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+--- Thread: Exciting March Madness Update! (/showthread.php?tid=49699)
Exciting March Madness Update! - ELON MUSK - 01-29-2026
From the Desk of the Trillionaires:
As we rapidly approach March Madness, we've been made aware of the following things:
1. Kieran King has won the past two March Madness tournaments in a row (including last year where previous management proved their incompetence by briefly diluting the brand March Madness by changing the event's name to Ides of March. What kind of fool would change the name of a beloved product to dilute its own brand recognition?
2. Kieran King is the current Universal champion.
As you're all aware, the Trillionaire management group is about one thing and one thing only:
Taking the XWF to heights never before imagined and doing what's never been done before in the history of this company!
Therefore, because the Universal champion has decided to opt-in to the March Madness tournament, we the XWF ownership group, have decided that, in every round Kieran King competes in the tournament, his Universal title will be on the line!
And if he loses the belt before the final? The person who beat him will continue defending the belt every round of the tournament!
That's right! The Winner of the March Madness tournament will leave not only with the King of the XWF crown, but the Universal title!
THAT IS ALL!
Signed,
Elon Musk
Jeff Bezos
And Mark ZuckerbergTHE MUTHAFUCKIN ZUCK YO
RE: Exciting March Madness Update! - (Gravy_Xtreme_5000) - 01-29-2026
I TOLD YOU ALL—ELON ONLY MAKES SHIT BETTER!
Still waiting for my lime green Cyber truck (with purple trim/interior]
RE: Exciting March Madness Update! - XWF NEWS AND RUMORS - 01-29-2026
RUMOR HAS IT KIERAN KING'S ODDS OF RETAINING THE UNIVERSAL TITLE AT MARCH MADNESS 2026 ARE LESS THAN FIVE PERCENT!
RE: Exciting March Madness Update! - King Kieran - 01-29-2026
"Odds? I have competed in three tournaments in my XWF career. I have won all three of them. Your math ain't mathing.
Yours truly,
The greatest tournament wrestler in XWF history...
The greatest wrestler alive...
King of the XWF...
King of the Union...
King of the Universe...
Me."
RE: Exciting March Madness Update! - Schadenfreude Clown - 01-29-2026
"Oh my! It would seem zis news is upsetting to the current Universal Champion! Vat a sad, sad circumstance."
Schadenfreude Clown laughs heartily pulling out a ridiculous amount of handkerchiefs from his pocket to wipe his lips dry of cognac.
RE: Exciting March Madness Update! - (Gravy_Xtreme_5000) - 01-29-2026
(01-29-2026, 04:54 PM)King Kieran Said: "Odds? I have competed in three tournaments in my XWF career. I have won all three of them. Your math ain't mathing.
Yours truly,
The greatest tournament wrestler in XWF history...
The greatest wrestler alive...
King of the XWF...
King of the Union...
King of the Universe...
Me."
"Yeah, yeah—but that's the past.
We're talkin' future: EVERY. SINGLE. ROUND.
Everyone workin' just a little harder to put you down.
Can't promise future success hedged on past accomplishments—not with that shiny Universal strap is on the line.
One slip-up, one bad night, one lucky shot from a guy like me who doesn't care about your legacy, and poof—potential new king, definitive new champ.
You call yourself the greatest tournament wrestler in XWF history? Fine. I'll call myself the guy who pins legends while they're busy monologuing about how unbeatable they are."
RE: Exciting March Madness Update! - Samael Dyson - 01-29-2026
(01-29-2026, 04:54 PM)King Kieran Said: "Odds? I have competed in three tournaments in my XWF career. I have won all three of them. Your math ain't mathing.
Yours truly,
The greatest tournament wrestler in XWF history...
The greatest wrestler alive...
King of the XWF...
King of the Union...
King of the Universe...
Me."
Kieran when you huff your own farts do you ever huff too hard and get light headed? Inquiring minds wanna know.
RE: Exciting March Madness Update! - Centurion - 01-30-2026
"I am torn. On one hand, I do not like Kieran King and seeing him lose the Uni Title again would be pretty cool. On the other hand, the Trillionaires suck so hard it's almost unimaginable, and anything that makes them upset makes me happy, so you see the situation I'm in."