King gets a breath of air and launches into a Pele Kick which connects masterfully!
Graves clatters onto the ground as King pushes himself up with a groan and is immediately bowled over by Dyson who tackles him down to the ground and locks in a sloppy schoolboy pin, grabbing a handful of tights as he does. The disembodied voice of the referee makes the count.
ONE!
….
TWO!!
….
KICKOUT!
Just after the two.
King clutches at his ribs briefly as Dyson drivers on top of him and begins throwing down sloppy strikes over Kieran who blocks the majority before planting a boot in Dyson’s stomach and flipping him head over heel; as Kieran pushes wind chimes sound off around the stage and a huge gust of wind barrels through the arena and as Kieran hurls Dyson the wind picks up and carries him across the stage sending him hurdling towards the edge!
Dyson crashes onto the ground as a mere inch away from falling off the stage entirely!
King and Graves’ bodies tumble over as the wind batters them but they manage to regain their footing.
JR: Goddamn! That wind doesn't mess around!
Graves steps up, as does Kieran and the two lock eyes.
Dyson gingerly gets to his feet two, looking out over the drop to the earth with a laugh before turning back to the others with a smile at Kieran.
JR: Jesus, this is basically a handicap match! Both Dyson and Graves have been relentless on King.
JC: And you're surprised? Kieran is the Universal Champion, two-time King of the XWF. He’s public enemy number one. But he’s also had the most experience as Universal Champion in multi-man matches which is why he’s still standing.
Kieran backs away from Graves slowly, his chest heaving as he cradles his ribs and assesses the situation. Dyson… Dyson doesn’t move instead he kneels down far away from the edge and looks at the two, Graves curls his fists and looks between both of them.
JC: Looks like a Mexican standoff!
JR: All three men want the other to make their move right now, Kieran doesn’t want to get involved in another double team and Graves and Dyson are too bloodthirsty to wait it out.
After a minute, the crowd… Villagers? Begin banging on the scaffolding and amping up the competitors until it builds into a rise, the wind shaking the structures.
And Graves launches into action!
Sprinting in and looking low to tackle King’s legs from under him but Kieran telegraphs the move and leaps over Graves BUT The Dark Warrior saw it coming and lunges upward getting King over his shoulders looking for-
JC: GRAVE DIGGER!!!
But Kieran flips out of the Death Valley Driver and lands on his feet before launching a roundhouse into Graves' jaw!
Dyson rushes into the fray and catches Kieran with a right hook and follows up with a sloppy left.
Kieran blocks another right, batting away Dyson’s hand and chopping him across the chest leaving a bright red mark.
Graves comes from behind and clatters King’s dome with a haymaker to the back of the skull and Kieran is knocked onto the ground; Dyson goes to stomp on Kieran but Graves stops him, wrapping a large hand around Samael’s throat and hoists him up into the air before driving him back down to earth with an almighty chokeslam!
JR: Why would Graves attack Dyson now!? They could have worked to get King out!
JC: Graves is a maniac, Joe! He wants the fight, not just the win.
Graves deadlifts Dyson up over his shoulders but as he does King is back to his feet and bowls both men over with a shotgun dropkick to Graves chest!
Graves rolls through and launches up from his feet but Kieran sees it coming!
JR: F UR HEAD!
King’s Codebreaker hits out of nowhere and Gravy is DOWN!
The crowd grow ecstatic in a mix of cheers and boos.
King lunges forward for a quick pin but Dyson is there to intercept; tackling King and mounting him; scratching at King’s face and throwing down with heavy rights before he sticks his fingers down his throat and begins to gag while leaning over King!
Kieran’s eyes grow wide and he shoots a knee into Dyson’s groin before reversing the mount and beating down on Samael, his hands linked into an axe handle driving into Samael’s face over and over!
Dyson goes limp for a moment and Kieran steps up to his feet, his legs buckling from underneath him.
Suddenly, as King is about to make a cover. The sound of static plays.
The X-Tron installed in the Village of the Wind (on the Trillionaires dime, of course) flashes to life.
The camera quickly darts around the village from building to building until a door bursts open and a body comes flying out, smacking into the camera in the process.
It pans down.
One of King Kieran's Kingsguard lays unconscious on the ground.
Panning back to the open door to one of the village houses, bodies of other Kingsguard members lay strewn about the room.
A shadowy figure moves amongst them.
Reaching down, the figure grabs a body and begins to drag it towards the door. The camera only catches the assailant front the shoulders down, where a flannel shirt hangs low and loose atop ripped blue denim jeans.
The body he is dragging is much easier to identify.
It’s the Captain of the Kingsguard, Tommy Gunn. And he's not quite as unconscious as his companion.
“Let me go, shitstain!” Tommy bellows.
Oddly, his attacker obliges. But there is no time for Gunn to escape. The shadowed man simply trades pulling Tommy by the leg for holding him by the jaw.
He hoists Gunn from the ground with nothing but a hand shoved down the captain’s throat.
And then he holds him high.
A gust of wind blows by.
And the attacker lets go.
Tommy Gunn is blown away by the Village of the Wind to parts unknown.
The camera pans to the man responsible.
[/b]
ALIAS.
Cutting back to Kieran King, he stands, alone, hurling expletives at the screen and the man on it, as Samael whistles from behind Kieran.
King turns around, almost annoyed he’s been interrupted.
And sees Dyson wielding a flaming gauntlet, the insignificants behind him giddy in anticipation.
JR: FLAMING THUMPER HEART PUNCH!!!!! [white]
Samael drives the gauntlet into King’s sternum and all the wind leaves his body.
But King doesn’t go down, only to a knee!
His eyes bulging out his skull as his chest burns.
The wind picks up again, killing the flames of the gauntlet and bowling the insignificants away like litter in the breeze and toppling the human ladder they made to get to the Village of the Wind.
Dyson’s eyes widen as King shakily steps to his feet, hurling gasped insults at Samael, frothing spit coming from his mouth.
And as Kieran tries to get the strength to reach him.
…
[white]JC: GRAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!
Micheal Graves from behind lifts King into the crucifix powerbomb and sends him hurdling towards the edge of the stage.
For a brief moment it looks like King is about to go off the stage.
And as the wind hits again.
That moment looks more and more likely.
As King sails through the air.
His side bouncing on the rim of the stage.
His hand grabs the edge!
But his body falls down to the earth below.
…
KIERAN KING HAS BEEN ELIMINATED
…
JC: Holy shit.
JR: Holy SHIT!
[b]HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
The crowd… er, villagers? Of the Village of the Wind are absolutely beside themselves right now! They are erupting
JC: …Wow! Sorry, folks, I had to gather myself there, but… for the first time in three years of March Madness… King Kieran is ELIMINATED!
JR: It’s unthinkable, Jacuinde! And that means someone is leaving this match with the Universal title! We have a NEW CHAMPION going into March Madness!
…Samael Dyson looks over the side… like he’s ready for Kieran to pop back up like a monster in a horror movie… Graves remains stationary, chest heaving…
But… no… the unimaginable has become reality…
King Kieran is out…
…
And immediately, Dyson and Graves bum rush each other! It’s an ugly all-out scrapfest! There’s no poetry, no rhythm! Just wild strikes!
JC: Oh my God! I think it dawned on this two men… who just pulled off something impossible together… that the only thing standing between them and the biggest prize in all of wrestling is each other!
Graves grabs Samael by the throat, looking to chokeslam him to the floor…
…But Samael, like a mangy trash predator coils his body in Gravy’s hands and jams his thumb into the Dark Warrior’s mask eyes!
Gravy drops Samael… Samael boots Gravy to the stomach! He tries to drop the Dark Warrior with a DDT straight to the dirt ground of the VIllage!
… But Gravy puts on the brakes!
And heaves him up and over!
BACK BODY DROP!
JC: Oh man! Samael might be in trouble! Gravy ain’t anyone’s traditional grappler archetype but he is… well, a wrestler! Samael has admitted over and over that he’s green in this game!
JR: But he has something no one else has in this industry, Jacuinde! The will! The absolutely unmatched desire to FUCK THIS COMPANY AND ITS ROSTER! And there’s no more true way to FUCK the XWF than winning the Universal title!
Graves stands over Samael’s twisted body and wraps his hands around Dyson’s throat, looking to choke the life out of Dyson…
But Dyson again desperately thrashes and twists like a possum trying to knock over a garbage can, and managed to shake Gravy’s grip long enough…
TO THRUST HIS SKULL FORWARD! Headbutt!
Samael’s head CRASHES against Gravy! Gravy collapses backward, the mask getting driven into his own skull… Samael covers his own skull, clearly not much better.
JC: Both men took the worst of that headbutt!
Gravy squeezes his skull, falling to one knee…
Samael rolls off the ground and with no art or technique whatsoever… DIVES ONTOP OF GRAVY!
JC: That was the ugliest Lou Thesz Press I’ve ever seen!
JR: I think if you asked Dyson what a Lou Thesz Press was, he’d think it was in the same appliance family as the George Foreman Grill! He’s not here to perform wrestling moves, he’s here to win! And possibly kill Micheal Graves for not making winning easy enough!
Dyson throws desperate wild swings from a mounted position, looking to smack Graves unconscious with his fists…
But Graves manages to grip Dyson by the scruff of the neck and roll side-to-side! Suddenly, Graves is over him!
JC: Oh man… you do NOT want to be close-quarters with Gravy’s fists!
JR: Two things Gravy is known for in the XWF! Hard strikes! And wet pockets!
Dyson’s eyes widen… he springs forward to try and claw Gravy’s ey-
WHAM! Gravy catches Dyson on the way up with a right-handed SMACK to the side of Dyson’s skull!
JC: Dyson’s demeaned a lot of women in the XWF! I don’t know how many of them have wanted to smack Samael Dyson, but that smack was worth a lifetime of slaps in one go!
Dyson collapses backwards like a boxer who just took a knockout blow! Graves collapses ontop of him!
ONE!
TWO!
THREEEEEE-NOOOOOOO! DYSON’S SHOULDER SHOOTS OFF THE GROUND!
JC: …Wow! I can’t believe Samael Dyson kicked out of that one!
JR: He’s hungry, Jacuinde! He wants this! He wants this more than a fat kid wants acceptance AND cake! Combined!
Graves shoves himself off the ground as Dyson rapidly shakes his head, trying to will himself back to consciousness…
Graves grabs Dyson by the skull and pulls him off the ground! Dyson’s legs start desperately clawing and shuffling to get free… but Gravy’s got him locked up!
JC: Oh my! This looks like no-man’s land for Samael Dyson!
Graves has his hands squeezing the side of Dyson’s head… He moves to jam both his thumbs into Samael’s eyes!
JC: Holy shit! I think… I think Graves is trying to literally gouge Dyson’s eyes out!
JR: Bold strategy, Jacuinde! He can’t fight if he’s legally blind!
Dyson starts to gag and sputter as Graves tries to dig his thumbs into Dys-
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?! Dyson literally empties his stomach straight into Graves’ face!
JC: Oh jesus christ, what the hell!
JR: A BOQUET OF ROSES is what he calls that! Samael’s gag reflex is the best in the business in terms of offensive firepower!
Graves, having taken a face full of stomach acid, wipes away at his mask as Samael collapses to one knee…
…But in one desperate surge, Samael drives his fist forward!
STRAIGHT INTO GRAVES’ HEART!
HEART PUNCH!
…
Connects!
JC: OH SHIT! Dyson hit it! He hit Matthew X’s Heart Punch!
JR: Even with the lawsuit for trademark infringement from Daddy Matty pending! That’s gutsy!
Graves covers his chest… and collapses backward… his body seemingly seizing! His chest palpitating!
Dyson collapses forward, looking spent…
…But he manages to crawl… arm over arm… slowly on top of Graves…
JC: This could be it! New Universal champion… Samael Dyson!
JR: It would be unprecedented, Jacuinde! But unprecedented would be how you describe every part of what Samael Dyson does!
He eventually collapses down onto Gravy!
ONE!
TWO!
THREEEEEEEEEEE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
SOMEHOW! SOME WAY! MICHEAL GRAVES FORCES HIS SHOULDER UP!
HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Graves and Dyson lie on the ground… Graves literally convulsing… possibly actually having some heart-related convulsions… Dyson is cradling his head… like he knows how close he is… but how does he get across the line?!?
…Finally Dyson finds the grit to force his way exhaustedly up to his feet… Just as Graves’ spasming body manages to do the same…
Dyson reels his fist back as Graves stumbles forward…
He’s going for another…
HEART PUN-
GRAVES EMITS PURE GREEN MIST FROM HIS MOUTH!
STRAIGHT INTO DYSON’S EYES!
JC: And now, BOTH men have spewed something from their stomachs into the other’s eyes! Even steven!
Dyson covers his face, whatever Graves’ mist is made of fucking BURNS!
Graves, running on fumes… BOOTS the screaming Dyson in the stomach…
Powers him up over his head…
…
GRAVES CONSEQUENCES!
….
CONNECTS!
JC: Oh my God! That’s gotta do it!
Dyson is HUCKED AT THE GROUND! He lands with a sickening thud!
With the last of his strength, Graves collapses ontop of Samael…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE-NO!!!
Dyson gets a shoulder up!
JR: DYSON GOT A SHOULDER UP! WHAT THE FUUUUUCK!!?
JC: Graves can't believe it! I can't believe it! The universe can't believe it!
Graves pushes himself up, his arms buckling under his own weight as Dyson crawls away, closer to the edge.
After what feels like an age, both men look to one another; Samael is wobbly on his feet about to keel over at any moment as Graves sucks in ragged breaths on one knee.
And as Dyson makes one last dash of an attack.
A bloody roar coming from his mouth.
Graves steps up!
. . .
And falls back to a knee!
As Dyson gets to him!
Graves huffs a cloud of green mist from his mouth!
He blinds Dyson!
And with the last of his strength he hurls his body into Samael!
BOTH MEN CRASH DOWN!
THEY GET CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE EDGE AS THEIR BODIES ROLL LIKE A CAR WRECK!
Dyson's body bounces up!
And Graves' digs his hands into the stage as Dyson claws wildly.
But...
Ultimately
Dyson is tackled off the stage off unable to grasp the edge!
WINNER AND NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW UNIVERSAL CHAMPION: MICHEAL GRAVES!
JR: HOLY SHIT!
JC: HOLY SHIT! HE DID IT!
Graves doesn't stand up, instead he rolls onto his back sucks in air.
[white]JC: Micheal Graves has just become Universal Champion! I can't speak!
JR: What a night from all three men! I'm beside myself right now!
JC: The King is out of the tournament, the Xtreme Champion is out of the tournament! And an undefeated Micheal Graves holds both the Universal and Anarchy titles! What does this mean for March Madness what does this mean for the XWF Universe!?[/white[
We slowly fade to black as Graves' music plays us out.
I've lost the Universal Title more than anyone else. I guess that might come off as a weird humble brag. But I say that to say this. Of each of the times I've lost it, this one is my favourite.
You've been on fire since you came back, but more than that, you've been a pillar of this fed for years. You're simultaneously one of the old guard where there aren't many of us left, and yet you're also someone who carved out a brand new niche in the more modern era. Best of both worlds. For years, through your arsenal of different characters (bring back The Atomic Bat) you offered some of the strongest character work in the fed, adding much needed flavour to the shows and you've never been afraid to make someone else look good for the sake of a story or a gag. You're an essential part of the XWF tapestry and I am so glad you've now got the Universal Title to your name.
This is one of those rare moments when somebody who puts in work for so long finally gets the biggest recognition possible. We saw a couple of these last year and now you get the same spotlight.
In the sappiest way possible, you deserve it.
Accomplishments:
3x Universal Champion (current)
1x World Champion
1x X-Treme Champion
1x Anarchy Tag Team Champion (as the king whom The Kingsguard guards)
1x Lord of Violence/X-Division Champion
2025 King of the XWF (Ides of March tournament winner)
2024 King of the XWF (March Madness tournament winner)
2010 Lord of the Ring battle royal winner
2009 X-Mas X-Treme tournament winner
2025 Star of the Year
4x Star of the Month (Dec 2009, Feb 2010 Mar 2025, Sep 2025)
First ever back-to-back King of the XWF and the greatest tournament performer in XWF history.
I was rooting for my boy Dyson to win the Uni and tourney damn it. Ngl it's disheartening that the guy who used my character without my permission multiple times and toxically trolled the X boards while locking threads so I couldn't post a reply to kick out all because he had ooc heat with a stablemate of mine, is the Uni champ. But I guess there's a silver lining since this shakes the tourney up some.
So congratulations.
Dickie you're the last hope now brother.
Oh shit! Hater alert! The following 1 user Hates Clutch's post!1 user Hates Clutch's post Dolly Waters (03-11-2026)
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
//as someone who has written through the worst and the best of Graves…
Congrats, old friend!
:)
4x XTreme Champion (1x as Misty Waters)
3x Television Champion
3x Tag Team Champion (w/ Vita Valenteen, w/ Charlie Nickles, w/ Madison Dyson)
2x Hart Champion
1x Universal Champion
5x Star Of The Month
July ‘25, August '24(As Misty Waters), August ‘21, May ‘17, October ‘16
(03-11-2026, 02:51 PM)Dolly Waters Said: //as someone who has written through the worst and the best of Graves…
Congrats, old friend!
:)
"though the worst"
My God, isn't that the truth... <3
The following 3 users Like (Gravy_Xtreme_5000)'s post:3 users Like (Gravy_Xtreme_5000)'s post Dolly Waters (03-11-2026), Peter Principle (03-11-2026), Scoops McGee (03-11-2026)
I've lost the Universal Title more than anyone else. I guess that might come off as a weird humble brag. But I say that to say this. Of each of the times I've lost it, this one is my favourite.
You've been on fire since you came back, but more than that, you've been a pillar of this fed for years. You're simultaneously one of the old guard where there aren't many of us left, and yet you're also someone who carved out a brand new niche in the more modern era. Best of both worlds. For years, through your arsenal of different characters (bring back The Atomic Bat) you offered some of the strongest character work in the fed, adding much needed flavour to the shows and you've never been afraid to make someone else look good for the sake of a story or a gag. You're an essential part of the XWF tapestry and I am so glad you've now got the Universal Title to your name.
This is one of those rare moments when somebody who puts in work for so long finally gets the biggest recognition possible. We saw a couple of these last year and now you get the same spotlight.
In the sappiest way possible, you deserve it.
It's funny because this is exactly how I felt losing the Uni to TK. I even made a similar post. Sometimes it feels good to lose.
// Genuinely overjoyed for Gravy. One of my favorite people I've ever worked with. Just a ceaseless positive energy when collaborating, always down for whatever, always willing to take his character to the logical place it would go based on the storyline,
Endlessly creative and an absolute sweetheart. Well-deserved.
Fucking incredible showing by Kieran as champ and Dyson. I really believe this was the most competitive Uni match the fed's hard... maybe ever? Three fucking killers just dropping everything they had for it all.
Very proud of everyone involved and this fed at large <3
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